As I was in the hotel I'd hoped to sleep in to nearly midday but I got a missed call from an unknown number ending 88 at 9.20am. Followed by a Weixin missed call a couple of minutes later from Erjie. Oh blimey, I guessed it was to do with the wedding that Tan had told me about and said I didn't need to go to. So I called her back and she said to hurry home as we were to drive to Bangxu for the wedding meal indeed. I thought about not going, as I had no idea how long it would go on for, and I'd promised to sing at the Zhong Yi place's function today too. But as it was family it was "family first" and I told her I'd be there around 10am.
Erjie was there with a few other Bangxu ladies and it didn't look like they were just about to leave. An hour passed and I realised it was this trick people use to get you somewhere so you can't do anything else. All they were doing was chatting so I told them I'd go to get a pair of shoes cleaned and they couldn't really complain, except to tell me the shop would be closed due to New Year. Well I got out of the house at least and of course the shop was as open as it could be. I popped in to Guanmart too to pick up some bits and pieces plus a 258ml bottle of jing jiu, should I need some Dutch courage later on.
I got back home at 11.45am to see they were only just leaving. I decanted the jing jiu into the remains of some cola in its bottle, and got into the front of the people carrier while Erjie, Jiuma, and the kid and her mother got in the back. At least the driver was pretty safe, but I'd taken a little medicine (not alcohol) before the journey so was reasonably relaxed about it. Until 12.20pm that was. I received a message from the Zhong Yi boss to say to go to the new Li Jia He Xian hotel at 1pm with my guitar. Oh horror, I was still a good half an hour from Bangxu and immediately was wracked with guilt. They'd been talking about this day for a week and I was heading in the wrong direction. I explained I thought it would be an evening affair (the truth), and said I'd let him know as soon as I was leaving Bangxu. Well he sent a location and then later told me I had the 4pm slot. Shit. Still I suppose there was a chance I'd be back by then.
At Bangxu we parked and walked up to a tiny village where we found loads of people cooking and cutting food, putting it in portions. But it looked far from ready. I'd naively thought we were coming for lunch but soon realised it was one of those "tricks" where they get you to be there early again. But anyway, it was quite good fun chatting to some of the kids there, getting them to say "my name is..." and then something I couldn't understand but tried to repeat anyway. I helped put out the tables and then to slightly allay my constant sense of guilt about my other date, had a wee sip for the jing jiu and cola, and it actually wasn't that bad.
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| Preparing portions for the wedding meal |
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| That's quite a few chickens |
Then, strangely, at 3pm we sat down to eat. I had no idea if it was now a late lunch or an early tea but wasn't complaining. The meat was cut into large chunks, as it customary here apparently, and within half an hour we'd finished and Jiuma was bagging up the remains, which accounted for 3/4 of all the food that was there. Erjie announced that we were now to leave but that I could stay to drink and play cai ma with the blokes. But I wasn't even tempted and made sure I got in the car with them. I pinged the Zhong Yi bloke to say I was on my way back, and would it still be ok to turn up late. Yes, it would be fine. I guess they'd rearrange my slot.
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| I wish I could fall asleep in a car so easily |
In trepidation I managed to finish the cola mixture during the hour journey back. You never know if it will be a private room with 6-7 people or something much, much bigger. Back home I grabbed a shower and a shave, and made it to the hotel for about 6pm. But I'd accidentally forgotten my guitar, and the boss said to go and get it. Blimey, I actually thought they might have one there. He also said to put on a shirt. Hmmm...it looked like it wouldn't be a room of 6-7 people then. So 20 minutes later I was back with my black canvas shoes and black shirt with flamingos on as it's about the only thing with collars I have with me. I may also have chugged a small beer while back home.
Shit, it was worse than I'd imagined. A whole function room filled with well over 100 people, and already I could see Li Kun's guitar mate on the stage with a band. I sat with the Zhong Yi boss and grabbed a bite to eat, and looked around for a drink but I couldn't see anything. Eventually he brought a bottle of red wine to our table, saying there wasn't any beer. I wasn't going to complain, and for once was happy to ganbei it. I got chatting to some people round the table as it seemed there was enough entertainment for the moment and I literally told the boss I'd like to have a couple of drinks to calm my nerves.
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| So many people... |
One woman to my left let it be known that she didn't have a husband (I'd already told her I was married) and asked if I could help her find an English boyfriend from 50-52 years old. Er, this is not the first time I've been asked this. I said I could take a picture of her and if I knew someone could show them. But she said no, she would send me a video of herself instead. This she did, and it was a rather eerie video of her singing some weird song in near black and white. Maybe that was the reason she was single.
Anyway, the band packed up, then there was some sort of weird goings-on on the stage, such as a woman balancing on one leg. Then the penny dropped a bit, and I reckoned I was in some sort of Chinese medicine function or promotion. This went on for a while after which I was a tad tipsy. I noticed some tables had left, so thought I had got away with it but NO! It was now my time and I was led to the stage where I put the capo on the 2nd fret and fret myself as I made sure it was in tune. As the previous band had gone there was no wire for my guitar, so one bloke stood to hold a microphone to my mouth, and another knelt to hold one to the guitar. Well my throat is still bad, and I don't think I gave a good rendition of Sound of Silence at all, but the 100 or so people who were still there clapped along and seemed very happy. I was even asked to do an encore so I did The Boxer as it was the easiest to remember the words to in my state. I remember I was straining a bit so missed out the fifth verse and cut the guitar bit at the end to being pretty minimal but I think I got away with it judging by the clapping.
Afterwards, the boss asked me something about the medicinal treatment I'd had the other day (while I was still on the stage). Err..I don't think it had had any effect but I said I was already feeling better (which was true, only not due to the treatment). This brought out another round of applause and I felt my presence now had been completely justified if only for getting this compliment from this foreigner. I said my xiexies and made my way off the stage after 10 long minutes. It was now 9pm, and I had a few more glasses until the event appeared to finish at 10pm. For some reason I picked up a crate of beers at the local shop at 10.20pm, but I didn't even attempt to open one and was fast asleep not long after that.
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