Bai long dong last supper

I really should have got at least a few hours' sleep after arriving home at 2am but I got virtually none. Very soon after getting to bed I fell into a dream where I came "home", wherever that might be (although it seemed more like England), only to be greeted by a posse of about six robins outside my house, and it definitely wasn't winter. I wish that had been it but for some reason it really woke me up until about 6am. Then I fell into a dystopian dream where I was in some sort of factory place and...damn...it was so clear so recently...it does come back now and again but it involves strange looking people and an Orwell-esque setting. Actually, the strange looking people were horribly disfigured, and I realised it was beyond that which I was capable of dealing with. Luckily, a couple of the disfigured people were genuinely evil so I was justified in making an escape from this place. It made me feel really human until I realised I'd spent no more than 15 minutes asleep and now it was 6.30am. After umming and arhhing I got up around 7am and dried the clothes as if to justify my being awake. I still find these times to be very life-affirming; I might not want to be awake, but just the simple view outside makes me feel very much alive. It's a weird, contradictory state, as I really feel at home here, yet because of the temporal nature of our stay I'm acutely aware of our impending departure, even after the first couple of weeks. It's unavoidable unless we spend half or most of our time here. And if we did I'd probably start feeling the same about London.

As I'd been thinking too much, I did the logical thing of finding my sweaty shorts that hadn't yet been washed, and a washed Man City top and filled up a couple of bottles of water and went to the old people's leisure centre, as any sane person would with sleep deprivation. I've never regretted such a move and today was no different - I got well and truly beaten yet again but my body was the better for it. I was really gutted to leave as this could be my last time for a long time.

I needed a sleep and made myself stay up till lunchtime just to have a bite to eat to sleep on. But before I could hit the sack Tan called me to say that I'd done something really bad.... Well as usual I'd organised a meal for my mates, and this year I'd done pretty much the same as last year by doing it at the cool cave, which I now know is called "Bai long dong" (white dragon cave). Well yesterday I'd called Uncle Yellow and asked him to arrange everything, including a dog to feed my friends. I wasn't really willing to change this but Tan seemed really adament that no-one wanted to go to the cool cave tonight. So, reluctantly, I called Uncle Yellow again to ask him if we could change the plan. He responded: "the problem is...we've already-" I cut him off mid-sentence and knew exactly what he was going to say - the dog had been ordered and we couldn't just un-kill it. I told him that there was no problem and I was looking forward to this evening (which was genuine) - I just had to hope Tan was wrong about all my mates.

Had I worried about it it might have stopped me sleeping, but I do know my mates here, and wasn't worried as us males don't get upset about things like where we eat, as long as we get the chance for some good nosh and the chance to have a laugh, which isn't really that far from what the ladies are after when they go out (except they prefer posher surroundings). So I slept soundly from around 2pm till 5pm. Like last year, half the people I invited were during the last few minutes, as seems to be the way here, and not one couldn't make it (like last year again). Sadly, Zhong Hongping, my friend for the last couple of years had his phone turned off so I couldn't invite him. It's a real pity as I class him as a friend and this year I've not managed to see him, and only got a text off him asking me to call him when I'm free....

But the meal was very similar to last year - most of my mates turned up, we ate and drank, except this time the main course was dog. Despite eating dog being quite a special occasion normally, there was so much of it there was little space for anything else. So I asked the boss to do some fried mini prawns like last year. And then we got a couple of other non-dog dishes that were quite frankly better than the dog, as much as I hate to admit it. But it was a fun night with A Wu, Boss Hu and his mate, Uncle Yellow, Lu Hai, Li Kun, Yang Haiwei, Lao Su and various others. Unlike last year I stayed till pretty much the end and was able to pay the 900 kuai bill. I imagine it would have been considerably cheaper had we not gone for the dog, but what the hell? It was my meal with my mates.

This was our dog, at least his (her?) skin and vertebrae

The boss of the Cool Cave - a really good cook and I should know!

Some of my Pingguo mates - in many ways like my mates from London

As it wasn't particularly late, I took the dian dong che for a detour before heading home. I passed the place where I'd bought my tea table a couple of years ago and although it was 10.30ish the owner was still there presiding over his arboreal works of art. I have realised for a couple of years now that it is not practical, or even possible to bring back a chiselled tea table back to the UK. Firstly, as it wouldn't fit in any suitcase, and secondly as it would take up three years' baggage allowance for four people. But I saw something I hadn't seen before: tea table tops. They were like the top couple of inches of a tea table, and therefore could be placed upon any other table. Genius! At least until I saw the prices. They weren't that much cheaper than the table "running dog" I'd bought two years ago. But I suddenly saw the possibility of something I could bring to London! I looked around at the six table tops on display and decided on one that I really wanted. I should have gone home and measured my suitcase, then come back, but I told the bloke I hoped to pick it up the next day. 580 kuai was pretty expensive but at least it was a local dealership and, more importantly, it was unique!

Having pretty much settled on this, and knowing the kids were sleeping at Waipo's, I had a relatively early night at 12ish and slept like a baobei.