I was falling into being lazy and not doing much so I decided I should go out and have my feet washed. Tan didn't feel like going out so I went to the Mingdien hotel where I'd been last year with Awl and the year before with A Wu. I got there soon after 3pm but was slightly saddened to hear that they hadn't had this service for two months now. I wonder if it was in any way related to the other services they offered on the next floor up, also known as the 12th floor.
As the receptionist wasn't aware of any other such establishment I rode around for a bit but not knowing exactly what to look for. I stopped outside the girls' favourite doctor and asked him if he knew of such a place. As it happened he said he did. He closed, but didn't lock, his doors and got on his motorbike and bade me follow him. Two minutes later I was outside a nondescript place where I was told I could get a foot wash. After saying thank you to the doctor I was ushered upstairs to the first floor and greeted by a woman who was rather more excited that she should have been to see me.
I sat down and she brought in a wooden pale of dark brown water as I had been expecting. I really tried to put my feet in but the water was so close to boiling it might have just come out of the kettle. I gave my most manly semi-scream but she just laughed that sort of heartless laugh that shows you have simply not come across anyone with sensitive feet before and don't believe they exist. But she offered to help me. I accepted, but by this she meant grabbing my feet in her hands and forcing them, albeit slowly, into the murky water. This time I was too scared to kick out and nearly bit my tongue as she forced them down, telling me not to move as it would only be worse if I did.
Lord knows how I did it but I let her drag my dirty feet down to the bottom of the pale. Stupidly, just to test her hypothesis that moving would make it worse, I waggled my feet a little when I thought I had got used to the pain. Blooming hell it was like putting them in all over again and I would have pulled them straight out had that not had the potential to be even more painful. I was almost literally glued to the spot, not able to move. I was her slave and she could have done with me as she wished. Unfortunately she just wished to massage me at first, so I didn't argue.
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| My poor feet after taking them out of the boiling herb water |
In fact we fell into a conversation of sorts. As is usual, I used that horrible thing that decent attached pretty girls use when receiving attention from blokes in public places: I acknowledged that I had a wife, and to make matters worse she was a local lass. But funnily this didn't seem to dampen her enthusiasm in the least. She was full of smiles and laughs and kept slapping me quite painfully on the feet with her laughter when I talked about Tan coming from Bangxu. She did make me promise that I'd look out for a boyfriend/husband for her in England, though. Forget Chinese Brides - how about EnglishGrooms.com? She talked about how she'd done an American woman a few years ago and we eventually realised it was the mum of the family we knew back in 2008/9/10, who had subsequently moved on to Kunming. She was so excited to talk about them and their blue eyes it made me open mine. I had a selfish mirror-mirror-on-the-wall moment and asked how well the American woman spoke Chinese. "Very well", she said, "but not as good as yours". Phew, I could put the mirror away for a bit. I would be gutted if I heard otherwise but should not be surprised as I've not really bothered to learn the language really, just got used to it like a child.
Unbeknownst to me I'd ordered the full Monty. Not what that might mean in the UK, but rather a foot wash and a full body massage. I was in no position to complain. Haiwei called at 5pm to invite me to his place for supper and I was happy to accept - I just told him I'd be there soon after the massage, forgetting that I had forgotten where he lived - such details seemed unimportant. Well she did my arms and legs and spent a good deal of time on my back, including walking up and down my spine. When she finally finished I saw it was 5.40pm and I'd had two full hours of her time and realised she must be quite strong despite her fairly slender physique. If I ever were to try to pair up such a young lady (with 10 years experience) I would make a point of mentioning this.
I breezed downstairs and was told it was 100 kuai. I thought this was a bit steep - not because of what it was but because I imagined other places would have been more like 70. But I shouldn't have been fussy at all - two full hours massage and boiling of feet would be over a ton in the UK.
I took the dian dong che to where I thought Haiwei lived. My memory was good but a couple of years too old as I went to his old place. It was a bit tricky being guided from there as I was in the wrong place completely but by hook or by crook we somehow managed in Mandarin to get me where I was supposed to be. Haiwei is a good cook, and I particularly like these sorts of family meals where when you are invited you know it is because you are trusted and appreciated, as there are typically at least three generations of family there.
There were some lovely greens, which I always indulge in, and some duck that was probably squawking about a couple of hours previously. The beer waited a good 20 minutes into the meal but it did come presently, as did more guests during the early evening, as did cai ma. I really enjoyed this evening but I got a call from Leilei asking me to pick him and Xixi up and take them out. That was more important so I explained this to the blokes around the table and they heartily agreed, and after a final couple of gan bei's I shook everyone's hand and made my way out at around 8.30pm.
I picked up the kids and they really wanted to do the 5D thing again. That was fine by me so we went and there was no queue this time. We chose the "mine" theme, and the three of us sat at the back row for maximum effect. This time was much more exciting than yesterday, and there were no disturbing bloody scenes. The 3D seemed to work better for me and the parts when we were falling down vertically were brilliant and I found myself holding onto both Leilei and Xixi. I think I also found out what the fifth dimension was; at times there was smoke blown onto our legs as we went past particular points, so I guess that counts as another dimension. I look forward to doing this one again - a bargain at 5 kuai per person for a good five minutes each. When we got off there was a veritable queue to get in too!
I remembered I'd told Tan I'd go and order a couple more prints that would actually fit in our suitcases to take to England, so we went home and I picked up the micro SD card with them all in. At the Zui Ai place there were some good choices, but rather expensive. Except I need to realise that frames are more expensive than prints. So I ordered a couple of reasonably-sized ones, and a smaller 10" one of the kids in a cute frame for the grand total of 560 kuai. Glad I was slightly tipsy.
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| Xixi testing a frame - pretty as a picture |
The kids knew that Chuan Chuan was going to KTV later so I had to give her a ring to see if they could go with her. Of course they could. She turned up in Yima's dian dong che one minute later to pick them up and I thought I'd better go home. But it was only 9.30pm, so after driving around for a minute or two I had the idea of seeing my Japanese-racist friend whom I think I will change one day at the Beihai seafood place. He was there sitting with friends and we had a nice hour or so eating some greens and having a few weak gan bei's and almost no mention of the Japanese. A nice way to round off a nice day.
Tan was already home when I got back at 11.30, and used her womanly wiseness to work out that I'd had enough beer to probably snore (generally more than three), so assigned me to Xixi's room again. Oh well, little did she know I might just partake in another.
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