Unexpected outside evening meal then inside then empty KTV

Up at a rude 9am to find a missed call from Awl at 8am. So I'd had about seven hours' sleep but it didn't feel like it as I was suffering more from my cold and now had a hangover. Blimey, all these years and I still don't know the word for "hangover". It's almost something to be proud of you don't tend to get them if you stick to beer. Ok for future reference it's 宿醉.

I forced myself to go out and get some jiaozi at midday then picked up some more jing jiu and orange juice from Guanmart. Not that I really wanted orange juice but rather it came with a free fruit holder I think. Or at least something to let the water rinse away from. Back home I very much intended to have some more kip and that was my justification for a couple of swigs of the jing jiu. It got to nearly 5pm and I was about to drop off as I was doing Tan's tax return, when I realised Zheng was playing in the Australian Open final. As we'd watched the semi with Boss Zhou, I decided to ping A Wu to see if he was watching it. I'm not really sure why I asked as I was about to sleep. He said he wasn't, and asked if anyone had invited me to eat and I said no, and that I had a cold. So he chastised me for not wearing enough clothes then told me to go to Boss Zhou's to eat.

Well sod it, there were family in the house including the little 3 year old so it was quite noisy. So I grabbed a shower and a coffee and walked over in an effort to wake up. But no-one was in Boss Zhou's place. I called A Wu and he sent a location which was another 5 minutes walk away. Why he didn't send this in the first place is a question not really worth asking. Well I'd picked up 4 jin of long yan from Thailand so at least I would have a gift, and ended up walking down to the end of a road to find about 5 tables full of people eating, like it was quite a big do.

I was introduced to the boss and handed over the long yan and then settled next to A Wu before devouring some lovely nosh as I hadn't realised how hungry I was. I hardly recognised anyone, but of course it was a very friendly affair. After 15 minutes a car turned up with beer and baijiu, and 15 minutes later again I'd ganbeid most of the men there. A Wu and I then went inside to another table with mostly women and started to play mo pai. I hope one day I'll properly understand the rules but I just accepted their word as to how many glasses we had to drink after most rounds.

Playing mo pai and mostly losing

It was like this pretty much all the time...

A little later Boss Zhou himself turned up so more ganbeiing ensued. I was getting really tired by now, but A Wu had said we were going to sing song in a bit. I really wasn't up for this but I know Boss Zhou owns the place so it may seem rude not to go. So some time after 11pm Boss Zhou, A Wu, and I walked over and went to an empty room on the 4th floor, and almost immediately two young ladies joined us. I guessed they were some sort of "ushers" and it felt like more objectification. I pinged Xiao Nong, who just happened to be in the same building and she came up for a couple of glasses. Then I went down with her to her room which only had two other blokes in and nobody was singing. In fact the whole place seemed pretty empty as we walked past other rooms in the corridor. Weird for a Saturday night and it wasn't exactly early.

When I went back upstairs to Boss Zhou's room I expected it to be busier but no-one else had turned up. It was the flattest KTV experience I've ever had. Around 1.30am I must have made my excuses and left, and walked home almost a zombie, and did my usual trick of pouring a beer that would not see my mouth.

Big music meal with Nong and Huang Lei and Li Kun and many other friends

A couple of days ago my friend Nong had invited me to go to a "beat" meal, and even sent me a personalised invitation (well it was digital so not that special), and I knew it would be this evening. So I was pissed off to wake up early feeling pretty shite. I resolved that I would make it though so late morning I walked to the yumi tang place again to have a very early lunch. The walk did me good, though it's still bitterly cold here. I finished my meal with a bit of jing jiu which I've been told multiple times contains medicinal elements. But it also contains alcohol and I knew if I was going to be up for tonight I'd need a hefty siesta.

Personalised invitation to the music meal

So back home I got ready to sleep before realising I'd forgotten to get bin bags. Bin bags. What a trivial thing to have to get but here it's the chance of a conversation and indeed on the second shop I hit I showed the bloke the last bag I had and asked if he had any the same size and of course he danced to the back of the shop to return with exactly what I wanted for 12 kuai. Back home after a tad more jing jiu I did indeed manage to get some kip after confirming with Huang Lei that Xiao Nong had invited me...he kindly said that if I didn't have an invitation that he'd invite me.

The pathetic fun of buying bin bags

Up at a refreshing 5pm I grabbed a shower and at 5.50pm Nong sent me the location and I turned up around 6.15pm to an outside space with about 12 tables full of food and people and of course a stage at the back (or front depending on how you look at it). Oh dear...that stage meant they would want me on it later....

Well it was another cracking meal and I saw Huang Lei and Li Kun turn up. I'm slightly surprised Li Kun hadn't already invited me or at least told me about it. But he wasn't surprised to see me anyway. Looking around I saw faces I knew on nearly every table. I probably knew about 15% of those in attendance and it really made a big difference from those other anonymous meals I've attended. The 1513 beer was poured aplenty as was the bai jiu, and before long I was table-hopping as you do.

I guess because I'm not feeling too well I got a bit light-headed on the 2.5% brew, but when I was asked to get on stage I was sober enough to politely refuse. But then I thought about who pays for these meals. There must have been over 100 people, like a small wedding, and I was there enjoying myself at someone's expense. So after the live music started (another aspect of the entertainment), and after a few more ganbeis I refused to refuse when asked again.

Where we ate and drank and sang

Blimey I've picked up a guitar in front of people I don't know before, but it's always been a limited number of people and generally in a private room. Now I was outside with 100+ onlookers of whom I knew maybe 20. But sod it, I did The Boxer and Sound of Silence from memory, although I think I repeated one of the verses as my phone turned off its screen part way through the first one. I guess no-one noticed anyway. I think that's all I did but I'm not totally sure. I must have been rather tipsy to have got up in front of so many people in the first place but I guess I could see it as practice for the Bangxu "festival" in a couple of weeks.

I didn't spend too much more time socialising after that if my memory serves me correctly, and once home at getting on for 1am did the robotic thing of pouring myself a beer and not touching it.

Unexpected Li Kun lunch before meal at "Chamber of Commerce"

Well finally I got a decent amount of sleep thanks to being ill and not being too silly last night. Around 10am I noticed that Li Kun had "tickled" me last night at 12:45 too. No doubt to go for a drink so I'm glad I'd gone to bed. But I thought I should at least invite him for lunch so pinged him and he had a go at me for going to bed so early last night.... But yes he said he'd finish his shift at 12pm so I said I'd come over then. 

I plugged in the dian dong che shortly after 11am. I'll no longer plug it in overnight as it has a tendency to set the alarm off and wake everyone up. And of course half an hour later it went off but at least I could turn it off from the house to avoid annoying too many people for too long. I grabbed a shower before needing to leave but damn and blast if I couldn't hear it going off again while I had shampoo in my hair. Well it made for a shorter shower than I'd hoped for and I wasn't dry when I ran out to turn it off again only to see that Jiuma was lying on the sofa watching tv. Well...I ran back to the bathroom to grab my clothes and was freezing as got back to my room. I unguiltily put the heater I brought on full blast for a few minutes to minimise my discomfort as quickly robed.

At 11.49 Li Kun said I could come over then. Fair enough I was a bit peckish. So at 12.00 I unplugged the dian dong che and got there 5 minutes later. He beckoned me to sit down. What? Oh, apparently someone was coming to pick us up. Well so much for going for some simple noodles.... I recognised the driver by his face and voice but that was it, and we drove up to the government place to the north of the guangchang where we picked up a couple more people including 唐海洋 whom I met on the trip to Tiandong a couple of months ago and is a colleague/partner of Li Kun.

It transpired that we were going to Pingguo Lu, the first time for me in a few years. We arrived 20 minutes later after picking up someone else and got off at at Sichuan restaurant. When we got to the room there were already about 6 other people, mostly ladies, and I realised this event must have been planned. The meal was great, as was the company, even if I had great difficulty following their local Mandarin dialect. Nothing other than tea was imbibed and I was rather grateful for that as was not planning a siesta.

Lovely impromptu meal

We said thanks to the owner, who'd been living here for 29 years so beats me hands down, then drove back to Li Kun's studio. So much for working this afternoon. We ended up playing a card game that at first I didn't understand at all but then got to really appreciate. There's four of you and you get 13 cards each. Then the person with the 2 of diamonds must lead, and can either put that, or 2 2s or basically any poker hand including that card. The next player must improve on that hand or pass. If you were the last person to go and no-one else can go you start again by putting down whatever you want. The idea is to get rid of all your cards and when someone does the others have to drink one glass for each three cards they have left in their hands. At least that's what I gathered...it's a bit more nuanced than that.

Li Kun reckons it's called suo hu in English but I have my doubts

I played the first few games with 唐海洋 helping me and lost badly. But I was finally getting it and started playing by myself and won! I mentioned that as soon as she stopped helping me was when I won and they all seemed to think that was much funnier than it really was. I still don't really get it as it seems if someone puts down a run on 3.4.5.6.7 you can cover it with a 3&2. I'll definitely investigate the rules more though as it seems like a great mix of poker and shithead.

I'd love to understand how the scores were worked out

A Wu had reminded me to go to meet Boss Zhou at the "Chamber of Commerce", so I thought I'd better get back at 4pm to grab a shower and find some decent clothes...could this be some government thing? Well we met outside my place at getting on for 6pm and he didn't have his car so we walked to Boss Zhou's place by the KTV place as we've been to many a time. We stopped off to get some cherries first, and A Wu explained (for the first time) that Boss Zhou actually owned the KTV place. Ah...guai bu de we often go there!

So it ended up that the "Chamber of Commerce" was simply Boss Zhou's place and as usual there was a table of food waiting for us. Boss Zhou was as usual happy to see me and sat next to me and we spent at least 20 minutes eating before there was even a peep of any beer or wine. But it certainly came. And it was of course very enjoyable as we watched Zheng beat Yastremska in a brilliant match. We were quite transfixed for a lot of it, except for when ganbeiing. After the match came cai ma of course, then we watched the last half an hour of South Korea v Malaysia in the Asian cup and saw a very unlikely 3-3 draw with a late goal from the Malaysians who probably didn't deserve it.

Great food in Boss Zhou's "Chamber of Commerce"

Of course I was flagging so A Wu and I left 11pmish. We walked back but came upon a friend drinking tea in his place and of course stopped there for a few minutes but I insisted on drinking water in case the tea was caffeinated. I'd planned on an early night and got back on foot soon after 11pm and only had a single beer before the earliest night this year.

Back to Yumi tang and another bite with A Wu and friends

Finally a normalish time of getting up around 8am. I tried to sleep in but my cough wouldn't let me so as I was ill I decided to have a "proper" breakfast of pao mian, and wolfed every last bit down. I could hear Jiuma and Tan's brother talking/shouting in the living room so didn't emerge till gone 11am when I'd heard them leave. The place stank of smoke of course, so I decided I'd go for a longish walk after wrapping up appropriately. I'd thought to bring my fingerless gloves, and they really made sense, but I noticed almost no-one else wore gloves of any description. Sure, the bike drivers all had built-in gauntlets but other than that, despite layers upon layers of clothes, no gloves. There must be a reason for it and I'll try to find it out.

I walked all round the shop and it just felt more and more normal. I happened upon our favourite yumi tang place and as it was now getting on for 1pm decided to ask if they had any and indeed they did. So one of those and a portion of fried egg with greens was just perfect at that time. But there was only one other table being used at this time. I guess a combination of the weather and the convenience of deliveries meant few people would need to come in person. Well I had, and the manager recognised me and said "hao jiu bu jian" as it had been getting on for five years.

An old favourite for the kids and me...yumi tang

So after my little adrenalin buzz I popped into the Zhong Xin supermarket for the first time in many a year to pick up some yoghurt and more noodles. One of the assistants pointed at a can of German beer as if to suggest it to me and I told her it was too strong. The she burst into conversation about how "standard" my Mandarin was and I told her I'd been coming for over 20 years so had just picked it up. But it was still another little buzz to have a random conversation like that.

Back home I took some medicine for my cough and a little alcohol medicine for my cold and had a brief chat with Awl till I managed some shut-eye around 5pm for an hour or so. Then A Wu pinged me at 9.30pm to go for a drink with friends. I didn't massively feel like it but managed a beer to get me more in the mood and biked it to the same place as the other day where there were a few blokes drinking 5% German beer. It really tasted too strong but I had to do a few ganbeis and felt the effect, so managed to move on to the local stuff for a while.

Li Mingda turned up a bit later but I didn't recognise him which was embarrassing as A Wu is his dad and we'd met up in the summer. I said it was due to his huge square glasses which was true to some extent. Well he, as well as the others, continued to smoke and drink as if it was going out of fashion. I managed to survive at cai ma but at getting on for midnight was flagging badly, so Li Mingda led me out with his arm over my shoulders like we were old buddies, and I said we'd meet again as I slowly took the dian dong che home.

Li Mingda second from left...I should have recognised him...

I poured a beer almost without thinking about it but had no intention to drink it. I noticed someone trying to call me at 12.45 but just couldn't be bothered to answer and fell asleep as I saw them calling me again.

Cracking meal with Huang Lei's boss and friends

Got up at a decent 12:07pm and went for a well-needed portion of jiaozi again. I should really branch out but it's just the right size and hits the point. Uncle Yellow had pinged me two minutes before I got up to ask if I was free this evening. Indeed I was so he said he'd be in contact later in the afternoon. But as the afternoon wore on I felt worse and worse. I'd had a bit of a cough but now was just feeling in general bad, and I know the booze last night/this morning hadn't helped.

Ah my lovely jiaozi...

So I wasn't tempted to imbibe at all. But Uncle Yellow pinged me a location to go and eat at 6.30pm so I knew that that would mean drinking again. So there was one thing for it...for the third day in a row I managed the dumbbell exercises - this time on the legs and abs and it bloody hurt. I forced myself till the end and didn't feel any better when it was done, other than mentally glad that I'd forced myself. By now it was getting on for 6pm so I grabbed a shower but still didn't really feel like going. Even after forcing a small 3.3% beer down me I thought twice about going, but I didn't know who would be there and didn't want to upset Uncle Yellow so got on the bike and turned up at the shop only 15 minutes late.

Well the location he'd sent me was a shop, and I confirmed with the shop owner. She was very complimentary about my Mandarin and while we were talking a bloke turned up and had heard me mention Uncle Yellow's real name Huang Lei. He said he was also going there, so I'd go with him. It was actually on the other side of the building and we'd need to take a lift up, but once there I realised I hadn't brought anything so went back round to the shop which of course sold fruit and bought a nice box of wrapped oranges for 35 kuai. I went back to the lift but the bloke said he was waiting for another bloke now and just to go up. But of course the lift needed a card, which I explained to him, and he came inside and of course there was a card hanging up above the place to scan it. So much for security.

Up at the 7th floor I was glad to see both women and men milling around. The food hadn't been served so I wasn't late, but was glad I'd made the effort to bring the oranges as most others had too. It transpired it was Huang Lei's (for I should use his proper name) boss's meal, and he'd invited a number of the people who work for him. I'd not met him before and he bade me sit down beside him at the big round table which was to be for the men, while the womenfolk had their oblong table on the other side of the room where there was no smoking.

Meal at Huang Lei's boss's place

Well I was still feeling shit and could barely stomach any of the food, and wasn't looking forward to the beer. But Huang Lei was there so as one of the only three beer drinkers I did my best and after 10 minutes of eating started ganbeiing as you do. It took about five glasses before I felt confident enough that I would make it through, and it ended up being a really cool evening. Yes it was mostly blokes, but they were all in the right mood and of course all wanted to ganbei with me. Eventually I stood up and ganbeid with the boss's wife, which was taken as a nice gesture as so far it had all been the blokes. Then, predictably, we descended into cai ma and I gave a reasonable account of myself.

There were many red faces from the baijiu drinking blokes, but no-one got shitfaced and I stayed a while even after Huang Lei left with his younger son. Apparently we were to go to some music place on Friday with Xiao Nong. Cool. When I was ready to go at getting on for 11pm Huang Lei's boss personally escorted me down in the lift and gave me a big handshake to thank me for coming. But no...thank you for inviting me! Of course we said we'd meet up again soon but who know when or if that will happen.

Tan's brother and Jiuma were home when I got back but as I wasn't feeling great I went straight to bed for perhaps the first pre-midnight sleep this year.

Meal with Huang and KTV before late night

Well I was awake at a half decent time and decided to do another stint of dumbbell exercises...this time focusing on the arms. A friend pinged me to meet up during this so I thought why not but finished the exercises first.

I'd had a portion of jiaozi after the exercise as really felt I needed to consume more than I have been, but by 6pm I was starving again. At 7pm I went to see racist Huang who was happy to see me and we shared some glasses of tea so I suggested having a bite and he said sure, but at 8pm. I couldn't wait that long so at 7.30pm I told him I'd be back in half an hour and went home to devour the rest of the monkey nuts and three quail eggs.

I got back to Huang's Beihai place and had a really nice meal with him and his family and colleagues. Nice because there was nothing special about it - just a simple huoguo and decent company. I was pretty restrained with three bottles of beer in the 80 minutes I was there, as they drank their baijiu. A friend had pinged me to say their friend had invited me to go to sing song. Well a friend of a friend is a friend I suppose, but I'm not sure how they invited me if they didn't know me. Anyway, at 9pm I was told to go over but in the end I didn't leave till nearly 10pm.

Pleasant huoguo with Huang and workers

Huang and his workers told me not to take the dian dong che to the KTV place as there were police doing breathalysers. I thought this was unlikely but out of respect took their advice and left on foot. As it was there were indeed many police stopping vehicles just outside the KTV place so I was pretty glad as I might have imbibed a little V&C before going to Huang's as well. Not that I would have been stopped in all likelihood due to the colour of my skin.

I turned up at the KTV room to find I was only the 3rd person! So much for being told to hurry up! The birthday boy was very happy I was there though and we shared a few ganbeis for a few minutes until a load of women turned up. Gosh I try not to be too gender-aware but it's so much nicer at a KTV place with mostly women (and one little kid). It was genuinely nice to chat with them and then we started playing cai ma as gradually more people (including blokes) arrived. I didn't get too tipsy though as held my own at cai ma despite playing as a team. Although I had planned on getting back at 10pm (haha) it was 1.30am in the end and was about to have a chat with the lads when I fell fast asleep.

Until 6am that was. For some reason I was wide awake so Awl called me a bit later and I guess because I was in holiday mode I finished the V&C I'd poured earlier and then maybe had another or two before finally getting to sleep properly at 8am.

Exercise at last

So much for going out at 10am as A Wu had mentioned last night, though I wasn't going to plan my day around a drunken suggestion. However, I had no other plans so noticed that the 49ers v Packers game was on so found a decent stream and realised other than ping pong I'd done no exercise for over a week so managed to get my way through a dumbbell session during the second half.

After a shower and some nuts and a yoghurt I walked through the cold drizzle down to A Xia's shop to pick up two pairs of leggings for Tan and drop off a box of Naproxen as is becoming normal for each trip. On the way I picked up some local dried beef as I realised I'd not had a proper meal and should really try to bulk up after doing the weights.

Awl rang WhatsApp just as I got home but although my phone showed the call I guess the actual answering or voice protocol that is used is currently blocked. But my laptop was still connected to the VPN so at least I could answer on that. Annoyingly I found the expensive beef (37 kuai for 102g) was many tiny bits of meat each individually wrapped in truly typical style, and they were slightly too spicy for my liking. But hey, it's protein. Luckily I'd left over some protein powder and creatine from last summer so I had that as well. The chat with Awl descended into a couple of beers for me, so after the call and a couple more I finally managed a siesta around 5.30-7pm.

Strangely I'd not been invited out and it was a weekend. I wasn't complaining though, and at 9.30pm went to pick up my cleaned Converse, and on the way back popped into the local medicine shop where they were drinking tea and beckoned me in when they saw me passing. We were talking about Bangxu as one of the women was from there. She mentioned a festival that was to take place next month. I asked if it was the same one Lin Hong had conscripted me into and indeed it was. Oh dear. Tan had called earlier and said it was a massive event for all of Guangxi, and I would be singing in the equivalent of Trafalgar Square to "thousands". Now Tan is one to exaggerate at times but now I was really nervous. Erjie has been practising dancing for months for this event and I'm going to be on the agenda now too.

Other than that it was a nice chinwag for half an hour or so, and I quite enjoyed the segments of oranges they put in warm water as they don't tend to like consuming cold stuff when the weather is too. I popped opposite to pick up some bin bags and beer and got home where a bit later had a chat and a quiz with the lads and finished off the spicy beef. I'd not had a proper meal all day and got to sleep well after 2.30am.

Xin Pingguo!

Bloody up at 7am and tried in vain to sleep in but my body was not really having it so got out of bed at 10 wishing I'd made the effort to go to ping pong. At least it should have been be easy to get a siesta after three Li Quans after a light lunch of monkey nuts and a couple of quail eggs.

But at 2.30pm A Wu called me. Apparently there was an event on to do with "New Pingguo" at the Ping Lu International Hotel, and did I want to go? I wanted to sleep, but thought that maybe the experience shouldn't be missed although I had no idea what to expect. So I said to give me time to grab a shower...oh and what time did it start? 2.30pm. It had already started.

But I took a shower anyway and a coffee to perk me up, and arranged to meet A Wu 45 minutes later outside our place. We turned up one hour fashionably late to a huge ballroom that could have accommodated a large wedding. In fact it looked just like a large wedding, except there were ladies dancing on the stage in local clothing. Every table (and there were dozens of them) had two bottles of red wine and plates of sunflower seeds and monkey nuts. But looking around I could see that not a single bottle had been opened. Then some blokes came around and put two cans of beer on each table (two cans for 10 people?), but again, not one was opened.

Finding out it's quite a big event...

Then some pretty lady got up on stage and I realised my Mandarin was pretty poor as I couldn't catch most of what she said, but she was joined by the bloke I should know the name of as he's often at Li Kun's, and seems to do the the MC work for the big events here. I understood that the event was sponsored by several local companies, and there were short video clips of many of them saying nice things about Pingguo. Then came a sort of competition. You had to scan a QR code on the big screen but try as we might we couldn't. I didn't really care to go up to the stage to scan the code as I wouldn't have known what to do with it, but it seemed you could win money if you did. Then a similar thing happened where after you scan the code you needed to shake your phone and the top few people after a minute would also win a prize. It was quite amusing to see people of all ages shaking their arms up and down in this manner.

Shaking phones in hope of winning a prize

Then came the draw. It seemed each company had prizes for 1 to 10 people, and each had to be drawn out of a box. This was fine for a while, and we clapped the winners, but after half an hour got slightly tedious. Still no-one had opened any of the booze. Then the draw stopped and I saw Li Kun. He got up on stage with some drummers and performed a nice piece with his flute for a few minutes, then when finished it was back to the draw again. It was drawn out as every winner had to come on stage. I realised that there was an agenda and it looked like the last item would be at 5.30pm, but when I checked with A Wu I saw we were running an hour late. Blimey I was getting really hungry and could do with a beer but it wasn't even 5pm.

Li Kun on flute with a band of mainly drummers

Finally I noticed the blokes on one table opening a couple of beers, but I thought better of doing the same on our table because I didn't want the people to think the English were too keen. Presently some huoguo saucepans were brought to the tables along with proper food to eat. It still took 20 minutes before we started though as no-one seemed to want to be the first person to do so. But at 5.30pm we tucked in and as usual spent 10 minutes eating before the first beer was opened. And indeed it was like an avalanche after that. The woman to my left broke the ice by commenting that I used my left hand for chopsticks and I apologised in rather too much of a British way for getting in her way and explained that I was trying to learn to use my right hand but it was too slow and the food was too good.

Finally the food and drink started

Then the table hopping started, and I was glad it was only 2.5% beer. Yes I could have chosen red wine or baijiu but I'm glad I didn't. A Wu seemed to know people on most tables so of course I had to ganbei with them. By now we were in fully Guangxi swing and barely noticed that the draw was still going on in the background. But then some older women came on stage in very traditional Guangxi style dress, and I said we'd better sit and watch and listen to them. It was a nice 5 minute set and we applauded dutifully. But then they descended from the stage and stood around one of the tables in the front and started singing another song for a couple of minutes, after which all at the table had to ganbei. They then moved to another table, then another and I knew before long they'd be at ours. So more ganbeis were had until they indeed did turn up at our table and I didn't feel as embarrassed as I might have done.

Traditional Guangxi women singers going round the tables

Then one of the blokes wanted to cai ma with me, which led to a sort of chain reaction of other people wanting to do the same. I was ok with it but made many an excuse to go to the loo to have a short break. Finally at around 10pm I left with A Wu to go and find his wife and kids in the zhong xin supermarket. But it was bloody freezing even though I had three layers on, so we walked to my place where I picked up my thick coat. A Wu had ordered a didi che but somehow screwed up so shouted at a san lun che, which took us to the centre where we found the kids and let them play on the crappy grabbing machines until they turned off the electricity at 10.30pm.

I put my coat around A Wu's daughter and her cousin till their mums came with their own coats

After a bit of a faff getting the ladies and kids a taxi to get them back, A Wu once again had an issue getting a didi che so once again we got a san lun che. So much for them not existing anymore. We went to the usual KTV near Boss Zhou's and I really couldn't be bothered as indeed there were 20 pissed blokes and one woman. But I had to play the game, and someone put on Pengyou and a microphone was thrust into my hands. Well, the MC was there, and he's at least a semi-professional singer, and he seemed to really like my rendition!

But I was flagging and couldn't really be bothered with all the ganbeiing, but I managed a bowl of noodles then I think A Wu was also slightly bored with the company so we left, but to go to another place. For the third time in a row we took a san lun che to a place north of the guangchang I'd been to in November last year. It was just a small office with about four blokes and more food and beer. It was more than I could stand but I stood on ceremony and held out for getting on for an hour, when we both finally left, this time for once in a didi che. I'd made it till 1.30am and was fast asleep very soon after 2am.

Another very social day

Finally I got a half decent sleep and woke up at 11.20, which actually was only about 6 hours sleep but beats yesterday. I had messages to meet people I'd met in the last couple of days and thought I'd just ignore them. But I had a change of heart when I thought that it might mean something to them to have me around. So I pinged the bloke from last week after he sent me a weizhi and told him I'd be around soon. Well "soon" meant I'd have a couple of beers as it was gone lunchtime and somehow this justified it.

I was too scared to charge up the dian dong che last night as the last time I did it the alarm must have gone off again as someone had removed the charger. This is so embarrassing. So I put it on to charge about 1pm and walked the 15 minutes to this bloke's shop. I'd forgotten who he was but remembered the name, and he was sitting in a shop that sold front doors and the modern locks that have face/finger recognition. Of course he was drinking tea with a couple of other blokes and we broke into conversations on various topics which I coped with with various levels of success. I'm aware you have to go with the flow and not try to catch every single word. But sometimes I find there is no flow to go with, so I am starting to create my own flow in these cases, based on what I've understood so far. It sometimes works quite successfully but on some rare occasions I get odd looks as I've completely changed the topic.

Tea and nuts with a mate from last night and two other blokes

I'd actually consider one if we didn't already have a porch

After and hour or so I told them quite honestly someone else had requested my company, and indeed I had a missed call from him, so I said I'd be there shortly. It was another 20 minutes, going back the way I came to the guangchang and passed Chairman Mao hill. Like most of my walks here it was quite an overload of the sense. But this time noticeably less so. I guess the more time I stay here the less it will feel foreign. In a way that would not be a good thing as I like the buzz. But the diminution of the buzziness would be a fair price to pay to be here for a much longer time.

I thought it was one of the three blokes I'd met last summer after a swim and indeed after a video call one of them came down in slippers. He seemed really happy that I'd made the effort to go and see him and we first went to the local shop to get some fags and beer. Well, it was 3pm now so why not?

We went up to the 28th and top floor where his two mates were already drinking. Well one was drinking beer and the other orange juice as he had to work later. The beer drinker burst into applause and laughter. So we had a few drinks and I lost badly at cai ma until nearly an hour later when I got a message from the woman who was drinking red wine with Haiwei and the bosses the other day. She asked me to come to her shop to drink tea. As it wasn't a bloke asking me I reckoned it really did mean tea, so I had an excuse to move on after losing to much cai ma. Of course I couldn't leave immediately so took about 20 minutes before it finally seemed acceptable. I told them I'd have more time over the next few weeks which is probably true.

The three blokes I met after swimming last summer

Nice view of the guangchang from the 28th floor

It was only a 10 minute walk to the alcohol shop and somehow I managed to find the back of it rather than the front, but a woman confirmed it was the right place and I think I somewhat surprised the two managers when I entered from the inside. Now I'm sort of starting to understand what they do here. The sell expensive booze but with a personal service, e.g. drinking tea with customers in the shop, and as I saw the other day - drinking the said alcohol with customers at their place. So it's a little more than simply being a token pretty face. The other woman there asked permission to take photos with me and I'm now used to saying ok but only to share in friend groups.

Presently a large bloke turned up and presented some tea, as if it was some sort of present. One of the ladies started to open it and perform the ceremony that is tea drinking, but she was having a little trouble so the bloke took over in the main seat. I could tell right away from his voice he was no local and indeed he was from Shandong. Over the next two hours or so we just chatted as you do and various people left and turned up as you do. I think the woman who invited me is called Juan, and she had to leave once or twice to deliver some alcohol. I should know the Shandong bloke's name but instead I learnt that he was the "general agent of North Korean coins in the southwestern region" (yeah I had to use an online translation to confirm that). He then sent me 20+ photos of North Korean notes and what looked like commemorative coins. I asked genuinely if there was really a market for these but it turns out there is. He even suggested I could sell some in Europe. I guess I'll do a little research but I'm rather doubtful.

At getting on for 7pm he declared that we were going to eat. Well that was nice of him. I was pretty tired after those afternoon beers, although the tea was definitely caffeinated. But I was also mentally tired after talking with him for so long. Normally I'd find someone like him relatively easy to understand, but the topics of conversation were pretty complex at times and I didn't want to puncture it by the constant looking up of new terms I wouldn't like remember. It transpired he didn't live in Pingguo but was staying a few days in the International Hotel by the guangchang, while his wife and kids lived near Baise. So I got in his BMW and we parked in the hotel carpark, where he presented me with a box of Cheng Jing tea before we walked to the eating places up by the Guangbai Jia supermarket. We chose the one that was the most full and he ordered a huge huoguo as Juan turned up a few minutes later.

But no beer. Oh no, he had bought an expensive bottle of 53% baijiu and by golly I was going to join in. He even said that himself. I told him I could normally manage one thimbleful but he poured me a mini jug of the vile stuff and made me fill my tiny glass after a horrible first ganbei. I thought the 2nd one may be easier but it was much worse and I had my head in my hands for a while until Juan gave me a glass of tea to ease my suffering. Well I was certainly suffering for my meal, which was pretty good except for all the intestines. Finally, by the 4th or 5th glass it stopped burning so hard, but Juan had a phone call and had to leave us to deliver more alcohol, leaving a full glass. So it was agreed I'd finish her glass and he'd finish her jug. Fair enough. I couldn't eat any more but he casually managed to down the rest of the huoguo as we both agreed it was best not to waste anything.

Another big meal

We parted some time after 10pm and I got home actually feeling very sober. Nong had contacted me in a cryptic way which meant I wasn't sure if she wanted to go for a bite or not. But then A Wu pinged me to go for bbq outside our place, which was a much clearer means of saying what to do. So I popped out to see him and his family and a couple of other couples with their kids. One of the ladies was an English teacher but was too embarrassed to use it with me. I contacted Nong again and this time picked her up from near Li Kun's place and we got back to play mo pai and cai ma as you do. I'd bumped into Boss Zhou but totally forgot to go back to him. Then A Wu was on the phone to his Boss Zhou telling us to come over and eat with them. But Nong didn't feel it was appropriate so I ended up taking her to the fast food place we went to the other day and sharing some crap, but to be fair she ordered stuff to takeaway for her niece who was staying over.

Bbq with A Wu and friends/family...being only the penultimate meal of the night

I got back and realised it was 2.30am already. Shit, I'd missed both Boss Zhou's, and A Wu didn't respond to my message so was probably asleep already. So that was the end of the night and for once I was in bed by 3am.

Duck feet by the river then meal with Lu zong's Nanning friends before nearly finishing at Li Kun's

Blimey I got up after three hours' sleep at 7.30am and couldn't get back, so at 9am I went to the old people's leisure centre and spent 90 minutes there sweating out what I'd put in last night. Once again there were shrieks and howls and it was jolly good fun! I've already played ping pong more times in the five days I've been here than the whole seven weeks of the summer.

Back home I grabbed a shower and was suddenly hit by a sort of melancholy. Not that there was anything to be sad about but the last five days have been so full-on and fun and friendly that suddenly to realise I was home alone just felt relatively negative. But luckily I saw that Lu zong had left a message to go to eat tonight at his place in Jiang Bing Lu with a friend who was coming "down" from Nanning. I rather thought he'd be coming "up" from Nanning as it's south of here but thought better than to question this.

With my spirits lifted a little I went for a walk to get some provisions from Guanmart and feeling peckish I then went to the jiaozi place. The area was heaving with teenage kids with suitcases and as I first stopped at Lu zong's water shop I found out the local secondary school was going on holiday for the New Year. So anyway I stayed for a friendly few cups of tea before getting my jiaozi at midday then walking back to where a siesta surely had to be waiting for me.

But it took bloody ages and then a friend pinged me at 3pm to go to drink with some other friends. I really didn't want to be pissed before going to Lu zong's later so explained I needed to sleep, and finally managed 30 minutes before being pinged again and I left at 4.30pm to go to some grassy place by the river on the east side of town. They had cooked some duck feet and snails and made a warming drink out of bai jiu and ginger and sugar. It wasn't totally horrible so I managed to join in for a couple of hours. Rain came and went but it was thankfully warm.

Duck feet and ginger alcohol by the river as you do

At 6.30pm they knew I had to leave so I didn't meet with too much pressure to stay. I got to Lu zong's place by the river by 7pm to meet his Nanning friends. It was another fine evening despite my lack of sleep. There was a lot more new vocab for me as there were many people I didn't really know, which made it all the more tiring. I finally exchanged WeiXin details with a couple of people and headed home at getting on for 11pm.

Meal at Lu zong's place again

Except Li Kun had pinged me to say they were starting to eat at his place so I went there first. He let me pay for the beers and ordered them on my phone; three boxes for 114 kuai wasn't bad, and they were delivered minutes later. I stayed for no longer than an hour as was really flagging now, and was in bed soon after midnight.

Continuing at Li Kun's...

...at least he let me pay for the beer (114 kuai for all that)

For whatever reason I woke up after just over an hour at 1.40am and almost predictably Sisi called me shortly after. Well, sod it, I went over to have a couple of drinks and predictably again she got quite drunk so I had to take her home at nearly 5am. Maybe I should be more sensible. Maybe she should.

Registered again

I suppose I can blame jetlag but I was properly up by 9am so pinged Xiao Mong at the police station to ask if it would be convenient to go to pick up my registration document. Indeed it was, but for some stupid reason I decided to finish the beer I'd barely started about 4 hours previously. Needless to say it wasn't cold or refreshing but hey-ho I'm on holiday right?

So around 10am I drove down to pick it up and I was once again officially here. So getting back I decided to have an early lunch at the jiaozi place where the boss was smiling much more than usual as she bade me wait a few minutes while she cooked some up. Which was fine as I bumped in to Lu zong next door at his water place and we had a nice hug and he said we must meet up in a couple of days.

I spent much of the afternoon trying to get some sleep until at 6.30pm I realised I was starting to get pretty hungry and quail eggs, as nice as they are, are not enough for a grown man. I actually felt I needed some carbs so by 9pm I made a portion of pao mian that I'd bought a couple of months ago that really hit the spot.

For once I was glad not to be invited out. I hadn't really had much of a siesta so I was very tired by 11pm, but sleep was not forthcoming even after a couple of beers, so ended up chatting with the lads on and off till nearly 4.30am.

Nearly successful attempt at registering myself again...and good TT

Somehow awoke at 8am again but this time it seems I was alone in the house. So I managed to go for a drive at 9ish with my dirty Converse but I couldn't find the shoe cleaning shop. Well so what? I had another plan to go to the Police place to register myself and indeed soon after 10am I found it and Xiao Mong on the 2nd floor as I'm now used to. I gave her my last deng ji from barely two months ago and she took photos of it as well as my passport and visa. But it seemed the system was playing up and wouldn't let her complete the registration. I didn't mind, and said she could keep the passport if she wanted but she said she had enough info so she checked that she still had my Weixin and indeed she did and said she'd ping me when it was ready.

So I got back home and made a second attempt to get my dirty Converse cleaned and this time the lady had opened up her shop. But she said due to "holidays" it would take four or five days to get them cleaned. Not that I gave a monkey's but I didn't really know which holiday it was and I should have.

I hadn't really registered it but it was getting up to 20 degrees...very nice!

Back home I was hungry so ended up heating up some of the bbq from last night at about 11.30am. Damn I should have lasted till midday but at 11.50 I had a little V & lemonade as I knew I'd need a siesta. Well it should have come at 2pm but for some reason I went out again just because I could. Finally at gone 4pm despite Mat saying he was about for a chat I slept till getting on for 6pm.

I had nothing to do, and thought about doing some study but eventually 8pm poked its nose at me and I hit on the great idea of going to play ping pong. I pinged Haiwei and he said he was already at the place by the football stadium so I ended up getting there shortly after 8pm. Oh wow it was brilliant of course. I played a few people who were better than me but I started to smash back their smashes and I think I got some approval.

Finally at gone 10pm I left after a good two hours of exercise. Lord knows I need this both physically and mentally. I got home and wolfed down the last of the bbq from last night and realised I had no plans for tonight. No plans that was for about 4 minutes when Li Kun sent a 3 second video of food being prepared at his place. I didn't need a second invitation and told him I'd grab a quick shower first, and ended up getting there at about 11.30pm. It was the usual blokes and although I'd prefer a little female company I couldn't complain as it was free conversation and food and drink.

I got a pretty nice water bottle at Guanmart

Some mates at Li Kun's place as you do...

Of course Sisi pinged me at 12.30am to say she was drinking red wine. I was tempted but stayed with Li Kun and his handsome singer friend also turned up shortly after. Presently most of his friends took their leave so around 1.30am I saw a missed call from Sisi and decided I'd go to see how she was as we finished the last of the beers. She was unfortunately really drunk when I met her and two of her friends. I managed to convince her friends that I'd known her for years (which is true) and that I'd take her back home (much to their gratitude). But it wasn't that easy. I had to hold her steady for getting on for half an hour and was worried that someone would see us and think something untoward. Finally at about 2am she was ok enough to get on the back of my dian dong che to go back to her place. At least I knew it was next to the guangchang. It took another half an hour to get her from the dian dong che to walk home but I knew I'd done the right thing by looking after her. And I remembered to text her worried friend to say that she was home ok.

So back at home at nearly 3am it was almost a normal night. I thought "sod it" and poured a V and lemonade, and got to sleep not too long after. Until bloody 5am when I woke up and am still up now! Somehow I don't think it will be too much of a problem though....

Jiaozi and milk bottles until 10.30pm...and fantastic bbq later

Well yes it was 8am when I got up but I could hear what I thought were people in the front room. I opened the door ajar and saw Erjie and the other women and thought better than to enter in just my boxer shorts. I wasn't feeling particularly sociable so ended up eating a few milk bottle sweets that I'd meant as presents until I heard the ladies leave about an hour later. But Jiuma pinged me out of the blue to ask me to fill up on water. Had she just been in the house too? So anyway I took the nearly empty bottle to fill up and realised this was actually quite good fun. A combination of jetlag and feeling like being on a different planet can make the most mundane of tasks like that.

After doing my water task I decided to go for a walk in relative warmth of around 18 degrees, and happened upon my favourite jiaozi place. Of course the woman wasn't surprised to see me but smiled and her husband got me a proper breakfast portion of them. Fully sated, I knew I'd need a siesta later so got home but the ladies were back milling about. Totally fair enough as I think this is Erjie's house, and it's kind of her to let me use it as if it is mine.

I ended up somehow chatting with Mat and Awl till gone 1pm before crashing out as I'd managed a beer or two. I woke up at 6.30pm and realised I'd totally forgotten to register myself as I am technically obliged to do as soon as I arrive (at least when the police place is open). Oh well it will have to wait till tomorrow. So I ended up chatting with the lads again. So much for immersing myself here. I finished the milk bottle sweets and realised other than the jiaozi at 10.30am that was all I had eaten today. So at gone 10.20pm I popped out to meet racist Huang, who indeed was there sitting at a table alone.

A slightly drunk, but always very friendly, Huang

He was pleased, but not surprised, to see me and immediately grabbed a beer and a portion of some lovely dried mini-fish, which I quaffed down quickly. I only stayed 40 minutes though as he was quite pissed. Still peckish, I parked up at the eating street just outside our place and walked up hoping to meet Tan's "uncle" who runs one of the bbq places but I didn't see him. I was tempted to walk up to a table who were "hellowing" me but decided to go to Tian Yang Po's place as I hadn't gone last year at all and she is, according to Tan, the best bbqer in the province.

And she was open too, so I ordered 5 fei niu and 5 pork whatevers. I'd had two beers with Huang so had enough Dutch courage to ask the table of people next to me if I could join them while I waited for my bbq. Of course that was fine and I ended up chatting with them for the next hour or so. A couple of the blokes were not locals, so we had something in common as we couldn't understand the local lingo. Well I did speak a little to show off of course.... I found the bloke opposite was also a Pingguo Guye (married to a local) so we laughed about that and how Guangxi women were so lihai! Well duly more bbq arrived...far more than we could get through, and then of course mine arrived too. We played a few hands of mo pai which I did rather well at, and consumed quite a few cold Li Quans. It ended up being a very enjoyable evening and of course at getting on to 1am when we decided to leave the bloke opposite me insisted on paying for everything and I got a bagful of bbq goodness to take back home.

Tian Yang Po bbq...

Indeed back home I had another chat with the lads for a while. I feared after waking up at 6.30pm I'd not be able to sleep but beer meant that by 1.30am I hit slumberland like a fairy.

A full-on Sunday with A Wu, Haiwei, Li Kun, and Nong...

Well awak(en?)ing at 5am should have allowed me to get back to sleep pronto but it didn't happen so at 8.30am I made the good decision to go and play ping pong at the old people's leisure centre. But when I got there I found that although there is now another table, there were only two people there playing. But that didn't last long and before three minutes I was being challenged to a game with an elder. I recognised her but I couldn't remember her name, but she remembered me and remembered Tan was from Bangxu so within two minutes everyone else who'd arrived in the room also knew. I did my few words in Bangxu hua to their delight then continued to give a reasonable account of myself at the table. At least until some other bloke turned up. And then more people turned up and I found myself playing doubles and it was fantastical fun. Everyone, including me, was full of smiles as we tried to smash each other to smithereens. Well I know we won the second game at least, but probably lost 10-2 in total but no-one really cared.

I looked at the clock and it was 11.30! I'd been here nearly three hours! I pinged A Wu to say to meet for lunch and he agreed, so I had an excuse to leave. I thought that this place closed at 10am but apparently now it's 12pm. I can't wait to get back. As I've said before I'd love to retire here and be so active as this morning.

I took the dian dong che to A Wu's office and he nonchalantly greeted me by showing his various demijohns of alcohol, the latest of which was black-ant alcohol, and I could see them sinking down then floating back up. I didn't need to ask but he said that this booze was good for keeping your pecker up! As is most booze here apparently...they don't seem to have the concept of brewer's droop!

I left the dian dong che and took his BMW to the usual duck place but there was a long queue so we drove elsewhere to a less queuey place and had a lovely lunch around 12.15 as I'd not bothered getting a shower after ping pong. Afterwards he said we'd go to some boss's place where they'd just killed a cow. I wasn't too up for this but he said we'd first visit a place with a snooker table. This was ok with with me and I said I'd manage for a few minutes.

Duck breast noodles with A Wu for lunch

Well it was a nice modern pool table and I made sure A Wu knew the difference between pool and snooker, and we had a couple of games. I quite like the rules. He potted one of his balls but also the white at the same time, so his potted ball came back out and went on the centre spot. I didn't get two shots but did when he made another foul shot. I ended up winning 2-1 despite the owner turning up and advising me to take shots that I didn't do. I ended up covering the pockets as one does and in the end he had to hand it to me that I knew what I was doing.

Using a gimpish glove to play pool and beat A Wu

I got back to A Wu's office at nearly 2pm and drove home. I was pissed off that I couldn't charge the dian dong che so instead of sleeping I went to the place that replaced my batteries in the summer to find they'd only bloody moved. I asked next door and the two pretty girls confirmed that they'd had to move. I stayed longer than I should have getting an explanation why and although was slightly peeved I gave them a smile which was reciprocated.

So I moved on down a few shops to the place that had fixed the dian dong che a few years ago. The bloke tested my charger and said it was fine, and that I should just choose another place to charge up. Err...ok...I hoped it was that simple, and indeed after a few attempts I finally found one that started charging up. Cool! I poured a celebratory V and zero-sugar lemonade and went straight to bed.

I managed to wake up to the third call from Haiwei, who said to be at his office for 5.30pm in half an hour. I told him in no uncertain terms I required another 40 minutes' sleep then I'd grab a shower and be over about 6pm. As it was, 6pm turned up as I woke up and I pinged him to say I'd be a little later. I got the typical 快点 message but didn't care and grabbed my shower and a wake-up drink, and got on the mostly-charged dian dong che and was there fashionably late before 7pm.

It was a typical boss meal with a token lady who was really pretty but downed a large glass of rouge with one of the bosses and I could see she was a bit the worse for wear. But there wasn't much I could do other than insist on beer rather than wine. I was a bit hungry but there wasn't that much left on the table so I did a few ganbeis to justify myself being there then went to the loo to find the woman there looking a bit sick. I told her to sit down and went to get her a cup of tea as she asked for one. By the time I'd finished my massive wee she was no longer sitting outside but at the tea table with the others ogling her. I guess that is her job to some extent...a semi-geisha to pissed bosses. It feels like objectifying women but I don't have the right to step in and stop it. I feel the best I can do is speak to them like an adult and give them that sort of respect.

One of Tan's ex-colleagues/classmates at the boss meal with Haiwei (in the background)

Nong had pinged me last night at 2.37am to eat with her tonight but I thought nothing of that as she was probably pissed. So when Li Kun asked me to go around I said I would a bit later. But as luck would have it I somehow got in contact with her (i.e. I pinged her) and she apologised that she'd been invited out and had forgotten about my invitation which was exactly what I thought. But after a tad of fuss she said would it be ok to come around to my friend Li Kun? And I said of course no problem.

Well, no problem in theory, but I thought I'd understood I'd pick her up from her house which was really close to Li Kun's, so I got there only to be told she was at the KTV near Boss Zhou's place. So once there I sat down in the waiting area and she came out and said to come into the KTV room. How could I refuse? So I spent about 20 minutes there and then we moved on to another KTV room for more ganbeis before finally leaving after midnight!

Moving on to Li Kun's at gone midnight as you do...

At 12.20 I pinged Li Kun to see if he was still there and indeed he was so we drove on over for a late drink and bite to eat. Nong is pretty social so had no problem joining in with us and that handsome singer-bloke from last time was there too.... So we had another super evening after the false start that was the drunken bosses at Haiwei's office. Afterwards I took Nong to a crappy McDonald's-like place but quite frankly we hadn't had that much to eat and we shared a chicken wrap and some lovely chicken nuggets at 3.30am that you just can't do very easily in the UK (at least not in a small town).

Fast food at 3.30am as you do...

I got home shortly before 4am to see a message from Sisi asking if I was drunk. I replied in the negative (which was positively true) and promptly fell asleep, only to awake at 8am to see a missed call from her at 5.21am! I'm well and truly back in Pingguo and I love it!