Pain, piano, and double bbq

Managed to get up soon after 10am and Tan was getting ready for the gym. I would like to have gone, and may not have regretted it but knew I needed a bit more kip so after a pint of water with a vitamin tablet I slept for another two hours. This time when I got up I had a significant pain in my right shoulder and could think why. The pain got worse so I thought I'd take a Naproxin, but for that you need to have some food. I once took some without food and not only felt physically sick but also mentally awful. I was all I could do to cancel my dentist appointment before going on a walk to try to forget about the pain. So this time I went and got my default jiaozi, got back and had my daily yoghurt with a gram of crushed resveretrol, two teaspoons of psyllium husk, and the rest of my daily supplements. It doesn't make up for lack of gym though, although with the pain getting worse I definitely wouldn't have gone. Ah, I've just realised it could have been my overexuberance bringing in the tables and chairs last night from our neighouring bbq place; that's about the only place I've expended energy recently from the top half of my body.

The pain was still getting worse until about an hour after taking the Naproxin, when I managed to doze on and off for another couple of hours. And then when I got up finally around 4.30pm it had totally gone. I wasn't going to push it by going to the gym, so did the next best thing and went for piano practice instead. After that I went to the clothes shop to look for XL and L size kits for T and E, but they only had every other size from S to XXXXL, so the bloke told me they should be in next week. Then I got a message from his wife a few minutes later asking what sizes I wanted, and that I should have them by tomorrow.

"Because there is no industrial addition to craft beer, you can drink too much of it without feeling bad the next day."

It may not be tuned too well but it's my go-to piano here.

Tan pinged me to say that Xixi's all-day hair appointment to make it greyish would finish soon and that we would go to Tianyang Po's for bbq. So I first dropped of my black canvas shoes to be cleaned, before sauntering over there in some of the most clingy heat I've experienced here, but before I got there I was called over to a table by a couple of blokes and a woman. Apparently we had eaten or drunk with them last summer and one of them proved it by showing a video of Leilei, Nezha, and I around a table with them. Then the owner of the place came out and we shared a couple of beers until Leilei walked past, pointing behind me to where Tan and Xixi were already sitting down. So I politely ganbei'd them and went over to have some of the best bbq in town before heading back home. I barely had time to crack open a cold one when Chen pinged me at 10.45pm for the first time in a year to tell me to go over to a bbq place on Jiang Bing Lu. I said I should be able to and he told me to "hurry up" as you do.

Friend bunch of people near Tianyang Po's bbq place

Ahh...duck tongues and sweetcorn bbq

Leilei had taken our dian dong che, but luckily Jiuma's was there, and charged up. I'd have had to walk the 20 minutes otherwise as I can't order didi ches on Weixin (as  apparently it requires face ID, yet my financial stuff on the phone is all in Li Kun's name. And although I've tried a couple of times I haven't been able to hire a blue electric bike either. I've got to sort one or both of these things out. So 5 minutes later I was parked outside and called Chen only to be answered with shouts from the other side of the road. There were a good six of them and of course I had to ganbei with each of them multiple times. I was quite glad I'd only had the one or two earlier.

But it was a fun night, with a lot of caima, and we got the pretty worker from the neighbouring bbq place to sit with us for a bit and I played caima with her too, to squeals of delight. The France - Belgium game had started but no-one was really watching it. Then, around halftime the wind started picking up and within seconds the bbq place people were bringing in the tables and chairs. The poor women from next door which whom I had just been caimaiing had no customers and was bringing in all the tables and chairs by herself so of course I jumped over to help bring it all in. No other bloke did though. Then, on cue, the heavens opened but by now we were inside and dry. Now we did focus a bit more on the footy and I was almost glad France scored a late goal as it meant we wouldn't have to watch at least another half an hour as it was getting on for 2am.

Yudao hao men bbq place in Jiang Bing Lu

It was the rain that wouldn't let me leave so soon though, so we ended up drinking till 2.30am anyway before it died down a little, when I said I'd better be off and the boss gave me an umbrella to keep most of the rain off. Chen did check that I'd got back ok. I tried to watch Portugal - Slovenia but if I did I don't remember any of it.

Xiao Tang Zong with the kids then footy to see Engerland go through...just

Up for lunch of takeaway again. I asked Tan what time we were leaving for Bangxu tomorrow morning and she said that we weren't going now as there was no car and her body was aching. This is so typical I don't get annoyed any more. But blimey I could have cancelled plans because of this funeral we were to attend over the next two days. And now, just like that we aren't going. It's not as though we couldn't arrange a taxi or something for the 45 minute drive...I don't know...I guess it's something more than that, but it's going to remain a guess as it's really not worth the effort of asking to find out the real reason. Live and learn. Or not learn as Mat would say.

At least for tea we managed to get all of us out of the house and we took the two dian dong ches to what looked like a western style fast food place but thankfully was very much Chinese food. Tan had complained about Xixi taking such a long time and said the restaurants would be closed but it was 7.30pm when we got there and were lucky to find a table. It was good food and a bit refreshing not to have to drink beer with it. But beer would be on the menu later as it was the England - Slovakia match. Surely we'd pick up a bit now?

Phones at Xiao Tang Zong

I waited till 15 minutes before the midnight kick-off before going to Wuming bar to find it was nearly completely empty. Just one table with people who invited me over and explained that people were working tomorrow. I guess so. We're normally here a bit later in the year when I suppose more people are free. So I watched the first 15 minutes of the match but didn't want to keep these people from their beds so decided to go back to the place outside our house.

That was much more lively than Wuming, and the first table motioned for me to come over. They seemed more interested in talking and drinking with me than actually watching the footy, so I didn't get to watch much of what I understand was a rather missable first half. The guys all left at half time so I moved on to another table to continue, and it was much the same until the last few minutes when I actually got to watch some of the match and see Bellingham's amazing bicycle kick. So it was extra time, but halfway through that my table left to go home so I watched us squeeze through to the last 8 not looking like a top 8 team at all. A carload of people came to eat before the end of extra time but I managed to stop myself trying to go over to them, and instead wished them to eat slowly as you do, and got home in time to start watching Spain v Georgia which was by accounts a much better game but I didn't stay awake beyond 1-1.

Watching us win unlike

Second footy match!

Yesterday I mentioned to Haiwei that Leilei and I were going to the football match v Chongqing this evening, and he said he was also going, and we were to meet up straight afterwards at Bar 3000 Du, as both his sons would be there and he wanted them to speak with me in English again. I knew this wouldn't go down too well with Feng ge, who had sorted my tickets and would want me to go for drinks with him afterwards.

Not that long after a lunch of jiaozi, Feng ge pinged me to say to be at the stadium by 5pm in order to sing with the Chongqing supporters. From experience, we normally only get 30-40 away supporters, so I was a bit surprised. But I've now been put into a Weixin group with nearly 300 people and I could see they were talking about being there early. I had a couple of pick-you-up at getting on for 4pm then Feng ge pinged me to let me know he was already at the stadium and to "hurry up!". Yeah, I've heard this before...so I left on the dian dong che at 5pm and some Wuming supporters members called me over before I could even get to the bar. I said I was looking for Feng ge and immediately he appeared and we went to the bar...not to drink, or to eat noodles as he had said, but to pick up one of the many loudspeakers charging on the desk.

Next we heard the drums start up and some chanting, and we started to march and chant from the north of the stadium to the south. There we met the Chongqing supporters, and there were about 1000 of them in great voice, even better than ours. We spent the next 25 minutes exchanging chants and rounds of applause in a sort of face-off, with a few totally unnecessary riot police in-between us.

Next we continued walking around the stadium, me posing for photos as Leilei was to come up later. At one stage Feng ge came over to me with a tiny glass of baijiu, and for once I was almost happy to have a wee nip. But then some woman pulled out a bottle of the stuff, and started pouring into tiny plastic glasses on a table. I should have predicted this, but then I was told we would caima of course. This was probably the largest audience I've had for caima and at least managed to win one round before losing and being replaced in a winner-stays-on format. Then a woman who had been videoing the proceedings came up to me and asked if I was Bangxu guye, and I replied in the positive, then she asked me to give a shout-out to the team so I shouted ”广西平果哈嘹加油！“ as you do. She asked me what impression I had of Pingguo, and I was so glad I understood “有什么印象” as last time here I wouldn't have understood that question. So it seemed she was a bit of a reporter and I guess some videos of me will be up for Tan to see and tut to soon.

Meeting the Chongqing fans

Me trying to help out our supporters

They got me to play a bit of caima...luckily I won one round at least

We waited for the team bus and cheered the players getting off, before finally completing the loop of the outside of the stadium and getting back to Wuming bar for those noodles. Feng ge gave me our tickets and said to come back after the match as Li Kun and his band would be on stage. I said I had to go elsewhere but that I should make it a bit later, which he seemed to accept. So off again, I met up with Leilei and we went in to watch the match. Blimey it was very full-on again in the Wuming stand behind the goal, and the Chongming supporters didn't let up either. By halftime there was a wafting stench of BO, and I was already looking forward to the end. Really annoyingly Chongqing equalised in the 95th minute, but 1-1 was a fair result and they were in 2nd place anyway.

Leilei didn't want to go to Bar 3000 du so we drove home and I changed into my last year's Pingguo Haliao top before getting there at 10pm and spending a reasonably fun two hours chatting a bit of English to the sons. At midnight I pinged Feng ge to say I'd come over if that was ok and of course it was. I arrived 5 minutes later to a much more raucous Wuming bar than I had left earlier this evening. Li Kun told me he was drunk. Feng ge told me he was drunk. I was sat down with other people and I wished I was hungry enough to avail myself of the fried crickets. The the good-looking pop star lookalike sat down with me at the table and chinged my glass, for the first time with a glass of alcohol. Then a few minutes later he was back on stage singing.

With Haiwei at Bar 3000 Du 

Cracking grub at Wuming a bit later...

I think I was invited to go up on stage too but I was too modest, even after a few beers. This was more of a professional set too. So I watch a bit of Switzerland demolish Italy and chatted to more and more people, and I recall some caima for good measure.

Exercise for the body and brain, then more merriment in Jiang Bing Lu bar

Actually had breakfast for a change as I was up late morning and Tan and I were to go to the gym at 1pm. This time I joined it properly, well a three month "season ticket" for 468 kuai as it was 330 kuai a month otherwise. Well worth it if I use it as much as in the UK. And no A/C makes you really sweat it out. Then for lunch I decided to boil the quail eggs I bought yesterday. Cheap and proteinful, perfect for after the gym.

After a shower I went for a bit of a walk with my Valencian shopping bag and my music in tow. The piano practice now feels as necessary exercise for my brain as the earlier gym trip was for my body. Except I find the former enjoyable, at least when pieces start coming together. Tea was a simple affair at home, which was slightly disappointing but I shouldn't really be going out to eat every evening (should I?). Then I took Tan to get her nails done, in a medical sense as she's got some fungal infection and needs to have them dressed every day before they can apply medication. I then drove her down to A Xia's shop and as we were slowly weaving through people and traffic she commented on how much she likes Pingguo. That's nice to hear as recently she's been a bit more critical of China. Also it's rare to agree on something!

So much for not going out. Lu zong had pinged me this morning to say we may be going back to his bar, but I'd not heard since. But then I checked his group chat (that I've muted) and saw that he'd been inviting mates to go over, so I thought "why not?" and biked it over there at 10pm but very gingerly as I hadn't managed to charge it up today after Leilei sent me the QR code.

Well it wasn't quite as raucous as yesterday, even though it was Friday, and I sat at a table with Lu zong and some other guys while Lu zong ordered a load a bbq. As per usual people came and people went, and I was one of the few option for beers rather than white alcohol. It had its effect and I took the initiative of table-hopping to a much bigger and busier table, and I found I knew nearly everyone at it so it was multiple ganbei time again. Presently someone called Huang Lei and although he'd already had a few, came over a bit later.

It turns being peckish into being ravenous

Chinese omelette with added fish eggs

I table-hopped again and this time I knew no-one at the table, though of course they all knew of me. We spent the best part of an hour chatting and cai ma'ing. One of the blokes said he was some sort of spinal doctor, and he said he could tell I had a spinal issue as my sitting stance was slightly crooked. Well I don't think I do sit crookedly, and I think I may have mentioned that I have sciatica already to him before he made such a diagnosis. But whatever, it ended up him applying pressure to various parts of my spine and I made no mention of double-blind experiments or whatever, and thanked him for his care.

Then it was back to the big table again now that Huang Lei had arrived, and yes of course the guitar was got out. At least I didn't have to go on stage this time. I managed to get through Mrs Robinson, The Boxer, and Sound of Silence. Well get through in sorts as I remember forgetting some of the lines and repeating others, but I daresay no-one noticed as it was about 2am and all were half cut.

I was next in line for the guitar...

So finally we dispersed around 2.30am and managed to get the dian dong che 3/4 of the way home before the batteries gave up, so I parked up and walked the last 5 minutes back for another late one.

Being mistaken for a professional football player

Lunch was takeaway jiaozi from the normal local place. I nodded hello to a bloke while getting some lajiao to take back with me and he asked if I was one of the Pingguo Haliao football players. I took this as a massive compliment as I'm 20+ years older than most of them, even the foreigners. This must be one of the few places in the world where I could be mistaken for a professional football player! Then he realised I was the Bangxu guye and said he knew Lu Wen, so I said next time he was with him to get him to call me and go for a bite.

But when I got back I realised I needed a poo but yesterday I had blocked the matong (western style) toilet due to the same reason and we don't have a plunger. So after having used the squatter I realised what today's shopping list was becoming: a new plunger, a reading light, a set of keys for Xixi, and something else. There's always something else that I forget. But it doesn't matter. Going to buy trivial stuff here is always a bit of fun. Most would-be trivial things are fun here, at least if they involve a bit of human interaction.

I rode down to the marketplace and straightaway found a shop selling plungers. I'd learnt the word matongba so asked for one but the bloke looked at me as if I was speaking another language. So I had to describe the problem and he reached up and unhooked exactly what I thought I'd asked for. I asked him what the word for this was and he used three syllables I'll never remember, but none of them anything like matongba. Sometimes it's just like that. Then one door down I found the same shop that I'd bought my reading light at back in November last year. I don't know where that one had gone in the meantime but I found an identical model and again the bloke would only accept 13 kuai instead of 15 it said on the box.

Then the heavens opened and I used my waterproof coat to cover the seat of the dian dong che and got Xixi's keys cut until it passed. Oh yes, that's what it was...the last thing. A towel for Xixi. This should be the easiest thing to find but after walking through the market and asking a few stallholders I was still towel-less, until eventually arriving at the first shop I'd been to and asking them. The bloke pointed above him and said "aren't they towels?". Ha, yes I guess they were but they were pretty small. I asked for the largest and it was barely more than a facecloth but I bought it anyway.

As I walked past a fruit-seller the lady called to me. Ah it was the woman I'd known since first coming here. She mentioned she'd moved shop recently (obviously) and then went to the back of the shop and fetched the photo Andge and I had presented her back in 2013, of her and two other market sellers and me in 2003. It's little interactions like these that make my day. I did feel a bit bad for Xixi's tiny towel though so popped in to Guanmart to get a proper sized one for 29 kuai, when Haiwei pinged me to eat with him and his new girlfriend at the youcha place by the guangchang. So that was the evening sorted.

She still has the photo we took 20 years ago but only gave to her 11 years ago

Back home it took a whole five seconds to unblock the loo, and I just wondered what happened to the old plunger.

I got to the youcha place fashionably late at 8.45 to a tableful of people I mostly didn't know. Haiwei's girlfriend is called Li Baoli and seems very nice and sociable, though wasn't drinking as apparently she'd had a heavy night last night. What's most important is that they seem really happy together. And I was happy to be there too...a relatively simple meal outside with some nice fish, though I avoided the youcha as I was told it would stop me sleeping. But Nong pinged me at 11pm to say she was at Lu zong's bar at Jiang Bing Lu, and as we were winding down I decided it would be polite to pop over.

But I didn't have the bike so decided I would finally try to use one of those blue hire bikes, but I couldn't get Weixin to sort it out properly. Leilei has used them before so I'm sure I should be able to do it, but I ended up walking the 20 minute walk there and getting there well after 11.30pm. Well getting to the wrong place (again) actually, but no worries I was soon shown where to go, and upstairs it was pretty raucous with all the tables full of people. And this was only a Thursday night.

I sat between Nong and Lu zong for a bit, ganbeiing until I needed to table-hop, and managed to avoid having to sing.  Lord knows it must have been 2.30am before I left the place to walk home. I think I would have left the bike had I taken it.

Back to piano practice and bbq with kids

As it was already nearly 5.30am I heated up the last of the bbq duck intestines and had that as a sort of breakfast before sleeping in till the early afternoon. Luckily, the jiaozi that Yangwen had made be bring back yesterday were a suitable lunch for the kids, and avoided the typical fast food delivery that has become the norm here.

Xixi modelling her new Pingguo Haliao shirt while eating yesterday's jiaozi

At 6.30pm I realised it had been a week since I last did any piano so went over to the place I used to practise at by Guanmart. I know some people find going to the gym addictive but I just don't get that, but the feeling of exercising the hands and mind by the ivories does give me a bit of a fix. Even if the piano is pretty badly out of tune, there's something about the physical action of playing it that does it for me. I'm still getting there with Mozart's K304 but even so. I guess my biggest challenge will be learning to read music properly, rather than doing it from memory. It's a bit like my next steps in Chinese. I'm going to have to focus properly as it won't just "come".

Back home I managed to get Xixi to come out with me to get some bbq at Tan's "uncle's" place. He says he's a genuine uncle but Tan disagrees. I don't really know what counts as an uncle any more. But even Leilei joined us after a few minutes as his tummy ache had gone, so for 100 kuai we gorged on pork and beef and sweetcorn, and still had some left to take home. More importantly we had some decent time together.

Tan's "uncle's" bbq place

In the evening it was back to football mode, so I stepped out to the place I was at last night and the same blokes were there, so I sat down with them to watch Ukraine Belgium. For some reason they were drinking beer incredibly slowly. Literally incredibly, like I've never experienced before here. And I was quite in the mood for a couple. But you can't really do much about it here as you always drink a mouthful at the same time. So by the end of the (rather boring) match I was as sober as a judge, and couldn't leave to go elsewhere as it was heaving it down. Well we stayed 20 minutes but it wasn't going to let up so one of the blokes just got in his car and I told the last bloke there that I'd walk back as it was only water, and said maybe we could meet back up for the England match Sunday night. If we do I'll make an effort to pay for it for once. Back home of course I couldn't sleep so watched Czechia v Türkiye and found I'd been mispronouncing both countries since they became known as they are now. Mispronouncing being a bit of a common issue with me, I'm told.

Waiting in vain for the rain to deplane (ok it doesn't make sense but it rhymes)

Lack of sleep and making jiaozi at Zhang Yangwen's

Well watching the footy was ok...it's not the first time I've done a 5amer this trip. But bloody heck I just couldn't sleep after that. Maybe a few minutes listening to physics videos but even counting in German and Spanish hardly had an effect. By 9am I had that weird, slightly hallucinatory feeling you sometimes get when you're ill, and it must have been bad as I questioned what I was doing in China. I worried that the newly-fixed A/C was too noisy and tried to work out how to quieten it. At least now I understand a significantly larger number of characters, and could see that 风速 meant "wind speed", which meant "fan speed". But setting it to its lowest level didn't change anything regarding volume. But recognising some characters on a remote control gave me a bit of a boost though, although it didn't result in any sleep. At lunchtime I made sure yesterday's beef pasty that had been delivered but not eaten didn't go to waste, washed down with a yoghurt and supplements.

风速, third down on the left. I can now read about half of these characters...progress of sorts

At 1pm Zhang Yangwen pinged to invite me to his place at 5pm to make dumplings. I answered honestly that if I got a siesta I'd come round. But by 4pm it was becoming unlikely to happen, although I did set my alarm for 4.50pm just in case. The alarm went but I hadn't gone to sleep to appreciate it so let Yangwen know I'd make it. It was definitely time to brew a couple of cups of that Lavazza coffee that Tan asked me to bring. But what was that sound? Oh yes Pingguo's heavens had opened and it was a total deluge at the moment. Haiwei had also pinged me to eat with him but I'd told him it would be more like 6.30pm due to a prior engagement.

But there was no way I was leaving the house, even in my raincoat, without getting soaked, and even Yangwen told me to wait it out a bit. An hour later it was perceivably less delugey so I made a start at 6.15pm and only my trousers got soaked at least. We met outside his apartment building, waited one minute for a mate to come, and went up to the 6th floor to find a couple of women busy making jiaozi. Well I'm quite glad I didn't make it for 5pm then. Of course I helped out, but I was much better at cutting out portions of dough to be rolling pinned than actually making the jiaozi.

Preparing for supper

Enjoying supper

It was a relatively simple, but enjoyable meal of the freshly-made jiaozi and some greens, although there was no beer so I had to drink some white alcohol with them, but it came out of a glass jar where it had been aging for a while and was a bit yellow so not the usual foul stuff. I was under no pressure to get to Haiwei's as he'd pinged me to say a matter had arisen and he was no longer about, so after the meal we sat down to drink tea. Except everyone said they wouldn't take tea for fear of not sleeping. I didn't have that fear for once, but must have looked knackered as Yangwen said I needed to get home and get some rest.

So back home I duly fell asleep from 9.30 to 11.30pm, then went out to watch the football at a bar across the road. I came across a few blokes watching and was invited over for drinks with them. I was more interested in the Holland v Austria match, but they were focused on France v Poland as some of them had put bets on. When that match ended 1-1 one of the blokes told me he'd just lost 3000 kuai! Maybe the place would have stayed open for the England - Slovenia match but these blokes called it a night soon after 2am. Fair enough. I walked around a bit later but the places with people didn't have tvs and the places with tvs didn't have many people. It's been quite rainy recently too, otherwise there may have been more out. So rather than miss the match looking around, I came home and stayed up till 5am+ to watch the dross that was England 0 - 0 Slovenia. I'm trying to remember if I've ever seen a good England match while in China. I hope my being here isn't a curse.

I could see that Euro 2024 was available on our tv but the bloody remote doesn't allow you to go right!

Jackfruit and pork scratching

I got up at 10ish and Tan asked if I was coming to the gym. I seriously thought about it and wouldn't have regretted it but this time I listened to my body, who said he needed more sleep. Which I did until 1.30pm, and managed a coffee and small zongzi for lunch. It was as well that I had a small meal as Li Kun pinged to ask what I was doing and to come over to eat jackfruit and drink tea. At least with him I can be pretty confident he means what he says.

As the dian dong che was charging I left on foot and met Leilei coming back from Li Kun's where he'd been working on his music again, picking up from last year. Li Kun's place was its usual lively self and his colleague Haiyang was there in particularly high spirits; she doesn't seem to know there is a volume level below 11 when she talks. I thought I'd had jackfruit before but didn't recognise it. It was particularly sweet and lovely so I could only manage two of them but also had some great pork scratching - one piece of which was more than you'd get in a whole pack in a British pub. Nong had pinged me to eat with her and her friend from last night but then pinged me to say she was eating with someone else. I wasn't sure if this meant I was still to come or not but Li Kun said it definitely wasn't the case, so I'm obviously still learning some of the culture here.

Proper pork crackling and jackfruit. Both great but maybe not ideal together

Earlier, Zhang Yangwen, my retired friend from outside Pingguo had pinged me to go for a walk in the evening as he is wont to do when he is in Pingguo. I hadn't confirmed as I wasn't sure if I was going to eat with Nong, but as Li Kun had just explained to me that I wasn't, at least I could confirm I'd meet up with him after a bite to eat at home. Of course I got to the tennis courts a bit late, by which time he was back at 老年活动中心 so we met there, walked to his house to drop off some rice as you do, before we walked one lap of the guangchang together and said goodnight.

It wasn't yet 9pm, so instead of going home I went to racist Huang's to find him and a couple of mates playing mopai with white alcohol. Well they were playing with cards but the losers drank white alcohol. I was shouted over to join them in drink at least and was told to get my own bottle of beer from the fridge. I got a rather large Li Quan 1998 and had a nice first proper gan bei with him this visit. For some reason they didn't want me to join them playing cards, rather just drink with whoever lost each round, which sort of meant I was the de facto loser every time. As I got my second bottle of 1998 they moved on to beer too, but picked up some smaller bottles also labelled 1998. I had a look and they were 2.8% as expected, but then they pointed to mine and it was 3.6%. I'd always assumed 1998 was a single version of Li Quan, and not that there were sub-versions of it. I'll be careful to check in the future as my sub-version was literally 35% stronger, and that could make a big difference during a long evening.

Huang and mates in full swing

But halfway through my second bottle I got a message from Xixi saying she couldn't open the front door of the house. Heaven knows I had that problem last time I was here but at least now it was 10pm rather than 2.30am. On my way back I passed a couple of blokes drinking who called me over as apparently I knew them. I explained I would stop for a quick ganbei after helping my daughter enter the house, but just as I was approaching it I got a message to say she was in. She didn't realise you had to push instead of pull...after all this time?? At least it's not only adults that make such mistakes...except she is one now.

So a couple of minutes later I was sitting down with the the two blokes and eating some of their bbq fish as you do. The problem was I was still there an hour later and had forgotten to go back to racist Huang. Somehow I don't think that will have been a problem though...he was half-cut the time I left and could have been quite annoying had I gone back later.

Bbq fish and greens and the second port of call of the evening

Back home I hoped I'd get an earlyish night, but no...sleep didn't rear its head so I took advantage by watching Croatia v Italy till gone 5am to see the Italians break Croatian hearts with a well-taken 98th minute goal, and feeling peckish I heated up some of the leftover bbq from yesterday and feasted on duck tongues as you do.

Last afternoon of A Wu's mama's funeral and Nong KTV

A decent night's sleep allowed me to get up at 8ish, and after some breakfast Tan said she was going to the gym at 11am so I said I'd come too. After yesterday I wanted to burn some of it off. 

But first, as I was up, I went to the old people's leisure centre, which I now know is actually called 老年活动中心. Of course a few of them recognised me and within 2 minutes I was put on a table, and despite switching partners a few times, stayed on for over an hour, till one of the best players in the room wiped the floor with me, almost literally.

Back home I would have gone for a shower but Tan and I were to go to the gym so I sweated about for bit before going there. As she's paid for a personal trainer she has access to the VIP suite which is air conditioned and has free water. I'd brought my own water and wanted to sweat it off so went to the normal place. Tan gave a demo of a couple of the strength machines but when she went I couldn't work out how to operate some others so I ended up on the elliptical, which is what I wanted to do anyway. I managed 30 mins and 7.4km, and decided I would join this gym for the two months we're here.

Seated leg curl? For biceps?

Not sure how true the 7.4lm was but it was 30 mins

Tan was angry that my last year's mango video had been used to promote a mango company and tried to lodge a complaint but it wasn't upheld. Now one of the women who took me to the mango jie last year has contacted me about making money from doing this... I told Tan I'd had fun doing it and it was all harmless. I daresay nothing will come of this....

Back home after a shower I pinged A Wu to ask if he'd eaten and he told me to come down to his mum's where we'd ate yesterday. It's wasn't yet 1pm but a few blokes from last night were there around a table with beers and made me sit with them. I wondered if I hadn't pinged A Wu would he have invited me over anyway? I was certainly met with smiles as though I was meant to be there. I was told some people had stayed late enough to watch the 3am footy this morning, but there was still plenty of beer, which we were trying to make less of. After 90 mins of so we stopped eating and drinking and tidied up. I understood that A Wu's family owned next door too, which was a furniture shop and for the next hour we all set upon moving the furniture into the shop we'd just eaten in. Not really the sort of work you want to be doing at the hottest part of the day.

Then, the round table was set up again and food put on again. Two of the blokes responsible for the cooking were there and drinking faster than I could catch up with, so I formed an excuse that I needed to pop home for a "matter" and I'd be back in 20. It was a good idea as I could pick up a commemorative £2 coin for A Wu, one of a handful I brought this time as they are lighter than booze and a bit more unique. Tan was at home and I asked her if the meal was part of the funeral celebrations and she answered in the affirmative, so at least that justified me going back for a few beers. She also told me that we had another funeral, a baby celebration, and Chuan Chuan's wedding registration celebration on the 1st, 3rd, and 26th of July, and that it would be 1000 kuai each (not for each one I hope).

A Wu appreciated the gift, and shook my hand, something he rarely does, but he'd been drinking on and off since the early afternoon. Indeed so had I to some extent so at a reasonably early time I headed home flagging. By rights I should have fallen asleep but Tan came back at 9.30pm with a load of bbq for the kids. Nong had pinged me to go to KTV and I'd said I wasn't too sure but I got a bit of a second wind after the bbq and decided to make the effort and walk over as Leilei had taken the bike. It wasn't much past 10.30pm but I was a bit surprised to find her alone there. This has almost never happened before, and it makes the room feel really empty. But we had a couple of beers and I invited Li Kun, who said he'd make it with two others, and I think Nong was happy with that. A woman turned up who was probably the first female friend I've known Nong to have; she is much more of a mate in that sense.

Well Li Kun turned up with the singer mate I've known for years, and presently a few more people did too. Not a sell-out by any means and after a couple of beers the singing started properly and we didn't leave till well gone 2am. At least I hadn't missed any footy as there were only two late games on tonight and I watched the miserable Scots get sent home. Not that much less miserable so far than England though. And as there was still bbq left from yesterday I munched on a bit of that as hadn't had so much at the KTV. I noticed Tan getting a shower at halftime so realised her flight must be pretty early to Xi'an where her and some ex-colleagues are having a mini-reunion tomorrow.

Nong can give it a fair whack!

A Wu's mama's funeral

Well I did manage to get up 7am after 5 hours' sleep but I wasn't going to believe the false dawn that is thinking I've beaten jetlag. Tan was up and I knew she was going to the funeral too and had already paid for us. For some reason I thought she was going with me but she went for a shower at 8.30am and when she got out she told me to hurry up and go on my own as she would only join for a meal in the evening. Shit, I got on the dian dong che and made it bang on 9am and of course all the blokes were there, as well as various members of A Wu's family of both sexes. I had no idea what was going to happen and wasn't sure asking about it would be the right thing to do. But eating breakfast was the right thing, and apparently, according to tradition, I had to eat two or three bowls. I don't normally do breakfast but reasoned for my body it was more like 2am as if that justified it, and managed a bowl with noodles and one without.

Breakfast before the funeral

As usual there was a lot of sitting about chatting, then a van turned up and a bloke with a light blue shirt got out so I guessed he was some arm of the police. He stood outside the house with the alter and body and started writing in an official-looking book. I offered him a bottle of water which he accepted, but I didn't have the bottle to ask him what he was doing, even though it was very likely he was some sort of death registrar.

I understood the van was to take the body, and started to get quite worried. The A Da came up to me and gave me a hug, as he sometimes does. But then the "close" family were called to go into the house and stand around the body, in front of which lay an open coffin being blessed. I stood near the open door and stared at my shoes. I'm familiar with a lot of this culture but I'm aware some cultures are ok to be close to dead bodies and even have them uncovered, and I didn't want to see that. I hoped they would coffinise the covered corpse while I was still studying my shoes.

The shoe studying went on for a few minutes. I'd at least put on some black canvas ones I'd left last time, but many others were in trainers or slippers. Then I heard "Doini" again from Huang Lei as I and four others were beckoned over to where the body was. I felt physically sick, but reasoned I had to be strong for my friends/family so duly walked over. I was stationed in the middle of three of us on one side, and understood we were to pick up the body and put it in the coffin. Jeez, but at least she appeared to be on some kind of simple stretcher, so we could grasp that rather than anything else. She was light, but we didn't make light work of it as obviously things had to be done very carefully. I was so relieved when we'd finally lowered her in, and another couple of blokes set upon putting the the coffin lid on. That meant the second part of carrying the coffin into the van was a bit less scary. It wasn't long gone 10am but if someone had offered me a drink I might well have accepted. In fact someone had offered me a beer at 9am when I got here but I  waved it off thinking it was a joke. After what just happened it might not have been.

After more waiting around five of us got into Boss Liang's Renault Koleos and drove a good 20 minutes to some funeral place. Here I met Bak Sec Zai for the first time in years and we had a hug in the now boiling heat. Plenty of water bottles were handed out and I did my job doing the same. Now that I had calmed down a bit I started to appreciate how much I really have been accepted here, despite mainly only being here a month or so each year.

I went for walk around the buildings and then saw to my chagrin that there were two or three halls in which the middle was full of flowers except for a coffin-sized area with a clear plastic cover. Oh no, they couldn't be going to have a last viewing of the body could they? Would I be able to avoid this? It was a good 45 minutes before the next movement, during which I mostly chatted to Bak Sec Zai and a couple of other elder people. But then we started to move to one of those halls.... And yes, the coffin was there with the lid off, but the covers had been rearranged in such a way that I think, and only think, she might have only been exposed on one side. We all stood in rows at the foot of the coffin and I was in the third one, mostly shoe-studying again. It would have been an even more moving ceremony had I understood it better, and there was a lot of bowing. About 15 minutes later the first row started walking around the coffin, followed by the second, then ours and the rest, in single file. The first row comprised A Wu and siblings, and they stopped when they got round to the other side of the coffin to face the deceased. To my somewhat relief, from the second row on we walked up to the first row and shook hands with each of the closest relatives. So at least when I was shaking hands with each of them it was with my back to the coffin. And then after that we slowly walked back outside.

So it was back to more waiting, chatting, and drinking water for another half an hour. While we were waiting we saw another group go up and pick up an urn, then the front row from before went to another door of the same building and I was pretty sure it was where the cremation was taking place. Finally at well gone 1pm A Wu's elder brother and him went up to pick up their mother's urn, and for a last time we went to an alter, lit joss sticks, bowed, and said our last goodbyes.

Back at A Wu's mum's house there were many tables set up on both sides of the road, most now with food. It wasn't busy yet, but a number of us needed lunch so sat down to do that. It didn't take long for the beers to be poured though. Gradually, as the afternoon drew to the early evening, more people came, including Tan who said she was starving. I saw Boss Zhou at a table on the other side of the road and brought Tan over to introduce her to him, and of course they found they went to the same secondary school but were in different forms of the same year.

At various times of the day we had to wash our hands in water with these grapefruit leaves in order to wash off any evil and ghostly stuff from the funeral. I didn't realise this water was very hot and nearly burnt myself, or rather hopefully any ghosts...

I think this is traditional Guangxi funeral garb for the sons and daughters of the deceased. They wore the hats and white capes pretty much all day long

Preparing food for the wake

Tan was allowed to go after eating, but as a "close" member of the family I had more socialising to do, and I managed to till about 11pm when I was flaking so left about then and was asleep half an hour later.

Sorting priorities: dengji, A/C, cash, football

I woke up at 9am to my phone going off and for some reason answered it. It was some bloke saying something about being a teacher. I was a bit groggy and told him to repeat a bit slower but he kept going on at the same speed. So I told him I didn't speak Chinese very well and he just hung up. Given that only three people know my new number I have no idea how he had it. Yes it was probably an advertisement I suppose. At least it will remind me to put my phone on silent. Except I didn't, and fell asleep again until Tan woke me up with a call at nearly 11am. "Where are you?". I was honest and told her I was in a hotel, which didn't go down very well, but I quickly followed up with the explanation about the A/C and said I'd be back in a few minutes as she'd already come back to Pingguo (early than she'd said).

Back home the first thing I did was grab our passports and took the freshly charged bike (yes, the new charger was what we needed) to the police place in the south of the city to get our dengji. This time the process took not much more than 30 minutes, after Mong or her colleague found my document from a few months ago. So, officially registered for the umpteenth time, I headed back to focus on the second highest priority of the moment: the A/C. I explained to Jiuma, who'd also come back, that I'd used the remote to turn it on but only the door-thing opened and nothing came out. Tan then plugged it in and the whole thing came to life, and it made me look like a bit of an idiot. I argued I'd been playing with it for half an hour, including unplugging and re-plugging as you do, then "luckily" the thing stopped working. This time it wouldn't come back to life, which shouldn't be a good thing but justified my actions at least.

Jiuma made a phone call and said someone would be round later to look at it. Indeed an hour later a bloke came and after I explained the symptoms (it wasn't really that hard) he opened it up and said the "ban" was the problem. Of course I had no idea what a "ban" was but I worked out it must be some sort of circuit board. He tried to fix it but said it would need to be replaced and he'd be back in a bit with a new one. Indeed, I've since found out a circuit board is indeed a 电路板 (dianlu ban). An hour later it was working again, albeit with a new remote. The third priority was now to sort out money. My Revolut card was refused by a couple of ATMs so I had to use HSBC, but yeah, first world problems. I wish they were a bit more crypto-friendly though. This time I've actually paid for our Mullvad VPN with crypto (before we left) so pretty cool.

Fixing the A/C with a new 电路板

At 6.30 Feng ge pinged me to show where to meet and to say we'd meet at 7.10, so I had a wee tipple and left at 7pm only to be called over to a table outside what I was soon to learn was a newly opened restaurant, or at least it had a new boss. The whole place was celebrating the occasion and I was dragged to a table and sat down with a bottle of beer and made to do the expected ganbeis. Luckily I hadn't actually eaten much so availed myself of some of the goodies on the table before being whisked off to another table to rinse and repeat. Luckily again, I noticed Feng ge had pinged me again to say he was running late and to meet at 7.20.

My excuse for nearly being late for the football...

By 7.25 I made my excuses and after a few more ganbeis was allowed to leave, and after a couple of calls met up with Feng ge 15 minutes later outside the stadium where we could hear them calling out the names of the players. We were back at the Wu Ming supporters side and although not as full as last year it was still a great atmosphere. We got off to an amazing start and after 19 minutes our Brazilian Giovanny had scored a hat-trick at the goal we were behind! The second half wasn't quite so good, as has been the story of too many of our games recently, with the defence apparently tiring. But hey, we managed a 4-3 victory thanks to a Giovanny 4th, against a top-tier team.

Cracking result and best game I've been to so far

Next Feng ge ordered a didi che to go to see some mates and drink beer for a while opposite Yu Jing Hua Ting, and at 10.30pm saw I had a missed call from A Wu, who'd then sent me a weizhi. But I couldn't leave Feng ge so soon after getting to his office so stayed for a few beers first before pinging A Wu at just gone midnight to see if he was still out. Indeed he was, so I took the bike down to near Matou Shan where I heard Huang Lei shout "Doini" which is about as close as he's ever got to my English name. So I pulled up and joined them sitting at a table outside, where A Wu was wearing one of those paddy field hats. Then I had a bit of a shock as inside one of the shops/houses next to us was another funeral alter but this time with a (covered) dead body behind it.

Upside-down wheat beer at Feng ge's office as you do

It transpired it was A Wu's mother's funeral this weekend, and we went to pay our respects the same way as two days ago in Bangxu. It would have been nice to have a little advance warning. But it is what it is, and we went back to the table to eat. I'm not sure wearing a football top was most appropriate but others were in casual clothes so I didn't worry too much. I did worry when Huang Lei told me that as a "close" family member, and being male, I would need to come back tomorrow morning before 9am for the funeral itself. So I probably should have gone home earlier than 1.30am.

Tan's aunt's funeral at Bangxu

Woke up to Tan shouting that a car had arrived to take us to her aunt's funeral in Bangxu. But after a sweaty night I indeed needed a shower. In fact the car hadn't arrived, but after my shower her big brother did arrive, who was due to take us. So I sorted my stuff and got into the car only to find I didn't have my phone with me. I said I'd quickly run and pick it up but was told everyone was waiting for us in Bangxu, but I couldn't picture a day out without the phone (not least for taking pictures) so I ran up but couldn't find it after 20 seconds so thought I'd have to live without it. Back in the car I was told we weren't going any more due to my time wasting but I laughed it off and told big brother to drive. Well I didn't exactly laugh it off but didn't take the suggestion of not going very seriously. And anyway a few seconds later I found my phone plugged in to my power bank in my bag and felt a bit sheepish about that but didn't tell anyone I hadn't found it inside so they weren't to know.

In my two China trips since last summer I've been to Bangxu a few times now on the new road and it's under an hour in a decent car, so we arrived around 2pm. I don't know how many people knew this aunty or were related to her but quite a few of them came and went. The "sons and daughters" all wore yellow bib-like things with a yellow hat, and other relatives were wearing a white hat, one of which was duly given to me to put on.  But first we did the respectful thing of lighting three joss sticks and putting them on the alter, then pouring a little bit of white alcohol into three little glasses. It's slightly funny that even for teetotallers they still have this tradition. Maybe there aren't any teetotallers in heaven.

Apparently the horse is a gift from the daughters to take the aunt to heaven

Me pouring some alcohol and Xixi doing incense

Then a small parade of what looked a bit like five or six shamans (yeah, not shamen apparently) started bashing symbols and walking around the place, sometimes behind the alter. I thought about asking questions about how and why they were doing this but I've come to accept that sometimes you just accept stuff. I probably wouldn't have got consistent answers had I asked more than one person anyway. But it did go on for about 15 minutes and started to affect my hearing.

There were at least two of these

There was a lot of waiting around, as always seems to be the case a weddings and funerals abroad, and the kids weren't too interested so Leilei took Xixi off on a dian dong che while I walked around and chatted with some locals. I found they were cooking for another large village meal which we were to join around 4pm so I needn't have worried about only having one pasty for lunch earlier. Then Tan said the four of us were to go to her parents' bone-grave. The kids had their dian dong che and there was one other tiny one that I feared wouldn't take both Tan and me but someone pointed to a sun lun che and for the first time ever I rode one of those. And nearly crashed it straightaway as there were no brakes on the handlebars as I'm used to on a bike, and only just found the foot brake in time. And only a few minutes later we were there and lighting joss sticks and bowing again, but this time a lot more moving as we actually all knew Waipo so well. Interestingly for me, the tombstone, or equivalent of a tombstone, had a lot of family members' names engraved into it, including mine, Tan's and the kids'. I think this is the most Chinese thing I've ever "done" not that I really did anything except marry their daughter. But seeing my Chinese name in that context felt quite special, and made me feel like I (and the kids) belong a bit more, and in a more genuine way.

The kids on their way to Tan's parents' grave

Blessing the grandparents with incense

Our names are on the tombstone...makes us have a much greater sense of belonging

Back in the hamlet area lots of people in yellow bibs were in the next-door house were the shaman were doing their percussion and one of them was chanting something. Every so often we would all bow in unison, and sometimes he would spin around on his feet and we'd all bow again. It was probably an ancient custom and I feel somewhat privileged to have been part of it. Finally 4pm arrived but we were told that there were too many people and we'd have to wait for a table to be empty. Fair enough. There was a bloke taking money, but Tan had told me she'd already paid. I didn't ask how much.

Another part of the ceremony

A few minutes later we were sitting down with some more relatives. If I recall correctly there were two brothers whose mother was married to Tan's dad's brother, or was it their father married to Tan's dad's sister? The kids were sort of ok for the shortish meal but clearly wanted to head back as it was really scorchio as the sun had emerged and Leilei had already got sunburnt within a few minutes on the dian dong che. But Er Jie brought round some cold beers and thankfully two of the other blokes at the table helped me to get through them. A cold fizzy beer reaches parts that lukewarm water just doesn't. As is usual people, including Tan, came to sit down to eat as others left the table, but the beer drinkers stayed and Tan didn't even moan as they knocked back half glasses pretty quickly, even for my liking. But it was 2.8% and I barely got tipsy before it was time for A Heng to drive us back, as Tan and her siblings had to stay the night for more funeral stuff, and she said she'd be back in Pingguo tomorrow around midday. Except Er Jie also came with us as she needed to do some dancing practice, so I'm not sure how important it really was to stay in Bangxu.

Meal after the funeral in Bangxu

Anyway we got back and I went for my first Pingguo walk this year after finally working out that it was probably the charger that wasn't working, and not my ignorance of how to use the app to charge. So I walked to the place I got it from last year and they confirmed it wasn't working, probably due to being left in the rain, which probably accounts for most chargers not working in this climate. They sold me a new one for 50 kuai and then a minute later as I was walking out I heard my name being shouted out from the market area and it was one of Lin Hong's friends from where I had eaten a few times over the New Year. It was getting on for 8pm so I sat down with them for a nice bite to eat and a beer and a chat before I thought to check with the owner of the clothes shop what time she was open till. 9.30pm, so I walked over to where I thought it was and found I'd lost my memory a bit, but I got a message from her saying she'd just seen me walk past, and then was waiting for me outside when I got there. To be fair last year she had Pingguo Haliao football tops in the window, and that's what I was looking for. But she did have them in stock and even Xixi wanted one this year, and when I sent a photo of it later even Andge wanted a couple for the kids. So that was the one thing I wanted to sort out today as we're playing Wuhan San Zhen (from the top league) in the fourth round of the Chinese FA Cup tomorrow evening and Feng ge has got me a ticket.

The new top for 2024 is even classier than last year's on the left IMO

But on a football theme it was the Denmark v England game at midnight, and luckily I'd left my 2003/2005 reversible England kit here as I hadn't brought another. When was the last time an international kit, or even a professional kit lasted more than a year I wonder? Strangely, I hadn't got specific plans to watch it with anyone, but that wouldn't be a problem. But the A/C not working in the bedroom was a problem I wouldn't be able to find anyone to fix at getting on for 11pm, so I just booked a hotel for 160 kuai (60 kuai discount from Trip for using them to get the flights - not exactly massive). So after I checked in I walked up past racist Huang's place but he'd already shut up shot, but not 30 yards away I spied a screen and people on the pavement watching, and before I got there the first table shouted me over to watch with them. Like so many others, I'd drunk with them before but didn't remember. them They said they were friends of A Wu, but that's like saying you drive a black car, which could be half of the city. But it was a great time if not a great watch, especially the second half. England have a habit of disappointing me when I watch them play in China. But a draw was almost definitely enough to get to the next round, so I've probably got two matches to go, though the next one at 3am will be tough to stay up for. I did manage most of the first half of the Spain Italy match in the hotel though.

So nice to be watching footy outside in the barmy 1am heat...other than the quality of the match that is...