At 8am I was awake. At 9am I was still awake. At 10am I was awake but thinking I wouldn't make it for the footy, but Lu Feng had pinged me to say to meet up at 1.30pm for the match due to start at 2.30pm. At 11am finally I connected to the VPN and "watched" a podcast of Sean Carroll talking to David Deutsch about quantum such and such and really didn't understand much but I thought it would make me sleep. It didn't, so eventually at 12.39pm I gave up and poured myself a gin and 0% sugar drink I bought last night. I wasn't really in the mood but I was going to watch a football match and knew it might require some Dutch (rather than Deutsch) courage.
I left at 1.30pm and stopped off to get some jiaozi at my local place. Of course the boss lady was not in any way nonplussed to see me (does that mean she was plussed?), and served me as though I'd been there every day for the last 20 years. But in a way that is what I love about this place. Ok, it's only been about 10 years but I like to feel I'm a bit of a local at this place. And it was a blinding portion as usual - which I shared with Leilei and Nezha by means of a photo.
Then it was off to the stadium to meet Lu Feng (I think he's generally known as Feng ge - big brother Feng - but in my case I should probably call him Feng di). Thanks to Weixin and phones in general we met up and he handed me a loudspeaker and I had to shout out something...well I did my best to copy the others and it was something like "la la la la la la la la Guangxi dui!" Guangxi team! This went on for a few minutes after which he handed me a strip of 6 tablets saying they were medicine for the throat for shouting/cheering so much. This was thinking-in-advance the likes of which I'm not used to here. Also, Feng di gave me a bottle of water and said to put it in my pocket in order to get past security, and it worked.
Having to help with the cheerleading pre-match
It was a decent match, coming back to win with two second half goals, unfortunately at the other end of the stadium from where we were. Other than the "ultras" areas, the stadium was not full to the rafters, unlike in the summer, but it was quite a hot afternoon and not much more to play for other than pride and 4th place. But still, a pretty good achievement after we were pretty close to going down last year. Only two places off promotion to the top tier!
If Scott Joplin only knew his ghost would still live on in Southern China...
Feng di had said something about drinking and eating after the match, but first the team did a tour of the stadium to give respect to the crowd. We appeared to be the last ones and for some reason we all threw down a load of broad-rimmed farming hats as if it was some tradition here. It was also very decent of the home supporters to cheer the opposition and this was reciprocated too.
Around 5pm we moved from our seats around to the north side of the stadium where the No Name bar is situated. I think that one of the "ultras" is named the 无名球迷 (No Name Football Fans) after the bar situated there, and that this time we were actually sitting in the opposite side with a different group of "ultras". So it seems that there is no fierce rivalry between them, or I have completely misunderstood. Tables were being wheeled onto the running track behind the goal and I offered to help but Feng di took me to the stands, where a few fans were gathered around 安永佳 (who is the main star of the team) for a drone-led photoshoot. He is technically from Hong Kong but one of his parents is from New Zealand. It was a short, refreshing, change to be out of the focal point for a while, and I declined Feng di's suggestion to ask him for his autograph as security ushered him away. A while later I told Chuan Chuan I'd been next to 安永佳 and she said she wished she'd asked me for his autograph...ah well maybe next time....
As the food was being prepared I had to play a few rounds of cai ma with some of the locals, which was duly filmed I found out later as multiple people sent me what they'd seen on douyin. There were about 15 round tables in a row, and of course the meal was as good as the company. I didn't know more than one person on my table but half way through the meal I knew them all, plus the two surrounding tables.
Getting ready to eat with a young friend who was asking me all about the UK
This time unfortunately losing a round of cai ma
Another fine meal already
As is becoming more and more normal now, a guitar and speakers were brought out a bit later so we had live music for the latter part of the meal. But I guess by this stage the jetlag was setting in as memories after 10pm are rather hazy.
Seemingly every time I get to Pingguo I have this false dawn of waking up in the morning and thinking I've conquered jetlag. And indeed I thought the same this morning. So as normal I forewent breakfast as Li Kun had invited me for lunch at the stadium, and I took the fully charged dian dong che there at 1.30pm and was very happy to meet him and his wife and younger two children. Gosh it reminded me of how hard it could be with young'uns screaming and running around but here it's accepted a bit more than other places...his 2.75 year old son went a bit ballistic but few brows were furrowed. We simply ate and had a nice chat and then Li Kun went back to his office to drink tea.
I was to meet him there too, but thought I'd better try to register myself first although Li Kun doubted the police place would be open on Saturday. Well he was right and wrong as the police place itself was open, but the office I needed wasn't, and the bloke at reception told me to come back anytime on Monday, so fair enough, I was to go to Li Kun's office to tell him he was sort of right.
I did the usual and drove past his office till I hit the small supermarket that sells cold non-sugar drinks, and bought a single bottle of 0 sugar cola as I feared I would be flagging soon. I took a large gulp before I heard a young girl shout at me and I recognised her as Li Kun's second daughter I'd just had lunch with. Somehow she had recognised me and took it upon herself to lead me to his office (getting a lift on the dian dong che) which was indeed only 30 yards away.
And indeed at 3.00pm it was just tea we drank (not that beer wouldn't have been an option had anyone wanted it). The daughter and son noticed my cola so I poured them a glass. The daughter let the son have a small sip and it must have been his first time as his eyes lit up and he slowly beamed a massive smile that was infectious to all in the room. I asked if it was ok for a not-yet three year-old to have cola and Li Kun said it was fine, so within the next few minutes the bottle was emptied, but I suspect the tea we drank had enough caffeine to fill in what I missed from the cola. I mentioned to Li Kun about the possibility of watching the last match of the season tomorrow and one of his mates Lu Feng said he could sort that no problem - we exchanged numbers and Weixin and he said we'd meet tomorrow lunchtime before the kick-off. Well that was efficient.
I've just had my first sip of cola!
Yang Haiwei had got in contact to tell me to meet up with him at 5pm to talk to his younger son in English, and then to eat, and I was more than happy with that. So around that time I drove over there to whichever place he was living in at the time and spent a good hour chatting with his son and some of his mates before food was served. They'd pretty much cooked half a pig, and that meant all the bits inside plus the skin. Haiwei used his chopsticks to put a full pig's foot in my bowl of rice and unlike former years I wasn't annoyed and actually quite enjoyed it. I think we ate with the owner of the house and his wife and son, and another woman I don't know who was annoyingly good at cai ma.
Dinner with Haiwei and friends
Eventually it got to 10pm and although the beer was flowing I made the jetlag excuse of needing to get home and all were ok with it. Of course it took 10 minutes of exchanging glasses of beer to finish off but I was back before 11pm as I wanted to watch the City match. But bloody hell my VPN wasn't working. Not one of the three I'd paid for, and I tried for ages. I had to settle for a dodgy stream that was very stop-and-start. So although I didn't get to see it in all its glory I sort of witnessed a lovely 6-1 win for us over Bournemouth (Doku looking a great buy) before being dragged to sleep.
I think 12.06pm was a reasonable time to book the train from Kowloon West to Guangzhou South. I had planned on getting a bus then a short walk but after last night I decided to cave in and get another cab, which would give me a precious few more minutes in the hotel re-packing stuff that really wasn't well packed in the first place. At least both bottles of wine were still intact. That will cover a couple of presents. Unfortunately most of the Lego boxes were quite bruised, and my tub of Coffee-Mate had somehow leaked powder over my clothes, which meant more rearranging. And of course the pair of jeans I'd worn for 24 hours was to go in the main luggage and I put on my lightest pair of long trousers for the day ahead's travel.
I barely thought to look out of the window at the view...not that I had time
But both pieces of luggage zipped up and I found for the first time that my laptop bag had a strap at the bag whose function I now realised was to attach to the extended arms of carry-on luggage (and the one Tan had bought a few weeks ago had good wheels). So actually moving about was nothing like as sweat-inducing as it could have been. I didn't even think about using my free drinks vouchers as 1) it was 10.30am and 2) shit it was 90 minutes till my train and I'd have to do immigration and security etc. Luckily a taxi was just dropping some people off so I got the bloke to understand where I was going despite his lack of Mandarin. We managed a semi-conversation which contained too much Cantonese for me but we got to the station about 15 minutes later.
It was busier than 2019 but that was mostly for domestic trains I guess so as when I got to security it was merely a matter of putting all three bags through the conveyor and none of the members of staff batted an eyelid despite having four bottles of alcohol and at least one aerosol can. Then came duty free and I needed to pick up some cigarettes for a friend who wanted "as long as it's fine, anything mild will do". I've shown the original Chinese to two other Chinese people, neither of whom understood what was meant. And neither again did the lady who worked in the shop, who suggested sending pictures of the brands, which I did but of course got no response so I ended up getting a 10 pack of Esse. Ah, and a litre of export strength gin as I had more paper HKD due to last night and wanted to get rid of it.
No 1st class this year, out of choice...I was optimistic there would be space as I think Kowloon West was the starting station. Indeed there was and once safely seated I tried to change my SIM card to the one I used in the summer. At least that was the plan but although China Mobile was asking me to top up, it wouldn't let me online in order to do so. All three payment options entailed going via a link which timed out presumably down to my lack of credit. I tried Weixin with similar results; it would allow me to navigate to the bit where you choose your credit but not actually apply the credit and I know I had enough on the phone. Then back to the China Mobile landing page again I noticed it had a different phone number, and that it was Leilei's from this summer. Somehow I'd saved his SIM in my wallet instead of mine which was the "main" card. But luckily I found it by rummaging in the tiny top pocket of my laptop bag where I keep little accoutrements such as ancient SIMs that will never work again.
By now we were well and truly in the mainland, past Shenzhen, so I had no chance of using my English SIM for data without using it all up in seconds. I really needed my old SIM from the summer to work, but although the China Mobile landing screen recognised the number I had similar results trying to top up. At least I'd messaged Li Kun from HK to say I was on my way.
As I was giving up hope on the train to Pingguo Li Kun called me! Then I saw messages. I had connectivity! Li Kun must have helped me top up. What a difference that made to the 4h45 journey. I set up the laptop and got PureVPN working and was in my element. Li Kun said to meet up at 8.30pm, which was fine by me as I was due to arrive in Pingguo at 6.40pm. And of course it was bang on schedule and I emerged from the train feeling as close as it is possible for a human to make the transition from a caterpillar to a butterfly in a little over four and a half hours (my cocoon being the D3858 from Guangzhou South).
I was walking down the platform feeling strangely proud and happy when suddenly my right foot stopped. It transpired that my shoelace had got trapped in one of the wheels of my large suitcase, which was now a lot heavier than the 23kg it was when I took my flights, due to duty-free and more clothes. And it literally stopped me in my stride, not to mention a load of other people who had got off the same train. Had I had my wits about me I would have taken off my shoe and moved to the side to fix matters, but my wits had been left in Hong Kong, so I lay down the suitcase on its side and casually worked out the wrapped-around shoelace from its wheel, while others made their way around me nonplussed. Had it been in the UK I'd have been very embarrassed but I thought sod it and half a minute later I was back on my way.
And like earlier this year I shunned the didi che drivers for a smaller san lun che. Although it was more of an agricultural vehicle and I could barely fit my suitcases in. But we did of course and I held on as we drove through the streets of Pingguo to Chenglong road again. So much for getting a shower in the 90 minutes I had to myself. I had barely sorted out my clothes when Li Kun called again to say someone would pick me up from the bank by the entry to Yu Jing Hua Ting. This was a better way of describing the entrance as last time I regularly made mistakes as to which entrance to meet at but I knew only one of them had a bank. And when I got there a few minutes later some bloke on a dian dong che shouted on the phone that he had seen me and whisked me off to a new bar by the KTV place next to the guangchang.
There were a couple of nice cold ones waiting for me when I got home
It was a cosy place named Xiao Bai de Tian, named after the owner's wife (it literally means Bai's sky) and apparently he dotes after her. We were the only people for a short while until a couple of ladies turned up and then the owner turned off the music and started playing a couple of songs on the guitar. Li Kun suggested I should get up and do so too as has happened before but I was awake and sober enough to decline, and just enjoyed being there for a while. The owner sat with us but didn't take a beer as he was on a diet, as was his wife Xiao Bai. Then Li Kun called A Wu who turned up a bit later and in many ways it was like old times again...old times old friends....
A cosy Xiao Bai de Tian
We didn't stay particularly late, and A Wu dropped me off home soon after midnight. And I remembered a very important thing - to charge up the dian dong che. Tan hadn't done it and I knew if you didn't use the batteries they would die so they'd probably already lost a significant percentage over the last three months but I didn't want them to lose any more. And tomorrow I'd need to register myself and that is a few km away from home.
Although Hong Kong is considered to be part of China, in a very real way it isn't as I don't need a visa to go there, and as I was in the international section of the Beijing's second airport I didn't need to do security. At least that's what I thought. But then I saw it and feared the worst for my two bottles of duty-free. At least I would have, had I remembered that I'd put them in my larger carry-on luggage that I'd just appropriated from Tan yesterday. And indeed it got put aside but luckily when I explained it was duty-free (mian shui) they had no problem with it - maybe because the bag was sealed. But as it was over a four hour wait it wasn't a problem. Neither was finding the "Pay Lounge", which thankfully was covered by Priority Pass. I'm not sure why, but it was nearly empty, and the booze selection wasn't great, comprising cans of 3.9% beer and a bottle of white and a bottle of rouge. Well, I'd recently had nearly three weeks off the sauce, and it was 4.30pm, and even just one of those excuses justified pouring a decent-sized glass of the rouge...probably the last chance I'll have of the stuff for a month (apart from the next four glasses).
Crappy selection of instant noodles but I spied a decent bottle of red on the right
They actually served hot food after 5pm...not bad
Bored Apes in HK?
Well I took away a can of soda and three beers
I was very relieved to find that Pure VPN was still working after a few attempts. So I was geographically in China, technically in a sort of no-man's land, and culturally somewhere in-between. The three or so hours I was there passed by quicker than that, and I managed a brief chat with Mat before I went to board. I think I may have dropped off a bit in the 2h45 flight, though I do recall having a last red wine on the flight (not always available on "domestic" flights and Tan's China Eastern international flights didn't serve booze at all).
The flight arrived 8 minutes early at 11.12pm and I was fairly optimistic of getting the last metro at 12.48am, even though we still hadn't deplaned at 11.35pm. Although I'd spent quite a few minutes writing my landing card for China, upon arrival in Hong Kong I realised (quite obviously) that I needed a landing card for there rather than China. But this time it took all of a whole minute as I didn't have to write down a full address in Chinese. And then I found my Weixin health declaration had expired a few hours ago so had to redo it but luckily I'd scanned and saved the QR code I needed, and once re-scanned it remembered all the details from my previous declaration except for the flight number. So although I had some unexpected tasks to do in the airport they didn't slow me down half as much as they could have done, and after no more than 10 minutes queueing for immigration I was technically, physically, and culturally in Hong Kong. And it was only just gone half past midnight.
I really wanted to make use of the Octopus cards Leilei and I had bought over four years ago, but the machine was having none of it, not allowing me to top-up or even check how much there was in it. So I used my English bank card to pay the $115 HKD to Hong Kong, and got there 20 minutes later or so. I had planned my 16 minute walk from the station but Hong Kong at night is a maze, not helped by being very muggy and having the effects of recent red wine. And when I checked Google Maps again it said I was 45 minutes away by foot! So sod it I got a bloody taxi, and withdrew $1000 thinking it was about a tenner's worth, and being surprised when the driver handed me back about 900 of them.
Although I had no need or desire for a nightcap, I was quite pleasantly surprised to get two free drinks vouchers, and would probably have used them but the bloke at reception said only soft drinks as the bar was closed. I didn't believe a hotel bar in HK would be closed at 1am so went to check for myself, but the bloke followed me too saying "zhi you soft drinks" (I'm not sure how that would really translate into Mandarin). And looking back, it probably was a good thing...I was tired and needed whatever rest the hotel room could afford me, and I didn't even consider breaking in to any duty-free.
Well this may be silly, but I know I have to find work soon, and Tan had spent most of October back in China for the moving of her parents' bones to another place to be together. Apparently this involved scraping what was left of the flesh off the bones as Waipo's had only been there for four years or so.
But I also had a massive inkling to go back. This summer had been so good. I had found a really cheap £398 return to Hong Kong from London and bought it mid-October. Carpe diem?
So at 5.30pm I was back in T4 in Heathrow with almost no queue for check-in. The kind lady got me seat 47G when I asked for an empty row. She couldn't promise of course, but it at least gave me a chance. The lack of queue meant that even after duty-free it was still more than four hours before the flight when I got to the lounge. Not that I've ever been turned away for being early before. I took full advantage of some decent curry and vin rouge, and may have managed a whisky or two before boarding started. My excuse was simply trying to get some sleep on the flight.
Last curry for a while
I ended up being in nearly the only empty row of 3 in my field of vision. And still it was the same when boarding was complete and when we took off! So after (yet) another meal and a last glass of rouge I took my melatonin and Phenergan, and lay down over the three seats under my blanket (but with my seatbelt showing). I woke up with only 1h22 minutes of the flight to go! This well justified what planning I could re seating and probably getting to the airport early. And then bang we'd landed and I'd not even been checking. Just about the smoothest journey ever from London to China.
Managed to get up by 8am and grab a shower before breakfast which I'm ashamed to say was egg and bacon. Not that I'd planned a western one but I fancied the bacon, and then the fried eggs which were pretty much attached to the fried bread. But it went down well despite the knife and fork. I've eaten fried eggs with chopsticks before but we didn't have a great deal of time. Leilei and I left Nezha to finish his food and went to bring down the luggage, and although it was 5 minutes before the bus (this time an actual Spacecruiser-sized mianbao che) was due to leave it was already out there with the engine running.
Pathetic last breakfast in China
So we fetched Nezha's stuff and just about managed to get the luggage fitted around the other people's stuff, and understood that luckily T2 would be the first stop, so 10 minutes later we were there. I could probably have chosen the 10am shuttle bus but was really worried there would be issues ahead. But as it was, even though there were nearly four hours till the flight we were ushered to a queue-free China Southern check-in area and I gave the lady the three passports and said I'd had no problem reserving the seats for the boys but thought there may be an issue with mine. But I was massively relieved to find that I was fine and we were all on the same row. Once the hold luggage had gone through we were told to wait one or two minutes before we could go as there were evidently people checking the x-rays. This is why I told the boys not to take the bibi guns. We were given the international "ok" sign of a thumb and first finger ring by the lady and Nezha gave a bigger sigh of relief than most people would have needed to. I just hope he didn't have anything dodgy in there....
I was relieved, Nezha was relieved, but Leilei wasn't as he had a decidedly dodgy tummy and wanted to go the toilet before security. Fine, go, we had plenty of time, so he went but a minute later he was back saying they only had squatters. Jeez, even I've managed to negotiate squatters...a few times this trip nonetheless, but as "desperate" as he was he said he could hold it through security. The airport wasn't particularly busy so security was 10 minutes and none of us were held up this time although neither of the boys had liquids bags annoyingly and I had to take their perfume and deodorant into mine. They so need to start learning to think ahead....
Of course normally after security that's it...you go to duty free or the lounge. But next was the health declaration we hadn't planned on. I thought that was just for entering China. But no, we needed to scan a QR card with Weixin, then fill in a picky questionnaire with a very unintuitive interface. But after a good 15 minutes we eventually got our new QR codes, which we scanned to get through this next fence. But then was passport control...yes fair enough, we hadn't had our passports stamped out of the country yet, so yet another queue of about 20 minutes, but Leilei appeared to prefer that than squat.
Finally we were into the duty free area and I remembered to pick up some Esse menthols for Awl, who for some reason was awake at 3am UK time. The boys decided to go for a wander as is their wont, but I told them I wanted to find a lounge as the Amex app said there was only one but I doubted that. A couple of minutes later I found the China Southern lounge and it accepted Priority Pass, so I said the boys would be around shortly, but it turned out it would be better to wait for them so I called Leilei and they said they'd be there soon. So I scanned the code and boarding pass and added two guests (Nezha better appreciate he's cost me £20 for both times).
Eventually the boys turned up and scanned in and we availed ourselves of some decent food as is normal in my experience in lounges in the three or four biggest Chinese cities. I waited till 11am before having a 5% wheat beer as I was too embarrassed to ask for a G&T at the bar (at least until someone else had). I chatted with Awl again who still hadn't got to sleep at 4am but only for 20 minutes or so. The 1.20pm flight was to board at 12.40pm, which gave us only another hour, so I managed a 2nd beer and after went to the bar to ask for a G&T. Well I said it in Mandarin and I said it in English but she didn't understand - so I ended up pointing at the Beefeater bottle and she said that was just for show and wasn't actually available, before pointing at a selection of red wines and a whisky to say I could have that. I asked what about cold white wine and she pointed to the fridge on the bar...hmmm...champagne...well that might be a nice way to say goodbye to China so I poured myself a decent sized one before a Chinese bloke came up to me and said something I knew was an attempt at English but couldn't understand so asked him in Mandarin what he wanted. In fact he just wanted the same as me so I handed him the bottle. I would have liked to respond in English but I was in my last hour in the country so really appreciated possibly my last mini-conversation.
I offered the boys a small glass too but Leilei wasn't interested. Nezha accepted one though and I had another small one to join him. Then the notice came that the London flight was boarding. We never leave at this point. We knew we had a short 10 minute walk to the gate, so I followed what the boys had been eating - two mini hamburgers and some more beef, and maybe poured myself a first and last whisky as I knew I'd require sleep on the 12 hour flight.
Gorgeous mini-hamburgers
Maybe a last nip before vacating the lounge
So appetites sated, we left at 12.50pm and got there as some of the last people to get on. No problem, there was plenty of hand luggage space at row 60 near the back. No problem with the flight either as it left on time and despite eating in the lounge we all pretty much finished lunch, after which thanks to the lounge and some Phenergan and maybe we each had a melatonin, we each managed to sleep relatively quickly afterwards, despite the usual turbulence.
Maybe I got four to five hours' sleep but it was more than many times, and I managed a couple of late James Bond films that I'd not seen before, before another meal and some more shuteye. With a couple of hours to go we all found ourselves hungry again so went the few feet back to the back to get ourselves a sandwich each. By now it was 5pm UK time, so a bit later I sneaked out a beer I might have appropriated from the lounge and sneaked a bit into my cup while the attendants weren't around, and another and another till it was gone and I hoped the cleaning people wouldn't report me as I left it under my seat. I started watching Star Trek: into the darkness, which was pretty crap in many ways but being tired and tiddly helps one with such films. The turbulence came again, but ultimately we landed pretty firmly, but safely.
This time passport control and getting luggage was a breeze, and we were on the Piccadilly line soon after. We would have taken the Lizzie line but it would have been £17+ each rather than the £6 tube which only took a few minutes longer. And that was it. The boys had had the China experience of a lifetime. They would no doubt experience the homecoming blues, but I've done that for 20 years now and you just have to adjust. We have no idea when we might come back. Well, I have an idea that I'll do it soon if I can sort out Leilei with uni stuff...it's been literally like a long dream and I just want to go back to sleep....
Up at 8am for a very short time before 11.30am came around and I managed to get up at midday as I knew I'd not packed properly. I'd decided to leave about half the clothes I'd turned up with as Tan had plonked 12kg of clothes for her and Xixi in my suitcase yesterday and said that was fine as I still had 11kg. Blimey my suitcase was full and above 20kg when I came here and that was without presents.
So I went to get four portions of jiaozi from our local place but she only had one. But this time I was willing to wait seven minutes, so popped next door and had a nice chat with the bloke looking after Lu zong's water shop, whom I'd known for some time but not really had a proper conversation with before. Yes it was a simple conversation but he didn't know it would be one of my last for a while and I really appreciated it and drank it up. Even after saying goodbye to the jiaozi woman I took the long way back just to stop at the second hand dian dong che place to say thank you again to the bloke who fixed our bike four weeks ago.
I also spent time playing with a poor kitty in a bird cage but I guess had she not been there she'd have been run over by now...and how dare I define it as a she?
Back home it was gone 1pm and I knew I should sort out seats for the flight tomorrow, but I first had my portion of jiaozi and allowed myself a Li Quan pijiu as I wouldn't have the chance for a long while. Frustratingly, China Southern wouldn't accept my flight details. I'm sure this is all to do with asking for a quote for changing the date to go back 10 days ago when BA insisted that I get another booking reference. But this booking reference wouldn't work, and neither would the original ticket number. I tried with Leilei's and it went through fine and he was seat 60J. Then with Nezha his was fine and already 60H so at least they'd been put together. But for the sin of requesting a quote for a later flight I was not able to find my flight and for all I know I may not even get on the flight tomorrow. It's these sort of times that I have hope for my Amex travel insurance should something bad happen tomorrow.
At least the boys managed to rumble of out bed and grab a shower by 2pm. We did our last minute stuff and I realised I'd be leaving two pairs of shoes, three or four pairs of trousers, and at least six tops. But I'd be coming back with two Pingguo Haliao football tops to put that in perspective. I grabbed my shower last minute at 2.30pm as didn't want to be sweating before the train, and Tan said she and Xixi would come to the train station with us to book their tickets to Nanning tomorrow. At 2.59pm, 58 minutes before our train was due, she booked a didi che, but for some reason couldn't book two. As it was we managed to get all our luggage in the boot and front seat of the car and then Tan said they weren't going as Xixi wasn't ready or something. So in typical Pingguo style we left in a single car to minimal goodbyes.
And under 10 minutes later we were at Pingguo Huoche Zhan, and it cost a whole 5.4 kuai! My bags went through fine despite having a portable charger but Leilei's got found. Nezha had four lighters, which they found and said he was only allowed to take two - and that was fine apparently as two didn't work anyway...but still why take them? Luckily I'd told them not to take the bibi guns or the knives they'd bought, so five minutes later we were in the waiting room with only 10 minutes to go before queuing up for our train. I imagined what it would have been like had we had to take a 4pm flight from Nanning...we'd have probably had to leave Pingguo soon after 10am with no time for last minute packing or lunch. Not to mention the only flight to Guangzhou was at 7.20am which would have meant hotels and 4am waking up - no thank you!
Apparently this is a "happy" look, though sad to be leaving Pingguo
Now I know what is different about Pingguo this time. It's quiet, at least relatively. There's very little bibbing, far fewer fireworks, and just in general there's been less noise where we live. I quite appreciate that. And indeed the journey to the station was as calm as any journey I've taken in this city. Even in our 1st class carriage (as all the other tickets had sold out a day after going on sale) there were not so many people with loud mobile games playing, or shouting on their phones. It's all just a little bit perceptibly calmer.
The 4h29m journey was spent mostly asleep by the boys, who have rarely got up before 4pm, but that wouldn't happen for me so I ended up having the cold beer I'd brought with me with the silly idea of bringing it to the UK. At the tube station I bought three 9 kuai tickets as I'd done back in June, except this time using Weixin. You'd have thought they'd tell you how much it would be but I was just given the option of various prices so worked on memory. Of course an hour and a bit later the tokens we were given would not let us out and I had to find the service person who told us that we needed to pay 1 kuai more each. Inflation? Some other reason? I certainly wasn't going to find out there and then and ended up paying 1 kuai with Weixin but for some reason I needed to pay the other two with cash.
I called the hotel, who gave me the number of the driver, then called him to find out he'd be outside door 46. As luck would have it we were at number 44 so 50 yards later we went to wait and didn't see anything. Fair enough he did say he'd be a few minutes but after 10 minutes I called him again and he said he was already there. In my mind I'd imagined a Spacecruiser-sized mianbao che but after a few shouts I heard his voice emanating from a much larger vehicle and we got in with only just enough space for our luggage, and 10 minutes later we were in what actually looked to be a decent hotel. As soon as I had checked in and we'd dumped the luggage we went downstairs to get our free noodles. There were only two sets left in the warmer so I let the boys have them and they went out straight away to find drinks because the noodles would be "too dry" without that. Whatever. The lady gave me a new set of noodles and I couldn't be bothered to wait for them to get warm and they were actually rather nice for free.
The boys came back saying there were no shops but I took that as a bit of a challenge as I rather fancied a cold beer. So I left them and walked for around 45 minutes and indeed there was nothing. Plenty of living areas and work areas but this place 3.7km from the airport did not want to sell me anything. So back at the hotel I asked if they happened to have any cold beers and of course they did, and I chose four local brews at a costly 16 kuai each but I didn't care...they went down very well and I even got two more when the boys decided they wanted an ice lolly each. The hotel room was ok but lacked the sofa the trip.com app said it would have. But Leilei set about putting a few cushions on the floor inside some sort of kid's wigwam (the hotel room was family-oriented) as fair enough at his age he didn't want to share even a king-size bed with me and my snoring. Well it was to be my last night in China for a while, and after a brief chat with Awl fell asleep by 2am.
Another lazy morning stopped when A Wu pinged me at 11.45am to ask if I wanted to to catch fish in a net, as opposed to "normal" fishing. As it was my last full day I thought "why not?" for the umpteenth time. So I managed to get up at midday and A Wu said he was on his way to pick me up but I said 5-10 minutes. As it was I thought it would be a sweaty affair so I just washed my face and told him I was ready. Then he said to take the dian dong che to his house as people were waiting for me there, and of course to hurry up! Ha, so one minute he's on his way then the next I'm to go to meet him...I almost don't think about it anymore. But the annoying thing was that someone was now in the bathroom where the sun cream was, meaning I couldn't take that and I didn't have a hat either. Damn, but there was no way I was going to get sunburnt the day before we were going back.
So I rode over to his house and as I parked up I heard a bloke call me from a shitty car. Oh, that's what we were supposed to be going in to catch fish. A Wu turned up and we bibbed at him and he looked bemused at the car so we drove up to him and he finally understood we'd be taking this tiny four seater so got in the back with me. We drove five minutes to south of the river and turned up at a dead end. After a few minutes it was clear we were in the wrong place so moved on another minute or so, till the road was so steep us three passengers had to get out to let the driver drive the car up. But we were nearly there and indeed after a bit of a downhill climb during which one bloke slipped and skidded down on his arse for a bit we found a small orange boat by the side of the river.
Whoops - wrong place
No way I was getting into that for two hours
The next half an hour was one of the blokes re-sorting out the large net, while the rest of us were able to drink some water and generally sweat. It was pretty much the hottest day here so far and A Wu then said we should have come in the morning. Well yes if you'd told me before 11.45am maybe we could have. I then told A Wu I would not be getting in the boat and he agreed that the sun was just too vicious. I knew I'd be fried to a crisp, and when finally the other three blokes moved off, using a stick as an oar, I knew I'd made the correct decision. After half an hour of them going to the other side of the river and starting to lay the nets I told A Wu I reckoned they'd be at least another two hours and he agreed. He was happily watching douyin so I said I'd go for a walk.
And indeed I walked into the hamlet past kids playing in the street and hunted the shadows as I felt myself burning within seconds of being in the sun. I made my way to the dual carriageway then moved back as felt I wanted something more cultural. So I found myself in what looked like a shop. A couple of old women who were making aeroplane headsets were looking at me rather intently, but I ignored them and shouted "laoban!" calling for the boss. But no-one was there, even though I could see a couple of Li Quan in the fridge calling to me. I asked at another house next door and they pointed to a house two doors down and I walked in to find another shop with an ancient pool table in the middle that would never see any more cue balls. But at least there was someone there. There was no fridge but a freezer and I asked the bloke if he had a cold beer. Indeed he did so for 5 kuai he dug inside the freezer and picked one out.
Oh it was heaven to have a cold, fizzy, non-sugary drink, and as it was well gone 2pm quite justifiable. He bade me sit by the pool table under the fan and as I opened the can three little girls and a boy came in. They were young enough not to be afraid and delighted in seeing this wai guo ren. So many comments about being tall, having blue eyes and fair hair I've heard before but this was literally the first time they'd seen a foreigner and I indulged them by making them speak a little English and shaking their hands. It was the closest I'd felt to being in Bangxu in 2003 since...well 2003.
Cute kids in the shop with Chairman Mao looking on in the background
The name of the commune I spent a couple of hours in
A Wu called to say he was also leaving that place, and somehow we met up just outside where I had had my beer, and we continued to walk for a few minutes until it was too hot even for him and we found refuge under the shade of some trees. Awl happened to call me and we spoke for a few minutes while avoiding getting burnt. But after 5 minutes we got cut off from Telegram as is often the case. So A Wu and I walked another 10 minutes or so before arriving at the place that is being built south of the bridge where I'd been to the other week to have you cha. By now it was really boiling so we found an estate agent's with a big model of all the houses that were being built, and it looked actually really nice, but at an appropriate price.
We got a didi che to his house where we spent a few minutes until his wife turned up and we went down for me to take my dian dong che and him to take this car. He called Tan to arrange to "sing song" later but I could hear her say she had a cold and a headache, so he called Boss Zhou and arranged to meet up later for a drink. Whatever, Tan had said the family would all be over so I had to go back there to eat. She said to come back by 4pm which I did but of course nothing was ready then. But it was a good chance to get the kids out for a last photoshoot (at least with Leilei) and we did eat at 5pm. Er Jie's husband was there and I genuinely didn't recognise him; he was pretty slim now, and is Qiqi's father so I'm sure I've eaten with him before. Eventually he suggested having a drink with the meal but we only had two Li Quan cans left. No problem that sorted us out till the end of the meal.
Lovely last family meal
Try as I might I'll probably never understand such conversations in Bangxuhua
Haiwei pinged me to go for a bite but I told him I was due to go with A Wu and he should contact him. But at gone 7pm I hadn't heard from A Wu so pinged Haiwei to ask where he was. Well he was just around the corner according to the weizhi, so I turned up at the place and showed the weizhi to an employee and she told me it was opposite, so I went opposite and the person there said it was opposite. So I went opposite again then thought to call Haiwei and indeed he was in the place opposite to where I was now and next door to the place that had just told me opposite. Every time I think I'm used to living here something happens to prove that wrong. But Haiwei came out to see me which was the only way I could be sure where to go, and indeed it was the same place I'd been to a couple of weeks ago to eat beef.
There were only four blokes there so not majorly exciting, but two of them also had Bangxu wives and one was the son of a Bangxu woman, which meant gan bei'ing before descending into cai ma, which I did rather well at. Then a bit later a bloke turned up that I recognised. He was the ex-pilot I'd met four years ago in Bangxu, and had clearly had a couple already. But he was in good spirits and shortly after challenged me to cai ma, which I won to his joking disgust. This followed for another hour before I made my excuses and said I needed to meet up with Xixi. As I was leaving the place I noted the various cow parts in the fridge and told the boss I was impressed that they didn't waste anything. He seemed grateful for my compliment and reached into another fridge to get a bottle of cold water to give to me. I knew better than to return it and gratefully accepted it and said I hoped I'd be back soon.
Beef meal with Haiwei and ex-pilot second from right
They really don't waste anything
Well Xixi had been out with Leilei buying presents but wanted a lesson on the dian dong che. So we took it to Pingguo International hotel carpark, and after a few nerves she mostly got the hang of it but would refuse to move when people were around, but it was a good start. We then had a nice ride around town for the second time this year, and stopped off at the ant tree for old time's sake. On the way back I stopped off at Boss Zhou's where A Wu had been apparently but was no longer. I stayed for 15 minutes that must have seemed longer for Xixi who was bored but in her phone, and I enjoyed the heated up duck and bamboo, before wishing him a heartfelt goodbye, and told him if I could I'd be back later in the month. Even Xixi for some reason said he was one of the people she liked.
Xixi's first time on the dian dong che
So we got back and that was pretty much that. No silly invitations to go out at gone midnight, no silly drinking till 3am. I did take a last walk at 1am just to drink in a last evening of Pingguo, and came back drenched due to the humidity after the rain we'd had all day, and realised that the clothes I'd put out to hang probably wouldn't be dry by the time we had to leave tomorrow. And finally I managed to get a hotel in Guangzhou not too far from the airport. They're all "airport hotels" but at 3.7km away this was one of the closest that would sleep three adults. Well there were two big beds and a sofa so I hope it will be ok. Chuan Chuan could probably have found something cheaper but I wanted to ensure we were not far away as needed to be at the airport for soon after 10am.
As I was doing my packing the boys said they were going for a last ride in town at 2.30am. My reaction would have been to say no, as would Tan's no doubt have been, but I've been in this situation before and clearly would have done the same, so I let them go. I allowed myself one last session on Mario Kart Wii, making sure I invited my other Wiis in England for a reason that will never really make sense, other than ticking off another box in my mind. Then I played a quick race online and managed to come 3rd out of 10 meaning +53 points and above 6000 points again! No-one other than me will ever appreciate that. With not a little sadness I packed up the Wii and hoped it wouldn't be so long before I'd fire it up again. And that was it. A little nightcap or two but sleep happened around 4am.
Quite a subdued day due to both the heat and then the rain that made going out not much of an option, so Tan ordered some crappy chicken burgers for the kids and I made do with a boiled egg and bag of la tiao again. I'd decided to make this a Last Supper evening so after a tiny 30 minutes of siesta following a few lunchtime beers I started pinging my xiong di men and one by one they got back to me to say they would make it, except for Ling Ming who was looking after his wife in hospital. Uncle Yellow said he'd try his best but family might get in the way and of course I said family first.
I went to pick up a couple of beers from the local shop and while there noticed the people I'd sat with three days ago were sitting drinking tea and I felt I'd better go and see them. They welcomed me and said they'd seen me walking past a few times and why hadn't I stopped in? I was honest and said I'd been invited to various places, but sat down to have some lovely tea for the next half an hour before I said I needed to go and anyway they were going out to eat.
Back home I had a quick beer until 8pm rolled around and Beihai Huang told me to start earlier and come round now, but I said I'd told all my mates we'd be there from 9pm. He wanted me earlier and as Mat had fallen asleep in the UK I turned up shortly after 8.30pm and sat with Huang and some other mates for a while. Strangely he was on apple juice with no alcohol, but still insisted on gan bei'ing me with beer. A Wu turned up early pretty much bang on 9pm on his dian dong che, and we sat at Huang's table eating his food for a bit.
Haiwei then turned up and sat with us for a while too. But when a couple more mates turned up we moved to our own table where I'd already ordered portions of prawns, snails, qing cai, razor fish, and my favourite octopus. Then Uncle Yellow turned up, telling me he'd already drunk a load...so much for being with family! I then called Jiefu and he answered and said he'd be around presently...cool, he's one of my favourite people but I never seem to get the chance to see him until the Last Supper. Zhang Hongping, Zhang Hua, Lu zong, Boss Zhou all turned up in the next half an hour and it turned into a really friendly evening out with a few people meeting other people for the first time. Li Kun and his wife turned up at 10.40 to complete the complement.
Clockwise from left - A Wu, Haiwei, Lu zong, Zhang Hua, Jiefu, Boss Zhou, Zhang Hongping
But I could feel my tummy playing up again and as I was 2 minutes away from home I borrowed A Wu's dian dong che and just made it in time and was back within the promised 15 minutes, but Haiwei had already left it seemed. Well he did seem well-oiled when he turned up in a didi che, as did Zhang Hongping, as did Boss Zhou. Do these people do nothing else than drink and eat of an evening? But all were in good spirits and I managed to order a pot of haixian zhou and another portion of octopus and nearly everything was gone by the time we decided to call it at night at 1am. And for a total of 1000 kuai for four hours with so many people I cannot complain!
Well, that meant going to A Wu's to finish of some beers with his wife, Teacher Lu, and a couple of other friends I didn't know (or remember). The conversation turned to business and they all thought I should really start an English school, despite the fact I'd said the Chinese government was cracking down on such things. No, apparently the rich parents still want their kids to learn English and go to foreign universities. But it was 1.30am, and as much as I like A Wu's wife she kept referring to me as Mis-si-ter Peng (i.e. 3 syllables for "mister") she kept saying how much money I'd make if I set foot on such a venture. I must admit I'm tempted, and would need someone like A Wu to be a middleman between me and the government but I didn't venture to ask the important questions like getting a work visa etc. as it didn't seem the time nor the place. But I would like to pick up this conversation in a completely sober environment.
A Wu gave me a lift home around 2am which he shouldn't have done, and for some reason I managed a chat with Mat and Awl shortly after, meaning I got to sleep and not long before 4am....
Oh nothing was planned so today could have been a chill-out session, and indeed it was until Tan said we were to meet her secondary school Teacher Ling this evening at 6pm. That was cool by me, I like the bloke and he definitely helps build my vocabulary.
Typically the boys got up late, but at least Leilei was out to Li Kun's music studio by 3pm and Nezha went out by himself to get some fodder. Tan had gone to A Xia's again so I just made sure Xixi was not hungry and my lunch comprised a boiled egg and a mini pack of la tiao. I then got a text to say we'd meet at the wine shop for tea at 6.30pm, which was fine by me so later we all left the house together at 6.35pm to be fashionably a little late.
Three of the 30-something young entrepreneurs from the previous meal were there drinking tea, and we immediately went upstairs to a sumptuous room to sit down and the lady of the shop laid the table with lots of meaty goods. I learnt that no Chinese meal was complete without chicken, duck, and fish. That's clearly not true so I asked if that was Guangxi culture. No! This was Chinese culture! I suppose it means a grand meal when you're inviting multiple people but whatever. Nezha was feeling sick as apparently the boys had been to some place where you cook your own chicken but his was probably underdone and was too chewy. Nevertheless he did manage to eat a reasonable amount.
As it was a "wine" shop (selling wine and spirits) I deigned to have some for about the first time this year. The lady poured about half a bottle into a small jug and it actually had measurements on it so I could see it was 400ml. Everyone was playing the game of not wanting to be the first person to eat, so as I was starving I sort of cheated by pouring a bowl of soup for Tan. That was a timely trigger as Teacher Ling then poured one for me, but wouldn't allow me to pour his, preferring to pour the wine shop boss's to his left. But by now people were tucking into the food so after a few minutes I took the initiative of offering a gan bei to the boss, but he said no! I should first gan bei Teacher Ling. But Teacher Ling said no! We should all gan bei together first, so that we did a couple of times before the personal gan bei'ing began.
I realised I'd been pouring too much red wine into my glass for each gan bei as after half an hour my jug was nearly empty but the boss's was only half so. I had planned just to have that much red wine before moving on to beer but I found my jug filled up by the woman again, and felt it would be rude to put it back in the bottle. So I drastically reduced the amount I was pouring into my glass and made sure I gan bei'd every non-family member in the room. At 7.15pm the boys were asking to go and I told them to stay till at least 7.30pm and to gan bei Teacher Ling and the boss at least once. They agreed and were good to their word, and Leilei stuck to the water though Nezha managed a small beer. Then Leilei asked to take the black dian dong che I'd driven here instead of the 3 minute walk to avoid sweat, and I said he could as long as they initiated a final group gan bei. So they both stood up and raised their glasses, and the rest of us did too, before saying thank you and "man man chi".
Another great meal with Teacher Ling
I managed to finish the second lot of wine (350 ml, so in total a whole bottle) by gan bei'ing each of the four young men, and then asked for two beer glasses as Teacher Ling also said he was moving to beer after baijiu. But unlike boss meals we didn't descend into cai ma, rather we were just talking about stuff as Teacher Ling likes to do and I was trying to hang on, using Tan to translate much more than I wanted to.
Zhang Hua had pinged me earlier in the day to meet up tonight at 8.01pm. Yes he specifically said one minute past eight, to celebrate the opening of a friend's shop. I'd IM'd back to say thanks but I'd be late due to a previous engagement. But the previous engagement was still going strong when I told Tan I'd take Xixi home as an excuse. But Tan wanted that excuse too, so they left together and I had to tell Zhang I'd be even longer than I expected. But we wound up before 10pm as we finished what beers were on the table and didn't open a new pack. They all seemed satisfied and we had the opportunity for a photo shoot downstairs, and Ling said they may use me to advertise their wares.
Looking interested at the baijiu they sell here but not yet advertising it
By this time A Wu had also pinged me to go for a beer but I was not going to miss Zhang so after saying my goodbyes asked him to send a weizhi. The red bike was its usual slovenly self but it got me there where I was met by one of his friends who is an art teacher. We got on the bike and drove around the corner to get off by some mates eating outside. But Zhang Hua wasn't one of them, and I just had to perform a perfunctory gan bei before being led around another corner and up some stairs to some outside place by some football and basketball courts that were in the process of being built.
Ah, then I saw about four or five tables set out with copious food and drinks, and Zhang Hua was at the head and I was to sit with him. I found out after a gan bei that it was his birthday and he'd not told me that! So another gan bei ensued, and another, and another, and it descended into an enjoyable evening I wouldn't be able to leave from until the cake turned up at midnight. One person I sat next to for a while turned out to be the doctor (or surgeon) who had stitched up my leg back in 2017, and I thought he may berate me for being out drinking but to be fair so was he.
When the cake arrived I did the usual putting my finger in the cream and spreading it on Zhang's face, though this time only about two of us did that and I wondered if it was not the done thing anymore. Still, I forced myself to eat a slice and it's about the only thing you can eat when you're full as it's sooo light. Finally at around 12.45 I was able to leave with copious hugs from Zhang as he walked me to the bike.
Happy Birthday Zhang Hua!
A Wu was still about and sent me a weizhi and 10 minutes later I was in some shop upstairs with a huge table with the remnants of a meal and only three other blokes. It was a total change of atmosphere and I wished I could be back with Zhang, so limited myself to a few games of cai ma before giving A Wu a lift back. Except the dian dong che was really suffering and stopped at the slightest incline, so A Wu got off and on to his mate's one which was in fine fettle. And that was it for another night in Pingguo, only two to go now. Leilei had sent a picture of the QR code he'd plugged the black dian dong che into so he must have really gone a great distance in order to have used up the charge so soon. So when I got back at 1.45 I set it on charge then home to get to sleep pre 3am just.
A lazy morning risked turning into a lazy afternoon so I went to the supermarket to top up on washing liquid, yoghurt, hair spray, and beer. I checked the red envelope I was given last night when I paid 200 kuai at the funeral and found it contained 30 kuai. I could have been logical about it and asked why not just pay 170 kuai and not bother with the change but I've been here long enough not to. So I used most of it to come back with four portions of jiaozi, which were eventually polished off by the kids as Tan said she didn't want any due to her mouth (well she did have two wisdom teeth removed). However she managed to share some of Xixi's portion so it can't have been that bad.
At about 3pm Nezha reminded me that I'd said I'd arranged going swimming today. Oh damn I'd totally forgotten about that, and couldn't really get out of it so I said I'd check it out. I called A Wu who told me the name of the place. I thought it was the reservoir but he said it was Luxian Hu and when I looked it up it pretty much was the same reservoir, and only a few minutes away by car. So I said I'd get some more stuff from the supermarket and we could have a bite to eat there as you do. But Tan was saying it was dangerous and we shouldn't swim there. Well I've been there a couple of times before and there are plenty of people swimming with suitable rings and life jackets, even if there is no guard.
So I went out to pick up more beer and various snacks from Guanmart, but not before I saw a lorry trundling past shooting out sprays of water into the air behind it. I've seen these before from a distance and always thought it was some sort of disgusting exhaust, but this year someone had explained that it was just to put more moisture in the atmosphere (apparently not for the trees but it can't harm them). So I followed it for a few seconds and indeed got a bit wet in its wake, and refreshed a little I continued to Guanmart to get the stuff.
Watering Pingguo
Back home we packed towels and a change of underwear and Tan scolded us again saying you weren't allowed to swim there and sent a message from a friend who's said it was dangerous and every year someone drowns there. We said we'd get life jackets but she still kept insisting we mustn't go in the water, and Leilei was getting really embarrassed in front of Nezha. I got a bit annoyed and said I'd been there before with A Wu and the kids, and that if she wouldn't order a didi che we'd just find one ourselves. This would be the only chance this holiday for going for a swim in the lake, so she reluctantly ordered one which turned up not a minute later.
10 minutes later we were there, but there were very few people swimming and nowhere to get a life jacket, so Leilei led us along a path for a couple of hundred metres until we happened upon a second car park with far more cars and people, and yes this was the place we'd been to before. We saw some people getting into a dinghy and I asked a shopkeeper if we could hire one but she answered in the negative. I asked why and she gave some answer I didn't really get, so asked how the other people were getting on the boat. Ah, apparently they'd brought their own one. So unfortunately we couldn't get a boat ride unlike 10 years ago with A Wu, but at least she sold life jackets for 25 kuai each which I thought was pretty cheap considering they could indeed save one. I got one each for the boys and they got changed and ventured down to the side of the lake, but try as he might, Leilei wasn't having any of it as he really unfortunately never mastered the art of swimming despite my best efforts taking them when younger. In fact he could swim a bit but stopped going and just lost confidence. He was really upset about it and I was too - it made me think of that Topsy and Tim book where Tim was too scared to go in the pool.
Ready but not really able yet
Not as busy as usual due to the weather apparently
But it just wasn't going to happen and he angrily snorted "I fucking hate swimming", which really meant "I can't stand the fact that I can't swim" even though he would have floated fine in the warm water. Nezha was pretty confident out in the lake so I had a beer and some cucumber crisps before he came back half an hour later. I sort of wanted to go, and in the end logicked myself into doing it as I knew I wouldn't regret it. Annoyingly my swimming shorts had lost any elasticity they may have had, so once in the water as soon as I started my front crawl they were half way down my bum. Whatever, what would anyone do if they saw? I swam to the middle easily as I wasn't slowed down by a life jacket, then thought sod it I'd go all the way to the other side. There I got chatting to a bloke and some kids for a bit which seemed to entertain them, then made my excuses and headed back, but I met Nezha halfway back and he said he wanted to go to the other side too and could I join him as he couldn't speak Chinese. Fair enough, it was a bit more exercise and it wasn't sunny so there was little chance of sunburn. We went, we didn't talk much, then we turned and headed the 200 metres or so back. I've hardly done any exercise at all in the last six weeks but it felt pretty easy and a couple of people commented on how well I could swim. I was one of the few who was not in a life jacket, or attached to some buoyancy aid of one type or another so I guess looked a bit more professional.
Use your imagination for a buoyancy aid
I noticed that actually there was a sign saying the lake was deep and swimming was not allowed, but in this case there were plenty of families with young kids all in the water. I mean with a buoyancy aid there's not much to worry about right? A father who was there with his kids asked Nezha if they could borrow the life jackets we bought, and I said of course they could. And then later as they were leaving they asked if they could keep them which I thought was a bit cheeky but we wouldn't need them again and I wasn't planning on taking them home.
A sign on the right saying swimming is forbidden and a shop in the background selling life jackets and inflatable rings
After getting changed I walked down to the shaded eating area to find five blokes eating and drinking. Of course they invited me over and I sat with them for a quick chat. I didn't want to drink the baijiu they were drinking so went and fetched four cans of beer and Nezha joined for a few minutes while we cai ma'd. They'd evidently been there most of the afternoon and were fairly well-oiled, so after a few photographs I left them to get on and called Tan to get us a didi che back, and after a couple of phone calls the driver managed to find us. 10.5 kuai for the whole journey was ridiculously cheap!
As we'd only really had a few snacks by the time we got back after 7pm, I was quite ok to receive an IM from A Wu telling me to come to the bosses office to drink beer. I said I'd grab a quick shower and be over soon, and got the usual "kuai yi dian" in response. Leilei decided to go to Li Kun's studio by himself and I had no problem with him being independent, but he'd taken the black dian dong che, leaving only the crappy big red one with knackered batteries. But it was better than walking and soon after 8pm I was there, but it was the house next door for some reason.
A Wu saw me through the half-opened door and pulled me in to great cheers. Apparently it was his boss Li Laoban's birthday, and I was made to sit next to him and before I knew it I was gan bei'ing left, right, and centre. I was even forced by A Wu to do a little speech. I had nothing planned so on the spot said Li Laoban didn't know me but was so welcoming to me that he must be a great boss to all of you (yes apparently he was the other bosses' boss too), and A Wu beamed a great smile to let me know I'd done well.
Li Laoban thrust a tiny glass of baijiu and begrudgingly I gan bei'd it with him as if to acknowledge his superiority over the others, but quickly followed up with a beer to attempt to remove the taste. He also told me to come back tomorrow to continue, but somehow I doubted he'd remember that. I had chicken breast thrust in my bowl and did my best to eat it before more stuff was put there. After half an hour or so I noticed Li Laoban was no longer there, but I'm learning this is pretty normal, he'd probably gone next door for a snooze. Then the fairly pretty lady who walked in the other day walked in again in her white dress looking relatively angelic. She proceeded to smile and sit down and eat a full meal without engaging in conversation. Maybe she was one of their wives? I sort of wanted to find out but I felt a rumbling down below that didn't feel at all good. I might have had the time to go home on the black dian dong che but the red one was far too slow so I realised I'd have to eject on a squatter again. In fact I realised even the black bike wouldn't have got me home in time...I wonder what it was...had I imbibed some water from the lake?
A few bosses left at table after Li Laoban when for a snooze
Advertising friend had texted me to ask what I was doing and I told her I was in a boss meal, and apparently she was too, and that we were to go a bar about an hour later. This worked for me and gave me an excuse to leave half an hour later, and go home to heat up the last leftover jiaozi for Xixi and chill for a bit before the next stint of the evening.
Luckily Leilei was back so I could take the black bike, and met Advertising friend and her mates in the open area of the "Club" I'd been to a couple of weeks earlier with bbq friend. Oh dear, it was Belgian beer, but whatever, I knew I wouldn't be under too much pressure here, and the food was a lot more edible than that at the bosses' place I'd just been to. It ended up being a cool evening and yeah a little cai ma of course. At around half past midnight I used the genuine excuse of getting some bbq sweetcorn for Xixi and Advertising friend sorted it out on Weixin including paying for it (only 10 kuai), and I was glad to see it was on the way back home just next to Huang's seafood place. So I had a happy daughter who devoured all 10 sticks of the stuff, then had a beer or two catching up with Mat and Awl before bed at 3am.
Happy sweetcorn lady
And shortly after Xixi asked me for the PureVPN password. Xixi? She already had it...ah it was for mama.... I had told Tan to download the client and set it up before going to China but she said she'd have no time to use it but suddenly after a few days she wanted to access YouTube...luckily my account allows for up to 10 devices concurrently.
