Embarrassing double date

I'd already said to work that I probably wouldn't be attending too many 11pm calls on a Friday and I was true to my word today, finishing work at around 8pm. I went to be humiliated at table tennis at the old folks' youth centre again and was pretty much caned. One bloke I'd been practising with for half an hour, and doing reasonably well I might add, then said we should have a game. This was when he turned from "reasonable standard player" to "oh shit he's much better than you". You could tell that by his serves as they were venemous and terribly hard to tame. But I managed the moral victory of losing 11-4. As I walked off, drenched in sweat, to allow the next victim he said "no, three!". Ah, best of three...that shouldn't take too long. I really didn't want to lose 11-0, that was all, and despite being 7-0 down I claimed back a couple of points with some nifty smashes to only lose 11-2. I went to shake my victor's hand but he just ran to the other side of the table saying "three! three!". Oh shit, it wasn't the best of three but the first to three. By now I was totally expecting to lose 11-0 as was my trend, and the fact I could barely see through my sweat. But I was elated to lose 11-3 though couldn't help thinking he may have given me a couple of those points.

Like an angel from heaven, Zhang Hongping called me and asked me to go out for a drink. So I made my excuses and left the youth centre for a well-deserved loser's shower. It was then that I felt a little guilty that teacher Lu had tried to call me several times today already and I had not returned his call. Not that I needed to; he called again and I answered, whereby he said he'd invited me to drink something at a nearby cafe. I then instantly got a call from Tan saying I needed to pick up the kids from Waipo's as Xixi had "la du" (diarrhoea). Zhang Hongping was then on the blower again so I explained I needed to pick up the kids first, which was no problem. That done, Zhang Hongping started driving us to the place he had invited us to - Old Tree Cafe. Then in the car I got another call from teacher Lu, telling me it was no problem to take the kids to meet him too. I felt a bit bad as although he's a bit tiresome with his crooked English and strange mannerisms, he's a good bloke. I needed time to sort out this quandary so I told him to please wait 40 minutes while I sort out my kids.

Five minutes later we arrived at Old Tree Cafe in Zhang Hongping's car and he lead us to our cubicle. I wasn't prepared for what happened next. As Leilei, Xixi, and I walked in, we saw teacher Lu in the neighbouring cubicle looking at once expecting, and then let down as we didn't go into his one. I had inadvertently made a double date, and the dates (both blokes) had booked the same place, and virtually the same space. This called for some level one diplomacy. I ran to teacher Lu's cubicle to shake his hand and explain that my friend Zhang Hongping had happened to call me as I was picking up my poorly daughter, and then when I'd discovered that she mightn't be that ill, I'd decided to see how things went and spend a few minutes with Zhang before calling him.

I think it sort of worked. I really hadn't expected teacher Lu to have booked anything, so explained the situation in a whispered, slightly more truthful manner to Zhang Hongping, who immediately understood, and had no qualms about sitting on his own in his cubicle until some other friends arrived. Luckily the kids were in good form, running between the cubicles in a way I actually wanted to. Teacher Lu asked me what I fancied to drink and this time I honestly felt like a beer. He was going to get a coffee but when he saw the prices I heard him speak Chinese for the first time as he asked the waitress if there were any cheaper options as the cheapest was 25 kuai! I got him to agree to have a couple of beers with me - one, because it was far cheaper, and two, I hoped he would forget about me sort of trying to avoid him. Well it seemed to work. A colleague of his turned up, rather demure and pretty teacher whose English was better than his, though she wasn't an English teacher. She provided good company as teacher Lu, who obviously wasn't used to drinking beer, insisted in speaking English to the extent that it became embarrassing. I asked him who his friend was (was she a colleague?) and he said "no, she's not my girlfriend!" even though I'd intimated nothing. Then he said "it's ok I am joking...I like to make jokes". I didn't get the joke, and he tried to explain further but just lost it.

Near 11.30pm I managed to finally change cubicles to be with Zhang Hongping and his mates. By this time A Wu was around and thankfully took the kids out. I managed a few gan bei's with the people there; it was an instantly more comfortable place to be. I do feel for teacher Lu; he's a good bloke but painful to be with. We moved on from the cafe to the seafood place for a late bite to eat, and stayed till nearly 2am, at which time the manager asked me if I fancied going to Tian Dong tomorrow to get some mangoes. I said "ok" as you do, and then realised he meant at 9am. Doh.

Zhang Hongping and I enjoying a late bite to eat