Meal with Huang and KTV before late night

Well I was awake at a half decent time and decided to do another stint of dumbbell exercises...this time focusing on the arms. A friend pinged me to meet up during this so I thought why not but finished the exercises first.

I'd had a portion of jiaozi after the exercise as really felt I needed to consume more than I have been, but by 6pm I was starving again. At 7pm I went to see racist Huang who was happy to see me and we shared some glasses of tea so I suggested having a bite and he said sure, but at 8pm. I couldn't wait that long so at 7.30pm I told him I'd be back in half an hour and went home to devour the rest of the monkey nuts and three quail eggs.

I got back to Huang's Beihai place and had a really nice meal with him and his family and colleagues. Nice because there was nothing special about it - just a simple huoguo and decent company. I was pretty restrained with three bottles of beer in the 80 minutes I was there, as they drank their baijiu. A friend had pinged me to say their friend had invited me to go to sing song. Well a friend of a friend is a friend I suppose, but I'm not sure how they invited me if they didn't know me. Anyway, at 9pm I was told to go over but in the end I didn't leave till nearly 10pm.

Pleasant huoguo with Huang and workers

Huang and his workers told me not to take the dian dong che to the KTV place as there were police doing breathalysers. I thought this was unlikely but out of respect took their advice and left on foot. As it was there were indeed many police stopping vehicles just outside the KTV place so I was pretty glad as I might have imbibed a little V&C before going to Huang's as well. Not that I would have been stopped in all likelihood due to the colour of my skin.

I turned up at the KTV room to find I was only the 3rd person! So much for being told to hurry up! The birthday boy was very happy I was there though and we shared a few ganbeis for a few minutes until a load of women turned up. Gosh I try not to be too gender-aware but it's so much nicer at a KTV place with mostly women (and one little kid). It was genuinely nice to chat with them and then we started playing cai ma as gradually more people (including blokes) arrived. I didn't get too tipsy though as held my own at cai ma despite playing as a team. Although I had planned on getting back at 10pm (haha) it was 1.30am in the end and was about to have a chat with the lads when I fell fast asleep.

Until 6am that was. For some reason I was wide awake so Awl called me a bit later and I guess because I was in holiday mode I finished the V&C I'd poured earlier and then maybe had another or two before finally getting to sleep properly at 8am.

Exercise at last

So much for going out at 10am as A Wu had mentioned last night, though I wasn't going to plan my day around a drunken suggestion. However, I had no other plans so noticed that the 49ers v Packers game was on so found a decent stream and realised other than ping pong I'd done no exercise for over a week so managed to get my way through a dumbbell session during the second half.

After a shower and some nuts and a yoghurt I walked through the cold drizzle down to A Xia's shop to pick up two pairs of leggings for Tan and drop off a box of Naproxen as is becoming normal for each trip. On the way I picked up some local dried beef as I realised I'd not had a proper meal and should really try to bulk up after doing the weights.

Awl rang WhatsApp just as I got home but although my phone showed the call I guess the actual answering or voice protocol that is used is currently blocked. But my laptop was still connected to the VPN so at least I could answer on that. Annoyingly I found the expensive beef (37 kuai for 102g) was many tiny bits of meat each individually wrapped in truly typical style, and they were slightly too spicy for my liking. But hey, it's protein. Luckily I'd left over some protein powder and creatine from last summer so I had that as well. The chat with Awl descended into a couple of beers for me, so after the call and a couple more I finally managed a siesta around 5.30-7pm.

Strangely I'd not been invited out and it was a weekend. I wasn't complaining though, and at 9.30pm went to pick up my cleaned Converse, and on the way back popped into the local medicine shop where they were drinking tea and beckoned me in when they saw me passing. We were talking about Bangxu as one of the women was from there. She mentioned a festival that was to take place next month. I asked if it was the same one Lin Hong had conscripted me into and indeed it was. Oh dear. Tan had called earlier and said it was a massive event for all of Guangxi, and I would be singing in the equivalent of Trafalgar Square to "thousands". Now Tan is one to exaggerate at times but now I was really nervous. Erjie has been practising dancing for months for this event and I'm going to be on the agenda now too.

Other than that it was a nice chinwag for half an hour or so, and I quite enjoyed the segments of oranges they put in warm water as they don't tend to like consuming cold stuff when the weather is too. I popped opposite to pick up some bin bags and beer and got home where a bit later had a chat and a quiz with the lads and finished off the spicy beef. I'd not had a proper meal all day and got to sleep well after 2.30am.

Xin Pingguo!

Bloody up at 7am and tried in vain to sleep in but my body was not really having it so got out of bed at 10 wishing I'd made the effort to go to ping pong. At least it should have been be easy to get a siesta after three Li Quans after a light lunch of monkey nuts and a couple of quail eggs.

But at 2.30pm A Wu called me. Apparently there was an event on to do with "New Pingguo" at the Ping Lu International Hotel, and did I want to go? I wanted to sleep, but thought that maybe the experience shouldn't be missed although I had no idea what to expect. So I said to give me time to grab a shower...oh and what time did it start? 2.30pm. It had already started.

But I took a shower anyway and a coffee to perk me up, and arranged to meet A Wu 45 minutes later outside our place. We turned up one hour fashionably late to a huge ballroom that could have accommodated a large wedding. In fact it looked just like a large wedding, except there were ladies dancing on the stage in local clothing. Every table (and there were dozens of them) had two bottles of red wine and plates of sunflower seeds and monkey nuts. But looking around I could see that not a single bottle had been opened. Then some blokes came around and put two cans of beer on each table (two cans for 10 people?), but again, not one was opened.

Finding out it's quite a big event...

Then some pretty lady got up on stage and I realised my Mandarin was pretty poor as I couldn't catch most of what she said, but she was joined by the bloke I should know the name of as he's often at Li Kun's, and seems to do the the MC work for the big events here. I understood that the event was sponsored by several local companies, and there were short video clips of many of them saying nice things about Pingguo. Then came a sort of competition. You had to scan a QR code on the big screen but try as we might we couldn't. I didn't really care to go up to the stage to scan the code as I wouldn't have known what to do with it, but it seemed you could win money if you did. Then a similar thing happened where after you scan the code you needed to shake your phone and the top few people after a minute would also win a prize. It was quite amusing to see people of all ages shaking their arms up and down in this manner.

Shaking phones in hope of winning a prize

Then came the draw. It seemed each company had prizes for 1 to 10 people, and each had to be drawn out of a box. This was fine for a while, and we clapped the winners, but after half an hour got slightly tedious. Still no-one had opened any of the booze. Then the draw stopped and I saw Li Kun. He got up on stage with some drummers and performed a nice piece with his flute for a few minutes, then when finished it was back to the draw again. It was drawn out as every winner had to come on stage. I realised that there was an agenda and it looked like the last item would be at 5.30pm, but when I checked with A Wu I saw we were running an hour late. Blimey I was getting really hungry and could do with a beer but it wasn't even 5pm.

Li Kun on flute with a band of mainly drummers

Finally I noticed the blokes on one table opening a couple of beers, but I thought better of doing the same on our table because I didn't want the people to think the English were too keen. Presently some huoguo saucepans were brought to the tables along with proper food to eat. It still took 20 minutes before we started though as no-one seemed to want to be the first person to do so. But at 5.30pm we tucked in and as usual spent 10 minutes eating before the first beer was opened. And indeed it was like an avalanche after that. The woman to my left broke the ice by commenting that I used my left hand for chopsticks and I apologised in rather too much of a British way for getting in her way and explained that I was trying to learn to use my right hand but it was too slow and the food was too good.

Finally the food and drink started

Then the table hopping started, and I was glad it was only 2.5% beer. Yes I could have chosen red wine or baijiu but I'm glad I didn't. A Wu seemed to know people on most tables so of course I had to ganbei with them. By now we were in fully Guangxi swing and barely noticed that the draw was still going on in the background. But then some older women came on stage in very traditional Guangxi style dress, and I said we'd better sit and watch and listen to them. It was a nice 5 minute set and we applauded dutifully. But then they descended from the stage and stood around one of the tables in the front and started singing another song for a couple of minutes, after which all at the table had to ganbei. They then moved to another table, then another and I knew before long they'd be at ours. So more ganbeis were had until they indeed did turn up at our table and I didn't feel as embarrassed as I might have done.

Traditional Guangxi women singers going round the tables

Then one of the blokes wanted to cai ma with me, which led to a sort of chain reaction of other people wanting to do the same. I was ok with it but made many an excuse to go to the loo to have a short break. Finally at around 10pm I left with A Wu to go and find his wife and kids in the zhong xin supermarket. But it was bloody freezing even though I had three layers on, so we walked to my place where I picked up my thick coat. A Wu had ordered a didi che but somehow screwed up so shouted at a san lun che, which took us to the centre where we found the kids and let them play on the crappy grabbing machines until they turned off the electricity at 10.30pm.

I put my coat around A Wu's daughter and her cousin till their mums came with their own coats

After a bit of a faff getting the ladies and kids a taxi to get them back, A Wu once again had an issue getting a didi che so once again we got a san lun che. So much for them not existing anymore. We went to the usual KTV near Boss Zhou's and I really couldn't be bothered as indeed there were 20 pissed blokes and one woman. But I had to play the game, and someone put on Pengyou and a microphone was thrust into my hands. Well, the MC was there, and he's at least a semi-professional singer, and he seemed to really like my rendition!

But I was flagging and couldn't really be bothered with all the ganbeiing, but I managed a bowl of noodles then I think A Wu was also slightly bored with the company so we left, but to go to another place. For the third time in a row we took a san lun che to a place north of the guangchang I'd been to in November last year. It was just a small office with about four blokes and more food and beer. It was more than I could stand but I stood on ceremony and held out for getting on for an hour, when we both finally left, this time for once in a didi che. I'd made it till 1.30am and was fast asleep very soon after 2am.

Another very social day

Finally I got a half decent sleep and woke up at 11.20, which actually was only about 6 hours sleep but beats yesterday. I had messages to meet people I'd met in the last couple of days and thought I'd just ignore them. But I had a change of heart when I thought that it might mean something to them to have me around. So I pinged the bloke from last week after he sent me a weizhi and told him I'd be around soon. Well "soon" meant I'd have a couple of beers as it was gone lunchtime and somehow this justified it.

I was too scared to charge up the dian dong che last night as the last time I did it the alarm must have gone off again as someone had removed the charger. This is so embarrassing. So I put it on to charge about 1pm and walked the 15 minutes to this bloke's shop. I'd forgotten who he was but remembered the name, and he was sitting in a shop that sold front doors and the modern locks that have face/finger recognition. Of course he was drinking tea with a couple of other blokes and we broke into conversations on various topics which I coped with with various levels of success. I'm aware you have to go with the flow and not try to catch every single word. But sometimes I find there is no flow to go with, so I am starting to create my own flow in these cases, based on what I've understood so far. It sometimes works quite successfully but on some rare occasions I get odd looks as I've completely changed the topic.

Tea and nuts with a mate from last night and two other blokes

I'd actually consider one if we didn't already have a porch

After and hour or so I told them quite honestly someone else had requested my company, and indeed I had a missed call from him, so I said I'd be there shortly. It was another 20 minutes, going back the way I came to the guangchang and passed Chairman Mao hill. Like most of my walks here it was quite an overload of the sense. But this time noticeably less so. I guess the more time I stay here the less it will feel foreign. In a way that would not be a good thing as I like the buzz. But the diminution of the buzziness would be a fair price to pay to be here for a much longer time.

I thought it was one of the three blokes I'd met last summer after a swim and indeed after a video call one of them came down in slippers. He seemed really happy that I'd made the effort to go and see him and we first went to the local shop to get some fags and beer. Well, it was 3pm now so why not?

We went up to the 28th and top floor where his two mates were already drinking. Well one was drinking beer and the other orange juice as he had to work later. The beer drinker burst into applause and laughter. So we had a few drinks and I lost badly at cai ma until nearly an hour later when I got a message from the woman who was drinking red wine with Haiwei and the bosses the other day. She asked me to come to her shop to drink tea. As it wasn't a bloke asking me I reckoned it really did mean tea, so I had an excuse to move on after losing to much cai ma. Of course I couldn't leave immediately so took about 20 minutes before it finally seemed acceptable. I told them I'd have more time over the next few weeks which is probably true.

The three blokes I met after swimming last summer

Nice view of the guangchang from the 28th floor

It was only a 10 minute walk to the alcohol shop and somehow I managed to find the back of it rather than the front, but a woman confirmed it was the right place and I think I somewhat surprised the two managers when I entered from the inside. Now I'm sort of starting to understand what they do here. The sell expensive booze but with a personal service, e.g. drinking tea with customers in the shop, and as I saw the other day - drinking the said alcohol with customers at their place. So it's a little more than simply being a token pretty face. The other woman there asked permission to take photos with me and I'm now used to saying ok but only to share in friend groups.

Presently a large bloke turned up and presented some tea, as if it was some sort of present. One of the ladies started to open it and perform the ceremony that is tea drinking, but she was having a little trouble so the bloke took over in the main seat. I could tell right away from his voice he was no local and indeed he was from Shandong. Over the next two hours or so we just chatted as you do and various people left and turned up as you do. I think the woman who invited me is called Juan, and she had to leave once or twice to deliver some alcohol. I should know the Shandong bloke's name but instead I learnt that he was the "general agent of North Korean coins in the southwestern region" (yeah I had to use an online translation to confirm that). He then sent me 20+ photos of North Korean notes and what looked like commemorative coins. I asked genuinely if there was really a market for these but it turns out there is. He even suggested I could sell some in Europe. I guess I'll do a little research but I'm rather doubtful.

At getting on for 7pm he declared that we were going to eat. Well that was nice of him. I was pretty tired after those afternoon beers, although the tea was definitely caffeinated. But I was also mentally tired after talking with him for so long. Normally I'd find someone like him relatively easy to understand, but the topics of conversation were pretty complex at times and I didn't want to puncture it by the constant looking up of new terms I wouldn't like remember. It transpired he didn't live in Pingguo but was staying a few days in the International Hotel by the guangchang, while his wife and kids lived near Baise. So I got in his BMW and we parked in the hotel carpark, where he presented me with a box of Cheng Jing tea before we walked to the eating places up by the Guangbai Jia supermarket. We chose the one that was the most full and he ordered a huge huoguo as Juan turned up a few minutes later.

But no beer. Oh no, he had bought an expensive bottle of 53% baijiu and by golly I was going to join in. He even said that himself. I told him I could normally manage one thimbleful but he poured me a mini jug of the vile stuff and made me fill my tiny glass after a horrible first ganbei. I thought the 2nd one may be easier but it was much worse and I had my head in my hands for a while until Juan gave me a glass of tea to ease my suffering. Well I was certainly suffering for my meal, which was pretty good except for all the intestines. Finally, by the 4th or 5th glass it stopped burning so hard, but Juan had a phone call and had to leave us to deliver more alcohol, leaving a full glass. So it was agreed I'd finish her glass and he'd finish her jug. Fair enough. I couldn't eat any more but he casually managed to down the rest of the huoguo as we both agreed it was best not to waste anything.

Another big meal

We parted some time after 10pm and I got home actually feeling very sober. Nong had contacted me in a cryptic way which meant I wasn't sure if she wanted to go for a bite or not. But then A Wu pinged me to go for bbq outside our place, which was a much clearer means of saying what to do. So I popped out to see him and his family and a couple of other couples with their kids. One of the ladies was an English teacher but was too embarrassed to use it with me. I contacted Nong again and this time picked her up from near Li Kun's place and we got back to play mo pai and cai ma as you do. I'd bumped into Boss Zhou but totally forgot to go back to him. Then A Wu was on the phone to his Boss Zhou telling us to come over and eat with them. But Nong didn't feel it was appropriate so I ended up taking her to the fast food place we went to the other day and sharing some crap, but to be fair she ordered stuff to takeaway for her niece who was staying over.

Bbq with A Wu and friends/family...being only the penultimate meal of the night

I got back and realised it was 2.30am already. Shit, I'd missed both Boss Zhou's, and A Wu didn't respond to my message so was probably asleep already. So that was the end of the night and for once I was in bed by 3am.

Duck feet by the river then meal with Lu zong's Nanning friends before nearly finishing at Li Kun's

Blimey I got up after three hours' sleep at 7.30am and couldn't get back, so at 9am I went to the old people's leisure centre and spent 90 minutes there sweating out what I'd put in last night. Once again there were shrieks and howls and it was jolly good fun! I've already played ping pong more times in the five days I've been here than the whole seven weeks of the summer.

Back home I grabbed a shower and was suddenly hit by a sort of melancholy. Not that there was anything to be sad about but the last five days have been so full-on and fun and friendly that suddenly to realise I was home alone just felt relatively negative. But luckily I saw that Lu zong had left a message to go to eat tonight at his place in Jiang Bing Lu with a friend who was coming "down" from Nanning. I rather thought he'd be coming "up" from Nanning as it's south of here but thought better than to question this.

With my spirits lifted a little I went for a walk to get some provisions from Guanmart and feeling peckish I then went to the jiaozi place. The area was heaving with teenage kids with suitcases and as I first stopped at Lu zong's water shop I found out the local secondary school was going on holiday for the New Year. So anyway I stayed for a friendly few cups of tea before getting my jiaozi at midday then walking back to where a siesta surely had to be waiting for me.

But it took bloody ages and then a friend pinged me at 3pm to go to drink with some other friends. I really didn't want to be pissed before going to Lu zong's later so explained I needed to sleep, and finally managed 30 minutes before being pinged again and I left at 4.30pm to go to some grassy place by the river on the east side of town. They had cooked some duck feet and snails and made a warming drink out of bai jiu and ginger and sugar. It wasn't totally horrible so I managed to join in for a couple of hours. Rain came and went but it was thankfully warm.

Duck feet and ginger alcohol by the river as you do

At 6.30pm they knew I had to leave so I didn't meet with too much pressure to stay. I got to Lu zong's place by the river by 7pm to meet his Nanning friends. It was another fine evening despite my lack of sleep. There was a lot more new vocab for me as there were many people I didn't really know, which made it all the more tiring. I finally exchanged WeiXin details with a couple of people and headed home at getting on for 11pm.

Meal at Lu zong's place again

Except Li Kun had pinged me to say they were starting to eat at his place so I went there first. He let me pay for the beers and ordered them on my phone; three boxes for 114 kuai wasn't bad, and they were delivered minutes later. I stayed for no longer than an hour as was really flagging now, and was in bed soon after midnight.

Continuing at Li Kun's...

...at least he let me pay for the beer (114 kuai for all that)

For whatever reason I woke up after just over an hour at 1.40am and almost predictably Sisi called me shortly after. Well, sod it, I went over to have a couple of drinks and predictably again she got quite drunk so I had to take her home at nearly 5am. Maybe I should be more sensible. Maybe she should.

Registered again

I suppose I can blame jetlag but I was properly up by 9am so pinged Xiao Mong at the police station to ask if it would be convenient to go to pick up my registration document. Indeed it was, but for some stupid reason I decided to finish the beer I'd barely started about 4 hours previously. Needless to say it wasn't cold or refreshing but hey-ho I'm on holiday right?

So around 10am I drove down to pick it up and I was once again officially here. So getting back I decided to have an early lunch at the jiaozi place where the boss was smiling much more than usual as she bade me wait a few minutes while she cooked some up. Which was fine as I bumped in to Lu zong next door at his water place and we had a nice hug and he said we must meet up in a couple of days.

I spent much of the afternoon trying to get some sleep until at 6.30pm I realised I was starting to get pretty hungry and quail eggs, as nice as they are, are not enough for a grown man. I actually felt I needed some carbs so by 9pm I made a portion of pao mian that I'd bought a couple of months ago that really hit the spot.

For once I was glad not to be invited out. I hadn't really had much of a siesta so I was very tired by 11pm, but sleep was not forthcoming even after a couple of beers, so ended up chatting with the lads on and off till nearly 4.30am.

Nearly successful attempt at registering myself again...and good TT

Somehow awoke at 8am again but this time it seems I was alone in the house. So I managed to go for a drive at 9ish with my dirty Converse but I couldn't find the shoe cleaning shop. Well so what? I had another plan to go to the Police place to register myself and indeed soon after 10am I found it and Xiao Mong on the 2nd floor as I'm now used to. I gave her my last deng ji from barely two months ago and she took photos of it as well as my passport and visa. But it seemed the system was playing up and wouldn't let her complete the registration. I didn't mind, and said she could keep the passport if she wanted but she said she had enough info so she checked that she still had my Weixin and indeed she did and said she'd ping me when it was ready.

So I got back home and made a second attempt to get my dirty Converse cleaned and this time the lady had opened up her shop. But she said due to "holidays" it would take four or five days to get them cleaned. Not that I gave a monkey's but I didn't really know which holiday it was and I should have.

I hadn't really registered it but it was getting up to 20 degrees...very nice!

Back home I was hungry so ended up heating up some of the bbq from last night at about 11.30am. Damn I should have lasted till midday but at 11.50 I had a little V & lemonade as I knew I'd need a siesta. Well it should have come at 2pm but for some reason I went out again just because I could. Finally at gone 4pm despite Mat saying he was about for a chat I slept till getting on for 6pm.

I had nothing to do, and thought about doing some study but eventually 8pm poked its nose at me and I hit on the great idea of going to play ping pong. I pinged Haiwei and he said he was already at the place by the football stadium so I ended up getting there shortly after 8pm. Oh wow it was brilliant of course. I played a few people who were better than me but I started to smash back their smashes and I think I got some approval.

Finally at gone 10pm I left after a good two hours of exercise. Lord knows I need this both physically and mentally. I got home and wolfed down the last of the bbq from last night and realised I had no plans for tonight. No plans that was for about 4 minutes when Li Kun sent a 3 second video of food being prepared at his place. I didn't need a second invitation and told him I'd grab a quick shower first, and ended up getting there at about 11.30pm. It was the usual blokes and although I'd prefer a little female company I couldn't complain as it was free conversation and food and drink.

I got a pretty nice water bottle at Guanmart

Some mates at Li Kun's place as you do...

Of course Sisi pinged me at 12.30am to say she was drinking red wine. I was tempted but stayed with Li Kun and his handsome singer friend also turned up shortly after. Presently most of his friends took their leave so around 1.30am I saw a missed call from Sisi and decided I'd go to see how she was as we finished the last of the beers. She was unfortunately really drunk when I met her and two of her friends. I managed to convince her friends that I'd known her for years (which is true) and that I'd take her back home (much to their gratitude). But it wasn't that easy. I had to hold her steady for getting on for half an hour and was worried that someone would see us and think something untoward. Finally at about 2am she was ok enough to get on the back of my dian dong che to go back to her place. At least I knew it was next to the guangchang. It took another half an hour to get her from the dian dong che to walk home but I knew I'd done the right thing by looking after her. And I remembered to text her worried friend to say that she was home ok.

So back at home at nearly 3am it was almost a normal night. I thought "sod it" and poured a V and lemonade, and got to sleep not too long after. Until bloody 5am when I woke up and am still up now! Somehow I don't think it will be too much of a problem though....

Jiaozi and milk bottles until 10.30pm...and fantastic bbq later

Well yes it was 8am when I got up but I could hear what I thought were people in the front room. I opened the door ajar and saw Erjie and the other women and thought better than to enter in just my boxer shorts. I wasn't feeling particularly sociable so ended up eating a few milk bottle sweets that I'd meant as presents until I heard the ladies leave about an hour later. But Jiuma pinged me out of the blue to ask me to fill up on water. Had she just been in the house too? So anyway I took the nearly empty bottle to fill up and realised this was actually quite good fun. A combination of jetlag and feeling like being on a different planet can make the most mundane of tasks like that.

After doing my water task I decided to go for a walk in relative warmth of around 18 degrees, and happened upon my favourite jiaozi place. Of course the woman wasn't surprised to see me but smiled and her husband got me a proper breakfast portion of them. Fully sated, I knew I'd need a siesta later so got home but the ladies were back milling about. Totally fair enough as I think this is Erjie's house, and it's kind of her to let me use it as if it is mine.

I ended up somehow chatting with Mat and Awl till gone 1pm before crashing out as I'd managed a beer or two. I woke up at 6.30pm and realised I'd totally forgotten to register myself as I am technically obliged to do as soon as I arrive (at least when the police place is open). Oh well it will have to wait till tomorrow. So I ended up chatting with the lads again. So much for immersing myself here. I finished the milk bottle sweets and realised other than the jiaozi at 10.30am that was all I had eaten today. So at gone 10.20pm I popped out to meet racist Huang, who indeed was there sitting at a table alone.

A slightly drunk, but always very friendly, Huang

He was pleased, but not surprised, to see me and immediately grabbed a beer and a portion of some lovely dried mini-fish, which I quaffed down quickly. I only stayed 40 minutes though as he was quite pissed. Still peckish, I parked up at the eating street just outside our place and walked up hoping to meet Tan's "uncle" who runs one of the bbq places but I didn't see him. I was tempted to walk up to a table who were "hellowing" me but decided to go to Tian Yang Po's place as I hadn't gone last year at all and she is, according to Tan, the best bbqer in the province.

And she was open too, so I ordered 5 fei niu and 5 pork whatevers. I'd had two beers with Huang so had enough Dutch courage to ask the table of people next to me if I could join them while I waited for my bbq. Of course that was fine and I ended up chatting with them for the next hour or so. A couple of the blokes were not locals, so we had something in common as we couldn't understand the local lingo. Well I did speak a little to show off of course.... I found the bloke opposite was also a Pingguo Guye (married to a local) so we laughed about that and how Guangxi women were so lihai! Well duly more bbq arrived...far more than we could get through, and then of course mine arrived too. We played a few hands of mo pai which I did rather well at, and consumed quite a few cold Li Quans. It ended up being a very enjoyable evening and of course at getting on to 1am when we decided to leave the bloke opposite me insisted on paying for everything and I got a bagful of bbq goodness to take back home.

Tian Yang Po bbq...

Indeed back home I had another chat with the lads for a while. I feared after waking up at 6.30pm I'd not be able to sleep but beer meant that by 1.30am I hit slumberland like a fairy.

A full-on Sunday with A Wu, Haiwei, Li Kun, and Nong...

Well awak(en?)ing at 5am should have allowed me to get back to sleep pronto but it didn't happen so at 8.30am I made the good decision to go and play ping pong at the old people's leisure centre. But when I got there I found that although there is now another table, there were only two people there playing. But that didn't last long and before three minutes I was being challenged to a game with an elder. I recognised her but I couldn't remember her name, but she remembered me and remembered Tan was from Bangxu so within two minutes everyone else who'd arrived in the room also knew. I did my few words in Bangxu hua to their delight then continued to give a reasonable account of myself at the table. At least until some other bloke turned up. And then more people turned up and I found myself playing doubles and it was fantastical fun. Everyone, including me, was full of smiles as we tried to smash each other to smithereens. Well I know we won the second game at least, but probably lost 10-2 in total but no-one really cared.

I looked at the clock and it was 11.30! I'd been here nearly three hours! I pinged A Wu to say to meet for lunch and he agreed, so I had an excuse to leave. I thought that this place closed at 10am but apparently now it's 12pm. I can't wait to get back. As I've said before I'd love to retire here and be so active as this morning.

I took the dian dong che to A Wu's office and he nonchalantly greeted me by showing his various demijohns of alcohol, the latest of which was black-ant alcohol, and I could see them sinking down then floating back up. I didn't need to ask but he said that this booze was good for keeping your pecker up! As is most booze here apparently...they don't seem to have the concept of brewer's droop!

I left the dian dong che and took his BMW to the usual duck place but there was a long queue so we drove elsewhere to a less queuey place and had a lovely lunch around 12.15 as I'd not bothered getting a shower after ping pong. Afterwards he said we'd go to some boss's place where they'd just killed a cow. I wasn't too up for this but he said we'd first visit a place with a snooker table. This was ok with with me and I said I'd manage for a few minutes.

Duck breast noodles with A Wu for lunch

Well it was a nice modern pool table and I made sure A Wu knew the difference between pool and snooker, and we had a couple of games. I quite like the rules. He potted one of his balls but also the white at the same time, so his potted ball came back out and went on the centre spot. I didn't get two shots but did when he made another foul shot. I ended up winning 2-1 despite the owner turning up and advising me to take shots that I didn't do. I ended up covering the pockets as one does and in the end he had to hand it to me that I knew what I was doing.

Using a gimpish glove to play pool and beat A Wu

I got back to A Wu's office at nearly 2pm and drove home. I was pissed off that I couldn't charge the dian dong che so instead of sleeping I went to the place that replaced my batteries in the summer to find they'd only bloody moved. I asked next door and the two pretty girls confirmed that they'd had to move. I stayed longer than I should have getting an explanation why and although was slightly peeved I gave them a smile which was reciprocated.

So I moved on down a few shops to the place that had fixed the dian dong che a few years ago. The bloke tested my charger and said it was fine, and that I should just choose another place to charge up. Err...ok...I hoped it was that simple, and indeed after a few attempts I finally found one that started charging up. Cool! I poured a celebratory V and zero-sugar lemonade and went straight to bed.

I managed to wake up to the third call from Haiwei, who said to be at his office for 5.30pm in half an hour. I told him in no uncertain terms I required another 40 minutes' sleep then I'd grab a shower and be over about 6pm. As it was, 6pm turned up as I woke up and I pinged him to say I'd be a little later. I got the typical 快点 message but didn't care and grabbed my shower and a wake-up drink, and got on the mostly-charged dian dong che and was there fashionably late before 7pm.

It was a typical boss meal with a token lady who was really pretty but downed a large glass of rouge with one of the bosses and I could see she was a bit the worse for wear. But there wasn't much I could do other than insist on beer rather than wine. I was a bit hungry but there wasn't that much left on the table so I did a few ganbeis to justify myself being there then went to the loo to find the woman there looking a bit sick. I told her to sit down and went to get her a cup of tea as she asked for one. By the time I'd finished my massive wee she was no longer sitting outside but at the tea table with the others ogling her. I guess that is her job to some extent...a semi-geisha to pissed bosses. It feels like objectifying women but I don't have the right to step in and stop it. I feel the best I can do is speak to them like an adult and give them that sort of respect.

One of Tan's ex-colleagues/classmates at the boss meal with Haiwei (in the background)

Nong had pinged me last night at 2.37am to eat with her tonight but I thought nothing of that as she was probably pissed. So when Li Kun asked me to go around I said I would a bit later. But as luck would have it I somehow got in contact with her (i.e. I pinged her) and she apologised that she'd been invited out and had forgotten about my invitation which was exactly what I thought. But after a tad of fuss she said would it be ok to come around to my friend Li Kun? And I said of course no problem.

Well, no problem in theory, but I thought I'd understood I'd pick her up from her house which was really close to Li Kun's, so I got there only to be told she was at the KTV near Boss Zhou's place. So once there I sat down in the waiting area and she came out and said to come into the KTV room. How could I refuse? So I spent about 20 minutes there and then we moved on to another KTV room for more ganbeis before finally leaving after midnight!

Moving on to Li Kun's at gone midnight as you do...

At 12.20 I pinged Li Kun to see if he was still there and indeed he was so we drove on over for a late drink and bite to eat. Nong is pretty social so had no problem joining in with us and that handsome singer-bloke from last time was there too.... So we had another super evening after the false start that was the drunken bosses at Haiwei's office. Afterwards I took Nong to a crappy McDonald's-like place but quite frankly we hadn't had that much to eat and we shared a chicken wrap and some lovely chicken nuggets at 3.30am that you just can't do very easily in the UK (at least not in a small town).

Fast food at 3.30am as you do...

I got home shortly before 4am to see a message from Sisi asking if I was drunk. I replied in the negative (which was positively true) and promptly fell asleep, only to awake at 8am to see a missed call from her at 5.21am! I'm well and truly back in Pingguo and I love it!

Back to Haiwei and Uncle Yellow

The landing was as smooth as a peach's bottom and by 7.30am we were out of the plane and waiting for the door to open to domestic departures. This happened eventually after 8am and during some inexplicable waiting a woman came to give landing cards to those who needed them. I'd blooming well asked in the flight for such a landing card but they didn't have any, so now I was given one minutes before I was due to do immigration. I managed to fill most of it in before it was my turn and the bloke predictably told me I needed to fill in my address and signature, and gave me a pen and told me to come back when it was ready. Well it appears I was by no means the only person who had to do this. But as it was 90% done I filled in my (optional) Chinese name, but this time due to not wanting to wait too much longer I filled in my address in pinyin to my shame, and only gave Chuan Chuan's phone number rather than address. But it worked. And I was technically back in China for the first time in...well just under six weeks.

Of course my phone with its Chinese SIM wasn't working properly so I couldn't receive an SMS to receive the wifi code, despite asking the help of a local bloke. But I hit on the idea of first turning off mobile data, then putting in my English SIM, receiving an SMS code which finally gave me working wifi before SIM-swapping again. Of course I'd run out of credit, but thanks to the wifi I was able to add 50 kuai and turn on mobile data and not be tethered to airport wifi. I'm sure there should be a way of adding credit when it's run out, but even the local bloke wasn't able to help me so possibly not.

At least customs was a doddle with only my carry-ons, and I hydrated myself with the water bottle I'd thoughtfully asked the FA to fill before we landed. I was pretty chill as I'd taken a tram two hours before landing, and it lasted till I got to the Shanghai lounge #35. So, a decent breakfast accompanied with two decent coffees as I know it's the last time I'll avail myself of such western culinary delights for five weeks or so. And at 10am, for the second time in as many days, I availed myself of an alcoholic drink. Well I managed maybe four glasses of the rouge and tried to justify it but in Gatwick it was at least 6pm in China. Here it was 10am in China and 2am in the UK. Not a great justification except the flight was at 11.50am.

Well I did have two coffees first

It's not often that I take a morning flight but the fact that it was 10 minutes till the afternoon and the Dutch courage helped. And it was fine. I had my last carry-on that I mixed with a can of sugary 7-up in one of my empty plastic bottles, and made it last most of the flight as of course they didn't have even beer on this domestic one.

The landing was pretty professionally done and a relatively sober me was happy to find my luggage intact 20 minutes later in Nanning. But I'd just missed the 4pm bus to the centre and I knew that for some reason there were no trains from the airport to Nanning today. I had booked the 17:57 from Nanning to Pingguo though so really needed to get the 4.30pm bus to the centre as it takes up to an hour. Of course bloody Weixin wouldn't work to buy the tickets so I had to go back into the airport with all my luggage and luckily I had a 100 kuai note to pay the 20 kuai ticket fee, and managed to get back and put my luggage in the underneath compartment and get one of the last seats just before we left. And it was bloody lucky I did as we arrived at 5.28pm and although I had nearly half an hour before my train I had to cross the massive road then do a queue for security. As soon as I got to the station it was time to go to the platform. Maybe I could have been five minutes later but much more and I'd have been looking at a taxi or coach to get to Pingguo.

Yep, I love Guangxi!

But I was on coach 5, seat 3D, slightly sweaty, but happy that I had everything and would be "home" soon. I'd toyed with the idea of asking Haiwei to pick me up but opted to go for a san lun che again. I'd stuffed away my coat as it was not far off 20 degrees and my hoodie would suffice, and indeed it was worth the five minute walk to find a san lun che. The driver kept calling me "boss" and asked what I was doing there. I told her I didn't really know. I have a bit more time and just wanted to spend it here. She asked for 10 kuai and I gave her 15 for the conversation alone.

Happily, the key opened the door nicely unlike last time, and I started unpacking, knowing I had to meet Haiwei shortly. But not before a shower. Then Er jie and about five other women turned up. Oh, it appears they are to go dancing tomorrow. That's absolutely fine and I'm glad to share a house but it would have been nice to know as I could have been walking naked through the place when they turned up. What was weird was that they didn't think it was weird that I was there. I just was. So after a few hellos, and Erjie taking the two coats Tan had asked me to bring back, I just grabbed my shower and prayed the dian dong che would have enough dian, which indeed it did, and I got to where Haiwei is staying by about 8pm.

There was no-one other that him and his younger son, which was slightly disappointing as I could have done with a bigger meal just to have the vibe of more people to wake me up a bit. His older son turned up a bit later and we spoke some English which was fine and fair enough. Part of why I'm back here is to see if it will be feasibly to open an English school at least for the summer.

Meal with Haiwei's boys

But a friend of Uncle Yellow pinged me and sent a location so I made my excuses and left around 10.30pm. The place was a guitar shop just north of the football stadium and although he said he was going home, Uncle Yellow was there and greeted me with a big grin. There was no beer...except I'd stopped off at Guanmart on the way over and had a 6-pack that we used. I only stayed 45 minutes or so as I was knackered, as was Uncle Yellow, so we left before midnight.

Second evening meal with Uncle Yellow and mates at a mate's music shop

I had a plan to watch the Newcastle v City match at 1.30am, and had my beer and duty free ready. But somehow Tan's Erjie was at home with the five other Bangxu women. This was fine of course, but slightly unexpected. They took some delight in talking to me and I was more than happy to engage in conversation till gone 12.30am. But after that I have no memory. The next thing I knew it was 5am and I was wide awake with jetlag. At least I found we had a last-minute win at Newcastle thanks to some brilliance from KDB and our young star Oscar Bobb! The highlights were great to watch!

Excuses excuses...but back en route to Pingguo

Well I've been a bit cheeky. Around Xmas week I found that SOL had regained some value against the USD and although I felt guilty I exchanged enough not only to pay for the mortgage but to pay for a potential ticket back to China as I reasoned I had enough for another month off work. I was angling for an excuse for some time but none were forthcoming (at least none that Tan would agree with). Then it hit me that last year A Wu and his wife had been deadly serious (if a bit drunk) about opening an English school in Pingguo. So on the 1st of January at 4pm I pinged Haiwei to ask if Pingguo had an English school. A couple of minutes later he rang me to say there certainly was not and that I should bloody well start one. Well I know it's not as easy as that, but it got me thinking that at least I could start investigations. Then I asked what he was doing at midnight his time, and of course the answer was "drinking" so I took it with a pinch of salt. But later that night, his 9am, I asked him again and he still said it was a good idea, so it wasn't just the drink talking.

I sort of forgot about it for a bit but then late on the night of the 2nd I was in touch with him again but this time it was me who had imbibed. Haiwei said he knew the relevant people in the government plus the teachers. But I'd already mentioned it to Tan who said it was impossible and not to dare to go into business with him as he was in debt. That was a fair reality check. But then she said it would be better to do a summer school instead. In fact this was a far better idea; minimised risk if it went tits up and less liability. So at some time after 1am I had a look at flights. Blimey only just over £500 with China Eastern, and despite Tan's criticism of them from October (tiny seats, no alcohol with meal etc.) I thought sod it and nearly bought tickets for Saturday 13th January. I was just about to click "buy" when I had the foresight to check the City schedule and found we were playing Newcastle at 5.30pm on that Saturday. So I checked the Friday 12th flight and it was only a tenner more so had a "sod it" moment and just bought the tickets via the Trip app to get a tenner discount and there I was, £535 poorer but the excitement I felt was almost already worth that alone. Nine days of anticipation to go! Normally I like to buy with some time in advance as you sort of appreciate the time looking forward to going. But I had to go early as Tan had said she wanted to go in April till the summer, meaning around 4.5 months, and I'd have to be home to support Xixi for GCSEs.

Of course Tan went ape when I told her the next day. I suppose I should have checked with her first. But in fact I'd told her I'd made some money and had offered her the chance to go to China for the lunar New Year and she'd said she didn't want to go there alone then. I don't quite get why then she announced she'd be going (alone) in April and I wouldn't take the kids till late June but thought better than to bring up logic. It was done, and she made sure to give me two massive coats that were too big for her to bring back to A Xia.

So roll on a few days and after a couple of goodbye pints with Andge and Awl on Thursday night I did my packing, knowing I'd have forgotten loads of stuff but I had my passport and phone and charger. And one adapter.

It was easy to get up at 6am for a 12:10 flight from Gatwick. I realise we're quite privileged as I got there door-to-door in just under an hour. There was no queue and I had a little hope of getting a row to myself again as the kind lady moved me back from row 71 to 72. I felt little guilt asking for a G&T at 10am (the second time asking for such a drink in the morning in two months), but less guilt for the other three, as I was planning to sleep. Blimey, they said the gate was closing at 11:50 and it was 11:42 by the time I got there but a woman was screaming to hurry up as I was one of the last two people. Gosh, ok then. It was only about 2/3 full so no problem finding a space for my main carry-on bag and annoyingly there was a woman on the other side of my row but at least it meant we had two seats each, and I stuffed my backpack under one of the seats. Well well over the 8kg limit but in the rush no-one was weighing.

My last western breakfast for a while I hope

The flight was thankfully nondescript save for some turb about 3/4 of the way through. I did manage to watch one film: Mr Bean's holiday, which was less funny than I remembered. And I got some minor adrenalin buzzes as the flight attendants spoke to me in Mandarin. Ok, so they didn't have wine or spirits (at least not in economy), but contrary to what Tan had said, they did have Qingdao beer which was better than nothing. Plus I had some carry-on, which after the meal with a cocktail of Mel and Phen helped me to get 4-5 hours of fractured sleep.

I Phen asleep about here...

Another lucky seating arrangement on final flight back

Well I woke up at 9am as planned but by the time I checked my phone it was 10.30am. Shit, I'd better make a move. I didn't really want to think about it but the hotel in Hong Kong when I came here cost £30 after knocking off £60 due to points I had, and I'd spent £47 on the flight to Shenzhen, £30+ on the hotel in Shenzhen and now £46 for this Beijing hotel. Not to mention around £50 on trains to get to Pingguo. So the £398 flight to Hong Kong was looking like a bit of a false economy. But hey, doing it this way had enabled me to step down day by day. But after this last month it's going to be so tough getting back...however at least this time I'll have family to see at home.

I was out by 11am and it was but a three minute journey to International Departures on the 4th floor. There was nearly no queue again for baggage drop-off and once again I had a 100% Mandarin conversation with the lady at the desk. I explained that if possible I'd like a seat with no people next to me but she showed me the map and said there weren't any but let me choose, so I took 37C as it was an aisle seat and so far it didn't look like the other two were filled. I explained how I was lucky coming over and that having three seats to oneself made all the difference. She smiled throughout the conversation and that made me smile too. This time my luggage didn't set off any alarms so it was to the departure queue, which took about 15 minutes and I was a bit worried as in the foreigners queue it said to have passport, boarding pass, and departure card ready. Departure card? I didn't have one. But maybe they are a thing of the past as I had no problem receiving my third exit stamp in the last few months, and by 11.40am I was back in the same "Pay lounge" I'd been in a month ago. Oh, and no need for a health declaration form either.

Six stamps in as many months...I hope there will be more

I found "Kick bottom" more amusing than I should have after three glasses...

I didn't dare use this though

I had no qualms about eating lunch before midday. Why would they have hot food if it wasn't for consumption? And I applied similar logic to the bottle of red wine too, knowing that I didn't have all the time in the world here. Indeed, soon after 1.15pm it would be time to board. I went for a last glass of rouge and noticed on the bottle that it was 14%! Shit, no wonder I was feeling tipsy again. I did remember to go to duty-free to look for Esse cigarettes for Awl though. Once again, and maybe for the last time, I got a conversation in Mandarin, asking the difference between the various varieties, and finally picking a mint pack and one with three flavours including red and white wine flavours. It's almost like this brand is a hybrid between normal fags and vapes.

Once again I was one of the last to board, and slightly disappointed that there were a mother and child on the seats to my left, and the child was coughing a lot. Oh well, I was resigned to an uncomfortable flight, but I'd brought along some beers from the lounge should I need them. Then a quite lovely thing happened. The two blokes sitting in the row in front moved a couple of rows forward. Why, I'll never know, but one of them gave me a nod when they left and that was all I needed. I pounced onto seat 36A and prayed no-one would join me. Boarding was complete, we were having the safety announcement, the plane started moving. It couldn't be could it? Well no-one joined me and I thought about spreading out now to ensure they didn't get the chance. But I opted for optimism and food first. The cocktail of melatonin and Phenergan did the trick again and I had nearly as much sleep as on the way over here, waking up with 2h30 to go, and finishing off Bladerunner 2049 for the second or third time.

It couldn't be true, could it? I didn't see any other rows with just one person

The flight was as turbulent-free as I can remember, though I may have slept through some, and the landing gentle too. The only real pisser was waiting an age for my luggage, trying to watch the City match and seeing Spurs get a late equaliser. And then finding when it finally arrived, that one of the wheels had sheered off, making it a pain to roll. I guess I'll write to Samsonite and see if they're willing to send a replacement...or maybe Amex insurance will cover it...I live in hope as I love that suitcase.

Probably the worst event of the sojourn happened right at the end...it was a bugger to roll back after that

And that was it...home to see the family so a much nicer ending that it usually is. Tan and Xixi were happy with the clothes, and Leilei accepted a hug!

But this break has been important for me in many ways. I was properly independent, forced to speak Mandarin 95% of the time, and had so many special moments. Despite the banal nature of so much of it, it really feels like watching a film but also being in it. A dream that you can control. But I'm aware it's a combination of being foreign, speaking the language, having the time, and Pingguo being Tan's home town. This last bit lends a significant amount of legitimacy I feel. I don't know if I'll get to do it again by myself, but I really hope I can find a job where I'm able to come back with the family next year - it would be a deal-breaker in an interview if I couldn't.

Ferry to Hong Kong, flight to Beijing, and a "problem"

I'd planned to get up at 8am to review my option of taking the boat and maybe make a plan B. It may have been easier to do the train to Kowloon than the metro to the airport, and certainly cheaper, but given I was on the other side of one of the largest cities in the world I guessed the tube alone would have taken 90 minutes and I was literally in the building where the ferry left from so forced myself out at 8.30am.

I had no idea how long the process would take, but I knew it would involve passports so that could mean queues and health declarations. A woman came up to me to ask in English if she could help and I rudely answered her in Mandarin, then caught myself and quickly said in English I wanted to buy a ticket to Hong Kong airport, and she pointed to a queue 20 metres away. I was about five back in the queue and the people at the front were involved in a conversation with the ticket seller so I didn't know how long it would take. It was already nearly 9am. Then the teller to the left finished selling a ticket but no-one went up to her so I motioned with my hands that I wanted to buy a ticket and she beckoned me over. Well that was reasonably simple and paid for with Weixin again, then it was over to drop off the luggage.

I explained to the woman that I knew China Southern didn't accept check-in luggage here, unlike most of the others, so I'd have to pick it up at the airport, but she looked a bit worried and called the other woman over who had spoken English to me a few minutes ago. This time maybe because she'd heard me speaking with the other woman she didn't utter a word of English and said she feared that in Hong Kong they wouldn't let me go to Beijing. I told her it would be fine as I had a multi-entry visa, but she then said a few quick sentences to me really quickly and I was too embarrassed to ask what exactly she meant other than "他们不给你走", "they will not let you go". One of these days my pride is really going to cause me to have a big fall, but I insisted that it would be fine. Why? Why didn't I try to find out what the problem was?

But anyway, the first woman took my luggage and put a sticker on my ticket so I would be able to identify it. Then I walked around the corner to leave mainland China and get my passport stamped. Then over to the waiting hall. It was only 9.10am and boarding wasn't until 9.50am, but given the previous conversation it was better to be early just in case. The ferry was pretty empty, as was my stomach, and I was slightly annoyed when two westerners came and sat next to me given there were plenty of empty rows. It was only much later on I noticed we have been delegated seats and I'd just been delegated unluckily.

At the airport I realised I was once again in no-man's land, as I was neither in mainland China nor Hong Kong. But China Mobile sent me a text to say I could use up to RMB30 worth per day so I quickly turned off data; I could wait for wifi. My bag was duly waiting for me, so that wasn't the problem the lady mentioned, and I went to drop it off in a small hall where each of the desks catered for multiple airlines. With no queue it was quick, but I did check about whether I needed to pick up the suitcase in Beijing and indeed I did, plus sort out getting a boarding pass. But at least this time it was all in Mandarin and this time I understood what she was saying. But where was this problem? This could have been the sticky point, but now I had to do security. But security was quick and fine, and I went to check the flight details. Oh, it wasn't there...There was another flight at 2.15pm but it wasn't mine, at least it wasn't going to Beijing. Could this be the problem? I double-checked and then checked the boarding pass. 1.45pm! They'd only gone and changed the time sometime in the last four weeks, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't told about it. And there it was on the board, at gate 49, only 11 away from the lounges.

From memory, Hong Kong lounges only served beer before, but this time I went to the Centurion lounge (avoiding the queues outside the Plaza Premium). It was 11.15am and I was told breakfast was being served, but lunch would be at 11.30am. I decided to wait it out till lunch then looked at the bar. This was definitely a good level or two above typical lounges, and I was asked politely what I would like to drink. "Good morning, may I have a gin and tonic please?", were the words that came out of my mouth, probably for the first time in my life. Divine (for that was her name) asked if Botanist gin would be ok. Err...yeah, though I kept my poise and nodded that that would be fine, and she continued to pour the largest measure I've seen by a bar person. I normally can't tell the difference between gins but this definitely had some kick, though I've since checked and at 46% it bloody would!

Morning Botanist and tonic...

The food was cracking too, putting Nanning's China Southern lounge to shame. Two more G&Ts later it was getting time to go, so I had one for the air and said goodbye to Divine. I didn't need duty-free but I still had HKD47 in coins from years ago plus some cash plus the 120 they give you when you get past security. I didn't really follow the logic of it but I wasn't going to argue. So, feeling slightly tipsy, I went to the duty free and appropriately picked up a bottle of Bombay Sapphire export strength. The lady at the counter was more than happy to speak Mandarin with me as I asked her to help out with the coinage, so I had another little dopamine hit again.

I didn't get a row to myself this time, but at least it was a 2-4-2 formation on the A330-300, which meant I only had to disturb one person when I went to the loo. Once again I was one of the last ones on the flight but there was no problem with cabin space again. Three hours later, after a fairly nondescript flight and landing, I was filling in my landing card again, though it took a fraction of the time as I didn't have to write the address in Chinese (but I did put my Chinese name in the optional box). And a few minutes later I had my third entry stamp for this visa in my passport. I really really hope it's not the last. And the problem I was told about when getting the boat tickets? Nothing at all...unless there is some surprise tomorrow.

I had thought about getting a hotel outside the airport but realised I pretty much only had summer clothes and Beijing isn't known for its warm weather in December so I'd jibbed out a bit and taken the easy route of a hotel within the airport, not even a shuttle bus away. And at £46 I was glad that I did. The bloke at reception didn't breathe a word of English after I greeted him with "wanshang hao!", and it felt like I was on a roll from a Mandarin perspective. Again, a convenience store within the airport was to be my tea, and after that and a couple of Budweiser Magnum 5.5%ers I fell asleep for an hour or so, waking up at midnight. Hmm...what to do? I would aim to leave 9.30am tomorrow so would need more sleep. Maybe a couple more Buds? But that store had closed now. But this is China and that should not be a problem and someone told me there was another one by the carpark and indeed it was but two minutes away. So a couple more beers, my last hit of Mandarin, and indeed I was asleep again by 3am.

No chance...even though Andge and Awl would have