Man goes to mangoes

Sure enough, bang on 9am, after 6 hours' sleep my friend the seafood place manager called me to go to Tian Dong. I blearily told him I needed to get the kids their breakfast and take them to school first, which I did, and was only ready just before 11. But he turned up in a blue Chevrolet, adorned with blue and red upholstery. Although he'd been calling me all morning, as soon as I sat down in the multi-coloured passenger's seat he said we were not going to Tian Dong as it was raining (a fact not lost on me on the walk back from A Hua's place, who had kindly taken the kids in again while the bike was out of use). So of course, instead we would go to get our hair cut at Lu Hai's place.

The colourful Chevy interior

At Lu Hai's salon there were a couple of people waiting already and it was going to take a little time. So seafood manager popped out, while I texted Tan to say I wasn't going now, and that we could all go another time. We'd had a bit of a tiff as I hadn't told her I was going and she said she wanted to go, with the kids too. I find that hard to believe as she never wants to go out to the places I go to. Anyway, seafood manager got back and announced that we were going to Tian Dong straight away. "Hang on", I said - you just said it was raining so we couldn't go as the fields would be muddy etc. Ah, but it wasn't raining in Tian Dong, according to his contact there. I was suspicious, and had to call Tan to tell her Tian Dong was on again.

So the two of us drove on the new road to Tian Dong, accompanied by solid rain the whole way. Thankfully he is a careful driver and we got there in one piece, where the rain started to taper off. However, it was still raining enough for my suspicions earlier to be correct, and the numerous umbrellas that you normally see during the day to fend off the sun were there in the same numbers, but this time serving a different purpose. But it was certainly different to Pingguo, 50km away, and I explained that there must be many micro-climates here, to which seafood manager sort of nodded in way to say "I think I know what you mean, but that isn't really Chinese". Xiao qi hou is microclimate - I checked it with Google too - maybe they just don't use such terms here.

Once in the town, which gives the impression of being a bit larger than Pingguo, we found a san lun che and told the woman to lead us to a certain restaurant where we were to have lunch. 5 kuai and 5 minutes later we had driven to a rather plush restaurant in the centre of town. As we turned up, so did a couple of minibuses of well-dressed people, all sporting a red rose and an identification thing hanging around their necks. We joined these people entering the restaurant, up the carpeted stairs and into a large room with many round tables laid out with, among other things, wine glasses with half an inch of red wine in them. I was dressed in shorts and flip flops, and everyone else had long trousers and shoes, except for the women. One of the blokes with a rose and identification was evidentally a friend I had met a couple of years ago when I last came to Tian Dong. That time we went out to the fields and had a long lunch in extreme heat with about 20 others. I was expecting the same and had got the opposite.

Still, I had a short sleeved shirt on, so when sat down I looked reasonably inconspicuous. We were joined by some young people from Nanning and no sooner had we all sat down there was a short speech by a couple of the blokes, accompanied by rounds of applause, and then we had to stand up again to gan bei the red wine. Finally we sat down to eat and I got the chance to ask what sort of gathering this was and for what purpose. It transpired that this weekend was the official mango picking weekend, and thousands descend into Tian Dong, the capital of mango, to buy boxes and boxes of them. This meal was arranged by a consortium of mango field owners/workers as far as I could tell. Throughout the meal the higher-up men moved through all the tables having a drink with all in attendence. They seemed to really appreciate my being there, despite my attire.

As with many meals, the men got drunker and drunker and started downing full glasses of the red wine. I had been told that it was French but no self-respecting French person would have touched the stuff. It was foul, or corked, or fake. Seafood manager didn't touch it as he was driving and I had to force myself to do a few gan bei's. It was the first Chinese meal I've been to with no beer. And equally strange was that over the whole time I only saw one person smoke. When finally meeting one of the main blokes, whose face was already on a par with what was in his glass, he gave a huge smile when I told him my name; his surname was also Peng! We exchanged numbers and he said to be sure to call him when next in Nanning. I intend to do so, thank you Peng Feng big brother!

About to have a meal with the mango consortium at a posh restaurant

As we left the building an hour or so later I wondered why the trip was ever off, as rain wouldn't have affected that meal. Then I stopped wondering - it's a waste of time being too logical about things here...save that for work. We spent a bit of time waiting for some people in a hotel, where I noticed a load of cardboard boxes piled up by the security area. I asked seafood manager if they were all full of mangoes and he looked, then said "no". Later, while he was sorting some stuff out with the car I asked the security manager what was in all the boxes behind her. "Mangoes", was the reply. I left it there.

Tan had asked me to get a box of the greenest, hardest, least ripe mangoes possible so she could send them to her ex-boss in Shanghai. This I did, and of course the mango man wouldn't accept any payment. Then mango man's wife got into the blue Chevrolet with their son and said goodbye and drove away. It transpired that the colourfully-liveried Chevy was indeed her car. Seafood manager then got into the driver's seat of mango man's large black Toyota Camry, while I got in the passenger's seat, and mango man, who'd had a few glasses of red wine slumped in the back with some girl who had joined us at the meal. It took us nearly half an hour to drop the girl off at her house as she lived just beyond the mango market, and there was a huge traffic jam to get there as people were just parking on the side of the road and hopping out to buy their boxes. Then, finally we were on the road back to Pingguo, where mango man promptly fell asleep and I wanted to but felt a bit bad leaving seafood manager on his own, so struck up further conversation about the weather till we got back an hour later.

While on a walk I noticed rather heavily-laden lorry - you can get more on if you open the back doors and balance on them

We were back well in time for the meal that Xiao Pan had invited us to at 5pm so I went to pick up the kids from school. As it was fairly cool under the overcast skies I decided to walk what would be a 20 minute trek to pick up the kids from school. Something unthinkable to most natives. I got half way before Tan called to ask where I was as A Xia's husband had gone to pick them up in their new car (another Camry, this time white), as it was still wet. I told her to tell him to wait there so I could get a lift as I wasn't sure where the restaurant was. As soon as I got on a san lun che (I hadn't told Tan I was walking), I got a call from A Wu saying he was picking up the kids and he'd give me a lift.... As I got there I saw no A Wu's car, but A Xia's white Camry pulling away. I shoved my hands out to stop them and they picked me up. So much for waiting, A Wu had already taken the kids and I was in the car with the birthday girl.... We drove to a place I'd been to a couple of times before. There were a few kids and Leilei and Xixi actually ate some mantou and zhou, so I was happy to let them play with the other kids for the rest of the meal. They've become a bit easier to leave with others over the last few days, so I think it was worth the early difficulties in forcing them to do so.

Another sumptious meal, this time Xiao Pan invited us

The kids having fun: Nong Kaicheng, Leilei, A Da, Xiao Pan's son, Xixi and Xi Li's daughter

With the kids playing with their friends, A Wu and I set off after the meal to have a head and face wash (with the facemask). It was rather lovely but I didn't really need the face...I'd have rather spent the extra time being massaged, and indeed the facemask doubled the price to 65 kuai each. Still, for an hour I'm not complaining. I nearly fell asleep on the massage couch, indeed I was dropping off but I hadn't put my phone on silent so got calls from Tan. Anyway, I was happy to get an early night after another full day.

Embarrassing double date

I'd already said to work that I probably wouldn't be attending too many 11pm calls on a Friday and I was true to my word today, finishing work at around 8pm. I went to be humiliated at table tennis at the old folks' youth centre again and was pretty much caned. One bloke I'd been practising with for half an hour, and doing reasonably well I might add, then said we should have a game. This was when he turned from "reasonable standard player" to "oh shit he's much better than you". You could tell that by his serves as they were venemous and terribly hard to tame. But I managed the moral victory of losing 11-4. As I walked off, drenched in sweat, to allow the next victim he said "no, three!". Ah, best of three...that shouldn't take too long. I really didn't want to lose 11-0, that was all, and despite being 7-0 down I claimed back a couple of points with some nifty smashes to only lose 11-2. I went to shake my victor's hand but he just ran to the other side of the table saying "three! three!". Oh shit, it wasn't the best of three but the first to three. By now I was totally expecting to lose 11-0 as was my trend, and the fact I could barely see through my sweat. But I was elated to lose 11-3 though couldn't help thinking he may have given me a couple of those points.

Like an angel from heaven, Zhang Hongping called me and asked me to go out for a drink. So I made my excuses and left the youth centre for a well-deserved loser's shower. It was then that I felt a little guilty that teacher Lu had tried to call me several times today already and I had not returned his call. Not that I needed to; he called again and I answered, whereby he said he'd invited me to drink something at a nearby cafe. I then instantly got a call from Tan saying I needed to pick up the kids from Waipo's as Xixi had "la du" (diarrhoea). Zhang Hongping was then on the blower again so I explained I needed to pick up the kids first, which was no problem. That done, Zhang Hongping started driving us to the place he had invited us to - Old Tree Cafe. Then in the car I got another call from teacher Lu, telling me it was no problem to take the kids to meet him too. I felt a bit bad as although he's a bit tiresome with his crooked English and strange mannerisms, he's a good bloke. I needed time to sort out this quandary so I told him to please wait 40 minutes while I sort out my kids.

Five minutes later we arrived at Old Tree Cafe in Zhang Hongping's car and he lead us to our cubicle. I wasn't prepared for what happened next. As Leilei, Xixi, and I walked in, we saw teacher Lu in the neighbouring cubicle looking at once expecting, and then let down as we didn't go into his one. I had inadvertently made a double date, and the dates (both blokes) had booked the same place, and virtually the same space. This called for some level one diplomacy. I ran to teacher Lu's cubicle to shake his hand and explain that my friend Zhang Hongping had happened to call me as I was picking up my poorly daughter, and then when I'd discovered that she mightn't be that ill, I'd decided to see how things went and spend a few minutes with Zhang before calling him.

I think it sort of worked. I really hadn't expected teacher Lu to have booked anything, so explained the situation in a whispered, slightly more truthful manner to Zhang Hongping, who immediately understood, and had no qualms about sitting on his own in his cubicle until some other friends arrived. Luckily the kids were in good form, running between the cubicles in a way I actually wanted to. Teacher Lu asked me what I fancied to drink and this time I honestly felt like a beer. He was going to get a coffee but when he saw the prices I heard him speak Chinese for the first time as he asked the waitress if there were any cheaper options as the cheapest was 25 kuai! I got him to agree to have a couple of beers with me - one, because it was far cheaper, and two, I hoped he would forget about me sort of trying to avoid him. Well it seemed to work. A colleague of his turned up, rather demure and pretty teacher whose English was better than his, though she wasn't an English teacher. She provided good company as teacher Lu, who obviously wasn't used to drinking beer, insisted in speaking English to the extent that it became embarrassing. I asked him who his friend was (was she a colleague?) and he said "no, she's not my girlfriend!" even though I'd intimated nothing. Then he said "it's ok I am joking...I like to make jokes". I didn't get the joke, and he tried to explain further but just lost it.

Near 11.30pm I managed to finally change cubicles to be with Zhang Hongping and his mates. By this time A Wu was around and thankfully took the kids out. I managed a few gan bei's with the people there; it was an instantly more comfortable place to be. I do feel for teacher Lu; he's a good bloke but painful to be with. We moved on from the cafe to the seafood place for a late bite to eat, and stayed till nearly 2am, at which time the manager asked me if I fancied going to Tian Dong tomorrow to get some mangoes. I said "ok" as you do, and then realised he meant at 9am. Doh.

Zhang Hongping and I enjoying a late bite to eat

Air con fan not cool

Well it was nice to have a wife back who had got some sleep, so I didn't mind starting work closer to midday as it was still 5am UK time. I'd taken the kids to school after getting their breakfast - Xixi is fond of a couple of boiled eggs although I have to eat the yolks. Leilei is a bit harder but will eat some sweet pancake and as it's breakfast I don't mind too much.

But in the heat of the day I realised I'd need to get something other than the 30 kuai fan I'd bought last year for my study. So I went to Tan's "big sister's" shop and bought what's called a "kong tiao shan", i.e. an "air conditioner fan" which is really a fan with a bucket underneath where you put water, which is drawn up into some material behind the fan so that tiny droplets of water are blown out thus being more effective than a normal fan. Well I was just about to buy the cheapest one when "jie jie" (big sister) told me I should put ice cubes in the water bucket to make it colder. That stood to reason but when I saw a slightly more expensive one I noticed it had two large freezer packs that came with it. I mean those sort of things you put in cool bags to keep the drinks and sandwiches cool for a picnic. So after they'd found the box for the cheap one I sheepishly asked if I could have the one with the freezer things. I didn't mention that I also preferred the colour as it was sort of like the Man City kit. No problem and it only took another 5 mins to find the box for the display model as they didn't have any new ones in stock. Whether it was for that, or that I was "related" they knocked the price down from 630 kuai to 500. I thought 50 quid was a bit steep for a fancy fan but was in no mood to argue as I didn't want to shell out over 100 quid on air-con that would have killed the electricity bill.

It took a bit of time to work out how to use the fan as there are a few settings. But I'm a bit disappointed that it wasn't as cool as I'd imagined. Still, it's better than the old one, just slightly noisier, which means I sometimes have to turn it off during conference calls (and close the window - making it rather stuffy).

Intercom issues

Although my darling baby came into my room at 2am to sleep with me I still woke up at 5am. Half an hour later I knew that was it so I got up and did a little housework. Tan had said that her work was nearly finished and instead of coming back on Friday she hoped to come back today. Not that that had anything to do with me doing the housework of course.

Xixi still not stirring at 8.30am, 3 and a half hours after I'd got up

I have found that the electric bike is dead. I charged it the day before yesterday and yesterday it was still charging, which was odd. So I left it another day and it barely moves. I'm hoping it's just the batteries as I understand they are the same ones I changed in 2008 at a cost of 400 kuai. So I rang A Hua and asked if it was possible for her to take Xixi to school with Nong Kaicheng and Leilei. She said no problem so we walked to her house where I found Leilei chomping on some "zhen zhu nai cha" which is cold sweet milky tea with sugary balls in it and a wide straw so you can suck them up. The four of them got on A Hua's electric bike and I said goodbye, got myself a bite to eat and went back home to work for the first time in two weeks. One of the best things about working from here is that during the day you are relatively free from emails and calls, so can concentrate on the tasks at hand; it only took me two hours to sort out the hundreds of emails that had amassed over the last 14 days. And then of course the more negative aspects arise such as 11pm meetings, but overall I'm lucky to be able to work like this sometimes and at least enjoy a late night nibble at the bbq and the weekends.

Going to school on A Hua's bike. Leilei was actually happy but I just caught him rubbing his eye - annoying as I somehow managed to delete a much better pic

At the base of our building are five entry doors. Ours is number 3 in the middle. The first week we were here I had to order a replacement water bottle for the dispenser as it had run out. Now normally doing that in Chinese is fairly straightforward but when you have to explain that you're on the 14th floor (as the deliverer has to take the lift) but that the number is 3-15A01 it gets a bit complicated; I simply did not know what number to tell him to press on the intercom thingy so I could let him in. Sure enough half an hour later I had a call from the water deliverers to say the poor bloke had been ringing without success. Now that I've looked at the intercom number dialler thing I understand...there is no number 4, but in place we have a "510" - what is that supposed to mean? Luckily, that day I literally bumped into the deliverer as I was coming back to the house so I was able to let him in but I still don't know what to tell people to dial to ring our bell from downstairs.

Our intercom at the base of the building - what do you dial to ring our house???

Hopefully I will know soon as Tan rang to say she'd be coming back that evening, although the flight had been delayed and she mightn't make it before the last bus to Pingguo, in which case she'd stay at Chen Mei's. Luckily I found a handy website at https://www.flightstats.com/ where I was able to search for live Shanghai - Nanning flights in order to work out which she was on and how late it would be (54 minutes). Armed with this information it didn't really matter as the last time she went to Nanning both journeys (over an hour each way) were by taxi so she could blooming well do the same again after being away for five days.

And actually she did. I got a call when she was less than an hour away and it dawned on me that I hadn't washed the floor. I have been married long enough to know that invisible dust is actually visible to married women, so I set about a sweat-induced 45 minutes of dusting and washing before she arrived at 11pm announcing she was tired and needed to go to bed. After all that...she didn't even notice my efforts (I even washed the sofa). I now know why people evolved to believe in an afterlife; it's sometimes just not fair if you only have one.

Sleepovers

I must have been shattered last night as when I awoke I saw a missed call from Lin Hong, where Leilei and Xixi stayed last night. I called her to find out the problem only to be told it was fine; Xixi had told her that she wanted to go home at 12.45am when I was already asleep. So anyway I went round to pick up the kids around 9.30 but no-one would answer the door. Lin Hong had gone to work so I called her daughter Tian Tian and after a few minutes she came bleary-eyed to let me in. In her room I found Leilei and Xixi and another girl lying on Tian Tian's (double) bed, another girl sleeping on the floor, and yet another sleeping on the window sill. It looked like the remains of a pre-pubescent orgy, but my kids stirred as I called their names, still fully-clothed, and I took them home to be re-clothed, fed and taken to school for around 10.30. I spoke to the teacher about paying her for the kids but she just told me "bu yao jin" - don't worry. She was happy that Leilei was finally starting to do some reading with the other kids. Mostly they read extracts from Confuscious. I'm going to have to do so myself so I understand what they are being taught. When I left Leilei told me not to come to pick him up later...hmm

It's my last day before work again. Normally I would say that the two weeks have flown by but because of the amount of time doing stuff it actually feels like longer...that trip from the airport a far memory and a grain of sand in the beach that is Pingguo and its inhabitants.

I noticed a rather beautiful car outside our local supermarket. It looked like a Porsche but had four doors...another fake or lookalike? No, indeed it was a Porsche Panamera - I'd seen one similar at Nanning airport so now know what that was too. There is a lot of money here as these cars range from 60-120k quid in the UK so here you are looking at double that after all the import taxes etc.

While I was admiring the car I got a call from A Da. Well it was Leilei using A Da's phone to call me to tell me not to pick him up after school again! I smelled a rat but I think it was simply that he wanted to go to Nong Kaicheng's house again. Not that it made much difference to me as I still had to go and pick up Xixi. I didn't see Leilei for the rest of the day as he stayed and slept at Nong Kaicheng's house. I dropped Xixi off at Waipo's then went to see Yang Haiwei, who had invited me for a meal with some bosses. Deja vu. But yeah why not? I might not be able to do that so much when working and in meetings. We had a nice meal and the three gentlemen from the bank (maybe they were managers rather than bosses) got rather tipsy after a few glasses of Li Quan 3.1% beer, and that broke down barriers with a couple of teacher women who were there, as they started gan bei'ing with them at a faster rate. I went to get Xixi and brought her back for a bit, but by the time I was back they were all red-faced from the beer and had started playing "mo pai", a gambling card game, and it was getting smokey. So after a short while, during which the women did their usual cooing over Xixi, we made our excuses and left to go back to Waipo and Jiuma. At Waipo's, Xixi said she wanted to stay there. But when I left she wanted to go with me...so shoes on again and walk home for 5 minutes before she decided she wanted to go back with Waipo and Jiuma. And as soon as we were back she wouldn't let me go so she went back with me again...

A Wu's stonery and another head wash

In a change from the normal schedule I picked up the kids from Waipo at Er Jie's house and took them to school with A Wu at 10am. We then moved on to A Wu's office before driving the 15 minutes to his work to see how things were progressing there. Things were indeed progressing nicely, and he is making a tidy sum on a regular basis. While I was there I saw a few small blue lorries turn up and pay 160 kuai for a load of coarse stones, then some red lorries, ten times the size, pull up and get filled too. The finer the stone, the more expensive apparently. Anyway, most of it goes into the building of new apartments, which are sprouting up at a seemingly relentless rate here.


A Wu's stonery still going well


Loading up a small lorry with stones worth about 160 kuai

So much for the inspection, we went back an hour later at midday and had a meal of pork, beef and egg fried greens with one of his boss friends before heading off for the highlight of the day - a "foot wash".

Much like going to "drink tea", or "sing song" a foot wash is much more than you might expect. We went to the Ming Dian hotel and took the lift to the top floor, before taking the stairs another flight up to the massage area. After some chatting with the ladies at the reception we got our own private room with two beds and I changed my trousers to a pair of the massage place ones so I didn't need to roll mine up. What ensued was 100 minutes of mostly pleasure, interrupted during the first half an hour by some foot massaging that was rather rough and tickly at the same time. My feet were plunged into near-boiling brown water (I'm told it was medicine) while the lovely girl rubbed and massaged all areas before attempting to take off a layer of old skin.

I could have done with 100 minutes of massage without the feet as after that she proceeded to the rest of my body for the next hour or so. So good was it that I managed to get a bit of kip afterwards on the couch. This is pure decadent luxury that I hope to repeat a few more times during my stay here. 100 minutes for 58 kuai - I will return!

We left the place at 5pm and Lin Hong rang to say the kids were with her and would stay the night there. Well, ok, I said, as long as they're fine with that. Then we went back to A Wu's office where I was told we were to have a meal in a bit. "A bit" can mean anything from 30 seconds to 3 hours so I set out to find a wifi adapter for A Wu's laptop so I could set up a wireless router and rid him of his ethernet cable. Well that proved to be a bit harder than I imagined but I finally happened upon a computer shop where they cut a 5 metre ethernet cord for 7 kuai so I could configure the router, then I also bought a 3.5mm to 3.5mm connector so we could have tv sound from the laptop at our home. I found that a USB wifi adapter would be 250 kuai so I said "bu yao" to that as you can get them back home for a fiver and I had a spare one with me anyway. As I was chatting to the girl in the shop I got a call from A Wu to hurry back to the office as they were ready to eat. Ten minutes later I was there and they were already eating, all of the workers from the carwash place behind the office, about 20 in total - men at one table, women at the other.

A Wu's office's 1st anniversary party - Mr Liang in the foreground. Note the ingenious way of opening a beer bottle by the bloke at the back

Apparently it was A Wu's office's first anniversary, and my friend Mr Liang, the bloke from Baise with halitosis came too. I haven't seen him for the last year or so, but he is one of the people I know from my early visits to Pingguo in 2003/2004. The food and company were good, and there was a fair amount of cai ma before I started feeling full. Someone went out in A Wu's car to pick up some more beer, and then again a bit later. I eventually made my excuses and left, walking the 15 minutes back to the house in an attempt to burn off some beer calories.

Day with the kids, evening watching the Test

Without the wife and kids I woke up at 8am and it felt like a veritable lie-in. No breakfast to go out and get, no clothes to get kids to wear, no tooth-brushing or washing of faces. I actually believe I'm on holiday. At 10am I decided to go to Waipo's to see the kids, as without them is nice for a bit, but I miss them a lot after a while.... We went to Ma Laoban's computer shop to get a cable from the laptop to the tv, and both the kids enjoyed themselves playing silly flash games on the computers on display. Before I knew it it was lunchtime so I took them to a local place where I managed to get them to eat some zhou. They just don't seem to have appetites during daylight hours and getting them to eat anything other than sweets is like getting blood from a stone. That's the fault of too many spoiling aunts really...they seem to think that the first set of teeth need to be extracted as soon as possible, with copious amounts of chewy sweets.

The kids wouldn't sleep, which meant I couldn't either, so I ended up making good use of Awl's broken laptop to let them watch some of their favourite Mr Bean. In the afternoon we stopped off at Ma Laoban's again where I swapped an incorrectly bought AV cable for a USB extension so that the laptop would have good connectivity under the tv. There's still no sound but we'll sort that out soon. We went back to Waipo's where I selfishly dumped the kids again in the evening as I wanted to watch the grand prix. It appeared that CCTV5 was only showing a swimming competition which annoyed me a lot as I had to find a stream to watch the race and missed the first couple of laps. Well, it was worth it as the race was thrilling from start to finish and I wasn't even able to go to the fridge to grab a beer until nearly halfway, such was the excitement and lack of adverts.

Kids pacified by watching Mr Bean

After the race I rang Waipo and she said the kids were fine, and that she had a Set Top Box she could lend us so we could watch real tv. I came round to take it after 10pm and the kids both said they were more than happy to stay the night there again! So armed with a STB I set off on the electric bike to find an AV cable so I could watch tv. As it was gone 10pm I set this as a goal for myself. I was confident that at this time I could find such a cable....but try as I might, every likely looking shop that I went to didn't have one. I must have tried 20 such outlets until the last failure pointed me at next-door, which appeared to be a stationery shop that was pulling down its shutters. I asked about the cable and after a little rummaging around, by which time for some reason a small crowd of kids had gathered outside, they found the cable I needed - and only wanted 2 kuai. I left after a great many "hellos" and "goodbyes" with the locals, secretly satisfied that I had Mission Successful yet again...

Back home, with no kids to worry about again, I was happy to stay awake for a while to watch us play very well against India in the test match on a decent stream through the tv with a weak beer, almost like being there (well watching from home, anyway).

Feet up, watching the Test against India with a cold beer - nice!

Clear clear skies + time away from kids

I am accustomed to haze here in China. Not just in Pingguo, but the only other places I've really been to; Guangdong, Shanghai and Beijing. I thought it was just pollution until I lived in Pingguo, but I can't believe this place is polluted anything like the large cities. So it was a welcome surprise that after I woke up (before everyone else of course) it struck me that outside was particularly clear. It made the whole place feel overwhelmingly different. Despite the time I've spent here over the last eight years I've always been aware that I am abroad but today it just felt normal, like home. I'd never before considered that haziness would be such an important factor on how you feel about a place. It was lovely to clearly see all the details in the mountains, and I spent a few minutes on the balcony just contemplating nothing in particular in the relative quiet of 7am Pingguo.

View of the guang chang from our balcony on a clear day

View west from our balcony on a clear day

I found out that the teacher's house is open seven days a week so I got the kids their breakfast at the normal dou jiang place and took it to Waipo's to eat. A few days ago we had a scare as apparently Waipo had had a stroke again (she had one a couple of months ago). Her right arm and leg lacked feeling and Tan had to go over there to help her out. I don't know how, but apparently Waipo got better quite quickly (I had been fearing the worst after hearing the symptoms). Well today I saw the medicine that had been bought for her. Each dose was kept in a plush wax-like round cover in a little gift box, at a cost of 300 kuai. I guessed this was traditional Chinese medicine and wondered how much the packing cost out of the 300. Anyway, she swears that it did the trick. I claim placebo, probably intensified by the packaging. I'd love to talk to some people here about scientific trials of medicine but I fear it would fall on deaf ears, like politics. It is an interesting point though, because as China becomes more mainstream in the world, it will have to be subjected to greater scrutiny in such markets as medicine, and I for one will be very interested in how it works out. Lin Hong rang me and asked me to take Xixi to her place so I did after she'd eaten, and left Leilei there for a bit. I told Lin Hong that Leilei and Xixi were going to school today with Nong Kaicheng and A Da, so she said she'd pick up Leilei from Waipo's and take them both there later.

Waipo's expensive stroke medicine (if you call 300 kuai expensive)

Back at home I wanted to relax for a bit and sort out our newly-borrowed tv. That nearly happened when I got a call from A Hua, Nong Kaicheng's mama, to say the teacher had rung her to ask where the kids were. Well I told her that Lin Hong had taken them there...at least to the best of my knowledge. So I called Lin Hong to find she'd taken the kids out to play, with no intention of going to school. I nearly argued but it dawned on me that the kids were on holiday too and it may be a little unfair to expect them to go to school every day. However, Lin Hong could at least have told me!

Well I had some time to myself as Tan was safely in Shanghai, helping her ex-boss try to do some business with an Australian company (and finding out their accent is very difficult at the same time). So what better use of my time than to wipe Vista off Awl's broken screen laptop and install a fresh XP? I'd found out that the tv had a detachable back that I hadn't seen before, and behind that was a VGA input along with HD and other stuff. So a nice geeky late morning ensued, during which I went out and bought some jiao zi and had a couple of beers. This meant I was able to sleep from 3-5pm, and though I should have felt refreshed, when I woke up I felt ill. Waipo called me to eat over there and although I didn't feel like it I went anyway as I probably needed the food. I picked at some duck and rice and then made my excuses and left.

I have committed a serious crime here in Pingguo. I have been here nearly ten days and not gone for a head wash. Given that I was feeling off-colour and that the wife was away and the kids were being taken care of, I thought that would be just the ticket so I gave A Wu a tinkle and he said he'd meet me by the old KTV place. The only interruption to this plan was Waipo calling me to ask me to bring some dry clothes for Xixi as she'd managed to wee herself at home, probably by being too excited to go to the loo. Thankfully I was able to get A Wu to take me to Waipo's to leave the clothes, and Xixi wasn't too insistent on coming out with me. So much the better as after we picked up a Sichuan friend from A Hua's shop, we found one of the places we went to last year and I had probably the best head wash I can remember at least in the last three years. Again, a teenage girl with stronger finger muscles than appearances would suggest, washed and wet-massaged my head and neck and face and upper back, before moving on to other places of the upper body. I cannot stress enough how much the difference is in comfort between a warm, wet massage, and a dry one. I don't care if the dry one is more professional and better for the body, the soapy wet one is far far more pleasurable. We'd used the expensive shampoo, apparently but I was more than happy to pay the 100 kuai for the three of us for the hour's experience.

I realised I no longer felt ill, and was happy to go back to A Wu's office for a couple of beers with some blokes. I called Waipo to say I'd go to pick up the kids around 10.30pm and she said "mei wenti" (no problem) so I had no guilt in not doing so. Then she called back a minute later saying the kids would sleep there tonight. Result! At A Wu's office we actually had a glass of his home made wine. This sounds dangerous. Non home made wine is barely palatable at the best of times so I was quite concerned. It wasn't wine in the strict sense of the word though, it was more like wine mixed with vodka and sugar. I guessed it was around 25% alcohol so supped slowly, until everyone decided it would be convenient to move on to beer.

Sichuan friend!

A Wu's office wall adorned with photos from yesteryear

This continued till gone midnight, when A Wu declared himself hungry, so we all went for a bbq at Tian Yang Po's place, which is the favourite of everyone I know around here. It was very nice, and we didn't eat or drink too much, and I went home totally exhausted by 2am and had no problem falling into the arms of Morpheus.

Our favourite bbq place, with Ai Yi and her duck fingers! (Well, tongues)

Tea with Ma Laoban then a lunch of wild chicken

It's been getting hotter and hotter over the last week. Normally the drive to get some breakfast is the most refreshing part of the day before it gets scorchio, with a welcome breeze in our hair. After dropping off the kids I went to see Waipo at Er Jie's house. She has sorted out a tv for us to borrow for the next few weeks, and although it's only around 20" at least it's a flat screen one. Before taking it home I had to go to the university as I'd promised Awl I'd check out the vacancy they have for an English teacher. It's a rather grand building and worryingly I was running out of battery as I arrived. The security said the place was on holiday but I managed to find a person to speak to. Apparently they want someone long-term so it may not be a goer. Plus they said that the teacher really needs to speak Mandarin too, and be aware the pay would not be as good as, say, Nanning. So it's not looking very likely. But the conversation was for me very notable as it was calm and logical; facts and concerns were layed out and responded to. Risks were somewhat calculated and we came to an amicable conclusion that it would be best for Awl to come to Nanning and work in an English school there for a while, while determining if it was the sort of place he could stay in for some time. Personally, I have no doubt that a single man in control of his faculties would not have any problem whatsoever living here.

Pingguo University in all its splendour

Back from the university I took the telly to Ma Laoban's computer shop to check it out. I want to use Awl's old laptop to be able to watch stuff on on the tv. The screen is very broken so it is a good candidate for removing Vista and replacing with XP in order to speed it up and make better use of its 2GB RAM. We soon found out in Ma Laoban's shop that there was no computer input for the tv, meaning I'd have to find an innovative solution if I wanted to stream stuff from the laptop...

Anyway, while at Ma Laoban's place a couple of people came around and, as is customary at his place, we sat down to drink tea. His place is the perfect alternative pub. Around his tea table we have the ingredients of being male-only and drinking, the only difference being the beverage. I liked Ma Laoban's new tea table and asked how much it was. 6000 kuai apparently. I asked how much for the raw material and he said that was free but it cost 1000 kuai to get some people to take the wood from a river to the local artisan who would carve it. Then, 5000 kuai to carve it according to Ma's requirements (a watery flavour). Well we drank a different brew to the usual Tie Guan ying this time and after a few glasses I could feel myself shaking a little. I don't know what it is but it affects me. At least it meant I would be awake for the afternoon which was just as well as Li Yi, one of the gentlemen drinking tea with us, invited us to go for lunch with him. It was 11am and Tan had just reminded me that she was going to Nanning at midday to fly to Shanghai to do some work for her ex-boss till next Friday.

Me with Ma Laoban and a mate at Ma Laoban's new tea table

This turtle is carved out of Ma Laoban's splendid tea table

So I called Tan to say I was going out for lunch and she said there was a bloke in the flat doing the plastering. Luckily he finished before midday so I popped over to drop off the tv and give her a kiss goodbye before going back to be taken to the Da Xue Cheng place I'd picked up some cement from a few days ago. This was a rather pretty place with a swimming pool and ping pong table. We had a statutory waiting time before the meal, during which I managed to beat the three blokes that I was to be eating with rather convincingly. Then we went for a quick tour and I saw the speciality of this place: "ye ji" (wild chickens). For all these years I had thought that when I ate ye ji someone had gone into the mountains and caught such a fowl with a net or something. I didn't realise that it was simply a breed of chicken - one that was clucking around rather un-wildly here in front of me. With their rather fetching plumage they actually make normal chickens look rather wild.

A rather un-wild wild chicken
Well, they certainly taste nice, and in the best tradition no part was wasted (the soup was particularly good). I was somewhat pleasantly surprised that two of the blokes wouldn't touch even a shot glass of 3.1% beer as they were driving. It seems to be extreme here - either you don't touch a drop and drive, or you drive after a bellyfull. Well one of the blokes fancied a couple of beers so who was I to disappoint him? We managed a few rounds of cai ma until it was time to go.

I actually managed a bit of sleep before picking the kids up around 5pm. This time I took them to Waipo's place and left them there to play. I heard later that they went to Lin Hong's place to play and Leilei ended up sleeping there.

Lu Hai called me at 9pm to invite me to have some seafood at the place I frequented last year after work. They have moved a few hundred yards away to a place where they now have a building with air-conditioned rooms. Despite this improvement there is no other place close by outside, which means eating there lacks the atmosphere of yesteryear, with a great many other outside eating places and their accompanying nighttime noises. The boss-cook was delighted to see me and we sat down outside and drank a few beers for old times' sake. Then his wife and daughter came and it we had a laugh like last year until he had to go back to the kitchen and make the bacon so to speak. His wife said to Lu Hai that he couldn't drink any more due to a liver problem, which probably explained why he seemed more sober than was his wont last year, but not why he indulged in a few with us. Still, a few is better than a skinful I suppose.

The cook's wife, him and his daughter - nice friends