Last minute shopping on last day

Well it had to happen - our last day. I was gutted, but didn't have time to be as I still had things to do. I went to the local tea shop and bought a beautiful tea tray thing with a moulded cow on top. It sort of made sense as Tan is a cow. The woman who told me it was 260 kuai wasn't there today, but the boss was, who told me he hadn't slept that night for a reason I didn't understand. And the tea tray I wanted was apparently 350 kuai. Well I didn't want to argue so I bought it along with a couple of other bits and pieces. In its cardboard box it wouldn't fit in my canvas bag so we had to remove it to get it inside. I should really have re-adjusted my hard suitcase to fit the tray inside but I didn't have much time and still had to go to the supermarket for some last-minute purchases.

At my last trip to my supermarket (mine because I have a "VIP" card that I have been using to collect - points? - who knows? - I bought a few packs of sunflower seeds and dried jackfruit to take back. I knew we had enough space as I'd popped into Ma Laoban's computer shop and although he wasn't there at the time his wife was, and lent us their scales so I could measure our luggage. We had a couple of spare kg hence I bought bits and pieces including a chamois cloth from the supermarket. Unnecessary but why not?

Tan had gone out during the morning as unfortunately someone from her home village, Bangxu, had been hit by a vehicle, and she was 6 months pregnant. Luckily, it wasn't too bad, but a bit scary nonetheless. Our flight was at 3pm, so we had arranged to leave at 11am. Before that though I went for a last visit to my juice bar where I had a large watermelon juice for just 3 kuai. I told the woman that most other places in Pingguo sold an inferior product for 4 or 5 kuai but she didn't seem to register that I was trying to tell her to up her prices. I told her she should charge more but didn't labour the point. I also gave her and her daughter a little present of some French biscuits and a box of tea bags similar to what I gave to the tea boss yesterday. She seemed really appreciative of that, but perhaps not as much as I have been over the last month or so of her wares.

Well, I got a call from Tan as I was saying my goodbyes to the juice bar woman and her daughter, so I bid a final farewell, and drove home for the last time, where I met some friends waiting to take us to Nanning. A Zheng had a decent sized van that held 8 people plus lots of luggage, and A Wu also brought his aging Zefiro. It was yet another quick goodbye, something very, very un-Western. There are no long goodbyes here, but I did hug the ladies, including Waipo and Erjie. They didn't recoil as they may have done a few years ago, but they didn't seem as sad as I felt. It is a really different thing saying goodbye here.

I went in the van with A Zheng and Lin Hong, while the kids went with A Wu. We got to Nanning airport around 12.30pm and checked in our luggage (with a "Fragile" sticker on the bag with my tea tray). I suggested we all go for a final meal outside the airport as inside was expensive and not really authentic. Tan disagreed but the others didn't, and as we had a couple of hours we got in the vehicles to drive 5 mins to a place I think we went to a couple of years ago. There were a couple of police vehicles there, and we saw them finishing their meal. We ordered some chicken, fish and tofu. I realised this was my last proper Chinese meal for a long time, so went out to watch them cook it. There were chickens all around the place, and I imagined they'd just grabbed one around the neck with their hands to make our soup. So nice and fresh. I really enjoyed the meal and had my last Li Quan beer for some time too. I was very glad we made the decision to have this meal outside the airport.

And then we'd finished and it was time to go back to the airport. This scenario we'd been through many times before but it doesn't get easier for me. As we went through security we waved our friends and family a last goodbye. I don't think Xixi really understood what she was leaving. Well, it was a standard flight to Shenzhen, and for the first time this year we did not have to stay a night before the flight back to London. While we were waiting for the shuttle bus to the ferry terminal to take us to Hong Kong airport, Tan noticed that there was a bunch of triads around us, who were apparently waiting for someone to turn up at the airport and beat him up. She gathered this from their phone calls apparently. If they were triads they were pretty obvious as they all wore black and looked quite mean. I was quite looking forward to what might happen, but Tan wasn't, and to her relief our bus turned up and we took our last little trip in real China this year.

It is quite convenient taking the boat from Shenzhen to HK airport. You can whip through customs in two minutes flat, and when you get to the airport there's no more customs stuff except for picking up your luggage and checking it in with the airline. Which we did when we arrived there at 7.30pm. Then we had nearly four hours to wait till our plane. We had an unsatisfactory "Japanese" meal at the airport for 25 quid and realised with a bump we were no longer in China. When we finally got on the plane it was the one coming from Sydney to London so mostly filled with fat, pasty ex-pats, the likes of whom I hadn't seen for so long it made me feel quite uncomfortable. I can't complain about the kids. They slept for a decent amount of time. But despite my tiredness I only managed a couple of hours before the end of the flight. We arrived ahead of schedule, to the chagrin of those who live close to the runway, at 5am. But our Chinese friend was waiting for us with his car when we got out. And that was it. A wonderful wonderful two months back at home in Pingguo had most definitely come to an end, and I was due to work in three hours. No regrets though, no regrets whatsoever. Wo ai Pingguo!

Anticlimatic last full day and leaving clothes

Our last full day in Pingguo was rather anticlimatic. That's not a bad thing in a way; it means we won't be here after tomorrow but we'll be back some time later and things will follow on as they always have. It was just a normal day - Xixi going out with Waipo and Jiuma, and Leilei seeing his friends and going to buy some toys. I spent no more than 20 minutes putting some stuff in suitcases but there wasn't much to pack. It was more a case of deciding what to leave here. In the end I left at least half of the clothes I brought here. Together with clothes I have left over the last few years I probably have as big a wardrobe here as I do in England. It just means the photos will often look the same - I'm sure I have shirts here I wore five years ago here.

I did make a point of going to the tea boss with whom I spent some time yesterday, and gave him a pack of French biscuits and a pack of lemon and ginger tea bags. I was glad to see that he opened both and his friends enjoyed both.

Dian dong che breakdown and last supper 2010

With our impending return in my mind I decided not to be annoyed at waking up after four hours' sleep. I did the breakfast run and then went to get a melon juice from my local woman's shop just across the road. I've been coming to her for the last month or so, nearly on a daily basis. I have a bit of a banter with her two-year-old daughter, then normally pop next door to the tea shop for a chat with whoever is there at the time while waiting for my juice. Today I was quite interested in the tea service things that sit on tables. There were a couple of really nice ones and the girl today said they were around 260 kuai each. I said I would probably come back and get one. Then I popped back to pick up my honeymelon juice, which was just beautiful.

At midday I took Leilei to A Hua's shop where Tan and the ladies were mulching the hours away chatting as you do. It so happened there was some food so I left him there while I went 50 yards down the road to the tea shop I have known well for two or three years. I really like this place and I feel comfortable here, although have not spent enough time here this year. But the boss knows me pretty well so we enjoyed a few glasses of Tie Guan Yin tea until Leilei had finished his lunch and came to join us. There were a couple of woman around the tea table, and they appreciated Leilei's company, despite him hardly talking to them, and they asked me to bring Xixi too. So I said I'd have a look for her, and dropped off Leilei to play with Qiqi at home. The two of them then went off to "Yi Xiao", which is Leilei's favourite place, being a cheap toyshop not far from Jiuma's place.

I took the electric bike down to where Xixi normally is, but there were just a couple of aunties there telling me she'd gone out with Jiuma but was around "somewhere". Well, I wasn't worried; here is the safest place I've ever been to with the kids. So, in the baking sun I took the bike out once more to have a look around. As it was near the end of our stay this year I took a little film of the journey, where I did in fact bump into Xixi (not literally).


A Short Ride in Pingguo Where I met Xixi Quite by Chance

I prised her from Jiuma and some other woman. Actually, as soon as she saw me she jumped onto the bike, so I told them we'd be out for 20 minutes or so, and we went on our way towards the tea place again. Well, we got most of the way but after five minutes I simply lost power on the bike. There was nothing obviously wrong, except the speedometer went up to the max 60kph for the only time in its life, but we limped to a stop at the crossroads. So we walked it to the pavement and parked it with some other bikes and walked to the tea shop, by which time there were no women left, only a couple of blokes, so we had a couple of cups of tea before leaving back to Jiuma's place.

Once there I felt rather naked without the electric bike. I realised I'd been counting on it like I would my boxer shorts. So I thought I'd better give A Wu a ring to tell him. It took a bit of time but we eventually sorted out that the bike was broken, and roughly where it was, and I met him there a few minutes later. We then drove to the place that sold electric bikes, where we found in a backstreet behind, surprise surprise, a place that fixed them. I described the problem, and they followed A Wu and me in the car on their bike, with a tow rope. It transpired that they did indeed need this to take it back to the garage. We exchanged phone numbers and I walked back to our place under the afternoon sun, simply as I knew I wouldn't have this chance for some time.


Enjoying a cup of tea at my favourite place in Pingguo

And, not an hour later I received a call from the garage place to say the bike had been fixed. Great! I got on a san lun che and even paid the driver 3 kuai instead of 2 when we arrived five minutes later. I asked what was wrong with the electric bike and they explained that it was something "electrical" (no shit, Sherlock), but did show me the piece that had blown and been replaced. I'd brought 500 kuai with me as I had no idea how much it might have been for the diagnostics, the tow back to the garage, and the fix. The bloke only wanted 5 kuai. 50p! I even tried to tip him by giving him 10 kuai and not wanting change but they forced the 5 kuai change upon me. Something that is so typical here.

Roll on the evening, and I popped into A Wu's office to tell him the good news about the electric bike. He had just taken delivery of two jade stones set in plynths a bit like statues. Apparently one was worth 30,000 kuai. Well, he was pretty proud, and wanted to take a couple of photos. I then told him that I wanted to invite my mates out, as is my custom, before I was to leave Pingguo again, and said we planned to go to the seafood place, but first go to our new place for some tea.


Looking serious at A Wu's office with the new jade on the left hand side

A Wu said he'd come for the meal as he'd already seen the house, so I went to prepare stuff there with Leilei at around 6.30. I'd invited our American friend and his youngest daughter, as his wife was out of town with their eldest two, plus Ma Laoban, who is a bit of a tea connoisseur as he doesn't drink. They arrived at the same time, and we enjoyed an hour or so chatting about computers, as Ma Laoban's shop sells them and our American friend uses them, and other stuff. We wrapped up the tea drinking by 7.30pm and I took the American daughter with Leilei on the electric bike, and Ma Laoban took the dad on his motorbike to the seafood place.

A Wu turned up, followed by Li Kun and some other mates, and soon there were ten or so of us around the table. For weeks the seafood boss and his wife had been asking me to take the kids there, and although Leilei was there having fun with the American, Xixi was at home. So I popped back and took her back to the meal, much to the delight of all at the table (and indeed all tables around). She and Leilei and the American daughter got on really well. So much so that the dad and I, and everyone else left them to get on by themselves as we gourged on prawns and langoustines and other stuff I don't even know how to say in English.

It was only half an hour later when we realised we hadn't heard much from our kids, so we set out on separate paths to find them. It took a few minutes but we needn't have worried, as I eventually found them running around near the guangchang. As it was nearly 9pm I took Xixi back and easily to sleep, and then Leilei half an hour later when the Americans left for the night. Despite my fatigue, we lasted till getting on till midnight before I rang Hongping to see if he was around. Indeed he was at a table just a few feet away, so Lu Hai and I moved on to have a couple of beers with him, till we finally left some time not long after 1am.


A very enjoyable night with friends at the seafood place

Cars and a lovely chat with friends over tea at the fang zi

Since cars were introduced to China in 2003 I have witnessed a large growth in this phenomenum. When I first lived in Shanghai in October 2003 till February 2004 I noticed that most cars seemed to be Volkswagon Passat saloons (or at least looked like them), and were cabs. There were other cars, but mostly not recognisable to the Western eye. More so, in Guangxi I hardly recognised a single four-wheeler, except for a tiny minority of Japanese 4X4 (not least because A Zheng drove such a car for the leader of Pingguo).

Every year the variation of cars in Pingguo has become richer and richer. Brand is the main thing, and there are now a few BMWs and Mercs around. But I am more interested in the less "boss" type cars, and more non-showy-but-pricey cars. I first saw a Beetle (new shape) here two years ago, and it is still going strong. But this year for the first time I have seen a Mini Cooper and a Mini Clubman. Not to mention a few very recent Peugeot 207s and 307s. Even a couple of new Renaults. What I would love to know is where the owners get them serviced. To my knowledge there are no branded garages in Pingguo, so how do they get the parts, and the knowledge to fix the engines that rely on electronic diagnostics? Knowing the Chinese, they probably have it all sorted and in fact you do not need to go to an "authorised" dealer to have an expensive service. But it still makes me wonder... And today I saw a beautiful late-model Jag roll by our house...complete with the leaping cat coming out of the bonnet - not like the European variants that have the "health and safety" badge instead of the cat.

Anyway, for days I'd been telling the sensible boss (Hancheng) of the seafood place about our new abode, and how I'd invite him for tea one day. He told me the only good time would be around midday as he slept from 3am till 8am, then went and bought veggies for work in the morning, then had another sleep till the late afternoon before the long work hours. I hadn't realised he was married, or had a son, until I invited him to pop around for some tea that morning. It transpired he couldn't make it till 1pm, but at that time he arrived with his 9 year old son and his lovely wife. His wife had brought a number of presents that she really oughtn't have done, like a pack of expensive dried mushrooms, some dried gingery things that looked delicious, along with some beautiful Vietnamese biscuits and a couple of packs of mostly-dried fruit.

We spent the next hour drinking tea and chatting. It was very nice to be with my own friends, whom I'd not known for long, but just getting along very swimmingly. Good for the confidence in the language. Not perfect as at times I had to ask Hancheng what his wife was saying, but generally the conversation flowed without Tan to help me out. It is this sort of situation that I really like as I can't fall back on anyone and just have be like any normal friend. I learnt that the Tie Guan Yin tea I was serving was if anything likely to stop you sleeping - something that others had said was not true. I was well and truly shattered by the time we left our place at 2pm and maybe because I now knew that the tea could keep you awake got a very very small siesta before 6pm.

But after a quick bite to eat I drove down to the most hustly-bustly part of Pingguo to buy two wicker stools I'd had my sites on from a couple of days ago. They wanted 50 kuai each so I offered them 80 kuai for both (they weren't brand new) and was accepted without a bat of the eye. Damn, I probably could have got them both for 50 but sod it. Surprisingly, they were both larger than the two identically styled stools we already had. But in fact this was a good thing as for anyone with a slighty-larger-than-normal-arse the smaller ones would be quite uncomfortable. Ok, even I preferred the bigger ones, so it was nice to have a couple to give to the kids.

I really wanted to stay up to watch Man City start their European trek in style. I actually managed to watch the first half till 4am but then flaked it and only just managed to turn the laptop off before I did myself.

Birthday meal and lack of body clock but first night in new fang zi

Despite falling asleep at 11pm I was up at 3am. My body clock is seriously fucked up. So after trying unsuccessfully to get back to sleep I turned on the laptop and watched the last two minutes of the first half of Young Boys vs. Spurs. It was 3-0 and was the only gratifying thing at that time as I wanted Spurs to fall out of the Champions League and into the Europa League so they could meet City and we could get revenge. No such chance as they scored two in the second half to lose 3-2 and have two away goals to take to White Hart Lane. Favourites in my book.

I blundered through the morning and then couldn't even get to sleep in the afternoon. Tan's birthday was back on the 13th but we didn't do anything as she was in Nanning. So, today she called me up about 3ish and said that she'd invite our friends out for a meal tonight to celebrate. I sorely wanted to get some sleep but also had to sort out some more housy things like getting the accoutrements for the tea table as I was expecting visitors to want to drink tea with me later on.

The birthday meal was at 6.30pm, and we took up three tables in our private room - even Waipo and Jiuma came, something quite rare to see them eating out in such decadent surroundings. However I was just too tired to enjoy the evening properly. I drank about five glasses of sugar Coke in an attempt to stay more awake and add something to the night, but was quite frankly glad when it came to an end around 8pm. But part of the celebration was for our new fang zi, so most of the women and some of the men traipsed back to our new abode for fruit and tea. I quite happily made my first appearance as tea host, and made some "tie guan yin" tea for the blokes at my "running dog" tea table.


Pouring tea for Lao Pan's husband Lao Lan and their son on Running Dog

Later, when everyone had gone, I thought I'd at least sleep one night in our new place. That wouldn't have been a bad idea had I told Tan. As it was I'd just dropped off when I got a call from her at 1.45am (why did I forget to put phone on "silent"?) asking where I was. She understood ok, so I was just dropping off again when Awl IM'd me (I should have closed Skype on my phone) in a vodka stupor at 2am and I had to tell him I couldn't chat at that time. Finally must have got to sleep some time after 2am. But at least in our own place.

Guitar, piano, and finally an early night

Sleep at 5am, up at 8am. Aargh. I just wanted to stay awake till lunch again so I could have a siesta and some sanity for the afternoon, so I popped out on the bike to spend a little time in our new apartment before we have to leave it for who knows how long? I don't like calling it an apartment - it sounds rather American, not that I have anything against them. I remembered back in June when we went for a bbq with our American friends and I enquired about international schools in Nanning for the kids, and they said there was one at least. I had asked about the kids that went there, explaining that I was concerned that if my kids were ever to go to such a school they would end up talking with an American accent. Thankfully the Americans took no offence at my faux pas, and then explained that most of the kids there were South Korean anyway. Interesting. But anyway, I dislike "flat" even more than apartment as it makes it sounds dark and even chavvy (the England flag has long been removed). But "house" seems a little wrong as it does not stand on its own. It's a bit of a quandary, but a very nice one to have, all things considered.

Now it had just started raining before I left. So I made the intelligent decision to take a brolly with me. Unfortunately it didn't attach to the bike as so many do here, so I had to hold it. This worked ok for about 10 seconds until I was out of the apartment complex and within the blink of an eyelid it decided to deluge. So much so that the streets were nearly deserted. Ha! Funny how water can make something deserted (desert - geddit? - ok I don't write wedding speeches). Anyway, being British, or maybe simply stupid, I decided against turning back and only being half soaked, and headed on towards our place. Predicatably, despite the umbrella, I arrived soaked to the bone as I had been attacked by raindrops the size of pigs eyeballs from every angle.

So I got to the apartment/flat/house - actually I think I'll just call it "fang zi" as they do in Mandarin - and found my guitar. My lovely, if rather small and not fantastic quality, guitar. Maybe it was to do with having been on the 14th floor but it was dreadfully out of tune, something slightly weird as it had held its tune since last year when I found it back in June. I used the only way I know of tuning up a guitar by ear alone and hummed the first note of "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin, and got the 'A' string more-or-less correct, if an octave lower. Then I did the low 'E', then the 'D', the 'G', the 'B' and finally the "ping!". Damn, the little 'E' string had snapped and I couldn't even sing the blues.

I looked around, and saw that as well as no guitar I had no television, no computer, nothing to power with the electricity that actually worked. I should have been happy in my element but I really hankered after playing the guitar. I noticed that the rain had eased off, and even my shirt, hanging out on the balcony, had somewhat dried. So I went back down the lift to the music shop where I'd purchased the guitar two years ago to get some strings. I recognised the girl there and I guessed she recognised me. For some reason she thinks I'm slightly loopy. At least that's the look in her eyes she gives me when she talks to me. But I managed to request the strings, and the fact that it was an acoustic and not an electric guitar. She went to get what I needed and I found one of the tiny piano rooms in the place. It had been months since I'd tickled the ivories so I sat down and bashed out a rather rusty "The Entertainer". The piano was somewhat out of tune, but I'm sure my fingers tortured Joplin's ghost* more than that, and then possibly laid it down to rest with a rendition of "Maple Leaf Rag". I don't know if the shop assistant appreciated it or not, but she came in and turned on the light to the room during "Maple Leaf Rag" - maybe she thought I couldn't see the keys - how embarrassing!

* I ripped that from John Fowles's "The French Lieutenant's Woman", which I had to study for English Lit. A level.

Before going back to the fang zi, I went to have a look for a couple more stools to complement the two we already have there. Ma Laoban said I should order them from Nanning, but I didn't have time, and eventually found a couple of second hand ones in a second hand furniture shop. They also had tables and desks there and I made some measurements as I'll need one for my study. I said I'd pop back in the afternoon and rang Boss Yang to see if he and his pregnant wife and his son could meet me for lunch. He said they'd be there in 15 minutes, so Leilei and I went to the place that just opened up last month where they do a very good chilli frog hotpot. It was a nice meal, although Leilei only ate zhou, and Boss Yang's son gave Leilei a model kit of something that looked like a transformer but had about 200 pieces - slightly too much for his years at the moment. Although Leilei was painfully shy at first, by the end of the meal he was inviting Yang's son back to our house to play. Before that, though, we all went to see our new fang zi, and they were all impressed.


Leilei and Boss Yang's son

Anyway I did manage a bit of a siesta. I don't know why these last few days have been so hard - it's as bad as I can remember since having babies waking you up at all hours - someone here said it was my body getting back into UK time. Well, whether that was true or not, Li Kun woke me up at 4ish to invite me to have a drink that evening. Of course I said yes. But first I went for a meal with Er Jie and a few other people I didn't know. I actually drank Cocacola with sugar for the first time in years in an effort to wake up and enjoy the beef rib hotpot. Then Li Kun came to pick me up. He is pretty sensible in that although he has use of a van, he came in a san lun che as we were going for a few beers, and wouldn't drink and drive. Good man.

We decided on a bar called "1951". It was one of the very few actual bars I've been to in Pingguo, and was resplendent in US-style decor, complete with a central bar containing a number of bottles of Western spirits, the likes of most I hadn't seen in Pingguo before. Although I fancied sitting at the bar, Li Kun was insistent that we have our own table, and went on to explain that when you invite a friend out it is customary to have your own space and not share with strangers. I explained that that was part of the fun in UK pubs (at least if you're single), and we both shared a laugh about our different "wen hua" (culture). We had a bucket of small bottles of Li Quan Qi du, meaning the 3% beer, and a portion of fries with ketchup and slices of cucumber and carrot with a soy sauce and wasabi dip, plus a portion of crab legs too! It seems you never go out just for a drink here! Another of his friends turned up an hour of so later, and I recognised him from a couple of years ago. We chatted till gone 10pm but Li Kun could see that I was flagging, so he kindly said he could see that and he'd take me home no problem. We got a san lun che back to Er Jie's place, where I got out and he went back to finish the beers with his mate. A nice, if exhausting day came to an end five minutes later when I crashed out on the bed at 11pm

A/C in the house and the value of time

Up at 5am after two and a half hours' sleep - yet again couldn't get back to sleep so I got up. The routine of getting breakfast for all came and went, and Xixi went to Jiuma's place as per usual. I was just waiting till midday so I could have some lunch and get a siesta, so at around 10.30am I gave Lin Hong a ring as I had decided to buy the standalone air-conditioning unit for our bedroom in the new flat, even if the only one available was the display model we saw on Saturday. Tan was due to come home in the afternoon and I wanted her to be comfortable in at least one room if she fancied a snooze. However, Lin Hong was busy in a meeting, and said she'd call back at 11.30am. I had hoped not to hear that as I was looking forward to a nap soon after, but it was kind of her to say she would help. She actually called soon after midday, and came to pick me up a minute later. We drove to ai yi's electric shop again and this time the actual ai yi in question was there. She told me in no uncertain terms that the air coolers would not be sufficient for our bedrooms. I explained that the rooms were small but she wasn't having any of it. Finally we agreed that she would come to see our place. So much for a midday nap.

Lin Hong drove ai yi and me to the new flat, and ai yi was suitably impressed by it. Only after seeing the rooms did she agree that we didn't need fully-fledged A/C for every one. But I did agree that a wall-mounted unit would be handy for the main bedroom, and we were told we could have one fitted for 1600 kuai. I thought "why not?", and was told to wait in the house for half an hour for some workers to come and sort it out. I wanted to first get some something to read while waiting so popped back to Er Jie's house, as I'd been told the workers would first ring me so they would know I was there to let them in. When I got back 20 minutes later I found I'd forgotten the key, I had a load of stuff I'd brought from Er Jie's house, and I didn't fancy lugging it back, not that there was anyone home anyway to let me in. So I rang Lin Hong to ask if she could come round and she said she'd be there in a couple of minutes. Two minutes later two workmen arrived with an A/C unit. I asked which floor they were going to and they said the 14th - so much for calling me first. I explained that I was waiting for someone with the key to open the door and they said not to worry and went upstairs. I called Lin Hong again who said she was about to arrive, something that didn't happen for another 15 minutes. Not that the workmen seemed to mind though.

Time does not seem to equate to money here. It really is cheap labour. This is something that permeates the culture and has taken me some time to get used to. People just expect that you have time on your hands. I think it may even have something to do with the frequent miscommunication I see (among Chinese as well, not just with me); it appears that even if what you are told is wrong, then it's just wrong and you find out what is correct a bit later. A simple example of this would be if you asked where a certain shop was and were told it was "down that road for one minute on the left", but you found out later it was the opposite direction for five minutes. You would have lost a few minutes of your time, which here may not be as much perceived value as it would be in the West.

Anyway, while I was waiting in the car park for Lin Hong I got a phone call from her saying she was in the flat. Somehow our paths must have crossed and I missed her. So I got to the flat to find the two workmen unwrapping the A/C unit and its accompanying fan housing. It took no more than an hour from start to finish, during which time one of the blokes climbed out from our 14th floor balcony and hopped onto some supporting structure to start drilling holes for the fan structure. He was not insane, though, and had a rope around his waist that was firmly secured to the balcony bars. Still, he did not obey the "don't look down" law, though it didn't seem to affect him. By around 3pm the job was done and all I had to do was sign my name "Peng Duoming" and serve them some glasses of water before saying thank you and goodbye.


I said "don't look down!"

I was about to have some shut-eye under the cool of the A/C, but got a call from Tan, who had got back from Nanning and was outside the front door with Leilei; apparently I had not heard them knocking. I was shattered by this stage so went back to Er Jie's house to get a well-earned siesta. I had planned to go out in the evening with Tan to get a fridge but by the time I got up it was a little late. We will no doubt have arguments as to where it is best placed. I still say in between the xie gui and the water dispenser, she will probably say in the kitchen even though there isn't much room. As I'd had a late siesta I popped out to the seafood place for a bite to eat after midnight, and when still couldn't get to sleep later I watched some of the Man U - Newcastle game that kicked off at 3am.

Broken sleep and broken English with teacher

Up at 4.30am again after three hours' sleep. I tried to get back to sleep but to no avail. So I browsed around on fark.com to read some interesting online articles and comments on them before getting some breakfast at 8am. I started to feel really sick after eating one of yesterday's "you tiao", the long fried dough things you dip in soya bean milk. So I tried to get some sleep but today was a particularly noisy one in the house with upstairs doing lots of drilling a few feet from my head. I gave up at 11.30 and drove to our new house. The problem was it was nearly as noisy there too as most other places there are still doing the "zhuang xiu" (decorating), whereas we have pretty much finished. Our new curtains shut out most of the light, but by closing the door too it shut out most of the moving air through the room. The cheap fan I bought the other day made it a bit more bearable but it wasn't air conditioning. Despite the noise and humidity I managed a small amount of sleep in between going to the toilet, but gave up at 4.30pm and came back to Er Jie's place with the A/C. It was still noisy but I managed to sleep most of the time between 5-8pm until A Wu called to ask me to go out and eat.

As I hadn't spent much time with them today, I took the kids out too, who were then immediately taken out to see A Da by A Ni. I really didn't fancy a beer but managed a couple of sips with some friends and had a slightly English chat with one of their wives, who is an English teacher at the local middle school. Funnily enough she didn't want her 6 year old to learn English yet as she wanted him to concentrate on Chinese. I think she may have changed her mind when she saw my two rattling on in Chinese with each other.

Xixi wants to stay and first match of the season

I really hoped it would say 7am on my phone, but it read 4.23am instead. I couldn't get back to sleep after that, so just did some surfing on the internet till 8am when I went and got some breakfast. I woke up Xixi and we played about for a while before she was taken off by Waipo to play. Then Leilei and I went out to do some more house shopping. We went to the marketplace and bought some bits and pieces at a hardware shop before depositing them in the house. I noticed that the curtains had been put in in our bedroom and they're not bad at all, and don't let in much light, which is rare for here. I then took the son down to Jiuma's place where we found Xixi playing with all her friends. Apparently Jiuma had asked Xixi if she liked China and she said "dui!", and whether she wanted to go back to England and she said "bu yao!". Oh dear...

As Lin Hong was there I asked her where was a good place to buy a fridge and within a minute I was whisked off in her car to an aunty's shop near the guang chang, leaving the kids there. It dawned on me when we were there that we didn't really have a good place for a fridge. The kitchen is pretty tiny, and there's not even enough working space to put one on the side, so it looks like it will have to be in the main living area. I decided I'd need to do some measuring so we didn't get a fridge, but we did get a cheap water dispenser for 180 kuai and a set of knives in a wooden block. I really wanted to get a water filter, rather than the style that you have to keep ringing someone up to get a new bottle delivered every couple of days. I pointed to such a filter and explained that I wanted this style so that we could fill it up with tap water when we needed. Lin Hong nodded, but when we got to the house of course it was one where you just plonk an upside down large water bottle on top. Oh well, no big deal, and I suppose if we'd started to use a filter in our last week here it would probably need to be changed come next year. And at least we already had such a water bottle in the house so now we have drinking water. As the water dispenser needs to be plugged in if you want hot water, we've had to put it next to the xie gui where there is an electric point. Judging by the size of the kitchen, I'm thinking that this will probably be the best place for a small fridge too.

We got back to Jiuma's place at 1ish, where there were about eight adults all cutting up pig fat into small cubes for something or other - maybe that is the business they do here. I had some noodles thrust upon me as others were eating and thought why not? So I had my lunch there before heading back for a much needed siesta. I slept most of the time from 3.30-6pm and then still couldn't wake up, so grabbed another hour as the kids went out to the swimming pool.

Of course today was the first day of the footy season, and the first game was Spurs-City. Apparently the game was on Guangdong TV, but I couldn't find it, and as Waipo was in the house and wanted to watch tv too, I settled for finding a decent stream. Wow, what a hero Joe Hart was for the first half! We fully deserved to be 3 down, but we somehow salvaged a 0-0 draw. People are going to expect a lot more than that this season, but it least it looks like England's future goalkeeper may have been decided.

Lu Hai called me to go for some seafood at 10pm, but I wasn't really in the mood. However, I went as we don't have much longer here and I don't want to waste time. I spent no more than an hour before deciding it was bedtime for Leilei, something that even he didn't struggle with after a long day with no sleep.

Dog paws

Tan and the girls went to Nanning in the afternoon, after having visited A Ni's mum, who's in hospital with a lung infection unfortunately.

Er Jie and her husband and Qiqi have been back for a couple of days, and she told me we were going to eat at the place around the corner. Great, I was quite hungry, so we went to the restaurant that opened two months ago and she ordered a huge hotpot for us (including the kids, a neighbour and Jiuma and Waipo). Before it was even served I got a call from A Wu asking me to come over to his friend's house for a meal. I told him I was just about to start a meal, so he said I could come over in an hour. I said I'd ring him. The cow ribs were very tasty and I was quite stuffed.

We got home an hour later and I remembered I needed to buy plane tickets for next week boohoo, so went to the Ctrip website. Conveniently they have a skype button, which means you can make a free call. Even more conveniently, I didn't have to wait any time in a queue. I ordered plane tickets from Nanning to Shenzhen at 3.10pm. That should give us enough time to make it to Hong Kong for the 11.30pm flight back to UK. I did enquire about direct flights to HK, but there were only two seats left and they were three times the price anyway. During this time I got calls from A Wu asking where I was, and I explained I had to finish buying the tickets first, so eventually got to his friend's place around 7.30pm.

In fact there were two "tong xue" (colleagues - from primary school), and they were having a sumptious meal that I just couldn't take part in. However it was nice company, and it was all I could do to do a couple of gan beis. The main speciality they had was dog paws. A Wu made the ingenious statement that they were special because you only get four per dog. I couldn't let them down so I took the smallest one, and started knawing at it. It's not that much different from a really large duck foot, except for the shape and you get more padding. They took delight in seeing me eat it so put another one in my bowl straight away, this time taking photos of me. I made my excuses to get up and play with the host's 6 month old baby girl. She was delightful, and managed a smile or two. So light as well, and no nappy of course. Finally left, bloated, at around 9pm.


Another delicacy - dog paws

Leilei had been up all day and I made the mistake of calling Tan so he could have a word with her at 11pm. As she put the phone down he started wailing for mama, and wouldn't stop for half an hour by which time he'd cried himself to sleep.

Zhang Hongping meal

I got up early for some reason, so not wishing to waste the day I went out and got some breakfast for the family. Nearly everything was eaten up so I must have got the right stuff. By 10am Leilei was ready to be taken to Nong Kaicheng's house to play. Xixi naturally came too, but when we got there we were accosted by the woman whose daughter runs the medicine shop near A Hua's shop, who is mad about foreigners. She was asking why we never came to visit (she sometimes calls me in the morning to ask us to come around) but I said we'd been busy, and now had to go to the house to sort stuff out. Actually that was true, sort of, so Xixi and I made our excuses and drove to pick up some Longyan fruit. On the way out of the market I heard the wistful strains of "You mei you ren cen gao su ni", the sad pop song that has been quite popular for a year or two. I noticed that it was being sung by a one legged man with a wireless microphone, who was hopping along with a piece of string around his waste attached to a speaker on wheels that he was dragging with him. We drove on by but a few seconds later I was hit by a poignant stab of sorrow and remorse, realising how lucky we were, and how hard his life probably was. We made a U-turn and drove back into the market area and I deposited 10 kuai in the basket on his speaker. He looked genuinely thankful and said "Xie xie" many times on the microphone. Maybe because of me or maybe not at all, as I thanked him for his singing (he did have a lovely voice), I noticed a couple of other people coming out of the marketplace to put in a kuai or two. It lifted my heart a little bit.

I was finding it difficult to get a siesta, despite being shattered, as the kids didn't need one. I finally nodded off at around 3pm and got a call from Zhang Hongping half an hour later. This is one of the Bangxu blokes I know from going to eat at the seafood place regularly. He was inviting me and the family to go out for a meal that evening. I said I wasn't sure but that I'd get back to him at 5pm to confirm. He rang up an hour later to tell me the room number.

As Tan was around at 5.30pm I asked if she wanted to come. To my surprise she said she did; she knew of Zhang Hongping but had not met him in person - apparently he was working in the Bank of China while she was working in the Agricultural Bank of China. The kids were out having fun, so we let them be and got a san lun che to the restaurant by the new residential place just outside town on the road to Nanning. It is a very good restaurant, and we sat at a huge table, with the middle revolvable section seemingly so frictionless that it never stopped turning! I was a bit worried that the beer was poured into huge bowls, and then poured into glasses from a large ladle - normally this is what the men do when playing drinking games, but I wasn't really in the mood not having had much sleep. Some more people turned up, one bloke with a posh bottle of white alcohol. I never normally touch the stuff but I didn't want him to feel bad so I allowed half an inch to be poured into my glass. Just opening the bottle I could taste the stench of the stuff. The blokes laughed as I held my nose as I drank it, and was more than happy to move on to beer.


Fancy meal with Zhang Hongping, he is on my left

Tan left a little early with a couple of the wives and a son, while I stayed till around 9pm. I explained that I was tired and needed to sleep, and I didn't have too much pressure to finish all the beer, though I did have to play a few rounds of cai ma. I said I'd go for a doze, and Zhang Hongping told me to call him when I woke up to go for another bite to eat. Actually I didn't sleep that early, but had no intention of going out further that evening. However, as Leilei was busy playing and Xixi was already asleep I sneaked out for a swift head wash at a local place. The boss was waiting outside the front door and invited me in, so what could I do? And they only charged 10 kuai for it!

Well now I really was ready for bed but Tan received a phone call from her friend A Xia, who had a nasty temperature and a skin reaction to something; I popped out at midnight to bring her some paracetamol we'd brought from the UK.

Flat furnished and meal with Ma Laoban's family

I tried to sleep, but Tan suddenly told me I needed to get up and carry A Heng downstairs so he could go to the hospital as he couldn't move due to a poorly tummy. I was a bit dazed but quickly put on some clothes and went to the living room to find no-one there. "He's already gone downstairs", I was told. Typical. Anyway, the electricity came back at 7.47am, a time well noted as the air con clicked back into life. I was already awake anyway, so I played with the kids for a bit before taking them to the new house. We now have a wardrobe in our bedroom. The kids weren't quite as interested in the house as I was so I took them down to Jiuma's place near the centre of town. However, as it was not long after 9am there weren't many people around to play with, and Jiuma was at hospital with her son A Heng. So after a few minutes we decided to head home. Leilei was whining about wanting to play with Nong Kaicheng, so I said if he asked nicely we could go and have a look if he was home. He did, so we went and he was so I dropped off a happy son with a happy friend. Then I heard "Xixi!!", and I noticed it was Boss Yang's pretty little sister calling from a dance school across the way. She wanted Xixi to join in but Xixi was having none of it. I didn't have the energy to force her to and forcing is not a good way anyway so we just went home instead.


Our large wardrobe, sitting where I said it would be at the foot of our bed


The kids not appreciating what a tea table should be for

There we met Jiuma and I asked her about A Heng - she said that he was fine which was a bit of a relief. Waipo was also there, but the both of them took Xixi out a few minutes later. Tan was asleep, so I had a little time to myself. I was sorely tempted to catch up on some shut-eye but was determined to wait until I'd at least had some lunch. At midday I decided to search out the family I ate with the other week, when they had seen me driving past and invited me in to eat out of the blue. I found a box of wine gums, and a box of peppermint tea I'd brought from the UK and put them in my bag as gifts. The problem was I couldn't remember where they lived. And today was just about the hottest day so far, proper sunblasting blistering heat, with not so much humidity. I realised my forearms were burning so I stopped every minute or so under a tree for protection. I bought a bottle of water at a small shop and was asked if I wanted two. I then found I'd given the woman 3 kuai instead of 2 for a 1.5 kuai bottle. I said I only wanted one and she gave me my extra kuai plus 5 mao change. I never ever feel ripped off here - it's just not in the culture. One of the reasons I feel very comfortable here.

It took the best part of an hour but I eventually happened upon the place I'd eaten at before, but there were only a handful of people in. They did remember me and asked if I wanted to finish the remnants of their lunch. I daresay if I'd not got lost I'd have been there in time for the whole thing. Well, I gave the father the box of wine gums and tea and he put them on the table. The Chinese, at least in this area, have what at first seems like a strange way of receiving gifts. Or more of a non-way. They don't burst out in smiles and say "wow! how nice!", they take them in a very run-of-the-mill way, that could easily be construed by foreigners as ingratitude. It's not that, and they are really appreciative, but I haven't fathomed out exactly how (if that is fathomable). Even the kids didn't look too excited about the sweets, although they opened the box of tea. I knew, though, that the gesture was appreciated, and I left by saying when I had time I'd bring the kids down for tea one evening - only mad dogs and Englishmen, it seems, venture out in the Pingguo midday sun.

I snatched as much shade as I could as I drove for some sausage and rice at a place I like near A Hua's shop. That filled a hole, and with a cold beer to help I felt the arms of Morpheus doing their trick and I made one last scalding trip in the bike back home where I managed to grab a couple of hours' kip. I woke up somewhat refreshed and called the wife to see what she was doing. Well, she just spent 10000 kuai, that's what she'd been doing. That was for the sofa, the coffee table, the tv cabinet, a shoe cupboard and the sofabed for my study. This had better be blooming good as that's nearly a cool grand she'd just spent while I slept.

I went to the house at around 5pm. I noticed that there was no electricity (again), so gave Lin Hong (who was in the house) a ring as I wondered how the devil they got all the furniture up there. When I told her there was no leccy she sounded surprised, which meant it must have been a very recent occurance. So I rang the wife and told her, much to her annoyance as she was just arriving at the house herself laden with purchases from the supermarket. We couldn't just wait for the electricity to come back so we plodded the 13 flights of stairs to our place to find a welcoming home-like place for the first time. The (non-real) skin sofa fits well with the wood floor and white walls, ditto for the coffee table and tv cabinet thing. The only thing out of place was my lovely tea table. We tried moving it to the end of the sofa near the bathroom but it didn't really work. Then we decided to put it in the corner by the main window and next to the tv cabinet. After some minute adjustments we all agreed it was in the perfect place; I would be able to serve tea to my friends without getting in the way of anyone else, and the table would be in full view of anyone sitting on the sofa. As an extra bonus I liked the sofabed in my study. It's not the widest, and would suit a skinnier couple, or one parent and small child, as it was not quite a double size. However, it was very comfortable for both sitting and lying, and didn't tip over when you sat on the edge (unlike the one I'd tried to the shop-owner's embarrassment last week while looking at one to buy).


View from the sofa, front door opposite. Note the tea table on the right in the wrong place


Tan modelling the new sofa in our nice new apartment, tea table in the correct place now


Tan capturing a pic of the room while I'm getting one of the sofabed in my study, plus the xie gui just in front of Tan and to her left


Me with my pride and joy - fancy a cuppa?


Leilei's bedroom - will double as a spare when couples come over - big enough for 2 + baby...And and Lis??


I was happy with the way things were looking, but I was a bit peckish too. I first wandered down to Ma Laoban's computer shop as I wanted to ask his advice on buying the tea accoutrements. He said he'd take me out later in the evening to get some stuff, but first invited me back to his place to have dinner with "some people". "Some people" turned out to be his family, and there were a lot of them; he has three elder sisters and a younger brother, plus there was the father and various other younger people who no doubt were their kids. I was honoured to be invited to such an event, and really enjoyed the company of this close knit and decent family. A couple of them were beer drinkers, so I was sat down with them to gan bei. The other drinker wanted "er gou tou" (rank white alcohol I can't touch), and Ma Laoban went downstairs to get some, along with some plastic glasses he'd forgotten earlier. He came back with the wrong type of er gou tou. No problem, his wife phoned down to the local shop he'd just been to and asked for the 46% version the bloke wanted. A couple of minutes later the lady came up with the goods, and she was even invited to have some food with us (which she unfortunately declined). The er gou tou drinker poured a full glass of the nearly half alcohol concoction in his glass, but actually only drank that for the duration of the meal. Although I'd said I'd only stay for an hour as I needed to do some shopping, I stayed longer as they didn't want me to go, arguing that we were having a good time so why go shopping as I could go tomorrow? I couldn't argue with such logic!


A lovely meal with Ma Laoban's family

We did leave to go to the tea shop at around 9pm. I hadn't been there before, but it was a friend of Ma Laoban's. We drank some nice "tie guan yin" tea that I'd had recently at Ma Laoban's shop, which was very nice. I then purchased a kettle cum teacup washer plus a few other bits and pieces for 320 kuai. I may well bring it back to the UK as it is pretty nice and practical. We got back and dropped the stuff off at Ma Laoban's shop, and I realised I still had time to get some stuff from the supermarket. In fact Tan rang me at that time to ask me to go and get some milk for Leilei and a doormat for the house, as well as mats for drying your feet outside the bathrooms. So we picked up what we needed, plus a couple of non-slip mats for inside the shower and I took them home before one last trip to Ma Laoban's to pick up the tea stuff and bid him a good night.

Tan fancied some ducks claws, as you do at nearly midnight, so I took the opportunity to take the stuff over to the house, which is becoming more homely by the hour. Back home I could only manage two duck tongues and one duck claw before getting into bed after a long day.

Lack of leccy but far too many meals

True enough, the leccy went some time after 5am and people woke up pretty early due to the enforced humidity. We were all tired but I played with the kids for a bit before taking Leilei out on the bike. After withdrawing some money we went to the tea table place to sort out delivery of our table. The owner looked very busy at the computer as he barely acknowledged us when we entered. I gave him a couple of minutes while we looked at the other wares, and then noticed he was in the middle of a game of online pool, and appeared to be winning. Well I didn't have all day, so I asked him about the delivery (actually I did have all day). He just missed an easy shot into the side pocket and then closed the game - I hoped I hadn't caused the miss. Then he noticed Leilei was here too and showered him with approval. He rang the delivery man and said he was on his way. Then we got chatting again for a few minutes before I asked where the delivery man was, as Pingguo is small enough that 5 minutes is pretty much all you need to traverse it. He rang him again to be told he was nearly there. Roll on nearly 10 minutes later and I had doubts as to whether he knew where he was going. Another phone call and he was "just about to arrive", which he did 5 minutes from then.


The cheerful looking wood artisan shop keeper - cheerful that he'd just made a week's wages or more that morning

It took two blokes to lift the table onto the back of the san lun che pick-up, and they did so without straight backs which is rather non-health and safety, but I thought better of telling them that. I might as well tell the driver to wear a helmet. Then he followed me the two minutes to our new house, and we offloaded it and found out to our collective chagrin that the lack of electricity had hit our place too. He asked what floor we were on, and didn't look to happy when I said "shi si lou" (14th floor), but there was no way I'd expect anyone in their right mind to carry that up one flight, let alone thirteen (here the ground floor is the first floor). So we left it at the bottom and I said thanks. As we left I told the security guard I'd left the table there, and to make sure no-one half-inched it. He looked at me slightly incredulously and said nobody would steal that.


Arriving at our building to find there is no electricity hence no lifts

I unusually had lunch at home with Er jie's husband, and managed a bit of siesta in the heat of the afternoon thanks in part to a post-prandial large G& lemonade. At 5pm Chuan Chuan, Qiqi, Qiqi's dad, Xixi, and myself got ready to go swimming. We picked up Leilei from Nong Kaicheng's house and drove to the place where they are building even more towering blocks on the road to Nanning. There they have an olympic-sized swimming pool and a kiddies' pool with slides and even a see-saw. Although it was supposed to open at 5pm, when we got there at 5.15pm there was a crowd of people, mostly kids in their swimming costumes, waiting outside. It transpired that the pool was being cleaned, and we ended up waiting till 10 to 6 before we were allowed in, by which time there were well over a hundred people. This makes sense as for this month it's free to get in. By the time Leilei and Xixi were having fun with Chuan Chuan it was gone 6pm, and I'd had a phone call earlier in the day from Uncle Yellow inviting me out for a meal at 6.30pm. So I had a dry time, made my excuses and left on foot. I hadn't got as far as the entrance when I got a phone call from A Wu asking where I was. I said I was on my way to meet Uncle Yellow for a meal so he said he'd pick me up in 10 minutes. I said I'd start walking up the road so I'd look out for him.


The kids having fun with Chuan Chuan at the swimming pool - Xixi is on a see-saw

It was a bit of a silly thing to walk up this main road in the blistering sun, and I thought this may be the reason that I suddenly heard men in helmets whistling at me. I stopped, and noticed there were about three of them gesticulating at me to go back to the pool. Had I done something wrong, like trespassing? As I neared the pool I could hear one of them shouting "pao pao!!" which means "run!", which I did as best I could in flip flops. Then I noticed that they had stopped the traffic too. I was a bit worried now as to what I had caused. So I went up to him and asked what was up and he said "pao pao!!" again and pointed up the road. Then I realised he meant "explosion!", and I barely had time to turn around when I heard a loud "boom!" from the other side of a wall, and clods of earth leapt into the air and distributed themselves all over the road. It was fortuitous that they hadn't knocked over the electricity pylon situated a few yards away. Anyway, that was it and we were allowed on our way - no clearing up of the road or anything.

A Wu hadn't turned up and I was nearly home so I gave him a bell and he said "3 minutes" so I told him just to come to the house. I got home 5 minutes later and changed into long trousers and a shirt, before A Wu rang to say he had arrived. I got in the car and we drove up to the guang chang and then turned right instead of left. I explained that the restaurant I was going to was the other way and he said that first we'd go to another place with some police to eat. I told him no, I'd been invited by Uncle Yellow to eat at 6.30pm and it was already that time, but he dismissed it as not important. I forcefully told him to understand that if he wanted me to go to a meal with the police he should have told me before, as Uncle Yellow had when he invited me earlier. So he reluctantly drove me to the restaurant I intended to go to then pointed to the clock on the car, which read "6.40". He said I should eat for one hour and then, at 7.40 call him. I neither agreed nor disagreed, but said I'll call him when finished. Inside room "202" of the restaurant was Uncle Yellow, his wife and a couple of friends I knew from having eaten dog with them back in November 2008. Of course dog was on the menu, and it was very nice too. So was the wild grass, horse, pork, duck and other luxuries. As the meal wore on, the other blokes' wives and sons turned up, which made it more of a family occasion. We had a good time catching up on old things, and I'd forgotten about A Wu, but he dutifully called at 8pm and I told him to wait a few minutes. I was actually stuffed, and didn't really feel like gan bei'ing much more, so I explained that I needed to go and see some police for a bit. They were fine and told me to call them when I'd finished as they might still be there (judging by the amount of food I could believe them).

When we arrived at the large private room with the police and bosses I was greeted by a large cheer from a dozen or so half cut gentlemen. I was led by the arm by who I think was the chief constable, and proceeded to gan bei with every other man in the room (the two women were exempt). I was just grateful that we had the thimble-sized glasses, until I got to the penultimate gentleman who had a normal sized glass, and proceeded to fish one out for me, insisting I down a large one. I somehow managed, then completed my round feeling bloated, and realising that the new chopsticks in front of me would never grip any food in my hands. But, I manfully mustered on through tirades of cai ma much to their delight, until others started to leave. Boss Yang managed to sleep for 40 minutes during all this, then wake up fresh enough to start drinking red wine (with a single ice cube) again. We finally left around 11pm and went back to A Wu's work where we had a little watermelon. Well it was big, but we had a little bit. Tan and the ladies were there. Lin Hong rang Tan to explain that there was a tea table outside the lift at the bottom of the building. I hadn't told her about this as I wanted to surprise her, but had to explain it was my purchase. Apparently there was electricity there, so A Wu took the phone and told Lin Hong to give 10 kuai to a couple of workers and tell them to take it into the house. The ladies left in a san lun che a bit later, not waiting for me as I locked the gate. Probably I smelt a bit of 3% beer.


The meal with police and bosses - the pretty girl in the front is Boss Yang's little sister, Boss Yang is in the green to her right

Alone, at 11.30pm, I wondered the streets for a couple of minutes when it dawned on me that the restaurant I'd left Uncle Yellow in over three hours ago was very close by. On the offchance I gave him a ring and he told me to come over. They were still eating and drinking, and while I could do little of the latter I had a bit of pickled vegetable and chatted to the new blokes who had turned up in my absence. We probably all left well after midnight.

Back home there was still no leccy. Very frustrating as they had said it would be back at midnight. Who "they" are I still don't know - I just get told from time to time that "they" say there will be no electricity tomorrow.... Well Leilei was up, but I got him to sleep easily. But it was very hot so I popped out to the seafood place more for the chance to get an electrically-assisted breeze (yes that side of the road had leccy) than to eat. But it is quite a job to walk the 20 yards there through the various tables without being requested to drink a beer with a bunch of locals. As I hadn't for well over an hour I allowed myself to sit down with some students for just one beer. They seemed grateful that I did so but I politely refused more beer, saying I had to meet some friends. Which was sort of true as the next table I bumped into had some blokes I knew from Bangxu, and we had a bit to eat and drink until the Beijing girl, who is married to one of the locals here came over and told me my friends were waiting at the other table.... So I table-hopped yet again and had to cai ma yet again. I only came out for a breeze and I came back at 2am rather the worse for wear. Then, magically the air conditioning sparked into life, just as I was dropping off. Oh, the relief...I slept a full three hours until...I remember the moment clearly...it stopped again at 6am. Just like that no bloody leccy again.

A Wu's office opening and my own tea table

Took bike out for a spin on my own during mid-morning, and spent some time in a shop that sold beautiful wooden tea tables, among other hand-crafted wooden cultural things such as walking sticks and wild animals. I'd seen this place before but was with Tan so had had no chance to spend any time looking properly. I got talking to the owner, and it transpired he had done all the work itself. Some of the larger tables had prices on - 6800 kuai for an average size (for this place) sample - I asked how long it took to make one of the bigger ones that was on sale for nearly 20000 kuai and he said "20 days". Not bad if you can sell regularly enough. He didn't seem busy, other than playing computer games, and was happy to speak to a foreigner. He explained that some time ago a westerner had come to his shop asking the prices, and had to communicate by typing numbers into his mobile phone.

I stayed a good twenty minutes and rather liked a couple of the smaller tables, that I thought would be a good fit in our new house. The smallest was 1000 kuai, and the next one up 1500. The 1500 one was particularly nice as it had a couple of places you could put stuff like packs of tea or an ashtray, not that I will allow smoking in our new place. I left saying I was interested and would come back with a friend some time.

As there was still a little time before lunch I popped down to see Xixi at Jiuma's place. She has recently been spending a lot of time with her friend Lala, who is a couple of years older. It's nice to see her developing friendships without hitting the other party.

Xixi and Lala playing on some very safe looking stairs

I got home around midday and was immediately called by A Wu saying I should come to his office immediately as there was something important. It transpired that that it was his office's official opening, after having been decorated. It was now resplendent with a large, dark desk with accompanying accoutrements such as a phallic black stone about 20" high and an elephant figurine, but most importantly, there was the money-counting machine taking equal pride of place with the laptop. There were already about ten people inside, half of whom I guessed were the wives of other bosses. They were all sitting on a couple of sofas and other chairs, around a table with a tea set on it, drinking pu er cha and eating slices of watermelon. Over the next 20 minutes more people congregated before we finally decided to went to eat. Tan, who had previously said she wouldn't go, had told A Ni that she now would, so I got on the bike to pick her up from Lao Ma's salon where she'd just had her fringe trimmed. As she was wearing a dress, she sat side saddle with me perched on the front of the seat with my knees sticking out at right angles as they wouldn't fit in otherwise. We got to the place where I normally eat when I meet A Wu and his bosses near his work. It is a rather understated restaurant, not expensive at all, but they do a fantastic "ku cai chao ji dan" (sour greens with fried egg) and pork ribs. We ate and drank well over the course of the following two hours, and I even left early as I needed a kip. I told A Wu about the tea table I'd looked at earlier and he said he also wanted to get one, so he'd take me back in the evening.

Totally unposed pic of me doing business with A Wu in his newly-opened office under the watchful gaze of a tall, dark phallus

A Wu's fancy money counting machine in full swing, next to his large black phallustone

I managed a broken three hours' sleep. Broken by just about everyone in the house - Leilei wanting this, Tan wanting that, Chuan Chuan asking why there was no Internet. The Internet thing was a pain. It had been out since yesterday evening so we called China Telecom and got someone to come out and look. He found out that some place outside our house but within our complex had no electricity, hence the wires weren't working, so he simply turned it back on. Sounds too simple to me. But it was good to have it back, although I made the mistake of checking my emails and ended up doing some work for an hour or two.

At 7pm I called Tan, who was in the new house - apparently it had been cleaned and was nearly ready. The beds had arrived and had been put up, as had the bed lights. All that was remaining was for the curtains to be put up which would happen tomorrow. So I went and had a look and it's actually looking more like a home now. There were various women there for some reason, so I made my excuses and left a few minutes later, leaving Xixi there. I got home to do a tad more work, then Waipo arrived with Xixi, fast asleep. She was concerned as she hadn't eaten, but she's been eating ok so I told her to let her sleep for the night. I then got another call from A Wu who said he was outside and would take me to the tea table shop as he'd said before. I'd forgotten about that and thought he had too. So we went to the place at around 9pm. A Wu agreed that a smaller one would be better for our place, but was unable to get any discount from the owner. In the end I thought that 1500 kuai was less than I would have expected to pay for such a nice table, so I took the slightly bigger one. Or rather I told him to keep it till tomorrow as I had no cash or means to take it to the house. He told me it was "Ji chi mu", which translates to "Chickenwing wood", and I don't yet know what that really means. Anyway it's mine now and I'm very happy about it.

View from where I would sit while pouring tea for my friends

Front side of the tea table

Top view of the table - I think I may call it "Running Dog"

We drove to pick up some watermelons. As A Wu was haggling I stepped out of the car and bought a pack of 10 toilet rolls (individually wrapped for good reason - they would get wet when left in the shower room otherwise). I then went next door and bought a nice sun hat for 4 kuai, and a cool rechargeable torch for 8 kuai. After getting his watermelons we drove another 50 yards, where he went to get a spare key cut for the padlock that locks in his car at his office. I took the opportunity to step out again and buy a couple of jin of Long yan fruit. This translates to "Dragon eye". For some reason they haven't yet found their way to the UK (as most other fruits have), as they are particularly delicious. A Wu complained that eating such fruits in such hot weather would make you come out in spots, but after he tried one it didn't stop him gouging himself for the next few minutes... The key was taking longer than expected to cut, and A Wu noticed 2-1 with a couple of friends having some barbeque so I joined them for a quick game of cai ma and some nice chicken lungs.

I went home to look after Leilei but hadn't eaten anything other than chicken lungs so was rather hungry by the time he got to sleep at 11pm. I decided to get some bbq so went to the place opposite the guang chang that Tan's aunty runs. This is one of the only two bbq places she will normally go to. Well it just so happened as I turned up she was with Lin Hong and her husband - they had just finished so I was just in time to take her home. Finally got out of the house and back to the bbq place half an hour later, where I met Bi Laoban and a couple of others who took delight in cai ma'ing with me while I waited for my ten duck tongues, ten beef and five "fei niu" (fat cow - I think it's a mixture of fat and meat but it is delicious if not especially healthy). I also ate with them so wasn't too hungry by the time my bbq was ready. As it was around midnight Bi Laoban and the others had to go. I took 90% of the bbq I'd just bought back home and put it in the fridge. Chuan Chuan was there and said that she thought there would be no electricity tomorrow from 5am till midnight. Just what I needed. At least she told me so I could charge up anything that needed charging.

Anti-Japanese seafood boss

Tan said she was going to Nanning tomorrow as Lin Hong had said that furniture would be cheaper there. So Jiuma had arranged to take the kids to Bangxu for a couple of days. All without my knowledge of course. Well, the kids duly went at 6pm, and then at 10pm came back as they weren't prepared to stay the night there without one or both of their parents.

It took some time to get the kids to sleep as they must have slept on the bus. But when they did I went out to get a little bbq and then see the boss of the seafood place. He was pretty plastered even by his standards, and made me sit at a table with him alone, launching into a tirade of why he hates the Japanese. There is something about alcohol that really brings out the racist in people. I tried to say that this generation of Japanese had nothing to do with the war, and explained the similarities with Germany and how that attitude was so old hat. He nodded as though he understood what I was saying. Then he said, "Xiao Peng, if you walk into my restaurant I welcome you! But if a Japanese man walked in here I'd kill him!". I just gave up. Too tired to argue, I offered him some bbq but he hardly touched it.

Raw prawns

Although didn't get to sleep till after 5am I decided to wake up before 10am. I got Leilei dressed then took him out to Nong Kaicheng's house to play, as Xixi was already out and I wanted some time at home too. It was very nice to not have to work, and I nearly did nothing for a while before realising that this is criminal in this country when I have such a short amount of time left. So I popped out on the bike and rather predictably met up with A Wu and a couple of bosses for a meal, before getting in A Wu's pickup and driving to the west of the town to pick up a couple of containers of oxygen and one of something else for his work. As A Wu was paying I went for a wander and found a couple of the locals playing chess outside as you do. I marvel at how much time people seem to have here. It transpired that one of the blokes owned the shop next to where they were playing, which looked like it had barely seen a customer for weeks. I found a packet of what looked like cucumber flavoured crisps and bought a couple before I could hear A Wu calling me. Despite the monosodium glutomate, they were ok, having the texture of those prawn shell crisps and actually tasting rather cucumbery.

We then drove to A Wu's work to drop off the gas canisters and pick up some money. Then there was the normal boss work of talking to some of the employees, while a couple of them were manually removing a drill bit from the caterpillar digger in order to put on a scoop bit. The whole operation must have taken 20 minutes and I wondered if it couldn't have been a lot quicker.

Loading the oxygen canisters onto the pickup

Back in town I was anxious to see how the house was getting on as I heard the floor was mostly done. Indeed, it was a bit of an epoch in the whole decoration process as it has made the biggest difference since the walls were painted white!

The wooden floor in the living room

Somehow I didn't have time for tea, but it was ok as we had been invited to take Leilei and Xixi to Boss Yang's son's ninth birthday party in the KTV place by the guang chang. I didn't get there till 9pm as I had to pick up some stuff from the supermarket, and I was starving. Unfortunately though, there were only nibbles as the ladies had already finished the noodles. Some more were ordered but by this time Xixi was getting fractious as she'd not slept today. So, back on the bike to take her home, where Waipo took care of here while I went back. I was slightly disappointed to see that the noodles were of the instant type, but I was more hungry and managed a bowl before being dragged off to play cai ma with other dads. I do really like this game, but it is difficult in a blooming karaoke bar with all the kids singing. At the time of the birthday cake they put on the "Happy Birthday" song with a video of a hideous overly smiling girl singing Happy Birthday first in Mandarin and then in English ("Happy Birssday to you...").

Party People

I got a call from Lu Hai around 10pm asking me to come to eat "Xia sheng", or raw prawns, so I said I should be able to make it, but it would be later. Leilei got flakey around half ten so that was a good excuse for Tan to take him home, and I made my way an hour later, explaining that I'd had little sleep, and pointing out that the birthday boy had fallen asleep on the couch and wasn't it time for him to go home too?

I wasn't really prepared for what I would eat a few minutes later at the seafood place. Lu Hai was still there, with the boss, and when they said raw prawns they meant raw prawns. The boss fished out a few into a bowl and set it on our table. I looked incredulously as he plucked one out with one hand, then twisted off its head, ripped off its still running legs and its shell, dipped it for a second or two in the ginger vinegar and ate it. No more than five seconds from water to stomach. He liked the effect it had on my shocked face, and then, as if to show off, did it again only quicker and without even dipping the grey glistening flesh in the vinegar.

Well, from my first time in Pingguo in November 2003 I have seen some strange things eaten here. I may have been a little shocked but I've had pig's penis, duck tongue, pig's eyeballs and raw fish, but this was a first. I didn't think I would do it but buoyed on by the beers from the KTV, and knowing that such an opportunity would likely not arise again for some time, I gritted my teeth, pulled out a prawn from the bowl and managed to hold on to it for all of a second before it skipped into the air, bounced on the table and flailed to the floor. It got a laugh at least. On my second attempt I kept hold of it but it took a couple of seconds to yank the head off. Not only the body, but the head was still moving. Lu Hai's son Chen Chen took the head to play with I think, while I wrestled with the body. I just know it's easier to remove the legs when they're boiled. Finally, when still, I was able to remove the shell and tail before leaving it a good ten seconds in the vinegar to "seal" it. It was, though, particularly delicious, and I ended up having a few more before the night was out.

My attempts to eat a raw prawn

A rather angry looking prawn