I dropped these off at home before proceeding to A Wu's office where I met A Ni, who said we could leave Pingguo at 7pm for our 9.50pm plane, and in one car too. I respectfully disagreed and said 5pm would be safer for various reasons, and we eventually agreed on 5.30pm, and that she'd drive too if we couldn't fit everything into the X6.
With that sort-of agreed I gave Haiwei a ring to see if he was about for a spot of last-day lunch. He said he was out of town but would be back in two minutes and would call me then. While I deliberated on waiting, one of A Ni's friends stood behind where I sat and reached out and touched my hand, saying she had never touched a foreigner before. It brought me back to 2003 when I was something different here, but I didn't take advantage in any way, just shook her hand in a normal way and said it was nice to meet her. She smiled nervously and I excused myself saying I had to see a friend for lunch.
Of course when I got to Haiwei's office a few minutes later he wasn't there, so I went across the road to the supermarket to check if my gin had been delivered but of course it hadn't, not that it mattered now. When I got back Haiwei arrived and luckily this time we didn't drink tea for an hour before lunch. The said lunch started as Haiwei, a client of his from Guangzhou, and me. We took a table that could have seated no more than six. We were served a huge orange-coloured hotpot after we'd chosen far too much meat for the three of us to humanly eat in one sitting. Then we were served some "Guilin fu ru", a spicy lump of tofu, which A Wu had nearly 10 years previously translated as "waiting for you" in one of his more successful attempts at humour. Then I realised he was absent so took a picture of the Guilin fu ru and sent it to him with a message I was waiting for him.
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| Guilin fu ru (waiting for you) - sounds like the name of a song |
Well instead of A Wu, some rather portly boss turned up in sports gear and sat down to eat with us. He continued to talk in the local Pingguonese to Haiwei, and I was aware that Haiwei's client understood less than me, so I engaged him in conversation. He did appreciate this and we talked a little about the differences between Pingguo and Guangzhou, but I felt it a little forced. I normally don't mind that but this was my last lunch and I wanted to chill out a bit. The client didn't drink, but the portly boss did, as did three other gentlemen who turned up presently. After a little while, the conversation got louder, and more in tune with having fun. I still felt a little for the client, but blimey if I could join in then so could he.
Then A Wu did turn up with another bloke, and all of a sudden from three people there were closer to 10 around the table, and the soup was topped up, and the meat ordered again. A Wu saw me use the ladle to examine what was in the soup, and as I accidentally allowed a couple of drops to fall to the table top he slapped the top of my hand as if to tell me off. Of course I took it in good humour and laughed to show I hadn't taken the slightest offence. Then, a tad later when it had been forgotten, I saw the portly boss do the same and immediately in front of everyone I slapped him on the top of his hand quite smartly in front of all. There were a few microseconds where I realised they were just waiting for his reaction, as he was evidently pretty high up in the pecking order, but before an intake of breath could be taken he laughed out loud, which caused the same across the whole table, including the non-drinking client. I never had a doubt of course.
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| The portly boss is bottom left...I need to learn how to breathe in more for photos |
The best part of the meal were the pumpkin leaves that we put in the hotpot soup for a few seconds before devouring. We must have had 10 portions of them before we were full. By this time Haiwei's wife and sons had turned up to help finish off the meal. Haiwei then declared himself full and tired and said he'd go for a sleep. So just like that, with no great do I said goodbye to the others, got in Haiwei's car back to the office, and gave him a hug goodbye and that was it till next time.
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| Succulent pumpkin leaves about to be stewed in stew |
A Wu had also gone for a kip as he was to drive us in a couple of hours, but I didn't have that luxury. Actually, I was hankering after something even better, a sneaky last massage where I might get a few minutes shuteye. I called Tan for some reason, and she had a go at me for something that didn't make sense, leaving her stressed even though I think the reason I called her was to ensure she wasn't. Oh well, it's always the same on the last day. She was at home, but I took her to Waipo's to be with the family for the last hour or so and I went to pick up a couple of provisions at the supermarket. I was still hopeful for a curtailed massage at least, but when I got home I found a few things I'd forgotten to pack. There is something about last-minute adrenalin that helps you find those small but important things you otherwise wouldn't have remembered existed, like battery chargers and Wii remotes that you haven't used for two months.
Then A Da called me to say they were waiting for me downstairs already. What? It wasn't even 5.30 and I had still thought I might be able to have half a massage. Well that thought was well and truly quashed. Apparently I was taking too long to come downstairs with the luggage, so two of A Ni's ladies came up to sort me out. Not in that way. They took down three large suitcases and the medium-sized ones between them, with A Wu and me in their wake. I told them to hang on as I needed to grab a couple of extra bits, but hang on they couldn't so I was left alone in the house for the last time for a long time. I took a breath, and walked into each room, naughtily wearing my outside shoes. The sadness beholdened me with each step into each room. Or maybe it beheld me, but it was sad anyway. There was a tad of gin left, so I toasted a solitary G&L to my favourite property and made my way out into the corridor for the last time in 2014.
As the doors closed in the lift I knew I had forgotten something. I jammed my foot to stop the doors meeting and ran back into the house. I rifled through the drawers in my study to find a small bottle of er gou tou from 2011 that I'd been meaning to take back as a souvenir for a few years. Not vitally important I suppose, but I got that American feeling of "closure", as I closed the door again, this time for the last time this year unless something amazing happens.
When I got downstairs A Wu was still working out the logistics of getting all our stuff into his BMW X6, but finally, by removing the spare wheel, we just about managed it. Tan was moaning about having too much luggage of course, but the bulk of it was hers and her blooming moon cakes. So with hand luggage on our laps, and some smaller luggage between our legs, A Wu, A Ni, and Tan drove out of our complex to pick up the kids at Waipo's, while I followed in the dian dong che.
Going to Waipo's from ours for the last time in 2014
There was no time for much drama there. Waipo and I had a hug, which she has now become used to on an annual basis and still hasn't learnt to make it appear natural. But I know she appreciates it. Then a hug for Chuan Chuan and a couple of handshakes and we were away, driving out of Pingguo again. Sad and sweaty.
We drove all of two minutes before stopping to get petrol. While filling up, I went to the shop and picked up a face cloth for a reason I would hope to fathom out later. It was really just a souvenir. I had brought an old (but clean) white Umbro tee-shirt with me that I had left in 2008 and never worn since. To me it meant something but I couldn't make out what. In what is possibly the worst attempt at charity ever, after going to the loo, I hung it up on a hook by some cleaning equipment in the vain hope that some cleaner lady (or gentleman) might see it and claim it for their own. For some reason, the image of it hanging there is imprinted indelibly in my mind. Hopefully I learn something from it.
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| Umbro tee shirt from 2008 is on the left. I shall learn nothing from this. |
The rest of the journey to Nanning was fine, possibly helped by the G&L. We arrived around 7pm and leisurely lined up in the queue we were told to go to, until a couple of minutes later I realised we were in the non-China Southern one. We actually asked an airport employee and told him which airline and he still got it wrong. This must be the seventh time in a row I've been sent to the wrong queue. Thankfully the China Southern queue was shorter, and I gave myself a mini fist-pump that the woman talked to me in Chinese. At least I did until she began to look worried and called someone else over. Then she became worried and called someone else over. When the three of them put on a triple-worry it became contagious and I too became worried.
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| The kids slept in the car at least |
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| Normally we take copious pics here - this year only time for one...sob sob |
Fed up of being worried I came to my senses and asked them what the devil was going on, although literally translated it was more like "what is the problem?". It transpired they thought we would have close to no chance of making our connection in Guangzhou, and the various phone calls they were making were to see if they could get us through. Apparently we only had 90 minutes in Guangzhou, but we'd have to do immigration. Suddenly, one of the ladies had the great idea of getting us on the earlier plane that was leaving in 20 minutes. She printed off the boarding cards pronto and ushered us in the way of security.
I nearly insisted in going to the lounge first, but Tan's eyes said otherwise (not to mention her voice). There was barely time for a hug for A Ni and A Wu before we went through, and luckily the gate was the closest but we were still the last on the plane. No time for sad goodbyes - I suppose that is the best way. Tan and the kids were right on the back row and somehow I was a couple of rows ahead. On the positive side that did mean I could enjoy a quick beer en route of a thankfully relatively low-turbulence experience during the 45 minutes in the air.
But bloody hell, at Guangzhou the queues were long enough to completely justify us getting the earlier plane. No way we'd have made our connection with even half the wait on the later plane. Also, it meant we had the luxury of an hour or so in the lounge, which at Guangzhou is one of the nicer experiences, and they have cold beer if you ask them nicely. I ended up chatting to some of the nice lounge hostesses and they plied me with red wine, which I hadn't had in weeks. It was more interesting than chatting to the South African ladies we'd been sitting with before, who didn't have a kind word to say about China, and I think they thought I would tacitly agree. One of the hostesses kindly came to us to let us know our flight was ready for boarding, even though this wasn't an advertised service. Having said that, we were some of the last people to board yet again. The plane left the gate well before time but after taxiing for a few moments stopped and we were told there were technical problems, which kept us that way for an hour. They shouldn't say that. Luckily, I'd taken on a couple of provisions from the lounge, and they didn't stop us going to the toilet.
Finally we set off, up into the night. Maybe it was the wine, and maybe it was the couple of co-codemol I had taken for my back, but I had barely eaten my meal when I left Leilei watching his film and drifted into the arms of Morpheus. Well it had been a long day.
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