Yu Dao Hao Men boss's birthday party

There was still some bbq left from last night so that was Tan's and my lunch before I forced myself to go to the gym and did the usual 30 mins weights (mostly for my skinny pins) followed by the elliptical just to slightly counter the lifestyle here. If I truly ate like the locals (i.e. eating breakfast and having rice with meals) I dread to think how much weight I would put on.

It's a lot to do with discipline. It's not that simple of course, and the problem seems to be it's easier for some people and harder for others. I think it's partly to do with the prefrontal cortex. I didn't feel like going to the gym. It hurts. But not going to the gym just puts the hurt on hold a little, in the form of being a little fatter, or less fitter. Similarly holding off on the second portion, or holding off on the carbs (including beer unfortunately) maybe a bit painful at the time, but if you consider the future it should be more doable. Considering the prefrontal cortex isn't developed till your mid 20s you can give the kids more of a free pass. But when it's adults then I don't know. I tend to judge adults a lot on how I perceive how they perceive the consequences of their actions. That's how I logicked myself to go to the gym anyway.

Fang Jia pinged me again to drink tea and as I had no plans I said I'd grab a shower and go to the place she'd send me. It happened to be at a tea and wine shop opposite A Wu's office from last year, and it was genuinely for drinking tea. It was a nice innocent hour or two, during which I played with the boss's daughter who was at that charming age of 6 where they see that you are a bit different and are happy to point out those differences with their fingers. She then started pointing at certain characters on a mural on the wall asking me what they were. I got about half, which was probably 75% more than I would have last year thanks to some study, but she knew them all. So my level of Chinese in terms of reading is lower than that of a six year-old? Jeez...so much to learn. But I got my own back when I asked her her name. Well, after that when she asked me mine. She didn't know "彭" so I chalked that up as a mini victory.

As 5pm rolled round we decided to call it an afternoon as we'd need to prepare tea. We hardly ever actually "prepare" tea at our place but actually Tan has cooked a bit some of the last few days. But no she was out this evening and I'd had a bit of fruit while drinking tea so I wasn't very hungry.

Just before 8pm the boss of the oyster place I've eaten a couple of times with Chen pinged me to go there for a drink. Er, ok, why not? I was getting a little peckish by now anyway so at 8.30, three hours earlier than normal, I took the bike down to Jiang Bing Lu to find a load of tables put together inside with at least 20 people sitting down. He greeted me with a hug and proceeded to tell me it was his birthday today. Oh, I pretended to be embarrassed not to have brought a present and he laughed of course and bade me sit down to a bowl of snake soup, together with the flesh of the serpent.

At a birthday party as you do

They tried to make sure I'd at least had the soup before ganbeiing but the bones in the snake make it rather a slow process for me to manage as I'm not a great fan of chewing it all in my mouth and then spitting out the bones. Part of me that may never change and I can deal with that. Then Chen turned up and sat next to me and so the ganbeis started in earnest. One of the women was from Hainan, where they're supposedly the prettiest women in China. If so she was an exception to prove the rule, but could she drink?

In all it was a very fun evening of course. I don't think I left that late but once again I didn't take the straightest route home. But at least I didn't end up 7km away from home this time.

Watermelon juice in deluge and nice family at bbq

Blimey I had nothing for breakfast or for lunch, such is the heat hear, but I managed some quail eggs in the evening for my first solid meal of the day.

Fang Jia pinged me to drink tea at 8.30pm and I had no plans so met her at a place outside the stadium for a watermelon juice. The owner asked if that tall guy was my son and I didn't need any more description to realise he was talking about Leilei. Apparently he comes here often for a milk tea and talks with the owner. Then another woman turned up, then A Hong, whom I'd not seen for about five years, and hadn't changed a jot. Then the rain turned up and we ran to the two cars while the owners hastily erected the covers, something they are very accustomed to doing. And a matter of minutes later we were back with our drinks.

Next Fang Jia and A Hong asked if I had Douyin, which I did but I couldn't get an account last year as I didn't have a Chinese ID. They thought this was weird and set about trying to set me up with one. After receiving an SMS it still seemed I needed an ID, but I don't know what they did but after giving some (false) info about my age etc. it seemed they had managed to set me up. Set me up at least so I was now following them both. And not only that, "liking" some of their videos. It's hard to understand exactly what they get out of this. They send regular short videos of them smiling or dancing, clearly with beauty-cam on, and from what I can see have a few dozen likes each on average. I guess it's not for money but maybe just that little bit of dopamine or whichever neurotransmitter it is you get from a "like". Well I'm happy to oblige but I'm not going to be checking back every day.

Refuge from the deluge by the stadium

At least it was just a single drink and chat for an hour or so before getting home and Xixi asking for bbq. So I went to where I thought Tan's "uncle's" place was, and went and the lady took me inside to order, as she had a menu there. I tried to explain that I wasn't very good at reading food in Chinese, but she didn't seem to accept that and thrust the menu in my hand and I pretended to read for a bit before ordering some beef and sweetcorn (Xixi's favourites), plus some pork as I might have some too.

I sat down by myself at a table as requested, although would rather have waited outside, so ordered a bottle of beer. A couple of minutes later she had served some beer to people outside but not mine yet, so I joked for her to "wai di wai di!" in the local tongue, to laughs from the other table with people at it. Then I heard "Welcome to China!" in English from the oldish bloke at the table. So of course I replied "thank you!" back. He then said something like "happiest", to which I replied I was very happy to be in China, and I offered to share a beer with him. But the woman who worked there heard me as she was walking past and told me he didn't drink any beer.

Anyway they ushered me to their table and I brought over my seat and sat with them. When he learnt I was English he said that England was the greatest nation in the world. I had to disagree and said that all countries had their good points and not-so-good points, but I got the impression he didn't want to be philosophical about it. However he did call me an ambassador, which I took as a real compliment. He grabbed a plastic glass and I poured him a beer. He was with his wife and daughter, and a cousin, and said they didn't get out much to eat bbq, and had even less chance to speak English, so he was revelling in it.

It was a really enjoyable hour or so during which we got through three bottles (of which only two glasses were his). I managed a few words of English with his 13 year-old daughter but the mum and cousin were Chinese only. The bloke really appreciated it when I made slight corrections to some of his English phrases, and profusely apologised for them. Anyway we exchanged Weixin and maybe we'll meet up again. They insisted on sharing their bbq with me and as I was rather peckish had some succulent beef. I was commenting on how important texture is to me, and how I particularly like crispy stuff. But I used work "脆", which should translate to "crispy", but it seems it also means crunchy, in the sense that pig wrists and duck something elses are, as that's what they handed me. These are definitely not my favourite bbq items but hey. They wouldn't let me leave without giving me more meat and sweetcorn bbq to take back as they had so much. Another very pleasant and unexpected hour here. Oh, and our 25 pieces of bbq plus the three beers came to 86 kuai. 15 pieces at Tianyang Po's yesterday came to 65 and didn't taste any better. Note to come back here.

Pleasant hour with pleasant family at the bbq place

Back home Xixi wolfed down the bbq as I'd been a lot longer than expected, then Tan had some beef liked it very much. Maybe one day she'll actually go somewhere other than Tianyang Po.

Another meal with Haiwei and more drinks at Boss Zhou's

After another home lunch of yesterday's jiaozi Haiwei called me to meet him and his son this evening, same time same place as last Sunday. So I got there and we drank tea with his son and girlfriend for a while. As well as luscious fruits, eggs were offered to me and as I hadn't ate since lunch I thought I'd take one of the bunch which she had apparently boiled earlier today. As I picked it up she said that one had two yolks in it. I was interested as to how she knew so started peeling it but she said it looked a bit off and threw it in the bin. Then she gave me a smaller one that seemed to be ok. I was intrigued as to how she knew that one or two had two yolks and she said it was to do with the shape of the eggs; the longer ones would have two yolks, and to prove it she opened one and indeed it was an egg twin, or at least would have been had it been allowed to live.

She was right - it was a pair of yolks

Anyway it was of little importance as soon we were called to go to eat in another manager's room. It wasn't as grand as last week's meal but the food was. Despite all the meat and fish I so like the scrambled eggs they do here. I know there's a bit too much sugar for my liking (and tomatoes) but the texture is perfect and it doesn't hurt your teeth at all like meat can do.

Haiwei's girlfriend and another woman poured what looked like a sports drink into their glasses, but told me it was sweet alcohol. After tasting it I could only agree. It was basically honey melon juice but I couldn't believe it was also 20% alcohol. Then, instead of putting ice cubes in it, a woman took an ice lolly out of the freezer and broke it in half in its packet, then opened the packet and put the two halves into each of the women's glasses. How to make a sweet drink even sweeter...maybe they weren't Pingguo's slimmest women for a reason.

Putting half sweet lollies into sweet honey melon alcohol...fair enough...at least it wasn't wine

Haiwei, a woman, a man, a cook, and Haiwei's younger son at the meal

But, on Haiwei's girlfriend's advice (which I thoroughly agreed with), I could stick to cold weak beer, and I very much did. The main cook came up to eat with us for a while. He said he could easily put away 16 cans of beer but today he was only drinking tea. I could have asked a plethora of questions why but again just nodded in agreement. The meal was a good two hours in before Tan IMd me in Chinese to say that Xixi wanted some bbq. Ok, fine, it was a good excuse to leave the meal relatively sober and apparently she'd already ordered it for me to pick up.

So 20 minutes later I made my genuine excuses and went to pick up 10 chuan of duck tongues and 5 chuan of duck intestines. Bloody 65 kuai for that seems a lot more than I'm normally used to. But, whatever. A Wu had also pinged me to go and eat at Boss Zhou's place so after dropping off the bbq (which was more for Tan than Xixi) I drove over to meet them.

It was almost the same as last night...95% blokes drinking and eating, and of course I joined it but wasn't massively in the mood. I even made a totally acceptable excuse of being tired and lying down in one of those easy chairs where I feigned dropping off for a while. But tonight there was no KTV, and a bit later I took A Wu home as he was too drunk to drive. Then Tan had a go at me for getting back late but what can you do? Leave a drunk mate to fend for himself? You can't really win unless you just don't go out in the first place but bloody hell it's Pingguo and that would be a crime in itself.

Pretending to sleep at another boss meal at Boss Zhou's

Family meal at A Hua's then raucous drinks and sing song with the lads

As I wasn't back massively late last night I should have been up at a reasonable hour but that hour passed and it doesn't matter here. I got a nice portion of jiaozi plus one for the kids who wouldn't be up till later than me.

For once we were going to go for a friend's meal at A Hua's house, where we'd lived for three months while Xixi turned one year old. In some ways nothing has changed...the table was in the same place and we ate similarly to 13 years ago, except Su Liyi, A Xia's son who is almost the same age as Xixi, was there. And almost interestingly is left-handed as Xixi is, as it seems so uncommon here. Having said that I've met at least two people who use chopsticks with their left hand but write with their right like me. I'd like to think that was a bit more normal as I can justify it myself but whatever...it's just one of those many things I'll never get a logical answer to.

A Wu called me to go to Boss Zhou's place to eat and I felt under no pressure to hurry up. So when I'd had enough yumi I decided to go, dropping off Xixi home first. More raucous roars met me as I walked in of course and did two rounds of ganbeis and a couple of hours later we were at Boss Zhou's KTV place doing more of the same except with music. I've explained to the lads in the UK that I've not had anything stronger than 3.3% (average 2.8%) for about two weeks and they still don't believe it's possible to get drunk on it. But by midnight I was and left not too much later.

For once almost everyone was on the 2.5% beer...and yes it is possible to get drunk on it

New piano place and another meet up with Nong and Li Kun

I arose too late for breakfast but Tan and I shared the two duck legs from yesterday for lunch. I didn't manage the energy to go to the gym again, but a bit later went for a brain workout at the piano place. As it was so hot I checked first that there was space, then went up and put on the A/C, telling them I'd be back in a couple of minutes. 

Then I popped into next-door-but-two to get a refreshing watermelon juice with reduced sugar and it was just what I needed. While there some woman recognised me and started talking to me and I had that awkward feeling again that I'd be expected to remember her. But luckily she brought out some photos on her phone from 2018 of me and the kids holding her younger daughter, who was the person standing next to me now along with her older sister. I had some recollections about the photos at least. Then I mentioned about going for piano practice and she said her house had two pianos and that I could come there and it would be free. She sent me a location which was nearby and I said I may well go over later.

I normally wouldn't, but wanted to see if her piano(s) were an improvement over the normal ones, so at 8.30pm I paid for my session and asked if she was home and indeed she was, so over I popped and after a short video call a door opened and I was let in. Now I was starting to remember...this was the place they used to teach calligraphy, but it didn't look so much like a classroom now. She showed me the pianos but one of them was strangely slotted behind the other and impossible to get to. But I suppose it was technically true that there were two of them.

I sat down and immediately could hear it was a lot more in tune than the one at the music school, if a lot quieter, and no sticking keys either. I played the Mozart piece I'm learning and immediately the phones came out. It was only an audience of the mother and two daughters, so maybe it was the lack of A/C but I started sweating heavily as at times it can be quite a physical as well as mental piece. But I mostly got through it before playing The Easy Winners, which if anything is more physical, and by the end I was drenched.

The mother said the father would be back soon for something to eat so I stayed and worked on the younger daughter's maths homework book. Blimey at 7 years old her reading Chinese ability put mine to shame. I really need to buck up. I had a little go on the piano for Jasmine Flower and had forgotten a lot of it, then it was older sister's time to pluck up some courage and played a couple of pretty nice tunes.

Finally a reasonably tuned piano in Pingguo!

Some blokes had turned up with beers, but I was still going over the younger sister's homework but as I'd had no tea I was really hungry and I knew that something would turn up. So I went to sit with them and have a couple of glasses before a bloke turned up with a lovely beef and greens dish. And then another bloke turned up with a big bowl of soup and deep-fried squid. It's got to the point where my teeth are hurting rather with all the meat but at least the greens and soup were soft enough not to make it worse.

It must have been 10.30pm when Nong pinged to go to the youcha place, so I made my excuses. I was told to come back any evening I wanted to play piano or eat or drink, and I certainly plan to. Nong was sitting with a few friends so it was nice to have a bit of a chat for a while with some new faces for an hour or two. At one stage the boss's wife got up from our table and started playing a guzheng (zither) for a while. No-one seemed to think anything of it but after a while I made sure I clapped after a piece and then the others joined in.

The boss's wife playing some nice guzheng

To continue the musical theme, Nong found that Li Kun was drumming to the guitarist next door in Xiao Bai de Tian, so I paid what I planned to be a quick visit to say hello but "planned" was not the correct word. Of course I had to ganbei most of the people there, but was sober enough not to agree to go on stage...but I told Xiao Bai that I hadn't forgotten about her birthday on Friday and that I'd been practising 有没有人告诉你, which is true but I have a long way to go.

It was gone midnight but I missed a call from A Wu to go to Boss Zhou's so I pinged to see if he was there and indeed they still were, so once again tonight I made my excuses and popped over there to the usual raucous roars as I walked in. So a few more ganbeis but I left soon after 1am with A Wu as even he knew he was too drunk to drive his BMW.

So easy to get a bit of a rest

Ma Laoban medicine meet-up, another festival, and Zhang Hua bbq again

At least I managed to get up by 1pm and found half a changfen that I heated up in the microwave. For some random reason a friend video-called me at 1.35pm and I answered despite not wearing clothes. I had to be a little careful.

Then Xixi pinged me to say they were coming back today instead of tomorrow as the hotel was full. Jeez if I was taking the kids away for two nights I'd have booked two nights in a hotel and not just one. I mean I don't mind at all seeing them sooner but yeah whatever...it's Guangxi and very little is planned. So they were to take the 4.12pm train back home a bit later.

It was boiling hot of course but I decided to go and see Ma Laoban as the last time I tried his office was closed. This time it wasn't locked but there was no-one working. I tried his office though and he happened to be there in his massage chair as you do, while some woman was sitting at his desk. I really enjoy our conversations as he is one of the few who speaks logically (IMO) and this time we talked business.

Apparently this printing business is not going well, and as we were talking about it some woman in a police-like uniform came into the office to request tax. There was a mild argument and Ma Laoban didn't pay as he said he hadn't been doing any business to pay tax, which as far as I could see was very true. 

Then was explaining something about trademarks, and how a couple he registered earlier in the year were not accepted as they were too similar to an existing one, so now he'd registered another. It was for some sort of medicine alcohol but not the type you drink, rather you spray it onto cuts or bruises. Of course I had my doubts but once again thought better of asking about double-blind trials. He also told me that it was a secret recipe, but I'm not sure that's a selling point. At least we agreed that word-of-mouth was one of the better forms of advertising, and he made me listen to a friend of his whose mother had fallen over in the shower but was better a day later after a few sprays of the said medicine.

Ma Laoban's medicine will have to be rebranded

But at least it I learnt a few new words. At least I will have learnt them if I remember them; it's not every day you use "trademark". We chatted until it was tea-time, and apparently it is liu yue zhu liu (early June (lunar calendar) festival) and it is customary to eat with family.

But first I walked to Li Kun's to give him a couple of spray fragrances for his wife. I found he was about to leave his office so managed to give them to him and walked back and saw a women cooking duck and chicken legs so asked for three of each. She asked if I wanted lajiao and I said I'd better not at the kids mightn't want it, so she persisted in giving me three bags, each with some differing lajiao which I'll never remember the names of, plus about a dozen little plastic bags, presumably to use as gloves for eating.

Although Xixi had said she wasn't hungry, she ate two of the chicken legs and Leilei had the third. I managed a single duck leg though Tan didn't eat. Well at least we'd managed a semi-family meal all for 36 kuai plus two duck legs left over for later.

Then at 10pm Zhang Hua asked me to pop over for a couple of drinks so I went there a bit later. Leilei was playing basketball in the courts again which is a good thing. He pays 3 kuai or so to get in and I understand plays with some of the blokes there, so hopefully getting a bit of Chinese practice in. Well he popped over for some bbq before heading home, while I stayed on for a while, ending up going to the second floor to performs some ganbeis with a couple of tables there. At the first table they made me try some greenish baijiu, and it wasn't quite as bad as baijiu normally is. Unfortunately they wouldn't let me go back to beer and I had to do a whole glass in the next 15 minutes or so. The next table didn't force that stuff on me luckily.

Leilei, Zhang Hua's ex-colleague, and Zhang Hua enjoying some nice bbq

Then some bloke who'd pinged me to have a beer as I was on my way to Zhang Hua's pinged me to ask where I was. Ah, I'd told him I'd meet him for a beer a bit later, and it was already quite a bit later. So at 1am I made my excuses and went to meet him at a bbq place nearer our home, but managed to get back by 2am at least.

Last stop of the night...

A Hoc meal with Huang Lei and Long'an mates

I somehow got up at 9.30am to see off Tan and kids to Nanning for two days, then got back to sleep till 12pm. Huang Lei called to eat later today and I nearly used that as an excuse not to go to the gym but it was only 4pm, so forced myself after heating up food from yesterday. At least I managed 35 mins of weights and 27 minutes of elliptical but it's probably not enough to make up for excessive intake recently. It was also annoyingly busy, and I was by far the oldest person there, not to mention one of the few who turned up on their own.

I grabbed a shower and a couple of beers before getting to A Hoc's fashionably late at 6.15pm, only to wait another 20 minutes for some mates from Long'an to turn up. But it was a cracking meal as A Hoc is a cook by trade. Tan pinged me to ask me to pick up a couple of deliveries and I was about to use that as an excuse for a break from the meal but a bloke came to deliver a gas bottle and was soaking wet. I saw it was pouring outside so I wouldn't be heading back in a hurry. Anyway they weren't due back till Friday so there was no rush.

Cracking meal with mates from Long'an

We eventually left around 10pm when it was time for the designated driver to do his job. At least they are really strict about that sort of thing here (if not in the towns themselves but between them). But I was barely back home when Zhang Hongping pinged me to say he was in the same place as the other night and once again I thought "why not?". It wasn't the most interesting of evenings but it whiled away enough time till the 3am Holland v England game which I decided to watch at home I think. It was a win, but not a convincing one, and I'm convinced we'll lose to Spain on Sunday night.

Mango fever again

Lunch was once again a home-made affair, but barely had I finished when Ma Yong pinged me to go to Tiandong to eat mangoes, as one does. But yeah, why not? I said I'd need 20 minutes in order to get a shower and of course 10 minutes later I received a photograph showing that he was already waiting outside. Well he'd have to wait. Tan had also asked me to pick up another couple of deliveries so that added on another 5 minutes, but hey, time doesn't seem to be so precious here.

I finally got into Ma Yong's car at around 2pm and we drove the hour to Tiandong. It probably would have been quicker on the train but that's not the way you turn up here. When we did turn up it was just a big warehouse with quite a few people boxing mangoes as you do. We had a few glances before going to the air conditioned office for a few cups of tea and lots of tasting of mangoes. Blimey I had at least four halves of different types of mango: 桂七、台农、、贵妃、大金煌。 They were all delicious of course.

With Ma Yong going to Tiandong

Pan ge's fruity place

Lots of types of mangoes

Then came maybe the real reason I was there today. I'd already posed for photographs and done a couple of films, but Ma Yong now produced a Bluetooth microphone he attached to my shirt. I had to practise a couple of lines saying how much I liked Pan Ge's mangoes. Then I realised Tan had said that in no way should I do any adverts as last year one video went relatively viral and the mango company probably made a lot of money out of it. She'd even complained to Douyin but it wasn't upheld. Wo ge ren don't really care about it but fair enough I should respect that. But anyway I did my bit for a short film and said to only share on Weixin groups but not Douyin.

Copious cups of tea later we finally left, me with a huge bag of mangoes plus two boxes full. On the way home Tan called and asked to speak to Ma Yong who was driving. It was hard to make out exactly what the conversation was about but it transpired she had already seen a couple of photos from this afternoon and was concerned it would be another repeat of last year. So I told her I'd told them to only put stuff on Weixin groups and not Douyin, and to be fair Ma Yong rang the boss Pan Ge to tell him not to put anything on Douyin. I felt a little bit bad as maybe the many mangoes I'd been given were partly in thanks for providing some advertising for his company.

With Pan ge and a mate and mangoes

Back home I realised I was slightly hungry, despite the mangoes in the mid-afternoon, but some bloke pinged me to eat with him and a couple of mates so that was sorted. Except it was a couple of miles away and I hadn't charged the dian dong che. No problem...I'd try to get it there and charge it while eating. And indeed that's exactly what I did. I didn't recollect who the blokes were, but guessed they were from watching football a few days ago. The food wasn't amazing but it filled a hole, and after charging the bike for 90 minutes I made my excuses and went to Li Kun's place as he'd pinged me to have a beer. That was more fun of course and we ended up talking about the Chinese army and how it was so strong now. I didn't bother asking too many questions.

Having a late bite with some mates

Having a later bite at Li Kun's with his son playing with army vehicles

家里有事 - 回家

It hasn't rained for a while and the heat's become oppressive enough to affect my appetite so I forced myself to down a brown boiled egg and a yoghurt for lunch, if only to provide a means of improving the efficiency of my supplements.

In the afternoon Tan asked me to pick up her delivery but the place was closed although a sign had been put up with some handwriting scrawled on it, but I somehow managed to decipher it and sent it to Tan as if to prove something. Well I was happy at least, even if she wasn't that she didn't have her delivery.

家里有事 - 回家

Well it's only a Monday so I shouldn't expect to be invited out so I ate half of one of the the two beef patties Tan had ordered for lunch but neither of the kids had touched. I probably should have had a whole one but you never know if you'll get a last minute invitation. Well, almost inevitably it did happen closer to 11pm when I got a message from Zhang Hongping asking "Do you want to come out for a midnight snack?". So I said "sure" and a few minutes later found myself near Zhang Hua's place, and in fact one of his mates from the other night saw me and asked where I was looking for, but luckily Zhang Hongping (or Wu ge as he likes to be known) turned up and showed me into a tiny wine shop where there were a few blokes around a table.

Of course there was food, and more was delivered and the delivery bloke stayed for a couple of glasses of baijiu, whereas I stuck to the beer Zhang Hongping had thoughtfully brought along. Presently two "beautiful" ladies turned up. "Beautiful" in Hongping's parlance if not mine, but at least it balanced out the evening a little. Finally at 3ish am I left and took Hongping back to his place which is luckily near ours, and when home made the effort to get the reading light so I could light up the QR code to charge up the bike.

"Beauties" in Zhang Hongping's words

Managing to charge up the dian dong che at 3.40am

Haiwei meal and GP

Ooph yeah I wasn't up that early and it was another rather warm one. Although I decided against the gym as it was the weekend, I at least managed to get a bit of piano practice in. Haiwai had called me to meet at the International Hotel with his sons to speak English at 4.30pm so I managed to get to the music place by 3.40pm but my normal room was being used. I found a room but the A/C unit was on the other side and despite setting it to 20 degrees it never made the room comfortable. Within minutes I was sweating bullets and despite the camera overlooking me I undid all my shirt buttons to no real effect. I soldiered on until 4.30pm but for once didn't get a massive kick out of doing it. Li Kun's mate had showed me a new place the other day and I think I'll try to check that out next.

So at 4.30pm I left and got to the Pingguo International Hotel (or at least one of them) and met Haiwei on the 2nd floor where he was with his girlfriend in her office. I didn't realise she worked there but it seems indeed that she is a general manager with her own office. It was of course time for tea and fruit and a few minutes later Haiwei's second son arrived, so I did my bit talking to him in English. Bit by bit more people came and then we were told we were to go for a meal next door.

What followed was a typical sumptuous meal and Haiwei's elder son also turned up, along with another lady and her 18 year-old son. All in all it was a really enjoyable meal and after a while Haiwei and I cracked open a couple of beers to make it more so. I spoke as much English to Haiwei's second son as I could until 6pm when his mum came to pick him up, and spoke a bit more to the elder son. I also managed a few words with the shy 18 year-old to his mother's delight as he clearly had no intention to speak English despite doing five hours of it per week.

Some of Haiwei's son's homework

Yet another sumptuous meal

There was a wedding meal going on next door but I wasn't tempted to join in as I might have been in the past. We just spent a very pleasant couple of hours eating and chatting until about 8.30pm when we decided to leave. When I got home I wanted to take the kids out but it wasn't happening until Xixi opined that she wanted to learn to drive the dian dong che again. She'd managed a few seconds last year and I knew she'd be able to do it, so I drove her to the hotel car park (or parking lot as they now say). Damn, every time there was a person walking past she'd stop and get out her phone as she didn't want anyone seeing her. It took an age but finally she had a bit of confidence to ride it for more than 30 yards.

Xixi finally getting the hang of the dian dong che

Then Leilei turned up and she wasn't in the mood any more so we went to Guanmart to pick up some beer and chocolate as you do. Back home the kids went to chill and then at 10.45pm Li Kun pinged me to say he was at Xiao Bai de Tian. I would have come over straightaway but I was watching the GB Grand Prix and it was one of the best I've seen, thanks 100% to it being a great track and there being rain. Jeez please get rid of Monaco\!

But I didn't want to be rude and turn up too late so got there around 11.15pm and managed to follow the last few laps on the tv anyway. Congrats Hamilton on his 9th British GP and first in ages. We played a few rounds of mopai and I lost every one, before a couple of mates turned up on another table so I went to ganbei with them and chat a while. Apparently someone was about to deliver some special raw fish so I had to wait at the table until they did. Leilei also duly arrived to eat bbq and we found ourselves in the midst of another photoshoot with a prettyish girl on another table plus Xiao Bai, the owner's wife.

Leilei enjoying being the focus of attention (not his baba of course)

Apparently it is her birthday next Friday so I promised to learn a Chinese song and sing it then. It's so easy to make such promises after a few beers but I'd better stick to it. Li Kun left at 1.30am soon after Leilei, but somehow I didn't leave till well gone 4am.

Football x2 with Pingguo and Yinggelan with Zhang Hua

I knew it would be a late one tonight what with England playing Switzerland, so didn't try to get up too early. And tamely decided not to go to the gym as it was the weekend and last time it was already pretty busy. So I decided to do a bit of shopping at Guanmart. Annoyingly the still haven't moved my mobile number to this summer's one so I have to read out last time's one but blimey if that's not a first world problem! Not to mention the beer I normally get has gone down from 9.90 to 8.90 kuai for 6 cans. A quid for half decent 3.3% beer!

8.90 for six of the strongest local brews in the supermarket!

Back home I realised Pingguo Haliao were playing at bottom-placed Jiangxi Lushan, but I couldn't find a stream online. The Wuming Weixin group seemed to suggest some people were watching it somewhere but I couldn't work out where so I went to Wuming bar and found it almost empty. On a Saturday night at nearly 9pm. Blimey. They were showing the game but I didn't really want to watch without an atmosphere. The bloke I was sitting with in the bar suggested pinging Zhuang Hua as he was his friend too, so I did and he got back to me saying he'd just opened a new bbq place but he wasn't there at the moment, but said he'd send a weizhi and indeed it was only a couple of minutes away.

So I ended up watching the match on the big screen in Wuming bar with a handful of people. I'd missed the first half but we'd had five shots on target and should have been well in the lead but it was still 0-0. Then finally in the 66th minute Bammou scored a  neat left-footer and that ended up being the final score. So 3 points but we'll need to play much better than that to have a chance at getting promotion.

Zhang Hua pinged me on the final whistle to say he was back, and the bloke who worked at Wuming bar wouldn't let me pay for the two bottles of beer I'd consumed during the second half. So I went over to his new bbq place by the basketball courts to give him a big hug as we hadn't seen each other in...err...only four months or so. Some other bloke was there and we opened a beer before Leilei pinged me to say he was also nearby so he came by for a bite to eat.

Zhang Hua's new bbq place he only opened two weeks ago

I was due to watch the England - Switzerland match with Li Kun at the usual place opposite our place but as I was here I decided to support Zhuang Hua's new place and pinged Li Kun to ask if it was ok to come here. Of course it was. So at 11.30 I excused myself and popped home to change into my 21 year-old England kit and also to charge up Jiuma's bike that Leilei had plugged in. When I got back there were were three tables put together and a good 12 people or so, and loads of goodies to eat. There was one bloke particularly eager to see me as we'd met a few years ago. He was wearing a City top and gave me a very drunken hug. Needless to say he didn't last the distance.

A friend from some time ago

An excellent array of food even if the match wasn't so good

There were the perfunctory photo shoots before Li Kun turned up at midnight as the match began, followed by his wife and younger daughter a bit later. Yes it was another poor affair from England but thanks to Saka we made it to extra time. I could have done without that, or the penalties, but at least we did well for once. Somehow I managed to watch some of the Holland - Türkiye match later, falling in and out of sleep as the former won, slightly unfortunately as the latter have been one of the better teams to watch.

Getting the dian dong che sorted and more late night footy

I awoke to read the fairly obvious news that Labour had a landslide. I didn't realise that they only had something like 1.7% more of the vote than last time, but Conservatives had lost 20% and most of that to Reform. So it was like a massive protest vote by erstwhile Tories who couldn't bring themselves to vote Labour. But that translated into so many more seats for Labour. I'm really not sure what I think about PR now (or what it would have been with PR and 15% Reform MPs)...maybe the French system is least worst.

By 7pm I realised I really had to find the bike, so checked Google photos again and for some reason now it showed a map! Despite the zero lat and long yesterday. What had happened overnight? I had not expected anything to change, and I'm aware Einstein said something like the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing time and time again and hoping for different results (aka the Southgate Syndrome). Well it wasn't time and time again, and there will be a reason for it. Maybe it takes time to process that aspect of the photo and they do it in batches rather than for every single upload. The only issue was that it showed the red marker in the hillside. I guess this is because I've heard when using Chinese GPS they don't give you exact results. But it was near enough where I thought it would be.

Outside I got on Jiuma's dian dong che and had a quick thought: if Google photos is showing the map view then surely the phone will. I opened it up and eventually found if you swipe up it revealed a map view and you could click on a link to open it up in Google Maps, which gave a much more accurate pin. Why it was more accurate I don't know but won't complain this time. Some of my photos in Google photos say they were taken in Peru and Vietnam and I've not been there recently or set the VPN to use these countries.

Still, it took 25 minutes to find the bike, but it would have been three times that on foot. And it was getting pretty dark too. Next I had to work out what to do. I walked up the road 50 yards and found a dirt track leading to a small place with a corrugated roof under which I could see a light. I walked down and saw a woman get and look at me, so I told her I was rather embarrassed but could she point me to a place where I could charge my dian dong che? She looked a bit puzzled and called for her husband, who leapt out and I said the same thing and he just said plug it in here and have something to eat! This is so Chinese...at least Guangxi.

I offered to pay but they were having nothing of it, and sat me down with a bowl and a beer which was handy as I'd not had tea yet. The next half hour was a very pleasant chat together with a few photos which were shared on his Weixin group of course. The beer went down well and I was quite comfortable before I realised I needed to get Jiuma's bike back, so I explained and said I'd come back in an hour or so to pick up my bike, which was fine by them.

Back home Leilei was waiting for Jiuma's bike so I let him have it. I needed to do a little shopping, but more importantly I needed to learn how to book a hire dian dong che. So after the shopping I pinged Li Kun as I knew he'd be able to help me. But at his office he'd just popped out to pick up his son. Ha, no problem Li Kun's mate said he'd take me in his car. And just like that I sent him the location and we were there 10 minutes later. I had remembered to bring two packs of chocolate for the family's two sons, but when I got there only the grandpa was there as the parents were putting the kids to sleep. So I explained what the little present was, and to put it in the fridge. He said to come back one evening for a meal and I think I probably will.

Having tea with a kindly family who let me charge up the dian dong che there

Li Kun's mate insisted I follow him back, and thankfully the two hours' charge was more than enough to get back, using a much more direct route than I'd taken the other night.

It was now 10.30pm and Li Kun was there with his wife and son, as well as two other mates. He told me off for saying Austria would beat Türkiye then asked me who would win out of Spain and Germany. I said Spain were the better team but Germany had the home advantage, so based on similar statistics for the former game I reckoned Germany would shade it. So he said he was going to bet (not real money) on Spain, and we were to go out to watch the match at the same place as the other day; if Spain won he would pay and if Germany won I would pay. Damn, I actually thought Spain would win.

After a few glasses of tea and beer, we left 20 mins before the game and I made sure I plugged in the dian dong che at ours first. It was nice to have the six or seven of us there (Li Kun's wife and son and another wife and son also came), and it being a Friday there were far more people eating outside than last time. Well it was a pretty ok match that excitingly went to extra time though Tan called to ask why out so late again. Bloody Spain did it late into extra time but it was the result I'd have taken before the "bet" and I happily went and paid the 264 kuai that had kept us fed and watered for nearly three hours.

Late night footy watching after some had had to go home to bed

Nosh with Nong and the lads

After last night's shenanigans I was up too late for breakfast for the umpteenth morning in a row, and decided against going to the gym lest my shoulder was still healing. So for once I had a somewhat home-cooked lunch together with leftovers from the meal yesterday， which was actually just what I needed. I planned to go and find the dian dong che from the early hours of this morning, but when tapped on "Information" of the photo I took I didn't see much more than the aperture etc. But I remembered that on Google photos it showed me on the map where the photo was taken.

So I uploaded the photo and went to look at it but bloody Google photos only gave me the option of adding a location. I checked my phone and had definitely enabled adding location tags. So back on the laptop I looked at the metadata of the photo and chose to open it up in Google maps but bloody hell it opened it up at 0.0 and 0.0 lat and long so I was none the wiser. Annoyed, I let it lie for a while. I had a rough idea where I'd left it.

For tea I ended up getting a portion of jiaozi from the usual place, and having a grape with the boss as I was waiting for her to heat them up. Back home a little later Nong pinged me to ask what I was doing. I said not a lot and did she want to meet up for a beer. She said yes and where? I didn't know where so said to wait a little. I then pinged Li Kun to go for a beer and he also asked me where. Well I thought this was my chance to invite a couple of people but shortly after Li Kun said he hadn't slept well last night and wouldn't come out. Then Nong said she was going to go for a drink after her drumming practice so I still didn't know if I was the inviter or the invitee.

Thankfully a while later she called me to say she'd pick me up in ten or 20 minutes...she'd call me when she left her house. So 10 minutes, and half a can of beer later, she pinged me to say she'd arrived. Fair enough...I should be used to that now. So we drove to the new place over the bridge where we'd been to a musically-themed meal  earlier this year and I'd introduced her to Li Kun and Huang Lei. The usual guys were there and we enjoyed a really pleasant late night with some sheng yu and good chat, and a new card game for me that I didn't do too badly in, although Nong was on my side helping.

You literally cannot just have a beer with friends here

2am came around as it usually does, and eventually the night was done, and thankfully Muscle Boss offered to take me back in his car. He opined that he didn't like electric cars due to their lack of range. I considered saying that they already do 500km and within a few years it may be double that but what was the point? I'd had a cool evening after a wee chat with the lads at 3am took some sleeping help and couldn't even join the next Zoom call. Whoops, I'd forgotten about picking up the dian dong che...that will have to be for tomorrow.

Gym, baby's 100th day meal, more bbq and getting lost miles from home...

After late last night I didn't get up till nearly lunchtime to find that Jiuma had brought us some changfen. I couldn't manage a whole portion so snipped off a third and managed the rest with a yoghurt as it would be gym time shortly. Indeed this time I spent most of the time in the VIP area with Tan and we focused on legs, using a pointy roller first of all to prepare the muscles apparently. We did quite a few things using weights and she's actually quite good at lifting them but although I could do as well I said it was harder for me as I had longer legs. She disagreed but I thought better than to stand my ground. We finished off with only 10 minutes on the elliptical but really by then it was 3pm and we were both knackered.

Tan doing leg exercises at the gym...I followed of course

A bit later I went to pick up the shoes I'd put in to clean a couple of days ago. This should have been the simplest thing ever. I may not have had the ticket but I had a photo of it. It clearly said it was number 0000537. But the bloke flicked through his receipts and went straight past 537, going down to 520. I interjected and said he might want to go up again but he disagreed. Now sometimes I'm very wrong, and I thought this might be one of those times...I mean it's so obvious you find the ticket with the same number right? So I waited as he flicked down again, and the he started flicking up again but annoyingly went past 537 to 540. By now I was slightly annoyed. I focused in on the ticket number on my phone but he said he didn't agree. Didn't agree with what I'll never know. Eventually he started counting down from 550 and I tried to stop him at 537 but he didn't want to know. Finally he called his wife who came and immediately found 537 and my shoes in under 10 seconds. I really hate to have any prejudices against anyone but how in heaven's name the husband couldn't have worked it out I'll probably never know.

Surely the number was clear enough‽

Unfortunately it seems the dian dong che is broken. I know it kicks a bit under acceleration but Leilei said it had just stopped now and when I checked I saw he was right. On the way back from the gym I'd seen a place that was inflating the tyre of a dian dong che and I asked the bloke if he fixed them too. Unfortunately I asked the owner of the bike rather than the owner of the shop, but he didn't seem to care, and when I actually asked the owner of the shop he answered in the affirmative and I said I'd be back in half an hour as it was just across the road from our complex and I wouldn't want to wheel it any further.

But of course as soon as I got out of the shower it showered the way it tends to here: a lot. Taking the bike out would be impossible without getting soaked, and my thoughts of getting in a piano practice also got diminished as we were to go to Tan's cousin's baby's 100th day celebration at some time. At what time? I'd just asked Tan and she said she didn't know as no-one had called her. But by now it was already 5pm, and by the stink of tobacco I could tell Tan's brother or A Heng were here. It was the former. Then Tan announced the taxi was coming just like that. I mean at least give me 5 minutes.... Whatever, I put on a top and shoes and walked to the main gate to find them in a didi che and shouting at me to hurry up. This is well and truly Guangxi!

It was of course a huge affair, and the opportunity to meet even more relatives for the first time or the first time in ages. It would have cost a ton to hire out the place and to feed the 300+ people but here the red envelope means you effectively pay a fee per person and I've love to know exactly how much that was. So it's a lot more like going Dutch, or AA zhi as they say here, even though that never happens for a "normal" meal.

A Heng, Qi Qi gege, Chuan Chuan, a cousin, the husband, the wife, Tan and their baby, me, Leilei, Xixi

After the main meal was mostly done, someone from a neighbouring table came to ganbei with me (Tan had reminded me to bring some beer over earlier when the hosts were coming round toast each table, but I wasn't really able to drink by myself). I thought I'd better reciprocate the manoeuvre and looked over towards that table to see Lu zong beckoning for me to come over. I didn't need a second invitation and brought a can of beer with me and was immediately given a chair and a bowl etc. There were three old men to my right, one of whom I recognised, and my can of beer was promptly taken out of my hand and I was poured a glass of baijiu despite my protestations. I mean real protestations...normally I can convince them that I can only drink beer but on this occasion they were having none of it. I suppose it was a celebratory occasion, and they were old gents, so for only the second time in 20+ years I gave in. I asked how strong it was and they said 35%, but luckily it didn't have that awful taste that most of them do. And at least with baijiu, unless it's a tiny thimble, you can have a pretty little sip. So I pretty little sipped my way through three glasses of cheersing, during which time I invited Tan over to meet some of the people. And then I had a quick look at the bottle...22%...so not that bad at all.

Celebrations in full swing at the baby's 100th day meal

A view of the Guangxi specialities on offer

It transpires that Lu zong's mum's sister is Tan's mum's brother's something or other. Either way they are blood related and they'd never even met before! I used to plan on making a family tree on this side of the family but I've pretty much given up hope now. After an hour we were one of only about four tables with people on them, and I was obliged to stop at one of them as it was on my way to the loo. At least they let me caima with beer. A bit later one of the blokes said he had arranged a KTV room downstairs, so we went down there where at least beer is expected. But I would have expected at least a couple of women. Two eventually turned up, and I did my "Pengyou" number of course, before Li Kun pinged me to go to his office for a drink. I sent him a pic and showed I couldn't really leave and invited him over but he was working the next day and couldn't do a late one.

But I was getting a little fed up at KTV, so when Chen pinged me to go for a drink again at soon after 11pm I made my excuses and somehow got home to find that Leilei said the dian dong che was now working, so we guess it must have been some water that got into the system. That was lucky as I could take the dian dong che to the same bbq place I'd been to two days ago. So it was another late one with these mates, but at least this time without a downpour. I managed to leave around 2.15am and a while later found myself strangely lost. I'd taken the scenic route back as you do but it was a very long way round, so when I checked where I was I was aghast to see I was a good three miles from home, but not as aghast as when the dian dong che ran out of dian a couple of minutes later. Blast, I still can't use the blue electric hire bikes like even Leilei can, and I'd promised myself to sort that. With no ability to hail a didi che either there was no choice but to walk it. But I was sober enough to have an important idea; I took a photo of the dian dong che - not because I'd recognise where it was in the pitch dark, but hopeful that the photo would have the coordinates so I would be able to find it again soon.

It was 2.45am but I didn't have much choice other than to march the three miles home. It was still wet and once I slipped and fell down and hopefully my favourite linen trousers are not ruined. Eventually I got home a bit before 4am swearing something. I don't remember what...maybe just swearing that I was an idiot. I was tired after the gym, and drinking, and walking, and it didn't take me too long to get to sleep.

Meal with Tan then drinks and footy with Li Kun and mates

A late wake again meant lunch was leftovers from the waimai Tan had ordered earlier. At tea-time we couldn't get the kids to be interested in coming out, so Tan and I decided to go out ourselves to Xiao Tang Zong where we'd taken the kids a couple of evenings ago. It wasn't stiflingly hot so she agreed to walk the 10 minutes there as the dian dong che was charging. You can't really beat 39.80 kuai for a nice sit down meal, and after we walked to A Xia's shop to pick up Xixi's new shoes.

"Life is be you tiful" - like it!

I still had the umbrella given to me last night, which I intended to return even though Tan had said it wasn't necessary. So I started walking in the direction of Jiang Bing Lu but after 100 yards I could feel something in my tummy and I didn't want to be stranded so headed homeward bound. Accompanied by Awl of the phone I only just managed to get there on time before having a real Pingguo ladu moment. I guess it was too soon to be the meal I'd just had with Tan so guessing it was the takeaway lunch. I'd only had a couple of beers before we went out so it couldn't have been them.

So, feeling re-invigorated, I set off back to Jiang Bing Lu, but after 5 minutes I passed by Li Kun's office and was shouted at to come in and have a glass of beer which I duly did. Li Kun and one of the mates were playing a fighting game online on their phones, and the other, little, bloke was pouring them tea and himself beer, so I joined him in the latter. I ended up spending two hours there, while all the time the two of them were on their phones, but at least the little man brought out some fried chicken and cooked some slices of black pudding.

It was well gone midnight and I'd said I'd be going to watch the football so I left and they said they'd be there in a bit. I passed by the local shop to pick up a couple of beers then dumped them in the kitchen before going to one of the places with a big screen opposite the house. For once there was no-one watching, but once my three mates arrived they cleared the table next to the big screen. I told Li Kun to order and that I would pay, and he said I should say “你点菜，我来买单” and that we could do this every day if I wanted. It was an ok watch but we left soon after the final whistle as Li Kun had to be up in under six hours. Although I was pretty knackered I managed to stay up to see the first half of Austria Türkiye, which was amazing and enabled me to somehow stay up for the second half, which was even better. If only England could play with the enthusiasm of either team in that match. Congrats on Türkiye going through.

Pain, piano, and double bbq

Managed to get up soon after 10am and Tan was getting ready for the gym. I would like to have gone, and may not have regretted it but knew I needed a bit more kip so after a pint of water with a vitamin tablet I slept for another two hours. This time when I got up I had a significant pain in my right shoulder and could think why. The pain got worse so I thought I'd take a Naproxin, but for that you need to have some food. I once took some without food and not only felt physically sick but also mentally awful. I was all I could do to cancel my dentist appointment before going on a walk to try to forget about the pain. So this time I went and got my default jiaozi, got back and had my daily yoghurt with a gram of crushed resveretrol, two teaspoons of psyllium husk, and the rest of my daily supplements. It doesn't make up for lack of gym though, although with the pain getting worse I definitely wouldn't have gone. Ah, I've just realised it could have been my overexuberance bringing in the tables and chairs last night from our neighouring bbq place; that's about the only place I've expended energy recently from the top half of my body.

The pain was still getting worse until about an hour after taking the Naproxin, when I managed to doze on and off for another couple of hours. And then when I got up finally around 4.30pm it had totally gone. I wasn't going to push it by going to the gym, so did the next best thing and went for piano practice instead. After that I went to the clothes shop to look for XL and L size kits for T and E, but they only had every other size from S to XXXXL, so the bloke told me they should be in next week. Then I got a message from his wife a few minutes later asking what sizes I wanted, and that I should have them by tomorrow.

"Because there is no industrial addition to craft beer, you can drink too much of it without feeling bad the next day."

It may not be tuned too well but it's my go-to piano here.

Tan pinged me to say that Xixi's all-day hair appointment to make it greyish would finish soon and that we would go to Tianyang Po's for bbq. So I first dropped of my black canvas shoes to be cleaned, before sauntering over there in some of the most clingy heat I've experienced here, but before I got there I was called over to a table by a couple of blokes and a woman. Apparently we had eaten or drunk with them last summer and one of them proved it by showing a video of Leilei, Nezha, and I around a table with them. Then the owner of the place came out and we shared a couple of beers until Leilei walked past, pointing behind me to where Tan and Xixi were already sitting down. So I politely ganbei'd them and went over to have some of the best bbq in town before heading back home. I barely had time to crack open a cold one when Chen pinged me at 10.45pm for the first time in a year to tell me to go over to a bbq place on Jiang Bing Lu. I said I should be able to and he told me to "hurry up" as you do.

Friend bunch of people near Tianyang Po's bbq place

Ahh...duck tongues and sweetcorn bbq

Leilei had taken our dian dong che, but luckily Jiuma's was there, and charged up. I'd have had to walk the 20 minutes otherwise as I can't order didi ches on Weixin (as  apparently it requires face ID, yet my financial stuff on the phone is all in Li Kun's name. And although I've tried a couple of times I haven't been able to hire a blue electric bike either. I've got to sort one or both of these things out. So 5 minutes later I was parked outside and called Chen only to be answered with shouts from the other side of the road. There were a good six of them and of course I had to ganbei with each of them multiple times. I was quite glad I'd only had the one or two earlier.

But it was a fun night, with a lot of caima, and we got the pretty worker from the neighbouring bbq place to sit with us for a bit and I played caima with her too, to squeals of delight. The France - Belgium game had started but no-one was really watching it. Then, around halftime the wind started picking up and within seconds the bbq place people were bringing in the tables and chairs. The poor women from next door which whom I had just been caimaiing had no customers and was bringing in all the tables and chairs by herself so of course I jumped over to help bring it all in. No other bloke did though. Then, on cue, the heavens opened but by now we were inside and dry. Now we did focus a bit more on the footy and I was almost glad France scored a late goal as it meant we wouldn't have to watch at least another half an hour as it was getting on for 2am.

Yudao hao men bbq place in Jiang Bing Lu

It was the rain that wouldn't let me leave so soon though, so we ended up drinking till 2.30am anyway before it died down a little, when I said I'd better be off and the boss gave me an umbrella to keep most of the rain off. Chen did check that I'd got back ok. I tried to watch Portugal - Slovenia but if I did I don't remember any of it.