A Hoc meal with Huang Lei and Long'an mates

I somehow got up at 9.30am to see off Tan and kids to Nanning for two days, then got back to sleep till 12pm. Huang Lei called to eat later today and I nearly used that as an excuse not to go to the gym but it was only 4pm, so forced myself after heating up food from yesterday. At least I managed 35 mins of weights and 27 minutes of elliptical but it's probably not enough to make up for excessive intake recently. It was also annoyingly busy, and I was by far the oldest person there, not to mention one of the few who turned up on their own.

I grabbed a shower and a couple of beers before getting to A Hoc's fashionably late at 6.15pm, only to wait another 20 minutes for some mates from Long'an to turn up. But it was a cracking meal as A Hoc is a cook by trade. Tan pinged me to ask me to pick up a couple of deliveries and I was about to use that as an excuse for a break from the meal but a bloke came to deliver a gas bottle and was soaking wet. I saw it was pouring outside so I wouldn't be heading back in a hurry. Anyway they weren't due back till Friday so there was no rush.

Cracking meal with mates from Long'an

We eventually left around 10pm when it was time for the designated driver to do his job. At least they are really strict about that sort of thing here (if not in the towns themselves but between them). But I was barely back home when Zhang Hongping pinged me to say he was in the same place as the other night and once again I thought "why not?". It wasn't the most interesting of evenings but it whiled away enough time till the 3am Holland v England game which I decided to watch at home I think. It was a win, but not a convincing one, and I'm convinced we'll lose to Spain on Sunday night.

Mango fever again

Lunch was once again a home-made affair, but barely had I finished when Ma Yong pinged me to go to Tiandong to eat mangoes, as one does. But yeah, why not? I said I'd need 20 minutes in order to get a shower and of course 10 minutes later I received a photograph showing that he was already waiting outside. Well he'd have to wait. Tan had also asked me to pick up another couple of deliveries so that added on another 5 minutes, but hey, time doesn't seem to be so precious here.

I finally got into Ma Yong's car at around 2pm and we drove the hour to Tiandong. It probably would have been quicker on the train but that's not the way you turn up here. When we did turn up it was just a big warehouse with quite a few people boxing mangoes as you do. We had a few glances before going to the air conditioned office for a few cups of tea and lots of tasting of mangoes. Blimey I had at least four halves of different types of mango: 桂七、台农、、贵妃、大金煌。 They were all delicious of course.

With Ma Yong going to Tiandong

Pan ge's fruity place

Lots of types of mangoes

Then came maybe the real reason I was there today. I'd already posed for photographs and done a couple of films, but Ma Yong now produced a Bluetooth microphone he attached to my shirt. I had to practise a couple of lines saying how much I liked Pan Ge's mangoes. Then I realised Tan had said that in no way should I do any adverts as last year one video went relatively viral and the mango company probably made a lot of money out of it. She'd even complained to Douyin but it wasn't upheld. Wo ge ren don't really care about it but fair enough I should respect that. But anyway I did my bit for a short film and said to only share on Weixin groups but not Douyin.

Copious cups of tea later we finally left, me with a huge bag of mangoes plus two boxes full. On the way home Tan called and asked to speak to Ma Yong who was driving. It was hard to make out exactly what the conversation was about but it transpired she had already seen a couple of photos from this afternoon and was concerned it would be another repeat of last year. So I told her I'd told them to only put stuff on Weixin groups and not Douyin, and to be fair Ma Yong rang the boss Pan Ge to tell him not to put anything on Douyin. I felt a little bit bad as maybe the many mangoes I'd been given were partly in thanks for providing some advertising for his company.

With Pan ge and a mate and mangoes

Back home I realised I was slightly hungry, despite the mangoes in the mid-afternoon, but some bloke pinged me to eat with him and a couple of mates so that was sorted. Except it was a couple of miles away and I hadn't charged the dian dong che. No problem...I'd try to get it there and charge it while eating. And indeed that's exactly what I did. I didn't recollect who the blokes were, but guessed they were from watching football a few days ago. The food wasn't amazing but it filled a hole, and after charging the bike for 90 minutes I made my excuses and went to Li Kun's place as he'd pinged me to have a beer. That was more fun of course and we ended up talking about the Chinese army and how it was so strong now. I didn't bother asking too many questions.

Having a late bite with some mates

Having a later bite at Li Kun's with his son playing with army vehicles

家里有事 - 回家

It hasn't rained for a while and the heat's become oppressive enough to affect my appetite so I forced myself to down a brown boiled egg and a yoghurt for lunch, if only to provide a means of improving the efficiency of my supplements.

In the afternoon Tan asked me to pick up her delivery but the place was closed although a sign had been put up with some handwriting scrawled on it, but I somehow managed to decipher it and sent it to Tan as if to prove something. Well I was happy at least, even if she wasn't that she didn't have her delivery.

家里有事 - 回家

Well it's only a Monday so I shouldn't expect to be invited out so I ate half of one of the the two beef patties Tan had ordered for lunch but neither of the kids had touched. I probably should have had a whole one but you never know if you'll get a last minute invitation. Well, almost inevitably it did happen closer to 11pm when I got a message from Zhang Hongping asking "Do you want to come out for a midnight snack?". So I said "sure" and a few minutes later found myself near Zhang Hua's place, and in fact one of his mates from the other night saw me and asked where I was looking for, but luckily Zhang Hongping (or Wu ge as he likes to be known) turned up and showed me into a tiny wine shop where there were a few blokes around a table.

Of course there was food, and more was delivered and the delivery bloke stayed for a couple of glasses of baijiu, whereas I stuck to the beer Zhang Hongping had thoughtfully brought along. Presently two "beautiful" ladies turned up. "Beautiful" in Hongping's parlance if not mine, but at least it balanced out the evening a little. Finally at 3ish am I left and took Hongping back to his place which is luckily near ours, and when home made the effort to get the reading light so I could light up the QR code to charge up the bike.

"Beauties" in Zhang Hongping's words

Managing to charge up the dian dong che at 3.40am

Haiwei meal and GP

Ooph yeah I wasn't up that early and it was another rather warm one. Although I decided against the gym as it was the weekend, I at least managed to get a bit of piano practice in. Haiwai had called me to meet at the International Hotel with his sons to speak English at 4.30pm so I managed to get to the music place by 3.40pm but my normal room was being used. I found a room but the A/C unit was on the other side and despite setting it to 20 degrees it never made the room comfortable. Within minutes I was sweating bullets and despite the camera overlooking me I undid all my shirt buttons to no real effect. I soldiered on until 4.30pm but for once didn't get a massive kick out of doing it. Li Kun's mate had showed me a new place the other day and I think I'll try to check that out next.

So at 4.30pm I left and got to the Pingguo International Hotel (or at least one of them) and met Haiwei on the 2nd floor where he was with his girlfriend in her office. I didn't realise she worked there but it seems indeed that she is a general manager with her own office. It was of course time for tea and fruit and a few minutes later Haiwei's second son arrived, so I did my bit talking to him in English. Bit by bit more people came and then we were told we were to go for a meal next door.

What followed was a typical sumptuous meal and Haiwei's elder son also turned up, along with another lady and her 18 year-old son. All in all it was a really enjoyable meal and after a while Haiwei and I cracked open a couple of beers to make it more so. I spoke as much English to Haiwei's second son as I could until 6pm when his mum came to pick him up, and spoke a bit more to the elder son. I also managed a few words with the shy 18 year-old to his mother's delight as he clearly had no intention to speak English despite doing five hours of it per week.

Some of Haiwei's son's homework

Yet another sumptuous meal

There was a wedding meal going on next door but I wasn't tempted to join in as I might have been in the past. We just spent a very pleasant couple of hours eating and chatting until about 8.30pm when we decided to leave. When I got home I wanted to take the kids out but it wasn't happening until Xixi opined that she wanted to learn to drive the dian dong che again. She'd managed a few seconds last year and I knew she'd be able to do it, so I drove her to the hotel car park (or parking lot as they now say). Damn, every time there was a person walking past she'd stop and get out her phone as she didn't want anyone seeing her. It took an age but finally she had a bit of confidence to ride it for more than 30 yards.

Xixi finally getting the hang of the dian dong che

Then Leilei turned up and she wasn't in the mood any more so we went to Guanmart to pick up some beer and chocolate as you do. Back home the kids went to chill and then at 10.45pm Li Kun pinged me to say he was at Xiao Bai de Tian. I would have come over straightaway but I was watching the GB Grand Prix and it was one of the best I've seen, thanks 100% to it being a great track and there being rain. Jeez please get rid of Monaco\!

But I didn't want to be rude and turn up too late so got there around 11.15pm and managed to follow the last few laps on the tv anyway. Congrats Hamilton on his 9th British GP and first in ages. We played a few rounds of mopai and I lost every one, before a couple of mates turned up on another table so I went to ganbei with them and chat a while. Apparently someone was about to deliver some special raw fish so I had to wait at the table until they did. Leilei also duly arrived to eat bbq and we found ourselves in the midst of another photoshoot with a prettyish girl on another table plus Xiao Bai, the owner's wife.

Leilei enjoying being the focus of attention (not his baba of course)

Apparently it is her birthday next Friday so I promised to learn a Chinese song and sing it then. It's so easy to make such promises after a few beers but I'd better stick to it. Li Kun left at 1.30am soon after Leilei, but somehow I didn't leave till well gone 4am.

Football x2 with Pingguo and Yinggelan with Zhang Hua

I knew it would be a late one tonight what with England playing Switzerland, so didn't try to get up too early. And tamely decided not to go to the gym as it was the weekend and last time it was already pretty busy. So I decided to do a bit of shopping at Guanmart. Annoyingly the still haven't moved my mobile number to this summer's one so I have to read out last time's one but blimey if that's not a first world problem! Not to mention the beer I normally get has gone down from 9.90 to 8.90 kuai for 6 cans. A quid for half decent 3.3% beer!

8.90 for six of the strongest local brews in the supermarket!

Back home I realised Pingguo Haliao were playing at bottom-placed Jiangxi Lushan, but I couldn't find a stream online. The Wuming Weixin group seemed to suggest some people were watching it somewhere but I couldn't work out where so I went to Wuming bar and found it almost empty. On a Saturday night at nearly 9pm. Blimey. They were showing the game but I didn't really want to watch without an atmosphere. The bloke I was sitting with in the bar suggested pinging Zhuang Hua as he was his friend too, so I did and he got back to me saying he'd just opened a new bbq place but he wasn't there at the moment, but said he'd send a weizhi and indeed it was only a couple of minutes away.

So I ended up watching the match on the big screen in Wuming bar with a handful of people. I'd missed the first half but we'd had five shots on target and should have been well in the lead but it was still 0-0. Then finally in the 66th minute Bammou scored a  neat left-footer and that ended up being the final score. So 3 points but we'll need to play much better than that to have a chance at getting promotion.

Zhang Hua pinged me on the final whistle to say he was back, and the bloke who worked at Wuming bar wouldn't let me pay for the two bottles of beer I'd consumed during the second half. So I went over to his new bbq place by the basketball courts to give him a big hug as we hadn't seen each other in...err...only four months or so. Some other bloke was there and we opened a beer before Leilei pinged me to say he was also nearby so he came by for a bite to eat.

Zhang Hua's new bbq place he only opened two weeks ago

I was due to watch the England - Switzerland match with Li Kun at the usual place opposite our place but as I was here I decided to support Zhuang Hua's new place and pinged Li Kun to ask if it was ok to come here. Of course it was. So at 11.30 I excused myself and popped home to change into my 21 year-old England kit and also to charge up Jiuma's bike that Leilei had plugged in. When I got back there were were three tables put together and a good 12 people or so, and loads of goodies to eat. There was one bloke particularly eager to see me as we'd met a few years ago. He was wearing a City top and gave me a very drunken hug. Needless to say he didn't last the distance.

A friend from some time ago

An excellent array of food even if the match wasn't so good

There were the perfunctory photo shoots before Li Kun turned up at midnight as the match began, followed by his wife and younger daughter a bit later. Yes it was another poor affair from England but thanks to Saka we made it to extra time. I could have done without that, or the penalties, but at least we did well for once. Somehow I managed to watch some of the Holland - Türkiye match later, falling in and out of sleep as the former won, slightly unfortunately as the latter have been one of the better teams to watch.

Getting the dian dong che sorted and more late night footy

I awoke to read the fairly obvious news that Labour had a landslide. I didn't realise that they only had something like 1.7% more of the vote than last time, but Conservatives had lost 20% and most of that to Reform. So it was like a massive protest vote by erstwhile Tories who couldn't bring themselves to vote Labour. But that translated into so many more seats for Labour. I'm really not sure what I think about PR now (or what it would have been with PR and 15% Reform MPs)...maybe the French system is least worst.

By 7pm I realised I really had to find the bike, so checked Google photos again and for some reason now it showed a map! Despite the zero lat and long yesterday. What had happened overnight? I had not expected anything to change, and I'm aware Einstein said something like the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing time and time again and hoping for different results (aka the Southgate Syndrome). Well it wasn't time and time again, and there will be a reason for it. Maybe it takes time to process that aspect of the photo and they do it in batches rather than for every single upload. The only issue was that it showed the red marker in the hillside. I guess this is because I've heard when using Chinese GPS they don't give you exact results. But it was near enough where I thought it would be.

Outside I got on Jiuma's dian dong che and had a quick thought: if Google photos is showing the map view then surely the phone will. I opened it up and eventually found if you swipe up it revealed a map view and you could click on a link to open it up in Google Maps, which gave a much more accurate pin. Why it was more accurate I don't know but won't complain this time. Some of my photos in Google photos say they were taken in Peru and Vietnam and I've not been there recently or set the VPN to use these countries.

Still, it took 25 minutes to find the bike, but it would have been three times that on foot. And it was getting pretty dark too. Next I had to work out what to do. I walked up the road 50 yards and found a dirt track leading to a small place with a corrugated roof under which I could see a light. I walked down and saw a woman get and look at me, so I told her I was rather embarrassed but could she point me to a place where I could charge my dian dong che? She looked a bit puzzled and called for her husband, who leapt out and I said the same thing and he just said plug it in here and have something to eat! This is so Chinese...at least Guangxi.

I offered to pay but they were having nothing of it, and sat me down with a bowl and a beer which was handy as I'd not had tea yet. The next half hour was a very pleasant chat together with a few photos which were shared on his Weixin group of course. The beer went down well and I was quite comfortable before I realised I needed to get Jiuma's bike back, so I explained and said I'd come back in an hour or so to pick up my bike, which was fine by them.

Back home Leilei was waiting for Jiuma's bike so I let him have it. I needed to do a little shopping, but more importantly I needed to learn how to book a hire dian dong che. So after the shopping I pinged Li Kun as I knew he'd be able to help me. But at his office he'd just popped out to pick up his son. Ha, no problem Li Kun's mate said he'd take me in his car. And just like that I sent him the location and we were there 10 minutes later. I had remembered to bring two packs of chocolate for the family's two sons, but when I got there only the grandpa was there as the parents were putting the kids to sleep. So I explained what the little present was, and to put it in the fridge. He said to come back one evening for a meal and I think I probably will.

Having tea with a kindly family who let me charge up the dian dong che there

Li Kun's mate insisted I follow him back, and thankfully the two hours' charge was more than enough to get back, using a much more direct route than I'd taken the other night.

It was now 10.30pm and Li Kun was there with his wife and son, as well as two other mates. He told me off for saying Austria would beat Türkiye then asked me who would win out of Spain and Germany. I said Spain were the better team but Germany had the home advantage, so based on similar statistics for the former game I reckoned Germany would shade it. So he said he was going to bet (not real money) on Spain, and we were to go out to watch the match at the same place as the other day; if Spain won he would pay and if Germany won I would pay. Damn, I actually thought Spain would win.

After a few glasses of tea and beer, we left 20 mins before the game and I made sure I plugged in the dian dong che at ours first. It was nice to have the six or seven of us there (Li Kun's wife and son and another wife and son also came), and it being a Friday there were far more people eating outside than last time. Well it was a pretty ok match that excitingly went to extra time though Tan called to ask why out so late again. Bloody Spain did it late into extra time but it was the result I'd have taken before the "bet" and I happily went and paid the 264 kuai that had kept us fed and watered for nearly three hours.

Late night footy watching after some had had to go home to bed

Nosh with Nong and the lads

After last night's shenanigans I was up too late for breakfast for the umpteenth morning in a row, and decided against going to the gym lest my shoulder was still healing. So for once I had a somewhat home-cooked lunch together with leftovers from the meal yesterday， which was actually just what I needed. I planned to go and find the dian dong che from the early hours of this morning, but when tapped on "Information" of the photo I took I didn't see much more than the aperture etc. But I remembered that on Google photos it showed me on the map where the photo was taken.

So I uploaded the photo and went to look at it but bloody Google photos only gave me the option of adding a location. I checked my phone and had definitely enabled adding location tags. So back on the laptop I looked at the metadata of the photo and chose to open it up in Google maps but bloody hell it opened it up at 0.0 and 0.0 lat and long so I was none the wiser. Annoyed, I let it lie for a while. I had a rough idea where I'd left it.

For tea I ended up getting a portion of jiaozi from the usual place, and having a grape with the boss as I was waiting for her to heat them up. Back home a little later Nong pinged me to ask what I was doing. I said not a lot and did she want to meet up for a beer. She said yes and where? I didn't know where so said to wait a little. I then pinged Li Kun to go for a beer and he also asked me where. Well I thought this was my chance to invite a couple of people but shortly after Li Kun said he hadn't slept well last night and wouldn't come out. Then Nong said she was going to go for a drink after her drumming practice so I still didn't know if I was the inviter or the invitee.

Thankfully a while later she called me to say she'd pick me up in ten or 20 minutes...she'd call me when she left her house. So 10 minutes, and half a can of beer later, she pinged me to say she'd arrived. Fair enough...I should be used to that now. So we drove to the new place over the bridge where we'd been to a musically-themed meal  earlier this year and I'd introduced her to Li Kun and Huang Lei. The usual guys were there and we enjoyed a really pleasant late night with some sheng yu and good chat, and a new card game for me that I didn't do too badly in, although Nong was on my side helping.

You literally cannot just have a beer with friends here

2am came around as it usually does, and eventually the night was done, and thankfully Muscle Boss offered to take me back in his car. He opined that he didn't like electric cars due to their lack of range. I considered saying that they already do 500km and within a few years it may be double that but what was the point? I'd had a cool evening after a wee chat with the lads at 3am took some sleeping help and couldn't even join the next Zoom call. Whoops, I'd forgotten about picking up the dian dong che...that will have to be for tomorrow.

Gym, baby's 100th day meal, more bbq and getting lost miles from home...

After late last night I didn't get up till nearly lunchtime to find that Jiuma had brought us some changfen. I couldn't manage a whole portion so snipped off a third and managed the rest with a yoghurt as it would be gym time shortly. Indeed this time I spent most of the time in the VIP area with Tan and we focused on legs, using a pointy roller first of all to prepare the muscles apparently. We did quite a few things using weights and she's actually quite good at lifting them but although I could do as well I said it was harder for me as I had longer legs. She disagreed but I thought better than to stand my ground. We finished off with only 10 minutes on the elliptical but really by then it was 3pm and we were both knackered.

Tan doing leg exercises at the gym...I followed of course

A bit later I went to pick up the shoes I'd put in to clean a couple of days ago. This should have been the simplest thing ever. I may not have had the ticket but I had a photo of it. It clearly said it was number 0000537. But the bloke flicked through his receipts and went straight past 537, going down to 520. I interjected and said he might want to go up again but he disagreed. Now sometimes I'm very wrong, and I thought this might be one of those times...I mean it's so obvious you find the ticket with the same number right? So I waited as he flicked down again, and the he started flicking up again but annoyingly went past 537 to 540. By now I was slightly annoyed. I focused in on the ticket number on my phone but he said he didn't agree. Didn't agree with what I'll never know. Eventually he started counting down from 550 and I tried to stop him at 537 but he didn't want to know. Finally he called his wife who came and immediately found 537 and my shoes in under 10 seconds. I really hate to have any prejudices against anyone but how in heaven's name the husband couldn't have worked it out I'll probably never know.

Surely the number was clear enough‽

Unfortunately it seems the dian dong che is broken. I know it kicks a bit under acceleration but Leilei said it had just stopped now and when I checked I saw he was right. On the way back from the gym I'd seen a place that was inflating the tyre of a dian dong che and I asked the bloke if he fixed them too. Unfortunately I asked the owner of the bike rather than the owner of the shop, but he didn't seem to care, and when I actually asked the owner of the shop he answered in the affirmative and I said I'd be back in half an hour as it was just across the road from our complex and I wouldn't want to wheel it any further.

But of course as soon as I got out of the shower it showered the way it tends to here: a lot. Taking the bike out would be impossible without getting soaked, and my thoughts of getting in a piano practice also got diminished as we were to go to Tan's cousin's baby's 100th day celebration at some time. At what time? I'd just asked Tan and she said she didn't know as no-one had called her. But by now it was already 5pm, and by the stink of tobacco I could tell Tan's brother or A Heng were here. It was the former. Then Tan announced the taxi was coming just like that. I mean at least give me 5 minutes.... Whatever, I put on a top and shoes and walked to the main gate to find them in a didi che and shouting at me to hurry up. This is well and truly Guangxi!

It was of course a huge affair, and the opportunity to meet even more relatives for the first time or the first time in ages. It would have cost a ton to hire out the place and to feed the 300+ people but here the red envelope means you effectively pay a fee per person and I've love to know exactly how much that was. So it's a lot more like going Dutch, or AA zhi as they say here, even though that never happens for a "normal" meal.

A Heng, Qi Qi gege, Chuan Chuan, a cousin, the husband, the wife, Tan and their baby, me, Leilei, Xixi

After the main meal was mostly done, someone from a neighbouring table came to ganbei with me (Tan had reminded me to bring some beer over earlier when the hosts were coming round toast each table, but I wasn't really able to drink by myself). I thought I'd better reciprocate the manoeuvre and looked over towards that table to see Lu zong beckoning for me to come over. I didn't need a second invitation and brought a can of beer with me and was immediately given a chair and a bowl etc. There were three old men to my right, one of whom I recognised, and my can of beer was promptly taken out of my hand and I was poured a glass of baijiu despite my protestations. I mean real protestations...normally I can convince them that I can only drink beer but on this occasion they were having none of it. I suppose it was a celebratory occasion, and they were old gents, so for only the second time in 20+ years I gave in. I asked how strong it was and they said 35%, but luckily it didn't have that awful taste that most of them do. And at least with baijiu, unless it's a tiny thimble, you can have a pretty little sip. So I pretty little sipped my way through three glasses of cheersing, during which time I invited Tan over to meet some of the people. And then I had a quick look at the bottle...22%...so not that bad at all.

Celebrations in full swing at the baby's 100th day meal

A view of the Guangxi specialities on offer

It transpires that Lu zong's mum's sister is Tan's mum's brother's something or other. Either way they are blood related and they'd never even met before! I used to plan on making a family tree on this side of the family but I've pretty much given up hope now. After an hour we were one of only about four tables with people on them, and I was obliged to stop at one of them as it was on my way to the loo. At least they let me caima with beer. A bit later one of the blokes said he had arranged a KTV room downstairs, so we went down there where at least beer is expected. But I would have expected at least a couple of women. Two eventually turned up, and I did my "Pengyou" number of course, before Li Kun pinged me to go to his office for a drink. I sent him a pic and showed I couldn't really leave and invited him over but he was working the next day and couldn't do a late one.

But I was getting a little fed up at KTV, so when Chen pinged me to go for a drink again at soon after 11pm I made my excuses and somehow got home to find that Leilei said the dian dong che was now working, so we guess it must have been some water that got into the system. That was lucky as I could take the dian dong che to the same bbq place I'd been to two days ago. So it was another late one with these mates, but at least this time without a downpour. I managed to leave around 2.15am and a while later found myself strangely lost. I'd taken the scenic route back as you do but it was a very long way round, so when I checked where I was I was aghast to see I was a good three miles from home, but not as aghast as when the dian dong che ran out of dian a couple of minutes later. Blast, I still can't use the blue electric hire bikes like even Leilei can, and I'd promised myself to sort that. With no ability to hail a didi che either there was no choice but to walk it. But I was sober enough to have an important idea; I took a photo of the dian dong che - not because I'd recognise where it was in the pitch dark, but hopeful that the photo would have the coordinates so I would be able to find it again soon.

It was 2.45am but I didn't have much choice other than to march the three miles home. It was still wet and once I slipped and fell down and hopefully my favourite linen trousers are not ruined. Eventually I got home a bit before 4am swearing something. I don't remember what...maybe just swearing that I was an idiot. I was tired after the gym, and drinking, and walking, and it didn't take me too long to get to sleep.

Meal with Tan then drinks and footy with Li Kun and mates

A late wake again meant lunch was leftovers from the waimai Tan had ordered earlier. At tea-time we couldn't get the kids to be interested in coming out, so Tan and I decided to go out ourselves to Xiao Tang Zong where we'd taken the kids a couple of evenings ago. It wasn't stiflingly hot so she agreed to walk the 10 minutes there as the dian dong che was charging. You can't really beat 39.80 kuai for a nice sit down meal, and after we walked to A Xia's shop to pick up Xixi's new shoes.

"Life is be you tiful" - like it!

I still had the umbrella given to me last night, which I intended to return even though Tan had said it wasn't necessary. So I started walking in the direction of Jiang Bing Lu but after 100 yards I could feel something in my tummy and I didn't want to be stranded so headed homeward bound. Accompanied by Awl of the phone I only just managed to get there on time before having a real Pingguo ladu moment. I guess it was too soon to be the meal I'd just had with Tan so guessing it was the takeaway lunch. I'd only had a couple of beers before we went out so it couldn't have been them.

So, feeling re-invigorated, I set off back to Jiang Bing Lu, but after 5 minutes I passed by Li Kun's office and was shouted at to come in and have a glass of beer which I duly did. Li Kun and one of the mates were playing a fighting game online on their phones, and the other, little, bloke was pouring them tea and himself beer, so I joined him in the latter. I ended up spending two hours there, while all the time the two of them were on their phones, but at least the little man brought out some fried chicken and cooked some slices of black pudding.

It was well gone midnight and I'd said I'd be going to watch the football so I left and they said they'd be there in a bit. I passed by the local shop to pick up a couple of beers then dumped them in the kitchen before going to one of the places with a big screen opposite the house. For once there was no-one watching, but once my three mates arrived they cleared the table next to the big screen. I told Li Kun to order and that I would pay, and he said I should say “你点菜，我来买单” and that we could do this every day if I wanted. It was an ok watch but we left soon after the final whistle as Li Kun had to be up in under six hours. Although I was pretty knackered I managed to stay up to see the first half of Austria Türkiye, which was amazing and enabled me to somehow stay up for the second half, which was even better. If only England could play with the enthusiasm of either team in that match. Congrats on Türkiye going through.

Pain, piano, and double bbq

Managed to get up soon after 10am and Tan was getting ready for the gym. I would like to have gone, and may not have regretted it but knew I needed a bit more kip so after a pint of water with a vitamin tablet I slept for another two hours. This time when I got up I had a significant pain in my right shoulder and could think why. The pain got worse so I thought I'd take a Naproxin, but for that you need to have some food. I once took some without food and not only felt physically sick but also mentally awful. I was all I could do to cancel my dentist appointment before going on a walk to try to forget about the pain. So this time I went and got my default jiaozi, got back and had my daily yoghurt with a gram of crushed resveretrol, two teaspoons of psyllium husk, and the rest of my daily supplements. It doesn't make up for lack of gym though, although with the pain getting worse I definitely wouldn't have gone. Ah, I've just realised it could have been my overexuberance bringing in the tables and chairs last night from our neighouring bbq place; that's about the only place I've expended energy recently from the top half of my body.

The pain was still getting worse until about an hour after taking the Naproxin, when I managed to doze on and off for another couple of hours. And then when I got up finally around 4.30pm it had totally gone. I wasn't going to push it by going to the gym, so did the next best thing and went for piano practice instead. After that I went to the clothes shop to look for XL and L size kits for T and E, but they only had every other size from S to XXXXL, so the bloke told me they should be in next week. Then I got a message from his wife a few minutes later asking what sizes I wanted, and that I should have them by tomorrow.

"Because there is no industrial addition to craft beer, you can drink too much of it without feeling bad the next day."

It may not be tuned too well but it's my go-to piano here.

Tan pinged me to say that Xixi's all-day hair appointment to make it greyish would finish soon and that we would go to Tianyang Po's for bbq. So I first dropped of my black canvas shoes to be cleaned, before sauntering over there in some of the most clingy heat I've experienced here, but before I got there I was called over to a table by a couple of blokes and a woman. Apparently we had eaten or drunk with them last summer and one of them proved it by showing a video of Leilei, Nezha, and I around a table with them. Then the owner of the place came out and we shared a couple of beers until Leilei walked past, pointing behind me to where Tan and Xixi were already sitting down. So I politely ganbei'd them and went over to have some of the best bbq in town before heading back home. I barely had time to crack open a cold one when Chen pinged me at 10.45pm for the first time in a year to tell me to go over to a bbq place on Jiang Bing Lu. I said I should be able to and he told me to "hurry up" as you do.

Friend bunch of people near Tianyang Po's bbq place

Ahh...duck tongues and sweetcorn bbq

Leilei had taken our dian dong che, but luckily Jiuma's was there, and charged up. I'd have had to walk the 20 minutes otherwise as I can't order didi ches on Weixin (as  apparently it requires face ID, yet my financial stuff on the phone is all in Li Kun's name. And although I've tried a couple of times I haven't been able to hire a blue electric bike either. I've got to sort one or both of these things out. So 5 minutes later I was parked outside and called Chen only to be answered with shouts from the other side of the road. There were a good six of them and of course I had to ganbei with each of them multiple times. I was quite glad I'd only had the one or two earlier.

But it was a fun night, with a lot of caima, and we got the pretty worker from the neighbouring bbq place to sit with us for a bit and I played caima with her too, to squeals of delight. The France - Belgium game had started but no-one was really watching it. Then, around halftime the wind started picking up and within seconds the bbq place people were bringing in the tables and chairs. The poor women from next door which whom I had just been caimaiing had no customers and was bringing in all the tables and chairs by herself so of course I jumped over to help bring it all in. No other bloke did though. Then, on cue, the heavens opened but by now we were inside and dry. Now we did focus a bit more on the footy and I was almost glad France scored a late goal as it meant we wouldn't have to watch at least another half an hour as it was getting on for 2am.

Yudao hao men bbq place in Jiang Bing Lu

It was the rain that wouldn't let me leave so soon though, so we ended up drinking till 2.30am anyway before it died down a little, when I said I'd better be off and the boss gave me an umbrella to keep most of the rain off. Chen did check that I'd got back ok. I tried to watch Portugal - Slovenia but if I did I don't remember any of it.

Xiao Tang Zong with the kids then footy to see Engerland go through...just

Up for lunch of takeaway again. I asked Tan what time we were leaving for Bangxu tomorrow morning and she said that we weren't going now as there was no car and her body was aching. This is so typical I don't get annoyed any more. But blimey I could have cancelled plans because of this funeral we were to attend over the next two days. And now, just like that we aren't going. It's not as though we couldn't arrange a taxi or something for the 45 minute drive...I don't know...I guess it's something more than that, but it's going to remain a guess as it's really not worth the effort of asking to find out the real reason. Live and learn. Or not learn as Mat would say.

At least for tea we managed to get all of us out of the house and we took the two dian dong ches to what looked like a western style fast food place but thankfully was very much Chinese food. Tan had complained about Xixi taking such a long time and said the restaurants would be closed but it was 7.30pm when we got there and were lucky to find a table. It was good food and a bit refreshing not to have to drink beer with it. But beer would be on the menu later as it was the England - Slovakia match. Surely we'd pick up a bit now?

Phones at Xiao Tang Zong

I waited till 15 minutes before the midnight kick-off before going to Wuming bar to find it was nearly completely empty. Just one table with people who invited me over and explained that people were working tomorrow. I guess so. We're normally here a bit later in the year when I suppose more people are free. So I watched the first 15 minutes of the match but didn't want to keep these people from their beds so decided to go back to the place outside our house.

That was much more lively than Wuming, and the first table motioned for me to come over. They seemed more interested in talking and drinking with me than actually watching the footy, so I didn't get to watch much of what I understand was a rather missable first half. The guys all left at half time so I moved on to another table to continue, and it was much the same until the last few minutes when I actually got to watch some of the match and see Bellingham's amazing bicycle kick. So it was extra time, but halfway through that my table left to go home so I watched us squeeze through to the last 8 not looking like a top 8 team at all. A carload of people came to eat before the end of extra time but I managed to stop myself trying to go over to them, and instead wished them to eat slowly as you do, and got home in time to start watching Spain v Georgia which was by accounts a much better game but I didn't stay awake beyond 1-1.

Watching us win unlike

Second footy match!

Yesterday I mentioned to Haiwei that Leilei and I were going to the football match v Chongqing this evening, and he said he was also going, and we were to meet up straight afterwards at Bar 3000 Du, as both his sons would be there and he wanted them to speak with me in English again. I knew this wouldn't go down too well with Feng ge, who had sorted my tickets and would want me to go for drinks with him afterwards.

Not that long after a lunch of jiaozi, Feng ge pinged me to say to be at the stadium by 5pm in order to sing with the Chongqing supporters. From experience, we normally only get 30-40 away supporters, so I was a bit surprised. But I've now been put into a Weixin group with nearly 300 people and I could see they were talking about being there early. I had a couple of pick-you-up at getting on for 4pm then Feng ge pinged me to let me know he was already at the stadium and to "hurry up!". Yeah, I've heard this before...so I left on the dian dong che at 5pm and some Wuming supporters members called me over before I could even get to the bar. I said I was looking for Feng ge and immediately he appeared and we went to the bar...not to drink, or to eat noodles as he had said, but to pick up one of the many loudspeakers charging on the desk.

Next we heard the drums start up and some chanting, and we started to march and chant from the north of the stadium to the south. There we met the Chongqing supporters, and there were about 1000 of them in great voice, even better than ours. We spent the next 25 minutes exchanging chants and rounds of applause in a sort of face-off, with a few totally unnecessary riot police in-between us.

Next we continued walking around the stadium, me posing for photos as Leilei was to come up later. At one stage Feng ge came over to me with a tiny glass of baijiu, and for once I was almost happy to have a wee nip. But then some woman pulled out a bottle of the stuff, and started pouring into tiny plastic glasses on a table. I should have predicted this, but then I was told we would caima of course. This was probably the largest audience I've had for caima and at least managed to win one round before losing and being replaced in a winner-stays-on format. Then a woman who had been videoing the proceedings came up to me and asked if I was Bangxu guye, and I replied in the positive, then she asked me to give a shout-out to the team so I shouted ”广西平果哈嘹加油！“ as you do. She asked me what impression I had of Pingguo, and I was so glad I understood “有什么印象” as last time here I wouldn't have understood that question. So it seemed she was a bit of a reporter and I guess some videos of me will be up for Tan to see and tut to soon.

Meeting the Chongqing fans

Me trying to help out our supporters

They got me to play a bit of caima...luckily I won one round at least

We waited for the team bus and cheered the players getting off, before finally completing the loop of the outside of the stadium and getting back to Wuming bar for those noodles. Feng ge gave me our tickets and said to come back after the match as Li Kun and his band would be on stage. I said I had to go elsewhere but that I should make it a bit later, which he seemed to accept. So off again, I met up with Leilei and we went in to watch the match. Blimey it was very full-on again in the Wuming stand behind the goal, and the Chongming supporters didn't let up either. By halftime there was a wafting stench of BO, and I was already looking forward to the end. Really annoyingly Chongqing equalised in the 95th minute, but 1-1 was a fair result and they were in 2nd place anyway.

Leilei didn't want to go to Bar 3000 du so we drove home and I changed into my last year's Pingguo Haliao top before getting there at 10pm and spending a reasonably fun two hours chatting a bit of English to the sons. At midnight I pinged Feng ge to say I'd come over if that was ok and of course it was. I arrived 5 minutes later to a much more raucous Wuming bar than I had left earlier this evening. Li Kun told me he was drunk. Feng ge told me he was drunk. I was sat down with other people and I wished I was hungry enough to avail myself of the fried crickets. The the good-looking pop star lookalike sat down with me at the table and chinged my glass, for the first time with a glass of alcohol. Then a few minutes later he was back on stage singing.

With Haiwei at Bar 3000 Du 

Cracking grub at Wuming a bit later...

I think I was invited to go up on stage too but I was too modest, even after a few beers. This was more of a professional set too. So I watch a bit of Switzerland demolish Italy and chatted to more and more people, and I recall some caima for good measure.

Exercise for the body and brain, then more merriment in Jiang Bing Lu bar

Actually had breakfast for a change as I was up late morning and Tan and I were to go to the gym at 1pm. This time I joined it properly, well a three month "season ticket" for 468 kuai as it was 330 kuai a month otherwise. Well worth it if I use it as much as in the UK. And no A/C makes you really sweat it out. Then for lunch I decided to boil the quail eggs I bought yesterday. Cheap and proteinful, perfect for after the gym.

After a shower I went for a bit of a walk with my Valencian shopping bag and my music in tow. The piano practice now feels as necessary exercise for my brain as the earlier gym trip was for my body. Except I find the former enjoyable, at least when pieces start coming together. Tea was a simple affair at home, which was slightly disappointing but I shouldn't really be going out to eat every evening (should I?). Then I took Tan to get her nails done, in a medical sense as she's got some fungal infection and needs to have them dressed every day before they can apply medication. I then drove her down to A Xia's shop and as we were slowly weaving through people and traffic she commented on how much she likes Pingguo. That's nice to hear as recently she's been a bit more critical of China. Also it's rare to agree on something!

So much for not going out. Lu zong had pinged me this morning to say we may be going back to his bar, but I'd not heard since. But then I checked his group chat (that I've muted) and saw that he'd been inviting mates to go over, so I thought "why not?" and biked it over there at 10pm but very gingerly as I hadn't managed to charge it up today after Leilei sent me the QR code.

Well it wasn't quite as raucous as yesterday, even though it was Friday, and I sat at a table with Lu zong and some other guys while Lu zong ordered a load a bbq. As per usual people came and people went, and I was one of the few option for beers rather than white alcohol. It had its effect and I took the initiative of table-hopping to a much bigger and busier table, and I found I knew nearly everyone at it so it was multiple ganbei time again. Presently someone called Huang Lei and although he'd already had a few, came over a bit later.

It turns being peckish into being ravenous

Chinese omelette with added fish eggs

I table-hopped again and this time I knew no-one at the table, though of course they all knew of me. We spent the best part of an hour chatting and cai ma'ing. One of the blokes said he was some sort of spinal doctor, and he said he could tell I had a spinal issue as my sitting stance was slightly crooked. Well I don't think I do sit crookedly, and I think I may have mentioned that I have sciatica already to him before he made such a diagnosis. But whatever, it ended up him applying pressure to various parts of my spine and I made no mention of double-blind experiments or whatever, and thanked him for his care.

Then it was back to the big table again now that Huang Lei had arrived, and yes of course the guitar was got out. At least I didn't have to go on stage this time. I managed to get through Mrs Robinson, The Boxer, and Sound of Silence. Well get through in sorts as I remember forgetting some of the lines and repeating others, but I daresay no-one noticed as it was about 2am and all were half cut.

I was next in line for the guitar...

So finally we dispersed around 2.30am and managed to get the dian dong che 3/4 of the way home before the batteries gave up, so I parked up and walked the last 5 minutes back for another late one.

Being mistaken for a professional football player

Lunch was takeaway jiaozi from the normal local place. I nodded hello to a bloke while getting some lajiao to take back with me and he asked if I was one of the Pingguo Haliao football players. I took this as a massive compliment as I'm 20+ years older than most of them, even the foreigners. This must be one of the few places in the world where I could be mistaken for a professional football player! Then he realised I was the Bangxu guye and said he knew Lu Wen, so I said next time he was with him to get him to call me and go for a bite.

But when I got back I realised I needed a poo but yesterday I had blocked the matong (western style) toilet due to the same reason and we don't have a plunger. So after having used the squatter I realised what today's shopping list was becoming: a new plunger, a reading light, a set of keys for Xixi, and something else. There's always something else that I forget. But it doesn't matter. Going to buy trivial stuff here is always a bit of fun. Most would-be trivial things are fun here, at least if they involve a bit of human interaction.

I rode down to the marketplace and straightaway found a shop selling plungers. I'd learnt the word matongba so asked for one but the bloke looked at me as if I was speaking another language. So I had to describe the problem and he reached up and unhooked exactly what I thought I'd asked for. I asked him what the word for this was and he used three syllables I'll never remember, but none of them anything like matongba. Sometimes it's just like that. Then one door down I found the same shop that I'd bought my reading light at back in November last year. I don't know where that one had gone in the meantime but I found an identical model and again the bloke would only accept 13 kuai instead of 15 it said on the box.

Then the heavens opened and I used my waterproof coat to cover the seat of the dian dong che and got Xixi's keys cut until it passed. Oh yes, that's what it was...the last thing. A towel for Xixi. This should be the easiest thing to find but after walking through the market and asking a few stallholders I was still towel-less, until eventually arriving at the first shop I'd been to and asking them. The bloke pointed above him and said "aren't they towels?". Ha, yes I guess they were but they were pretty small. I asked for the largest and it was barely more than a facecloth but I bought it anyway.

As I walked past a fruit-seller the lady called to me. Ah it was the woman I'd known since first coming here. She mentioned she'd moved shop recently (obviously) and then went to the back of the shop and fetched the photo Andge and I had presented her back in 2013, of her and two other market sellers and me in 2003. It's little interactions like these that make my day. I did feel a bit bad for Xixi's tiny towel though so popped in to Guanmart to get a proper sized one for 29 kuai, when Haiwei pinged me to eat with him and his new girlfriend at the youcha place by the guangchang. So that was the evening sorted.

She still has the photo we took 20 years ago but only gave to her 11 years ago

Back home it took a whole five seconds to unblock the loo, and I just wondered what happened to the old plunger.

I got to the youcha place fashionably late at 8.45 to a tableful of people I mostly didn't know. Haiwei's girlfriend is called Li Baoli and seems very nice and sociable, though wasn't drinking as apparently she'd had a heavy night last night. What's most important is that they seem really happy together. And I was happy to be there too...a relatively simple meal outside with some nice fish, though I avoided the youcha as I was told it would stop me sleeping. But Nong pinged me at 11pm to say she was at Lu zong's bar at Jiang Bing Lu, and as we were winding down I decided it would be polite to pop over.

But I didn't have the bike so decided I would finally try to use one of those blue hire bikes, but I couldn't get Weixin to sort it out properly. Leilei has used them before so I'm sure I should be able to do it, but I ended up walking the 20 minute walk there and getting there well after 11.30pm. Well getting to the wrong place (again) actually, but no worries I was soon shown where to go, and upstairs it was pretty raucous with all the tables full of people. And this was only a Thursday night.

I sat between Nong and Lu zong for a bit, ganbeiing until I needed to table-hop, and managed to avoid having to sing.  Lord knows it must have been 2.30am before I left the place to walk home. I think I would have left the bike had I taken it.

Back to piano practice and bbq with kids

As it was already nearly 5.30am I heated up the last of the bbq duck intestines and had that as a sort of breakfast before sleeping in till the early afternoon. Luckily, the jiaozi that Yangwen had made be bring back yesterday were a suitable lunch for the kids, and avoided the typical fast food delivery that has become the norm here.

Xixi modelling her new Pingguo Haliao shirt while eating yesterday's jiaozi

At 6.30pm I realised it had been a week since I last did any piano so went over to the place I used to practise at by Guanmart. I know some people find going to the gym addictive but I just don't get that, but the feeling of exercising the hands and mind by the ivories does give me a bit of a fix. Even if the piano is pretty badly out of tune, there's something about the physical action of playing it that does it for me. I'm still getting there with Mozart's K304 but even so. I guess my biggest challenge will be learning to read music properly, rather than doing it from memory. It's a bit like my next steps in Chinese. I'm going to have to focus properly as it won't just "come".

Back home I managed to get Xixi to come out with me to get some bbq at Tan's "uncle's" place. He says he's a genuine uncle but Tan disagrees. I don't really know what counts as an uncle any more. But even Leilei joined us after a few minutes as his tummy ache had gone, so for 100 kuai we gorged on pork and beef and sweetcorn, and still had some left to take home. More importantly we had some decent time together.

Tan's "uncle's" bbq place

In the evening it was back to football mode, so I stepped out to the place I was at last night and the same blokes were there, so I sat down with them to watch Ukraine Belgium. For some reason they were drinking beer incredibly slowly. Literally incredibly, like I've never experienced before here. And I was quite in the mood for a couple. But you can't really do much about it here as you always drink a mouthful at the same time. So by the end of the (rather boring) match I was as sober as a judge, and couldn't leave to go elsewhere as it was heaving it down. Well we stayed 20 minutes but it wasn't going to let up so one of the blokes just got in his car and I told the last bloke there that I'd walk back as it was only water, and said maybe we could meet back up for the England match Sunday night. If we do I'll make an effort to pay for it for once. Back home of course I couldn't sleep so watched Czechia v Türkiye and found I'd been mispronouncing both countries since they became known as they are now. Mispronouncing being a bit of a common issue with me, I'm told.

Waiting in vain for the rain to deplane (ok it doesn't make sense but it rhymes)