I remember being up till 6am again despite having no interest in the football (although Man U losing to Copenhagen in the manor they did was rather amusing).
The really weird thing was how after about 10am I was really annoyed and tried in vain to count to 100 in German. And it worked to some extent...I fell into dreams, but not for long. And I knew I was awake even if my watch didn't.
By midday I reasoned I still needed more sleep, so changed tack and started to count in Spanish. Although this should have been easier for me it had the opposite effect and sent me into some strange dreams...not even dreams at first but visualisations of the numbers, or speakulisations (which is definitely not a word). But mostly, before any visual dream would come, the words would form themselves in some way then an English version (not necessarily a translation) would come. When this happened I'd coolly start again until a (short) dream happened.
A bit more refreshed after a couple of hours' sleep I decided to take a walk to find somewhere to clean my trainers that were new when we came here in the summer and to get myself a bedside light. It proved to be very easy as there was a shoe place near the Guanmart and of course a place by the market selling electrical things. I could hear the sound of some stringed instrument being played as I looked among the shelves until the bloke noticed me and asked what I was looking for. I thought "deng" was "light" but when I said I wanted a small one he showed me a lightbulb (which I thought was "dengpao" (well it is)), so I had to explain the structure of what I meant. Well I could have looked up "standard lamp" but not only would it have been cheating it would have been wrong, as I've since looked it up and it appears to be a tall, standing lamp rather than a bedside one. Well I spotted a small box and it appeared to be perfect; rechargeable and three brightness settings, although no USB charging as it said on the box. I experienced my first anti-haggle as the bloke suggested 15 kuai instead of the 18 written on the box. And luckily he checked the charging cable as it didn't fit so he found one that did. And the short experience was worth much more than the cost of the light.
It was fitting that I didn't feel like going out as I hadn't been invited anyway so I had some convenient noodles and just chilled for a while. Then, at getting on for 8pm, despite not feeling 100% I decided it would be the right thing to do to go to the old people's leisure centre for some exercise at the ping pong table. Despite being dressed and ready to go I procrastinated for 20 minutes before simply using logic to get my arse out of the house and onto the bike.
Oh and it was worth it of course. I saw a few old faces (literally and figuratively) and was invited to play by a few of them. I warmed up with one bloke who was leagues above me in quality, but seemed generally impressed with some of my backhand smashes. I only lost 3-2 in games to the second bloke, then got into a smashing rally (in both senses) with and old women who didn't look like she should be as nimble as she was. I made my excuses after 70 minutes at 9.45pm as I wanted to grab a shower and get to the supermarket before it closed at 10.30pm. And promised to come back some time soon.
Newly-provisioned after the supermarket trip, I had a refreshing beer I'd just bought from a six-pack that still cost 9.90. Just over a quid for six beers can't be sniffed at. Then advertising friend Nong asked if I wanted to go for ye xiao. Why not? I'd done some exercise and was feeling the better for it, and when she sent the location I saw it was next to where I went the first evening I arrived.
I turned up around 11pm and there were already a few people there. The muscley boss turned up who I think is Nong's business partner (or maybe other sort of partner as they are always together). Then two ladies turned up, one of whom had the most extreme make-up on and lavish fingernails with diamond-like stones encrusted in them. You could tell she was a lot older than she was trying to look, and she may well have had surgery to make her eyes and nose bigger. She sat next to me and despite her appearance talked fairly normally. Unsurprisingly, she asked if she could take a selfie with me and I said yes, as long as she didn't share with the public (she would no-doubt share with her friend groups）. A few photos later, she spent the next 20 minutes touching them up to make herself look even more like a doll.
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| Another feast by the guangchang with Nong and friends |
Then she told me the other lady who turned up was her sister and asked me to guess who was the older one. I told her that that was an unfair question as I could only really be wrong. But she insisted no offence would be taken so I said I thought she was the older one (I didn't tell her it was because she had all the make-up on and her sister had little to none). I was right of course, and then she dived into her photos to show me a picture of her 18 year-old daughter, who looked well on the way to becoming her mum.
Nong suggested I get up on the raised area to play the guitar and sing some songs. Err...no. Some of Li Kun's friends were there and one or two of them were up there singing. But we were in a nice public courtyard and I was just too sober to countenance it. Then, a lady who I think runs the place got up and sang a traditional song that all the others joined in with, and a few minutes later she came around with a kettle of white alcohol to ganbei with us. I apologised, saying I couldn't drink the stuff but she said it was only as strong as beer so I said I'd better try then. It had a sort of mother-of-pearl hue to it (so literally white alcohol rather than transparent) and was quite sweet, not very off-putting at all. So she poured me a glass and as I ganbei'd with her I suddenly remembered Andrew's experience with a white liquid all those years ago where he had a nasty reaction and started hallucinating. I sure hoped that wouldn't happen to me as last time I was there to protect him and bring him home but this time I was alone.
Luckily nothing untoward happened, and I was quite grateful to see Li Kun's friends packing up the guitar and speaker around midnight. Muscle boss then told me we could go for a massage after 1am and would I like to go? From experience I know that these places generally close around midnight so I suggested that places open at that time would offer more than just a massage. Although I applied a jokey tone, he responded in all seriousness that no this was pukka place, all above board, so I said I'd see in a bit. I'd told Nong I'd only be there a short while due to my lack of sleep (4h30) and I'd been there an hour already.
The beer and the food kept coming. The beers were a new Li Quan variety that were 4.1%! And the bloke who ordered them said they were 28 kuai each. Oysters were also ordered and although I'm not really partial to them I had three extracted from their shells (luckily they were "shou" - cooked) and put in my bowl. Bbq came too but I was too stuffed to indulge myself, though the lady next to put a skewer in my hand so I couldn't really refuse.
At 1am they brought out the you cha, which seems to be a new tradition (if that is not an oxymoron) to drink after drinking. It's some relation to tea, into which you put nuts and stuff, and in some way it feels a bit like a breakfast drink. Fair enough, the beers had been going down quickly.
Then, around 1.30am, muscle boss said he'd take me for the massage. So he really had been serious. I should have been tired but maybe the tea had had caffeine in it and I really had to experience it, especially as I've not indulged in a massage yet (nor even in the summer that I can remember). He suggested taking his nice white saloon car, but I said I'd arrived on my dian dong che and could follow him. So we all finished for the night (leaving too much good food on the table) and I followed muscle boss to the hotel near A Wu's house that has a KTV at the bottom. So it seemed indeed it would be legitimate.
Shortly later we were greeted outside the lift on the 5th floor and given a pair of slippers each to put on. Then to our room where we changed into massage clothes and two lovely ladies in a purple uniform came in with pots of hot water we dutifully put our feet into. Gosh, it was 2am and we were just starting a great body massage that must have lasted well over an hour. Even the water wasn't boiling so there was nothing to complain about. Well, until towards the end when she started scrubbing my feet. She first put some sort of sucker on my right foot by applying a flame to the inside of some hollow cylinder and using the natural vacuum to stick it to my sole. It pinched quite a bit. Then she scrubbed my left foot for a few minutes before reversing the procedure. At least you can tell them if there is too much pressure.
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| A slightly painful suction thing applied to my foot - I have yet to discover the benefits |
Afterwards we just walked out after putting back on the clothes and shoes, and shared the lift down with the masseuses who were finishing their shift for the night. I asked muscle boss about payment (I wanted to) and he just said something along the lines of him having an arrangement with the boss, which I found very believable. Although I could have slept during the massage, it would have been rather a waste of that time. But getting back at 3.45am made sleep come easier than previous nights.
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