Back to China after 5 months

We couldn't wait more than five months before coming back to China for what may be our last time for a decent duration as Leilei is going to start school later this year.
Drive took 1h30 to Heathrow leaving at 3.50pm
Meal at airport
No sleep on flight - Xixi also not much
HK airport - Andrew realised he'd lost his wedding ring - we asked someone to look for it while we waited for luggage. Miraculously it was found and Andrew was relieved like a man who had had his first dump in seven days.
No time to catch last fast train to Guangzhou, so we arranged a 'bus' from airport. I asked twice if this bus would take us all the way to Guangzhou and was told it would. The bus was a black people carrier that carried us to the border then dumped us off to get on a coach in mainland China. To add insult to injury the company had put us in the wrong coach so we had to move all our stuff into another one in sweat-drenched clothes with half-asleep children.
We got to the stop that we'd been told was 15 mins from airport to be told it was 30 mins. By now it was pissing down with rain and I ran to the front of the hotel where the coach had stopped to arrange to get a taxi-van to take us to the airport. While sorting this out a woman who was on our coach said she was waiting for her husband and they could take us to airport as they had a van. Well I didn't look this gift horse in the mouth and said xie xie very much.
We crammed into the van which was actually very small, but we just managed to get everyone in plus luggage plus the driver's wife and her friend. And managed to crack open a bottle of whisky and took an Awl-sized lug. I managed a bit too. Due to fatigue we felt a little light-headed and shared a laugh as we realised we were now well and truly in China. We paid the man and wife 100 kuai for their time/petrol and got off at airport where we waited a few more minutes for cab to hotel (free service but they didn't allow us to go straight to hotel).
10 minute drive to hotel. Not greatest one on earth but we got some food outside and got to bed around 2.

Last day in China 2008

Last day in China 2008.

No time to be sad. Got up, washed and dressed the kids, went down for breakfast. The taxi driver we'd ordered for 11am turned up at 10am and we ended up getting to the airport with plenty of time to spare.

Don't want to dwell on today. We've been extremely fortunate that I've been allowed to "work from home" in China for two of the last three months and we've had the most wonderful experience - mostly from the kids' point of view. They've been spoilt rotten in some respects, but they've been out more, and expended more energy than any time in the UK, due to weather and sheer number of friends and family taking them out.

While I love to have my family and friends in the UK I understand that Tan has the same here in China. What do we do about that in the future? It's always more practical in the UK due to work/immigration status, but it seems so much nicer in China. Oh well, next plan is to buy a property over there and see what we may one day be able to sort out re family life etc...

As for the plane ride it was grim. Xixi didn't want to sleep this time and Tan and I got barely two hours' sleep each. Awl came to meet us at Heathrow and drove us back home, where And and Lisa, and Mum, Joe and Cat kindly came to see us to welcome us back - especially nice was Joe's welcome back letter which I should scan and put up. In the meantime, here's the last nice Chinese picture I have of Leilei in Shanghai airport.


Leilei in Shanghai airport waiting to go home

Back to Shanghai and tired meal with Tan's ex-boss

Despite Tan ordering tickets to Shanghai with not enough baggage allowance, we were allowed to put all our stuff through in Nanning airport.

Don't want to write too much as it is very sad to leave "home" even if it is for "home". That's one thing you won't understand if you're both from the same country and both like "home".

We arrived in Shanghai in the evening, and Tan's ex-boss took us out for a late meal even though we were shattered. It was a lovely meal but Shanghai wasn't as exciting as Guangxi. Or maybe it wasn't as exciting as the Shanghai three months' ago when we knew we were on our way to Guangxi. Well Xixi and Leilei stayed up till we got back to the hotel at midnight and I went and got a couple of farewell beers from across the road from the hotel.

Wedding meal at last night in Guangxi

We left Pingguo in a bit of a mess with last-minute travel arrangements etc... I've left half a suitcase of clothes here that I hope will be available and will fit next time I come.

A Zheng and his family gave us a lift down to Nanning, much as they'd given us a lift up to Pingguo over three months ago. The only nice thing about the journey was seeing Xixi at the other end. She now can shout "BA BA" whenever she sees me and it melts my heart.

In the evening we were scheduled to attend a wedding for a couple of which one was related to Tan's dad. Xixi didn't come due to the time but Leilei enjoyed it tremendously, especially the stage diving (well not exactly that).


Tan and her younger cousin A Heng during the wedding in Nanning


Leilei making shadows during the wedding for all to see


Leilei stage jumping

I was amazed by the rather thin groom's ability to put back copious glasses of white alcohol as he had to "ganbei" just about every other bloke in the room. He let me into a little secret afterwards, telling me it was just water. What a lightweight! During my Chinese wedding I had no such option!


I'm not sure you're supposed to eat the bride (not while everyone's watching anyway)


After the meal I let everyone go back in a couple of cabs and decided to go off to the famous "Zhong Shan Lu" which is a street full of sumptuous bbq with something available to every taste from vegetarians to full-blown serial killers. After walking for 15 mins I decided on a nice looking stall with a good range of food and oredered myself some octopus and some nice looking bits of pork. I sat on my own table and ordered myself a beer. Not wanting to eat alone, I said "cheers!" to the people on the next table and before I could finish my glass I was sitting with them, sharing their (and my) meal, and showing photographs of the family. We had a nice hour or so together, after which we exchanged phone numbers and QQ numbers, and promised to meet the next time I was in Nanning.


Friends made in Zhong Shan Lu

Later got a taxi home for my last night in Guangxi this year...

Last night in Pingguo 2008

Last whole day in Pingguo.

Oh sadness is me...tomorrow we shall go to Nanning shortly before heading home.


Leilei enjoying his last meal in Pingguo

Today we went for a terrific send-off meal with our friends. Then later I went out with some of my friends for a last night of drinks. We first went to a shop to buy stickers I could put on the back of my car to cover some of the peeling paint. Then we ended up in the bar of some friends which had just opened the previous day. It was actually a very nice place, with a touch of an English pub but still having a bbq place outside.


Me with the staff of the nice Pingguo bar we discovered on my last night

Later, much later, we somehow found ourselves in the Pingguo International Hotel, where I ordered the boys a vodka, until A Wu's wife A Ni came along after her shift at about midnight and I ordered her a Cointreau. Then the lads decided hers was the best drink so I ordered a couple more of them. For 4/5 people it came to 30 quid in all which was pretty expensive but sod it it was my last night here..

Whisky with Brandy's friend at the new hotel

The friend of Brandy-the-hotel-boss has been ringing me for a few days asking to take us out for a meal. So I told him the 26th may be good. True to his word he rang up to confirm today.

After picking up Leilei from school (no Christmas holidays here!) I went to meet A Wu at the Pingguo Internation Hotel, a new building near the town square where his wife A Ni has been working for the last few weeks.

We went to the bar and sat down while deciding what to drink. A Wu said he wanted to be British, or at least do something in that style, so I suggested a scotch. He was only too happy until it was served. The young lady at the bar had probably not had to pour such a drink before and she served us huge helpings. Unfortunately the scotch (it was Famous Grouse or some other half-decent brand) was rather strong for A Wu, even after we had watered it down to near-homoeopathic proportions with water, which meant I had to help him out with most of it. Still, he was willing to pose for pictures as he liked his "British" look.


A Wu looking like an English gentleman

The meal we had was nice, and gave us the chance to meet Brandy's friend's wife and son. I really should know his name though.

Christmas meal with friends and mulled wine

Happy Christmas!

Well it's our first Christmas in China and it's not the most Christmassy. However that hasn't stopped Leilei having fun.

I bought him a fake Lego present today (they don't have real Lego here), and while in the supermarket I bumped into three American girls. They are here for just a week or two to teach some English to the locals, and it was arranged by the American family living here.

Today I invited all our friends to come for a nice meal at an expensive restaurant as it was Christmas. In preparation I'd also managed to buy some cinnamon, brown suger, and oranges/apples all from the local market in order to make some mulled wine. In fact the mulled wine went down very well, except for A Xia who has recently found out she is pregnant much to everyone's delight. Unfortunately the cheapest house red was a fiver but one bottle seemed to suffice so not bothered there. The restaurant staff even layed on a "huo guo" thing to help us warm it up.

So, no Christmas tree with presents, but a lovely meal with friends which is more important in my book.


Our Chinese Christmas meal - lots of lovely grub for everyone!

Meeting the Americans

Tan and I went for another meal at the Ming Dien Coffee Language Hotel. Tan rang A Ni, who said she'd be around in 20 mins after a quick shower. Then she had the cheek to complain when she turned up over an hour later as if she wouldn't do the same.

Apparently Tan has been taking my advice about coming here to eat during the cold. At least she knows I'm always right (well...). I left when A Ni turned up as I needed to pick up Leilei from school.

Either today or recently I took Leilei to the Americans' apartment as I needed half an hour's sleep. Their apartment is very nice and rather grand for Pingguo. I noticed a message daubed in large red letters around the top of the wall in the kitchen: "IN THE BEGINNING GOD CREATED THE WORLD" or something to that effect. In another time something like that may have been illegal. Anyway I left Leilei playing Lego with his friends (or "Legos" as they say in American) and came back a bit later.

In the evening we went out for a lovely meal (for the nth time) with Tan's new circle of friends and their husbands. I made my own way on the electric bike solely as I knew this is the last week I'll be using it and I'll really miss it. Leilei was a bit naughty during the meal; he likes to spin the revolvable food holder around and when we told him not to he went out and did it on others' tables as in the video.

One-handed driving due to the cold

Drove Leilei one-handed to school in order that the other would survive in case of frostbite. If the minimum really is 7 degrees I'm shit-scared of going back to UK in one week. At least we'll have heating there. And jumpers.

Got back and fell asleep around 11am. I remembered to turn my phone off. This was good because I would have received three phone calls during catching up on shut-eye. However I was woken up by A Wu walking into my room at 2pm as he has a key. Apparently he had knocked but I'd not heard him - imagine if my phone had been turned off for a different reason and we hadn't heard him for that reason.... Tan came back at 3pm....

My note to self worked. I took Tan and Leilei to the Ming Dien hotel where we had another lovely meal for less than 7 quid. It's bloody cold now. I did go out for a little bbq and lamb huo guo as Tan's friends' had invited her but she was feeling a little ill so I stepped in. A Wu invited me to go to "sing song" but by the time I got there he had left as he was too drunk. Wanker. I would at least have let me know.

Getting colder but Ming Dien nice

Hell's Bells. We get a daily text message telling us the min and max temperatures, which is how I knew yesterday was 24 degrees. Last night's said 7-11 degrees. And this morning it was bitchingly cold on the bike to school. I allowed Leilei to put his hands in his pockets and held him tight with my legs during the 5 minute journey. Once back I managed to get some sleep during the day as the bed was the only place with warmth.

At 4.30pm the electricity went (it had rained a little during the day so I presume this is why). So as light would go by 6pm, and it would be hard to cook, I decided that after picking up Leilei I would take him to one of Pingguo's decent hotels for tea. We drove to the Ming Dien Coffee Language Hotel. Apparently they serve coffee there. And it has its own language. I didn't investigate, as all I knew was that this place was warm and...well that was all that was important. Because if you live further south than some line in China you do not get government heating, and if you live north of that line you do. I think that's the deal. Certainly no-one here appears to have any form of heating, presumably as it would only be useful for a month or two a year. For me that is more than enough reason.

Anyway, we had a lovely meal, and Leilei's teacher turned up for a meal with her friend. She was saying "poor you" to me as I was feeding my son, as if this was a woman's job, and came to our table and helped him eat his eggs and fried rice. I had bbq pork ribs with rice, greens, peanuts and pickled vegetables. Leilei's was a large helping of beef-fried rice with peppers, and two sticks of bbq pork plus a fried egg. We both got a portion of soup and a portion of some sort of omelletty jelly like substance that was quite nice. Plus as much warm water as we could drink. The bill came to 50 kuai, which was more than we may have spent elsewhere, but not that much and not in such nice surroundings. There were even Christmas trees and lots of lights to keep Leilei amused so I was able to eat in peace too. We took home a doggy bag with enough to fill an adult for the next day. Note to self: come back tomorrow.

Back to Nanning as missed the kids...and City lose again...

Woke up at 6.30am after four hours' sleep. I missed Xixi and Leilei too much so I took the electric bike down to the bus station to see what time the buses went to Nanning. As it turned out one was literally leaving that minute and I managed to stop it as it was driving out of the bus station. Called Tan while on the bus and it turns out she's in Shandong on the other side of China with a friend. She was supposed to be helping her sister sort out her pension in Guangzhou but something turned up and she had to go to Shandong to pick up some papers apparently.

I arrived at Tan's sister's house at 11am shattered, and found Xixi was asleep, so I went to have a rest with her. But I couldn't sleep as I just wanted to watch her. Later, when she woke up, she was happy to see me, and after going for a wee (her, not me) I took her and Leilei out to play for a bit. Leilei knows a lot of the boys in the complex now - they all go out with their "Tuo luo" (spinning tops) and have fights with them, as in which top is last left spinning. Spinning tops seem all the rage now in this part of China, more popular even than yoyos.

When I took Xixi to see the fish in the pond she shouted out "yu!", which is Chinese for "fish". She also knows how to shout out "Yeiyei!" when she sees her big brother. I am very proud of her.

I decided to take Leilei back to Pingguo in the afternoon as he has school tomorrow and I don't like him missing it. We got back around 6.30pm and went to A Wu's house for a meal as it was "Dong wei" or something like that; it means the first day of the winter, when traditionally families eat together. Well today it reached 24 degrees C and I was very happy about that indeed. I know that wearing tee-shirts in December is something I won't be doing for long...

Meal with A Ni's dad before the match later

As I was taking Leilei home I got a call from A Wu to go to the KTV bar to "sing song". I explained I had Leilei so would go for 10 minutes. This time I was true to my word. The room was full of oldish people and smoke. Leilei has a cough at the moment so and did a few "gan bei"s and left.

Stayed up to watch Man City provide probably their definitive performance of the season at WBA, as in, "we know that most of us are going to be replaced in January so we don't give a shit". Depressing. You might think that some of them gave a shit. Back in the bottom three where quite frankly we belong.

Too much KTV

Went to eat at A Wu's in the evening. During the meal got a call from Uncle Yellow to go and "sing song". Well I was supposed to go for a massage tonight as my back's been playing up, but I probably won't see much more of him this year so I accepted, and A Wu was invited too. Normally I do quite enjoy these evenings, but tonight I was absolutely knackered, having woken up at 11.30am after two hours' sleep. I don't know why I couldn't sleep last night. When we got to the karaoke room it was full of mostly drunk men, one of whom insisted I sit between him and some woman I didn't know (his wife, concubine?). I wasn't in the mood for drinking and reluctantly downed a number of thimble-sized glasses. We then room-hopped to a place that had some teachers from A Wu's old school, then a room with a friend who was celebrating his birthday. At each room I had to down more beers and sing songs. Actually room-hopping was far more enjoyable than the original room with the drunk men leching over the three women. Eventually at 11pm Uncle Yellow decided to leave and I went with him. He said there were too many undesirables that came into his room and spoilt it a little. I agreed with him and said it is one thing to enjoy a drink, and another to enjoy it while making others not enjoy it. I think he understood what I meant. As I was walking into my apartment complex A Wu was gesturing for me to come back and go to another karaoke room where some other friends were. But I'd had enough and had no qualms about losing face by telling him so.

At least I managed to enjoy a game of ping pong

The price of things...

Despite being on leave I dialled into a meeting as it was quite important. However, as I was enjoying being alone and geeking on the internet I got a call from A Wu asking me to go out and "drink tea". Needless to say no tea was drunk, but beer was. This time I hardly got drunk as I was too full from the bbq fish and fried sweetcorn.

I reckon things in China are on average 4.5 times cheaper than in UK. Some things, like labour are 10 times cheaper, whereas actual things (commodities?) can be three times more expensive. A bottle of beer from a shop is 30p, in a restaurant it is 35p, which doesn't reflect the 300% mark up we get in the UK. But a bus ticket for the 90 minute ride to Nanning is 3.50GBP, which would probably get you from London to Birmingham in the UK (if you really wanted to go there).

A haircut is one quid max. A laptop stand, complete with underneath fan to prevent overheating is just a fiver, but a half decent laptop will set you back 600 quid where in the UK you would get it for half that plus a valid version of windows. Queer.

Either way, when a 50 minute massage and head wash costs 1.50 you can't complain.

Staying up till 6am to see City lose...

No work tomorrow, but Tan and the kids went to Nanning today so that Tan can help sort out her 2nd sister's pension.

I took the opportunity to go out with A Wu and some friends to "drink tea" where nothing tea-like was imbibed and instead there was copious amounts of weak beer. There was a wedding celebration at the place we were drinking and the men there "forced" me to down a couple of glasses with them.

I eventually got home at about 2am, after being given a 9-pack of beers, only two of which I would be able to drink later. Later being staying up till 6am to see Man City lose dreadfully to Racing Santander in our last group match of the UEFA cup. I know we'd already qualified, but this was a crap performance and makes me wonder how long Mark Hughes deserves to stay in charge. I hate the fact that we appear to be able to not give an effort until the January transfer window arrives. We have a better team on paper than this time last year when we were in the top three yet we are not in the bottom three due to goal difference alone. Being a Man City supporter hasn't changed yet...


Playing cai ma with the lads

White Rabbit

Xixi isn't walking yet but she can do if you hold her hands. And she can get up on her own. Personally I don't rank walking half as important as being able to shit in the toilet. She's still not perfect at that by any means but one of my biggest highlights this time in China has been holding her over the keyhole shaped shithole and seeing her offload a pile of babydung.

Xixi standing - I didn't have the heart to show her over the toilet

Today, in a rather Alice-esque episode, a white rabbit turned up outside our window. Ok, it didn't say it was in a rush, but as we are on the 2nd floor I though it rather weird how it got there. It turns out it belongs to a neighbour who lets it run out on the roofs. At least it isn't a lemming. I asked the owner (a kid) what its name was and he said it didn't have one. That is a bit of a strange thing here. Pets don't have names.

A white rabbit

Work till 3am interleaved with KTV

I was supposed to be on leave today but something turned up at work, plus two people were sick, which meant I volunteered to work. Having said that I was invited to "sing song" at about 7.30 by A Wu. I couldn't make it due to work but ended up turning up at about 10pm when there were few people left. Not few enough, as friends from a nearby karaoke room turned up and drank beer with me till I was in a suitable mood to sing song.

I managed a couple of renditions of "Peng you" ("Friend") - a popular Hong Kong song in Cantonese. Eventually A Wu's wife turned up with a friend and I was given a break from singing. Someone had used my phone to video me doing karaoke, but as soon as I'd seen (worse, heard) I immediately deleted it. Wow - that was bad. "Spirit in the Sky" and "No Matter What" are best left to the professionals.

Back home I worked till 3am and when I got to bed Tan was asking why so late. It's an occupational hazard when you are working eight hours ahead of your colleagues. I wouldn't be in China without this though so she shouldn't complain.

A Wu's relative at the karaoke. I think the other bloke is her husband or something.

Leilei haircut for Mario Kart DS

I think I had a nice meal with friends today. Can't quite remember but it is a reasonable guess. Anyway, afterwards Tan was out so I took Leilei to have his hair cut as now literally everybody who doesn't know him thinks he's a girl. Literally everyone. I took him to Lao Ma's salon, who was Tan's good friend five years ago but now appears not to be. I'm not sure how the haircut turned out but at least people think he's a he again... At least he didn't complain and shave of all my arm hair this time - I'd promised him a game of Mario Kart DS if he didn't complain and he kept his word. Leilei's new haircut

Another wedding

We had to go to another wedding meal today. In fact it was a celebration of the "newly"weds' marriage and 30 days since birth of their kid. I got to meet more of Tan's extended family. I'm starting to think that nobody in this town is not related. It was a great meal and I only had about one pint of beer.

Some of Tan's dad's relatives

All related

Not buying an apartment

Sau zi came today and told me I wasn't to buy a flat in the apartment we had viewed because it was too expensive and too noisy. She had a strange explanation for why it was too expensive. Apparently when the materials were bought to build the apartment complex they were very expensive. Now, the materials are cheaper so the houses being built at the moment will be cheaper. Ok. So no-one will buy the houses bought when concrete was more expensive and they will be left empty? Something tells me even China's economy is not immune to the value of potential buyers' pockets. If the newly built houses are 25% cheaper are they going to keep asking 25% more for those just completed?

Xixi is looking cute though.

A smiling Xixi and mama

Lads' night out

Oh man, two weeks till Christmas and I saw my first Christmas tree today, outside a present shop. I must say it is rather a relief not to have Davidoff adverts rammed down your throat for three months before Christmas. I was on leave today and will be tomorrow too. Every day I get phone calls from friends asking me to go out and "drink alcohol" or "sing song" or whatnot and I've been turning them all down due to work. So recently I've been telling people "On Thursday I'll have time for fun ok?". Xixi was supposed to come back on Saturday but in fact, to our pleasant surprise, she came back today. This was absolutely great but it meant Tan, who'd arranged to go for a massage, had to back down as I'd already arranged this evening off for some time. Strangely, today no-one rang me to ask me to go out. So I got on the electric bike and went for a little ride before calling A Wu who'd promised to take me to "sing song" today. Well, it turns out he'd fallen asleep as he had to drink beer with some friends earlier in the day. So I made him come down to the bbq place, and once we were there I rang a few friends to come and join in. Without exception, everyone I rang turned up within about 15 minutes, which was nice. Everything was on me and we had enough beer and bbq to keep eight men happy for three hours. When I went to pay, I realised I'd grossly underestimated the cost of bbq these days. The total came to 350 kuai (35 quid) and I only had 200 on me so I had to drive back home to get the rest of the money (and deliver some bbq to Tan, who by now had woken up with a hungry tummy), then go back again. No worries, it was a good night and I caught up with a few friends I hadn't seen in a while. With some friends on a lads' night out

Looking at houses

Yesterday I went to an estate agency to enquire about houses. I like the idea of getting some thing reasonably central, but Tan is keen on getting somewhere near the Guangchang (town square - the one 20x the size of Trafalgar). Today Tan and I both went to view an apartment in the block opposite where we live. In typical Chinese style, this was little more than a shell; when you buy a new house you are responsible for putting a floor in, painting the walls etc... We viewed a four-bedroomed apartment on the 8th floor. It looked ok, and costs 30k which is rather pricey for here. I think four bedrooms is best though as if I were to spend time here I would need my own study. Plus the kids won't always want to sleep in the same room. Plus we always seem to have Waipo or some other relative staying so we'd need a spare room.

Anyway, for 30k we'd need a deposit of 9k so that isn't going to happen just yet. But I'm in the house buying mood. Apparently we (Tan) could get a 10-year mortgage that would cost 250 quid a month. In the UK we'd probably need to spend that long saving up for a deposit.


A plan of the house we looked at (yes, they seem to reckon on four televisions) - sorry about the flash


The living room, and entrance to the apartment


One of the bedrooms


View from the 8th floor


A map of Pingguo (for future reference) - sorry about the flash

Clothes in China

Went to exchange my jumper for the largest one in stock, and it almost fits me. If I ever lived in China, clothes would be one of my biggest problems (the other would be dentists - they are like shops and you walk past watching people having fillings done - awful!). Having said that, it's similar for Tan in UK as there isn't a lot in her size (she says).

Got the 5.20pm bus back to Pingguo (leaving Tan to stay one more night) and remembered I'd promised Xiao Lu to "drink alcohol" with him when I met him last week. He is the ex-husband of one of Tan's ex-good friends, who I met the very first time I came to Pingguo over five years ago. He is a hairdresser. I called up A Wu and we met Xiao Lu at a bbq place near my house where we bumped into a table load of friends none of which I knew. Needless to say, beer was consumed and we played "cai ma".


Friends and beer

Mah Jiang in Nanning

Went to Nanning in the morning to see Xixi. We went in Tan's ex-best friend's husband's car as they needed to get their car serviced after its first 5000k. It is a very nice Toyota Camry, extremely quiet and comfortable. Xixi is currently a daddy's girl and gives me a big smile even if I haven't seen her for nearly a week. Leilei went to play with the neighbours downstairs and Tan went to buy clothes. Later that night she came back with a jumper for me with sleeves that just covered my elbows. It's called spatial awareness, darling.

At the neighbours' downstairs, they spend an inordinate amount of time playing Mah Jiang (I think it means the game of four winds). It's basically rummy with plastic tiles instead of cards as far as I can make out, but they take it pretty seriously as it's also a betting game. I was amazed at the bespoke tables they use for this game, designed to maximise playing time and minimise the time inbetween.


The automated Mah Jiang table

Meal with Brandy and an American English teacher

Brandy's friend, I only know him as that, rang me to invite me to eat at a place near the Pingguo aluminium factory. This is quite a common thing to do as there are many good places to eat there. Tan and A Ni and A Wu came too, and there was a handful of other friends there waiting for us. Although we were eating outside, the "huo guo"s warmed things up a bit. Part way through the meal, Brandy's friend rang someone up and invited him to come to the meal. The fact that he spoke English suggested there was another foreigner in town.

It was Steven the English teacher. A nice bloke, retired, with a deep Alabama accent that must be interesting for his students. He can sink beers pretty well too, and seems to manage here ok despite only being able to say "drunk!" and "too expensive!". Funny enough they were some of my first words too.


From left to right, a drunk friend with a car, Brandy the hotel manager, Steven, me, a friend of a friend, Brandy's friend who probably does have a name, A Wu.

A rather drunk friend drove A Wu and I back later on (the girls had already taken Leilei back). In fact he was much more than rather drunk. The drive to Pingguo Aluminium company normally takes under 10 minutes, but this bloke didn't want to drive over 20kph (about 6mph) and we had to stop to take a slash so the whole journey home took half an hour. At least we got there in one piece. Drunk driving is commonly accepted, it seems, inside the towns. To do this on the motorways though would be considered a serious offence; they even belt up there. It made me think of Xiao Liao, after a particularly boisterous "sing song" a few Sundays ago followed by a trip to a local night club, throwing up all over the dashboard of his shiny new Volkswagen Touran. I wasn't there to see this, but the thought of him getting into his car early the next morning to go to work (unaware of the previous night's excesses) and finding a stomach-load of vomit covering most of the inside brought a smile to my face.

Self portrait

Leilei has been having fun using my camera. Most of the shots are rubbish but this self-portrait is ok.

That terrapin was dead and not hibernating right?

One of Tan's friends, A Hua, who gave Leilei the two terrapins he didn't ask for, told me today not to worry about terrapins not eating. Apparently at this time of year they hibernate. Suddenly I had a very bad feeling about the 'dead' terrapin I threw in the dustbin when I got back from Hong Kong the other week. I'm consoling myself with the assurance that the dead one had his head and flippers hanging out and the hibernating one is all tucked in. Also I did check the dead one an hour after I put in the bin to make sure he really was a stiff.

I'm 99% sure he was dead.

Getting cold in the morning

Despite most of the locals getting into panic mode about the cold, it only seems to be really cold early in the morning around 7.30am. At that time it is really beastly taking Leilei to school on our electric moped. However, I shouldn't complain as it is a 5 minute ride and I can be back in bed soon after.


Leilei looking like a rapper dressing up for school

Dog meal

The last week has been particularly busy with work and not much sleep or fun.

I had been invited out by Uncle Yellow for lunch somewhere "outside Pingguo". As I had already arranged to go for a meal with Tan's friends at 5pm I had clarified with him that I'd have to leave at 4.30pm.

Uncle Yellow turned up with a friend at around 1pm and took me to the main Pingguo market to buy some greens and a dog. Unfortunately I had to leave them to get the dog for themselves as I had to let A Wu into our house for...I can't remember what...but we are brothers so it is ok - my house is his house apparently.

I was expecting a long drive outside the town but in fact we only drove across the river to a quiet spot. In fact this was a beautifully serene location that I had forgotten existed a mere 5 minutes away from the hubbub of central Pingguo. I even got the opportunity to take myself on a walk for the best part of an hour across the railway to an unknown village where I was offered the cutest puppies for 10 quid.

Our lunch (a dead dog so click to see - don't want to frighten anyone)


Cute puppies asleep


Pleasant countryside

When I got back there were a few more blokes; two who I'd met fishing on my walk, and 6 others who'd turned up for the meal and beer. It turned out to be a very nice meal consisting of mostly dog meat and chillies. I learnt a hard lesson there: don't eat neat chillies then drink non-diet Coca Cola to cool your mouth. I had to keep cold beer in my mouth for ten minutes afterwards and could barely speak.


Eating dog meat and drinking beer

We ate dog and drank beer from 3pm (it was a late lunch) till 4.30pm when I got a call from Tan reminding me I had to come back to go for a meal with her friends. I hadn't forgotten, and was already preparing to go. Anyway, we had another sumptuous meal with her friends and some of their husbands, and some kids. Noisy, but fun and extremely good nosh. The bill came to over 70 quid and I wanted to pay but they were having none of it. Ok, there were 15-20 people but that is still a lot of money compared to wages here. I still can't understand the prices of things here; why you can't get a decent jumper for less than 40 quid but you can get an hour's massage for 1.50. I will look into it.

Tan and the girls at yet another wonderful meal

Reunion meal among others...

Tan's girlfriends had organised a meal together, as is their wont. However, Tan couldn't go as she had to go to a school reunion meal. She didn't want me to go there as she was worried her ex-colleagues would force me to drink tReuoo much. I told her it would be rude not to go, and that they would want me to be there but she was having none of it. Although Tan's friends didn't cancel the meal, they arranged another one for tomorrow as well as it wouldn't be the same without us apparently.

So I went with Tan's friends to a rather nice restaurant. At this time of year "huo guo" is very popular; it is basically a large pot of soup in the centre of a large table that you add stuff to to cook, like raw meat, mushrooms, tofu, greens etc. It's a great way of having a social eating event. We have had a couple of these in the UK and all English friends have also really appreciated this way of eating.

Predictably, about half an hour into this meal I received a call from Tan saying her ex-colleagues wanted me to come to their meal, so I didn't say "I told you so" as I know too well, and explained and left the meal. However I'd forgotten I said I would meet our landlady's husband and A Wu for a meal. I got a call from A Wu as I was leaving the meal with Tan's friends and had to pop in to the meal with a now drunk landlady's husband together with six or seven other drunk men intent on getting me into their state. I did my best compromise by playing a few rounds of "cai ma" and generally winning, sending them into fits of laughter and higher states of drunkeness, then made my excuses and explained I had to attend the wife's reunion.

Eventually got to the restaurant where Tan was. They had ordered one of those voluptuous rooms where the chairs have dresses and the tablecloth is really clean. Apart from Tan there was only one other woman (except for someone's mum); she has a bit of a reputation...a very well-known and scarlet reputation - apparently every single man (and some not-single) "know" her if you know what I mean. I think she is the reason no other women were there. She could drink for China, mainly prefering a mixture of half red wine/half lemonade (a good choice with most Chinese red wine).

The men, with one exception, were in a greater state of inebriation that the group I had just left, and really did try to force me to drink large glasses of beer (by the glassfull). I was literally so full I could not drink even though I wasn't drunk, so I hit upon the great idea of challenging them to "cai ma". Now, normally, when playing cai ma, you should be able to beat people who are very drunk. However, this time they must been lucky as I lost badly and had to drink more than was comfortable.

Anyway, I came out of it unscathed; I used Leilei as an excuse to leave early and take him home for a shower while the rest of them staggered off to karaoke from which Tan returned at nearly midnight with scathing stories of the scarlet woman. Apparently she offered to sleep with the only non-drinker of the male contingent if he had a drink. Now that's a sobering thought.


Some of Tan's school mates from primary and secondary school at their reunion (I don't need to point out the scarlet woman)

KTV with Brandy

At about 9pm, while enjoying a relaxing head massage/wash I received a call from Brandy the hotel manager to "sing song" at my local karaoke bar. I wasn't really in the mood but I said I'd be around later after I'd had a bite to eat. So I went to have a quick bite to eat at the bbq place but kept receiving texts from Brandy like: "Friend: can't smile without you..." which was a bit weird as I'd only known him for a month.

I turned up with A Wu to be greeted by him and an entourage of female teachers who were staying at his hotel for some convention. There was also an old couple, one of whom was the headmaster and friend of Brandy's from their hometown in Guangdong. Brandy likes to drink Budweiser beer from the bottle, and likes others to too. He was quite drunk and got everyone up dancing (except for me). I suddenly then had the microphone slung in front of me and was told to "sing English song". The people here seem to think that I know every song that's been written in English, and had chosen "Say you, say me" by Lionel Ritchie. Now I know that song insofar as like everyone I know the chorus. I don't have a bloody idea how the rest of it goes though, even if the words are up in front of me. So it was not a great performance, despite Brandy's best drink-fuelled efforts to sing the verses in slurred broken English. I ended up doing my party piece "Ni shi wo de mei gui hua" which is becoming a bit of a cliché now, but the Chinese seem to appreciate it. Note to self: learn a new Chinese song (in not too high a key).


A rather amusing video to a popular Cantonese song


Dancing at karaoke (not me)

Leilei's lady friend

Apart from work, the only thing I remember about today is meeting Leilei's lady friend at school. Apparently he told Tan that she's the prettiest girl in the class. Glad to see he has good taste.

Leilei and lady friend

Elders' singing

Every night from around 8pm till after 10pm without fail from our apartment you can hear these strange wailings as though there is a gathering of depressed ghosts and each one is trying to show off that s/he is the most depressed. Well tonight I decided to investigate the source of such sorrow.


I had to hold my phone discreetly so as not to cause suspicion. However that is difficult when you are caucasian here.

It transpires that the elders of the town congregate to sing harmonic songs to attract the other sex. They sit in pairs or groups of 3 or 4, segregated by sex, and the blokes will start singing to show off to the women. The women will pretend to ignore the men for a bit, then, when suitably impressed, will start singing back. I think this is a throwback to when they were in their youth but I find it very heartwarming nonetheless. If they really were teenagers they'd probably be told to go away and stop loitering.

Generic battery charger brings camera back to life

I've hardly used my camera in the last two months as I cleverly left my charger plugged in in the UK charging my spare battery. It has taken that long to realise that an 80p piece of equipment will actually charge the battery. It looks like a slightly dangerous piece of 1940s equipment that might have been part of a lie-detecting machine. You just have to line up the two metal fingers against the battery's exposed contacts, plug it in and Bob's your uncle. It's important not to do this in the bedroom overnight though as it does rather give a disco effect.

My amazing battery charger - fits just about all mobile phone and camera batteries.

With my camera back (a Panasonic TZ3 - great 10x optical zoom in small camera but very poor in low light) I took a couple of shots from one of the local eating places just because I could.

A random pic I took because I had just got use of my camera back

A couple of pics I found in my camera that I hadn't used for so long:

A nice shot of some of the Family from our first week in China back in September. From left to right: Tan's eldest sister (Da jie), Tan's 2nd sister (Er jie), Tan's cousin's daughter, Tan's brother's son A Heng, Tan's brother, Tan with nice long hair, Tan's eldest sister's son Ling Ming, Xi xi, Wai po, a neighbour or cousin?, a neighbour or cousin?


Tan's second sister's daughter Chuan Chuan with Xi xi

Flying back to Nanning

Although there was nowhere to go out to watch the football last night, I did check on the Internet and found Man City thrashed Arsenal 3-0 so I had a happy, if short, sleep.

Can't be bothered to describe the hassle I had getting the shuttle service to the airport. A ten minute walk turned into nearly an hour due to misinformation and the peculiarly foreign persuasion for not being able to say "I don't know". Those three words would save soooo much time. But whether you are in France, Spain, Portugal or China (not Germany) you will never hear those sacred honest words. People will rather send you on a wild goose chase than admit they might possibly not know the way.

Well luckily the 40 minute journey to the airport took 25 minutes on this Sunday morning, and I had ample time to check in for my 10.10am flight. There were no more spaces on the evening flight with Tan and her sister and the kids and quite frankly I wasn't complaining despite the 3 hours sleep.

Once in Nanning I bought my train ticket 2 hours early before going to Tan's sister's house to pick up my laptop. I got back to the train station with half an hour to spare so had a meal there. The young ladies serving there took pity on my carrying 3 bags so served my plate to my table (not a usual service). I think they really appreciate a smile and a kind word here - something I rarely see the locals give. I made the right decision by buying my train ticket early. My car was full of standing passengers by the time we took off, and although I normally involve myself in some sort of social intercourse during these transits, I was so tired I just played card games on my phone for most of the 1hr20min journey.

At home I had the boring job of washing clothes and putting them out to dry. I found out that one of the terrapins had snuffed it while I was away. I was annoyed with A Wu as I'd asked him to look after them and he said he would. I felt a bit guilty chucking him in the bin but what can you do?

Took advantage of the fact that Tan and Leilei won't be here till tomorrow by having a relaxing duty-free (from Hong Kong) Gin and lemonade (I've tried to find tonic water). And now it is time for bed.

£200 pair of shoes

Checked out of my comfortable hotel at 11am and went for lunch before 12 in the only place I could find that wasn't touristy. There are more foreigners here than in Shanghai, it appears to me. Walked the 10 minutes to the train station and immediately got a train to Guangzhou East. That meant a tube ride across the city but I like that. Met up with Lao Li and the kids as the women were still shopping... Eventually they came back...I asked Tan where we were eating and she told me we were eating at Lao Li's again. 30 minutes later we were being told to get ready to go to a local restaurant, where we had fish heads and more interestingly, cocooned silk worms that Leilei and I had chosen; apparently a very good source of protein.

Rather than going to bed, the ladies decided to go shopping. So I went with them, with Leilei and Qiqi. We took a taxi to downtown and the shopping centre was like a very modern European one. So too were the prices. In fact prices were considerably more than in the UK for brands.

As 9 o'clock rolled around I decided to take Leilei back to the hotel for a shower and bedtime and leave the girls in their element. I knew Tan's sister wanted to get some shirts and a jacket for Lao Li but I wasn't prepared for what I heard later.

I'd showered Leilei and just got him to sleep at 11pm when Tan got back with a smile on her face and bags under her arms (better than under her eyes I suppose). It transpired that her sister had spent 15000 kuai (1500 quid) on clothes that evening. Surely that is a year's salary for most? She'd also bought me a present of a pair of shoes and I had to guess how much... 300? more. 500? more 800? more. I gave up at this stage. Apparently they cost 1700 kuai after a 20% discount. I kid you not this is a pair of 200 pound shoes. I was stunned. Surely I should have got these made to measure. It was a miracle they even fitted. But they did. And they are very nice. Dark brown leather made in Italy probably by virgins whose hands have never made contact with a man.

Apparently Tan's sister had spent so much that she had earned approximately 30% of what she spent in vouchers for that shop. "So the shoes were free!", said Tan. I nearly uttered the first syllable of the sentence that would have been: "No, the discount is built into the price of the original items - if the shoes where free, why would they be 20% off?" but then I realised I am happily married and would rather keep it that way.

I've discovered that Lao Li lived in Hainan Island for 18 years (Hainan is an island that is officially part of China). During that time, as he worked for the government, he had little chance to spent his fairly decent income as everything was effectively expensible. As such, he has ammassed a huge amount of money that he is happy to dispense of now that he has met Tan's sister (they were actually colleagues so they have known each other for some time). That makes me feel less guilty about wearing a pair of shoes that are worth more than my car.


A 200 pound pair of shoes

Kowloon

I was in no particular hurry to get to Hong Kong, so after getting up relatively late at 9am we trundled over to Lao Li's house for lunch of leftovers of yesterday's feast. I love the tiny passageways you find where people live. They are called "hu tou" in Beijing, but in the south we call them "xiao xiang". When you walk down one of these you can forget you're in a big city and instead just breathe in the cooking, trip over the manky cats, buy a cheap beer at any one of the many tiny shops catering for the locals. Again we had a couple of beers, but that is ok for midday. Then I went to the local tube station and took the 20p journey to the train station where I got a GBP7.50 train ticket to Shenzhen, China's border city with Hong Kong. I had been advised to take the bus to Shenzhen but I prefer trains and in fact the train takes little over an hour (not 3+ hours as I'd been told).

I still don't quite understand why you have to queue twice for passport/immigration checks. It took around 45 minutes but I thought Hong Kong and China were now more-or-less the same country. Apparently I couldn't be more wrong. For a start I don't need a visa to get into HK - by virtue of a British passport I get a seven-day pass. Once past the border control (like any other border control) I got some money out - it seems the HK dollar is nearly the same as the Chinese Ren Min Bi now - just over 10 per pound. Then I got a ticket for the train. I had no idea where to go but I saw "Kowloon" and I remembered watching Roland Rat as a teenager in the 80s when he was in Hong Kong, and the song: "Kowloon, Kowloon Hong Kong, we love Hong Kong...it's the place to be" - well something like that. So anyway, 40 minutes later I was in Kowloon.

Despite the taxis and buses awaiting I decided to walk to get a feel for the place. After a few minutes I already felt more at home despite the fact it was nice and warm at 7pm; the cars were familiar and drove on the left, without the need to honk every six seconds. The main difference was the taxis which all seem to be 70s Toyotas with red bodies and white bonnets and boots.

After half an hour I wondered if I was really in Kowloon. I was expecting bright lights but all I had seen were church schools presumably for expats. And my feet were getting tired and my tummy was rumbling. I asked a couple of girls where the Kowloon I was expecting was, and to my relief they said it was just a few minutes away and walked with me there. It transpired they worked closely with Nanning and so were able to speak Mandarin with me. They were interested about Pingguo and I think I advertised it well enough for them to come and visit one day. I left them on the corner and realised I had not spoken a word of English for five days. Result.

Kowloon reminded me a bit of Tokyo. Bright lights, but an air of safety and control. After 10 minutes of walking around I entered one of the smaller kitchens for my evening meal. Even there the manager and staff spoke Mandarin. I ordered some pork with green beans and rice. And a bottle of Spanish beer served by a young lady with a short yellow skirt. And then some goose. Then one more beer (nothing to do with the skirt). Then I ordered barbequed fish. A young couple sat down at my table and we eventually engaged in some conversation. It transpired they are both Chinese and Maths teachers, and of course speak English. So my five days without English came to an end but I was happy to share my fish as they shared their meal with me. They wouldn't let me pay for their meal but instead afterwards took me in a taxi to the walled city of Hong Kong just up the road.

I hadn't expected much of a cultural visit but we had a pleasant half an hour walking around the clean park and I couldn't help feeling if I had time and money Hong Kong would be a relaxing place to stay, if not as exciting as mainland China. At 9.30pm or so they took me to Kowloon station in a taxi and I caught the 10pm train back to Shenzhen. Although I'd only been there for a few hours, there was definitely something "home" about Hong Kong, but I was missing family, and although I could have stayed, it made more sense to sleep in Shenzhen at a fraction of the cost of HK.

I got back to mainland China around 11pm and got an inflated cab to the hotel that Lao Li had arranged for me. He has done business in Shenzhen and Hong Kong before so has "special rates" in a particular hotel here. In fact 18 quid is pretty damn good for the most comfortable bed since I left London. Made a bit more comfortable with the duty free Gin but don't tell Tan that. I did also buy a nice bottle of Baileys for Lao Li and Tan's sister. I hope he realises it's more of a woman's drink (I did try to explain but I think he stopped listening after I mentioned whisky).

Intuition

I'd planned to surprise visit for Tan at Guangzhou but her woman's intuition told her to give me a ring at about 9am when I'd managed, after some time, to find the bus to get to the hotel she was staying at. I was in no mood to lie, so I said I was in a bus in Guangzhou so she said she'd wait for me for breakfast. So much for a surprise.

We had a great lunch (11.15am is lunch here) together with a few beers with Tan's 2nd sister and her boyfriend, which they insisted on paying for. Then I took the kids to the Yue Xiu park, which despite the small entrance fee is quite large and beautiful The kids had a lot of rides including a boat ride that Leilei truncated by announcing he wanted a weewee when we were minutes from dry land. Later had a lovely meal of roast goose and stewed lamb at Lao Li's pad and came back for an early night at 9pm. Lao Li has a small flat just around the corner from the hotel we're staying at. I think it's paid for by the government, as is our hotel room as he is here on business.

Cancelled trip to Vietnam replaced by overnight coach to Guangzhou

Got up at 5.30am to the sound of Tan's sister packing for their shopping trip to Guangzhou. They left at 6.30 for their 8am flight and I left at 7 for my 8am train. The 3hr20min train journey was fairly uneventful except for the beautiful mountainous Southern Guangxi countryside. Also it took me 2 hours to realise that the soft background music of ethnic stringed instruments was in fact a loose overhead luggage rail. I felt as stupid as when 15 years ago I reached into my pocket to find 20p while going down the escalator at Tottenham Court Rd tube only to find that the budding violinist was nothing more than the unoiled escalator itself.


That twanging in the background, I later discovered, was not a Chinese guitar but a loose Chinese luggage rail.

Pingxiang is a border town with Vietnam, where Tan's eldest sister "Da jie" lives. She was waiting for me at the station and we went to her flat where the old government building was. It was a bit refreshing not to have so many locals shouting "hello!" and "I love you!" at me, as here they are pretty used to seeing foreigners.

Had a nice lunch with Da jie and her husband, then she explained she had arranged for someone to take me to the border and wait for me to come back. She was also under the impression that I would stay a few minutes just to get my passport stamped. I explained that I might want to stay a bit longer but she said it was too dangerous, especially in smaller places. I knew that arguing further would just result in trouble so I made a decision on the spot not to go to Vietnam at all. As Tan and Leilei were in Guangzhou, an hour or so from Hong Kong, I decided I'd go there that night and save Vietnam for a time I didn't have to tell everyone my every move. Actually it was a bit of a relief as I hadn't learnt any Vietnamese and I'd rather go off the beaten track.

My decision to go to Guangzhou was accepted by Da jie and we immediately went out to buy a ticket for the overnight bus that left at 7.30pm. By now I was knackered and after we'd bought some food for the evening meal I fell asleep for an hour. By the time I woke up there was a lovely smelling huo guo awaiting me. After another hearty meal and a shower we took a three-wheeler cab to the bus station where I got my first experience of the overnighter coaches. I immediately wished Pingxiang had an airport. The coach had three columns of rather thin bunk beds (wouldn't get away with that size in UK). Luckily I was near the back on the left on the top so I didn't have anyone clambering over me to get to the loo. Unfortunately that meant I was doing the clambering during the three times I had to go to the loo during the journey - the last time I kicked some poor bloke on the head as even the aisles had filled up with sleepers for the journey. Unsurprisingly after a few hours the coach began to hum - so much so it wasn't even worth holding in my own farts. The journey itself was reasonably eventless apart from an hour's delay when the police stopped us to search all our bags, presumably as many of my companions had come from Vietnam. The bed itself was comfortable despite its lack of girth and I managed 6 hours of broken sleep.

The grim confines of an overnight coach. Worse if you are sleeping in the aisle and receive my stinky sock in your face while I'm trying to go to the toilet without waking people up.

Need to leave China to fulfil visa obligations

A lot of work in the morning, then I took the bus to Nanning in the early evening as I have to go to Vietnam tomorrow. Xixi has gone with Waipo and Tan's brother's wife to Bangxu (their hometown) so wasn't there to see me, unfortunately. Leilei was though and despite having a whale of a time there always runs to me with a big hug. Tan and the others have been telling me I have to get the bus to Ping Xiang, the Chinese town near the Vietnamese border where her eldest sister lives, as the train takes 5 hours and the bus takes 2. I prefer the train so I looked up on the Internet and apparently the train takes under 3 and a half hours and the bus takes over 3. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it. At 9pm I took a taxi to the train station and bought my ticket for tomorrow morning for 1 pound 70p (my US keyboard doesn't have the pound sign, well it does but in American that means the hash sign...). It actually takes 3h20 mins and the bus (subject to traffic jams) is just about the same time and costs six quid. This is why I never take Chinese advice at face value.

In fact Tan was originally going to come with me to her big sister's town, but then she was invited by her 2nd sister to go to Guangzhou shopping (a one hour flight away which her sister is paying for). So unbeknown to me she arranged for A Wu to accompany me to Ping Xiang. Something I only found out yesterday. I told him it was unnecessary and I didn't want to put him out. He said he had no work for the rest of the week as he hadn't been paid so it wasn't a problem. Also he said it was very dangerous going to Ping Xiang as robbers could get on the bus and steal from you. Of course he assumed I was taking the bus, but he also assumed I would be in Vietnam for 5 minutes and he would wait for me. When I explained I might want to spend a night or two in a country I'd never been to before he then realised it might not be so convenient to wait for me there, or even go there.

I really hate being mollycuddled. Thankfully I have managed to get out of it this time and will travel unaccompanied to Vietnam. Although having read about it I'm not so keen as I was before. I don't speak a word, I don't have a map and I don't know the name of the nearest town. Oh well, we'll see.

Double decadence head wash

Mostly work. Although A Wu took me out for another head wash after lunch (that's double decadence) although I paid.

Awfully painful massage but back to Pingguo alone to eat and watch footy

Woke up with a bigger pain in my back that made it hard to get out of bed (as if morning wasn't reason enough). I decided to walk it off by going to the bank to get some money (a lot of money) for Tan's teeth. On the way back I nearly collapsed when walking down a step, something that made an old man shout at me in a language I didn't understand or care to at that time. I got back in time for a bite to eat then I was taken to the local massage place to fix me.

As is quite normal, the massage place rang the masseur to come and ten minutes later he arrived (presumably he was just about to sit down for his lunch). I'm sure he isn't really a sadist, but the next hour was tortuous as he stretched me and applied an undue amount of pressure to not just the base of my spine where the pain resided, but even places like my bum. As if the fact that it was a man massaging me wasn't bad enough, he finished by pushing the base of my spine so hard tears nearly came from my eyes. I swore to myself he wouldn't break me and I just managed to hold out. It was only later I realised I was supposed to say when it hurt so they know when they've applied enough pressure... For some reason he asked for my name and number. I was now very worried as he had massaged my bum cheeks but this is China and I didn't want to lose face so I gave him my number and hope I will not get a call.

I got to the train station late, with a bruised back, and was unable to get a seat on the way back to Pingguo (leaving Leilei, Xixi and the wife in Nanning).
After a light snooze in the early evening I got a call from Uncle Yellow - saying I had to go out and drink beer with his police friends. Fine, I said, come round to my place - I'll just get ready. He was there a minute later saying they had been waiting for me for a long time. I reminded him that he had only called me two minutes ago and that I needed a shower. Even so, when I got on his motorbike he was almost chastising me telling me they had been waiting for ages. Life's like that sometimes here.

Actually I'd eaten some deep fried chicken that was rather cold on the inside on my way back from the train station in Pingguo. It chose the moment I arrived at Uncle Yellow's friend's house to take effect. After saying hello and managing a couple of beers with some men of varying rank I accepted the obvious that I would have to squat in some dirty shithouse and just hoped I would come out of it unscathed. It was with unfettered joy that when I went I spied a European style proper toilet for only my third time in Pingguo. Despite its dirtiness and loose seat (I reckoned it hadn't been used in years) and although my stomach was churning and painful, the 15 minutes I needed were of considerable relief. I emerged from the toilet a new man, and despite the queue outside I marched through to the dining table and munched my way through duck and pork, and drank a fair few beers with the lads.

I was taken home at about 10.30pm as the lads had been drinking since midday and were feeling tired, and what with working the next day etc... I wanted to watch the Hull v Man City match that started at midnight (sometimes it's great to not have the wife and kids around) so I wondered how to spend the next hour or so. Not for long. I know that in the UK I wouldn't have the sort of options I have here, so I walked over to a local hair dressers and went for a hair wash/face wash/massage. 50 minutes of pure decadence that I have no guilt about (especially for 2 quid). Much more remedial than the excruciating massage in Nanning.

Ok, the game wasn't great with a 2-2 draw, but the previous hour made up for it a bit. Good night's sleep till 9.30 the next morning.

Back to Nanning and badminton coaching

Once again got the 12:49 train to Nanning. I made sure I got a seat even though the one on my ticket was taken. Once more got into conversations with others around. One woman, I think, was trying to marry me off to her younger brother's daughter. And this was after I'd shown photos of my family.

Once I got to Nanning I took out Leilei, Xixi and Qiqi big brother to the People's Park. Actually it is a bit of a handful with a 1, 3 and 7 year old plus a pushchair but I think I managed ok. Leilei has got into Qiqi's spoilt habit of wanting to have a go on lots of rides and buy more toys, so I was fairly strict and allowed them to go on just a couple of rides. They moaned a bit but once we were out of the fun park area they were fine. I think Qiqi needs a bit more of that treatment. Both the half-bloods (that is the literal translation I believe - sounds like something out of Harry Potter) were cooed over - especially Xixi. I can't imagine how many young girls' mobile phones contain pictures of her, her big brother and to a lesser extent me. Probably around 110 (I can imagine really).

Speaking of mobiles, it's interesting that most people, especially men, have rather large PDA-type Chinese branded mobiles. I suppose it's fashionable but on a hot day, wearing light clothes, they must weigh you down loads. It doesn't appear that the mobile Internet has caught on here though. We do have "Edge" mobile networks but data costs are pretty high so as far as I know no-one uses it. I'm sure there's a market here; at home most computers are never turned off, and there's constant chatting through QQ (like Chinese yahoo messenger). Maybe they see home as a place to do that sort of thing, and outside of home a place to be with friends and not constantly tapping away at a phone. I hope that's the reason.

In the evening I went to play badminton with the bloke who lives on the first floor (the one who takes Xixi out most days) and his son. We got to the courts at 7.30 and it was nearly empty. Really empty considering there were 28 courts. Leilei and Qiqi came along as well as we couldn't prevent them. The bloke's son warmed up with me and then I foolishly challenged him to a game 10 minutes later. I think it was 21-6 in the end but he probably gave me most of my 6. I felt wretched afterwards and guzzled a bottle of water. That was the only competitive game I played. The rest of the time was sorely needed practice and looking after Leilei as he wandered onto other courts picking up stray shuttlecocks. Funnily enough the Chinese call the shuttlecock a ball. Even funnier is when they try to say "shuttlecock".

Finally I played the bloke himself and I think his son had worn him down as I was able to hit him around a bit. His son had given me a great piece of advice that literally transformed my game: "you are hitting the ball too low, hit it higher in the air". It takes advantage of my height and uses less energy so you get more power. I looked forward to using my new found skill the next day but aleady I had a sharp pain in my back. When we left at 8.30pm every court was being used.

Still ill but went for a ride

Still feeling shit but had to do some work anyway. I picked up Leilei from school at 12 just as the kids were getting ready for their afternoon nap (if you can call three hours a nap). Finally the batteries were starting to run low on the the electric bike they had breathed new life into. One of my favourite ways to spend 20 minutes is to ride around town during the day after a beer or two (not more) under the sun with the wind in my hair. It sounds dangerous but I haven't managed to get above 40 kph which is probably about 25 mph. Even at that speed I overtake just about everything else on the road. Most outsiders watching road behaviour would baulk at the prospect of taking charge of a vehicle here but in fact the trick is just to go slowly and honk all the time. I would call it disorganised non-chaos, and in fact it is a pretty efficient way of getting around. No stopping at junctions wasting petrol - just move into the road if no-one is beeping. I wasn't showing off... Tan took Leilei to Nanning on the bus (the train is seen as a rather low-class means of travel - I suppose you are not guaranteed a seat). So I had the afternoon to myself. I did try to sleep but I'm so bunged up it was too difficult. She is going to get her teeth redone. Later in the evening I got a phone call from her saying that she had had four teeth removed and to have them replaced would either be cheap, expensive or more expensive and which one did I want. Did I have a choice?