Well I’d been wondering when to take the train back to Guangzhou - Leilei wanted to have a couple more days in Hong Kong but I wanted to stay in the mainland. I used the very genuine excuse of the current uprisings in HK to justify staying one night in Guangzhou to meet my ex-colleague and one more night in HK before our midday flight on Saturday, So at least we’d get an afternoon and evening there. Although it’s nearly two weeks in the future there were not that many tickets left already and none in business class where I thought it may be better for our suitcases, so we snapped up a couple of normal class and would hope for the best.
Leilei had told me about this experiment and I found it worked...neat but I need to understand why
The rest of the day was work until I went to Haiwei’s at 5.30 as promised. We were pretty sensible and only had a couple of cans with the meal. But that turned into a couple more after the meal as my friend 2-1 was there and his girlfriend is pregnant and before we knew it it was 9pm and pissing down outside. 2-1 invited me out tomorrow and I said thanks but I couldn’t commit due to work.
After a wet journey home advertising friend invited me out for a drink but I sadly had to refuse as water man had been badgering me for the last couple of days to meet up for a beer. But this in itself was slightly rushed as Boss Zhou had also invited me to go to sing song. But I stayed a good hour sitting in the doorway of his shop in the good company of some of his mates who are becoming my mates a bit now. Apparently we were to be eating slivers of raw fish and I was a bit disappointed when they didn’t turn up but other fishy stuff did instead. But soon after bbq turned up, including the infamous zhu bian, of which you only get one per pig, and only male ones at that.
Only one per non-sow pig
They were understanding when I made my excuses some time after 11pm and went to see Boss Zhou at the KTV. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him in a KTV, and he was in high spirits, as were a number of women, one of whom apparently knew me from 15 years ago as we’d gone for a meal with her as a family. I took her word for it. But the next 15 minutes became a little bit like my former, pre-kids time in China where I was the centre of attention, and copious photographs were taken that would get sent out on WeChat in near-real-time. It was totally innocent of course, and I felt my smile was a little forced, not that they sensed this. But at least this slowed down the intake of 2.5% beer and I was able to leave the place as sober, if not more so, than when I entered.
Still friends were trying to contact me but as tempted I was to continue the night it was late enough and I managed to sleep before 4am.
The kids and Tan took the 10am train to Baise to Er Jie’s house, meaning they left home at 8am which is stupid in my book but my book contains lots of things that may be considered stupid too, like cryptocurrency. But also apparently there was some birthday in Baise which I slightly doubted as birthdays are not really celebrated here in the same way.
I had brunch at Luwen’s and he invited me to eat duck with him this evening as it’s still gui jie (not a single day celebration). Apparently everyone eats baked duck and chicken for this occasion, and judging by the copious pictures on WeChat this is true. Why I only learnt this after 16 years I really don’t know.
Luwen knows now to give me a half portion of fen but extra quail eggs but still won't let me pay
Then in the afternoon an ex-colleague called and wanted to discuss business with me so I said ok I may stop at Guangzhou on way to HK to talk face-to-face. It was something about my old work...he’s now based in China and trying to sell this product but as it’s cloud based no Chinese company will touch it unless the data resides in the country, so they are left to buy crappy equivalents that are home-grown. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to help this.
Well I worked till 6.15 then pinged Luwen and he said not to come to his place as it was too hot there so he went to his shop and I met him 15 mins later. It transpired that he had already had a family meal, which is a good thing, but he’d brought a feast for me. I was forced to eat two duck legs but my teeth really weren’t up to it so it took ages and only once I’d eaten what I could of the legs did he deem it sufficient to crack open a beer. I wasn’t massively in the mood but we get through a few cans anyway till I made my excuses at 8.30 to get back on with work.
A veritable feast for one
Which I did for an hour till I went to 3000du bar as Haiwei had invited me to talk with his elder son in English. I did this for two hours during which Haiwei spent the whole time watching programmes on his phone. Apparently the NBA has been banned on the TV because one of the owners of a team publically supported Hong Kong, and the league itself did not publicly disagree with him. It’s weird because it’s so popular here, yet Haiwei’s son didn’t seem to be critical in any way. It’s just accepted. Well maybe I’m the weird one for finding it weird - at least where I am now.
At least for the last 20 minutes it was a bit more interesting as I noticed a group of about eight ladies having some beers and one of them was taking a picture of the group. Of course I jumped in and offered to take a pic of all of them, and recognised one as a Shanghainese woman who had married a Pingguonese bloke, so we had something in common. It was much more fulfilling talking to them for a bit in Mandarin, but I felt bad for Haiwei’s son so I ganbei’d them and went off to finish talking English with him, and Haiwei said to come to his house for supper tomorrow and told him that work-allowing I’d be there thanks.
The ladies posing for someone else taking the photo so not noticing me
Mainly work today as it should be and I’m grateful for them letting me WFH here. It was gui jie today, meaning some festival of the dead though I’ve never really understood it properly as they have some other special day in March or April to remember the dead. Took the kids to the guangchang again for 40 mins only as was so hot today, then worked till 10.30pm, having only eaten a little at midday and at 6pm.
Actually skating in the light for a change
I popped to see racist Huang but his wife told me he was back in Beihai till 15th, so decided to see if Boss Zhou was about. Indeed he was and he shouted to me to come over and have a bite, and I ended up staying till 1ish as more friends arrived during the meal so cai ma blah blah. Then, as going back, Zhang Hongping shouted at me from another place to have more beer and chat and didn’t leave till 2.30. A typical evening in the life...
I hope it's not serious but I have a need to take a photo of the mileage every time I charge up - I think I'm planning to make a chart to plot how badly the battery is holding its charge and help me decide when to change it
Up slightly late, as were the kids so we once again went to the yumi tang place for lunch. I straightaway felt rather sick and had diarrhoea all afternoon. Waterman called me to ask me to invite him and some friends to drink at the same place we went to the other week. Oh well I suppose it’s my turn to do this and it’s a good thing to pay back in a way.
Yesterday a large green container was placed outside the bottom of our building. It surprised me to find out that it was actually a clothes recycling place, not just for clothes, but bags and books too for good measure. Finally something practical for the shoes the kids have grown out of but I didn’t want to chuck, and we got rid of Xixi’s white trainers that were now yellow and the shoe-cleaning shop even admitted they wouldn’t be able to get back to their former glory. Hopefully some child won’t mind and will make use of the half a million or so paces they have left in them (depending on the gait and weight of the said child). I now have an option for some of the many clothes I’ve been hoarding for the last 10 years in the hope that I might spend time here when it’s cold.
Xixi at the new clothes/shoes/bag/book recycling place having dropped off her too-small trainers
In the boiling afternoon I went out to get drinks for Tan and the kids and went to the football pitch I played on last year from where I could see our house. Why I did this I don’t really know - it’s not that interesting but it was to me - I even called Leilei at the house to come to the balcony to wave at us. He didn’t “pick up” my first call but did my second, and duly went through the kitchen to wave at us from the patio and seemed to understand why, justifying my interest a little.
Missed capturing Leilei in the window four floors down from top
By now it was so hot I wanted to know how much. I didn’t know the word for thermometer but suddenly needed to know so looked it up. But after three shops I realised it wasn’t being translated properly - they all said I needed to go to a hospital, which was probably true but not for this reason. For one of the only times here I decided to give up. It was hot and I could deal with not knowing whether it was 38 degrees or 42. Well actually I couldn’t but I didn’t want to show the kids that.
Is it wrong to find a shopping security box ticket so interesting? I don't think so...and neither do my frie...hey, where have they gone?
Going to the supermarket to look for a thermometer, the first thing you have to pass is the alcohol aisle, which I noticed had some interesting, and possibly quite appropriate, product placement
When we got home a bit later our ex-neighbours from the same floor were also there. They are selling their flat opposite ours as they now live in her place of origin (there is probably a better term for that). They’d brought us some speciality tinned meat as a present, which Tan had for lunch. They chatted for ages and she moaned that her city was the strictest in China regarding letting civil servants travel, and they weren’t allowed to leave the country under any condition. Pity, but I guess they had a choice about moving there. Otherwise civil servants still have very strict conditions under which they may visit a foreign country, for fear of not coming back and giving out state secrets I suppose. But it was refreshing in a way to hear someone complaining about the state here, not because I agree necessarily, but it’s so rare to hear. Anyway, it looks like we will have new neighbours soon.
There was no going out until guangchang time, which is becoming a good habit now, and we left at a far too early 6.30pm and Xixi skated for a full 90 mins, before they got showered and I took them both to the bar at Jiangbin Lu to meet Waterman. I managed to get them to eat a few morsels but not get them engaged in any meaningful way so gave up and took them home at 10pm. I hope eventually they’ll become more social but with this company it won’t happen for a long time. I got back to Waterman and mates and enjoyed the next hour or so before making my excuses. They were having nothing of my attempt to pay even though I’d “invited” them, and my arguing was to no avail. I guess I have to actually invite them rather than wait for one of them to tell me I’d invited them. Fair enough. Got back in time for the 11.30pm match to see Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 - that shouldn’t have happened.
Can't imagine why the kids weren't too interested in the company...
Well it was a bit of a late wake-up at 10.30, which became 11.30 after dreaming about getting the Eurostar for some weird reason. Uncle Yellow texted me at 10.30 I found to go for a meal at 12.30ish. Man I’m supposed to be working…
Anyway, I went to where we were supposed to meet, and I realised this was a re-run of our meal in 2008 - something that sticks in my mind as a particularly bonding moment with my mates and me, when we ate dog in the mid-December sun and had a really nice time. Today would be no exception, and was one of those meals when you’re expecting to go for lunch but it ends up being linner. It took me longer than it should have to get there as despite WeChat location sharing they still didn’t have all the little dirt tracks that I needed, but nothing a quick phone call couldn’t fix. I imagined the same situation 11 years ago without the language or technology but even then it worked out pretty ok in the end.
Wading out to release my bad fishing error
This time we clearly had time on our hands and I made use of it by trying to fish. I was crap. I rolled up balls of bait and stuck them onto the two hooks but as soon as they entered the water it seemed they were either eaten by clever fish or just fell off. I tried to be clever and swing my line to another place but embarrassingly got it caught in some fencing in the water that I guessed was for some other sort of fish. In the end I had to call some local bloke who waded into the water to free my line, and after thanking him I didn’t try to fish again.
A cute puppy to accompany us
Eventually we ate at 3.30pm so I’m still not sure if it was lunch. But it was lush, and we were accompanied by cute puppies and some women. I finally left at 5.30 after a decent amount of cai ma and went to meet Yang whom I’d promised earlier I would dine with. Well I’d hoped to leave at 7.30 to watch the City match but I only got to his place at nearly 7, so brought my laptop. There were two other friends and they were all drinking white alcohol with the meal but I stuck to Li Quan beer, and apologised as I opened my laptop to and asked for the wifi password in order to watch the match. The company wasn’t that amazing, and strangely, as we finished the meal we all moved on to drinking only tea for the next 45 mins or so during the second half. The others seemed to use my excuse of leaving as their excuse of doing the same at nineish, but at least we won 5-0.
Literally one my best memories from Pingguo
And the same place in December 2008...plus ca change...
Then I was to meet up with Yang Haiwei where it was a lot more fun and we drank with some outsiders (outside from Guangxi at least), and I didn’t get home till pretty late but was at least able to watch the Spurs game.
Up at a more appropriate 9.30 and lingered in bed. Despite work I took the kids to lunch at the Yumi tang place. Then back for more work until 7 when I took them to the Muslim place for dinner as they didn’t want to go with Tan to eat zhou. I always feel embarrassed eating here (and most places actually) - I don’t want to order too much and not eat it, but if I order just enough for the kids and me I feel like I’m being mean. I just can’t win in this situation. The only way I could be comfortable is if the kids would eat a lot more, but then I’d just worry about them getting obese, though this is a million miles away thankfully. I think some people almost force themselves to worry about every situation. I’m more 30-40% of situations so relatively sane. The way I look at situations is to imagine I’d made a different choice and see how I would be regretting that. Like if you arrive late at the airport you worry about missing the plane, but if you arrive too early you worry about having to wait ages before you can check you bag in, and that you may get too hungry before the lounge and buy something to eat. Literally first world problems though. But still as we eliminate the third world (I think we will) we may soon have to consider these ones. Bulimia is, I consider, a first world problem, but despite this it affects a few people really seriously. Once everyone’s mouth is fed we may have to start really looking at mental issues like this. I don’t imagine bulimia occurs much in drought-ridden regions.
Eating at the nice Muslim place
Anyway after ordering not enough and still not finishing it (a double whammy) we went home to get water and Leilei’s skateboard then on to the guangchang for what is becoming a nightly skating session. We also met some 15 year old girl who’d been talking to my kids and now was talking to me. It was slightly surreal as she wanted to keep talking (in Chinese) and also said she was a great fan of talking. I didn’t know how to react other than continue talking with her.
But Wenliang arrived and shouted out “Duoming!” and came to my rescue. He’d had a couple of beers for tea and decided we needed to go to walk it off so I let the kids know and we walked a lap or so of the guangchang. He is still the person I understand most here, mainly because he isn’t from here and also has worked abroad, though doesn’t speak a word of English. So it was an enjoyable conversation before bringing the kids back for showers and sleeps.
Well unlike what he said yesterday Haiwei didn’t contact me for a meal or drink, but instead later at 12:30 Zhang Hongping called me to go for a beer and I thought why not? I was glad I did as we had a good catch-up session until 2.40am when I decided it was appropriate to leave as I was due to be going out midday tomorrow.
Oh no...it was back to 5.30am wake up again. Try as I might I didn’t get back to sleep, even after some Jetpunk quizzes, so after a quick chat with Andge I made the decision to go for a slow jog as I knew I probably wouldn’t regret it. Half an hour and nearly 4k later I did start to almost regret the decision as I slowed to a walk; I just didn’t quite feel up to continuing but forced myself to slow-jog the last 500m.
Some sort of rules for the guangchang that I need to learn
I decided to lunch at Luwen’s place with the kids and we had the only offering they really have: beef with noodles except they differentiate between noodle noodles and rice noodles, at least as far as I understand. As well as not allowing me to pay he also insisted on having a couple of beers. As I’d been awake over seven hours I somehow justified it in my tiredness, then took Xixi to buy some pencils before going home for a well-earned sleep.
Noodly lunch at Luwen's
Then it was up for the usual work routine until guangchang time though only for 30 minutes this time, where I left the kids to themselves. By the time I got back I found Leilei exchanging WeChat details with some girls with skateboards and I was slightly jealous but also a bit proud. This could have been me 20 years ago, minus the skateboard or good looks, oh, and mobile phone.
Leilei adding some contacts
Apparently I’d agreed to meet Uncle Yellow at 9.45 so duly did but I also had an arrangement with Yang Haiwei at 10.30ish at my local bar 3000 Degrees. We only had about four beers, and Haiwei didn’t seem to be his usual self. Then, quite unannounced (though why you would announce this I don’t know), he showed me a video of his elder brother just a few months ago before he died of cancer earlier this year. It was a really harrowing experience as a previously fairly well-built man with whom I’d cai ma’d on various occasions, had turned into but skin and bones and a horrid orange colour. He was sitting up on what was probably his deathbed, smoking a cigarette in what I expected was some intention to make the inevitable come quicker. I couldn’t imagine keeping such a video on my phone let alone seeing it again. I just don’t deal well with such matters. In a sort of attempt to make the situation a bit lighter I mentioned Waipo’s passing a few months ago, but it didn’t really lift the mood. Maybe by showing me he was trying to say something else, or confide something. I may never know but if anything it may have brought us closer together.
When we left he said he’d invite me out tomorrow evening after work, and I thanked him and had another relatively early night.
Got up at 9.30 in good time for the trip to Bangxu, then heard Tan swearing and having a go at Er Jie because her and Lao He were waiting for us in the car downstairs even though yesterday they said they’d wait for Tan to call her. Ha! I’ve had this all my time in Pingguo and I’m surprised she’s surprised. Of course she wanted us all to rush but I needed a shower, even if I didn’t grab a shave. I sorted out my laptop and everything I might need for work as the kids called the lift, but as soon as I got in the car I found I’d forgotten my charging cable and I doubted Bangxu would have a USB-C one. So to Tan’s undelight I said I'd have to go and get it and she said not to go to Bangxu at all then. I disagreed so ran off in the burning 10.15am sun to get my cable and when I rushed back I found Lao He in the shop calmly getting some food for the one hour journey - so much for my rush. And is that the only word in English ending “lmly”?
At least he’s a pretty safe driver, and the drive was a lush view of the Guangxi countryside over the next 70 minutes. Upon arrival it was a matter of walking round various houses over the next 90 minutes or so. I ended up in one house where the occupents were putting stickers on alcohol bottles, then boxing them. I sat down to join in and to my surprise they positively welcomed me to do so. What I thought would be five minutes work was over 45 in the end until we finished labelling and boxing every single bottle, but I was really happy to have helped out.
Arriving in Bangxu
Goats keeping an eye on the cooking
Labelling bottles of alcohol
Leilei helping to set up the remembrance stuff
And Xixi pouring alcohol for dead relatives
For some reason we went for a walk in some water before we ate
Leilei insisted on driving us to the cave
Eventually the time to eat arrived. It was another of those times where I thought we were going for lunch but it ended up being more linner. The food was good and far too copious, as was the drink. I stuck to beer, unlike many of the locals who still hold the local tradition of drinking white alcohol from a bowl, though now sharing from the same bowl is apparently frowned upon due to hygiene reasons. But my teeth were not good. Somehow during the first week or so here the meat has pushed them around a fair bit and it’s quite uncomfortable to eat stuff that’s not that soft. But beer doesn’t cause an issue and a good deal of cai ma ensued, during which I did particularly well and enjoyed talking to the locals including an ex-pilot with whom for some reason I had a conversation about turbulence.
My table for the meal - ex-pilot is in the red opposite
Was a bit more than just a family meal
Cai ma at the family meal
Work was basically out of the equation, and I would have to take a holiday but no regrets as this was quite an important day in terms of the family, and to some extent Waipo’s memory. We left before 5pm and got back to Pingguo at 6, dozing a fair amount of the journey. I could have done with going to bed but the kids really wanted to go to the guangchang to skate and I wasn’t going to impede them so at 8.19pm I took them out. Leilei went back himself for a shower after skateboarding, so I took Xixi to go shopping until most of the shops closed at 10.30, at which time we went for an MMT and then to Huang’s Beihai place for a lovely bite to eat and chat as he wasn’t that pissed or racist. Home finally was a not too late 11.47 where I got Xixi to shower and a few moments later collapsed in bed exhausted.
Tan took the kids to Jiuma’s at 10:30 and with the quiet I got back to sleep and awake at gone midday to see a text saying that the kids were doing the burning of the money for Waipo’s memorial. I was sad and annoyed to have missed it but came over straight after a shower just in time for a meal. I sat at a blokes table and as much as didn’t want it I had to drink beer. I stomached it for an hour before taking the kids back and nearly dozing off for an hour while I lay it off. We were told there was to be a family reunion meal in Bangxu tomorrow and at first I said I couldn’t go due to work but I thought better of it as this could be the last time for a long while and family first etc.
Kids eating at the kids and ladies table
RIP Waipo - now back with your husband
Luwen rang me to say he’d be in his shop with some duck made by his mate that we drank with last night and sure enough 10 minutes later I popped round and there it was. Fortuitously it was teatime so it was fitting for the kids too and we all sat down to eat it before going to the guangchang at 7.30 as promised and Xixi went roller-skating again. We met Er Jie and the bloke Lao He from earlier who I’m guessing is her bloke but not keen on asking, and she confirmed about going to Bangxu tomorrow. Later I checked with Tan what time and she says we’ll be leaving between 10-11am. That sounds rather exact but could mean anything.
Random English words and gobbledegook on Xixi's tee-shirt
One way to get the kids to eat up
I don't know why they can't just write "non-recyclable"
Leilei managed to hop up a curb for the first time
I should have gone to bed early but for some reason I ended up at a KTV place around 11pm for a while and after that couldn't sleep so bought one ETH at 3.30am as if that was some sort of excuse.
A day of work but managed lunch at Luwen’s where he’s still refusing to take any payment, and he told me to come back at 8pm for a drink. That was a little early in terms of work but sod it at 8.30 I took the kids over but they were as bored as one might expect so I let them stay at home at 9.30 as Tan was out. How Luwen can afford the amount of bbq he brought is a question I should have given up trying to ask but I can’t help myself even though I know the answer will not be forthcoming in the near future.
By midnight I was back and tucking in the kids, after which I went for a short ride to see if Huang was about but his restaurant was closed. It’s a far cry from 2008 when I used to go out at 1am and he’d always be there to greet me. Fair enough though he now has a proper restaurant that opens I guess at 5.30pm plus a wife who is now pregnant thanks to the new laws about being able to have two kids. Almost every mother I know here has a second child now or one in the oven.
I thought Tan and the kids might be home by now so after little siesta, at 6pm I looked up some bloke who claimed to be a mate and had pinged me on WeChat a few days before we left London. I had told him I’d contact him when in Pingguo so thought I should be true to my word, so asked him if he had eaten yet as you do. Within a few seconds he’d answered to say he was eating but before I’d finished reading this I saw I was receiving a video call. I was naked but didn’t want to offend him by not answering (or “picking up” as the kids now say - although interestingly picking up is what we used to do with those bakelite phones that these kids have probably never seen the likes of). I managed to tip the phone so only my head was exposed, and he showed me he was with some mates eating and drinking and would show me where so I could come around. I was actually quite grateful as hadn’t eaten more than a portion of jiao zi for lunch, so hopped on the bike to this new area I hadn’t been to before and within minutes was in the mayhem of a bloke meal, with cold red wine thrust upon me (even though on meeting me he recalled I drink beer rather than wine), and then minutes later two women arrived.
To be honest I didn’t recognise anyone, but didn’t tell them. I concluded we’d last met two years ago, and that turned out to be correct, phew. Then the ladies left, and I asked the bloke opposite me why his red wine was a different colour to mine. It turned out it was bilberry alcohol, and he bade me taste it. Well it wasn’t as bad as normal bai jiu is, and I let him know, which turned out in his eyes to mean I wanted a whole glassful, and so he duly poured one full glass.
Then he got a video call from a mate who was in a car - now this one I did somewhat recognise. He was on his way to Pingguo apparently and we had a quick video chat until I told him I couldn’t hear. Then Chen texted to say he was eating and that I should come around, so I said I would in a “while”, which was ok apparently. A short while later I explained I needed to go somewhere, and although this was apparently understood, as I’d finished explaining, the bloke I’d just videocalled from his car turned up with two boxes of beer. Ah...I’d not understood he was turning up in person, and the beers were no doubt for me, so of course I sat down and helped him share them. But of course beer meant cai ma, which for once I did really well at, and of course was video’d so anyone in Pingguo (or Li Jiang) who cares will know.
It wasn’t too hard to make my excuses 20 minutes later, but I had to do a photoshoot with the guys first of all. Back on the bike to the restaurant where Chen was I wondered for the umpteenth time why they don’t ask a little earlier if you want to eat. But I know I shouldn’t - just go with the flow as it’s not like it’s negatively affecting me. The previous meal did not have a great deal I liked, so I was still a little peckish, and this new place had plenty of stuff. I didn’t know anyone other than Chen, but that soon changed after some beers were poured and cai ma started. It was another fun meal, but I had to make my excuses by 9.30pm as the Community Shield was starting at 10, and they seemed to understand.
Lovely meal with Chen
I had a great stream for the first hour, where we played well, but missed most of the rest of the game, including the penalties, but I’ll take that result. Hoping against much hope that Sane will stay as I think he’s become our best player but there’s no space for someone who doesn’t want to be there 100%. Due to the previous meals I only had one beer with the first half and put the other in the freezer to cool down for later. After the match I took the laptop to bed to read the news but for some reason fell asleep soon after 1am.
I got up at a leisurely 9.30, then it sort of turned to 11.30, at which time I turned to work until lunch called. As I didn’t want to waste time I went across the road to Luwen’s but the only “beef” he had was hard offcuts of gristle but I was sort of obliged to eat it anyway, not least because he refuses to charge me anything, but damn it was ghastly and I left most of it. I worked till it was time to go for a massage in an attempt to ease my nerve (literally sciatic nerve). I realised I’d really only eaten two brown eggs all day so when advertising friend invited to go and eat bbq I said I’d happily go a bit later. The massage was actually mostly painful and the woman kept on telling me to relax and as much as I tried I didn’t really succeed - and she kept telling me she was being light.
At least the last few days have seen the rain take the edge off the heat, even if it has made driving the dian dong che a bit harder. But despite the slight impairment to my driving I got to Lao Tong Kao Ji, where last year I had performed, and sitting outside was advertising friend along with five or six friends, who invited me to sit with cheers and arms. I was barely there 10 minutes when the table next to us but indoors bade me come over to have a quick gan bei, and I told my current table I’d be but two minutes. Actually it was closer to 10, not because of too many gan beis, but the three women at the table insisted in taking numerous selfies with me, with the others’ phones providing the light, so it was one of those sitting down with a false smile sessions until it hurt. And of course soon those pics would be shared across Pingguo...well I didn’t try to fight it, I just accept I pretty much have half of my life here beamed up for anyone to see.
I was offered milk, which I abhore, but took it as a gift anyway and hope the kids will like it
I gan bei’d with the guitar doctor (he is a doctor who plays the guitar, not makes them better) then got back to my proper table to the background noise of fairly out-of-tune karaoke and hoped they wouldn’t ask me to go up. Well after a bit they thought about it and as it was getting late I suggested we leave singing to another time when we could plan it accordingly, and they agreed, and I hoped they would forget my suggestion.
Tan and the kids were taking the train to Li Jiang at 10.30 from Pingguo, which meant I was up at 8.30 to see them off, as apparently they need to be at the station an hour beforehand. From my personal experience, at least in Pingguo, you can turn up 20 minutes before your train and do security in 2 minutes but I was not in a mood to argue. I was a bit sad not to be going with them but also aware I’d need to be doing some work and maybe catching up on some socialising.
Sadly I am still keeping track of how many kms I am getting per charge
I skipped breakfast thinking I’d do lunch at Luwen’s as I was by myself, but he was closed for some reason and I realised I’d have to do something new. I found the next closest place and realised they didn’t have what I wanted (dumplings) but felt too embarrassed, as literally no-one else would here, to leave and find somewhere else. So I ordered something, and it wasn’t that bad but rather noodly, and the women at the other table spoke a little English to me. I wish I could change this. It’s not that I don’t like it (I don’t, but that’s my problem), it’s just it is almost without exception that the females less doted with physical beauty speak foreign languages better. And of course it’s not just here, but everywhere. I like to think of myself as being ok (for a Brit) at other languages, but I’d hate to think that meant I was worse looking than I am, but I guess the stats say otherwise.
Work took up the rest of the afternoon and I had no excuse as I was by myself. Yesterday I should have gone to meet Zhang Hua for the first time this year but work and stuff had got in the way. He had joked that he would be in the same place today and I didn’t think he would be but pinged him anyway. He said indeed he was going to the same place at 6pm, so I managed a 10 minute sleep and forced myself to get up to go soon after 6.
I’m really glad I did, and he was happy I came too. There were some football mates of his that came and after 20 minutes we had a full table comprising all blokes plus one woman as is often the case. They didn’t all know each other and the bloke to my left introduced himself as “Peng Dehuai de Peng”, meaning he had the same family name as a famous army general from the past. But that was how I was used to introducing myself. I thought for a moment, and wondered if he was actually introducing me, but by the way he was gan bei’ing with them he clearly wasn’t. So I asked him to repeat his surname, and when I was sure it was him I told him I was also “Peng Dehuai de Peng” and the whole place burst into laughter and applause. This was only the second Peng I’d met in the mainland, and the last was 10 years ago or so. Obviously this called for some sort of celebration, and although I was taking it really slowly on the beer as I had to get back to work, a few more gan bei’s were had to celebrate our mutual surname. I’m trying to think of what an equivalent surname would be in the UK. Something heard of, but definitely not common...like Burley maybe?
Cool meal with Zhang Hua (bottom left in blue) and mates
Anyway I did go pretty easy on the beer but soon after I got home Li Kun called me to say he had my guitar cover and that we were to go to his mate’s camping shop to buy discounted clothes. At least that’s what I understood. Even after 16 years I still find I misunderstand things more than I would like, but as he’d gone to the effort of getting the case I couldn’t not go, despite not having really done enough work. He turned up a few minutes later and I brought my new guitar down to make sure it fitted. It did - snug as a bug. Then I was whisked off, guitar in back of car, to his mate’s camping shop. I performed an in-memory fist pump as I realised I had understood our earlier conversation 100%. Indeed he was having a sale, if indeed there was absolutely no advertising about this fact.
I was a bit worried I’d be “forced” to buy stuff I didn’t want but in fact I found some really good stuff: a tee-shirt that was XXL yet still only just big enough, a pair of perfect zip-off trousers that were so light you barely knew you were wearing them (I’m so gutted I spent 35 quid on a heavy pair from Amazon last month), a pair of the lightest trainers imaginable, and a foldable cap I’d wanted since I saw Li Kun’s last week. All for about 200 kuai, which was a good 70% off the marked prices that I wouldn’t have paid anyway. All in all a good 20 minutes’ buying experience. Li Kun bought much more, and kept saying the prices were “loose change”, which is a very relative concept.
Bargain hunting at the camping shop
Li Kun's charming daughters
Eventually I got back home at 9ish to continue work, until I decided enough was enough; last year I was travelling around the globe and didn’t get much chance to chill, so I took advantage of my base now being Paris instead of London and the extra hour closer and finished at 10pm. I nipped out to get some bbq as a little treat but bumped into two blokes just outside our block. They invited me to eat with them and although my reaction was not to I thought “why not?” and as soon as I sat down one of them went to the fridge and brought out four new “Shuang Pi” Li Quan beer bottles. This was a new one for me and although I was told they were new and expensive I couldn’t tell the difference and they were still 2.8%, so ok for me.
I also found a bit of time to practise Bleecker Street, which has recently become a bit of a favourite of mine
It was very enjoyable to sit with them for 40 minutes or so, partly because of the randomness of it, or rather the unexpectedness. I insisted on actually buying six beers from them just to allow them something back from what they’d given me, and at least they allowed me to pay for them. Back home a minute later I thought I was knackered but still didn’t sleep till 4am...is jetlag still an excuse?
Up at 10ish to the sounds of literally bumping and grinding. Oh no was the A/C broken again? After a few minutes I realised this was not air-con gone wrong but the unmistakeable sounds of next doors doing up their house, and in this case it sounded like next doors were upstairs, not something we’d consider next doors in the UK. Well I suppose there is nothing I could do about it...possibly people had already moved in below us when we started doing the same thing 10 years ago. But it could go on all summer...lordy.
So earlier than expected, and before Tan got the chance to order crappy DFC, I took the kids to eat yumi tang and egg-fried rice. To my shame we’ve ordered the same meal here for two years solid, but at least they mostly finish it and it’s sort of healthy. And it’s always the same 30 kuai so we know it’s basically 3.50 for eating out decently at the cost of a dian dong che ride in the searing sun that we’ll actually miss in one month.
But on the way back it was the hottest it’s been for a good while...there were few people on the streets in vehicles without shade or A/C, and when we stopped at red lights to turn left and found out it would be 80 seconds till we could I was a bit naughty and turned a sharper left to mount the pavement and get home that way just to avoid the sun. The kids appreciated it although I told them there had to be a good reason to break rules.
But there was to be no siesta; the kids were too awake and Xixi had showed interest in the guitar, and given we now had two, I said we should go and find new strings to replace the old ones that must be around three years old now and sound horrid. It was more a journey to be with the kids; I knew we’d find somewhere eventually, and after some stopping in shade we found a music shop on the corner of a road not too far from home, but they wanted 35 kuai for a set. Of course I wasn’t going to argue but had I known I could have bought a better set from home over: note - next year bring guitar strings over.
While we were out we also got a replacement phone cover for Xixi’s phone for 15 kuai, and got a quote for a replacement battery for 80 kuai, which in retrospect we should have gone for as the current one is bulging...having said that the last non-official one we got in London bulged so much as to deform her last phone….
Uncle Yellow texted me in the evening to see if I was free. I then found out it was him yesterday texting me, not Li Kun - I felt like a right tit when I realised I’d sent him a photo of my new guitar yesterday attestifying my love for it, thinking I was writing to Li Kun. Anyway I was free and needed to be there at 6.30. Xixi was out with Tan so I took Leilei and met up with Boss Zhou and then various other people turned up during the course of the meal. I took Leilei back after 8 as he was rather bored then somehow came back and continued eating and drinking till gone 1am. Two of the women there, it turned out, were after foreign husbands, around 50 years old! So exact...I told them I’d look out for them and they genuinely seemed appreciative! Jeepers I hope they don’t hold me to it.
Uncle Yellow and Boss Zhou - really good mates
The cat that was a kitten last year has really become quite sassy
Got back at nearly 3am after a very enjoyable night meeting new people and after having made sure the kids were asleep. Hope to get a lie-in tomorrow.
Up at 10.30 wondering if that is enough sleep to go without an wu shui. However, it appeared that we had all been invited to one of Tan’s ex-colleagues at 1.30 who lives just a little south of Pingguo.... Haiwei also called to invite me for an evening meal and said he’d call back at 5pm with the details, so no likelihood of an wu shui then.
But 1.30 turned to 2pm and we got to the house nearer half past. I started to doubt we were having lunch and my fears were confirmed when I was told we were to drink tea with some more ex-colleagues. I should have guessed it wasn’t going to be lunch - no-one arranges lunch at 1.30 or later. So I texted Haiwei and gave him the honest reason I wouldn’t be available at 5 and he seemed to understand - I’d ping him when I could.
We picked what I thought was a massive pear but apparently it was "just" a grapefruit
I went out for a walk by myself and found a place where I bought some little meaty snacks as I hadn’t eaten all day, before the heat forced me back to find shade. They were busy cooking upstairs and it seems I wasn’t the only hungry one as others were picking on the rooster balls before we finally sat down to eat at 4pm, which if this was an evening meal was rather early - linner? Lupper?
One of three transformers I met on my walk
I suppose it was a mini-reunion meal and there were around 10 of us and wine was forced upon me as apparently there was no beer. After an hour or so it typical style more people arrived and others dropped off. Then a bloke arrived with a box of beer so I had something more palatable to sip on, except sipping wasn’t an option.
For the first time ever I found a sauna in Pingguo - what? The whole place is basically a sauna 80% of the year
Waiting for the meal to be ready from outside the sauna
One of multiple plates of rooster balls, or would it be more appropriate to say cockerel balls?
It was a lovely meal though, especially the company
I had explained my prior engagement with a friend at 5pm and they said they’d take me there “very soon”. As it was of course I was obliged to participate in multiple gan bei’s before they let me leave and some non-drinking bloke gave me a lift to where he was at 6.30. It wasn’t his own house, and it wasn’t his mother’s house, but his wife and younger son were there so it must have been legit. Haiwei made me talk to his older son to come around and speak English but for some reason he was adamant that he wouldn’t come. I didn’t quite get the reason and although slightly happy I didn’t have to speak English, was also slightly concerned. Anyway, Li Kun called me to say my tee-shirt from yesterday’s picture was ready so I went home with an excuse and picked up Xixi to go there in the dian dong che to pick it up with her. I didn’t mention it looked rather like a New Zealand top. I appreciated it but had to leave to be with the kids for the evening.
Later, Li Kun IM’d me to see if I had time to meet up but I was still with the kids so had to decline, but I sent him that picture of my new guitar and told him I loved it! I did make the effort to meet a friend to drink tea though to counteract the beer, and afterwards I was really tempted to go for another massage but I soberly realised it was rather late and should get back. That didn’t stop me chatting with Awl till 4am though….
Oh it was horrid without A/C. I woke up early but still managed a bit more dripping sleep.
Tan called a bloke about electricity and he said he’d come at 12.10 which was in 20 mins so I stayed in rather than go to get lunch, which was horrible DFC delivered for the kids as Tan was about to go out.
The electric bloke arrived and quickly determined that one of the electric switches was not working as it was too hot. He removed the surrounding plastic of the main fuse box to expose a load of wires but didn’t turn off the mains (if that was even an option). Then he tested all the main switches and did some other tests before stating that something was wrong with the water heater. He left, then came back 15 mins later, Tan was by this time gone so I was all by my own trying to understand something quite important. He showed me that when he stuck one end of a voltmeter(?) In the socket and one on a tap there was virtually nothing but when he stuck the other end on the actual water boiler it went to 256 (volts?). Then he said it was dangerous and we shouldn’t take a shower near it when it’s on yi fan wan yi (just in case). Then he said something about safety first, which I understood and appreciated, but was still mindful about his working with the mains without turning them off first.
The one on the left was buggered apparently...cost us three nights' sleep without A/C and saved us probably a quid of leccy
Disgusting DFC again - I will not touch it
As we were talking he mentioned something about Yang Shuo and Guilin, and I belatedly realised he’d turned the conversation to where to visit on holiday, which was slightly weird. Anyway the work cost 80 kuai and I gave him 100 and he tried to send me the change via WeChat, and although I told him it wouldn’t work he insisted. So now I have a useless red envelope that will expire soon. I have read that it’s possible to get a Chinese bank account on a tourist visa - it’s just that it may take several attempts. I should at least give it a go, then I could pay like a local.
So, with a semi-fix for the electricity we now were able to turn on three or more A/C units at a time but we should not leave the water boiler on when it was not necessary...well we could live with that.
Next I planned to take the kids to meet up with Li Kun. I’d decided I wanted to upgrade my rather crappy guitar I’d had for nearly 11 years here so went to the guitar teacher’s place by the stadium we’d gone to on our first day here.
Li Kun insisted on giving us a lift in his white 4x4 though, which given the now searing heat actually seemed like a better idea. We broke into a sweat just walking to his car, and from it to the guitar place. Once there he brought out a selection of guitars as if he owned the place and gave them to me one at a time, as if I could actually value them in a glance. I did make the time to tune them up and pluck a little, but didn’t have enough of it to check each fret for each string. He told me this one was 2600 kuai and it was really good and I told him I was here for a few weeks each year and wasn’t going to frivolously spend £300 just like that. The last one he brought out was a dark shade of green, but it played nicely and the action wasn’t too high unlike some of the others. I took a bit of a liking to it despite its colour, then when he told me it was 680 kuai I pretty much made my decision on the spot. It had the hole for an amp, which I’d been told was necessary (did that mean I was expected to play??) and it just felt and sounded nice.
I told him I wanted the green one and I had the slight feeling he would have preferred me to take the expensive one, but I explained what I saved could go towards other things, and I think he got it. It was a Chinese brand hence the price but I think they all were really. Next he got out a cable and plugged me into an amp and then shoved a microphone in front of my gob. I wouldn’t have minded late at night after a few beers but we’d just barged in the guitar teacher’s shop and disturbed him teaching three young students, and now I had to perform. Well I couldn’t not really, so grabbed a capo (which was included in the price) and banged out Sounds of Silence for the first time soberly in front of people in Pingguo - and they seemed to appreciate it as they asked for more…. So I thought I’d give my fingers a bigger test and let out a couple of verses of Bleecker Street, which guitar teacher appeared to appreciate more than Li Kun as it is rather more complicated than SoS. Li Kun managed to arrange a new case for the guitar as well, but it would be delivered in a couple of days so I took an old one for the purposes of getting it home.
But we didn’t go straight home. For some reason I’d told Li Kun I missed playing the piano, which is very true when I come here even though in previous years I’ve managed to find piano schools and have a little practice now and again. So now, keeping in the musical theme, and rather to the chagrin of the kids, he drove us to the music shop of the keyboard player of his band. Once there I was tempted to have a go on the electric piano, but he seemed to think I would prefer the real piano. Most times I would have done but Pingguo pianos have never been in tune in my experience. In this case it was certainly not in tune but so much better than any other one. I went through some of my Scott Joplin repertoire, knowing full well that no-one had heard any before, and got polite applause from all except my kids, who had started bashing about on the electric piano rather rudely.
I liked it more than I showed...gosh if I lived here I'd definitely get an electric one to wile away the evenings that I wasn't out
My lovely new guitar with my old one which has served me well over the last 11 years (the clothing in the background is the teeshirt Li Kun's group wears - it's as if I'm a semi-member)
Well, it had been a productive afternoon for me, but not so much for the kids, so when we got back I forced Leilei to do some maths homework that he really didn’t want to, and as I had two guitars now, helped Xixi to learn G, C, and D chords on the old one. To be fair she did ok, having had her callouses developed by violin playing over the last couple of years, though it was a bit of a stretch, being full-sized. She took it away and practised in her room, and I didn’t try to force it too much. If you want to learn a musical instrument that’s the point - it should be because you want to. I would be ok with her stopping the violin if she really put an effort into another instrument.
As teatime came around we were rather lazy as Tan was out so I made the kids convenient noodles. I suppose we would call them instant noodles but I prefer the literal translation. I didn’t have any though as I’ve had enough carbs from weak beer, but I realised I’d had no lunch either so I forced myself to have a couple of really light, salty biscuits, the size of those rich tea fingers, before we went to the guangchang again but this time at 7.15pm when it was still quite light.
We went to the basketball area first for Leilei to try out the ball we got him the other day and he was sort of forced to join in with a couple of other people as there were only two hoops, then 20 minutes later we were back at the rollerskating area and Xixi had another 5 kuai to spend on hiring a pair. This time Leilei had brought his skateboard, that he’d brought from UK, so they were both on wheels for a good hour or so and I learnt two new words - liu bing for roller skates, and hua ban for skateboard.
While they were skating I got an IM from a contact in WeChat, but wasn’t really sure who they were. They said they’d invite me to eat in a few days. Fair enough - that seemed jolly nice and I responded as such. Then a couple of minutes later I got a video call to go for a drink with them and some colleagues now. It was a woman who was apparently an ex-colleague of Tan’s and I guess we’d met a year or so ago. I told them I was with the kids and I’d be an hour or so and that seemed ok.
At about 9pm we went straight from the guangchang to the location they’d sent on WeChat. Sometimes locations are not that accurate and indeed this was one of those cases. So when we were off the bike I called them and within a minute someone was outside shouting to us to come over. It appeared that it was a woman from Bangxu with about 14 other friends, mostly other women. As the three of us entered we received a cheer - just for being white (or half-white), which is a bit like positive racism. I guess being on the receiving end of that is literally the opposite of being on the receiving end of “normal” racism.
They proceeded to order food we didn’t want, and beer I did, as the alternative was red wine. The main bloke of the party then stood up and sang a song and which made everyone laugh (except for my kids), and all in all it was a very jovial time. Very random, very silly, and very funny, especially when I gave them my well-rehearsed one-liner - “I fear nothing in the sky, nothing on the ground, I only fear my wife speaking Bangxu language” which put them in fits of laughter. I’ll probably never understand 100% why it’s so funny….
This bloke was the life and soul of the party
We had to make our excuses and leave by around 9.45pm as Haiwei had invited me to his office to talk with his eldest son in English, but I first left Leilei at home as he was tired. Xixi though was hungry and wanted jiu gui yumi, which is a lovely fried sweetcorn dish, so we took the bike to Zhou Laoban’s place, where we bumped into him and some mates having a meal so I was obliged to have a couple of glasses while they did the yumi. Then on the way back we bumped into Zhang Hongping, whom I hadn’t seen for years so gave him a hug, and told him to call my phone so we could meet up soon. I honestly thought he had died six or seven years ago as contact had stopped abruptly between us. Then I finally got Xixi home and left her as Tan was back, and finally went for for a couple of beers with Haiwei, strangely drunken out of champagne glasses, and I think he was happy as I did speak with his son in English for a while.
Back home I should have slept but for the same reason that always happens here I didn’t. 5am swung around and I decided sod it I’d stay up till 6 and go for a jog, but that was the last conscious thought I had.
