Driving A Wu's Sailor

Finally a day of rest. Up lateish and didn't really fancy much lunch so popped out at 1pm to get a couple of small portions of rice wrapped in vine leaves again. Then I remembered I needed a haircut so I drove to Lu Hai's place and got it done. He told me that he was going to the seafood place tonight at 10pm and to meet him there for some succulent raw fish, so I said I would.

I didn't want to waste more of the day than I already had so I leapt on the bike and rode around for a few minutes before thinking "I need a head wash". I thought I'd invite A Wu to go for one too so rang him and he said to go to his new office on the other side of town. Of course things didn't transpire in the order I had planned, but it was Saturday and so ok.

I found his office with no problem, and parked the now dirty bike around the back at the car wash business that is the ground floor of his work. A Ni was there and noticed that the bike (her bike) was quite filthy and said we should get it washed. Fair enough, so I did. We then went to one of the head wash places I really like, but as we settled down for our decadency A Wu noticed that there was no air conditioning. Despite the fact that it wasn't oppressively hot, he steadfastly refused to stay, and so we moved on. I felt a bit bad, but not as bad as the employees there, but it wasn't as if it was their fault. Anyway we drove up 100 yards to a place on the other side of the road where they had electricity and had a sumptious hour making me wonder why we ever go back home. 20 kuai for the expensive shampoo and an hour's delight.

We then went back to A Wu's new office and I was introduced to the pick-up truck that A Wu had bought not three months ago. It was a Chinese dark green affair, branded "Sailor", which seemed slightly inappropriate. However, it was not a bad machine; two rows of seats and decent space at the back for moving stuff around, such as the futon that he'd just bought to go in his office. Additionally, in a move similar to many English and probably American car owners with a little too much extra cash, he had the numberplate "AWU655" - nice touch. ("Wu" also sounds like the number 5, hence the last four digits of his mobile are 5).

We were to go to his work, and he said I could drive his pick-up, maybe because I'd complimented it. Well it was nice to drive a manual vehicle in China for the first time. It was a noisy diesel, but had a bit of power and the gears were well spaced (not too tractor-like). I drove the ten minutes to his work place and only when I tried to drive up the loose-stoned road to his mountain did I discover that it was only rear-wheeled drive and not 4x4. It took a couple of reversing manoeuvres but I managed to get my Sailor up the hill and into A Wu's work. We stayed there for over an hour as he talked to his workers and took the day's takings from his older brother who I think now works there. It's hard to work out exactly how much is made per day/month as I don't hear about tax. But it looks like he can get from 10k to 50k kuai a day depending on what company is buying what type of stone from him. Typically I think it's 10k, and then he has to pay the workers. Again, it's hard to know exactly but drivers seem to get 2000 kuai per month and the digger drivers 2500. There are indubitably more people on the payroll but I get the impression the wages are good compared to other labourers, but a smaller fraction of the profits than perhaps elsewhere. You do have to counter that with the fact that if it rains for a day there is no work - people still get paid but you can't crush the stones for some reason. I did ask about the logistics of putting a cover over the whole plant but it would cost a bomb and probably blow away as soon as a big wind came. Speaking of which the wind had started blowing and precipitation looked not far away.


A Wu and his Sailor - note the numberplate

After more conversations, and a dry game of cai ma I played with one of the workers (another of whom drank the white alcohol when I lost), we finally got back in the pick-up and headed back to Pingguo. I'd told A Wu about the "Shui Shang Ren Jia" restaurant I'd visited last weekend with Xixi and we decided to have a look there. As I parked the car he rang some government official and found that he happened to be there just at that time. For some reason he was embarrassed and we walked around the outside of the place for five minutes before actually entering, why I will probably never know. But when we did enter we found a group of ten or so men sitting around the table that Xixi and I had taken pictures at last week. Most of the food had gone, as had a couple of dozen beer bottles. But as soon as they saw us (me?) they ordered fresh bowls and glasses and we ate and drank more than good men should in the two hours we spent there. One of the blokes was particularly half-cut. I found out he was the main government official of a town just outside Bangxu, but was here with his son. What irked me was that despite his level of inebriation he beat me at cai ma. In fact others did too so I had to call timeout as the fizz was getting to me. We managed to leave at around 9pm.

A Wu had had some beers too, so let me drive his pick-up to our house, which I did impeccably at a slow pace. At 10.15pm I got a call from Lu Hai asking where I was and I said I'd be at the seafood place in 5 mins. When I arrived 10 minutes later he was just arriving himself. Oh, the food was very good...lots of raw fish that you dip in a vinegarry, oily sauce, and add peanuts too. Glad I didn't eat too much at the other place. A Wu made his excuses and left after half an hour, but there were plenty of friends, and the owner and boss, to keep us company till the early hours. I went home knackered, but happy to have had a day of leisure.

Rude awakenings from the guang chang

At 4am I still couldn't sleep, so I decided as I'd paid for it, and it was comfortable, that I'd go back to the hotel in case the electricity went again in a couple of hours. So much for that idea. When I got there shortly after 4am I was peckish and asked for a bite to eat but was told there was nothing. I'd just driven past some outdoor bbq places where there were still a few tables filled with late night eaters/drinkers but I couldn't be bothered being asked to drink at that time, so I accepted a bottle of water and thought about the good it would do my expanding belly. Actually it was not so bad that I came back as I'd left all my toiletries there. Although I got to sleep soon after 4am, I hadn't counted on the noise emanating from the guang chang area come 8am. Thumping bass leapt through the single glazing and punched my ears to let me know that four hours' sleep was all I was to be allotted yet again. I groggily looked out of the window to find that it appeared to be a new shop opening rather than the guang chang making this offensive racket. That is not the sort of thing that makes me want to shop there.

So I though "bollocks", packed my stuff (properly this time, including toiletries) and checked out. I remembered that there might be police around and put my helmet on in the humid heat and picked up a few breakfast buns and a couple of cups of soya drink for the kids before getting home. I found that the kids and Tan had just woken up and were ready to eat so it was a good time to get home. But I still had work to do so I settled down to that for around three hours as Tan took the kids out. Come 1pm I was really tired. Even though I wasn't particulary hungry I went to one of my local eateries, where I normally get the chang fen, but this time asked for a couple of vine leaves wrapped around rice containing some animal fat. They were actually quite nice, and I ate them as I hoped they would help me sleep. Also I bought a can of beer for that purpose. Later at home I had another beer and was ready for a siesta not long later that took me from 2.30 to 5pm - much needed.

Lots of work until 10pm when the electricity went again while I was talking to Boss Yang who was trying to invite me somewhere. I don't know why the electricity going would cut our call but it seemed to. I sorted out torches and candles with Tan, and made sure she was ok with the kids before Yang gave me a ring again and said he was coming to pick me up. Well I was happy with that - family asleep and work nearly finished after another very long week. Although he picked me up in his car, we only drove 100 yards to No. 5 cafe that was also sans electricite to pick up Boss Bi, who is also a regular fixture at our gatherings. Then we drove back to our house where we got out and went to the seafood place I have been frequenting frequently recently.

Thanks to having set up internet on my phone I was able to chat with colleagues at work to explain the lack of electricity and give them an update on how things were going. So once that was sorted I settled down to some seafood delights and a couple of well-deserved beers with Boss Yang and his wife, son, and various others. Normally going to the toilet takes one minute for a bloke. But this time it took half an hour as I was requested by some Bangxu bloke who knew me to sit at his table for a few minutes and have a drink with his friends. Then, once I'd made my excuses and parted from them the owner of the seafood place made me sit down with him and a couple of other mates for some more gan bei'ing. I got home at 2.30am quite full.

Staying at the hotel for electricity

I had been warned that there would be no electricity today from 5am till late at night. However it was only in our area of Pingguo and the hotel would have some, so I would go there to work. I did not actually manage to sleep at all overnight, but I was just dropping off at 6am when my body noticed it was hotter than it should have been. I looked up and realised that the air conditioning unit was no longer working. And as it was dawn it dawned on me that the electricity had gone. It wasn't so hot I couldn't sleep, but I thought I'd take advantage of being awake to go to check that Pingguo International Hotel did have leccy. Well it did, and I asked the nice ladies at reception what was the earliest time I could check in. I gathered it was midday, so I thanked them and drove back to the house and slept a couple of hours till 11am.

A Ni used to work at the Pingguo Internation Hotel, and had some friends there, so I rang her to ask if I could get a "special price". Of course I could, I just had to ask Xiao Huang. So I turned up at 12pm, dirty and smelly and ragged haired as I hadn't had a shower (the boiler at our place is electrically heated). Xiao Huang was there and had a particularly pretty and genuine smile. A Ni had already called her to arrange the room for me and I just had to present my passport and hand over the 150 kuai. 15 quid is very good as the room was very tasteful, lending a magnificent view of the guang chang, and having an interesting feature I've only ever seen in Chinese hotels: there is a clear glass separating the main room from the shower so you can ensure your loved one is washing him/herself correctly. However, in this place your loved one had the option of closing a blind to avoid your lechorous eyes.

I needed a bite to eat, so I thought I'd step out and find a local place. As the hotel is very close to Boss Yang's office, I popped inside to see if he wanted to join me. Unwise move if you only fancy a quick bite. I found him and other bosses in another boss's room drinking tea. They bade me sit down and share a couple of glasses of "pu er cha" and I didn't resist, except to say that I would only have a couple as I needed to have a bite to eat, get back and shower and have a siesta. Well it transpired it was 12.30pm so they all decided it was time to eat. We got in a couple of cars; four bosses, and a lady, and drove a roundabout route to go to a restaurant that has just opened next to the kids' school by the guang chang.

We arrived and it looked dark. Immediately we asked if there was no electricity, and the waitress turned on the lights as if to say "yes there is", although it would have been quicker to actually say "you dian ah". We asked for the biggest private room, and while sitting down, three other blokes came in who were apparently other bosses from a tree-felling company outside of Pingguo, who were involved in business with Boss Yellow. A Wu also turned up, so there were around ten of us all told. Of course, as there were new people around we had to gan bei with them a few times, and with my lack of sleep it made me a little tipsy eventually. But I was amazed to hear that apparently all the bottles of 600ml Qingdao beers were 1 kuai each - a special offer that was to last a week in celebration of the new opening of the restaurant. I wasn't quite sure whether to believe it or not, and I thought better than to question A Wu's statement in front of his boss-friends.

The meal was actually very good in the end, though it started somewhat badly when all the bosses complained about the oily table surface - which triggered a few waitresses with tissues to start rubbing it down (that sounds like a sentence ripe for miscontruction). It was nice to speak to some Pingguo outsiders, as I could explain to them a bit about our culture and language. Weird to think I can actually do something like that now.

I left before most of the others did, citing work, and walked across the guang chang in the lovely 2pm heat. The only people I saw at this time were young couples in the early stages of romance, holding hands or sitting on a bench together. It's not very seemly to do this in public apparently, but in such heat most sane people are at home in the shade, and love doesn't make you sane. But fatigue does, and I managed a quick shower finally before getting into the firm if comfortable bed in my room and grabbing three hours' sleep. I awoke at 5.30pm and started to catch up on work again, only to be called by Tan at 6pm that we had been invited to eat by Lao Pan and to be at the restaurant in 20 mins. I didn't mind, so got there at 6.30pm and stayed for no more than an hour with just six of us, before making my excuses and going home to work for a bit. But then Tan turned up needing her mobile charged and stayed for a good half an hour.

The electricity came back in the evening, earlier than expected, so I went home at about midnight. Due to a late start I worked till 3am. There was a lot to get through.

Locals at my local

Busy busy day, but I stopped at half midnight and went out for a bite to eat at the seafood place again that is definitely my local now. I ordered some fried sweetcorn and an octopus (again), and as I waited I was called over by a bloke from a table of eight men looking rather the worse for wear. As he called my by my name ("A Ming" is one of my monikers here), I went over to say hello and have a glass of beer with them. Well it ended up being more than just a glass, but they were good company and very jovial as we joked about Bangxu. One of the things that brings many of us together is the fact that we're married to Bangxu women. There is always a belly laugh when I recite a phrase that is quite common among Bangxu men: "Tian xia bu pa, di shang bu pa, jiu pa Bangxu lao po!" ("I fear nothing under the sky, I fear nothing on the ground, I only fear Bangxu wife!").

The boss of the seafood place didn't want to serve my food at the table I was sitting at as he whispered to me that the blokes had drunk a lot. Without being rude, I excused myself to say I'd eat with some other friends I'd planned to earlier, and they were all fine, after gan bei'ing a final time.

Of course the sweetcorn and octopus was delicious, but the boss had also brought a portion of raw fish. At least that was the name of the dish. It looked raw, and had the consistency of raw fish, but it was rather hot. Anyway, it was very salty but very tasty too, and at 2.30am we said our farewells, and the boss's wife would only take 30 kuai from me for all the food and drink.

Being stopped by the friendly police

Missing breakfast for the 40th time out of the 48 or so days I've spent here I fancied a bite to eat at midday. Tan had had something so I went by myself to a nice place that does sliced sausage with rice and greens. I had one of those crap experiences here. When you think you're fine at the language and then something unexpected turns up that makes you realise you're a lifetime away from mastering it. The woman plonked a huge bowl of soup on my table, filled mostly with greens. I asked "isn't this meant to be sausage?", and she replied that there was meat inside. I gathered that I'd ordered incorrectly and poured myself a bowl of the soup that looked tasty, but not filling, promising to myself that I'd learn how to order food properly next time.

Then to my relief the waitress came and said she was sorry but she'd made a mistake. Phew. I poured the soup back into the bowl and a couple of minutes' later I was served with what I was expecting. Big relief. However, after the meal my gut was not feeling too good. I got on the electric bike and intended to pick up my trainers from the shoe cleaning shop but I noticed a group of 8-10 policemen 20 yards down the road in that direction - they seemed to be pulling people over for no discernable reason. Rather than risk geting a criminal record for something like non-insurance or whatever, I pointed the bike home and went there instead.

Tan got a call from A Hua when I arrived, asking her to go to her place to have lunch, as is normal now. So she took a quick shower and an hour later was ready to go out. I offered to take here as it is now quite hot again and I didn't want her burning in the sun waiting for a san lun che. We got on the bike (luckily she was wearing nice short shorts so she was able to sit astride properly rather than side-saddle), and made our way to A Hua's place.

When we were nearly there one of a dozen policemen jumped out into the middle of the road and bade us stop. How silly of me, I'd completely forgotten about them. Even Tan admitted she should have told me they were around today. Anyway we were pulled over by a smiling gendarmerie who pointed to my head and said "hat". We played ignorant (which wasn't hard as we were) and were told that by law we needed to wear a helmet on such a vehicle. So we had to leave the bike there and get a helmet. Well for Tan it was ok as she was 2 minutes from A Hua's place, but I needed to get back so I asked the simple question "Where can I buy a helmet?". The policeman answered in English "I don't know". This struck me as quite surprising as they must have stopped dozens of non-helmet-donning locals today.

Tan and I left the bike to walk towards A Hua's place, and came across a friend of hers who'd just pulled up on her motorbike. She was quite butch, but offered me her helmet so that I could ride to the shops that sold bikes and get a helmet for myself. I said thank you very much but I didn't fancy wearing another person's sweat for any period of time (I didn't actually say that to her). So Tan said I'd need to walk 5 minutes to get a helmet. This I disagreed with but didn't tell her and left her walking to A Hua's place. I then doubled back and went to the hardware store near the market that I tend to go to for my electric goods needs. I asked the bloke if he had a "tou kui" and he said "dui", leapt upstairs and produced a fine-looking red helmet for 15 kuai. Very cheap in my opinion though who knows about the quality? I told the bloke that there were a dozen policemen stopping people without helmets, and that I would tell these policemen to tell prospective customers to come to his shop, so he had better put some on display - he could make a mint! He looked at me as though I'd just said something in German, so I explained that he could make money by selling his helmets to people stopped by the police for not having one, but he still seemed to not think this was important to his business. Maybe it just was not, but I can't imagine such a thing back home...I would have set up a stall by the police selling helmets for 30 kuai each.

Anyway the helmet fitted fine, was adjustable, and had a chin strap. I took it back to the police and we all had a laugh about it. I still think they could be more effective by having, say, two groups of five, rather than one group of ten. But it was refreshing to be able to talk to a policeman on a human level.

A bit later I ventured out to pick up my cleaned trainers. On the way back I passed the policemen again, safe in the knowledge I had my new helmet on. As I pulled up to the traffic lights I noticed a young lady on an electric bike next to me. She reached down to her feet to pick up a yellow helmet that she wore for all of six seconds as she drove past the policemen, then immediately removed it and placed it back on the floor between her legs. Ingenious?

Smoking doctors

Another busy day. Tan was feeling ill and hadn't slept so I got the kids to bed at a late hour while she slept. Well Xixi was too excited as she'd had a siesta so I left her with Waipo, but I finally got Leilei to sleep at midnight.


I tried in vain to get them to sleep in the living room at 10pm...

I was peckish so popped out for a bite to eat ten minutes later. How predictable - I got a call from Tan saying Leilei had woken up and where was I? Well fair e-bloody-nough, I'd stopped working to look after the kids and I deserved a break. I had just bumped into some people I'd met last year when Leilei and I went to Tian Dong to taste the most delicious mangos in the world. I had to say goodbye after a few minutes to attend to my son. Then when I got home a minute later I found him asleep with Tan anyway, so I thought "fair enough" and I popped back out to talk to the guys. Four of them were doctors (three of whom had the same surname "Huang", or "Yellow"). They were all drinking and smoking and I made some jokes about "doctor's orders" which they seemed to find funny.

We chatted till gone 1am, and they loved that fact that I could speak a few words of the local language. Apparently I will be invited to drink beer with them this weekend - as I told them I was too busy during the week.

Not going to Angola

My trainers stink (not the new pair). I noticed after table tennis the other day but now they're noxious. So I took a ride to A Wu's shoe cleaning place, where I used his number (G186) to book in my smelly footwear and was told they would be ready the day after tomorrow.

Tan asked me if her sister had asked me to go with her to Angola for a business deal. I'm not one to lie so I said she had but that I'd not said I would go. I didn't fancy it quite frankly and neither did Tan so at least we agree about something.

Actually worked for much of the day getting an important deployment out... However at half past midnight I went to the seafood place and was invited by the manager and his wife to join a table where we had some gorgeous grub, and they were fine about me buying some bbq pork from the place next door to share with them. I ended up staying over an hour as I'd had a stressful day and was happy for some friendly company.

Spontaneous trip around town with Xixi

Got up at 1pm and lazily helped myself to the leftovers of yesterday's octopus and fried sweetcorn. Work was not on the agenda so I took the electric bike down to where the kids often spend most of there time during the day - Jiuma's house. I found Xixi there, who was apparently ready to have a snooze, but on hearing my voice snapped right out of that. We drove around for a bit and found Waipo playing Ma Jiang (Mah Jong?) with some friends. I get the impression she really missed this sort of stuff while she was living in the UK.

I took Xixi down to the river to have a look at what chances we may have of being flooded like so many other places not so far away this year in China. It seems that the river has a long way to rise before it would come close to threatening our town. We drove down to a boat restaurant that I'd never seen before, and I made a mental note to visit it one evening for a meal. We then drove by the mountain to the railway station. This must be a new road as the last time I went to the station it was a good ten minute ride on a san lun che, but going south of the mountain it took us three minutes. I took details of the trains to and from Nanning, while Xixi had fun with some kids there. Then we drove to a new bridge that we'd seen, the promises to be yet another way to get into Pingguo in the next few months.

The view from the restaurant "Shui Shang Ren Jia" (水上人家), which literally means "Water on people family", but translates to "Boat Dwellers"

The next place I took her was a nice park frequented by elders, where we witnessed some of the harmonious singing the elders like here. All in all it was one of the nicest days I've had this year here; no pressure from others to do stuff, and spending quality time with my daughter exploring new terrains and having a great deal of fun.


A snippet of some of the lovely sounds to be heard in this local central park, with most of the traffic sounds filtered out by the trees

We then drove a bit further south following a river through by tall dwellings in empty boiling streets until we came across a few men sitting inside one such house. The men were actually finishing off their meal but they grabbed a small wooden chair and told me to sit down, explaining what the various dishes were. One of the ladies got me a bowl of rice and a glass of beer, and suddenly it was just like any meal with friends here. We joked about lots of things, and when I explained about the family situation and that Tan was from Bangxu it transpired one of them was too. How they laughed as I spoke out the names of the various dishes in Bangxunese, and then moved on to a couple of games of cai ma. It was one of those spontaneous magic moments, an hour very enjoyably spent, and I made a mental note to come back for a bite to eat before I leave. The owner's name is Lo Jing Ping, and he has a daughter of ten, and a son of four, reminding me that in the country it is permissable to have two kids if the first is a girl.


I will try to remember to go back and maybe bring a little packet of English tea as a present

I went home and found Tan there. She wanted to buy some trainers to go jogging, so I dropped off Xixi and took her to the shop I'd got mine from, and A Wu and A Ni went too as A Wu has the discount card. Tan decided on a pair identical to mine except for being a more ladylike shade of light blue. Then she said that there was a special offer and that it was two pairs for one, so I could choose any pair I wanted for free. I smelt a rat so I went and chose an expensive pair. Then she said that I had to pay 38 kuai to get the second pair for free. I started the sentence that would have been "But if I have to pay 38 kuai it's not free", but thought better of it and just said "38 kuai is not bad for a second pair of trainers". And then it transpired that the "free" second pair only counted if you a) paid 38 kuai, and b) chose a cheaper second pair. As Tan's trainers had already been discounted to 139 kuai, A Wu and I decided to get a pair each for a total of 280 kuai and split the cost. He got a nice pair of grey/blue trainers like my previous ones, and I got a black pair with red details, as my other pairs are white and get dirty very quickly. I've now bought three pairs of trainers in the last month.

In the sports shop I got a phone call from Jiuma to pick up Xixi, so I came a few minutes later and found she had had a "little" sleep for an hour or so. That meant it wouldn't be easy to get her to sleep later in the evening, and as Tan went out with her friends, so it transpired. I finally got them both to sleep at 11.30pm.

Er jie came today for a few minutes (fair enough, it is her house). She spent a few minutes with Xixi before moving on to her husband's boss's place. That reminded me that a few days ago on the 12th July she rang me to ask if I knew about grapes. It took me a couple of minutes before I realised she was asking me if I could speak Portuguese. So I said I could speak it but it had been ten years since I lived there (for one year). Then she said something about a business deal in Angola, and she wanted me to go there to help her. I didn't want to say no so I just asked her to send a text with the details, although I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to be a part of her business deal. I didn't tell Tan, as I knew what her response would be.

More work and sea food boss

Yet another long day at work but at 8pm I decided to go and play table tennis for an hour or so. It was a nice expenditure of energy but I ended up working till 4am again.

By 12.30am I'd pretty much done enough so I stepped out to what is slowly becoming my regular haunt for a bite to eat at the witching hour. This is the seafood place not a minute away from our place. I happened to meet Lu Hai, who was already half cut, and the owner and manager of the place. I ordered an octopus and some fried sweetcorn as I had had enough of pure meat for a few days. We spent an enjoyable hour or so chatting, and the owner(?), well he was the main cook and his wife seemed to take the money and they have a beautiful six-year-old daughter - told me he wanted to work in England. I explained that most of my Chinese friends in England weren't too happy there but it seems like some sort of dream. I told him he'd be working in a little room 16 hours a day but he still seemed non-plussed. Maybe one day if he comes he'll really understand....