Tan took the kids to Jiuma’s at 10:30 and with the quiet I got back to sleep and awake at gone midday to see a text saying that the kids were doing the burning of the money for Waipo’s memorial. I was sad and annoyed to have missed it but came over straight after a shower just in time for a meal. I sat at a blokes table and as much as didn’t want it I had to drink beer. I stomached it for an hour before taking the kids back and nearly dozing off for an hour while I lay it off. We were told there was to be a family reunion meal in Bangxu tomorrow and at first I said I couldn’t go due to work but I thought better of it as this could be the last time for a long while and family first etc.
Kids eating at the kids and ladies table
RIP Waipo - now back with your husband
Luwen rang me to say he’d be in his shop with some duck made by his mate that we drank with last night and sure enough 10 minutes later I popped round and there it was. Fortuitously it was teatime so it was fitting for the kids too and we all sat down to eat it before going to the guangchang at 7.30 as promised and Xixi went roller-skating again. We met Er Jie and the bloke Lao He from earlier who I’m guessing is her bloke but not keen on asking, and she confirmed about going to Bangxu tomorrow. Later I checked with Tan what time and she says we’ll be leaving between 10-11am. That sounds rather exact but could mean anything.
Random English words and gobbledegook on Xixi's tee-shirt
One way to get the kids to eat up
I don't know why they can't just write "non-recyclable"
Leilei managed to hop up a curb for the first time
I should have gone to bed early but for some reason I ended up at a KTV place around 11pm for a while and after that couldn't sleep so bought one ETH at 3.30am as if that was some sort of excuse.
A day of work but managed lunch at Luwen’s where he’s still refusing to take any payment, and he told me to come back at 8pm for a drink. That was a little early in terms of work but sod it at 8.30 I took the kids over but they were as bored as one might expect so I let them stay at home at 9.30 as Tan was out. How Luwen can afford the amount of bbq he brought is a question I should have given up trying to ask but I can’t help myself even though I know the answer will not be forthcoming in the near future.
By midnight I was back and tucking in the kids, after which I went for a short ride to see if Huang was about but his restaurant was closed. It’s a far cry from 2008 when I used to go out at 1am and he’d always be there to greet me. Fair enough though he now has a proper restaurant that opens I guess at 5.30pm plus a wife who is now pregnant thanks to the new laws about being able to have two kids. Almost every mother I know here has a second child now or one in the oven.
I thought Tan and the kids might be home by now so after little siesta, at 6pm I looked up some bloke who claimed to be a mate and had pinged me on WeChat a few days before we left London. I had told him I’d contact him when in Pingguo so thought I should be true to my word, so asked him if he had eaten yet as you do. Within a few seconds he’d answered to say he was eating but before I’d finished reading this I saw I was receiving a video call. I was naked but didn’t want to offend him by not answering (or “picking up” as the kids now say - although interestingly picking up is what we used to do with those bakelite phones that these kids have probably never seen the likes of). I managed to tip the phone so only my head was exposed, and he showed me he was with some mates eating and drinking and would show me where so I could come around. I was actually quite grateful as hadn’t eaten more than a portion of jiao zi for lunch, so hopped on the bike to this new area I hadn’t been to before and within minutes was in the mayhem of a bloke meal, with cold red wine thrust upon me (even though on meeting me he recalled I drink beer rather than wine), and then minutes later two women arrived.
To be honest I didn’t recognise anyone, but didn’t tell them. I concluded we’d last met two years ago, and that turned out to be correct, phew. Then the ladies left, and I asked the bloke opposite me why his red wine was a different colour to mine. It turned out it was bilberry alcohol, and he bade me taste it. Well it wasn’t as bad as normal bai jiu is, and I let him know, which turned out in his eyes to mean I wanted a whole glassful, and so he duly poured one full glass.
Then he got a video call from a mate who was in a car - now this one I did somewhat recognise. He was on his way to Pingguo apparently and we had a quick video chat until I told him I couldn’t hear. Then Chen texted to say he was eating and that I should come around, so I said I would in a “while”, which was ok apparently. A short while later I explained I needed to go somewhere, and although this was apparently understood, as I’d finished explaining, the bloke I’d just videocalled from his car turned up with two boxes of beer. Ah...I’d not understood he was turning up in person, and the beers were no doubt for me, so of course I sat down and helped him share them. But of course beer meant cai ma, which for once I did really well at, and of course was video’d so anyone in Pingguo (or Li Jiang) who cares will know.
It wasn’t too hard to make my excuses 20 minutes later, but I had to do a photoshoot with the guys first of all. Back on the bike to the restaurant where Chen was I wondered for the umpteenth time why they don’t ask a little earlier if you want to eat. But I know I shouldn’t - just go with the flow as it’s not like it’s negatively affecting me. The previous meal did not have a great deal I liked, so I was still a little peckish, and this new place had plenty of stuff. I didn’t know anyone other than Chen, but that soon changed after some beers were poured and cai ma started. It was another fun meal, but I had to make my excuses by 9.30pm as the Community Shield was starting at 10, and they seemed to understand.
Lovely meal with Chen
I had a great stream for the first hour, where we played well, but missed most of the rest of the game, including the penalties, but I’ll take that result. Hoping against much hope that Sane will stay as I think he’s become our best player but there’s no space for someone who doesn’t want to be there 100%. Due to the previous meals I only had one beer with the first half and put the other in the freezer to cool down for later. After the match I took the laptop to bed to read the news but for some reason fell asleep soon after 1am.
I got up at a leisurely 9.30, then it sort of turned to 11.30, at which time I turned to work until lunch called. As I didn’t want to waste time I went across the road to Luwen’s but the only “beef” he had was hard offcuts of gristle but I was sort of obliged to eat it anyway, not least because he refuses to charge me anything, but damn it was ghastly and I left most of it. I worked till it was time to go for a massage in an attempt to ease my nerve (literally sciatic nerve). I realised I’d really only eaten two brown eggs all day so when advertising friend invited to go and eat bbq I said I’d happily go a bit later. The massage was actually mostly painful and the woman kept on telling me to relax and as much as I tried I didn’t really succeed - and she kept telling me she was being light.
At least the last few days have seen the rain take the edge off the heat, even if it has made driving the dian dong che a bit harder. But despite the slight impairment to my driving I got to Lao Tong Kao Ji, where last year I had performed, and sitting outside was advertising friend along with five or six friends, who invited me to sit with cheers and arms. I was barely there 10 minutes when the table next to us but indoors bade me come over to have a quick gan bei, and I told my current table I’d be but two minutes. Actually it was closer to 10, not because of too many gan beis, but the three women at the table insisted in taking numerous selfies with me, with the others’ phones providing the light, so it was one of those sitting down with a false smile sessions until it hurt. And of course soon those pics would be shared across Pingguo...well I didn’t try to fight it, I just accept I pretty much have half of my life here beamed up for anyone to see.
I was offered milk, which I abhore, but took it as a gift anyway and hope the kids will like it
I gan bei’d with the guitar doctor (he is a doctor who plays the guitar, not makes them better) then got back to my proper table to the background noise of fairly out-of-tune karaoke and hoped they wouldn’t ask me to go up. Well after a bit they thought about it and as it was getting late I suggested we leave singing to another time when we could plan it accordingly, and they agreed, and I hoped they would forget my suggestion.
Tan and the kids were taking the train to Li Jiang at 10.30 from Pingguo, which meant I was up at 8.30 to see them off, as apparently they need to be at the station an hour beforehand. From my personal experience, at least in Pingguo, you can turn up 20 minutes before your train and do security in 2 minutes but I was not in a mood to argue. I was a bit sad not to be going with them but also aware I’d need to be doing some work and maybe catching up on some socialising.
Sadly I am still keeping track of how many kms I am getting per charge
I skipped breakfast thinking I’d do lunch at Luwen’s as I was by myself, but he was closed for some reason and I realised I’d have to do something new. I found the next closest place and realised they didn’t have what I wanted (dumplings) but felt too embarrassed, as literally no-one else would here, to leave and find somewhere else. So I ordered something, and it wasn’t that bad but rather noodly, and the women at the other table spoke a little English to me. I wish I could change this. It’s not that I don’t like it (I don’t, but that’s my problem), it’s just it is almost without exception that the females less doted with physical beauty speak foreign languages better. And of course it’s not just here, but everywhere. I like to think of myself as being ok (for a Brit) at other languages, but I’d hate to think that meant I was worse looking than I am, but I guess the stats say otherwise.
Work took up the rest of the afternoon and I had no excuse as I was by myself. Yesterday I should have gone to meet Zhang Hua for the first time this year but work and stuff had got in the way. He had joked that he would be in the same place today and I didn’t think he would be but pinged him anyway. He said indeed he was going to the same place at 6pm, so I managed a 10 minute sleep and forced myself to get up to go soon after 6.
I’m really glad I did, and he was happy I came too. There were some football mates of his that came and after 20 minutes we had a full table comprising all blokes plus one woman as is often the case. They didn’t all know each other and the bloke to my left introduced himself as “Peng Dehuai de Peng”, meaning he had the same family name as a famous army general from the past. But that was how I was used to introducing myself. I thought for a moment, and wondered if he was actually introducing me, but by the way he was gan bei’ing with them he clearly wasn’t. So I asked him to repeat his surname, and when I was sure it was him I told him I was also “Peng Dehuai de Peng” and the whole place burst into laughter and applause. This was only the second Peng I’d met in the mainland, and the last was 10 years ago or so. Obviously this called for some sort of celebration, and although I was taking it really slowly on the beer as I had to get back to work, a few more gan bei’s were had to celebrate our mutual surname. I’m trying to think of what an equivalent surname would be in the UK. Something heard of, but definitely not common...like Burley maybe?
Cool meal with Zhang Hua (bottom left in blue) and mates
Anyway I did go pretty easy on the beer but soon after I got home Li Kun called me to say he had my guitar cover and that we were to go to his mate’s camping shop to buy discounted clothes. At least that’s what I understood. Even after 16 years I still find I misunderstand things more than I would like, but as he’d gone to the effort of getting the case I couldn’t not go, despite not having really done enough work. He turned up a few minutes later and I brought my new guitar down to make sure it fitted. It did - snug as a bug. Then I was whisked off, guitar in back of car, to his mate’s camping shop. I performed an in-memory fist pump as I realised I had understood our earlier conversation 100%. Indeed he was having a sale, if indeed there was absolutely no advertising about this fact.
I was a bit worried I’d be “forced” to buy stuff I didn’t want but in fact I found some really good stuff: a tee-shirt that was XXL yet still only just big enough, a pair of perfect zip-off trousers that were so light you barely knew you were wearing them (I’m so gutted I spent 35 quid on a heavy pair from Amazon last month), a pair of the lightest trainers imaginable, and a foldable cap I’d wanted since I saw Li Kun’s last week. All for about 200 kuai, which was a good 70% off the marked prices that I wouldn’t have paid anyway. All in all a good 20 minutes’ buying experience. Li Kun bought much more, and kept saying the prices were “loose change”, which is a very relative concept.
Bargain hunting at the camping shop
Li Kun's charming daughters
Eventually I got back home at 9ish to continue work, until I decided enough was enough; last year I was travelling around the globe and didn’t get much chance to chill, so I took advantage of my base now being Paris instead of London and the extra hour closer and finished at 10pm. I nipped out to get some bbq as a little treat but bumped into two blokes just outside our block. They invited me to eat with them and although my reaction was not to I thought “why not?” and as soon as I sat down one of them went to the fridge and brought out four new “Shuang Pi” Li Quan beer bottles. This was a new one for me and although I was told they were new and expensive I couldn’t tell the difference and they were still 2.8%, so ok for me.
I also found a bit of time to practise Bleecker Street, which has recently become a bit of a favourite of mine
It was very enjoyable to sit with them for 40 minutes or so, partly because of the randomness of it, or rather the unexpectedness. I insisted on actually buying six beers from them just to allow them something back from what they’d given me, and at least they allowed me to pay for them. Back home a minute later I thought I was knackered but still didn’t sleep till 4am...is jetlag still an excuse?
Up at 10ish to the sounds of literally bumping and grinding. Oh no was the A/C broken again? After a few minutes I realised this was not air-con gone wrong but the unmistakeable sounds of next doors doing up their house, and in this case it sounded like next doors were upstairs, not something we’d consider next doors in the UK. Well I suppose there is nothing I could do about it...possibly people had already moved in below us when we started doing the same thing 10 years ago. But it could go on all summer...lordy.
So earlier than expected, and before Tan got the chance to order crappy DFC, I took the kids to eat yumi tang and egg-fried rice. To my shame we’ve ordered the same meal here for two years solid, but at least they mostly finish it and it’s sort of healthy. And it’s always the same 30 kuai so we know it’s basically 3.50 for eating out decently at the cost of a dian dong che ride in the searing sun that we’ll actually miss in one month.
But on the way back it was the hottest it’s been for a good while...there were few people on the streets in vehicles without shade or A/C, and when we stopped at red lights to turn left and found out it would be 80 seconds till we could I was a bit naughty and turned a sharper left to mount the pavement and get home that way just to avoid the sun. The kids appreciated it although I told them there had to be a good reason to break rules.
But there was to be no siesta; the kids were too awake and Xixi had showed interest in the guitar, and given we now had two, I said we should go and find new strings to replace the old ones that must be around three years old now and sound horrid. It was more a journey to be with the kids; I knew we’d find somewhere eventually, and after some stopping in shade we found a music shop on the corner of a road not too far from home, but they wanted 35 kuai for a set. Of course I wasn’t going to argue but had I known I could have bought a better set from home over: note - next year bring guitar strings over.
While we were out we also got a replacement phone cover for Xixi’s phone for 15 kuai, and got a quote for a replacement battery for 80 kuai, which in retrospect we should have gone for as the current one is bulging...having said that the last non-official one we got in London bulged so much as to deform her last phone….
Uncle Yellow texted me in the evening to see if I was free. I then found out it was him yesterday texting me, not Li Kun - I felt like a right tit when I realised I’d sent him a photo of my new guitar yesterday attestifying my love for it, thinking I was writing to Li Kun. Anyway I was free and needed to be there at 6.30. Xixi was out with Tan so I took Leilei and met up with Boss Zhou and then various other people turned up during the course of the meal. I took Leilei back after 8 as he was rather bored then somehow came back and continued eating and drinking till gone 1am. Two of the women there, it turned out, were after foreign husbands, around 50 years old! So exact...I told them I’d look out for them and they genuinely seemed appreciative! Jeepers I hope they don’t hold me to it.
Uncle Yellow and Boss Zhou - really good mates
The cat that was a kitten last year has really become quite sassy
Got back at nearly 3am after a very enjoyable night meeting new people and after having made sure the kids were asleep. Hope to get a lie-in tomorrow.
Up at 10.30 wondering if that is enough sleep to go without an wu shui. However, it appeared that we had all been invited to one of Tan’s ex-colleagues at 1.30 who lives just a little south of Pingguo.... Haiwei also called to invite me for an evening meal and said he’d call back at 5pm with the details, so no likelihood of an wu shui then.
But 1.30 turned to 2pm and we got to the house nearer half past. I started to doubt we were having lunch and my fears were confirmed when I was told we were to drink tea with some more ex-colleagues. I should have guessed it wasn’t going to be lunch - no-one arranges lunch at 1.30 or later. So I texted Haiwei and gave him the honest reason I wouldn’t be available at 5 and he seemed to understand - I’d ping him when I could.
We picked what I thought was a massive pear but apparently it was "just" a grapefruit
I went out for a walk by myself and found a place where I bought some little meaty snacks as I hadn’t eaten all day, before the heat forced me back to find shade. They were busy cooking upstairs and it seems I wasn’t the only hungry one as others were picking on the rooster balls before we finally sat down to eat at 4pm, which if this was an evening meal was rather early - linner? Lupper?
One of three transformers I met on my walk
I suppose it was a mini-reunion meal and there were around 10 of us and wine was forced upon me as apparently there was no beer. After an hour or so it typical style more people arrived and others dropped off. Then a bloke arrived with a box of beer so I had something more palatable to sip on, except sipping wasn’t an option.
For the first time ever I found a sauna in Pingguo - what? The whole place is basically a sauna 80% of the year
Waiting for the meal to be ready from outside the sauna
One of multiple plates of rooster balls, or would it be more appropriate to say cockerel balls?
It was a lovely meal though, especially the company
I had explained my prior engagement with a friend at 5pm and they said they’d take me there “very soon”. As it was of course I was obliged to participate in multiple gan bei’s before they let me leave and some non-drinking bloke gave me a lift to where he was at 6.30. It wasn’t his own house, and it wasn’t his mother’s house, but his wife and younger son were there so it must have been legit. Haiwei made me talk to his older son to come around and speak English but for some reason he was adamant that he wouldn’t come. I didn’t quite get the reason and although slightly happy I didn’t have to speak English, was also slightly concerned. Anyway, Li Kun called me to say my tee-shirt from yesterday’s picture was ready so I went home with an excuse and picked up Xixi to go there in the dian dong che to pick it up with her. I didn’t mention it looked rather like a New Zealand top. I appreciated it but had to leave to be with the kids for the evening.
Later, Li Kun IM’d me to see if I had time to meet up but I was still with the kids so had to decline, but I sent him that picture of my new guitar and told him I loved it! I did make the effort to meet a friend to drink tea though to counteract the beer, and afterwards I was really tempted to go for another massage but I soberly realised it was rather late and should get back. That didn’t stop me chatting with Awl till 4am though….
Oh it was horrid without A/C. I woke up early but still managed a bit more dripping sleep.
Tan called a bloke about electricity and he said he’d come at 12.10 which was in 20 mins so I stayed in rather than go to get lunch, which was horrible DFC delivered for the kids as Tan was about to go out.
The electric bloke arrived and quickly determined that one of the electric switches was not working as it was too hot. He removed the surrounding plastic of the main fuse box to expose a load of wires but didn’t turn off the mains (if that was even an option). Then he tested all the main switches and did some other tests before stating that something was wrong with the water heater. He left, then came back 15 mins later, Tan was by this time gone so I was all by my own trying to understand something quite important. He showed me that when he stuck one end of a voltmeter(?) In the socket and one on a tap there was virtually nothing but when he stuck the other end on the actual water boiler it went to 256 (volts?). Then he said it was dangerous and we shouldn’t take a shower near it when it’s on yi fan wan yi (just in case). Then he said something about safety first, which I understood and appreciated, but was still mindful about his working with the mains without turning them off first.
The one on the left was buggered apparently...cost us three nights' sleep without A/C and saved us probably a quid of leccy
Disgusting DFC again - I will not touch it
As we were talking he mentioned something about Yang Shuo and Guilin, and I belatedly realised he’d turned the conversation to where to visit on holiday, which was slightly weird. Anyway the work cost 80 kuai and I gave him 100 and he tried to send me the change via WeChat, and although I told him it wouldn’t work he insisted. So now I have a useless red envelope that will expire soon. I have read that it’s possible to get a Chinese bank account on a tourist visa - it’s just that it may take several attempts. I should at least give it a go, then I could pay like a local.
So, with a semi-fix for the electricity we now were able to turn on three or more A/C units at a time but we should not leave the water boiler on when it was not necessary...well we could live with that.
Next I planned to take the kids to meet up with Li Kun. I’d decided I wanted to upgrade my rather crappy guitar I’d had for nearly 11 years here so went to the guitar teacher’s place by the stadium we’d gone to on our first day here.
Li Kun insisted on giving us a lift in his white 4x4 though, which given the now searing heat actually seemed like a better idea. We broke into a sweat just walking to his car, and from it to the guitar place. Once there he brought out a selection of guitars as if he owned the place and gave them to me one at a time, as if I could actually value them in a glance. I did make the time to tune them up and pluck a little, but didn’t have enough of it to check each fret for each string. He told me this one was 2600 kuai and it was really good and I told him I was here for a few weeks each year and wasn’t going to frivolously spend £300 just like that. The last one he brought out was a dark shade of green, but it played nicely and the action wasn’t too high unlike some of the others. I took a bit of a liking to it despite its colour, then when he told me it was 680 kuai I pretty much made my decision on the spot. It had the hole for an amp, which I’d been told was necessary (did that mean I was expected to play??) and it just felt and sounded nice.
I told him I wanted the green one and I had the slight feeling he would have preferred me to take the expensive one, but I explained what I saved could go towards other things, and I think he got it. It was a Chinese brand hence the price but I think they all were really. Next he got out a cable and plugged me into an amp and then shoved a microphone in front of my gob. I wouldn’t have minded late at night after a few beers but we’d just barged in the guitar teacher’s shop and disturbed him teaching three young students, and now I had to perform. Well I couldn’t not really, so grabbed a capo (which was included in the price) and banged out Sounds of Silence for the first time soberly in front of people in Pingguo - and they seemed to appreciate it as they asked for more…. So I thought I’d give my fingers a bigger test and let out a couple of verses of Bleecker Street, which guitar teacher appeared to appreciate more than Li Kun as it is rather more complicated than SoS. Li Kun managed to arrange a new case for the guitar as well, but it would be delivered in a couple of days so I took an old one for the purposes of getting it home.
But we didn’t go straight home. For some reason I’d told Li Kun I missed playing the piano, which is very true when I come here even though in previous years I’ve managed to find piano schools and have a little practice now and again. So now, keeping in the musical theme, and rather to the chagrin of the kids, he drove us to the music shop of the keyboard player of his band. Once there I was tempted to have a go on the electric piano, but he seemed to think I would prefer the real piano. Most times I would have done but Pingguo pianos have never been in tune in my experience. In this case it was certainly not in tune but so much better than any other one. I went through some of my Scott Joplin repertoire, knowing full well that no-one had heard any before, and got polite applause from all except my kids, who had started bashing about on the electric piano rather rudely.
I liked it more than I showed...gosh if I lived here I'd definitely get an electric one to wile away the evenings that I wasn't out
My lovely new guitar with my old one which has served me well over the last 11 years (the clothing in the background is the teeshirt Li Kun's group wears - it's as if I'm a semi-member)
Well, it had been a productive afternoon for me, but not so much for the kids, so when we got back I forced Leilei to do some maths homework that he really didn’t want to, and as I had two guitars now, helped Xixi to learn G, C, and D chords on the old one. To be fair she did ok, having had her callouses developed by violin playing over the last couple of years, though it was a bit of a stretch, being full-sized. She took it away and practised in her room, and I didn’t try to force it too much. If you want to learn a musical instrument that’s the point - it should be because you want to. I would be ok with her stopping the violin if she really put an effort into another instrument.
As teatime came around we were rather lazy as Tan was out so I made the kids convenient noodles. I suppose we would call them instant noodles but I prefer the literal translation. I didn’t have any though as I’ve had enough carbs from weak beer, but I realised I’d had no lunch either so I forced myself to have a couple of really light, salty biscuits, the size of those rich tea fingers, before we went to the guangchang again but this time at 7.15pm when it was still quite light.
We went to the basketball area first for Leilei to try out the ball we got him the other day and he was sort of forced to join in with a couple of other people as there were only two hoops, then 20 minutes later we were back at the rollerskating area and Xixi had another 5 kuai to spend on hiring a pair. This time Leilei had brought his skateboard, that he’d brought from UK, so they were both on wheels for a good hour or so and I learnt two new words - liu bing for roller skates, and hua ban for skateboard.
While they were skating I got an IM from a contact in WeChat, but wasn’t really sure who they were. They said they’d invite me to eat in a few days. Fair enough - that seemed jolly nice and I responded as such. Then a couple of minutes later I got a video call to go for a drink with them and some colleagues now. It was a woman who was apparently an ex-colleague of Tan’s and I guess we’d met a year or so ago. I told them I was with the kids and I’d be an hour or so and that seemed ok.
At about 9pm we went straight from the guangchang to the location they’d sent on WeChat. Sometimes locations are not that accurate and indeed this was one of those cases. So when we were off the bike I called them and within a minute someone was outside shouting to us to come over. It appeared that it was a woman from Bangxu with about 14 other friends, mostly other women. As the three of us entered we received a cheer - just for being white (or half-white), which is a bit like positive racism. I guess being on the receiving end of that is literally the opposite of being on the receiving end of “normal” racism.
They proceeded to order food we didn’t want, and beer I did, as the alternative was red wine. The main bloke of the party then stood up and sang a song and which made everyone laugh (except for my kids), and all in all it was a very jovial time. Very random, very silly, and very funny, especially when I gave them my well-rehearsed one-liner - “I fear nothing in the sky, nothing on the ground, I only fear my wife speaking Bangxu language” which put them in fits of laughter. I’ll probably never understand 100% why it’s so funny….
This bloke was the life and soul of the party
We had to make our excuses and leave by around 9.45pm as Haiwei had invited me to his office to talk with his eldest son in English, but I first left Leilei at home as he was tired. Xixi though was hungry and wanted jiu gui yumi, which is a lovely fried sweetcorn dish, so we took the bike to Zhou Laoban’s place, where we bumped into him and some mates having a meal so I was obliged to have a couple of glasses while they did the yumi. Then on the way back we bumped into Zhang Hongping, whom I hadn’t seen for years so gave him a hug, and told him to call my phone so we could meet up soon. I honestly thought he had died six or seven years ago as contact had stopped abruptly between us. Then I finally got Xixi home and left her as Tan was back, and finally went for for a couple of beers with Haiwei, strangely drunken out of champagne glasses, and I think he was happy as I did speak with his son in English for a while.
Back home I should have slept but for the same reason that always happens here I didn’t. 5am swung around and I decided sod it I’d stay up till 6 and go for a jog, but that was the last conscious thought I had.
Up at 6am again! Dammit, or damnit, I did try to sleep but thought I might as well make use of the situation as Liangwen had just IM’d me that he was going for a jog in the guangchang. But my legs were leaden after yesterday’s effort so I made it a walk instead, and as he’d already run 11.64km he accompanied me to Lu Wen’s place for breakfast of beef noodles and insisted on paying.
The boring things in life happen here too, and I was obliged to pay the water and service bill, so went to the place downstairs and interrupted the woman from her brunch noodles. I said I could come back later but she was adamant it was fine. And a few minutes later I handed over 954 kuai. That paid for either the last year or the next - I wasn’t quite sure even though I asked. But whatever the amount it sounded reasonable for whatever it was. I really want to know more about utilities here; it seems I only hear about them when they stop. Like suddenly there’s no water because we haven’t paid the bill, or worse, no electricity. If I just knew what we owed it would be so much easier. To be fair Tan did say that the blue electricity book had our unique number on it and there was some way of checking what the balance was.
I'm not sure this was supposed to add up to 964.48 kuai...
It was quite easy in the end - prepend 040100 to the number in the book and the electronic display shows how much credit you have for electricity...at least it was easy when the person in the shop showed me how...and we had 354 kuai
We needed a couple of things from the supermarket, including a bath mat. Such a simple thing I thought I could get at a local market, but try as I might no-one had any, until I found one in a supermarket for 80 kuai. No way I was paying that much for one. I was at Guan Mart and since I’ve been coming here I’ve been tempted to buy a replica shopping trolley for what reason I cannot explain other than I can’t get one in the UK. One was 20 kuai and definitely less than a quarter useful as a bathmat but for some reason much more satisfactory.
Somehow we have ended up with an autonomous vacuum cleaner that we don't really need but Er Jie gave it to Tan when they went to Baise - hmm...
As darkness arrived I took the kids out for our first together trip to the guangchang this year. They both really wanted to go on the bouncy castles but I had to insist Leilei at least, at virtually 6 foot could not go. Xixi wouldn’t go without him so they both pushed me but I held firm. The average age there was 5 and I wasn’t having them increase that to 7. They were really bitter until I let them have a go on the guns to shoot balloons to win a prize. Then it was my turn to be bitter as after giving them a few goes each and spending a fiver during it I realised the red balloons appeared to be made of tougher rubber than the others that popped easily with the ball-bearings. I nearly had a go at the stall keepers but thought better of it, as we walked away without any teddy bears they’d been hoping for.
Shitty non-popping red balloons - we won't be going back there...
So far the night was a bit of a failure but then Xixi saw all the kids on roller skates. We walked over and women came up to her offering skates for hire and we found out it was only 5 kuai, so she got a pair straight away. She spent the next hour learning to inline skate, half the time holding on to me, and got 100x the money’s worth than from the shooting.
At last some fun on the in-line skates
Drenched in sweat, I had to take them home as Waterman had invited me out at 9pm for a drink at his shop. I duly obliged and had a great time until I was also obliged to meet Haiwei at 11.30 for a few beers. And then Li Kun contacted me for a few more after midnight. Gosh my social life is fairly busy at the moment - this should quieten down soon I think.
Keeping track of the kms on the dian dong che
More food at Li Kun's while the teacher was falling asleep
I probably would have been more annoyed at the lack of A/C had I been more awake and more sober but I made my way to my sofabed in my study and just managed to put on the sheet before slumber called to me in a way that my friends just couldn’t.
Despite the late night I was up bang on 6am and knew I wouldn’t be getting any more sleep any time soon, so for the first time in nearly three months I decided to go for a jog. It’s been a grim time with sciatica but the pain has now changed to numbness down part of my left leg. But the jog itself was pretty painful though I did just manage 5km. For some reason I thought one lap of the guangchang was 2.5k but in fact it’s bang on a mile, so as I turned into the last straight and checked the Strava app I was mightily disappointed to see I wasn’t approaching 5k at all...more like 4k...and the extra half lap I did really took it out of me.
View from my jog
5k round the guangchang
But it least it meant I was up in time for a quick drive to Po Xiang village, outside of which we stopped for a noodle breakfast and people were cutting up their own bits of meat and paying for it in a sort of serve-yourself butchery way that this place apparently was. Indeed some paperwork was done in an office that had more people working in it than was really necessary, and I took the opportunity to have a wander in the searing heat, and came across surprised looking old people as this really was out in the sticks.
I had to go the bank and noticed that 3,4,5, and 9 were not so popular!
Girls about to go in a bigger car than before
Back in Pingguo for midday I gave Haiwei a ring and was happy to hear he hadn’t eaten so I invited him, although he was the one to pick me up and decide where to go, which thankfully was a relatively simple place near his office. Oh these sorts of meals are most satisfying...no beer and just a decent conversation with Haiwei and his second son. I learnt that he is no longer on speaking terms with the business partner from last year. Apparently he had invested money with him and something had gone wrong. Last year he seemed so excited about me helping out in his aluminium venture but I sensed he didn’t really want to talk about it. He also had plans to send his first son to university in the UK or Australia but that appears to be off the cards now too. He did let me pay the 89 kuai bill, which I appreciated. He agreed that you don’t always have to go to a posh place to eat, and that was pretty good value for three people.
Only got to sleep at 3pm at home catching up on the news. Still no blinking wifi so I hope I’m not cutting too much into my 4G - I’d love to know how much I have left of the 30GB, and whether it will stop after one month, and whether the kids’ SIM cards that are linked to mine share the data allowance (better not). Then at 6pm went to Li Jia He Xian with the friend from this morning...yes! two meals without alcohol for the first time this year in China!
Later I felt the duty to go to the bike shop that I’d only spent 15 minutes at yesterday to drink tea. I found he also sells some sort of magic medicine but he didn’t call it medicine as he admitted he wasn’t a doctor. But he didn’t stop telling me how amazing this stuff was and insisted it would fix my sciatic issues. He put some on my leg and wrapped it in clingfilm and it started to get very hot. I had to leave it for 15 minutes but when it came off I said it felt the same, but of course he said I needed to have several sessions for it to work…. Oh yes that old one. Basically with issues that can resolve themselves whatever you are taking at the time it gets better is considered to be the cure...it’s probably the only reason some people still believe in homoeopathy, and this is likely no different. I didn’t say that of course, but said I’d be back sometime which might end up being a lie. I’m sure he believes in it himself and I would have liked to know how much one bottle was but that would have shown too much interest.
The bottle I was too scared to ask how much it was in case he thought I was interested
...but I ended up having a wrap of it and it was bloody hot...not that it solved anything other than my inquisitiveness as to how hot it might be
A Wu and Huang both bade me out but first I went to see Li Kun who was on own at his place so we drank hong cha before I left to meet Huang for the first time this year. He was well and we enjoyed a couple of drinks but not too much as I had to fit in A Wu too. He had said to go to the KTV place by his Boss Zhou’s office, but first I checked the office itself. It was a good idea as there were about 25 pissed blokes sitting around a table and my entry was greeted by more cheers than were necessary. I was pretty much forced to gan bei with most of them and had to play some cai ma too for the next half an hour until about half of them broke off to go to KTV. It was actually a little boring with so many pissed blokes so soon after midnight I made excuses and left them to enjoy themselves and A Wu seemed to understand.
I shouldn't complain - last year I barely went to "sing song"
But I wasn’t that tired and had what I thought was the good idea of going for a massage. I didn’t think I’d actually find one but happened upon one with a woman sitting in it at half midnight. She didn’t seem too pissed off that it was late, though the bloke who arrived just after me did when she said she was closing and I was clearly the last client. We talked about families and our kids and where she was from etc., except then she pulled my boxers down more than I thought was decent but I had explained about the sciatica and it was actually very comfortable.
I got home not a great deal before 2am and slept for one hour before annoyingly waking up at 3.15 for another 45m. What is going on?
Up at a reasonable 8am mainly because it was just so hot and sweaty as it seems when we put on a third air-con the electricity goes. I went for a walk around the guangchang at 8.30 before it became too blistering to do much more. Maybe I’ll try a short jog soon when get up earlier. I should have seen Li Kun yesterday afternoon but forgot his invitation of tea so made amends and went to see him before 10am. At least at this time “drink tea” meant that, and I had a nice 40 mins or so chatting with two colleagues/clients. They were in the business of discussing budget for some facial recognition system. I looked at the papers and realised this was for businesses to keep track of who was coming in and out of their premises, and worked with infrared so it could work when dark. Li Kun reminded me of a music concert he was in tonight and said I should sing a song too. I told him in no uncertain terms there was no way I was doing that. This was not some little pub like last year.
Smackface
Li Kun in his work garb though I don't know what his work really is
Tan rang to say she and the kids were going to Er Jie’s new house in Baise at lunchtime with A Xia and her son Su Liyi. They’d already ordered lunch to be delivered as is the norm now, except we often have to go downstairs to let the delivery people in as the door opener thing on the entryphone doesn’t work and we’ve been meaning to get it fixed for years. They hadn’t ordered for me but it wasn’t necessary as I had leftover dumplings and noodles.
I went to the bank to get out some cash - you can tell which numbers are less popular
Another thing that annoyingly needs to be fixed is the internet. It just stopped this morning, though no-one noticed as they all have 4G SIM cards on their phones...but I don’t on my laptop so tether when necessary.
They finally left at around three, by which time I was bursting for a sleep, and duly did as soon as they were gone. After a refreshing couple of hours or so I was feeling a little peckish but didn’t want a meal as I knew I’d be eating with Li Kun at 9.30pm, so I went to the supermarket and bought two black eggs and some sunflower seeds and a bottle of 0% sugar, added fibre Coke, before Li Kun pinged me at 7 to remind me about the concert. I asked what time he’d be there and he said he already was. I was worried he’d want me there early too so I said I’d come along later.
I was really worried he’d try to make me sing, and this was an outdoor concert at the foot of Horsehead Mountain, a busy area of town. I was so concerned that I appropriated a bit of V into the fibreful Coke just in case the worst came to the worst. And a little into a bottle of fibreful Sprite Zero to take with me. As it was, when I turned up at 8pm on the dot there were not that many people taking up the 50 or so plastic stools. But that became more as the show went on... and was pretty good. Mostly Li Kun’s band, with a variation of guest singers, interspersed with some kids playing guitar and singing. After half an hour I stopped worrying about being called up to play - they were quite organised and had a proper schedule of music. Plus I was hidden away in the dark of the seats and even Li Kun called me during one of his intervals to ask me where I was.
Guitar solo from the concert...so glad I didn't have to go on stage
By the end Haiwei had also called me to go for a drink, but I told him I needed to be with Li Kun first. However, Li Kun said he’d be a good half an hour sorting out the instruments so I ended up paying a quickish visit to see Haiwei at 同老田螺 near our place. As the name suggests, they specialise in snails, which wasn’t ideal for me as by now I was much more than peckish, I was gobblish, but the amount you get out of a snail, and the time it takes, does not make for a very efficient input of energy; it’s basically beer food. It was hot inside despite the fans, so we moved outside, where it was hotter still, but no-one seemed to admit this and I didn’t want to lose anyone’s face by saying so, and to be fair it was less smoky. Cai ma ensued, until I felt I had to go to meet Li Kun. The good thing about Haiwei (well, one of the good things) is that he’ll understand such a motive and won’t try to keep you.
But first I “had” to meet a friend to drink tea close by to where the concert was. There were various soft drink shops around, but we sat with the manager of a bicycle shop nestled in between the other shops, as he poured red tea and chatted with us. It was quite nice but I was aware Li Kun was awaiting my company so after 15 minutes I was made to promise I’d come out with them tomorrow to a neighbouring town while they do some paperwork. Well...why not?
Li Kun and the group were sitting outside the pub I played at last year. It was great to gan bei with them and tell them how good and professional they were, especially the piano player, who didn’t get a big round of applause when he did his solo piece. I managed to stay till midnight, by which time even the effects of the siesta had fallen away, and made my excuses to go home for an “early” night. But for a stupid reason I was up till gone 2am.
Up at 5am as the electricity, and therefore A/C went again. I switched it back on then went to turn on the kids’ A/C and then got moaned at for turning on AC in main bedroom because I woke Tan up. You just can’t win. I wasn’t in the mood to get up just yet so put on a Youtube video of Milton Friedman and although I found him interesting I also found the subject had a slightly soporific effect. I mainly dozed for the next four hours as Youtube auto-played several Friedman videos. I woke up properly when I heard him say he hated the Federal Reserve and wished the system could be replaced by a computer. What a pity he wasn’t around to witness the birth of Bitcoin - I’m sure he would have loved it.
Xixi was also up so the two of us went to register ourselves at the police station. This time they just said to leave our passports as all the details were the same as last year, and they’d call me when it was ready or if there was a problem. We’d been expecting to wait there for up to an hour as per previous years so we took advantage of the time to get provisions from the supermarket before picking up Leilei and going to the underground shopping centre to see if we could find A Xia who moved there three months previously. Boringly we guessed the right entrance (no. 32) and found her shop within a minute, something that could have taken loads more. But A Xia wasn’t there, so as it was getting on for midday we went to the Yumi tang place for lunch, where the woman stopped me in mid-order and finished it for me - she remembered our usual from last year.
As we got back home after sweetcorn soup and fried egg and egg fried rice I received a picture text from Li Kun that appeared to be for some sort of concert for tomorrow...I possibly could have translated it if I’d had a spare hour but that wasn’t happening, so I left it. It was more important to take the kids out to have a drink of watermelon juice and zhen zhu nai cha. And even more important to get a siesta….
A Xia's new shop in the underground mall
I put on Milton Friedman again and dozed from 1.15pm to 3pm. At first I was listening, then two out of every 10 words I wouldn’t hear, this increased gradually until I only recognised a noise in the background. Oh how I wish hypnopaedia worked - I would be on the way to being an economist by now. Whether I knew any more about fractional lending or not, I was certainly refreshed.
Tan told me about a mate who was in debt and shamed by being on a public website. I’d heard about how a number of citizens had been blacklisted, and how they were not allowed to travel by train or plane, and now I knew one. It’s sad in multiple ways. Being in debt itself, but being publicly shamed seems a little old-fashioned though our media does it all the time for different offences. But also from an institutional perspective how did banks make so many “bad” loans? Especially after the 2008 crisis - did they not ensure people had collateral? What will happen if they don’t get the money back? Government bailouts I expect, like in the West, and the banks will get a slight slap on the wrist.
Waterman had invited me out for 9pm. I didn’t really want to eat but met a friend for eight jiaozi for 6 kuai before picking up the bottle of Jim Beam Red Stag I’d bought in duty free for him and waited until he contacted me at 9.02pm to say he was there. I had some memories of being there last year, and certainly remembered the “English” beer with the Union Flag on it that was probably brewed a few miles away. Still, as I’d had a little rest in the afternoon it was more than doable and although I got back around midnight I still didn’t sleep till 3.15.
At the bar with Waterman - a "friendly" between Spurs and Man U
Jeepers I woke up at 3am sharp, and couldn’t get back to sleep due to excitement about being home, so I did some unpacking and put some clothes on to wash before putting on some Youtube video about money and falling asleep again at 5.30 until 9, though Leilei was not getting up at that time.
We needed SIM cards and Li Kun had kindly offered to sort us out as these days you need an ID to get one. In fact we needed three as Tan had already sorted hers out. This meant the best part of an hour in a China Mobile shop, including choosing our numbers. I chose one that ended in the year of my birth and then the date of my birth, while choosing the kids’ ones which would be next to each other. Not that it matters these days - almost everyone uses WeChat so numbers need not apply. The good thing is that apparently my number won’t change again so for those that do the old-fashioned thing of calling a number it should be more convenient. I noticed that for each of our new numbers Li Kun had to do a face ID in front of a screen while touching his ID card. It’s really happening, though I guess not too different from e-passports where they scan your face.
Happily we now have two lifts working in out building, but it means less time for taking pics of the view that I rather like...
Li Kun showing his face ID to help us get SIM cards for this year (and hopefully the future) - who's the person in the background with the Bengals teeshirt?
Happy to be online outside of wifi, I went to deliver a few presents from the UK while Leilei stayed inside. Yang Haiwei knew I was in town and video called me to drink tea so of course I said I would. And it genuinely was only tea, which was a good thing. On the way back I stopped at Lu Wen’s to say hello. Although I was only 30 seconds from home the heavens opened and I was “forced” to stay for a few beers with him. I did explain to Leilei and he was fine as he had food and A/C. But it was nice to get back an hour later and grab an hour’s shuteye even if Leilei didn’t.
Good to meet up with Lu Wen again but wasn't expecting a beer so early...at least it was to help a siesta
I woke up at 5pm to a call from Xixi as they were in Hong Kong and about to board their flight to Nanning. They’d originally told me they would be arriving in Pingguo after 10pm but I worked out it would be nearer 8pm as A Heng was picking them up. So I made sure the house was reasonable but most of that had already been done. Just a question of washing some clothes from last year that smelled a bit really. Then I realised Leilei and I only really had a couple of hours of proper freedom left in Pingguo.
So I contacted Chuan Chuan about the dian dong che and she said it was sorted and was at Jiuma’s place (previously Waipo’s - a bit sad). So we walked over and picked it up and were not too surprised to find it had little dian, but it got us back home and our card still had space for the security to sign with the date and give us electricity. This is probably the longest running electricity card in Pingguo, having been going strong for three years now, but will run out after another 10 or so charges and I dread to think how much the next one will be.
Our dian dong che has an official number plate, and not a bad one IMO
I'll have to work out how many km it's done since we've been away...hopefully it has been used...
My friend Chen then pinged me to ask me to go out to eat. Well why not? We had nothing planned so went to the place not far from home, and thankfully Leilei ate very well. He is coming out of his shell a bit more this year and talking to people in Mandarin in a way he’s been very reluctant to in the last few years. But even he was bored after two hours so excused himself and I took him home.
Shortly afterwards I got a call from Er Jie. She invited me to drink alcohol, which I found slightly surprising, until I found out she really wanted to be with Leilei. So I explained the that he was not with me but I ended up needing to pick him up and walk to meet her at some bbq place where she was eating. On the way there we met Ghanian Steve, and promised to meet up soon for a drink. Almost as soon as we met Er Jie, we left with her and what may be her new boyfriend, and got the second san lun che this year to Tian Yang Po’s bbq place where we met Tan and Xixi, and A Heng, gouging themselves on delicious wares.
So much for being tired - we got home and the ladies showered and then annoyingly as three A/Cs were turned on the electricity went. It happened at 1am so I turned it back on, but had to go where the ladies were sleeping to turn on the A/C again, but it went again at nearly 3am too. This time I also turned the A/C back on. But when it went again at 5am I just accepted I would sleep in the beer bedroom and suffer the heat, but still went to turn on the A/C for Tan and Xixi (and Leilei’s room). Did I get any thanks for it? No, I got told off for waking them up! What justice is there when you do your utmost to make others comfortable and get criticised for it? I can imagine the criticism if I’d not bothered...you can’t win sometimes….
