Woke up to Tan shouting that a car had arrived to take us to her aunt's funeral in Bangxu. But after a sweaty night I indeed needed a shower. In fact the car hadn't arrived, but after my shower her big brother did arrive, who was due to take us. So I sorted my stuff and got into the car only to find I didn't have my phone with me. I said I'd quickly run and pick it up but was told everyone was waiting for us in Bangxu, but I couldn't picture a day out without the phone (not least for taking pictures) so I ran up but couldn't find it after 20 seconds so thought I'd have to live without it. Back in the car I was told we weren't going any more due to my time wasting but I laughed it off and told big brother to drive. Well I didn't exactly laugh it off but didn't take the suggestion of not going very seriously. And anyway a few seconds later I found my phone plugged in to my power bank in my bag and felt a bit sheepish about that but didn't tell anyone I hadn't found it inside so they weren't to know.
In my two China trips since last summer I've been to Bangxu a few times now on the new road and it's under an hour in a decent car, so we arrived around 2pm. I don't know how many people knew this aunty or were related to her but quite a few of them came and went. The "sons and daughters" all wore yellow bib-like things with a yellow hat, and other relatives were wearing a white hat, one of which was duly given to me to put on. But first we did the respectful thing of lighting three joss sticks and putting them on the alter, then pouring a little bit of white alcohol into three little glasses. It's slightly funny that even for teetotallers they still have this tradition. Maybe there aren't any teetotallers in heaven.
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| Apparently the horse is a gift from the daughters to take the aunt to heaven |
Then a small parade of what looked a bit like five or six shamans (yeah, not shamen apparently) started bashing symbols and walking around the place, sometimes behind the alter. I thought about asking questions about how and why they were doing this but I've come to accept that sometimes you just accept stuff. I probably wouldn't have got consistent answers had I asked more than one person anyway. But it did go on for about 15 minutes and started to affect my hearing.
There was a lot of waiting around, as always seems to be the case at weddings and funerals abroad, and the kids weren't too interested so Leilei took Xixi off on a dian dong che while I walked around and chatted with some locals. I found they were cooking for another large village meal which we were to join around 4pm so I needn't have worried about only having one pasty for lunch earlier. Then Tan said the four of us were to go to her parents' bone-grave. The kids had their dian dong che and there was one other tiny one that I feared wouldn't take both Tan and me but someone pointed to a sun lun che and for the first time ever I rode one of those. And nearly crashed it straightaway as there were no brakes on the handlebars as I'm used to on a bike, and only just found the foot brake in time. And only a few minutes later we were there and lighting joss sticks and bowing again, but this time a lot more moving as we actually all knew Waipo so well. Interestingly for me, the tombstone, or equivalent of a tombstone, had a lot of family members' names engraved into it, including mine, Tan's and the kids'. I think this is the most Chinese thing I've ever "done" not that I really did anything except marry their daughter. But seeing my Chinese name in that context felt quite special, and made me feel like I (and the kids) belong a bit more, and in a more genuine way.
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| The kids on their way to Tan's parents' grave |
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| Blessing the grandparents with incense |
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| Our names are on the tombstone...makes us have a much greater sense of belonging |
Back in the hamlet area lots of people in yellow bibs were in the next-door house were the shaman were doing their percussion and one of them was chanting something. Every so often we would all bow in unison, and sometimes he would spin around on his feet and we'd all bow again. It was probably an ancient custom and I feel somewhat privileged to have been part of it. Finally 4pm arrived but we were told that there were too many people and we'd have to wait for a table to be empty. Fair enough. There was a bloke taking money, but Tan had told me she'd already paid. I didn't ask how much.
A few minutes later we were sitting down with some more relatives. If I recall correctly there were two brothers whose mother was married to Tan's dad's brother, or was it their father married to Tan's dad's sister? The kids were sort of ok for the shortish meal but clearly wanted to head back as it was really scorchio as the sun had emerged and Leilei had already got sunburnt within a few minutes on the dian dong che. But Er Jie brought round some cold beers and thankfully two of the other blokes at the table helped me to get through them. A cold fizzy beer reaches parts that lukewarm water just doesn't. As is usual people, including Tan, came to sit down to eat as others left the table, but the beer drinkers stayed and Tan didn't even moan as they knocked back half glasses pretty quickly, even for my liking. But it was 2.8% and I barely got tipsy before it was time for A Heng to drive us back, as Tan and her siblings had to stay the night for more funeral stuff, and she said she'd be back in Pingguo tomorrow around midday. Except Er Jie also came with us as she needed to do some dancing practice, so I'm not sure how important it really was to stay in Bangxu.
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| Meal after the funeral in Bangxu |
Anyway we got back and I went for my first Pingguo walk this year after finally working out that it was probably the charger that wasn't working, and not my ignorance of how to use the app to charge. So I walked to the place I got it from last year and they confirmed it wasn't working, probably due to being left in the rain, which probably accounts for most chargers not working in this climate. They sold me a new one for 50 kuai and then a minute later as I was walking out I heard my name being shouted out from the market area and it was one of Lin Hong's friends from where I had eaten a few times over the New Year. It was getting on for 8pm so I sat down with them for a nice bite to eat and a beer and a chat before I thought to check with the owner of the clothes shop what time she was open till. 9.30pm, so I walked over to where I thought it was and found I'd lost my memory a bit, but I got a message from her saying she'd just seen me walk past, and then was waiting for me outside when I got there. To be fair last year she had Pingguo Haliao football tops in the window, and that's what I was looking for. But she did have them in stock and even Xixi wanted one this year, and when I sent a photo of it later even Andge wanted a couple for the kids. So that was the one thing I wanted to sort out today as we're playing Wuhan San Zhen (from the top league) in the fourth round of the Chinese FA Cup tomorrow evening and Feng ge has got me a ticket.
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| The new top for 2024 is even classier than last year's on the left IMO |
But on a football theme it was the Denmark v England game at midnight, and luckily I'd left my 2003/2005 reversible England kit here as I hadn't brought another. When was the last time an international kit, or even a professional kit lasted more than a year I wonder? Strangely, I hadn't got specific plans to watch it with anyone, but that wouldn't be a problem. But the A/C not working in the bedroom was a problem I wouldn't be able to find anyone to fix at getting on for 11pm, so I just booked a hotel for 160 kuai (60 kuai discount from Trip for using them to get the flights - not exactly massive). So after I checked in I walked up past racist Huang's place but he'd already shut up shot, but not 30 yards away I spied a screen and people on the pavement watching, and before I got there the first table shouted me over to watch with them. Like so many others, I'd drunk with them before but didn't remember them They said they were friends of A Wu, but that's like saying you drive a black car, which could be half of the city. But it was a great time if not a great watch, especially the second half. England have a habit of disappointing me when I watch them play in China. But a draw was almost definitely enough to get to the next round, so I've probably got two matches to go, though the next one at 3am will be tough to stay up for. I did manage most of the first half of the Spain Italy match in the hotel though.
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| So nice to be watching footy outside in the barmy 1am heat...other than the quality of the match that is... |
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