Another meal with Lin Hong then with Haiwei's mates

Up at 11am but managed another hour's sleep-in, well it had been another getting-on-for 5am sleep last night. I managed to force some rice and sausage into myself. A bit later in the afternoon Lin Hong kindly invited me to eat with them again at the shop that sells milk. It's becoming a semi-regular thing and I do enjoy the company, even if I'm on the younger side. So I grabbed my typical late shower and walked over again as I still hadn't picked up my dian dong che from Xiao Nong's. At least they don't wait for me to arrive before starting. Lin Hong asked if I wanted a beer and I answered in my usual "I'm not drinking alone", which is a total lie as I'd had two before leaving the house. But she said she'd accompany me, and anyway then the bloke who had cooked got out a bottle of baijiu so that was that.

I thought I'd get another couple of keys cut for Tan before she goes back later in the year...only 6 kuai

Comfortable meal with Lin Hong, A Zhong, and friends, even though I couldn't understand a word of what they were saying

It was a comfortable meal, but I was really conscious that other than when they were talking with me they only spoke the local lingo. I take absolutely no offence whatsoever, but it made we wonder had Tan come from a "normal" place, i.e. they only spoke Mandarin, would my Mandarin be better? It probably would, but I wouldn't trade that for the experiences I've had in Guangxi. Not for a minute. I just wish I could pick up this local tu hua, like I have Mandarin. They all say I can speak it as I have a vocabulary of I'm guessing 27 words. But that is only enough for a party trick really. And Tan says she won't teach me until I've finished learning Mandarin, like that's going to happen.

Haiwei was pinging me to go over to where he was eating and drinking but I had to pick up my dian dong che from Xiao Nong's first. I pinged to see if she was in but she was at a friend's kid's birthday party and invited me over. I said I wouldn't be able to make it for an hour or so though rather would have preferred to go there than wherever Haiwei was where he sounded already quite pissed. But I drove the 15 minutes and found him with a couple of families and I joined in for a while caimaiing with one of the ladies who'd had a bit too much. It was too late to go to where Xiao Nong was (fair enough it was a kiddy's party) so I stayed for an hour or so until the meal came to an end. There was a 16 year-old boy there who spoke pretty good English so I had to spend much of the evening conversing with him.

I just managed to get Haiwei home on the dian dong che, which was really struggling. He invited me in for a couple of beers but I said that honestly I needed to sort out finances at home, and he seemed to understand. It was actually quite serious; Leilei had asked me to send him £75 he had in cash to his Revolut account, and while I'd been going for a walk earlier I'd tried but it had failed. Even with the VPN it didn't work, and when I tried again the bloody app logged me out and needed a passcode to get back in. I've used my fingerprint for years...how was I supposed to remember a passcode? So when I got back that evening I faffed for over an hour requesting a reset of passcode, only to receive an email (after connecting to VPN for gmail), only for the link not to work, or to work but the app then asked me for the passcode again. I was quite livid and wanted to talk to support but apparently you can only do that via the app. I tried to log in to the web app but as I didn't know the passcode it directed me to use the app again. Eventually I managed to get to a screen to take a selfie but after an age while the app decided my face was in the oval, it refused to upload, VPN or not. All in all a bloody frustrating experience.

So I ended up borrowing a grand from Andge in order to pay Xixi's tutor for the 2 weeks I'd missed. And now I face the prospect of having to convert some crypto to fiat again but I'll try to sort that tomorrow.... Needless to say I had a couple of beers during the experience.

Family meal with Li Kun's elder brother plus two more

Up at not long before lunchtime and although I didn't feel like eating anything I forced down a couple of biscuits and didn't feel like forcing down any beer. By 5pm I decided to invite Li Kun to eat but he said to come over with him as he was going to his elder brother's place, so fair enough, rather than taking up his invitation to pick me up I said I'd go to his place, which meant I could pick up some longyan fruit on the way as I was walking as my dian dong che was still at Xiao Nong's.

We all got in his 4x4 and drove to well beyond the train station to his brother's house. I'm so glad that over the years the percentage of boss meals has gone from 80 to about 20 and the family meals from 20 to 80. This was another fun one with at least three generations. I was reasonably slow on the beer too, without any caima. At 6.30pm Lu zong pinged me to ask me out to his bar at 9pm so as I had nothing else on I agreed. We finished the very pleasant meal and Li Kun wisely let his wife drive us back. Well, back being going to Jiang Bin Lu as I'd asked Lu zong if I could bring a mate and of course I could.

Li Kun's second daughter at the family meal but I don't know where the others have gone

But when we got out of the car instead of heading straight to the bar we went to a music shop where a bloke was sitting outside playing guitar and singing. Now I've had quite enough of that over the last month or so but for once I wasn't asked to perform. He finished his piece then we all went inside. It was a new place for teaching music and seemed pretty well equipped, except for pianos that is. We ended up chatting for a few minutes as one does, before finally going to Lu zong's place.

As per usual there were a few blokes there and maybe one woman. Lu zong had ordered plenty of bbq which even after the last meal was delicious. It's not like I'll have much more chance to eat this. The chopped pig penis was particularly nice and had a good texture. Li Kun was well-received by all and was laughing a lot so that must have been a good thing. A couple of the blokes who turned up later were software developers apparently, also working with Java, so we had something technical to talk about which is a rare occurrence here, but appreciated. I wonder if there really could be an opportunity to work in an environment with a Chinese technical team.

Ye xiao at Lu zong's bar in Jiang Bin Lu

Some tofu and chopped pig penis as you do

At 11pm Fen called me to go for a drink with her and some friends at a mate's house. As it was nearly my last night I was tempted but it would have been rude to leave Lu zong's at this time so I told her I tried to make it later. But she said she was nearly drunk (a Chinese term for "nearly very drunk") and left some shouty voice messages to hurry up! Finally, after copious ganbeis nearly an hour later I left the place with Li Kun after giving a mighty hug to Lu zong. I asked Li Kun to sort out a didi che to where Fen was and realised it was literally miles away. I was tempted to invite him but at around midnight thought he'd better get back to family.

Indeed it took a good 10 minutes to get there, and it was a typical residence place with multiple tower blocks. I knew I was looking for number 9 but I couldn't find it so Fen came to look for me on her dian dong che. It took much longer than it should have done, possibly because we'd both had a couple. But eventually she turned up and we were both just outside the correct block. So up to the 12th floor or whatever to find 6 other people around a table drinking sweet red alcohol. Not exactly what I needed, but as there were 3 women I didn't have to caima at all. I recognised one of her friends, and they were all a friendly bunch.

Third meal of the night...

I stayed over an hour till well after 1.15am, after which it was determined the evening would end, and I realised I was still miles from home. But luckily Fen had her dian dong che with her. I said I would drive but she said I wouldn't and I didn't have much of an argument. It did take a good 15 minutes but it was warm...no coats any more. I breathed in the late Pingguo air for what will be nearly the last time this sojourn. She dropped me off but as much as I should have got some sleep that didn't have till well after 4am yet again.

Meal with Lin Hong and then with Pingguo's number 2 apparently

Somehow woke up at 11.30am to find I'd done my trick of pouring a glass of beer when I got home earlier this morning and not drinking it. It wasn't too hard to fall back to sleep till 1.30pm. I did feel a bit crap so forced down a couple of glasses of the hair of the dog and it sort of did the trick.

A Zhong called to say to go and eat with them a bit later which meant my evening meal was sorted, and nearer the time both him and Lin Hong sent me the location of where I'd eaten with them in November, so I grabbed a shower and walked on over as I'd left my dian dong che at Xiao Nong's last night. It was a lovely friendly meal as usual and I managed a few beers with some of the blokes before A Wu asked if I'd eaten and I answered in the positive but it still meant I was invited. At 7.15pm I said I'd go over but it was opposite the new Li Jia He Xian hotel well north of the guangchang and it was gone 8pm by the time I'd walked there. I'd have taken a san lun che if I'd seen one but it was good to have a break from the beer.

Someone came to fetch me and we went to the second floor of a new alcohol shop. I really couldn't eat much more but chicken breast was put into my bowl of course. It seemed to be some sort of business-related meal and I played my part as A Wu's foreign friend which was fine. Boss Zhou was there for a while but then disappeared. Then a lady in her 50s turned up in rather more formal attire than I am used to here. We all stood up to gan bei her and A Wu whispered to me that she was Pingguo's number 2 person. I take that with a pinch of salt, and a glass of beer as everyone else was drinking red wine and baijiu. Interestingly, she smoked those thin cigarettes.

A Wu offering a light to Pingguo's no. 2

The evening descended into some cai ma where I did rather well until Fen pinged me to meet up which I used as an excuse to go. But with that everyone decided it was time to go too.... So met up with Fen for a while until I realised I'd not had much sleep in the last few days and made sure I got some.

Second day of Bangxu festival

Jeez, at 6.30am Lin Hong called me and it was all I could do to pick up. Apparently I had to go over to hers shortly to be picked up for Bangxu. I somehow managed a shower and then A Zhong called me to ask where I was and I said I was on my way, and to be fair I got there just as he turned up with Lin Hong and the other friend who was one of the main comperes.

Well if yesterday was a full day this was in some ways fuller. But when we got to Bangxu it was the same old game of waiting around. I've done this so much in France but never in the UK. We're probably too efficient. Maybe we got there early so we could park the car. Fair enough. I did another tour of the village and there was even more cooking going on. It was getting on for 9am so A Zhong took me to the same place as yesterday for breakfast and this time I had a soupy fen rather than the flaccid penis-like one.

Dajie top left and Erjie 3rd on bottom having a photo opportunity...and yes I was grabbed to be in the next few...

A procession of hundreds of Bangxu ladies in traditional garb. I think there were literally more people in the procession than watching

I knew that today I wouldn't be one of the hosts; they wanted to let the young people do most of that. But I did have to sing The Boxer as one of the later events. So I was willing to have a couple of beers with lunch but today nothing turned up. We ate around one of the many outdoor tables that would be used for the main "evening" meal at 4pm in 3h30. Then I went to have tea at the same place as yesterday but some bloke said we'd go to a "proper" place to drink. This ended up being at the back of a general store, where the boss had a proper tea table and we enjoyed some pu er cha as you do. It was a slightly difficult conversation as I didn't know the bloke but pleasant all the same. I asked him if the tea had caffeine in it and unlike other people, he said nearly all tea had caffeine in it. I was quite grateful as was starting to flake, and went to excuse myself but he insisted on giving me a box of tea and a disk of sheng pu er cha.

I walked over to Waipo's old house and sat in the most comfortable chair I could find. I wanted to grab 40 winks but Erjie and friends were chatting, and the woman sitting on the bench behind me had her phone on quite high volume watching douyin videos. Despite this I tried my Spanish counting method and got up to 85 but just got stuck there. I knew I wasn't asleep but a moment later heard myself let out a loud snore. Is it possible to snore if you're conscious? Maybe I had dropped off for just a few seconds...I wish it had been minutes. But any chance of any more snoring vanished when A Zhong called me to eat tea. What? It wasn't yet 3.30pm but I knew better than to argue.

Some of the preparation for the feeding of the 2000

There were streets of huge frying pans like these...like they've done this before?

Indeed, many people were already at table, some eating. But I decided to go for a walk first and bumped into a few people I now knew. I got invited to sit with Erjie but I knew A Zhong wanted me at his table and anyway it would be possible, no encouraged, to table-hop later. So I found A Zhong's table and ate with some more people I didn't know which was sort of the point. Of course they knew Tan or Erjie though. I was offered beer but I said I wouldn't drink alone. It's one of my few rules here (except for the occasions at home maybe before going out or pre-siesta). So a couple of minutes later a bloke arrived with a six pack of beer and I had no excuse not to partake any more.

Lin Hong said there were at least 2000 people...I didn't attempt to count but if there were 200 tables then it could be true

Presently, another bloke turned up with more beer and I realised I needed to be a little careful. It was soon after 4pm and I reckoned I'd be on stage around 9pm. But then the table-hopping started in earnest for an hour or so during which I couldn't really avoid drinking. Then some of the Bangxu ladies across the road on a long table started singing and I noticed that Lin Hong was one of them. She caught my eye and beckoned me over, and I thought that would be a good idea as I wouldn't have to drink. How wrong I was. She beckoned to me to bring not just my glass but a can too. The ladies sang another Bangxu song and ended with a "woo!" as you do, followed by us all ganbeiing.

Scissors paper stone Bangxu style!

Then I was told to go to the side of the table that Lin Hong was on, which meant walking up around 30 metres to the end of where the tables had been set up and then back again. This time a bloke came with a pack of cans of Li Quan beer and one was thrust in my hand. There was more singing and drinking, and then they some sort of singing version of caima. Except after two rounds (of losing) I realised it was actually scissors, paper, stone. Regardless, I still lost, although with so many people playing I guess around two thirds of the people lose each round. Well it was great fun, and I realised people were filming so Tan would no doubt chastise me later. At least Lin Hong being there legitimised it somewhat.

A particularly drunk bloke then took me to tables to caima but I knew better than to get too involved. I may have had a couple of rounds, and nearly sat down at the table A Qiu was at, but was pulled away. Finally, it was getting towards the time of the second evening of entertainment at the wu tai. Not being a host, I didn't need to be backstage all the time, but I felt obliged to be there nonetheless. Indeed the order of acts had changed from what I had, and I was the second-to-last. So I sent some pictures of the day's happenings to Tan and she described them as "boring". What? This is the first ever such celebration in Bangxu and it was anything but!

I do admit to having a mild jing jiu and cola when it was getting closer to my time to perform, as my last beer had been over two hours ago. So with that it was back to the stage for The Boxer, for the umpteenth time this year. Although I'd had the foresight to detune the guitar by a semitone last night to make it a bit safer for the higher notes. I felt a bit bad at getting more applause than the excellent groups of dancers who had obviously been practising for months, but was also relieved to have finished.

A few minutes later and that was it for the inaugural Bangxu New Year festival. In my opinion a great success, though I was told there were currently no plans for another one. If there are, I'll do my best to be there unless Tan wants to be there instead. And with that a few minutes later we were back in the car heading home to Pingguo.

We got back around 10.30pm, I'd pinged Xiao Nong and she said to go to hers for a bite which I did until everyone had left around 1am. Then she said friends were at the loud disco place and against my better judgement I ended up going there with her and somehow didn't end up home till 5am. I am just too old for this!

First day of Bangxu festival

Bollocks, I woke up at 6.30am and couldn't get back to sleep again. I knew I'd have to go to Lin Hong's soon so I forced a shower but she didn't call me till gone 8.30am. I was proper nervous and still couldn't remember my new lines. I drove over to hers soon after 9am and we went and picked up an ex-colleague of Tan who was also involved in the festival. She was quite small but full of personality and insisted on doing a video message for Tan as apparently they were good friends.

We arrived at Bangxu soon after 10am and it was chock-a-block with cars. I got out for a walk and after a bit recognised I was at the road I'd arrived at in late 2003 where I got out and hugged an old woman who I thought was my future mother-in-law but actually wasn't. I walked down the streets and had really bittersweet memories. The first time I was here she was just my girlfriend and I couldn't speak any Chinese. 20+ years later a lot had changed but Bangxu didn't seem to have. Rather like our Bangxu wedding in 2005 there were quite a few people cooking stuff in massive pans outside, except that instead of 100+ people there were 1500+ people expected to eat.

I'm sure I recognise these stairs from somewhere

Nice changfen for lunch

A Zhong had found a place to park and called me and after a nice walk around the market I managed to find my way back to what was apparently Lin Hong's house. The next hour or so was simply waiting around and chatting, and I took advantage by going for more walks around the market as it was really bustling. Then I heard a shout from someone and it was Lao Pan across the road, and she was calling me to drink tea...fair enough I'd not seen her or her husband Lao Ling for about 6 years but it was like we'd never been apart. Tea was poured and we chatted about stuff as one does.

Then I got a call to eat as it was midday. Fair enough, I went to what I was told was Waipo's old house, where I'd spent a few weeks a long time ago. If it was the same house it had changed massively, but the bloke said they'd made some structural changes. Lao Lin joined me with a few other blokes and we had a simple meal but when Lao Lin opened the beers I explained that I had to be a compere so I wouldn't indulge. That ended up meaning I would only have 3 glasses which is fair enough I suppose.

Preparing food for 1000+ people

Next, the woman we gave a lift to told us to go to the wu tai, which is the place we were to perform in the evening. We went there to practise. There was an oldish bloke but all the rest of the comperes were young people in their 20s. I was the only one who'd printed out the lines, and after 20 minutes or so practising, that woman (I really should know her name) decided that the rest of them should have printouts too, so set about sorting that. Of course things had changed again since I made my printout yesterday but it was more the order than the actual text. I started to get a bit nervous and sent my words to Tan and she said she didn't even understand all of it.

Starting to get stage fright

To be fair there were quite a few people

But it was getting on for 3.30pm and the evening meal was nearly ready...there were something like 100 tables, each with 10 people, and as much as I would have liked some Dutch courage I knew I needed to be sensible. Tan had recorded herself saying my words and maybe it would have helped a little if I'd had the time to listen and practise but nay, soon after the meal us comperes had to meet up to practise again. It was great that they were all talking to me in Mandarin (as if there was another option) and I made sure I understood what they were talking about...apparently the old bloke would pick three kids from the audience and do the following:

1 - ask one to guess where I was from and if they got it right they'd get a red envelope

2 - ask why I was in Bangxu (and yes I had to answer in the local language - góu dāo lán yǎ dāi)

3 - ask if I could caima, and then of course caima with me

Part to the video of Bangxu people who couldn't make it...Xixi not really making an effort at all

Well, what could go wrong? Eventually at 7.25pm the event started and the six of us got on stage. I managed to follow the words but when we all had to join in saying Happy New Year I totally forgot to use my microphone. But I realised my mistake and a minute later when I had to do my first solo statements it seemed to go ok, if slower than the native speakers. I think the fact that the floodlights were blaring into my eyes so I couldn't see the crowd helped.

When it got to my time to do the local lingo thing I was already somewhat in my stride. I knew I wasn't speaking fluently but I'd lost the initial stage fright. The main bloke invited a young kid to come up to the stage and ask me where I was from. She was fairly young and embarrassed so when he said "Meiguo, Yingguo, Deguo" she simply answered with the first one - "American" I felt so bad telling her she was wrong and that I was English simply because she would have got a hong bao had she got it right. The bloke even showed her the red envelope she would have won!

Next, he wanted to know why I was in Bangxu, as per above, and this time he got another kid on stage to ask me this question. As per my practice, I answered "góu dāo lán yǎ dāi" as Tan had helped me with earlier. I'd hoped this would garner a response but it appeared no-one understood. The other bloke repeated my words but got the same response. It was as if most of the crowd were too young to understand the local tu hua. At least when he translated to Mandarin we got a few laughs!

Finally he got another kid to come on stage to ask me to caima. This was another embarrassing moment for a kid as he was about 13 and clearly didn't know how to play. I was about to offer scissors paper stone but the other host said he'd caima with me instead. Well why not? I've caima'd in front of 20+ people before...what more would another 2000 make? I beat him in two hands and that was it. I only had one more speech to make before my song.

The next hour went past pretty quickly until it was my time to perform. Normally I'd have had a couple of drinks by now but being a compere meant I didn't want to. I hope I got away with my rendition of Sound of Silence, as the penultimate act. At least I got a decent round of applause. And with that the first day was over, and before long we were in A Zhong's car heading back to Pingguo and I was home at midnight after being told we would leave earlier tomorrow.

False start to Bangxu festival and much relief

I woke up in the morning worrying about the Bangxu concert later today. I went for a walk to practise my lines, all two of them, but kept fluffing them. Literally a dozen characters or so but for some reason they wouldn't stick in my head. I went to the closest supermarket to pick up some jing jiu and cola again, should I need it later, then went home still saying my lines out loud.

It was strange that Lin Hong hadn't pinged me to go as it was late morning already so I pinged her to ask if we were going and she said no (not yet?). Then at 12.30 I'd still not heard from her and then Jiuma got back to tell me it was tomorrow but I wasn't sure. I really hoped it was though. Then I checked the Bangxu group I was part of and found there was an updated document so downloaded it and opened it in Google docs and found to my horror that I was now presenting a few of the acts on the first day, not to mention being one of them.

I reckoned by 1pm Jiuma was right and then saw that the days of the festival were Chu si and Chu wu, being the fourth and fifth day of the lunar New Year. Phew! What a massive relief! Ok, I translated my words from characters to pinyin as many of them were unknown to me. I also sent them to Tan and even she said she didn't understand some of it as it was written in a very poetic manner. So once translated I downloaded the doc as a pdf and stuck it on my USB drive and walked to the place where I'd printed off my music a few days ago. So now I had a printout with my bits highlighted, and I did my best to pronounce them as a bit of practice. I picked up a lovely glass of mango juice on the way back and realised I was really lucky to be in tee-shirt weather when it was pretty grim weather in the UK.

A seemingly random poster about network security I passed on my walk - I guess it's good to make people aware

Lin Hong then sent me a message to say tomorrow 8am. I asked whether that meant 8am at her house or what but got no reply. Ok so I'd need another early night. I decided I'd better have a haircut so set off to walk to Lao Ma's but almost immediately bumped into Lin Hong on the street who was of course talking on her phone. But she asked where I was going and invited me to eat tonight at her place so I said I'd be there when I'd had my haircut. I walked on down to Lao Ma's where I'd been earlier in the day but she had been cooking. She scolded me for not telling her I'd be there at 5.30pm as she was just about to go out shopping, but did my haircut anyway and said it would be 68 kuai as it was New Year, and not the usual 30 kuai. Well, I wasn't going to complain and as soon as I'd paid I had Lin Hong on the phone again asking where I was so I said I'd be shi ji minutes.

I did stop off home to pick up the dian dong che and maybe have a little nip of jing jiu before getting to her place to eat with her and A Zhong and an aunty and niece or something like that. They had gorgeous big red prawns that would not be so nice tomorrow so I had to finish them off that evening and it wasn't that difficult. The home made la chang was also fantastic and I had my fill of that and couldn't take any rice. Lin Hong once again insisted that A Zhong's mum would make me zongzi so I sent a message to Tan to make sure Erjie wouldn't waste money buying them. Tan sent back a voice message in the local language so I let Lin Hong listen to it as I literally couldn't make out a word.

Lin Hong said she'd call me at about 8am tomorrow so I made my excuses and left for my early night. I was actually quite tired but awake enough that I decided to go to Tian Yang Po's for a little bbq at 11pm. She was actually quite busy so I left my order and said I'd be shi ji minutes, meaning I'd probably be longer and got home and had a chat with Mat before getting back to Tian Yang Po over half an hour later and she scolded me for being longer than shi ji minutes! But it was worth it and by 12.30am I was asleep for the earliest time in weeks.

Unexpected trip to A Wu's wife's hometown Huangtai Tun

At least I got up in the morning and went for a walk as there's not much time left now. I pinged A Wu to see if he wanted to go for a bite to eat but he said he wouldn't be back in Pingguo till the afternoon. Then he sent a message to say he would send someone to pick me up and I would go to his wife's hometown village at 2.30pm to eat. Well I had no plans so why not? He called me before I had time to finish the message to say exactly the same thing so I went home with a vague idea to get some sleep first.

I managed a couple of midday beers but for some reason sleep didn't follow, so I grabbed a cup of coffee and at 2.20pm received an SMS from someone saying he was waiting outside in a red car. Yes, typical, but I'd had my shower so 15 minutes later walked out with a bottle of cola and something and met the bloke, and we drove about 30 minutes south of Pingguo till we reached the hamlet called Huangtai Tun.

It was great to see A Wu's kids and they ran to hug me. I was wearing far too much as it was around 20 degrees so I shed my think coat and hoodie and took the kids for a walk around the place. I love these little hamlets; almost no-one has seen a westerner before so it's a bit like being in Bangxu in 2003 again. I held hands with A Wu's daughter and the daughter of his wife's wife as you do, and we ventured down some thin winding paths to find houses where of course people knew us via other people. It was another of those money-can't-buy moments, despite it being £535 air fare. But the other costs have been time getting used to the lingo that really made this trip possible.

Yi yen, A Wu's wife's sister's daughter, A Wu's daughter

We were called to eat soon after 4pm and I knew by now this was a loose term. People would come and go for the whole evening and I only wondered when I'd get back. But I wasn't concerned. As the beers started flowing and we descended into cai ma I was in my element but slightly worried I wouldn't last that long. Not to worry, I lay on a bench and pretended to sleep for half an hour. Maybe I even did have 40 winks.

Lovely village meal

I got up and more people were there but after a bit I couldn't handle any more fizz so went for a walk around the village. Some bloke told me to follow him to have a game of pool. So I did and had a good laugh not really understanding Chinese rules. Then I decided to see a bit more of the village and it was really worth it. I happened upon various families, all of whom invited me in to eat even though I was full. But at one place a woman was doing bbq and I sat down with who I guess is her husband and a couple of kids and managed to eat a sausage and some squid. The young girl, who I guessed was about 11 said she was 19. I know my Chinese isn't that great but I asked her twice more how old she was and she confirmed 19. Jeez, it's nice to looker younger than you are (I love people guessing I'm in my 30s) but that difference is almost a deformity. She was lovely to talk to though, as was everyone in the village with no exception.

Playing pool in the local shop as you do

I happened upon a woman doing bbq and had some

I realised I was having one of the times of my life after only having been invited a few hours ago. It was a mix of being accepted as a speaker of the language yet being an outsider who joins in. It'd days like this I will cherish. On the way back I got lost and found myself at another house where the lady bade me to come in and took a picture of me. Not two minutes later I received a call from one of A Wu's wife's relatives saying he knew where I was and was coming to pick me up.

So back at the main house we had a few more drinks and cai ma and finally at gone 11pm it was determined that we would go back to Pingguo. A Wu had been drinking but said he'd drive carefully and I suppose he did, stopping only for both of us to have a wee. He dropped me off at the bottom of my road and I'm glad he did as I popped in to the local convenience store to pick up some jing jiu to help with confidence as I'm due to perform in Bangxu tomorrow. Back home I ended up having a chat with the lads and they tried to instil some confidence into me about playing the guitar and singing in front of 2000 people. It didn't really work.

New Year's day and a nice present from Mr Calligrapher

I once again forced down a couple of boiled eggs for lunch as didn't have much of an appetite again. Fen pinged me just after 1pm to meet up and as I didn't have any other plans I said I could do so we spent a couple of hours together from 3.30pm, but I knew I was expected at Lin Hong's husband's father's house again, and of course she pinged me at 5pm to go over.

So around 5.30pm I got there and it was another lovely family meal. And just like yesterday I needed to go for a second meal soon after so made my excuses to go to the calligrapher's place that Haiwei had sent me the location of. Except it wasn't exact and I thought it was in A Wu's complex. It took 20 minutes of location sharing and phone calls before I realised it was in a neighbouring complex but I eventually got there not too long after 7pm. Evidently they had waited for me to start, which was slightly embarrassing, and I would have really enjoyed the meal if I'd still been hungry.

The bloke who sat next to me shared a few beers with me. His wife sat opposite me and was apparently an English teacher, but she barely spoke any English, explaining that she only taught young kids and the English was very basic. I did make an effort to speak with her in English but fair enough she could barely string two sentences together.

I'd hoped to watch the City - Everton match at 8.30pm, but it was already gone 8pm and we were to go downstairs to the calligrapher's shop. Fair enough. When there he made me a really nice wall frieze with the words "friends forever", which was really appreciated. But we had to wait for the ink to dry, so of course we went to drink tea. For the next half an hour without exception each of us was stuck in our phones, me trying unsuccessfully to find a stream of the match.

Haiwei's second son, me, Haiwei, posing in the calligrapher's shop

The calligrapher and me with my lovely frieze

Eventually the calligrapher left and came back with my rolled up parchment, which I thanked him profusely for as it's a pretty unique present. Then we left to go and Haiwei and his son took a didi bike and I found my dian dong che and got back just before the second half started. Yes! Haaland struck twice after 70 minutes and we got a well-deserved win.

But Li Kun had got in contact and I'd promised to go and meet him. I told him 20 minutes when the match was 70 minutes old but due to 10 minutes of injury time and some faffing it was nearly double that. But I made it and it was again cool to be playing with his kids. More beer was partaken and I got back at a respectfully late 1.30am for a brief chat with the lads.

First New Year's Eve in 20 years

Managed to sleep in till gone 1pm and when I got up Jiuma was about and told me to eat. I couldn't really disagree so asked her when as at 1.30pm it was a bit late for lunch and a bit early for tea. Her answer was the typical 等一下 so I still didn't know, but I'm used to that sort of response now.

Food being offered to Tan's parents, may they Rest In Peace

At 3pm she knocked on my door to eat. Well that's a first for me at this time. As it was New Year's Eve I expected a family meal but in fact she'd cooked for me only. A whole chicken breast and some beef with a large bowl of rice. Ah, that was so kind of her and had I known I'd never have let her spend all that time cooking for just one person. And of course I couldn't finish it, so when she wasn't there I had to chuck half the rice, but I put the rest of the meat in the fridge. I knew I was invited to Haiwei's again this evening and would need an appetite.

I somehow found this printout of how they are going to introduce me in the Bangxu festival: The next moment that is refreshing for everyone has arrived. Are you looking forward to it? Where is the expected applause? Next, I invited a partner from the UK to bring us an English song "Sounds of Silence". Everyone gave us the warmest applause and invited our Mr. Peng Duoming to give us a wonderful singing performance. !

But soon after 4pm Lin Hong called me to eat with them. As she is genuine family she took precedence over Haiwei so after I got a message from him to come over I let him know my plans and that I'd be there later and he was of course fine with that. Lin Hong had said to come over in 10 minutes. I know from experience this was not necessary and told her I'd need to shower and be over in 十几分钟 which I still don't understand exactly. It literally means 10 minutes plus some, but I don't know if the "some" is between 1-9 or something else. Maybe it's the equivalent of "umpteen" but Google boringly translates it as "ten minutes", which is definitely not true. I guess I'll think of it as 10+ minutes where the "+" is indefinite. I was watching a fascinating video about linguistics the other day and there was a bit about the Piraha Amazonian tribe that literally does not have the concept of numbers. Wow, it's almost unimaginable. Apparently if they watch sports they can't conceive of the "score" but just enjoy it. It's almost too extreme to believe.

Well anyway I grabbed my shower and of course with tooth brushing and moisturising it was closer to half an hour by the time I left, and then I received a message from Lin Hong to come in 10 minutes. But I was only 2 minutes away, and she had said to come in 10 minutes 30 minutes ago. I know she is not a member of the Piraha but I wonder if she is some distant relation. Anyway I said I'd be a couple of minutes as her house is opposite our old house by the guangchang, and she said she'd send her husband A Zheng down to meet me.

But when I turned up, after stopping off at one of the few open shops to pick up some longyan fruit, he wasn't there. I got a phone call from an unknown number and unlike in the UK I answered it and it was him asking where I was. I said I was at the main entrance by the guangchang as would be expected. He said ok he'd come to meet me, and I expected that he'd come from another entrance, but in fact nearly 10 minutes later he turned up on a dian dong che. Oh, apparently we were going to eat at his father's house. Blimey, Lin Hong! Couldn't you have just communicated that slightly important piece of information when we talked on the phone just 40 minutes ago? I really really like Lin Hong. I feel she's genuinely like an aunty to me (and I think she genuinely is as her and Tan's grandfathers are literal brothers). But for want of a handful of words I was in the wrong place and her husband had to spend minutes of his time coming to meet me. Moreover, when we got to his dad's place Lin Hong wasn't there as her father is seriously ill and she had to help him have a drip.

Well it really didn't matter. I'm here in Guangxi and this sort of thing is to be expected. I followed A Zheng on my dian dong che and got to his dad's house around 5.30pm. His dad is very aged, and was sitting in a comfy chair around some burning wood, although today it's been a pleasant 17 degrees and I could remove my coat inside for the first time in days. I was slightly bored sitting indoors, with everyone, including the aged dad, on their phones, so I went for a walk but of course A Zheng accompanied me.

I noticed some young kids playing with bangers and fireworks and my youth instantly beckoned me to go over to them. I so miss playing with fireworks and it was great fun as they ripped the sticks off mini rockets and put them in little tubes to fire up, except one nearly flew into a house and A Zheng scolded them a bit and told them to aim it better. I could have stayed to join in but eventually Lin Hong came back with her daughter driving the dian dong che. Funny to think I remember her mostly as a 7 or 8 year old taking out my kids to play but now she's 24 and driving her mum around.

The meal was fine despite the constant contradictions of being told to relax and being told to eat more all the time! Literally every 2 minutes I was being told to eat more chicken! But fair enough, apparently it had been raised upstairs on the 5th floor as is normal here. Despite my 3pm lunch I managed to eat a slice of zongzi and four pieces of chicken and some greens before I made my excuses after some other people had. That was fine, and I was told to come back tomorrow at 5pm and I really appreciated it. This time of year is for families after all.

Lin Hong on the right and her daughter Tian Tian in the middle

Lin Hong has been really busy helping to organise the Bangxu festival I'm due to take part in on the 12th and 13th. But this morning I found out I'm also due to be one of the presenters. I've been given a document with the words I need to say and thankfully it's not too much and hopefully I'll be able to commit it to memory: 在新的一年里，祝大家财运亨通，事业有成，幸福美满，万事如意! (In the new year, I wish everyone good fortune, success in career, happiness and all the best!). I was getting worried as Tan had said that there would be thousands of people but she is one to exaggerate, so I asked Lin Hong how many people there would be there. She said 200, and then without even looking like she was joking followed it up with "tables". Then A Zheng did the math and confirmed that meant there would be 2000 people! Shit! I then asked the obvious question as to when it would start and Lin Hong said eating and drinking would start at 4pm and the show itself would start at 7pm. I will absolutely need some Dutch courage if it's true about 2000 people as it's literally 20 times more than I've ever performed in front of before.

Next it was back to Haiwei's mum's place for a second meal. This time I had the forethought to get some longyan and 12 cans of Li Quan weak beer. And it was worth it as they still only had Hoegaarden from yesterday. Again, I couldn't really stomach much, but the bloke sitting next to me with an 80s Hong Kong hairstyle kept putting stuff in my bowl anyway. Apparently he is a calligrapher, which is a pretty important job here. Well I did have one thimbleful of Haiwei's tealeaf alcohol and it wasn't half as bad as most baijiu is here, but it was still baijiu so I moved on to the beer afterwards, as did Haiwei. During the meal Haiwei's second son told me that there was an English girl in his school. Damn, that would mean there were at least three more foreigners here as I assume her parents are also here. Also, she spoke very good Mandarin which is fair enough I suppose but at least I've not yet seen another white person this year.

My one and only glass of tealeaf alcohol

The calligrapher bloke noticed me using my left hand for chopsticks and started using his too. I tried to show off that I could use my right hand too but I'm still rubbish, like the correct muscles never developed and I can barely get enough pressure to pick up a single noodle. But he said he was ambidextrous and could use either hand for chopsticks or for writing. I know that in general the Chinese think this is a sign of intelligence so I praised him for it but he said no it wasn't a sign of intelligence at all. Oh well, at least I tried. Anyway, I was invited to his house to eat tomorrow which was nice of him.

I left around 8.30pm and got home and realised I was really alone. I couldn't just go out for a walk and get randomly invited to eat with people as no-one was out and about. Almost literally. I've never known Pingguo to be so quiet. At around 10pm I pinged Fen, who got back to me to say she was drinking with friends at a location near to A Wu's office, and to come over. So that was my New Year's Eve sorted.

I turned up and found a load of blokes eating at tables outside and was immediately invited to sit down with them and ganbei. Fair enough! Much mirth was had in the ensuing 15 minutes or so while Fen came down from the 3rd floor to fetch me, but she also got held up having to ganbei some of the blokes. Eventually we went upstairs in a neighbouring house where there were a few women and just two blokes, and I was poured a large glass of what looked like tea but was obviously fairly strong fruit alcohol. Well, it was New Year and I wasn't going to stand on ceremony, so joined in and enjoyed the experience, with all the bangers and fireworks going on in the background.

New Year's Eve was not alone at least

As midnight arrived there was no counting down or anything. We just continued chatting and drinking and I can't remember what time I got back home, but I managed it safely and had had my first Chinese Chinese New Year in 20 years.

Meal with Haiwei's family then another performance this time at Xiao Bai de Tian

Managed to grab another hour's sleep after waking up at 11am , which was really nice, until I realised it still was not much more than 7 hours' sleep in total. But hey-ho, I saw I had a message to eat with Haiwei tonight, so that was the evening meal sorted, and I forced down a couple of quail eggs I'd boiled the other day for lunch though I had little appetite.

Later in the afternoon I went for a walk to the supermarket to pick up beer and yoghurt. Already more than half the other shops are closed for the New Year and it's only New Year's eve tomorrow. On the way back Li Kun called me to eat with him but I told him I had a prior invitation and of course he was fine with that. I told him I'd call him after I'd eaten and "communicate" with him, thinking that was a reasonable term, but he chastised me and said I would call him later to "arrange something". Ha, fair enough, I'm gradually learning these little nuances. Another one I've learnt this year is not to say 我要走了 (I'm going back), but to say 我回家了 (I'm going home). I have no idea if this is specific to Guangxi or is more general but it's good to notice progress, if very slow.

After a couple of beers I left to find Haiwei's mum's house situated in a school living complex from what I could make out. I remembered to get some fruit but couldn't find anywhere open, so I headed back to a supermarket I'd seen before, but heard a shout and it was Haiwei's second son waiting for me. I told him I wanted to get some fruit but he said "no!", we were to go to eat. Well fair enough. There were three generations in the house and I could see it would be a lovely family meal. Clearly they were still preparing it which is why I arrived after the advertised 6pm but not too late to be rude, and soon after 6.30pm we sat down to an excellent meal with raw fish and two huoguos, one with beef ribs and one more normal one for heating up the already cold chicken.

Nice family meal at Haiwei's mum's place

I mostly stuck to the raw fish, but Haiwei kept putting boiled squid in my bowl and I couldn't really complain about my protein-rich supper. After 20 minutes the alcohol was brought out but they only had Hoegaarden cans of beer that were 4.5%! I so notice the difference and didn't even manage two cans before Haiwei moved from the baijiu to beer and helped me finish of the second one and we shared the third. It was quite a relief not to be playing cai ma, but instead talk, and indeed I did talk English with Haiwei's first son, whom I noticed had had his nails painted, so I wasn't the only bloke in Pingguo with at least one painted nail. I wonder if I should get all of mine done.

Apparently the 2nd and middle finger represent devil eyes

He's also shown me where I can get mine done and sent me the contact details of the woman that does it. Should I?

During the meal A Wu called me. He'd originally arranged for me to go to his wife's home town tomorrow for New Year's Eve, but now said that there weren't any beds and it wouldn't be convenient. Oh, I wasn't expecting to stay the night anyway but I guess that had been that plan that was now changed. So now I was planless for the biggest night of the year! Oh well, hopefully something will sort itself out.

Back home I pinged Li Kun to "arrange" something and he said to relax for a bit and later we'd go to Xiao Bai de Tian. Cool, so I enjoyed a much weaker 330ml can of beer but before I could finish he'd pinged me the location of the bar, not that I needed it any more and I told him so. 20 minutes later I was there and it was the busiest I've ever seen it. On the left was a table of people I'd met a couple of weeks ago at Tian Yang Po's bbq place, and they called over to me and I said I'd have a drink with them "in a bit", and sat down with Li Kun and his wife and three kids, well his eldest on her pad as the other two were running about like...kids do. The owner and the Shandong bloke from last time joined us for a few drinks and then some bbq lamb turned up which was fatty but delicious.

Great food and company at Xiao Bai de Tian

I did go over and perform my ganbei to the other table, and thankfully didn't have to ganbei each of the six of them. Then the Shandong bloke went round the back and came back with two large bowls of noodles, Shandong style (meaning cold I think). I didn't avail myself of these, but when he came back a second time with some cold horse meat I certainly did as it was really nice. And then shortly after he brought what is possibly my favourite dish, 皮蛋, preserved brown eggs - the texture of boiled eggs but brown and semi-translucent, served with garlicky relish.

The owner then got up and performed some guitar songs, and Li Kun said I should do the same, to which I shook my head. Then Ma Laoban (Li Kun's Ma, not my tea drinking friend) turned up to sit with us as Li Kun's wife had taken the kids home by now. Then a bloke from the table I'd ganbeid with earlier got up to sing a couple of songs. Li Kun then told the owner that I could play the guitar and sing and he looked at me as if to say why hadn't I told him after coming here so many times?

So when this bloke had finished his set on the guitar, Ma Laoban started shouting "Duoming! Duoming!" and within seconds the whole of the place was doing the same. I had no option now, but had suspected it since the owner had found out I could play so had been doing ganbeis rather than half glasses for the last 10 minutes. They wanted Sound of Silence and they got it, despite a few fumbled words. And I guess it wasn't too bad as they insisted on another so I did The Boxer again. Fair enough, Li Kun made the excuse that it would be good practice for the Bangxu festival in four days and I can't really argue with that.

Sound(s) of Silence with some jumbled lyrics

They made me do an encore so might as well practise for the Bangxu festival

Fun "wanted" posters for Harry Potter characters in the same place as actual communist leaders...some sort of joke?

I was a bit of a relief to get back to the table though, and then a woman who told me she was called Maria then got up to the front to sing some songs and we ended up staying till getting on for 2am. I gave Li Kun a lift back that I probably shouldn't have, then got home to have a chat with the lads and it ended up being another near 4am end again.

Big countryside meal and nice bbq

Managed to sleep in till midday or so and didn't feel great again. It took a great effort but after a quail egg I managed to do most of another stint of dumbbell exercises. A Wu pinged me in the middle to see where I was. Then at 4.13pm to say we were going out. Ok, I told him I'd need to grab a shower first, to which he replied he was waiting outside. Well he'd have to wait. I told him 5 minutes but it was more like 15 before he called again to ask where I was.

So at about 4.40pm got in his BMW and then we drove to the office just north of the guangchang, where we entered and left the doors open as it stank of smoke, then he put his phone on charge and went outside for some reason. I spent the next 20 minutes drinking tea with a couple of blokes and there was clearly no hurry at all for anything. I did manage to pop outside and chat with a family keeping warm around a burning log, until A Wu turned up to say we were going. We got as far as turning the car around then stopped again to chat.

Finally we were on our way at getting on for 6pm and it was only a 10 minute drive north of Pingguo to some place I'd not been to before, but it was someone's hometown. Then more waiting around ensued. This enabled me to have a walkabout and I bumped into a couple of ladies cooking zongzi, and of course they made me try some. I didn't realise how hungry I was and ate a whole slice at their insistence before being called to come down as the car with the beer had arrived and us lads each had to bring two boxes to the meal.

I hadn't expected such a big feast. There were about 10 tables in total, 9 of which were filled with blokes and just the one with womenfolk. It was pretty good fun of course. One of the blokes on our table said he was born in 1968 so he was the elder and therefore led the ceremony of ganbeis, and I was just glad it was 2.5% beer. After a while Huang Lei turned up too, and then the table-hopping began and I started to drink only half a glass for each ganbei and quickly top it up again before anyone noticed.

Just one of the rooms with a couple of tables...there was another next door and tables outside too

Pool was a welcome relief from the beer too...even if the Chinese rules are quite different from what I'm used to

But my gut was playing along so eventually I needed to go to the loo for a squat. At bloody least they had enough toilet paper. I got second wind and managed some cai ma'ing with a few blokes but needed to go for a walk after a bit when bloated. I came across a few women sitting round a fire and invited myself to sit with them for a while. It was so nice to be away from the endless fizz and have a semi-normal conversation for a change. But my presence was required so I went back to the menfolk until I realised A Wu wasn't about. Then he rang me to say he was in the carpark. Fair enough I'd seen him measuring out tiny shots of baijiu, probably as he knew he was due to drive later, and the two of us left shortly after 11pm, talking about his elder son. Apparently it had been a pain in the court after their divorce but I said he was a great chap and intelligent but A Wu said he wasn't. It's not really an argument I can win but I said I disagreed and that was all.

So home at 11.20pm, I realised I'd not really eaten all that much at the meal, so went for a walk to see what was about. So many places are closed now but after 30 minutes or so I came upon Tian Yang Po's bbq place and she was still open, so I ordered some beef and duck tongue as you do. There was one occupied table with three women drinking beer, so I cheekily asked if I could sit with them while waiting for the bbq. Of course I could, and I went to pick up a couple of bottle or Li Quan. Of course I was introduced as Bangxu guye, and Tian Yang Po's assistant kindly found a photo of Tan and her two sisters and everyone complimented her on her white skin (eughh) and good looks (fair enough). We ended up playing a lot of cai ma and I had some of their bbq and they barely touched mine when it arrived. It was a really fun end to the evening and we left at getting on for 2am, when I detoured a bit and picked up a bottle of jing jiu for a nightcap. This ended up being a longer nightcap than expected as another chat with Mat and Awl ensued till getting on for 4 am again.

Last piano practice and late meals again

Somehow I woke up at not long after 11am. I realised I'd not been asleep for much more than four hours so tried to get back to sleep but forgot to use German or Spanish counting so it didn't work.

I wasn't hungry at all but managed to force a couple of boiled eggs down, if only to justify taking my supplements. For the third night in a row I didn't have an invitation to go out to eat, so went back to the music place for some more practice before they close tomorrow. Of course as soon as I had put out the music at 7.50pm, A Wu called to go to his and eat. So I compromised and told him I'd go over in half an hour as was just starting piano practice. I managed to improve my Easy Winners a bit but still struggle to put it all together. But it's a labour of love I suppose. Similar for Mozart's fast sonata 304 which is still getting my fingers in a twist, but better than no twisting at all.

Although I've been to A Wu's place several times now I still forgot where his block was and he had to resend the address and location but 5 minutes after arriving I was in the lift with 4 jin of Thai longyan fruit that cost me the princely sum of 55 kuai. When I walked in I thought I'd overdone it with the fruit as there were just A Wu and two other blokes at the table, with A Wu's wife's sister in the kitchen. Well the little daughters came over and gave me a nice hug which alone justified coming over. As it was, at 9.30pm a few more blokes turned up and justified the amount of food on the table.

A Wu's son Yi yen grabbing some of the delicious bbq we heated up

It was great food, especially the pheasant, which for years I thought was wild chicken as that's what it literally translates as. But I was glad he has a western toilet as my guts didn't agree with something or other. Oh, and being heated was a great touch too. I could have stayed there much longer than I did. But Haiwei had called me at 10.10pm to go and eat at his place, and as I haven't seen him much recently due to his work I told A Wu I'd go over there half an hour later. Sadly, he told me a bloke he played ping pong with just suddenly died two days agoa from heart failure and he was only in his 50s. I think it may have happened on court too as Haiwei had driven him to the hospital but it appears it was too late. I didn't know what to say really but came out with something like we should live life to the full while we can for we never know when it will end.

It was nice to see the couple that I presume own the place again, and despite having already eaten enough I managed a fair amount more over the next nearly 3 hours. We ate some roubing, which literally means "meat biscuits", and is apparently made from 90% pork and 10% ice. I thought about asking exactly how that works, but will leave it for another time. It seems it is a way to get kids to eat meat when they won't eat it in a more natural format. Fair enough I guess. Anyway, I got home at just gone 2am but ended up chatting to Mat and Awl for longer than is decent but was asleep before 4am.

Train ticket issues and another very late one

Up late morning and didn't fancy any of what was in the house to eat so went for a walk. I met Lu zong at his shop but he'd already eaten and anyway his youngest was having an injection, meaning he was on the drip. It looks like half the shops are now closed for New Year but there was one selling noodles so I picked that and had beef fen for 10 kuai. I then bumped into a mate with his two kids and spent a few minutes prising what little English I could out of them but it was much appreciated.

Back home I downloaded the sheet music to "The Easy Winners" and "Fig Leaf Rag", and walked off to get them printed off. The problem yesterday was that the paper quality was not high, and the paper kept bending and falling off the piano. So this time I popped into Guanmart to pick up a sort of folder with transparent pages to hold the paper in. Annoyingly it wouldn't scan at the till, so the lady told me to put it back and get another one. I wanted to tell her that wouldn't solve the problem (for the next person at least) but did what I was told and got another one that also wouldn't scan. It took about 5 minutes but I wasn't going to leave empty-handed so eventually one of the assistants got the label from the shelf and scanned that and all was ok.

So I had what I needed but suddenly I wasn't in the mood. It was one of those slightly "down" times again, maybe partly due to the realisation that there were only two weeks to go. But two weeks meant the train tickets should be on sale now, so I went home to check. Well no tickets from Nanning to the airport any more it seems, though you can go from Nanning East. I nearly bought a ticket but found that the Pingguo to Nanning tickets wouldn't be on sale for another 10 minutes. So I did what anyone would do and grabbed a cold beer. Then I heard Tan's brother arrive so stayed in my room for some time as he still slightly scares me.

But eventually the beer (or maybe the second one) meant I needed to go for a leak so I had to emerge from my room but he just asked me if I'd eaten and I asked him the same. It's almost the same as saying "how do you do?" only to be answered "how do you do?". It's quite nice in a way and reflects the fact that nearly everything revolves around eating here. Well he and Jiuma left shortly after and indeed I was getting peckish so heated up some duck and a bit of zongzi.

It was getting on for 7pm and finally I was in the mood for some piano practice, so took the dian dong che over there in case I was invited out somewhere afterwards, and indeed at 7pm when I sat down at the piano, Yangwen pinged me to go for a walk. So I said I would at 8pm and had a nice practice till 7.58pm when he called me to ask if I was on my way. So I packed up and 5 minutes later was at the tennis court place and he wasn't even there yet.... He arrived with a female friend I'd met before but I don't think is his wife. I was too embarrassed to ask though as I should know now after 10+ years of knowing him.

I'm so rusty it hurts...and I've found they're going to close for New Year on the 8th only to open on the day I leave

We walked and chatted for maybe 15 minutes before it was declared the walk was over and we said our goodbyes and that was it. I'd had no other invitations so just went home before 9pm。 Shortly after I heard the cackle of Bangxu women in the living room. Yep, Erjie was back with her friends and they'd probably be staying the night. Absolutely fair enough. Jiuma was cooking some sweet doughballs in sweet ginger soup, and I was instructed to have some. Well I'd not had much for tea, so I managed to eat a couple of them and they were really too sweet for my taste. Erjie was asking how many zongzi I'd be able to take back with me, as Tan had been asking if I was allowed to take them. Tan had asked me to take 5 but I'm hoping I'll be able to fit 10 as long as Erjie doesn't give me more stuff to take back like a load of mushrooms last time.

Then I remembered I hadn't booked the train tickets yet and refreshed the page to find them all sold out! Bollocks, they'd been on sale under 5 hours and the only ones left were far too late for my flight. It's ok, there'll be options, but the train is the far nicer mode of transport. I guess it's a symptom of the New Year period, when so many people are travelling. So a coach it may well be then, or worst case get there a day early and do a hotel.

At some time past 11pm I was getting peckish again, so went to leave the house. All the women asked where I was going and I said I was going for a walk as my back was bad, which was pretty true - it has been playing up today. I decided to go to Tan's uncle's bbq place and nearly made it before I heard a loud "hello!" and looked around to see someone I felt I should recognise. Well he recognised me and bade me to sit down with him and a couple of mates, one of whom was clearly plastered.

He grabbed me a beer as he knew I didn't touch the white stuff, and before long we were chatting away and eating cooked oysters as you do. I think they'd been planning to go home soon as they needed to take their pissed mate, but more beer was ordered and we ended up staying till 1.30am, during which time Tan's uncle from the neighbouring bbq place came over for a chat and a smoke too. The bloke opposite had just come back from where he works in Shandong, and was showing us film of the snow over there. The bloke who invited me was saying he'd been invited to work in Guangzhou for more money (he's a cook in the oyster place and can cook over 300 dishes apparently), but he had a wife and kid here, so preferred to stay put. I also mentioned that living here was nicer than living in a big city, and much cleaner air. Jeez, it was a rather banal conversation in many ways, but it made me feel good, and they kept saying my Mandarin was more "standard" than theirs which was clearly untrue but I'll take it as a compliment.

In fact six more beers were brought over at 1.30am but Xiao Nong had got in contact to say they were drinking at a friend's house and to come over with some beer. So I made my excuses and found my way over there a bit later. I picked up a couple of cases of Snowflake beer and joined the four of them in a small apartment quite near the centre of town. And it was an enjoyable couple of hours mostly playing cai ma as you do, before taking Xiao Nong back at some time after 3.30am.

I hadn't had that much sleep and didn't expect to be awake for the City match at 4am, but socialising really seems to pep you up. Probably for evolutionary reasons. But then Sisi called me to eat at a bbq place just outside Yu Jing Hua Ting. Oh well, people before football I suppose. But I couldn't find where they were, despite a video call and a wei zhi. I walked up and down and handed my phone to a couple of people before she walked up, clearly the worse for wear. She mumbled something about having a drink but she clearly needed to get home, and I decided it would be my responsibility.

I considered taking her on the dian dong che but even she didn't seem to think that would work, so I held her up as much as I could and we slowly shuffled to her place where I made sure she got to her front door. The whole process took over half an hour and when I got back to my dian dong che I couldn't find my bloody keys. They weren't in any of my pockets and for once I hadn't left them in the ignition. It was getting on for 5am and I think we have a second set at home anyway but just as I was about to walk back I spied a set of keys on the floor five feet away. Blimey, I really need to be more careful in the future.

Back home, I found a reasonable stream as the second half started and witness the great Phil Foden complete a magical hat trick at Brentford to keep in touch with Liverpool and Arsenal, and hopefully make it an interesting title race. Then somehow I fell asleep after 6am for just an hour. But my 7am wake up didn't last much longer than sending a few messages to mates.