Back to 2 caves

Back in 2005 I went with a few friends to a cave 20 minutes motorbike ride from Bangxu where Tan's from originally. This was an amazing place, pretty inaccessible to most. After the motorbike ride to a friend's house a group of five of us hiked up the nearest mountain a 100 feet or so, then entered a split in the mountain and staggered down inside until it was pitch black. After we all donned torches I was told I would have to shimmy through an eight feet long gap in the rock that was 1 foot high and under 2 feet wide. One bloke went first, then another a minute later. It was then my turn and I suddenly got pre-claustrophobia of the highest degree. I told them I couldn't do it and they laughed the way people who have never experienced claustrophobia do. I sat by myself a while and reasoned that the pain of not going through this tiny gap and potentially seeing something only seen by a handful of people before should be greater than the discomfort of the fear of being stuck inside a rock for the rest of my life. I managed to reason that I couldn't live the rest of my life without knowing what was eight feet away so I went in arms first and used my elbows to leverage me through the cold stone. Panic was not a thousand miles away when my body was encased in stone but thankfully the blokes who had already gone through were shining their torches through so I could see light at the end of the tunnel. After probably only a few seconds I thrust my hands in the direction of the torches and one of the blokes grabbed them and pulled me the rest of the way. I can honestly say there's not been a scarier path traversed in my life.

Getting into the cave

Once in the cave it was difficult to get a real appreciation of the magnificence, due to the fact the torches pierced perhaps 100 feet at furthest throught the dank air. But I estimate the height at around 50 feet and the expanse roughly the size of a football field after we'd walked around. One of the other blokes had wisely bought a fistfull of joss sticks and after spending a few minutes lighting them all, left one every 10 feet we walked, an acknowledgement of the risks of getting lost in a pitch black cave the size of wembley with only one exit the size of a human.

The strange balls making much of the floor of the cave

But it was perfectly different from any terrain I'd experienced before. Strange muddy-coloured balls under our feet mingling with mini-volcano like rotundities that were probably related to stalagmites (tights come down). We spent around half an hour in the cave I guess, certainly one of the most fascinating 30 mins I have ever spent.

Nice cave terrain

So of course I wanted to take And to see this cave. And after talking about it to the manager of a nice tea shop I used to drink with last year we agreed to go there today. Until Tan heard about our plan that was. She didn't trust the tea-shop manager's driving ability and said anyway we couldn't go today or the next day due to rain making the roads slippery.

Bollocks.

But anyway she'd now arranged for A Zhong's younger brother to take us in A Zhong's car as he is a good driver apparently. To cut a long story short we eventually got there (apparently) to be told the cave had been blown up to make way for an electricity generation station. This would normally have pissed me off a lot but I saw what they had done; they had channeled about 25% of a mountain river and built a duct to take the water a mile or so to a generation station that powers a whole village/town in this rural area. So at least this is renewable energy, at the cost of a fantastic cave. Having said that I'm still not sure this is the same cave I visited back in 2005.

This may or may not be the cave I visited in 2005. If so it has been smashed open to provide hydro-electricity to the neighbouring towns, in which case I don't mind

View from this area

After visiting this non-cave, we went to Tan's hometown of Bangxu and had a meal of frogs and pork ribs. I do like the frogs but they are rather bony and it's everything rather than just the legs.

Then A Zhong's brother drove us to the cave I'd visited in 2003 during my first time in Guangxi. Then we had to hack our way through coarse grass to get to the cave opening, and don head-torches to see where we were going. We scrambled down some rocks before a friend put us in a small boat to take us to an area where you can walk.

Tan and me in the cave in 2003

Well it's all changed now. For 50 kuai per person (about a fiver) you can enter the cave. There are walkways and the cave is all lit up with green, red, blue and yellow lights to make it look unrealistic. There is a guide who tells you at every turn that this rock looks like an elephant and that one is called "mother rock" because it looks like a mother bending over a child. The guide pointed out one rock and said it was called something or other, and I disagreed and told her it was an octopus. She didn't look very happy about it but I persisted and eventually she accepted.

There were 3 other girls on the tour. And thought they were all 14 years old, as he does with every woman that has not yet given birth here. We got chatting to them, and it turns out that one is from Bangxu (and went to school with Tan's nephew) and she was taking two friends from Hunan on a trip. That made me realise that they must be 18 years old so I asked and they said yes so that's one in the eye for And. One was quite pretty but had a moustache.

The cave spoilt by multi-coloured lights

They were 18 and we only said "hello" and gave them a lift back to Bangxu

Early morning walk and afternoon swim in boxer shorts

I stupidly woke up at 4am. By 6.30 I'd had enough of being awake so I went for a walk to see Pingguo in early morning after a nice rainfall. It was a genuine pleasure to walk around without the manacles of a chaperone. I felt truly free although I only walked around the town for an hour or so.


The guang chang in early morning after a refreshing rainfall

In the afternoon A Wu asked Andge and me to go out swimming. We asked what we would need to swim but were told to just come as we were as that would be fine. As it turned out, when we got to the lake just outside Pingguo, the only people swimming had their own swimming suits. A Wu wanted to show off to the girls, and he had a pair of shorts, so he stripped off and got into the water. As there were women around I duly did the same although my trousers came halfway down my calves and I had boxer shorts underneath. Well f**k it I dived into the warm water and swam around for half an hour. A Wu was knackered after 1 minute and complained about sore arms. Ha ha 1up for the English!

Enjoying a swim in the lake


Three men in a boat

Chickenpox

Oh dear. Leilei has picked up chickenpox from some other kids. Oh well, it has to happen some time...might as well be here...
A bit hungover from the KTV. Here are some pics or where we are living this month that Andrew took:


The quarter-segment shaped living area of our dwelling in Pingguo


One of the bathrooms in our Pingguo house (the other was the same)


Andrew's bedroom. It is normally a teenage girl's but looks like Andrew's student room at uni...

Later in the day we went for a meal with some friends in a bar/restaurant I suggested as it is close to where we used to live last year and has stronger beer on tap. Unfortunately we were called out to another meal at 5pm so we had some there and then And, Leilei, and I got on the tiny electric moped to go to meet our friends later than planned at our place. We had a nice meal and the beer was ok but we all (not Leilei) rather missed the weaker bottled brew.

Here is how we got to the restaurant around 7pm:

A Wu's "birthday" and And's first KTV experience

We went for a walk at around midday. There had been some rain so it wasn't as hot as it had been, however it was still extremely humid. The kind of humidity that dictates that you walk at 1.5 miles per hour. We happened upon a public garden that I'd not been to before. Inside it was full of old people in grey clothes. We had previously been talking about where the old people went and we think we have found an answer. The strange thing was that they were all chanting to each other in some strange harmonies and it seemed like we had trespassed upon some life-size bees nest. I will try to go back and get some video before we leave.

A couple of young blokes from China Telecom came round to sort out some wires for the Internet. I hooked up my modem/router but there was nothing on the line. They told me to wait 30 mins and try again and I did. This time there was definitely a DSL line but no connection. I went to the China Telecom shop and they told me it would still be another day till the service was up. Hmm.

Today was A Wu's birthday. Actually it was last week but he postponed it till we'd arrived as he wanted us to be there to celebrate. We duly went for a meal and duly had more beer and And learnt some more alcohol-related words.

Gan bei'ing at A Wu's birthday meal

A Wu had booked a KTV (Karaoke TV) room for the evening and we went there about 9pm. Andrew had previously been rather worried about the prospect of singing in front of people but for some reason seemed to be rather looking forward to the prospect by the time the meal ended.

As it happened Andge leapt at the opportunity to "sing song" (maybe had something to do with the couple of whiskies he'd managed before going out). We sang "Dreadlock Holiday" and I dare say a few other songs. Later I went home to put Leilei to bed. 45 mins later Tan came home to stay with him so I went back to the KTV bar to find Andge in rather a worse state for wear. In my absence he'd imbibed a few glasses of red wine - luckily here they're pretty weak, but still we'd had a skinful of beer. I got the young ladies to pour him some tea and within half an hour he was back on the beer. I'm sure there's a moral to this story but I'm buggered if I can make sense of it.

And and I at A Wu's birthday karaoke party. Those smiles are genuine (I mean the girls' - ours obviously are)

At least A Wu had the idea to bring some lovely ladies to the KTV bar, who for some reason were happy to have their photographs taken with handsome foreigners (ok, so we would do).


I will probably delete this video

It is rather hot here - mid to high 30s. Outside most of the ladies hold umbrellas to avoid being tanned by the sun. Our house, to add to the problems of the noise and 100+ step climb, is also very stuffy inside except for the two bedrooms with air-conditioning. That doesn't seem to worry the kids though. Qiqi gege (big brother Qiqi - Tan's 2nd sister's 2nd kid) came over today together with his mum and Tan's brother's wife and Waipo. They all slept in the non-air-conditioned room. I would have offered them our room but I got back late that night and didn't realise they were in the house.

Leilei's hair looked ridiculous due to his self-inflicted effort the day before we left the UK. I took him to Lao Ma's salon (the woman who used to be one of Tan's best friends but now isn't). It was a great struggle but we managed eventually to get him shorn and I got most of his old hair over my clothes. He actually looks a lot better now and it must let a lot more heat out. It's also aged him by a good year. And for the first time no-one is asking whether he's a girl or boy.


Qiqi, Leilei and Xixi hiding in the cupboard. Leilei looks like a boy for the first time in China

A Wu's new work opening and another big meal

Xixi practising karate in the house
A close-up of Pingguo bus station with an interesting mosaic effect (And took this)

Today was the opening of A Wu's new business - a stone producing factory based a mile or so outside Pingguo town. It was a fairly auspicious occasion. There was a "magic man" humming something that sounded like mumbo jumbo to us in front of some candles, joss sticks, alcohol and cooked chicken.
Magic Man making mildly mysterious mumblings

It was a blisteringly hot day in the countryside and the whole procedure took a couple of hours, but after a couple of speeches and loud bangers the whole thing kicked off. It's a fairly simple procedure of blasting a mountain so that rocks falls to the ground, then loading the rocks onto tipper lorries that take them a few yards to a chute. The rocks, from a foot to two plus feet in diameter are then tipped down the chute where they are crushed into stones varying from a fraction of an inch to a couple of inches in diameter. These stones then get sifted and placed onto one of three conveyor belts according to size, with the largest returning to be recrushed. Caterpillar diggers then fill blue lorries with the stones, and the lorries carry them off to other factories to make bricks or whatever else you do with stones.


A Wu`s work in full swing

There were a couple of first day issues; the lorries couldn't drive up the slope from the loading area with a full load, and also they tended to leak stones from the back. The first problem was solved by using the digger to help push the lorries up the slope (though I don't see this as a long-term solution). The second problem was solved by pushing cardboard down the back of the lorry and spraying water there to make the stones stick. Again this is not a long-term solution but it was quite fun to watch. Apparently if the lorries were to leak stones on the roads in town they would receive a hefty fine from the environmental authorities.


A lorry getting a helpful shove (note the piercing later) and then finding the stone leak

Around 11am we went to a restaurant for a meal with A Wu and his friends and the wives. Unfortunately in the area where the restaurant was there was no electricity. Which meant no air conditioning. Which meant we went to another part of town to have the meal. I was told that on very hot days, when everyone has A/C on, there is not enough electricity to go around so certain areas are turned off. It must be pretty grim to own a restaurant in one of those areas; they lost a good couple of hundred quid due to that.

At the other restaurant we enjoyed a big meal with beer till 3pm. All the blokes played cai ma with me, and And learnt how to say "drink a glass", "cheers!", "drink alcohol!" and "toilet". A Wu and his friends carried on drinking and eating but we had to get to the estate agent before 4pm so we left around 3pm rather the worse for wear. Tan signed some more documents and we drank some water. Apparently it will take up to a month for bank confirmation for mortgage and other stuff so it's by no means done and dusted.

And`s pal was more worser for the wear

After a couple of hours' sleep And and I went to the Night Market where they do bbq but we wanted some veg to counter the copious amounts of meat we'd consumed in the last two days. We found a place that did fried sweetcorn and bbq'd grass, and I heard someone calling for me - it was a couple of blokes from the tea shop that I frequented last year near our house. This was quite lucky as they had commandeered the only fan in the eating place, that was normally used for cooling the poor person cooking the bbq. We sat down to our first light meal and endured (enjoyed) a couple of beers.

We'd told our friends that we wanted to watch the Khasakstan - England football match at 11pm and were told no problem we could find a place showing it. We went to the KTV bar at 10pm and the ladies set up a couple of tables in front of the tv for us to settle down with a couple of beers. When A Wu realised there was an hour to go he decided we'd go somewhere else and come back later. That somewhere else was a tea house with a very nice interior (internal stream etc). It then transpired we were going to stay there for the football. However things did not look good at 10.50pm as the sports channel was showing two ladies warming up for the French Open tennis final. Our fears were realised when flicking through the 50+ channels there was no sign of football. I was then told there was no chance of watching it as A Ni's friend has lots of satellites and could not find it either. That's not the main problem - I would just like to have been told they don't know rather than going to the effort of taking us out on a guess that it might be on. Had I known earlier And and I would have gone to an Internet cafe to watch it.

We decided not to stay at the tea place, and went with our ladies for a bit more meaty bbq at another place near the guang chang. A Wu, after his earlier marathon beer session, stayed on the water.

Putting on a deposit on a house

We went to look at a new block of flats in the process of being built. Not much more than a shell, but a few of us donned helmets and went up with our current neighbour who is also a cousin and also works for the estate agents selling these properties. Just about everything below the 10th floor was already sold, and there were 17 floors. Interestingly the 3 bedroom flats with a corner view of the guang chang (town square) were bigger than the 4 bedroom ones without such a good view, however the latter did not require a deposit (normally 33%).
Back at the office I decided I'd like one, especially if we could sort out a 10 year mortgage (around 270 quid a month at current rate). Lin Hong straight-away paid the 1500 quid holding fee for us, and for another friend with us who also decided she wanted one. Tan signed some papers but there was no bank input. Apparently we have to come back tomorrow for more. And asked some financial questions that were not answered in a manner to which we are accustomed in the UK, i.e. directly. We worked out for ourselves the compound interest for the different number of years to pay back the mortgage - 10 years would be 7000 quid cheaper than 20 years, at an extra cost to us of 100 quid per month so it was an easy decision.

And on the balcony of an identical flat to the one we want to buy except that this is the 7th floor (higher floors in even less viewable state)

A view of the living room from its mini balcony. On the left is the kitchen door next to the main entrance, then the fourth bedroom/study, one of the bathrooms, and the door that leads to the other three bedrooms.

The view of the guang chang from the main bedroom balcony. Not as good as the view from the corner but probably a bit quieter.

How the block should look in December. If things go well we should have one in the middle on the 14th floor.

A friend and Tan signing some paperwork

A plan of the flat. Note the small furniture to make it look bigger than it is (actually 130m sq).

I woke up at 4.40pm after an hour's kip and it dawned on me that we needed the Internet in our house. I rang Tan, who told me the place would close at 5pm so I hurried out to the China Telecom shop and ordered one Internet. I went for the 88 kuai per month fast option (2MB). I also had to pay a 200 kuai deposit for a modem they didn't give me (but I told them I would use my own). Apparently it will take from 4-7 days. Hmmm.

PM bbq at same place - Brandy and hotel friend came

Back in Pingguo with a horological similarity

Up at 7.30am to have bite to eat and get hotel taxi to airport. Flight to Nanning was on time and uneventful. Met A Wu, A Ni and Chen Mei at airport where we got into A Wu's new car (a 20 year old Nissan Cefiro) and Chen Mei's nice white BMW.
Flew up to Pingguo at 150kph and got there in under 90 mins to have a nice meal in an air-conditioned room, followed by couple of hours kip in our house. Unfortunately our house is on the sweat-inducing 5th floor and our luggage was pretty heavy. Worse than that we are pretty much central, which means that there is loud music blaring out from 8am till after 9pm. Worse than that it is only four songs - 'All Rise', by Blue, plus 'Always Come Back To Your Love' (Samantha Mumba?), and a couple of other English ones that are driving us mad.
In the late afternoon And and I got a couple of SIM cards then went to eat and later had bbq.

Can you see a horological similarity between the photos taken on my first time to Pingguo and the one And took on our first evening?


Pingguo Bus Station in November 2003


Pingguo Bus Station by night in June 2009

That's right - they haven't fixed the clock for over 5 years. Well at least it's right twice a day.

Back to China after 5 months

We couldn't wait more than five months before coming back to China for what may be our last time for a decent duration as Leilei is going to start school later this year.
Drive took 1h30 to Heathrow leaving at 3.50pm
Meal at airport
No sleep on flight - Xixi also not much
HK airport - Andrew realised he'd lost his wedding ring - we asked someone to look for it while we waited for luggage. Miraculously it was found and Andrew was relieved like a man who had had his first dump in seven days.
No time to catch last fast train to Guangzhou, so we arranged a 'bus' from airport. I asked twice if this bus would take us all the way to Guangzhou and was told it would. The bus was a black people carrier that carried us to the border then dumped us off to get on a coach in mainland China. To add insult to injury the company had put us in the wrong coach so we had to move all our stuff into another one in sweat-drenched clothes with half-asleep children.
We got to the stop that we'd been told was 15 mins from airport to be told it was 30 mins. By now it was pissing down with rain and I ran to the front of the hotel where the coach had stopped to arrange to get a taxi-van to take us to the airport. While sorting this out a woman who was on our coach said she was waiting for her husband and they could take us to airport as they had a van. Well I didn't look this gift horse in the mouth and said xie xie very much.
We crammed into the van which was actually very small, but we just managed to get everyone in plus luggage plus the driver's wife and her friend. And managed to crack open a bottle of whisky and took an Awl-sized lug. I managed a bit too. Due to fatigue we felt a little light-headed and shared a laugh as we realised we were now well and truly in China. We paid the man and wife 100 kuai for their time/petrol and got off at airport where we waited a few more minutes for cab to hotel (free service but they didn't allow us to go straight to hotel).
10 minute drive to hotel. Not greatest one on earth but we got some food outside and got to bed around 2.

Last day in China 2008

Last day in China 2008.

No time to be sad. Got up, washed and dressed the kids, went down for breakfast. The taxi driver we'd ordered for 11am turned up at 10am and we ended up getting to the airport with plenty of time to spare.

Don't want to dwell on today. We've been extremely fortunate that I've been allowed to "work from home" in China for two of the last three months and we've had the most wonderful experience - mostly from the kids' point of view. They've been spoilt rotten in some respects, but they've been out more, and expended more energy than any time in the UK, due to weather and sheer number of friends and family taking them out.

While I love to have my family and friends in the UK I understand that Tan has the same here in China. What do we do about that in the future? It's always more practical in the UK due to work/immigration status, but it seems so much nicer in China. Oh well, next plan is to buy a property over there and see what we may one day be able to sort out re family life etc...

As for the plane ride it was grim. Xixi didn't want to sleep this time and Tan and I got barely two hours' sleep each. Awl came to meet us at Heathrow and drove us back home, where And and Lisa, and Mum, Joe and Cat kindly came to see us to welcome us back - especially nice was Joe's welcome back letter which I should scan and put up. In the meantime, here's the last nice Chinese picture I have of Leilei in Shanghai airport.


Leilei in Shanghai airport waiting to go home

Back to Shanghai and tired meal with Tan's ex-boss

Despite Tan ordering tickets to Shanghai with not enough baggage allowance, we were allowed to put all our stuff through in Nanning airport.

Don't want to write too much as it is very sad to leave "home" even if it is for "home". That's one thing you won't understand if you're both from the same country and both like "home".

We arrived in Shanghai in the evening, and Tan's ex-boss took us out for a late meal even though we were shattered. It was a lovely meal but Shanghai wasn't as exciting as Guangxi. Or maybe it wasn't as exciting as the Shanghai three months' ago when we knew we were on our way to Guangxi. Well Xixi and Leilei stayed up till we got back to the hotel at midnight and I went and got a couple of farewell beers from across the road from the hotel.

Wedding meal at last night in Guangxi

We left Pingguo in a bit of a mess with last-minute travel arrangements etc... I've left half a suitcase of clothes here that I hope will be available and will fit next time I come.

A Zheng and his family gave us a lift down to Nanning, much as they'd given us a lift up to Pingguo over three months ago. The only nice thing about the journey was seeing Xixi at the other end. She now can shout "BA BA" whenever she sees me and it melts my heart.

In the evening we were scheduled to attend a wedding for a couple of which one was related to Tan's dad. Xixi didn't come due to the time but Leilei enjoyed it tremendously, especially the stage diving (well not exactly that).


Tan and her younger cousin A Heng during the wedding in Nanning


Leilei making shadows during the wedding for all to see


Leilei stage jumping

I was amazed by the rather thin groom's ability to put back copious glasses of white alcohol as he had to "ganbei" just about every other bloke in the room. He let me into a little secret afterwards, telling me it was just water. What a lightweight! During my Chinese wedding I had no such option!


I'm not sure you're supposed to eat the bride (not while everyone's watching anyway)


After the meal I let everyone go back in a couple of cabs and decided to go off to the famous "Zhong Shan Lu" which is a street full of sumptuous bbq with something available to every taste from vegetarians to full-blown serial killers. After walking for 15 mins I decided on a nice looking stall with a good range of food and oredered myself some octopus and some nice looking bits of pork. I sat on my own table and ordered myself a beer. Not wanting to eat alone, I said "cheers!" to the people on the next table and before I could finish my glass I was sitting with them, sharing their (and my) meal, and showing photographs of the family. We had a nice hour or so together, after which we exchanged phone numbers and QQ numbers, and promised to meet the next time I was in Nanning.


Friends made in Zhong Shan Lu

Later got a taxi home for my last night in Guangxi this year...

Last night in Pingguo 2008

Last whole day in Pingguo.

Oh sadness is me...tomorrow we shall go to Nanning shortly before heading home.


Leilei enjoying his last meal in Pingguo

Today we went for a terrific send-off meal with our friends. Then later I went out with some of my friends for a last night of drinks. We first went to a shop to buy stickers I could put on the back of my car to cover some of the peeling paint. Then we ended up in the bar of some friends which had just opened the previous day. It was actually a very nice place, with a touch of an English pub but still having a bbq place outside.


Me with the staff of the nice Pingguo bar we discovered on my last night

Later, much later, we somehow found ourselves in the Pingguo International Hotel, where I ordered the boys a vodka, until A Wu's wife A Ni came along after her shift at about midnight and I ordered her a Cointreau. Then the lads decided hers was the best drink so I ordered a couple more of them. For 4/5 people it came to 30 quid in all which was pretty expensive but sod it it was my last night here..

Whisky with Brandy's friend at the new hotel

The friend of Brandy-the-hotel-boss has been ringing me for a few days asking to take us out for a meal. So I told him the 26th may be good. True to his word he rang up to confirm today.

After picking up Leilei from school (no Christmas holidays here!) I went to meet A Wu at the Pingguo Internation Hotel, a new building near the town square where his wife A Ni has been working for the last few weeks.

We went to the bar and sat down while deciding what to drink. A Wu said he wanted to be British, or at least do something in that style, so I suggested a scotch. He was only too happy until it was served. The young lady at the bar had probably not had to pour such a drink before and she served us huge helpings. Unfortunately the scotch (it was Famous Grouse or some other half-decent brand) was rather strong for A Wu, even after we had watered it down to near-homoeopathic proportions with water, which meant I had to help him out with most of it. Still, he was willing to pose for pictures as he liked his "British" look.


A Wu looking like an English gentleman

The meal we had was nice, and gave us the chance to meet Brandy's friend's wife and son. I really should know his name though.

Christmas meal with friends and mulled wine

Happy Christmas!

Well it's our first Christmas in China and it's not the most Christmassy. However that hasn't stopped Leilei having fun.

I bought him a fake Lego present today (they don't have real Lego here), and while in the supermarket I bumped into three American girls. They are here for just a week or two to teach some English to the locals, and it was arranged by the American family living here.

Today I invited all our friends to come for a nice meal at an expensive restaurant as it was Christmas. In preparation I'd also managed to buy some cinnamon, brown suger, and oranges/apples all from the local market in order to make some mulled wine. In fact the mulled wine went down very well, except for A Xia who has recently found out she is pregnant much to everyone's delight. Unfortunately the cheapest house red was a fiver but one bottle seemed to suffice so not bothered there. The restaurant staff even layed on a "huo guo" thing to help us warm it up.

So, no Christmas tree with presents, but a lovely meal with friends which is more important in my book.


Our Chinese Christmas meal - lots of lovely grub for everyone!

Meeting the Americans

Tan and I went for another meal at the Ming Dien Coffee Language Hotel. Tan rang A Ni, who said she'd be around in 20 mins after a quick shower. Then she had the cheek to complain when she turned up over an hour later as if she wouldn't do the same.

Apparently Tan has been taking my advice about coming here to eat during the cold. At least she knows I'm always right (well...). I left when A Ni turned up as I needed to pick up Leilei from school.

Either today or recently I took Leilei to the Americans' apartment as I needed half an hour's sleep. Their apartment is very nice and rather grand for Pingguo. I noticed a message daubed in large red letters around the top of the wall in the kitchen: "IN THE BEGINNING GOD CREATED THE WORLD" or something to that effect. In another time something like that may have been illegal. Anyway I left Leilei playing Lego with his friends (or "Legos" as they say in American) and came back a bit later.

In the evening we went out for a lovely meal (for the nth time) with Tan's new circle of friends and their husbands. I made my own way on the electric bike solely as I knew this is the last week I'll be using it and I'll really miss it. Leilei was a bit naughty during the meal; he likes to spin the revolvable food holder around and when we told him not to he went out and did it on others' tables as in the video.

One-handed driving due to the cold

Drove Leilei one-handed to school in order that the other would survive in case of frostbite. If the minimum really is 7 degrees I'm shit-scared of going back to UK in one week. At least we'll have heating there. And jumpers.

Got back and fell asleep around 11am. I remembered to turn my phone off. This was good because I would have received three phone calls during catching up on shut-eye. However I was woken up by A Wu walking into my room at 2pm as he has a key. Apparently he had knocked but I'd not heard him - imagine if my phone had been turned off for a different reason and we hadn't heard him for that reason.... Tan came back at 3pm....

My note to self worked. I took Tan and Leilei to the Ming Dien hotel where we had another lovely meal for less than 7 quid. It's bloody cold now. I did go out for a little bbq and lamb huo guo as Tan's friends' had invited her but she was feeling a little ill so I stepped in. A Wu invited me to go to "sing song" but by the time I got there he had left as he was too drunk. Wanker. I would at least have let me know.

Getting colder but Ming Dien nice

Hell's Bells. We get a daily text message telling us the min and max temperatures, which is how I knew yesterday was 24 degrees. Last night's said 7-11 degrees. And this morning it was bitchingly cold on the bike to school. I allowed Leilei to put his hands in his pockets and held him tight with my legs during the 5 minute journey. Once back I managed to get some sleep during the day as the bed was the only place with warmth.

At 4.30pm the electricity went (it had rained a little during the day so I presume this is why). So as light would go by 6pm, and it would be hard to cook, I decided that after picking up Leilei I would take him to one of Pingguo's decent hotels for tea. We drove to the Ming Dien Coffee Language Hotel. Apparently they serve coffee there. And it has its own language. I didn't investigate, as all I knew was that this place was warm and...well that was all that was important. Because if you live further south than some line in China you do not get government heating, and if you live north of that line you do. I think that's the deal. Certainly no-one here appears to have any form of heating, presumably as it would only be useful for a month or two a year. For me that is more than enough reason.

Anyway, we had a lovely meal, and Leilei's teacher turned up for a meal with her friend. She was saying "poor you" to me as I was feeding my son, as if this was a woman's job, and came to our table and helped him eat his eggs and fried rice. I had bbq pork ribs with rice, greens, peanuts and pickled vegetables. Leilei's was a large helping of beef-fried rice with peppers, and two sticks of bbq pork plus a fried egg. We both got a portion of soup and a portion of some sort of omelletty jelly like substance that was quite nice. Plus as much warm water as we could drink. The bill came to 50 kuai, which was more than we may have spent elsewhere, but not that much and not in such nice surroundings. There were even Christmas trees and lots of lights to keep Leilei amused so I was able to eat in peace too. We took home a doggy bag with enough to fill an adult for the next day. Note to self: come back tomorrow.

Back to Nanning as missed the kids...and City lose again...

Woke up at 6.30am after four hours' sleep. I missed Xixi and Leilei too much so I took the electric bike down to the bus station to see what time the buses went to Nanning. As it turned out one was literally leaving that minute and I managed to stop it as it was driving out of the bus station. Called Tan while on the bus and it turns out she's in Shandong on the other side of China with a friend. She was supposed to be helping her sister sort out her pension in Guangzhou but something turned up and she had to go to Shandong to pick up some papers apparently.

I arrived at Tan's sister's house at 11am shattered, and found Xixi was asleep, so I went to have a rest with her. But I couldn't sleep as I just wanted to watch her. Later, when she woke up, she was happy to see me, and after going for a wee (her, not me) I took her and Leilei out to play for a bit. Leilei knows a lot of the boys in the complex now - they all go out with their "Tuo luo" (spinning tops) and have fights with them, as in which top is last left spinning. Spinning tops seem all the rage now in this part of China, more popular even than yoyos.

When I took Xixi to see the fish in the pond she shouted out "yu!", which is Chinese for "fish". She also knows how to shout out "Yeiyei!" when she sees her big brother. I am very proud of her.

I decided to take Leilei back to Pingguo in the afternoon as he has school tomorrow and I don't like him missing it. We got back around 6.30pm and went to A Wu's house for a meal as it was "Dong wei" or something like that; it means the first day of the winter, when traditionally families eat together. Well today it reached 24 degrees C and I was very happy about that indeed. I know that wearing tee-shirts in December is something I won't be doing for long...

Meal with A Ni's dad before the match later

As I was taking Leilei home I got a call from A Wu to go to the KTV bar to "sing song". I explained I had Leilei so would go for 10 minutes. This time I was true to my word. The room was full of oldish people and smoke. Leilei has a cough at the moment so and did a few "gan bei"s and left.

Stayed up to watch Man City provide probably their definitive performance of the season at WBA, as in, "we know that most of us are going to be replaced in January so we don't give a shit". Depressing. You might think that some of them gave a shit. Back in the bottom three where quite frankly we belong.

Too much KTV

Went to eat at A Wu's in the evening. During the meal got a call from Uncle Yellow to go and "sing song". Well I was supposed to go for a massage tonight as my back's been playing up, but I probably won't see much more of him this year so I accepted, and A Wu was invited too. Normally I do quite enjoy these evenings, but tonight I was absolutely knackered, having woken up at 11.30am after two hours' sleep. I don't know why I couldn't sleep last night. When we got to the karaoke room it was full of mostly drunk men, one of whom insisted I sit between him and some woman I didn't know (his wife, concubine?). I wasn't in the mood for drinking and reluctantly downed a number of thimble-sized glasses. We then room-hopped to a place that had some teachers from A Wu's old school, then a room with a friend who was celebrating his birthday. At each room I had to down more beers and sing songs. Actually room-hopping was far more enjoyable than the original room with the drunk men leching over the three women. Eventually at 11pm Uncle Yellow decided to leave and I went with him. He said there were too many undesirables that came into his room and spoilt it a little. I agreed with him and said it is one thing to enjoy a drink, and another to enjoy it while making others not enjoy it. I think he understood what I meant. As I was walking into my apartment complex A Wu was gesturing for me to come back and go to another karaoke room where some other friends were. But I'd had enough and had no qualms about losing face by telling him so.

At least I managed to enjoy a game of ping pong

The price of things...

Despite being on leave I dialled into a meeting as it was quite important. However, as I was enjoying being alone and geeking on the internet I got a call from A Wu asking me to go out and "drink tea". Needless to say no tea was drunk, but beer was. This time I hardly got drunk as I was too full from the bbq fish and fried sweetcorn.

I reckon things in China are on average 4.5 times cheaper than in UK. Some things, like labour are 10 times cheaper, whereas actual things (commodities?) can be three times more expensive. A bottle of beer from a shop is 30p, in a restaurant it is 35p, which doesn't reflect the 300% mark up we get in the UK. But a bus ticket for the 90 minute ride to Nanning is 3.50GBP, which would probably get you from London to Birmingham in the UK (if you really wanted to go there).

A haircut is one quid max. A laptop stand, complete with underneath fan to prevent overheating is just a fiver, but a half decent laptop will set you back 600 quid where in the UK you would get it for half that plus a valid version of windows. Queer.

Either way, when a 50 minute massage and head wash costs 1.50 you can't complain.

Staying up till 6am to see City lose...

No work tomorrow, but Tan and the kids went to Nanning today so that Tan can help sort out her 2nd sister's pension.

I took the opportunity to go out with A Wu and some friends to "drink tea" where nothing tea-like was imbibed and instead there was copious amounts of weak beer. There was a wedding celebration at the place we were drinking and the men there "forced" me to down a couple of glasses with them.

I eventually got home at about 2am, after being given a 9-pack of beers, only two of which I would be able to drink later. Later being staying up till 6am to see Man City lose dreadfully to Racing Santander in our last group match of the UEFA cup. I know we'd already qualified, but this was a crap performance and makes me wonder how long Mark Hughes deserves to stay in charge. I hate the fact that we appear to be able to not give an effort until the January transfer window arrives. We have a better team on paper than this time last year when we were in the top three yet we are not in the bottom three due to goal difference alone. Being a Man City supporter hasn't changed yet...


Playing cai ma with the lads

White Rabbit

Xixi isn't walking yet but she can do if you hold her hands. And she can get up on her own. Personally I don't rank walking half as important as being able to shit in the toilet. She's still not perfect at that by any means but one of my biggest highlights this time in China has been holding her over the keyhole shaped shithole and seeing her offload a pile of babydung.

Xixi standing - I didn't have the heart to show her over the toilet

Today, in a rather Alice-esque episode, a white rabbit turned up outside our window. Ok, it didn't say it was in a rush, but as we are on the 2nd floor I though it rather weird how it got there. It turns out it belongs to a neighbour who lets it run out on the roofs. At least it isn't a lemming. I asked the owner (a kid) what its name was and he said it didn't have one. That is a bit of a strange thing here. Pets don't have names.

A white rabbit

Work till 3am interleaved with KTV

I was supposed to be on leave today but something turned up at work, plus two people were sick, which meant I volunteered to work. Having said that I was invited to "sing song" at about 7.30 by A Wu. I couldn't make it due to work but ended up turning up at about 10pm when there were few people left. Not few enough, as friends from a nearby karaoke room turned up and drank beer with me till I was in a suitable mood to sing song.

I managed a couple of renditions of "Peng you" ("Friend") - a popular Hong Kong song in Cantonese. Eventually A Wu's wife turned up with a friend and I was given a break from singing. Someone had used my phone to video me doing karaoke, but as soon as I'd seen (worse, heard) I immediately deleted it. Wow - that was bad. "Spirit in the Sky" and "No Matter What" are best left to the professionals.

Back home I worked till 3am and when I got to bed Tan was asking why so late. It's an occupational hazard when you are working eight hours ahead of your colleagues. I wouldn't be in China without this though so she shouldn't complain.

A Wu's relative at the karaoke. I think the other bloke is her husband or something.

Leilei haircut for Mario Kart DS

I think I had a nice meal with friends today. Can't quite remember but it is a reasonable guess. Anyway, afterwards Tan was out so I took Leilei to have his hair cut as now literally everybody who doesn't know him thinks he's a girl. Literally everyone. I took him to Lao Ma's salon, who was Tan's good friend five years ago but now appears not to be. I'm not sure how the haircut turned out but at least people think he's a he again... At least he didn't complain and shave of all my arm hair this time - I'd promised him a game of Mario Kart DS if he didn't complain and he kept his word. Leilei's new haircut

Another wedding

We had to go to another wedding meal today. In fact it was a celebration of the "newly"weds' marriage and 30 days since birth of their kid. I got to meet more of Tan's extended family. I'm starting to think that nobody in this town is not related. It was a great meal and I only had about one pint of beer.

Some of Tan's dad's relatives

All related

Not buying an apartment

Sau zi came today and told me I wasn't to buy a flat in the apartment we had viewed because it was too expensive and too noisy. She had a strange explanation for why it was too expensive. Apparently when the materials were bought to build the apartment complex they were very expensive. Now, the materials are cheaper so the houses being built at the moment will be cheaper. Ok. So no-one will buy the houses bought when concrete was more expensive and they will be left empty? Something tells me even China's economy is not immune to the value of potential buyers' pockets. If the newly built houses are 25% cheaper are they going to keep asking 25% more for those just completed?

Xixi is looking cute though.

A smiling Xixi and mama

Lads' night out

Oh man, two weeks till Christmas and I saw my first Christmas tree today, outside a present shop. I must say it is rather a relief not to have Davidoff adverts rammed down your throat for three months before Christmas. I was on leave today and will be tomorrow too. Every day I get phone calls from friends asking me to go out and "drink alcohol" or "sing song" or whatnot and I've been turning them all down due to work. So recently I've been telling people "On Thursday I'll have time for fun ok?". Xixi was supposed to come back on Saturday but in fact, to our pleasant surprise, she came back today. This was absolutely great but it meant Tan, who'd arranged to go for a massage, had to back down as I'd already arranged this evening off for some time. Strangely, today no-one rang me to ask me to go out. So I got on the electric bike and went for a little ride before calling A Wu who'd promised to take me to "sing song" today. Well, it turns out he'd fallen asleep as he had to drink beer with some friends earlier in the day. So I made him come down to the bbq place, and once we were there I rang a few friends to come and join in. Without exception, everyone I rang turned up within about 15 minutes, which was nice. Everything was on me and we had enough beer and bbq to keep eight men happy for three hours. When I went to pay, I realised I'd grossly underestimated the cost of bbq these days. The total came to 350 kuai (35 quid) and I only had 200 on me so I had to drive back home to get the rest of the money (and deliver some bbq to Tan, who by now had woken up with a hungry tummy), then go back again. No worries, it was a good night and I caught up with a few friends I hadn't seen in a while. With some friends on a lads' night out

Looking at houses

Yesterday I went to an estate agency to enquire about houses. I like the idea of getting some thing reasonably central, but Tan is keen on getting somewhere near the Guangchang (town square - the one 20x the size of Trafalgar). Today Tan and I both went to view an apartment in the block opposite where we live. In typical Chinese style, this was little more than a shell; when you buy a new house you are responsible for putting a floor in, painting the walls etc... We viewed a four-bedroomed apartment on the 8th floor. It looked ok, and costs 30k which is rather pricey for here. I think four bedrooms is best though as if I were to spend time here I would need my own study. Plus the kids won't always want to sleep in the same room. Plus we always seem to have Waipo or some other relative staying so we'd need a spare room.

Anyway, for 30k we'd need a deposit of 9k so that isn't going to happen just yet. But I'm in the house buying mood. Apparently we (Tan) could get a 10-year mortgage that would cost 250 quid a month. In the UK we'd probably need to spend that long saving up for a deposit.


A plan of the house we looked at (yes, they seem to reckon on four televisions) - sorry about the flash


The living room, and entrance to the apartment


One of the bedrooms


View from the 8th floor


A map of Pingguo (for future reference) - sorry about the flash

Clothes in China

Went to exchange my jumper for the largest one in stock, and it almost fits me. If I ever lived in China, clothes would be one of my biggest problems (the other would be dentists - they are like shops and you walk past watching people having fillings done - awful!). Having said that, it's similar for Tan in UK as there isn't a lot in her size (she says).

Got the 5.20pm bus back to Pingguo (leaving Tan to stay one more night) and remembered I'd promised Xiao Lu to "drink alcohol" with him when I met him last week. He is the ex-husband of one of Tan's ex-good friends, who I met the very first time I came to Pingguo over five years ago. He is a hairdresser. I called up A Wu and we met Xiao Lu at a bbq place near my house where we bumped into a table load of friends none of which I knew. Needless to say, beer was consumed and we played "cai ma".


Friends and beer

Mah Jiang in Nanning

Went to Nanning in the morning to see Xixi. We went in Tan's ex-best friend's husband's car as they needed to get their car serviced after its first 5000k. It is a very nice Toyota Camry, extremely quiet and comfortable. Xixi is currently a daddy's girl and gives me a big smile even if I haven't seen her for nearly a week. Leilei went to play with the neighbours downstairs and Tan went to buy clothes. Later that night she came back with a jumper for me with sleeves that just covered my elbows. It's called spatial awareness, darling.

At the neighbours' downstairs, they spend an inordinate amount of time playing Mah Jiang (I think it means the game of four winds). It's basically rummy with plastic tiles instead of cards as far as I can make out, but they take it pretty seriously as it's also a betting game. I was amazed at the bespoke tables they use for this game, designed to maximise playing time and minimise the time inbetween.


The automated Mah Jiang table

Meal with Brandy and an American English teacher

Brandy's friend, I only know him as that, rang me to invite me to eat at a place near the Pingguo aluminium factory. This is quite a common thing to do as there are many good places to eat there. Tan and A Ni and A Wu came too, and there was a handful of other friends there waiting for us. Although we were eating outside, the "huo guo"s warmed things up a bit. Part way through the meal, Brandy's friend rang someone up and invited him to come to the meal. The fact that he spoke English suggested there was another foreigner in town.

It was Steven the English teacher. A nice bloke, retired, with a deep Alabama accent that must be interesting for his students. He can sink beers pretty well too, and seems to manage here ok despite only being able to say "drunk!" and "too expensive!". Funny enough they were some of my first words too.


From left to right, a drunk friend with a car, Brandy the hotel manager, Steven, me, a friend of a friend, Brandy's friend who probably does have a name, A Wu.

A rather drunk friend drove A Wu and I back later on (the girls had already taken Leilei back). In fact he was much more than rather drunk. The drive to Pingguo Aluminium company normally takes under 10 minutes, but this bloke didn't want to drive over 20kph (about 6mph) and we had to stop to take a slash so the whole journey home took half an hour. At least we got there in one piece. Drunk driving is commonly accepted, it seems, inside the towns. To do this on the motorways though would be considered a serious offence; they even belt up there. It made me think of Xiao Liao, after a particularly boisterous "sing song" a few Sundays ago followed by a trip to a local night club, throwing up all over the dashboard of his shiny new Volkswagen Touran. I wasn't there to see this, but the thought of him getting into his car early the next morning to go to work (unaware of the previous night's excesses) and finding a stomach-load of vomit covering most of the inside brought a smile to my face.

Self portrait

Leilei has been having fun using my camera. Most of the shots are rubbish but this self-portrait is ok.

That terrapin was dead and not hibernating right?

One of Tan's friends, A Hua, who gave Leilei the two terrapins he didn't ask for, told me today not to worry about terrapins not eating. Apparently at this time of year they hibernate. Suddenly I had a very bad feeling about the 'dead' terrapin I threw in the dustbin when I got back from Hong Kong the other week. I'm consoling myself with the assurance that the dead one had his head and flippers hanging out and the hibernating one is all tucked in. Also I did check the dead one an hour after I put in the bin to make sure he really was a stiff.

I'm 99% sure he was dead.

Getting cold in the morning

Despite most of the locals getting into panic mode about the cold, it only seems to be really cold early in the morning around 7.30am. At that time it is really beastly taking Leilei to school on our electric moped. However, I shouldn't complain as it is a 5 minute ride and I can be back in bed soon after.


Leilei looking like a rapper dressing up for school