Day after wedding and trip to Guilin

As per our English wedding, I'd managed to remain relatively sober during the day and I think Tan appreciated that. I also appreciated the fact that Waipo had taken charge of Leilei yesterday, allowing us to have a more relaxed meal and celebration.

In the morning I managed to sneak out, not really sneakily, but just on my own to have a look around the lovely market town of Bangxu, that I'd first visited nearly two years ago. The only thing that seemed to have changed was that there weren't so many kids following me now.

Ducklings at Bangxu market

Later, when I got back, it appeared to be a good time to take a couple of family pictures as we don't know when the next opportunity will arrive. It's difficult to know how they feel about it here - obviously the wedding meal was a big deal for them, but how much will they miss Tan and Leilei over the next few months/years?

Leilei and Waipo (actually taken on the day of the wedding but so what?)

Ling Ming (Tan's eldest sister's son), A Heng (Tan's second sister's son), me, Chuan Chuan (Tan's second sister's daughter) and Tan

And then we went to Guilin. I suppose it had been planned and I had been told but it must have escaped me. At about 3.15pm Uncle Lu's mian bao che (bread car, as per the shape but effectively a smallish Spacecruiser) turned up. I said goodbye to my eight month old son and explained that we'd be back soon. I think he understood. He's taken quite well to being with family here but I'm not totally happy with leaving him for what will be 4-5 days, but I'm thinking he couldn't be in better hands.

This was our mian bao che, modelled by Nicolas

Nicolas, Lao Ma, Tan, A Ni and A Wu got in with us and we proceeded to drive in the opposite direction from Guilin - to Nanning - in order to get the motorway back north there. Despite lack of sleep and huge fatigue, both Nicolas and I shared that feeling that by somehow keeping awake and keeping your eyes on the road you would give greater visibility to the driver. It was scary at some times and I offered to drive and even Nicolas backed me for that..."pleez let 'im drive!!".

On the way we stopped off to see A Wu's son, A Da at his boarding school. It seems a little early, at 4 years old, to be there but who am I to judge? Actually I'm a very good judge, as all humans are, and I kept my opinions to myself as I knew we were inflicting Leilei to a sort of short-term boarding school with Waipo. We said goodbye to A Da, and on the way back to the car park I noticed some kids in their early teens playing basketball. Of course as a 6'1" white bloke I am considered NBA quality here so they bade me play with them. I think there might have been disappointed had I not had a bit of a laugh with them and got on with the bloke with a Man City top. Pleasant times....

All aboard the pleasure cruise to Nanning

To cut a long drive short the five hour journey seemed much more except for the non-English who managed to sleep most of the way. When we arrived at Guilin the hotel hadn't been booked appropriately and it looked like Tan and I might have to share with A Wu and A Ni but maybe because I was tired I put my foot down and said that even if it cost more I was not going to share the room with my wife (not least because it would be the first without a baby for eight months.

We called Waipo and had a semi-conversation with Leilei, who, despite moaning a bit, seemed glad to hear from us. The first of many. Despite slight pangs of guilt we slept very well.

Wedding Day

It had sort of crept up unnoticed, but today was to be our big day. All the relatives and some friends were invited and when I went for a walk in the village I realised that Bangxu was really geared for our wedding. I think we'd paid about £120 for everything but that included all the cooking of all the meat and veg, and all the drinks for around 100 people. In terms of people it was three times our English equivalent. It was interesting to see the four huge pots cooking the ducks outside where we were to eat them in the non-air-conditioned room in the mid-thirties heat. But it was perfect. I may have been a little hot in my suit (and Tan certainly looked hot in hers, in a different way) but I didn't sweat and I think we made a decent-looking couple.

Cooking the ducks and other stuff for our wedding meal

It's not the done thing to appear to be touchy-feely so no kissing, but we held hands until we got to the bottom of the stone stairs that led aloft to the place we would be eating. There was not too much ceremony except for the traditional leaving of gifts. We'd already said we didn't want red envelopes with money and I think actually most people appreciated that and gave clothes for Leilei. In return, cigarettes were given out to the blokes and sweets to the kids. I don't know what unhealthiness was doled out to the ladies, or perhaps they're too intelligent to take such stuff.

Nicolas, Uncle Lu, Lao Ma, Peng (me), Tan, A Wu, A Da, A Ni, Uncle Yellow before the wedding meal

Tan and I welcoming our family and friends to our wedding meal

Me with one of Tan's uncles who was a very important doctor before his retirement

Once we'd met all the guests on their way upstairs it was time for us to join them. This was time for some nice photoshoots with Tan's family - some of which I may not meet again. By the time we finally got to sit down and eat most people had already finished their meal. But no-one had left. Oh no, now I had to do the walk, the gauntlet. I had to toast every man at every table. I enjoyed the first table, I quite liked the second. By the third I was thinking this was a little bit sexist and the fourth washed by before Tan told me I didn't need to drink the strong alcohol and could drink water or sweetcorn juice instead. Nice timing darling - couldn't you have let me know on the first table? Actually I was secretly ok with this as I'd been holding back on the beers, and I made it through all 12 tables or so without too much inebriation and nearly gave myself a high-five.

Chatting and drinking with the guests as it is customary to do

Our wedding meal in full swing - love this pic

One table before they arrived...

...and after

I think the meal only lasted an hour or less in total and I was actually quite happy to see people taking back what they couldn't eat in plastic bags, rather than wasting it. And suddenly, in the relatively early evening, that was it. Or so I thought.

A Wu, Uncle Yellow and Uncle Lu brought us all back to Waipo's house and proceeded to start a new meal. This, time, though, the only drink was beer, so I knew I wouldn't get drunk. We actually had a very pleasant evening despite the fact that my double-wife gave me some evil-eyes that evening, suggesting that I'd better not get back into our room comatose. As if, darling, as if....

Things started to get a little silly at the second wedding meal...

...but I had someone sensible to keep me on the straight and narrow...(she reckons)

Day out while Waipo looked after Leilei

Having the luxury of a grandparent who was not only willing, but insistent on taking charge of her grandson, Tan and I suddenly found ourselves with a bit of time on our hands. With such a luxury we enjoyed ourselves in the beautiful scenery of Guangxi.

Some well-natured kids around Pingguo

Totem poling as you do, with A Da

Nicolas

Although loving it in Bangxu we went back to Pingguo today as Nicolas, my French friend, had made it from Beijing to Nanning by the railway. He was picked up in Nanning and I met him in Pingguo in the evening and we would head out to Bangxu tomorrow for my Chinese wedding celebration.

Nicolas pouring the tea...

We had a nice evening and Nicolas gave me a lovely wedding present of a Yin and Yang painting he had bought in Beijing at great expense.

Uncle Yellow pouring the tea with Xiao Li and A Da

We all enjoyed the weeing boy...fill him with cold water then pour boiling water on him and he sprays a good few feet away!

Another loverly meal...from left to right: Xiao Li's big brother, Tan, an aunt, A Da, A Ni, Xiao Chong, Uncle Yellow, Xiao Li, Uncle Lu, me, Nicolas...phew

Upper body massage

Today Tan went for a "lady's" massage, which consisted of, among other areas, quite a lot of contact with the top part of her chest. I mean she was "decent" in terms of the towel that covered what should be covered, but the masseuses hands went to places that I would certainly have been very uncomfortable with if she had been a he. It would not be appropriate to put a photo or video here though.

Waipo's first time with Leilei

Today we went to Bangxu to see Waipo. This was a huge deal as it was her first time to see and hold Leilei, and I can’t imagine what it must be like for a grandparent so far apart from their youngest grandchild.

I didn't particularly like the journey; I’d made the 90 minute trip before, in a minibus, and I remembered meeting Tan’s mum for the first time (at least the neighbour, thinking it was her). But this time with a child and no seatbelt on the dangerous windy roads was was even less comfortable.

When we arrived, Waipo grabbed Leilei before we’d even had the chance to say “Ni hao”, and didn't want to let go. Had she miraculously managed to lactate after 35 years or so I dare say Leilei wouldn't have left her side for the foreseeable future, not that much is foreseeable here. As Waipo is into her 70's she may not have been lactating but the mental equivalent was certainly there. Leilei was whipped away in a manner I sort of liked and sort of didn't. But I stuck with the culture and let Waipo take him around and felt very proud. Every baby boy should have a Waipo.

Er Jie with Leilei at Waipo's house in Bangxu. Being treated no differently as if he and I were 100% Chinese

For the first time in ages, well in the nearly eight months of his life, we let Leilei be taken off by Waipo, and we didn't see him for about 45 minutes. I actually had to go looking for him but it wasn't too hard - I just had to find a gang of old women cooing together at the handsome chappie. Throughout the rest of the day we had the rest of the village come round to see this little half-blood. Tan’s second sister, Er Jie, also made a visit. After a long day Tan, Leilei, and I retired to the room we’d stayed in 20 months previously.

Waipo was so proud to hold her grandson. It made me feel so proud too as he means so much to us both.

Well the last couple of days have seen me usurped as the most talked about person in Pingguo by Leilei. He seems to be the talk of the town and I should be jealous and I am really. But in a way it's nice to be a more "normal" resident of this lovely town.

Nice meal with Li Quan pi jiu

One more day in Pingguo and we visited some ladies from Tan’s old bank where Leilei was required for some more photographs. Then we went for one of what will be many sumputuous meals, with Lao Ma, A Ni, A Da, A Wu and uncle Lu, washed down with the marvellous Li Quan weak beer!

Lao Ma, A Ni, Uncle Lu, A Da, A Wu and Tan at another nice meal

"Fancy a beer my dear?" (I wish she said that)

 

Meeting friends and family

Starting to get used to the time zone difference, though it's actually not so hard with an eight-month old with you. Up at an unreasonable hour but after eating some breakfast we went out and Tan met up with one of her best childhood friends Huang Chun. In fact much of the day was understandably spent catching up with friends and family - all interested in our new addition. A couple of photos will suffice....  

Huang Chun and Tan

A Ni, Leilei, Tan, Ling Hong, Lao Ma and an ex-banking colleague of Tan's

Just turning up to buy flights at the airport

We arrived at Guangzhou on time. This alone justified the change in Paris as Guangzhou is only an hour’s flight from Nanning. We hadn’t even bought the Guangzhou-Nanning tickets, opting to buy them from the airport, which we did at a marginally higher cost than it would have been to buy them in advance. So not too long afterwards we landed in Nanning to start our new Guangxi sojourn. I can’t quite remember how we got to Pingguo but I’m pretty sure Xiao Li came to pick us up and take us to his place...

Leilei's first time in China

The last time I got on an aeroplane to go to China for three weeks was nearly exactly two years ago but this time there were two major differences; the last trip got unintentionally elongated to four months, and my fellow passengers Tan and Leilei were the cause and result of that respectively. Unfortunately, this time the trip will not be lengthened due to work constraints. We’d managed to get flights in the morning from City Airport via Paris to Guangzhou. Leilei was small enough to warrant us getting seats at the bulkhead so that we could plug in a mini-cot to the wall in front of us and allow him to sleep while we attempted to do the same. This was a godsend, and it was an added bonus that I had proper leg room at no extra cost. It wasn’t the easiest flight but it could have been a lot worse.

 

Leilei enjoying the flight