Xixi's unsuccessful first day at school but England qualify

Up at 6am yet again! Put some clothes in the wash and some out to dry. Although the rain stopped a couple of days ago it's very humid, and the clothes still take forever to dry outside. Well not as forever as when it was raining and I was worried I'd have to re-wear my sweaty boxer shorts again (no, I would have gone to the market to get some new ones).

Got the kids ready for school, Leilei didn't want to wake up so I pretended I was having a spinning top battle on his back thus tickling him awake...that did the trick. Xixi was a little easier as I just had to mention going on the electic bike to school and she woke immediately as excited as a girl would be who was about to go to school at long long last...

Once there I dropped off Leilei at his class and was pretty much ok about me going this time. Then it was Xixi's turn...she suddenly balked when faced with walking into a classroom filled with noisy kids who doubled in volume as soon as they saw her. They were welcoming her but not in a way she understood. However, we went to the adjoining playroom and she played with me for a bit while the others ate their breakfast. Then, one-by-one they came into the playroom to play with her. She wasn't too happy sharing and went to punch one of the kids but at least she wasn't scared of them.

After a few minutes all the kids got together and paired-up into a line for a walk around the school. I held hands with Xixi and we stayed at the back. I got her to hold on to the tee-shirt of the girl in front as we snaked through the main doors and outside into the main foyer bit of the school. As we were walking around, Xixi spotted a climbing frame and made a dash for it. She was tearful when I brought her back explaining that we were in school now and had to do things together.

Then it got more difficult as we passed the sandpit (with dark grey sand) as Leilei's class was there playing in it. That was it, we left the rest of the class to walk to the back of the school as Xixi and Leilei played contentedly with the sad sand. Then a few minutes later I decided she needed to get back with the class, who by now were doing morning exercises in the playground. It was really nice to see this - Chinese of all ages spend a good deal of time stretching etc. But not Xixi today; she wouldn't even let me join in. We then went back to class and I sat on one of the tiny chairs with her, but she wouldn't let me leave her so although it was not yet 9.30am I called it a day and took her home saying we'd try later or tomorrow. Maybe she just is a bit too young now.

At least she spent a little time playing

Xixi and Leilei playing in the dark sand

I tried to take this without them noticing me for fear of losing a limb

Slightly amusing Tai Kwon Do WTF

At home Waipo was there. I had to pop out to get some stuff and by the time I got back she'd taken Xixi out somewhere. So after some time checking emails I did one of the things I really enjoy here and went for a ride on the "dian dong che" - the electric bike that was given to A Ni years ago that she doesn't use as she doesn't want her skin to get dark. I have appropriated this bike the last couple of times we have been here and ensured it was re-appropriated this year too. I looked around the relatively new basketball stadium and found a group of oldish people brandishing swords. Luckily they weren't threatening me, rather this was more of a martial art I believe. Still, like I said, old and young, they like their exercise.

Back at home Lin Hong (the cousin who's helping us with the house purchase/decoration) rang me to say she was coming round to pick me up to look at tiles for the kitchen and bathroom. Ok, I said, give me 5 mins while I just have a shower and I'll be ready. 30 minutes and a shower later she rang again to tell me she wasn't coming. But I said I was ready so she said she would come...that's the way it is around here. She had a friend/cousin in the car and we went to a friend's tile shop where we looked at the fare. We'll probably go for light brown tiles for the smallish kitchen and Tan and I will have to argue about the bathroom as she wants dark grey and black (v. expensive) and I want a brighter white/yellow. Also Tan wants two "ma dong" - western style toilets - and I want one of each. Lin Hong agrees with me, especially as when we have local guests who might not be used to sitting as opposed to squatting. The western style one can be the en-suite while the "normal" squatter can be the main one.

From the shop, we took one of the friends to show me her daughter's new house, which had recently been furnished as she had just got married. On the way a slightly funny thing happened. There is a newish pedestrianised area which leads into the housing complex we were going to. It has bollards to prevent cars getting in as many a UK one does. However these bollards are suffiently spaced that pretty much any car can actually get through. And so you see it looks a bit like a normal street except all the cars slow down drastically as it's a tight squeeze. A bit too tight for Lin Hong in the end, as we spent a good two minutes with her holding up traffic trying to line up properly to get through. It was quite embarrassing as a "bunch" (I hate that term but it fits here) of Americans who are here for a week or so walked past at that time, at least it would have been embarrassing if all Chinese cars didn't have blacked-out windows. When Lin Hong finally gave up (I nearly suggested I'd drive through but didn't want her to lose face), she parked on the side of the road and we walked a whole minute to the house in question. It was actually rather a lovely apartment with four bedrooms and very spacious as 148 square metres can afford. We had a look at the kitchen, which I approved of, and the very expensive bathroom (which I didn't), and I was slightly peeved that our place paled in comparison to this one.

Not getting through the gap

Lin Hong then dropped me back home, from where I took the bike to the nearest eatery and ate some noodles with a beer then went for a nice siesta before the evening that was to hold the destiny of English football for the next few days at least.

I didn't wake till nearly 4.30pm, so didn't have much time to get on the bike to pick up Leilei, but I found Xixi sleeping on the couch (she'd had one hour according to Waipo). I whispered in her ear that I was going to pick up Leilei from school and she woke immediately! So she took her position standing at the front of the electric moped and we went to pick him up in the boiling heat that our transport made bearable by providing a breeze. I let the kids play on the climbing frames while chatting on the phone to mum (English mum). I saw our American friend walk past with a couple of his kids and asked if he would be watching the match tonight (USA have an important must-win match too). He said he indeed would be, or words to that effect.

Well this evening we were invited to a meal by Xili for her daughter's first birthday. She'd been born while we were in China last year but we hadn't seen her as it is customary for mother and child to stay indoors for the first month after birth here.

A Wu came to pick up Leilei and me. I had brought some England footy flags and party stuff from the UK, and put two car window flags on A Wu's aging Toyota, surely the only such car for many a mile around! He wasn't too sure about it at first but on the short drive to the restaurant bathed in the attention he was getting from all the people outside!

A Wu and his chavved up car. I told him to wear his England top but he brought his Man City top I gave him a couple of years ago thinking that was it. I have no problem with that

Xili's daughter's first anniversary meal

The meal was a family occasion and there were three tables in the private room laid out for us. It was in the same restaurant I've already been to four times in the last week but the food is good here generally. As is my wont, I ended up playing cai ma with some of the family I hadn't met before and didn't do as well as I normally do, though in this case it was a good thing as it was not much more than an hour till kickoff. I left before the end of the meal in order to kit out the bar we were to watch the footy at. The waitresses helped me blow up some balloons and stick up the bunting and other stuff. All in all we created not a bad looking England area around the tv.

 

Getting ready for the England - Slovenia match in Number 5 Cafe

As 10 o'clock drew, more friends arrived, and unexpectedly (in a good way), our American friend dropped in too. I warned him we wouldn't be showing the USA game but he was fine with that and had come for the atmosphere. Well by kickoff the atmosphere was kicking too; the beers were poured and the party whistles blowing. On 22 minutes Jermain Defoe's goal was met by cheers from all the bar. There were more oohs and aahs from our various missed chances but the better team won on the night. On the stroke of full time one of the barmaids switched to the USA game and a second later they scored the goal that was to qualify them in first place. Amazing stuff for our American friend and although I was not happy about not coming first in the group we high-fived as I'd have taken that result before the match started.

I came back happy but slightly the worse for wear as the neighbouring table had ordered a bottle of whisky and suggested I share a glass or two with them, together with a fair few weak beers.

First day back at school

Up at 7am for Leilei's first day back at school. He was a little reluctant to let me go but no tears. The kids in his class remembered him. I went out with a list of things to buy for the next three weeks: a towel/cover for sleeping, felt-tip pens, pencils, a writing book for characters and one for something else, plus a drawing book. On the way to the shops Ma Laoban (Horse Boss, honestly, isn't there anyone who isn't a boss around here?), the boss of my local computer shop and good friend for four years shouted out my name "Peng Duoming!", and I instinctively turned around. He asked me if I'd eaten breakfast and I said no, which was an invitation to do so. We had savoury pancakes and a very nice dumpling together with cold soya milk drink which I'm not too keen on. Then he took me to his friend's shop to get the stuff I needed for Leilei's school - 6 kuai for all the pens and books. I then picked up an Aotoman (like a Chinese Spiderman) school bag for 20 kuai from the market and a 55 kuai towel from the supermarket.

I brought the stuff to his teacher and then she told me he also needed a pillow and two changes of top as the kids can get sweaty...she could have told me when she gave me the list. She also told me my Chinese was worse than two years ago which didn't please me one bit; most people had said "yue lai, yue hao" which means the more time you spend, the better it gets...oh well...

Had a bite to eat for lunch at home for once and then got a couple of hours' kip before taking Xixi to pick up Leilei. This time we went to the main office again and I said Xixi would soon be 3 (November is pretty soon), so they said she could go to the "Xiao Ban" class (little half?) which I guess is the youngest one. We went to have a look and the teacher was happy for her to come the next day.

Hurrah hurrah! We have the internet again! And it was what I first thought: someone had bloody cut the line outside our apartment while doing manual work on another place.

Finally got the chance to use my bat when I went to the old people's leisure centre at 7.30pm to meet Boss Yang. This time I spent more time concentrating on my serves (backspin) and being highly criticised when any one failed. Also I got in trouble for doing too many backhands when I should have been moving my body more and smashing with my forehand.... I was dripping wet by the time Tan called at 10pm to ask me to look after the kids as she was going out. Leilei was already asleep by the time I got back but the little madam most certainly was not and she was due to go to school the next day. By 11pm I gave up trying to get her to sleep and gave her to Waipo as she'd been asking. Then I sneaked out to watch the second half of France's loss 2-1 to South Africa. And thanks to having a connection at home again I could read about the incredible collapse of French football! Here's hoping we won't be the next...

Chavvy moment

Up at 5am...grrr....still no internet...double grrrr.... Went for a walk at 6am with the keys to our new place and this time went all the way to the top of the building to see what I could see. There was a nice view of the guang chang that gives an idea of its enormity.

The enormity of the guang chang

I happened to bring an England flag with me, as you do when going for random walks around China, and had a chavvy moment and hung it up just inside the window of the living room so that I could see which apartment was ours from the outside. Sorry.

Pingguo Chavs

At mid-morning I went to the Police station with kids to register where we were staying. I should have done this the day we arrived in Pingguo, but the policeman behind the counter, who was the same as last year and the year before, didn't seem to mind, and went back to concentrating on his cigarette as I spent the next 40 minutes filling in the one-page forms for the kids and me, 30 minutes of which was spent writing our address in Chinese characters as I don't have the pin yin version. Then I found I needed passport photos too. From memory this is a big deal in China where you have to go to an official place and they charge about 80 kuai for 6 photos. Well I was prepared and had already got some home-made passport photos thanks to epassportphoto.com, a godsend for people with young kids (and a printer). I nipped back, dumped the kids and gave the three photos to the bloke and that was that sorted out for this year.

On the way back I topped up Tan's and my phone, and sorted a month's worth of Internet for 8 kuai up to 50MB (pretty cheap I think, so basically have internet/email/IM on the go now). I also noticed a couple of Western women getting their bikes fixed, one of whom looked like the wife of the American family who were living here a couple of years' ago with their three kids, who we got to know.

Back home I got an email (on my phone!) from the husband of the American family saying his wife had noticed someone who looked like me in the street, and was it me? And if so welcome back. They'd moved back last week like us after a year elsewhere to study Chinese properly (I guess Pingguo doesn't have the teachers). I gave him a ring and we arranged to meet up next week for a catch-up meal. He also mentioned that his youngest daughter was going to the "you er yuan" (school) that Leilei went to two years' ago which reminded me I intended to see if we could do the same this year.

Had a siesta and got up in time to take Leilei to school to see if they would take him for the remainder of the term. Xixi wanted to come too but they both needed a shower. The problem was that while Leilei was having his shower Xixi decided to lock herself in the bedroom. Try as I might I could not coax her to unlock the door. She sounded fine and chatty but just wouldn't play ball and unlock the door. I looked in vain for a key to open the door from my side, but after five minutes gave up and called Tan's 2nd sister to ask what else I could do. There was nothing for it and I told Xixi to stand away from the door. It took a couple of goes but I kicked the door in to find the little madam furiously squirting my expensive Christian Dior eau de toilette around the room with a wicked look on her face; she had already emptied my deodorant. She was completely oblivious to the fact that I'd just kicked in the door.

It was too late to shower Xixi so I took Leilei to school and asked if he could go for the remainder of the term. They said yes so I paid up 285 kuai and said we would come tomorrow, school closes 15th July anyway. Xixi also wants to go to school but the people in the office said at two and a half she was too young.

I took Leilei out to the place with the big screen opposite our house where he actually ate a decent amount of "chao fen" - fried noodles, and a barbequed sausage, and I watched Portugal take a 1-0 lead against North Korea in the first half of the match. Then I got a call to meet Boss Yang in "Number 5 Cafe" with Leilei (I could call him "Boss Sheep" but it doesn't sound so bossy). A Wu came to pick us up even though it's a minute's walk away from where we were watching the footy. He announced he was first taking us to a place to meet some more bosses. I countered that we were already invited to meet Boss Yang but A Wu said he'd told him we'd be a little later than planned. I hate this hijacking he tends to do just to show off his English "big brother". I said I'd do it but not for too long. We arrived at the skanky KTV bar I'd unintentionally visited with Xixi yesterday. It was pretty much the same at night and we went into a large room full of bosses in various stages of inebriousness or whatever it was. Despite having Leilei on my knee they tried to offer me cigarettes, and when I declined they lit up anyway sitting next to me. That was enough. Despite them having ordered some special milk for Leilei I got up and walked out. I didn't care if A Wu was going to lose face - anyone expecting me to bring a five year-old into such a place does not have much of a "face" in my book anyway.

We were opposite the guang chang so Leilei and I played silly games there like chasing after each other (silly because of the heat and humidity). We had a good few minutes together and I ignored the phone calls from A Wu. We made our way to "Number 5 Cafe" to meet Boss Yang, but of course A Wu was already there. I didn't talk to him much, and concentrated on the footy. As it happened Portugal were now leading 7-0 with just a few minutes left for Dear Leader to come on as sub and get an octo-trick to blast his glorious country to World Cup glory (I think I missed that bit when I went to the loo).

Lack of sleep and more KTV

I didn't sleep a wink overnight, and worse, there's been no internet at the house since yesterday. There was no connectivity whatsoever from the plug in the wall and I thought at first that the line outside had been cut as there is a lot of work going on in this block. The block is pretty new and a lot of apartments haven't even had work started on them, but the ones that have emit sounds of hammers and electric drills all day long (including Sundays). I don't know if I could get used to a quiet Pingguo now....

Anyway I then got concerned that maybe the internet supplier had got wind of the fact I was using the connection for more than one computer and that maybe this wasn't allowed. Every Chinese house I've been in has just one computer, constantly online - I've never seen a home network except the ones I've created while living here. Then I feared that maybe I had been browsing stuff I shouldn't have such as BBC News (not blocked this year). I asked A Heng to try and sort out the problem and he said he'd call the company tomorrow.

I'd visited the house-selling place we bought our place from a few days ago, and the lady there said that we would be able to pick up the keys on Sunday. I'd given her our contact numbers but rather than wait to be called, Tan, Xixi, Lin Hong and I went there at around 10am and found there was already a number of people there with the same intention. It was the first time keys were available for anyone in the block of I guess 200+ apartments, so we wanted to get there early to avoid queues. It was quite disorganised and Lin Hong helped us a lot by doing most of the queueing and with the paperwork. This was the time of the extra expenses I hadn't been told about such as electricity and water connection fees, and various other taxes. Tan had said it would be a total of 4000 kuai. But when the paperwork came it looked more like 6000 kuai. I asked for an explanation and was fobbed off with some bollocks. Then it actually transpired that it was only 2000 kuai as there was a 2000 reduction because the place was delayed in being built (by 6 months!), and there was a further 2000 kuai reduction as when the finished property was measured it was 0.7 of a metre squared smaller than the official size, and you pay by the metre squared. I didn't argue.

Lin Hong did the queueing and paid via Tan's bank account, so we finally had some paperwork that we could take to the next floor, where a further queue awaited us to actually have the keys handed over. We were given a set of five front door keys, plus two keys that Tan described as ones we should give to the workers who will be doing the decorating so they can get in. I didn't really understand the difference between the two sets, though I'm willing to believe it makes some sort of sense. Maybe you can change a setting in the lock when all the decorating is done and from then on those keys won't work...I'll try to get a straight answer but I won't hold out much hope as this is China.

Well at least the lifts were working so we went up to see the house. One issue though - 14 (our floor) is considered an unlucky number in China (it sounds a bit like "death"), so our address is 15A. I asked what floor we were on and the girls said "15A", so what did we see on the buttons in the lift? 13, 14, 15, 16 etc., I asked which floor then and they looked a bit sheepish as they didn't know. Ha. It transpired that it was indeed the 14th floor, but that our address is 15A (all other floors' addresses begin with the floor number). I foresee a lot of confusion here - I hope the post just arrives in a box at the bottom of the building...it's going to be difficult explaining to people that it's 15A, 14th floor...

 

First tour of our new house, minutes after being handed keys

 

View from the main balcony to the guang chang and below

We don't get a great view of the guang chang, but it could be worse...

It feels rather high up

I texted A Wu to tell him I hadn't slept but that didn't stop him telling me we were going to play badminton in the afternoon and he kept calling while I was doing house stuff to ask if I was ready yet. I eventually relented but explained I needed a pair of trainers so off we drove off with Xixi to the pedestrianised area where his friend's sports shop is situated. I tried on a pair of 361 degree brand leather trainers that were quite comfortable, but then I saw a much lighter pair that took my fancy. I asked to try them on but the young lady said they weren't as good quality. I looked at the price and saw they were 40 kuai cheaper but I wanted them and got her to bring them anyway. They were indeed extremely light and comfortable so I took them. 200 kuai but a third off due to A Wu's discount card. He got himself a top for 100 kuai that I paid for as he's paid for most stuff so far. We got to the badminton place to find it was closed for lunch (good planning). So we waited around at a KTV bar opposite the sports hall. It was a horrible dark place, eerie as there was music playing and a couple of people singing - I think it was the staff relaxing as no-one does karaoke in the afternoon, do they?

Xixi wanted to wander around upstairs and we found a disgusting big room that had not been tidied from the previous night's debaucheries. There was a score of tiny beer glasses, still full, tissues strewn everywhere and a stench twice as bad as any English pub smelt even during the days of smoking. I couldn't even find a clean tissue to wipe Xixi's dripping nose, but while looking noticed a straw and what looked like the remnants of some white powder next to it that Xixi nearly touched. I immediately grabbed her and took her out and downstairs from the filthy pit. Luckily the people had arrived to open the hall, but Xixi would not let me play at all - she would run around on court with me rendering it too dangerous to play seriously. Really she wanted her own racquet, and to play with me, so we found our own piece of space and spent 20 minutes with me throwing her the shuttlecock while A Wu and his friends played on. After a while I had a phone call and said I needed to take Xixi to go and sleep, when in fact it was me.

I did manage about three hours' kip from 4-7pm though did not feel like going out to KTV...but A Wu had insisted because all the big bosses would be there...he likes to show off that he has an English friend but it gets trying at times. The celebration was ostensibly for A Wu's birthday (from three weeks earlier), and although I got there at 9pm sober, the other "bosses" trundled in at various stages of drunkenness. At least there was some football to watch. I gan bei'd as little as I could and joined in a bit of the singing and dancing but it's not fun with little sleep and a still dodgy tummy. I made my excuses and left by midnight, by which time people were throwing the cake into each others' faces which may or may not be part of the culture... A Wu rang me 10 minutes later when he realised I'd left but by then I was home and free. Got to sleep by half midnight.

My own table tennis bat, and la du

Slept till 1.30pm after the disaster that was England Algeria.

Went to eat late lunch with Awu and Boss Yang and a couple of others, then Awu went to have a rest and I went with Boss Yang to get my table tennis bat. We went to a shop that sold sports equipment and he looked at the bats without any rubber on them before deciding on one that was about 250 kuai, or getting on for 30 quid. He explained that it had two layers of carbon in it but I didn't quite understand how that made it better however I'll take his word for it. He chose red and black rubber skins, and left it with the owner to sort out.

We then went to "Number 5" coffee shop, which is a nicely decked out place that serves coffee along with tea and various alcoholic drinks the likes of which I'd rarely seen outside of Shanghai, such as western whisky. I was talking to the boss and saying it was a little similar to European style drinking places, which I meant as a compliment. I said in Europe you would often get free wifi in such establishments as people could work there and would stay longer and order more drinks. He then told me that there was wifi and he proceeded to give me the password for it. I suggested he may like to advertise the fact he had wifi - I'll check when I go next time. And there will be a next time as the place was pretty dead and I would be able to get some work done from there if our internet goes down as I'm sure it will. While we were enjoying a fresh coffee someone came in with my new bat in its new cover. 300 kuai in all and it's lovely...very comfortable to hold and I can't wait to use it. Boss Yang wouldn't let me pay for it saying it was a present from him! I estimate that China is on average four times cheaper than the UK (hard to generalise but I do my best), down from 4.5 times last year. That would mean my bat would have cost 120 quid in the UK.

Unfortunately my tummy was starting to get a bit funny. Not in the ha ha sense unless you find diarrhoea funny (I should have learnt to spell that word after so many times in China). I can't normally squat but in cases like these I make exceptions and made my excuses while walking quickly to the squat loo in the cafe. I came out feeling better but knowing that was not the last time today by a long shot.

A bit later we went to Boss Yang's office to drink tea but tummy troubles continued. After a couple of trips to the squatter I explained I'd better go home. I had intended to go to the supermarket to get some milk and cereal for the kids but once outside I could not even face going there and just went home feeling very sick.

I told Tan about the tummy and she told me to go to A Xia's clothes shop where A Ni would get me some medicine. This was in the form of vanilla flavoured dust in tiny packets about the size of a light tampon cover. I don't know if it did any good; it certainly didn't help instantly.

Later could not eat tea but had to go to KTV (Karaoke TV) for A Hua's birthday celebration. I had very very few beers, just enough to be polite, and my cai ma is good enough to not get drunk on. Later at home I was not tired, so took the bike outside at 2am to see what I could see. There was a large screen with a projector just opposite our house showing pre-match build-up of the next World Cup game so I decided to sit down at a table and have a quick beer. I asked the waitress how long they would stay open till. She pointed to the table with the most people and said "until they leave". That table happened to be next to mine and as soon as my bum had hit my seat I was invited over to have a beer with them. It transpired that two of them were Tan's mum's sister's sons and we were quite close relatives. That was more than an excuse to have a few beers, and we ended up eating and drinking till 3am, when I pointed out it may be a good time to get home. It was agreed that at this time it was a good idea, so we exchanged phone numbers and I hope to catch up with them soon.

What finding relatives at 2am might look like

Ping pong and crap football

At 7pm I went to play table tennis in the old people's social place next to the guang chang (where I passed two Indians looking slightly bemused). I guess this is a very important building as although all around it there are newly built high-rise apartments, this place has remained untouched with its paltry three floors. I noticed they were playing croquet and volleyball too. They actually take it pretty seriously, at least they have a referee and proper scoreboard. I met Boss Yang and we went upstairs to one of the table tennis rooms. Now these are not air-conditioned and you can imagine it gets extremely sweaty. I asked Boss Yang why he was allowed to come to the old peoples' place to play and he explained that he teaches there. I'm sure it is very unofficial, but it is true that all the regulars know him and like him, and he really does train you well with no time for politeness.

Today I was learning how to do proper forehand. Hold the bat at a 45 degree angle at all times and move your arm properly. It's amazing how effective this was. I remember him teaching me two years ago but not exactly what he taught, so it was somewhat back to basics. I felt I'd improved 100% within half an hour. My serves were still crap though but he said we'd look at that another time. I got beaten by two or three old-timers who popped in to watch, but wasn't too embarrassed - they had a great teacher. Boss Yang said he'd help me get my own proper bat tomorrow - I was using his but it was not very comfortable as I use the European grip as opposed to the Chinese grip, and Boss Yang's bat has a much shorter handle as it was made for the Chinese grip (that's my excuse anyway).

Tan called me at 9pm screaming that there was no electricity in the house or in the surrounding area and it was pitch black; apparently Waipo knew that this was going to happen and had not told her. In all honesty she had said something to me about electricity earlier in the day but in my defence I didn't really understand what she was talking about. So I told Boss Yang I had to sort stuff out, and sweating like a cold glass of beer in a hot pub garden I leapt on the bike and rode to a place I know that sells lights. It was quite eerie riding through the town - I've known Pingguo with parts of it devoid of electricity for periods of time but it seemed like the whole place was dark. And quiet. No pumping of Chinese rock music from the mobile phone shops or hawking of various wares. I got to the shop I knew and explained that we had no electricity at home and realised at once that was about the most stupid and obvious thing to say as the boss turned on his torch to walk inside his shop to find me something. He came out with a couple of rechargeable torches at 12 and 13 kuai each. Thankfully they were at least partly charged. I got home and found that the place was candlelit, so much for pitch black. Tan had presumed that there would be no hot water but I hadn't so I took one of the torches into the bathroom and had a nice shower before being called by Boss Yang saying he was going to take me out to watch football at the only bar in Pingguo with electricity. Shit. The England match was on later (much later at 2.30am) - would the electricity be back by then?

The bar was pretty rocking. Most people had tables close to the large screens for the Slovenia - USA game, and there was one free a bit further away but right next to the air conditioning unit. In typical style various friends including A Wu came to our table during the course of the evening. Boss Yang's wife was there too - she is about 8 months' preggars and I normally wouldn't be too happy about her sitting in a bar where most men were smoking but because the air-con was blowing away from us we were pretty smoke-free. I love the fact that the Chinese have really got into the World Cup, despite not qualifying. They cheer every goal and are genuinely excited about the whole thing. We stayed till well after midnight consuming copious amounts of "qi du" beer. This is one of the "Li Quan" brand beers and is only 3.1%, but more expensive than the stronger ones due to something that I have yet to understand. The leccy was still down, but A Wu found that his house was in one of the few places that still had it, so he and A Ni drove there at some time after 1am. There were one and a half hours to kill but he had beer in the fridge so we made use of it on a slower scale as we were getting weary. Eventually the game started and as far as I remember I've never seen such utter crap in a competitive game from England in my life. You stay up so late and are treated to that. Pathetic. Tan texted me just after the second half started to say the electricity had come back and I told A Wu I'd walk home rather than watch this shite, but of course he insisted on driving me as the streets were not safe blah blah blah. Back home I watched the rest of the match online, not thinking for a minute we'd score and being sadly shown to be correct. Got to sleep at 4.30am.

Setting up wireless router

I didn't really feel like going out for lunch, but there was no food in the house and the wife and kids were going to meet A Ni in the Ming Dian hotel. We took a three-wheeler to get there but we were a little late as Tan couldn't find her sunglasses and refused to leave until she did. A Hua was also there waiting for us. Then A Wu and Boss Yang came too, moaning about having drunk too much last night. There was another westerner having a meal in the restaurant too...seems like Pingguo is becoming quite international. After the meal I took the kids back for a siesta...a near necessity in this heat.

A Wu invited us and a number of other friends to a nice big dinner at the same restaurant as a year ago when A Wu started his company. There was a table for the ladies and kids, and one for the blokes as it should be. Actually the one genuine good thing about this arrangement is that the kids and ladies don't get exposed to nearly as much smoke as they would otherwise. We played cai ma and I once again won more than I lost. Now I can even beat A Wu half the time. Boss Yang reminded me that he had taught me some table tennis two years ago, and now I remembered him properly. He invited me to play tomorrow and I accepted eagerly. I really enjoy this sport despite the fact that here I've been beaten by pensioners.

Clockwise from pink: Boss Huang, Jie fu, a mate, me, A Wu, Boss Yang, A Dong, A Wu's big brother (I think)

The ladies' and children's table at A Wu's meal

Xixi getting my attention

We later moved on to KTV - the same people were invited but there weren't quite as many people as at the meal. I had to do the traditional party pieces of "Pengyou" in Cantonese and "Ni shi wo de mei gui hua" in Mandarin, plus the chorus of a new song I'm being told to learn "You mei you ren ceng gao su ni" ("Did anyone tell you?").

Our bill at the karaoke place. A Wu had written my name as he thought it was (Doin nike). I signed my name in Chinese about 3/4 of the way down slightly on the right (should read 彭多明)

The main plus point about today was that I managed to set up the old wireless router I'd brought from the UK to work with the internet connection here. I was doubtful that it would work as the house just has an ethernet port in the wall, and the router is meant to be used as a DSL modem/router. However I thought I had nothing to lose by putting an ethernet cable from the wall into port 1 of the router, and configuring it as I would for a normal DSL line. Hey Presto it just worked! I ran an ethernet cable from the router to the house's PC, and then set up wireless security and we had connectivity for my laptop, Tan's netbook and both our phones. It sounds geeky but it's really important to have that link to the family and the rest of the world.

North Korea only lost 2-1 to Brazil then early flight to Nanning

Slept for only 2 hours and woke up at half time during the Brazil v N Korea match. Leilei woke up shortly after so we watched the second half together and saw the North Koreans score a good goal and only lose 2-1 - amazing stuff! As the first free shuttle bus to the airport wasn't until 6.30am, and our plane was at 7.50am, we decided to get two taxis there at 6am to be sure. I'd packed the eight bottles of duty-free booze into our check-in luggage as we have to do here. When in discussions with the bloke in the duty-free in Heathrow he found out that adults could take two bottles each to China if staying under six months. then I realised Waipo was going to be staying a lot longer, I mean indefinitely, so reasoned she was able to take another two, so we got a couple of bottles of Pims for more friends. This did mean we were really weighed down, and the internal flight had a limit of 20kg per person compared with the 23kg Virgin allowed to HK. My bag weighed nearly 30kg and I was concerned until the lady said it was 5 x 20kg with no limit per-bag. After all bags were weighed it came to exactly 100kg so I breathed a sigh of relief. Just as well I didn't bring a bread-maker and toaster...

We arrived a little late at 9.30am in Nanning with lots of friends to greet us. By 9.45am we were in the cars - Er Jie's (Tan's 2nd sister) was a new Mitsubishi jeep even though she can't drive, and A Wu brought his old Toyota Zefiro. We drove straight to Pingguo where we met others for a meal and beer of course. Afterwards we went to Er Jie's house where we're going to be staying, and on the way I saw a couple of Western women in a san lun che (don't see that very often).

I slept for four hours before an evening meal in our house then A Wu called and said he was picking me up in 2 mins - this is true A Wu style. We drove to his work and gave his workers two cases of beer to go with their meal and then sat down to eat and drink with them. A Wu explained that it was good to treat your workers well as they will like to work for you and produce the goods, one of the few times I have really agreed with him. Then we drove the 10 minutes back to Pingguo to join yet another meal with some bosses and I had to do a lot of gan bei'ing and cai ma'ing...this went on till midnight by which point most of the bosses were very drunk. However we did get to see Spain being beaten by Switzerland.

When we got back Tan and the kids went to sleep but I wanted to use the internet on the computer in what I thought was the spare room. I wanted to stay to watch the S Africa - Uruguay game but fell asleep well in advance. But at 2.30am (when the game was to start) I was awoken by A Heng (Tan's big brother's son) coming back from wherever he spends his evenings (he's about 20). Apparently it was his room. He didn't seem to mind too much and just went to the living room to sleep on the sofa where Waipo was too. As I was awake I decided to watch the footy but I probably lasted 15 minutes before falling back into the arms of Morpheus.

Some photos of Tan's second sister's house in Pingguo where we're staying

Living room tv

Comfortable sofa, if not my choice of colour

Dining table, with front door in background

Nice simple kitchen

Back to China in 2010

Back Again!

Here we are again. Barely a year ago we were leaving from HK, and we just arrived this evening on flights nearly double the price (June rather more pricey than September but still cheaper than July). The kids were ok on the flight and slept a good deal of the way - much nicer than when a few months old. I even managed a couple of hours and Waipo didn't have her usual travel sickness (maybe because she vomited most of whatever she had in the taxi to the airport). Although I'd checked online that the last ferry to Shenzhen airport was 9.30pm, it appeared that it was in fact at 7.50pm. Lucky then that we arrived nearly an hour early, and very convenient that we didn't actually disembark in HK, rather we just gave the luggage details to the boat company and they arranged for our suitcases to be put on board the ferry.

It was good that the airport had wifi so I was able to send a few emails to family to say we'd arrived so far so safely, then we took the hour-long ferry journey to mainland China. So nice and easy compared to normal entry into China. Thankfully our luggage was all there so no waiting around a carousel, just pick it up from a storage unit once we'd arrived. Then no more than five minutes getting through immigration. At customs I started putting our suitcases through the x-ray scanner but I was told not to bother and before we knew it we were waiting for the free shuttle bus to the airport. It was a bit of a long-winded way to get to the hotel as there was another free shuttle bus for that, but at least it was waiting at the airport. So we were in our rooms by around 10pm, but Tan was hungry and the hotel had stopped serving food. Never a problem in China. We walked out and found a place within 50 yards, where the kids were admired by all the patrons despite their non-perfect behaviour.
Back in the hotel I got Leilei to sleep in our "men's" room, while the ladies got showered etc in theirs. Didn't manage to sleep till 1.30am.

Could have been a lot worse...finally on way back

Finally finally. We packed up, paid our bills and walked to the nearest tube station. Hong Kong had been more than ok, considering the circumstances - I mean there are far more places I'd rather not be stuck with a chickenpoxy daughter. It took a bit longer than we hoped at the airport. But if they had complained about not coming back to the airport doctor to get a "fit to fly" certificate I'd have done my nut. Anyway, after some altercations with the paperwork we were checked in, and they waved a blind eye at my overweight luggage when I explained we'd had to stay a week longer than planned.

For the first time since 2003 I was actually happy to be on the plane back to the UK. It was fairly uneventful, and luckily we got a seat at the bulkhead with a mother and her kid. So Xixi didn't sleep for ages and I was so looking forward to a relaxing glass of red. This did eventually happen but I was so exhausted it didn't really count.

And that was it for another year. A great time again at our home-from-home. A house sale agreed. My brother having his first Pingguo experience. My American colleague also getting the Pingguo taste. There was rarely a dull moment, and that's why I love being there - chickenpox cannot affect that.

Finally fit to fly!

I decided that Xixi's spots were sufficiently dry that I'd arrange to take her to the doctor. After an online search I managed to find one that was able to see us that day that was a bit of a walk away. Well we had time on our hands and didn't want to cheat by using a taxi, so we set off through one of the many parks around here. At the doctor's the receptionist spoke English to us. We waited a handful of minutes before being seen. When we were I mentioned that the airport doctor said we needed to come back to see him, but this doctor agreed with me and said that was stuff and nonsense. He also derided the decision not to let Xixi fly. However, after writing a "fit to fly" certificate (phew) he did also sell us some lotion for her spots for another tenner. I didn't argue. We were now in the clear to go home.


Xixi happy with the doctor's verdict

After the doctor we stopped off at a local outside eatery and had some dumplings. It was a cheap, but enjoyable time with other normal Hong Kongers. We then played in the local park for a bit before Xixi was shattered and fell asleep while being pushed back to the hotel. I'd have loved to do so myself but I rang Virgin and arranged to get the next flight tomorrow. Later we gave the good news to the family back home, and had a relatively quiet last night in Hong Kong.

Bonding is the bright side while we're stuck here

Well if nothing else this unexpected sojourn in Hong Kong has proven to be a nice bonding exercise with Xixi. She's quite naughty but very lovable and seemingly enjoying every minute. We went out to look around Kowloon a bit more tonight. We got a bit lost and encountered some more rain, though not as heavy as yesterday. If yesterday was the clouds giving birth, today was more of a placenta. We shared another rather difficult meal outside before realising we didn't know which bus to get back. We asked a couple of policemen and although they tried in English it ended up being quicker to sort it out in Mandarin. However we ended up getting a 4 quid cab back to the hotel as it's a hassle getting the buggy onto a busy bus.

Third day and hotel in Hong Kong

After breakfast on the 14th floor Xixi and I checked out and got a taxi to the hotel I booked yesterday. This was much nicer, if not so central, and around 30 quid a night. I imagine it had seen better business when the airport was in use, but it was clean, and much quieter than our previous one.

One thing I've noticed here is that pretty much everyone selling something speaks Mandarin. I daresay that wasn't the case just a few years ago. This makes life a lot easier. After getting dressed I realised I had no clean clothes left. No problem, there were plenty of local shops near our hotel and we went to these and did a little bargaining. One shop gave a free pair of pants when they heard our story of the chickenpox!

We met my friend Mr Kam from last year. Unfortunately his wife couldn't make it as she had an exam or something. He took us to a vibrant restaurant in a shopping centre not 10 minutes walk from our hotel. The food was excellent but Xixi's behaviour wasn't. She was extremely excitable and kept running off among the other tables. While this was acceptable, even amusing behaviour in China, it wasn't appreciated quite so much here, so I was on an endless quest to find her and bring her back, in between taking her to the loo. I think that may have given Mr Kam an idea of what it's like to have young kids and I hope he doesn't rush into it too soon. Anyway, what food I ate I enjoyed, and of course he insisted on paying.

After bidding 88, Xixi and I went for a walk again. We saw a really cool orange Lotus before the heavens opened as I'd predicted. Luckily, most buildings overhang the pavements so you can get some cover as you walk back. Xixi had her nap and I checked her spots...not really crusty yet so I booked another night. In the evening we decided to take a bus to downtown Kowloon where we paid another visit to the geek street and I bought a couple of tripods (one for Andge), 5 electric adapters from anywhere to UK, and a pair of tracksuit bottoms. Err, and a bottle of wine that was on offer.


A pretty girl with a pretty car


The not-too-inspiring view from our East Kowloon hotel (the old airport)


The view from the hotel looks a bit better at night (with a long exposure)

When we got back we went online and had a nice webcam chat with Leilei, mama and Waipo. It's these aspects of modern technology that make setbacks such as our experience a lot easier to manage.

Xixi reaching out to Leilei 5000 miles away


Xixi happy, if still chickenpoxy

Xixi was particularly excited and wouldn't sleep till 11pm so I didn't get much chance to appreciate my bottle of wine though.

Second day in Hong Kong

I'm not used to waking up in a strange place with my daughter, but I may have to get used to it for a bit. I'm resigned to the fact that we'll be here 4-5 days at least, so we'll need to find somewhere else to stay, preferably a little less expensive too.

So I found a slightly cheaper hotel in Kowloon and we checked out and got the train to downtown Hong Kong. Unfortunately the hotel was covered in bamboo scaffolding (we have that in Guangxi, but I didn't think I'd see it in HK), but I couldn't be bothered to find another place. We went out for lunch then Xixi had a nap while I looked for a new place for tomorrow. I got in contact with a bloke I'd met last year in HK when I came here for one evening as I wasn't allowed to spend more than 60 days in China in one go. We arranged to meet up for a meal the next day. I booked a hotel on the East side of Kowloon, right next to where the old airport used to be.

After Xixi woke up from her nap, the afternoon started to comprise loud banging and drilling to accompany the scaffolding. So we went out to Kowloon to explore. It was quite stifling outside, though with pregnant clouds looking days overdue to give birth to a deluge overhead. After walking around for a bit evening arrived and we found a street selling lots of things that baba liked, such as mini-tripods, and a movement sensor that shouted a welcome in Mandarin when triggered. Although intended for a shop (Ma Laoban has one in his computer shop), I thought it would make a good burglar alarm back home! We tried to enjoy a nice meal outside (with zhou for Xixi), but she was in a naughty mood and kept running away from our table. It took some getting used to, but here she isn't such a little treasure as she is in mainland China, and I'm certainly nothing special at all!

The other thing I did was to buy a SIM card and let Tan know the number. They had got back ok, which was a big relief. A bonus was that it was cheap to call China too so I could speak to friends there...

Really not a good day

Today was not great.

Waking up at 5am was not great. Having our cab arrive late was not great. Having Tan sprain her ankle in the ensuing rush to get to the boat to take us to Hong Kong was not great. But these were the high points of the day.

Despite Tan's hobbling, and Waipo's stubborn attempts to help me with all the luggage, we were in good time for the plane and breathed a huge sigh of relief when we had finally settled into our seats. Tan started to undress Xixi to get her pyjamas on for the flight. That was when our bad day got a lot, lot worse. One of the air hostesses noticed Xixi's spots from her Chickenpox and said she'd need to get a doctor to check her. To cut a long story, and argument, short, the doctor said Xixi couldn't fly, so we were all taken off the plane and introduced to a confusion-laced pandemonium, with some ignorance thrown in for good measure.

Nobody seemed able to give us proper advice. One thing was clear: Xixi would not be allowed to fly until a doctor had cleared her as being non-contagious, which would be days. So I made the calm announcement that Waipo, Tan and Leilei must take the next flight back to London (that night), and I would stay with Xixi as long as it took. There were tears, but there was not really any practical option; Tan staying with Xixi might have been had she not sprained her ankle.

We were finally advised that I would need to go back to mainland China as there was no official route from this part of the airport to Hong Kong itself; while in the airport we were officially still in mainland China. So while some officials were arranging a boat back to Shenzhen I thought to tell them my double-entry Chinese visa had already used up its entry quota, and that I didn't think I'd be allowed back. "No, no, it is fine", was the response. I wasn't convinced. A few minutes later I was called over to pay for the boat tickets back. "Are you sure I'll be allowed back?" I asked again? "Yes, of course". So I paid for the tickets and went back to console the wife. But I still had a nagging doubt in my mind as I've experience officialdom in these parts before and I don't have complete confidence. I insisted the boat ticket sellers ring the Shenzhen customs and explain my visa situation. They did, and after getting some other people involved in the conversation sheepishly told me I wouldn't be allowed back in with my visa and offered me a refund.

But now there was a different problem; I was not officially allowed to get to Hong Kong from where we were. Well I wasn't prepared to spend a week in an airport with poorly Xixi so again I insisted that some sort of protocol needed to be broken or I would ensure that they would regret it. Eventually some higher-ranking airport official came to sort out the problem. After some sad goodbyes, Xixi and I left the rest of the family for a strange walk through the airport with our luggage, past bemused officials, and after going through passport control again were now officially in Hong Kong. The next step was to go to the airport doctor to get an official "Not fit to fly" certificate. Not only did the certificate cost 40 quid, we were also "advised" to buy some ointment for another tenner. Then we were told that once Xixi's spots had become crusty we could take her back to the doctor to inspect again and give her a "Fit to fly" certificate if all was ok. "Can I go to any doctor to do this?", "No, you must come back here". I had a nagging doubt again.

Our last port of call in the airport was to book a hotel. I just wanted something close for the time-being, and we found that there was a good discount on one of the hotels a few minutes from the airport, as business had not been so good recently - 60 quid for a night was not too bad. After a taxi to the (rather nice) hotel and a shower and poopoo (for Xixi), we went for a walk. It was funny seeing Indians standing at a table in a 7-11 drinking beer from a can. And we saw some white people too. But red was the colour I was interested in. I probably go on about it too much, but I'm still shocked about the quality/style of red wine produced in China when they have such great weather for grape growing. One day I expect them to be exporting some grands crus. One day. But Hong Kong had imports at a similar price to the UK. I got a couple of mini bottles for me, plus some nibbles for us to eat.

Xixi seemed very non-plussed about the whole experience. She took everything in her stride and was a delightful companion. Unfortunately Tan was uncontactable as her Chinese SIM card didn't work in Hong Kong, and she hadn't put her UK one in. That night, over a glass of wine after Xixi had gone to sleep, I hoped they had got on their 11pm flight ok, and wondered what the next few days had in store for us.

Goodbye Pingguo, hello chickenpox

The day of leaving had unwelcomingly arrived like the last orders bell during a particularly good night out.

I was somewhat prepared this time. Yesterday I'd taken a photo of all the clothes I would leave behind so I could travel lighter next time. One thought did cross my mind though: if I keep doing this my clothes will last 5-10 times longer than normal, which could mean for as many years photos of me in China will see me in the same, increasingly unfashionable attire. So I probably will keep bring new clothes anyway.


Some of the clothes I left - so I remember what I have


Xixi looking good in pigtails

Waipo was coming back with us to be with Xixi for a few more months, so we all piled in a couple of cars with various other friends and relatives wishing to send us off. Tan was concerned that Xixi wouldn't be allowed to fly due to having picked up chickenpox from Leilei a few days back. I said of course there would be no problem....

On the road I noticed that for the first time in what seemed months (probably because it was) we wore seatbelts - at least the two people in the front, of which I was thankfully one. It didn't seem to matter for the 7 people piled into the back. The Chinese have come up with something that there is no market for in just about any other Western country: the seatbelt socket protector and prettifier. That's all I can fathom about this contraption that appears to have no other purpose than to sit in the seatbelt socket in place of an actual seatbelt. I think they also need to market a seatbelt socket prettifier holder for those times you do actually need to use your seatbelt....


3 phones and a...seat belt socket protector?


Xixi with Tiantian at the airport


Saying goodbye...

After saying our "zai jian"s after another great stay we took a fairly uneventful evening flight except for the lightning storms that the pilot thankfully navigated inbetween. Upon check-in at the Vienna hotel in Shenzhen we decided to go for a bite to eat despite the late hour, and I sadly realised this would be our last proper Chinese meal this year.

Westerner-less week to catch up with family

Well it's been a quieter week since the Westerners left, and in some ways it's been nice to be just living here rather than showing the sights. As we'll be going in a couple of days I invited a few frends out for a nice bbq at our normal place - Li Kun and his fiancee came, as did Lu Hai and a few others later.


Love my daughter...


Xixi looking rather crazy


Chuanchuan with Leilei


Chuanchuan with Xixi


With Likun

Mango Country

Ailun managed to pack and leave on a morning bus with Tan's cousin Tan Mien, so it was goodbye to another Westerner who'd tasted the delights of Pingguo.

In the late morning I was called to go to "Mangguo Country". Luckily "mangguo" is one of the few words that is pretty much the same in English: mango. And the country was still China. At around 11am A Hua and her alcoholic husband came to pick Leilei and me up in their 4x4. He is known as "Lo lan", which in the local language means "alcohol addict" (I think). Well luckily he wasn't drinking at that time as when we got in the car, which had their son and two other young girls of around 8, we proceded to drive for an hour and a half to Tiandong.

It was a severely hot day. Temperatures were topping 40c by the time we got there but it was worth it. There were acres of mango trees, many of which had paper bags tied around the actual mangoes for a reason I didn't get an answer to (at least that I understood). There were around 25 people there in total including kids, and we were offered "baby" mangoes when we got there. I didn't expect the amazing sensation that hit my mouth - I can just imagine a famous tv chef trying one of these and being lost for words trying to describe it.


Sumptuous baby mango


Mangoes in bags, and a rather mad lady trying to shade herself with the help of two cucumbers

Needless to say there were plenty of crates of beer. In fact someone had brought a crate of cans of US-style beer, but managed to drop them all, causing minor tears in the cans and a beer shower for everyone else. But when the food actually started it was amazing as always. Leilei went off to eat with the other kids so I was able to enjoy a meal with a number of blokes I hadn't met before. Interestingly there were a couple of women at the table - I soon found out why. They were "cai ma" masters (or mistresses), and took delight in beating the blokes - and could hold their own in beer when they lost. I didn't fare too well and mostly lost against them but was glad of the liquid refreshment under the scant shade of the mango tree.


A US-styple beer can spraying its wares after having been dropped 4 feet


Ladies

Leilei started to get fractious under the heat so I took him and the girls into "Lo lan's" 4x4 where we started the engine and turned on the A/C. It took 40 minutes to go from 40 down to 30c, but was worth it as it was around 3pm and people's skin was starting to melt off their bodies outside.

We drove home, shattered, around 5pm. I didn't really want Lo lan to drive after a few bevvies but didn't have much of a choice. Anyway he drove no more than 40 mph for the journey.

Ailun's last night

Tonight was Ailun's last night in Pingguo, and we were to "Eat Dog!!". He'd survived with wallet intact from his sojourn to Nanning with some girl but she hadn't accompanied him back so I didn't ask questions (until later).

Eating dog is quite a big deal, as the dog in question had been Chen Mei's family pet for a couple of years (more like guard dog really, but still). Well we had a sumptuous meal at Chen Mei's 5 storey house, where her in-laws also lived. In typical style the men ate in one room while the women (and most of the kids) ate in another. Despite how sexist some people may see this it makes perfect sense. We can talk about machines and business, and they can talk about hairstyles and manicures, without any of us wasting time on meaningless drivel. Makes sense to me. But it does also pander to sexist stereotypes.

Me standing over a river where cars normally drive after a wash. About to eat dog

Ailun showing why the extra bit was built so that cars can drive through after their wash

Well-cooked dog meat

Some presents for cars to be brought back to UK

Well, we had a few beers over drinking games and after the meal we were invited to go to "Sing Song" at one of our favourite Karaoke bars. But as it was Ailun's last day we first went to buy some tea for him to bring back to the old US of A.

We made sure we met one of our best mates in Pingguo before Ailun left. Me, Ma Lao ban and Ailun. Ma Lao ban (Horse boss) was one of our favourite people to visit and drink tea with in Pingguo

At the Karaoke bar we had a good time playing dice games with Chen Mei, who is pretty damn good, although I'm sure I beat her a few times and she seems to be able to take her beer. Tan's cousin turned up around 10pm and Ailun duly fell in love with her as he has with any girl with more than one nipple.

Leilei had chickenpox but still made it to the Karaoke and became a fan of popcorn

Tan, Me and Tan's younger cousin after a night's karaoke

Well Ailun got very drunk and I ended up taking him home from our place at around 3am. I found a three-wheeler after I'd copied all his photos to my laptop at my place, and got him home. After an eternity of hugging (such a yank thing) I finally got him to get to his front door and went home. Only to be called 10 mins later to be told "Hey Dom I lost my goddamn keys!". I can't remember exactly what happened but I managed to convince him he hadn't lost his keys and funnily enough he found them in his pocket a bit later. 4am finally got to sleep!

More World of Warcraft

Ailun had arranged to meet up with some girl in Nanning via a website called something like "sleeponmycouch.com". Sounded more like "givemeyourwallet.com" but who was I to argue. He took the train to Nanning and then realised he had no credit left in his phone. So I had to sort that out for him. But not before he found another shop in Pingguo that had World of Wankcraft in it...

Ailun finding the important things in life in an electic shop

And in his absence I caught up some time with my wife and kids....

Boys need yoga too (and a new shirt)

While out on the electric bike with Ailun I thought I noticed a young lady with an interesting teeshirt (no! not wet! dirty minds!). I knew Ailun was into yoga so I turned the bike around and stopped in front of her and her mates and introduced Ailun to her. She was slightly nonplussed, then I explained that Ailun really liked her top and could he have his photo taken with her? Well she duly obliged, and I am glad to say that Ailun did not ask her for the top as a souvenir...

Boys need yoga too! And anti-perspirant

I had to go back for a siesta as it was bloody hot and I'd been up since 8am due to the noise opposite our house. But Ailun was starting to get used to our town and went out on his own...to buy a shirt!

Well I must say he did a good job of making a shirt purchase last three hours and nearly got his money worth considering it cost 30 quid! He got some Chinese lessons in an air-conditioned shop, and even woke me up to tell me that they wouldn't give him a discount. I did argue with the shop assistant for a while but it was true - 30 quid was the price and that was it, astonishing! Even the locals backed me up later that these shops don't do discounts so it wasn't me just being lame. Well, such a nice shirt must not go unphotographed...

Ailun buying a cool shirt in a cool shop (air-conditioned) from some cool ladies

Ailun realising his American credit card is no good in China having already sweated into the new shirt. (It's ok he had cash)

By the way I found Leilei watching "Postman Pat" in Chinese - some things travel very well.

Postman Pat at Waipo's house

Later that day I took Ailun to the guang chang (huge town square) where he'd arranged a date with the daughter of the snake man and doctor-wife. We got there early with Leilei so he could play on the apparatus (Leilei, not Ailun). At 6pm the snake man's daughter arrived...with her mum! So for this date I took Leilei, and Ailun took snake-daughter on a rather nice boat ride by the guang chang for half an hour under the gaze of her mum. Afterwards there wasn't a great deal one could do with a watchful mother, so as it was Saturday we went to see the great spectacle that is the colourful fountains of Pingguo.

Leilei at the guang chang playground

Ailun waiting for his hot date!

Pingguo guang chang fountains - the highest one in the middle goes 90 metres

After saying zai jian to Ailun's date, we scaled the 200 or so steps up to the fairly new statue of Deng Xiaoping on one side of the guang chang, where we had a chat with some of the locals and Ailun "sweated bullets".

Ailun shaking hands with Deng Xiaoping