Bangxu ladies chat and meal at Boss Zhou's and very, very late night

I suppose getting up at 11am after seven hours' sleep isn't too bad. I just had one quandary - do I put the washing on now or later today? It's lovely and warm during the day but we don't get sunlight on the porch where the clothes hang to dry so it takes quite a long time for them to do so. Washing now would mean only washing one pair of trousers though so not very efficient. Sod it, I'd do it later.

Jiuma came at around 11.30am and asked me to take her to the train station. Fair enough, but I hadn't charged up the dian dong che so I'd have to take it easy. She noticed I'd forgotten to put on my helmet and made sure I did before we left. At the station I asked about tickets to Nanning airport as the other day I'd just bought a ticket to Shenzhen rather than take trains. Not that I like flying, but with the new train to the airport it makes it a lot less of a hassle. The lady showed me the trains I needed to take and the tiny cost but said she needed my passport to sell them to me. I said I had all the details plus a scan on my phone but she insisted that she needed to see the physical copy. Now if I were to buy them online they'd only need the passport info, but I thought better about arguing this point.

My friend Yang had pinged me to ask if I was up in order to go for a walk earlier, and I honestly said I'd just got up and was he about? But he was going back to Tiandong and has been inviting me to go for a while, so I said I'd see if I could make it tomorrow.

So it was just gone 1pm and I had a bit of time on my hands. After the ride to the train station I'd put the dian dong che on to charge so decided to go for a walk in the 24 degree sun as I wouldn't be able to in a couple of weeks. I went and had another portion of jiaozi, and afterwards decided on taking a longer route back home past the old market. I was just reaching there when I heard "Peng!", and I noticed Er jie and Lin Hong sitting down outside with two other Bangxu women I'd first met 20 years ago. Well there was nothing for it but to sit down with them and chat. I'd not really spoken much to Er jie in the summer and barely seen Lin Hong for years, so it was actually quite a comfortable session, although session seems a bit excessive a term for a chat.

Bumping into Er jie on the left and Lin Hong on the right and two other Bangxu ladies in the middle

Lin Hong insisted that she get me some red wine from her place and promptly disappeared for 15 minutes, coming back with two bottles of Chilean Merlot. Well at least I'd have something to bring to the meal with Uncle Yellow and Boss Zhou this evening. We chatted for about an hour or so about family and stuff, then Lin Hong said to come back tomorrow evening to the same place to eat something. I explained I was planning to go to Tiandong but checked the train times and the last one back was at 5.40pm so said I should have time.

Er jie left to go to Bangxu, and at getting on for 3pm I too left to go home. As I was walking I had to go past the Zhong yi shop, which I originally thought was a tea shop but in fact is a traditional Chinese medicine place. There were a couple of people there and told me to come in and drink tea. The next 40 minutes or so were quite difficult and a good test of my Mandarin. The woman was explaining how this Chinese therapy worked, and that if you come here for a session you won't have to take medicine. Then there was some more stuff about how they send their wares to over 100 countries around the world, and that each country has its own restrictions about what can be accepted. I wasn't quite sure what she meant as she had just said that they made people avoid medicine, so what was being exported wasn't clear. It would have been a real jar to try to understand each and every word so I made do with just getting the gist of it. There was no way I was going to ask about double-blind experiments etc. But I enjoyed the tea and the satsuma (or mandarin?) they shared with me...not too sweet but very refreshing, and I made my excuses as it was getting on for 3.30pm and I reckoned I'd need to get the washing done if I had any chance for clean and dry trousers for tomorrow.

I really should have done some IT security study, as has been my plan, but at 4pm I allowed myself to have a refreshing beer. Then Uncle Yellow pinged me to say where we'd be eating and to be there by 6pm, so I decided to have a nice walk in the guangchang and and sup up the remaining heat of the day. What a simple pleasure to be had from 20 minutes just walking about. But Uncle Yellow pinged me to ask if I wanted cold beer and I replied in the affirmative, even though at this time of year everyone else seems to be drinking white alcohol.

I grabbed a shower and was only 10 minutes late when I was pinged again to be asked where I was. On the way, at the traffic lights in the centre of town I saw a woman on a dian dong che get stopped by the police, who questioned her about her "hat" - I think they should have said "tou kuai" for helmet but I didn't stop long enough to see if she got a fine. I just noticed that she had a tiny tot sitting in front of her under a bag.

I remembered to bring the Lego London skyline for Uncle Yellow's family, so that was most of the presents gone. I made use of the two bottles of wine Lin Hong had given me as my gift to Boss Zhou, and it was appreciated if not used, as indeed everyone but myself and his younger brother was on the white alcohol. Although not at first of course. We spent a good 20 minutes stuffing ourselves and I particularly liked the pig's blood sausage. I'm pretty sure this is blood pudding in the UK but I've never felt like trying it before. There was also some lovely chicken and they saved the breast for me, and appreciated my attempts at the local lingo again. That alone probably justified the sneaky second beer I had before my shower.

From early on in the meal about five of the blokes (and other than Uncle Yellow's wife Xiao Chong they were all blokes) played mo pai, the card game where you have to choose two pairs that add up to 9 or something like that. I've tried so many times to get to the bottom of this game, and looked online too, but I think I'll just need to sit down with a sober person for 20 minutes to understand it properly. The problem is there is never a sober person playing it. So after a while and a few beers Boss Zhou challenged me to cai ma. Challenge accepted. We played for a few minutes and then I played with Uncle Yellow. Interestingly, he told me he hardly played cai ma any more. Apparently his new role means he can't afford to be seen doing silly stuff. And given that everyone has the means of taking and sharing a film now there are very few places that are safe. I knew exactly how he felt, although in my situation it's more that Tan will see what I'm up to. But given this was Boss Zhou's place we were relatively safe, so it was game on. But we also had some relatively serious conversations about family life, and how us in our middle age had the burden of elders and youngers to deal with. Not that it's a bad burden, but it's a burden nonetheless, but we also were very aware that we would also be a burden to our youngers in the not-too-distant future. Without trying to bring in politics too much I mentioned that it was probably harder for the generation who were only allowed one child, and indeed Uncle Yellow pointed to Boss Zhou on my left explaining that he indeed only had a single daughter (well she is married, so not single in that sense, and due to give birth soon so he'll be the first of my good friends to be a grandfather).

Wu ge (Zhang Hongping) turned up after an hour or two, as did a couple of women. This is so normal as to be expected. I had to cai ma with the ladies and did a reasonable job, and Wu ge chain-smoked as is his wont. Strangely (or not), Wu ge wasn't surprised to see me, as though I just turn up from time to time and he just bumped into me. Uncle Yellow had to leave at 9pm to do the kids, but sent a nice voice message from his son thanking me for the Lego present. I'd got through around 10 cans of 2.5% beer and was bloated so around 10pm I made my excuses and promised I'd drive carefully home.

Cai ma at Boss Zhou's place, Wu ge in the middle being poured bai jiu while playing mo pai

Fish skin that you dip in the huo guo for a few seconds then dip in oil. Healthy I imagine but not the nicest texture

It was getting on for 11pm, and I wanted an early night as was planning on getting the 10.40am train to Tiandong, so thought I'd pick up a couple of beers to help me sleep. Well that was the plan. I got to the shop and paid my 30 kuai for six cans, but the people opposite in the tea shop noticed me and told me to come over for a glass. Of course I did, but said I'd better not drink tea as wanted an early night, so of course they ordered a crate of beer and moved on to that. The boss (I think) of this place had pinged me during my evening meal to ask what I was up to. Well in fact I had been here earlier in the day, unexpectedly again, so this was my second visit. But it was rather easier than the afternoon session as I didn't have to learn about Chinese medicine.

Nice late glass of beer with the Zhong yi people in our living area

Finally at getting on for midnight I got home and was about to ping the lads for a chat but wouldn't you know it a friend sent me a picture of a glass of beer and asked me to go over. Well I don't have much time left so I was back on the dian dong che to the bar by the football stadium as I'd done a couple of times over the summer.

What I didn't quite expect was that the beer would still be pouring at 6.30am! I don't think I've been up drinking this late for over 30 years! After dropping off the said friend at 7am I finally got home and realised I would not be taking the train to Tiandong in just over three hours....

Presents for A Wu's family and another bad lift experience

Somehow I was up before 10am. I had to double check, but made it and grabbed a coffee. Apparently I'd got to sleep by 2am last night according to my watch. I thought I'd better check with A Wu if he was about and indeed he was so met him for lunch of duck breast noodles. His kids were there so I went home to pick up their Lego presents plus the London skyline for A Wu and his wife. They seemed to appreciate them, but you never really know. We then spent half an hour outside a bike shop where A Wu nearly got one for his son but it was slightly too big. Steadying him while he tried it out (his son Yi an, not A Wu) brought me back to such days with my own kids. As all of my best friends here have much younger kids than me (mainly because the one child policy was dropped) it gives me a little bit more time to do those things I miss about being a father of youngsters, despite at the time just being tired all the time. It's the best of both worlds in a way, like walking someone else's dog but not having to look after it the rest of the time.

We're all just big kids really...

Yi an testing a new bike - I thought it was fine but he ended up getting a slightly smaller model. But those couple of minutes stabilizing him really brought me back to doing it with Leilei and Xixi so many years ago...to a great extent I'm living my youth here...well not my youth but I feel about 12 years younger here... 

I left them saying we'd meet around 3.30pm for badminton. I sneakily took a last bit of gin and went shopping for some more quail eggs before the Las Vegas grand prix. I couldn't find the GP on the tv and streams were crap so I semi-followed it with a couple of beers, thinking as I'd got up relatively early I might get a siesta. But A Wu called at 3.30pm as we'd agreed and I said fair enough I'd go over to his place to play badminton.

It wasn't the easiest thing to do after three beers but at least it was only three, and it wasn't much more than 20 degrees outside. So we played a net-less 20 minutes of badminton followed by another 20 minutes of table tennis where I soundly beat him. Then he said he'd invite me for a meal this evening in a couple of hours. I did mention that I'd been invited out last night but it was already getting on for 5pm and I'd heard nothing about that, so said fair enough I'd grab a shower and come back at 6ish. But first I happened upon a group of kids with a cute kitten and just had to have a go. Then while getting ready to go I got a message from Uncle Yellow to ask if I had time to eat tomorrow evening with Boss Zhou. Well, yes I do thank you very much.

Cute kids and a kitten - couldn't resist chatting for a while

At 6.15pm I got back and had forgotten which was his block. But some of the kids from earlier were still there and we chatted for a bit. Then I walked around hoping to recognise somewhere but in fact I ended up recognising Li Kun and his wife and younger two kids. I guessed they'd been invited too, and indeed they had been and were looking for A Wu's block too. Apparently it was number 8 2A or something. Eventually we found it and got to his house. It was like nothing had really changed from the summer except we were to have huoguo. There were a few other people there and one bloke leapt up to introduce himself in English and I humoured him by trying to continue the conversation but that proved to be a bit tricky.

Li Kun's wife's top says "We should all be feminists" - I didn't bother to translate as I didn't really have an opinion

I was happy to see that the kids had built their Lego presents, and Yi an (A Wu's son) was busy making the London skyline I'd got for his parents. It took him most of the evening but he was proud of his work as he should be. I'm glad I made the effort to get something a bit different from duty-free booze as presents this time.

Yi an getting through the London skyline...

...and the finished effort

Well the meal was fine of course, and the beer started to flow as did the white alcohol. Annoyingly, one bloke on the white alcohol got a little too drunk and started grabbing my hand and then kissing it. It's difficult to know how to react in such circumstances, so I sort of retracted my arm while smiling at the same time. I guess I had a glimpse as to how it can be as a woman receiving unwanted advances, and understand how much worse it can sometimes be for them.

We left around 11.30pm. Or rather we lift. There were eight of us blokes in the lift and suddenly the alarm went off. Oh bollocks. This happened for Leilei and I before and it wasn't a good experience as we were stuck between two floors. The alarm continued to go off and some phone calls were made but nothing seemed to be happening. I wasn't seriously worried about us falling down the 25 storeys, but then the pissed hand-kissing bloke went a bit mad and started kicking the wall of the lift. Really not cool, and he had to be restrained. For the next 20 minutes I was at least in contact with Mat and Andge back in Europe and they were giving me breathing advice. Finally, one of the blokes decided to use brute force to open the door, and it transpired we hadn't moved an inch and were still outside A Wu's house.

Horrid lift experience (again)

So we went in to get some water as you do. Still no sign of anyone from the lift company. Then we left again, straight back into the lift. I said I'd rather walk down the 25 floors but somehow got talked into getting back in and of course this time it worked fine.

So home was well gone midnight but I got pinged by a friend at 1.30am as I was chatting with Awl and Mat, so despite the fact I'd taken a melatonin and Phenergan I was out once again, this time to a place just next to the police place where I'd registered myself a couple of weeks ago. So yet more beer and a bit of cai ma but this time a loss meant a glass of beer. I managed to leave around 3am but some blokes in an eatery saw me and called me over. I think one of them knew me or Tan or something and I was somewhat forced to do a few more ganbeis until I said I really had to go. Finally back at 4am.

Another late one...

Musical meal with Li Kun's friends by the river

Well I managed to be up at 10am but didn't see any message from Li Kun about pig skin, and was not about to call him to remind him. So I slept in till well gone midday, when he pinged me to send me a video of the frying of some pig skin and asked me if I was up. I answered in the affirmative and he said he'd arrange someone to pick me up. I said I'd take the dian dong che so he said to come to the office where someone would lead me. That someone was the bloke who's often in the office drinking something or other and I really should know his name. But he turned up with a load of beer on his dian dong che and I followed him for the next 15 minutes or so.

Unexpectedly beautiful setting for a late afternoon meal and sing song

Wow, I didn't really expect such a place. It was nice to see wives and kids, which meant it wouldn't be too much of a drinking session. But there were guitars and a loud speaker, which meant I would be obliged to perform and therefore would probably imbibe. But of course food came first and we had some lovely nosh including the meat that had been cooked earlier in the day. Shortly later the first beers flowed and then the music started. There's not much that 2.5% beer can do for Dutch courage but sod it I think I can do without it now. I downloaded the lyrics to Mrs Robinson then checked with the guys back home and Mat said to do Mrs Robinson so that was it. Li Kun tried to join me on the drums but had some difficulty picking up the beat for some reason. So the other music bloke came to him and seemed to help him out. Of course The Boxer and Sound of Silence followed a bit later, so I'd done my bit and earned my beer.

Another set

Haiwei had invited me to go to his place for 5.30pm and it was getting on for that time so I said I'd better go but of course I had to be fashionably late, so around 5.30pm I took A Mong, the actual singer and guitarist, back to Pingguo. I had forgotten how long it took and dropped him off at the guangchang at nearly 6pm. But I needed a shave so went home to do that so didn't get to Haiwei's until nearly 7pm. I don't really remember what we did there other than eat some beef. Oh yes, some woman was there but not drinking as she was on medicine, and she said she'd invite us for a meal tomorrow but drunk or sober I've heard this so many times and I reckon there's a 33% chance of it happening.

Musical meal for Boss Li

Up middayish so not too bad considering last night's frivolities. Quail eggs were once again for lunch, and the afternoon became evening as Li Kun pinged me to go to his office for 6pm so we could go for the meal with Feng di. Once there I was given a huge drum to take on my dian dong che which meant I could barely steer. More importantly, it meant there would likely be music again at the meal...which would probably mean a guitar would be thrust in my arms again. I really wish I could sing well, like be able to properly exhale, not just keep in tune. I wonder if that sort of thing is still learnable at my age. I'm rather self-conscious about it but would enjoy it much more knowing it sounded ok.

I managed to keep up with Li Kun's dian dong che with his wife and daughter just about and a few minutes later we ended up at the original Li Jia He Xian for the first time in about five years. Wow, I thought it had moved to north of the city but no it is still here too. We entered a massive room with a round table that must have been able to seat at least 25 people and I knew I potentially had a rather large audience. Each seat had its own huoguo and there was loads of raw meat to choose from. We were relatively early to arrive but others soon did and before long there was a great atmosphere. Apparently it was Boss Li's meal as he'd just opened a new business. I took quite a lot of pride in being the first person to walk up to him and ganbei him and wish him luck in his business. To be honest I also was aware that music may start soon so I'd want some Dutch courage, not for the first time this year.

Yet another amazing meal

And yes, a bit later a guitar duly arrived and some bloke started singing. And yes, after that it was my turn and I did a few Simon and Garfunkel numbers as per usual. But it seemed that wasn't enough. Some teacher bloke started playing Hotel California and wanted me to sing it! Bloody hell it's much too high for me...but sod it I did it anyway with thanks to lyrics I found on the phone. Then I had to do a rendition of Hey Jude. Then a bloke started singing a lovely song I sort of learnt about 12 years ago (You mei you ren ceng gaosu ni wo hen ai ni?), and I even volunteered to join in with him, until finally we broke into my favourite Pengyou. Gosh, what a fun night! This sort of stuff never happens in a public place in the UK.

Li Kun said that tomorrow we'd go out to prepare pig skin. I don't know if this was meant literally or not but he said it would be at 10am which sounded rather early, given how the evening was going. I guess it's some sort of cultural thing so I should probably go.

Ended up getting home after midnight and had a brief chat with the lads. Tan had advised me to get a flight from Nanning to Shenzhen rather than a train, as the train would mean spending over an hour on the tube. I don't really agree with this but at 1.30am I was a little tiddly and bought the £47 flight ticket anyway. The train would probably have been more convenient and a little cheaper but whatever...

Passionfruit alcohol

I realised I was running out of money. Tan had sent me 500 kuai when I arrived in Hong Kong to add to the 400 or so I still had from the summer. So I've not really spent much at all, though others have on my behalf. So I sent Li Kun £227 and asked him to send me 1500 kuai of the 2000 he received thanks to Wise (and yes I had to "explain" that the money was effectively remittance for "family"). It only took a matter of a few minutes before I received the 1500 from him, then another message saying what about the other 500. I told him it was the least I could do to let him have that but a couple of minutes later he sent me that 500 too. Well, I didn't accept it, and within 24 hours it will be back in his wallet.

In the afternoon a friend pinged me to invite them and two friends to eat beef at the place around the corner. Oh well why not? They would bring some passionfruit alcohol as is quite normal here...there doesn't seem to be the concept of corkage luckily. So for 188 kuai you get a meal that is pretty much enough for four people. Having said that, it was mostly nei zang (innards) and despite me starting to identify with being culturally a bit Chinese I'm still not a massive fan of intestines. Liver, fine, lungs, why not? But there's something about the taste and texture of intestines that doesn't go down too well with me unless it's bbq and from a duck. So we ordered an extra dish of "normal" beef too. The passionfruit alcohol was stronger than I really expected, and after two hours the two litres were pretty much gone.

Nei zang in the middle with "normal" beef to follow up on right

Then Feng di pinged me to go to a meal tomorrow evening...wow - more than 12 hours' notice! Ok well that looks to be Friday night sorted then. Then somehow I got in contact with Haiwei and found myself back at his place a bit later to help finish some food. I ended up taking his friend Nong back home. Ended up being a cracking evening and somehow didn't get home till 4am.

Ping pang and ChatGPT

Lunch of jiaozi then trip to Guanmart to pick up some more an chun dan. 4.30 for a large bag was great. Then picked up my trainers from the cleaning place and handed in my black canvas shoes I left in the summer after they got filthy when we went "fishing" on the penultimate day of the summer. 20 kuai for effectively two pairs of new shoes seems pretty good value, even if it does take three days.

An chun dan is becoming part of my staple diet

I had a relatively rare free night in that no-one had invited me out, so planned to go to ping pong after I'd boiled the quail eggs and made six of them my tea. Except then Haiwei pinged me to go for a drink and bite to eat at his place but then said sorry but his boss had called him to work. Well lucky I had a plan B.

I got to the ping pang place and it was already busy. Doctor Ma saw me and grabbed me for a photo-shoot before spending the next hour making me practise my backhand. Blimey there is something about his bat that saps all the energy out of the ball and it just fell from my bat into the net nearly every time for the first few minutes. He kept telling me to lift my bat and eventually I managed to get a few rallies going. It felt completely unintuitive. Although it's been quite cold since Monday I did break into a sweat, and apologised at 9pm as I said I needed to go and see someone. Of course I was told to come back when I could.

Li Kun had asked me how to get access to ChatGPT 4.0. I told him it was $20 USD a month but you could get limited access for free via a browser plug-in, and I could come over to help him install it. So he said to come round at 9pm. I mentioned it would be more like 9.30pm so after a shower he sent a weizhi where to meet him. Strangely, it was just a shop and one of his mates was waiting outside and called to me as I arrived. Then there was another mate and we all got into the red car that had taken us to Tiandong last night and drove to a small bbq place right next to our house (having left the dian dong che at the shop). Yes this was typical Pingguo style - not knowing where you're going or who you're going with....

We sat at an outside table that already had the famous baked fish waiting for us. Presently, Li Kun turned up as did 12 cans of beer plus another box of 12 Li Quan should we need it. But it ended up being a relatively sober night (12 cans between four blokes), and we only added a portion of dofu balls to the fish. For once I was home soon after midnight, albeit without the dian dong che.

Unexpected Tiandong meal

Well, by 5.45pm I wasn't going to invite myself to Nong's husband's birthday meal, and I know from experience that such invitations made while drunk often don't materialise. So when Li Kun pinged me at that time to see if I wanted to go to eat snails in Tiandong I said I probably would, and he said to be outside his office at 6.40pm, and that we'd be back by 9pm. Hmm...it takes more than 30 minutes to get to Tiandong and I don't think a meal there will take under an hour. Whatever, I was in no rush to get back but just wondered in case that other invitation for tonight ever turned up.

I had nearly an hour to prepare and indeed I got there bang on 6.40pm. I thought I knew his office but it was closed so I called him and indeed he hadn't turned up yet. Two ladies sitting by a tiny fire cooking small sweet potatoes bade me sit down with them, as though standing up was a sin in the cold. It was an easier conversation than most with local people I didn't know. Another woman came to sit and I enjoyed the 10 minutes till Li Kun turned up in a red car I knew wasn't his.

There was another car with us and apparently seven of us were to drive up in the two cars. In the back of ours was a talkative woman who was Li Kun's colleague, and took fun in describing her name (唐海洋) and I realised I need to massively improve my writing and reading. One of the important milestones is to understand the radicals, as generally characters are made up of one or more of these. In this way when they describe a character using radicals from left to right you have a decent chance of being able to write it even if you don't know the meaning.

It shouldn't be so fun to see someone get out of the car to pay at toll...Lord knows I've done it enough in France with a RHD car

Li Kun said the car was electric and his friend's. But as we arrived at the place to pay for using the road he said he couldn't put down the window for some reason. I asked if it was locked and he sort of said yes but something to do with his friend. He used one of my favourite words "gang ga" - awkward, as he opened the driver's door and got out to receive a plastic ticket that we'd need to give back in Tiandong. And it turned out to be an hour's drive there so we only got there at 8pm...even later by the time we'd found the restaurant. So the only chance we'd have of getting home by 9pm was if we left immediately. But I'd predicted this and would never have planned being back in Pingguo before 10pm.

When we had nearly arrived at Tiandong Li Kun got out of the car again in order to pay. This time I decided I really needed to know what was going on. In fact it wasn't what I thought originally that the windows were locked and Li Kun didn't know how to open them. In fact I had to learn some new words as the owner of the car had recently added tinted windows and this was why we couldn't drop them down as they needed a few days to sort themselves out. It was a tiny victory but I was very glad to have sorted out this mystery.

There were a couple of blokes waiting for us in the outside eating area. I was worried about being cold as I'd had to wash my only jacket earlier in the day and would have washed my only hoodie as it had got slightly muddy from last night but it was the last thick thing I had to wear (together with a thin fleece and two tee-shirts. I was only nippy for a few minutes though as as soon as two tables were put together for the eight or so of us, we were indeed served snails and sausages. And the food just kept coming and coming. I'd had but a yoghurt all day so was more than ready for this and wolfed down the snails as much as you can wolf using a toothpick to gently prise out the flesh then pull off the crappy bit at the back you can't eat. The little spicy beef pieces were easier though, and then I had a bowl of fat noodles that really warmed me up.

What a lovely meal...it seems fine that a couple of blokes were watching their phones all the time..

Beer was served a few minutes later, and tea for the two drivers. Li Kun had a bad throat so wouldn't have drunk anyway. After a couple of ganbeis and introductions I suggested cai ma, but it turned out no-one knew how to play. At least they said they didn't. Teacher Li to my left then started, but I beat him pretty well. Then I played one of the women at 5, 15, 20, which is similar to cai ma except the only numbers you need to guess are 0, 5, 15, 20, which makes it a bit of a halfway house between cai ma and scissors, paper, stone. Then the louder woman who'd driven up with us said although she couldn't play cai ma, Li Kun could play for her and she'd drink. And I went on to beat him eight goes in a row before finally losing three in a row and saying "at last!". It was more fun that it sounds. I noted that it was Guangxi culture to be quite loud, as 海洋 shouted "he!!!" when I beat another woman.

We didn't leave the place till well gone 9.30pm, and as it was so late Li Kun drove slower, yet still always on the left hand side of the two-lane motorway. I told him this was only to be used for overtaking in the UK but he explained there were lorries on the slow lane and it would be inconvenient to keep moving over. Yes, but on the other hand there were much faster cars than us who had to move over to undertake, one of which nearly went into the back of a lorry we were overtaking at the time. Oh well, be predictable I suppose.

So we got back at getting on for 11pm and there was a bloke at Li Kun's table with an open can of beer, which is quite unusual as I've not seen people drinking beer alone before. What was more unusual was that the label on the beer can was upside-down, at least one of the labels was. We checked other cans and indeed they were all like that. I wondered if it was so they could stack them upside-down like I've seen before with soft drinks, but the others didn't think so and to be fair I don't think I've ever seen beer cans stacked even the right way up in a shop.

Some other bloke came and three of us had a couple of beers while Li Kun had pu er tea. One bloke was talking about some bloke who looked like a Hong Kong superstar singer, and showed me videos of them both. In fact he was a local lad, and apparently would be popping in. And a few minutes later he did indeed, in a bright white shirt and blazer. Ah yes, we'd met him earlier in the summer when going for snail noodles after a night out at 3am. He did indeed look very strikingly handsome, but was a very pleasant fellow (although I didn't deign to take a photo for fear of looking like a fan). He only drank warm water, and was doing those exercises actors do such as blowing raspberries as at 1.15am he was due to go out again to do another performance.

"Upside down beer?"

Li Kun said he would get 10000 kuai for 20 minutes' work, which I found slightly hard to believe. But his driver appeared and they left around 1.30am. I said he'd better make the most of it as he won't be that young for long, and that was agreed. We finished a last beer and I got home for what hoped would be a relatively early night but ended up chatting to Andge, Awl, and Mat and doing a quiz for old times' sake.

Haiwei's friend Nong's birthday meal

Whiled away at home till 5.45pm when Haiwei called me to pick him up to go to his friend Nong's birthday meal. Blimey it was really pissing it down again and I was once again delayed while putting on the coverall. The traffic was like nothing I'd seen before in Pingguo, and Haiwei was commenting on how convenient it was to have a dian dong che to swerve through it all.

Nong's place was a rather small and dingy, next to the hospital I hoped I wouldn't need to visit again. But of course the hospitality was second to none and we had a great meal accompanied by a fair amount of cai ma. I decided to bring the two packs of Matchmakers plus a box of shortbread as a sort of present as it's generally considered polite to bring something when you turn up for a meal, and it looks like they were appreciated. Nong said that it was her husband's birthday tomorrow so she would invite me back then. But beer had been drunk and I knew not to trust too much in such invitations. Before midnight I took Haiwei back home before getting back to our place where I had a brief chat with Awl.

Yet another great meal

But somehow I got back in contact with Nong and they convinced me to go back to drink a little more. The bloke who had delivered the beer earlier was still there plus another bloke. A "little" more haha...I didn't get back till 4am! But it was an incredibly fun night saying good night at 3am.

Difficult English homework and more guitar

Happy Birthday Xixi! Oh my my beautiful baby daughter is now an adult and I'm not there for it...but we did talk about it and are in touch regularly.

I've been lucky with the weather here and indeed it's been highs of low 30s. But tomorrow it's due to be a high of 15° and a low of 11°. In anticipation of this, half the people are already in long sleeves and/or coats. Even in the mid-afternoon. Even I'm not that sensitive. But in my anticipation I put on my clothes to wash in the early afternoon in order to do what drying I could before the cold set in.

Haiwei called me at 3pm to see where I was and I was honest and said I was putting out the clothes to dry, and I'd come over in 5 minutes. That turned into 15 as I hadn't noticed it was now pissing down so I had to sort out the coverall for the bike while not getting soaked myself, so I ended up arriving at 3.30pm after another call to see where I was.

True to my word I spoke with his son for a while before looking at his English homework. Crikey, it looked pretty complex for a 13 year-old. One particular question asked to find the odd one out in terms of the sound of the final "s" in the following words: A. books, B. keys, C. oranges, D. pens. The son had left this one blank. I first thought it was pens, as the "s" sounded more like a "z", but then they all sounded zeddy except maybe for books. So I sent the pic to Mat and he reckoned it was oranges it it was more of a "z" sound and I was confused, as he saw a case for books too (a book case if you will). So if a professional English English teacher is not sure, how is a 13 year-old Chinese student expected to do? I hope I do find out the answer.

Question 17 was particularly hard

Anyway, bar the homework (he was doing complex maths too), we talked till the food was served shortly after 5pm. For once it was all lovely; cha shao and pork ribs, with cabbage and other greens, and lots of it. Sweet in more ways than one. After the statutory 10 minutes or so some cold beers were opened. The owner of the house then arrived to join us, followed soon after by another bloke and the woman who was there last week who was good at cai ma. Every hour or so the food was reheated on the hob as the beer continued to pour and the mas continued to be cai'd, until gone 10pm, when I explained I needed to be somewhere else. Indeed it was true as advertising friend Nong had invited me to eat and play guitar at some other place.

The pork was wonderful and went down quickly

More cai ma silliness at the meal

I had no inclination to eat or play guitar, but it was a reasonable excuse to not get any more bloated where I was, and got to the place at 10.30pm. It was a busy private room with about 20 people who all cheered as I entered as they'd been drinking for as long as me probably. I managed a few ganbeis while listening to the semi-professionals playing and singing, until I had a guitar thrust into my arms. Well...I was reluctant but I'd searched the words to a couple of S&G songs lest I forgot them, and did a rendition of Mrs Robinson, before a few more ganbeis and then the guitar came my way again and I finished off with The Boxer and Sound of Silence. Well maybe it's Sounds but I prefer the singular.

I made my excuses around midnight as I wanted to watch the Chelsea City game, and this time I managed to connect to the VPN no problem and got a cracking stream for a cracking game. Of course I'd have preferred Palmer to miss the last-minute penalty to draw 4-4 but for the neutral and the title race I suppose it was a great result.

Four evening dates

Woke up earlier than I ought to but navigated the morning via Spanish counting dreams until I got a message in the early afternoon from a friend asking me to do an evening meal. Well today is Saturday and I'm just too busy so I said sorry no can do. Again, had they arranged a couple of days ago it would probably have been ok.

Li Kun's mate Feng, who'd sorted out the football tickets and food on Sunday, had pinged me to out with some of the football fans at 4pm. Given that I was due to eat with A Qiu at 6pm this seemed reasonable until he said they wouldn't be actually eating till gone 6pm. So I suggested I could come later and he thought that might work. But then of course I got another message telling he was on his way at 4.45pm so I said I'd grab a shower and meet him there, near Jiang Bing Lu.

Luckily I'd remembered to charge up the night before - the QR code has faded badly so I'm keeping this photo in case it becomes impossible to scan from the phone in the future

Also today, Lu zong (Waterman) had asked me to go out for the evening and I'd said I would, if only because it would give me a good excuse to leave the A Qiu meal. Tan had said she often will drink to the early hours then call her, so she didn't really want me going there, but I can look after myself.

So after a quick shower I got to the football place soon after 5pm. It was actually in a courtyard of a living quarter for workers of some sort. A couple of men were cooking, others laying out the already cooked food, and many others standing and sitting about, while another bloke was singing karaoke as you do. I got talking to the locals and they were saying this was a very typical Guangxi feast, explaining about the different types of fish (lo fei yu, which originally came from Africa hundreds of years ago, for example), and then suddenly at 5.30pm it was declared that food was being served so we all sat down. I'd not really expected to eat here as when you hear something will be served "after 6pm" it generally means much later than that.

Preparing for the meal in the courtyard with the supporters and their families

A famous Bangxu fish dish Tan would be jealous to see

Another very typical Guangxi dish with pork, duck, chicken and more...

I'm not sure this translation is perfect...but I sort of get the gist

Now for one of the nicer problems I have had to deal with here: knowing how much to eat before leaving for another meal. I declined the rice but the duck and pork were gorgeous, heated up by dipping in the huo guo for a few seconds then in some soy sauce mix. Then some of the speciality fish came, which is normally eaten raw but in this case was cooked and mixed with crushed peanuts. Feng said to send a picture to Tan but I refrained as I thought she'd be genuinely jealous as it's a Bangxu speciality.

Of course A Qiu rang at 6pm to see where I was and I told her I'd be there soon. In the end we'd had to exchange Weixin so she could send me the address, and it was north of the guangchang so would take 10-15 minutes to get there depending on traffic lights. But this is Pingguo and you don't want to turn up too early. The beer had arrived shortly after the meal had started, and of course it is customary to do a few ganbeis first. I finally told Feng I'd better go at 6.15pm and he was fine (I'd been totally honest about the meal with A Qiu). So a last ganbei later and I was on my way, when of course I missed another call from A Qiu. I called her back to tell her I'd be 3 minutes but I hit two 90 second traffic lights which doubled the journey time.

She'd told me that a friend in black and white would meet me at the gate and indeed I heard "Peng Duoming!" as I pulled up. It was a bloke and he asked how come I'd driven when we were going to drink? I think he wasn't being 100% serious. We parked in the underground carpark and went up to the 5th floor in the lift, into a sumptuous apartment that the bloke and his wife told me they'd bought last year. Ah, so this wasn't A Qiu's place, but friends'. The bloke's wife was the English teacher, and indeed for about the first time here her English was pretty good, so I was happy to indulge her in it for a few minutes. Then A Qiu entered - apparently she'd been waiting at the other gate in case I'd entered from that side.

There was some food on the table but they were still making dumplings and asked if I wanted to help. It may have been a joke but of course I joined in and made three or four really badly shaped ones before giving it a rest. I had a couple of glasses of tea with the elder of the house before another three people turned up at 6.50pm. So much for a 6pm meal! Finally we sat down at 7pm and I was glad I hadn't over-indulged an hour previously, as it was another feast. The men started on the beer and A Qiu poured a whole bottle of wine into a bowl and started pouring largish spoonful's into the ladies' glasses. There was precious little space on the table anyway and it would have been easier to put the bottle there (not to mention less spilling), but hey ho I guess that's one way to air it.

Another cracking meal...

In typical fashion, after the first beer the men chain-smoked though the meal. About halfway through, A Qiu got in contact with Uncle Yellow and it seemed he was about so he popped in too. He'd already eaten but of course a bowl was thrust in front of him with three dumplings. A Qiu got the dumplings I'd made out of the freezer and much mirth was had at the poor quality, and I had to admit they looked pretty crap but I told them they'd taste better than the others.

Around 9pm I reminded them I had to be elsewhere. I'd spoken a fair amount of English to who I now knew was Mrs Huang, who had told me she had a higher IQ than her husband (I told him I wouldn't translate what she said but she did anyway). And to be fair, she'd not hogged the conversation in English and mostly spoke Mandarin so the others could join in. So the husband took Uncle Yellow and me back down to the carpark and we said our goodbyes and I was my way back to Jiang Bing Lu again.

It always takes a little time but I found Lu zong's place eventually and went to the private room where he was with a handful of other people. Again, there was much more than enough on the table and he immediately served me a bowl of what was mostly pig fat from what I could see. Definitely not what I needed. As per usual people popped in and out. At one stage a bloke dropped in and sat next to me and poured himself a glass of red wine and went to pour me one and I had to be quite insistent that he didn't, and instead ganbei'd him with beer. Over the next few minutes he continued to pour himself more glasses and down them in one, and I could barely keep up with beer. Of course he became very red, and talked faster and faster and I could make even less sense than before. But I nodded enough and repeated enough of the ends of his sentences and thankfully he left after another glass.

Then Lu zong's business partner (i.e. co-owner of this establishment) turned up with his friendly face and it was a much more relaxing half an hour or so catching up. Shortly after 11pm I said I'd better go soon, and it seemed the others had mostly had enough too. Outside of the private room a group of people at a table saw me and bade me sit with them for a photo-shoot and couple more ganbeis. Well...apparently they knew me or Tan or something.

Finally on the road back home, Li Kun pinged me to see where I was. "Outside" was my honest answer, and he invited me to go to Xiao Bai de Tian, where I'd gone on the first evening. Why not? I wasn't that tired and I was nearly there anyway. So I went to my fourth place of the evening and we just chatted with some people I didn't know (or remember) till about 1am.

First boss meal and mini-reunion

Getting up at 9am was probably not the right thing to do, except for visiting the toilet. So I tried my new-found Spanish counting trick and it bloody well worked again, but in shorter spurts than German did. So every 15 minutes or whatever, I'd start again until a dream happened. I once got up to 80 (ochenta), then try as I might, could not make it to 90 (noventa). Every time I'd restart from 80 I'd get no more than five numbers before I'd drop off. I wouldn't say it was the most refreshing sleep in the world, but it was way better than nothing, and I didn't get up properly till after 3pm.

I was still having serious issues getting the VPN to connect. I'd pretty much given up on the phone and the laptop could take dozens of attempts. Maybe the powers that be had finally found a way to block it off. It's ok as I can contact immediate family but imagine tourists coming here and being effectively offline for the duration of their stay. But I'm trying to be philosophical and become accepting that this might be the case in which case I'd be stuck a lot more to Chinese which at the very least should improve my Chinese in more ways than one. But also it would block off access to some learning I was hoping to do during this break. So I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for this worst case scenario.

Haiwei had called me around 2pm but I'd not answered, so I got back to him at 3.15pm and he was asking if I could come to speak to his son in English tomorrow or Sunday. I said I was pretty busy tomorrow (at least three people had invited me out) so we pencilled in Sunday at 3pm. Then he left another message to see if I could go for a drink and bite to eat this evening but I said I'd rebooked with a friend this evening so probably not. However, at 6.30pm it transpired that this friend was busy (would have been nice to be told about it earlier...hmmm), so I told Haiwei I was no longer busy and he got back to me to go to his boss's place which is one floor lower than A Wu's in the same building as we went to copious times in the summer.

Well that was dinner sorted then. And I was pretty hungry too, so took the bike there for 7pm where I met up with a number of new bosses, and one I did know but can never remember his name. There wasn't even a single token woman this time, and the food was not quite as brilliant as usual. I had mainly raw fish dipped in oil but I'd added too much of something or other and it was overly spicy. So most of what I had by volume was the lamb soup which was bloody delicious. Unfortunately though, as per usual, my first serving of it was accompanied by large bits of bone and it was quite hard to hold them up with chopsticks and of course once I dropped one while trying to nibble bits of skin off and got splashback. But once I'd removed the solids, the rest was mint (not literally).

Almost nothing to nibble on the solids in the soup...luckily the liquid was delicious

Fishy meal with Bud

Predictably, the beer was flowing...this time "Budweiser" but brewed in Guangxi so as local as Li Quan. As I didn't most of about eight of the bosses I had to do a bit more ganbeing than usual, and even Haiwei remarked that at 3.6% this was significantly stronger than the 2.8% we're used to. Finally something we both agree about (about 29% stronger actually but I didn't mention this to him). He reckoned he could only drink four cans of such beer but he'd definitely had more than that by the time we decided to leave.

I would have been happy to go home but he got on my dian dong che (as he didn't want to drive his car after a few drinks) and directed me to a place I think I went to with him in the summer. It was just a shop front, but apparently some sort of reunion with ex-schoolmates. There were a couple of people there drinking white alcohol but there was plenty of beer available too. And of course some food...tiny fried prawns that were delicious and some sort of spicy root that I believe is related to bamboo but they kept telling me it was something else.

Haiwei's mini reunion

More people turned up and they all seemed to drink pretty quickly, so at one point I said I needed to go for a walk and spent 10 minutes walking round the block having a chat with Andge. Finally at gone 11pm Haiwei agreed that we had had enough, and got me to drop him off back at his office where he promptly got in his car to drive home.

Back home myself I realised I was still hungry, and found the bag of la tiao I'd bought the other day. Well they filled a hole despite being most unhealthy in terms of sugar and carbs but hey ho it's not every night. Although past 4am going to sleep is becoming so.

First ping pong and ultra-late massage

I remember being up till 6am again despite having no interest in the football (although Man U losing to Copenhagen in the manor they did was rather amusing). 

The really weird thing was how after about 10am I was really annoyed and tried in vain to count to 100 in German. And it worked to some extent...I fell into dreams, but not for long. And I knew I was awake even if my watch didn't.

By midday I reasoned I still needed more sleep, so changed tack and started to count in Spanish. Although this should have been easier for me it had the opposite effect and sent me into some strange dreams...not even dreams at first but visualisations of the numbers, or speakulisations (which is definitely not a word). But mostly, before any visual dream would come, the words would form themselves in some way then an English version (not necessarily a translation) would come. When this happened I'd coolly start again until a (short) dream happened.

A bit more refreshed after a couple of hours' sleep I decided to take a walk to find somewhere to clean my trainers that were new when we came here in the summer and to get myself a bedside light. It proved to be very easy as there was a shoe place near the Guanmart and of course a place by the market selling electrical things. I could hear the sound of some stringed instrument being played as I looked among the shelves until the bloke noticed me and asked what I was looking for. I thought "deng" was "light" but when I said I wanted a small one he showed me a lightbulb (which I thought was "dengpao" (well it is)), so I had to explain the structure of what I meant. Well I could have looked up "standard lamp" but not only would it have been cheating it would have been wrong, as I've since looked it up and it appears to be a tall, standing lamp rather than a bedside one. Well I spotted a small box and it appeared to be perfect; rechargeable and three brightness settings, although no USB charging as it said on the box. I experienced my first anti-haggle as the bloke suggested 15 kuai instead of the 18 written on the box. And luckily he checked the charging cable as it didn't fit so he found one that did. And the short experience was worth much more than the cost of the light.

It was fitting that I didn't feel like going out as I hadn't been invited anyway so I had some convenient noodles and just chilled for a while. Then, at getting on for 8pm, despite not feeling 100% I decided it would be the right thing to do to go to the old people's leisure centre for some exercise at the ping pong table. Despite being dressed and ready to go I procrastinated for 20 minutes before simply using logic to get my arse out of the house and onto the bike.

Oh and it was worth it of course. I saw a few old faces (literally and figuratively) and was invited to play by a few of them. I warmed up with one bloke who was leagues above me in quality, but seemed generally impressed with some of my backhand smashes. I only lost 3-2 in games to the second bloke, then got into a smashing rally (in both senses) with and old women who didn't look like she should be as nimble as she was. I made my excuses after 70 minutes at 9.45pm as I wanted to grab a shower and get to the supermarket before it closed at 10.30pm. And promised to come back some time soon.

Newly-provisioned after the supermarket trip, I had a refreshing beer I'd just bought from a six-pack that still cost 9.90. Just over a quid for six beers can't be sniffed at. Then advertising friend Nong asked if I wanted to go for ye xiao. Why not? I'd done some exercise and was feeling the better for it, and when she sent the location I saw it was next to where I went the first evening I arrived.

I turned up around 11pm and there were already a few people there. The muscley boss turned up who I think is Nong's business partner (or maybe other sort of partner as they are always together). Then two ladies turned up, one of whom had the most extreme make-up on and lavish fingernails with diamond-like stones encrusted in them. You could tell she was a lot older than she was trying to look, and she may well have had surgery to make her eyes and nose bigger. She sat next to me and despite her appearance talked fairly normally. Unsurprisingly, she asked if she could take a selfie with me and I said yes, as long as she didn't share with the public (she would no-doubt share with her friend groups）. A few photos later, she spent the next 20 minutes touching them up to make herself look even more like a doll.

Another feast by the guangchang with Nong and friends

Then she told me the other lady who turned up was her sister and asked me to guess who was the older one. I told her that that was an unfair question as I could only really be wrong. But she insisted no offence would be taken so I said I thought she was the older one (I didn't tell her it was because she had all the make-up on and her sister had little to none). I was right of course, and then she dived into her photos to show me a picture of her 18 year-old daughter, who looked well on the way to becoming her mum.

Nong suggested I get up on the raised area to play the guitar and sing some songs. Err...no. Some of Li Kun's friends were there and one or two of them were up there singing. But we were in a nice public courtyard and I was just too sober to countenance it. Then, a lady who I think runs the place got up and sang a traditional song that all the others joined in with, and a few minutes later she came around with a kettle of white alcohol to ganbei with us. I apologised, saying I couldn't drink the stuff but she said it was only as strong as beer so I said I'd better try then. It had a sort of mother-of-pearl hue to it (so literally white alcohol rather than transparent) and was quite sweet, not very off-putting at all. So she poured me a glass and as I ganbei'd with her I suddenly remembered Andrew's experience with a white liquid all those years ago where he had a nasty reaction and started hallucinating. I sure hoped that wouldn't happen to me as last time I was there to protect him and bring him home but this time I was alone.

Luckily nothing untoward happened, and I was quite grateful to see Li Kun's friends packing up the guitar and speaker around midnight. Muscle boss then told me we could go for a massage after 1am and would I like to go? From experience I know that these places generally close around midnight so I suggested that places open at that time would offer more than just a massage. Although I applied a jokey tone, he responded in all seriousness that no this was pukka place, all above board, so I said I'd see in a bit. I'd told Nong I'd only be there a short while due to my lack of sleep (4h30) and I'd been there an hour already.

The beer and the food kept coming. The beers were a new Li Quan variety that were 4.1%! And the bloke who ordered them said they were 28 kuai each. Oysters were also ordered and although I'm not really partial to them I had three extracted from their shells (luckily they were "shou" - cooked) and put in my bowl. Bbq came too but I was too stuffed to indulge myself, though the lady next to put a skewer in my hand so I couldn't really refuse. 

At 1am they brought out the you cha, which seems to be a new tradition (if that is not an oxymoron) to drink after drinking. It's some relation to tea, into which you put nuts and stuff, and in some way it feels a bit like a breakfast drink. Fair enough, the beers had been going down quickly.

Then, around 1.30am, muscle boss said he'd take me for the massage. So he really had been serious. I should have been tired but maybe the tea had had caffeine in it and I really had to experience it, especially as I've not indulged in a massage yet (nor even in the summer that I can remember). He suggested taking his nice white saloon car, but I said I'd arrived on my dian dong che and could follow him. So we all finished for the night (leaving too much good food on the table) and I followed muscle boss to the hotel near A Wu's house that has a KTV at the bottom. So it seemed indeed it would be legitimate.

Shortly later we were greeted outside the lift on the 5th floor and given a pair of slippers each to put on. Then to our room where we changed into massage clothes and two lovely ladies in a purple uniform came in with pots of hot water we dutifully put our feet into. Gosh, it was 2am and we were just starting a great body massage that must have lasted well over an hour. Even the water wasn't boiling so there was nothing to complain about. Well, until towards the end when she started scrubbing my feet. She first put some sort of sucker on my right foot by applying a flame to the inside of some hollow cylinder and using the natural vacuum to stick it to my sole. It pinched quite a bit. Then she scrubbed my left foot for a few minutes before reversing the procedure. At least you can tell them if there is too much pressure.

A slightly painful suction thing applied to my foot - I have yet to discover the benefits

Afterwards we just walked out after putting back on the clothes and shoes, and shared the lift down with the masseuses who were finishing their shift for the night. I asked muscle boss about payment (I wanted to) and he just said something along the lines of him having an arrangement with the boss, which I found very believable. Although I could have slept during the massage, it would have been rather a waste of that time. But getting back at 3.45am made sleep come easier than previous nights.

A third Huang meal in a row - too much

Having gone to sleep at soon after 6am I would have expected to be awake around lunchtime but gosh no...it wasn't even 9am. I wouldn't have minded quite so much had I had something decent to eat in the house but I only had another boiled egg. Well I suppose that's breakfast. Eventually the VPN on the laptop connected again and I dozed a little to a science podcast. It's days like these I feel I'm not really making the most of being here. But trying to meet up with a mate for lunch would have been a jar feeling so tired.

Tan pinged me to say A Qiu had made a present for her that she hadn't finished when we were here in the summer, so she gave her my number as she wisely thought I wouldn't want her Weixin. In the afternoon A Qiu called to say she was by the main entrance, and luckily I guessed which one. She handed over a box that Tan had said may be too big to bring back but after having disposed of all the medicine Tan had got me to bring over I should have plenty of space. It's actually quite a nice tapestry-like thing but I didn't want to open it all out. A Qiu then invited me to tea at 6pm on Saturday and said an English teacher friend would be there and it would be good to communicate with her. I'm not sure why we said "communicate" instead of talk, similarly to when Haiwei wants me to "communicate" with his son. I guess it's one of those nuances that I'm hoping to pick up on more on this trip. The fact that both examples involved me speaking English to a non-native speaker is probably a clue as to why the emphasis was on communication rather than talking itself.

Tan also chastised me for wearing a football badge that said to "beat them up". Hang on, no I wasn't was I? I checked a new version of the badge I was wearing. The font was particularly hard for me to decipher but after some work with Pleco I managed to establish that it said:

平果哈嘹

无名球迷something

古跌

Which I translated to:

Pingguo Haliao

Nameless football fans

Ancient Times

Apparently the bottom two characters mean "beat them up"

Ah, but of course 古跌 is local dialect for "beat them up". Well, as if it actually meant that. There was also a large flag draped down saying "Welcome to Hell" - did they mean that?

A friend had messaged to go to dinner tonight but I didn't really fancy that. Also, Huang Zhongxing had said yesterday that we'd be eating at one of his friend's, which again I had no desire to attend this time.

Awl called late afternoon and we agreed I should not feel obliged to go to either evening meal so I postponed the one with the friend and told Huang I may not be able to make it. With weights off my shoulder I made a quick dash to Guanmart to get some provisions and knew I'd be safe for a while.

That while lasted till nearly 5.30pm when Huang sent a picture of the food that had been prepared for this evening. I felt bad but told him honestly that my stomach wasn't comfortable and if I could I'd pop over later. To which he replied "ok" and then sent me the location. A couple of hours later he called me again, so this time I called him back and thought I'd at least make an effort and show my face. So I had a couple of small beers and found the place on the other side of town.

Of course it was another sausagefest, and again I wasn't really in the mood. And Huang was in a worse state than I've seen him in before. But the owner of the shop we were eating at the back of was there, and he seemed to be a cool character. He was one of the few on the beer, and he wasn't feeling very well so it was pretty easy to keep the pace down. Huang had challenged another bloke to drink a can of beer to his glass of white alcohol, and in the end was rather red-faced. He even covered his glass when someone tried to top him up, suggesting he knew he was beyond his limits.

He said I could give him a lift back, and got up and walked into the front of the shop, well with the help of the wall he got there anyway. I told the boss I wouldn't take him on the bike as he would just fall off, and he agreed and booked a didi che. Huang staggered back to the back of the shop and the boss just told me it would be fine to leave, so I did, within an hour of having arrived, almost totally sober.

At getting on for midnight Li Kun pinged me to see if I wanted to go for a drink and I answered honestly that I wanted to but was suffering too much from jetlag. However, I still couldn't sleep till well into the early hours.

Another meal with Huang Zhongxing after finally registering, and a very late night watching City

I should have been knackered but was up early again. And I felt pretty crap after last night. At 10.30am I got a phone call but as usual in this room in the house I couldn't connect to the person who called me. I guessed it was from the police station and this was confirmed a couple of minutes later by a Weixin message telling me my passport was ready and I responded gratefully saying I'd be there to pick it up later in the day.

I wasted the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon before forcing myself to grab a shower and some nuts and an egg I found in the fridge that I must have bought three months ago. That kept me going for a while and enabled me to walk down to Jiang Bing Lu where I'd left the dian dong che last night. I might over-indulge now and again but I'm getting a lot better at knowing my limits when it comes to driving powered vehicles. The walk was slightly surreal though. It was not warm but not cold, but I broke into a slight sweat despite my rolled up shirt sleeves.

It was that time of day where you sort of see what normal people do when they are not asleep due to the heat. Still so many young people making earphone sets I can only assume are for aeroplanes even though I've not had a set in the last 10 years or so. But anyway I picked up the bike and somehow found my way to the police station. Well in fact it should have been easier but all my VPN apps on the phone have stopped working so Google Maps didn't want to show me how to get to this place that I'd saved in the summer. However, it did show me relatively where it was so I had a good clue and made it in 15 minutes. So again I was finally official in Pingguo! I felt like celebrating but couldn't really justify it so went home to pick up my shopping bag to go to the supermarket instead.

I'm not sure how official or acceptable it is to sign with my Chinese name - probably neither

Li Kun pinged me to see where I was and invite me to drink tea, so I told him I'd pop round after shopping. Then the bloke from yesterday pinged me to see if I was about but I ignored him until he called me, at which time I said I'd call him back a bit later if that was ok. Tea at Li Kun's really was tea and we had another reasonable chat. I let him have a look at my passport and he rifled through it and seemed genuinely impressed about the number of stamps there, and countries I'd visited, but I had to explain that since Brexit now all European countries stamp me in and out but nonetheless due to work in the last few years I guess mine is a lot more worn than most. Shortly later the bloke I ate with yesterday called me again to go to eat, and I said ok, and Li Kun invited me to go back to drink tea later in the evening. I have since found out he is called Huang Zhongxing (the other bloke, not Li Kun).

Well the place to eat was within Yu Jing Hua Ting so it was pretty easy for me to pop round after picking up a 12 pack of beer first. I was about the 10th person to arrive but by no means the last. Unfortunately the food had quite a lot of skin to deal with, and by now my teeth are starting to suffer from the tough meat that is preferred here. But I soldiered though until cai ma started and a couple of other blokes moved to the beer too. One of the blokes beat me pretty badly. But one of his fingers was more of a one inch stub and it was really hard to tell if it was "out" or not, so I had to go by others' expressions as to whether I won or lost. It seems like a bit of an unfair advantage but I wasn't going to complain (or maim myself to have the same advantage). By about 9pm I'd had enough, and made my semi-genuine excuse of jetlag and they were ok to let me leave.

On the way home, which lasted all of one minute, Beihai Huang video-called me to go over and have a drink. As I was full I wasn't massively in the mood but said I'd go over later. And about 40 mins later I walked out of Yi Jing Hua Ting and immediately two of the blokes I'd recently been eating and drinking with drunkenly called over to me "Yingguo lao!". I felt rather guilty about using my jetlag excuse to leave them earlier as I was clearly going out again, but they were drunk enough not to remember and I left them with a smile.

Huang had had some of the brown alcohol I can sometimes stomach but had no intention of tonight, so a couple of beers were cracked open and we had a relatively (for Huang) sober chat, without him giving me those annoying hand shakes with the middle knuckle pressed in. And it was cool to see his younger daughter and wife again. But I really was flagging now, so for a second time tonight made my excuses and went home.

I was in bed by midnight, and normally would have been asleep very soon after, based on my good schedule since arriving in a time zone eight hours ahead of what my body was used to. But jetlag decided this would be the time to introduce itself this visit. However, this time I had a little bit of a plan to take advantage of it. The Man City v Young Boys Champions League game was to be on at 4am, and if I couldn't sleep I had that to look forward to. Knowing my luck I'd probably fall asleep bang on 4am, but in fact I was still awake and the VPN was holding up, so I found a pretty good stream to watch it with. It seemed that the jetlag was coming for me from the other direction, i.e. barely letting me sleep. I've done this in the past when having to wake up an hour after the match to take one or both the kids to school but felt so tired I couldn't see it happening. Then it was 2am, and I wondered if it was too early or too late to have a beer.

Andrew said "neither" (as in too early or too late) so I thought my usual Chinese thought of "sod it" and cracked one open as the match started. And tamely made the one can last most of the first half. Most of 45 minutes is 30 minutes and one second though, so I was on my second well before half time. But I appreciated Foden's beautifully and deftly crafted goal just before half time with a whelp I wouldn't have been able to give at 4.45am back in the UK.

Somehow I managed till 6.07 till I crashed out.