Sneaky return for a couple of days after Hanoi

I’d hoped to wangle a few days in Pingguo after a three-day kickoff meeting in Hanoi, but had been requested to stay in Vietnam till Friday, which in the scope of things was hardly torture. I’d booked an afternoon flight meaning I had to leave for the airport straight after lunch. Lunch being with one of my clients. I am by no means at all a foodie, but the food experiences I’ve had in Hanoi have at least allowed me to understand people who are. The stuff you wrap in leaves and dip in a dip were gorgeous, and so different from what I’d ever tasted before. Especially considering I was as far away from Pingguo as Paris is from London. But then the food between these places is probably pretty much as different.

When I arrived in Hanoi a week ago I could only notice the similarities with Guangxi, and given that they neighbour each other it’s not surprising the vegetation is similar. But the differences were the signs in Vietnamese and the amount of people (men) I saw urinating by the sides of the roads. I’m sure it happens in China and in the UK just as much and I probably just had a perchance gawp from my cab but it was my first impression on arrival.

Anyway I had a lovely time in my one night in the Mercure hotel, which I’d chosen as I only needed one night to become a Gold Member...that sounds a little rude. The lovely people on reception congratulated me on this and told me that as a Gold Member I would be able to check out later. I asked if this would apply to my stay and they somewhat sheepishly said they couldn’t put it on the system as I wasn’t yet a Gold Member, but they were human and said of course I could. Take that, “computer says no!”. I immediately felt guilty that I was only staying one night and the rest of the week would be at an Airbnb, and explained and apologised as probably only British people would do. It was 11am and three hours before check-in time but I hoped due to my soon-to-be Gold status they would sort me a room and they did so pronto. Now I’d not slept that much and was tired so what to do? It was almost like writing an equation on the back of an envelope (with the first syllable pronounced “en” rather than “um”). But it was pretty much midday and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay up till that night, so I justified breaking into the duty free V and having a couple of snifters...and time justified it as by 2pm I was in the arms of Morpheus for a bit. The problem was when I got up at 5pm I was awake till stupid o’clock and ended up forcing a drink at 5am till 6am which didn’t work so I went down for breakfast at 7am, after which I did manage to sleep till 12.30pm. Now the bonus of the late checkout came into effect.

But that was my first day in Vietnam...not much to do with China other than the proximity. Back to the Friday my client, a lovely bloke named Chien, booked me an Uber-like taxi to the airport and told me it would be around 300 Dong. So I said my goodbyes and gave him a hearty handshake and a semi-hug as the tiny car rolled up. It was thankfully not a scary ride and I noticed that wherever you are in Hanoi there seem to be so many white people close by.

Really loved the street food in Hanoi...my last meal...hopefully not my very last...

Of course I was still technically working, and had to attend a meeting in the afternoon. Unfortunately I had quite a few queues to manage until I got past security. But the lounge in Hanoi was lovely. I self-served myself a rather large G&T before dialling in to my meeting and possibly got myself one or two more in the next half an hour. But finally I was free of work. I knew it wouldn’t be easy to get to Pingguo; the last train left before 9pm so I’d have to find a car. So I pinged my neighbour who works in the beauty shop and she gave me the address of a place to go in Nanning where there should be cars going to Pingguo.

Fun watching the planes landing while in a meeting

The 40 minute flight was actually pretty fine...I like to think I’m getting used to flying after virtually 300 flights, but as soon as turbulence sets in I get white knuckles….well not if after a couple of gins. But I arrived at 7.30pm and would have been out of the airport 10 minutes later had it not been for an interview by customs. Ok it wasn’t much of an interview but it was one of those experiences that made me a little proud. The customs bloke asked me if I spoke Mandarin. I was in two minds how to reply; saying “no” would have been easy but maybe wouldn’t have explained why I was only going to be there for three days, so I said “yes, but not perfectly”, which was true, but also could describe a whole range of ability. He asked me where I’d been and what I was planning to do and I explained I’d been working in Vietnam and was planning to spend three days in China as we had a place there and I wanted to see some friends before going back to the UK. It was boringly honest and it was boringly accepted, but I self fist-pumped as it could have been a tripping point...I’ve sort of taken it for granted that I can just visit China but it should never be taken for granted.

By 8pm I was on the airport bus to central Nanning but my bloody phone wasn’t online. I tried in vain to connect to the one-bar (as in bars out of four on the phone, not number of places selling alcohol) airport wifi but from experience resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn’t get online with that. Then I hit on the idea of putting in my English SIM and sending a quick SMS to Li Kun to put in some credit to my Chinese SIM in case that was the problem, which I bloody hoped it was.

I sent the message and swapped back SIMs, then was a bit annoyed at myself for not having hacked my phone with new firmware to allow dual SIMs. Apparently the Mate 10 Pro allows for dual SIM outside of Europe but they stop it by firm/software inside - even the SIM holder clearly has space for two micro SIMs but one is filled in. For a few pence and a lot of time I could easily do this. It’s the latter I don’t have. No sooner had my Chinese SIM connected than I got a call from Li Kun to tell me he’d had to put in 200 kuai to re-enable my line. What a con!

But I was online and my neighbour told me where to tell the taxi driver to go once I’d got off the bus. I flagged one down and 15 minutes later I was in the old north station area and indeed there was a car about to leave for Pingguo. It was one of the few times that a plan seemed to work. Of course it wasn’t that easy. I was told it would be 80 kuai, which I’d expected, and was a lot better than the 300 I’d paid in October for just me. But it meant we were picking up other people, and the next 40 minutes we spent doing that, going to places in Nanning then stopping and waiting and making phone calls until they turned up. Finally, on the outskirts of the city at a tube stop we found the last traveller and we were en route to Pingguo. At least I was in no hurry, and had the chance to speak a bit more Mandarin with the locals.

Although we were going to Pingguo, about 20km before we got off at Long’an, I got concerned and asked what was going on but the driver said something that I didn’t understand and I was too embarrassed to admit I didn’t understand. What happened was that we went through the toll gates, he paid 24.75 kuai, then did a u-turn and carried on to Pingguo, where when we got off it was another 4.75 kuai. Ah, clever - the journey from Nanning to Pingguo direct is 40 kuai so he’d saved over 10 kuai!

We eventually got to Pingguo soon after 11pm. I noticed that where the first bloke got off was rather close to Li Kun’s so I said I would like to do the same and paid the driver his 80 kuai, so he got about 35 quid for 90 minutes driving though he was about 20 mins from home.

Li Kun greeted me without any ceremony as is people’s wont here, and then called a mate to drive to my place to drop off my bags. I first insisted that I pay him back and he accepted the 200 kuai but asked what other currency I had. I nearly offered bitcoin but didn’t think that would go down too well so I showed him a 20 Euro note and he said he’d prefer that even though I told him it wasn’t worth as much. Maybe it was in his friends’ circles. Back home I took a sneaky swig of duty free V then went back down and we drove on to a new place that has not actually opened yet - it looks like a small bar with a stage for musicians and I was worried that I’d be asked to perform.

But I needn’t be worried...there were many of Li Kun’s friends there, some of whom I knew, some of whom apparently I’d met before, and some of whom I didn’t know at all I hope. But a few gan beis meant that we were all friends after a while. It was nice to feel that I wasn’t a stranger, just a non-Pingguo’er but I’ll accept that for the moment. I will look forward to coming back to this place when it’s opened fully...not sure when...but it will happen.

I was flagging by 1.30am and made my excuses. Li Kun was cool and gave me a lift back, I think happy that I’d made the effort to make it over despite the travel. Getting home it was a little weird getting used to the cold. Last month it was still in the high 20s so although no need for the air con it was comfortable. Now, for the first time since 2014 I was experiencing coldness in Pingguo. But fatigue and slight tipsiness meant I found some long pyjamas and put an extra cover on and I found it rather easy to sleep.

Nice empty flight for a change

The hotel gave me a lift to the airport at 11.30 for the 2.35pm flight. It is a nice new airport, and was quite empty. This gave me some hope for the flight. No queues for checking in my bag, nor for security, and the lounge was pretty empty too save for a foreigner. They only had 2.8% beer on offer so I availed myself of a few of those and they actually did the trick. Boarding was right outside the lounge and I was worried I’d missed the flight as there were so few people there.

Grabbing breakfast at 11ish it was interesting to see people boozing at that time...had it been me it would only have been acceptable if a flight was incoming

When I heard the “boarding complete” announcement I nearly leapt for joy as I had the three middle seats all to myself and I saw that we were at most 1/6th full. After take-off I even moved to in front of the first bulkhead on the side of the plane so would get less disturbance and after the meal and a couple of white wines managed the most sleep I ever have in a non-business class long haul. Apparently this route was a lot busier in the summer...I doubt they’ll have it this late next year though..

Literally wonderful, though maybe not from a carbon footprint perspective....but I slept so well

I’d had a bonus two weeks in Pingguo that I hadn’t taken for granted. I caught up with friends and finished off with a double-bonus empty flight with extra-bonus little turbulence. Arriving in Heathrow I celebrated with a quick bite in the T4 landside lounge and maybe a G&T before getting home to see the family. I wonder if I’ll get such a chance again.

A bonus way to end a bonus trip that I hadn't expected this year

Leaving Pingguo for the last time in 2019?

I woke up relaxed as pretty much everything was ready, so I decided to pay Ma Laoban a visit as I haven’t seen him for a while. As luck would have it he was in and bade me sit down for a chat. I explained that I was leaving in an hour or so and he decided now would be a good time to give me a present of four bottles of concentrated wild pear juice. But not only were there four bottles, they were boxed, and for some reason he needed to unbox them. I had arrived at his shop knowing I was in good time but it dawned on me that the longer I spent here the less time I’d have to get to the station.

Ma Laoban is such a good friend but I didn't need the pear juice episode

I graciously accepted my gift and before I worried about how to get them into my luggage (I couldn’t) he started to worry about whether I could get them into the train. I told him it would be fine but he insisted in trying to call a mate who worked in the railway business, but couldn’t get through at first. He tried again and while he did I checked online and clearly you could take fruit juice on the train, but he had to get it checked before he agreed. Then he was concerned about bringing it on the plane but I told him I’d check it in. Again, this wasn’t good enough and he made another call, during which I started to get really concerned about the time. I’d hoped to see him and give him a hug goodbye but I was getting bogged down by pear juice miscellany.

Eventually I took my leave of him (and got the hug), and got home just in time to remove two bottles from the polystyrene box and leave the rest on the dinner table, before ringing Li Kun to see if he wanted to share lunch of jiao zi as that was all I had time for, and I wanted to say goodbye to him too. He came straight away, but was not able to park outside the jiao zi place for some reason - apparently they now have parking attendants and it would not look good for him, a member of the police/government, to be breaking the rules. So he found a place to park and came back five minutes later not knowing that I was getting a little anxious about catching the train in under an hour. The jiao zi were a great way to say “goodbye” to Pingguo till the next time but  Li Kun insisted on bringing me back to his house to drink tea. I couldn’t really argue as I have a go at people arriving at the train station nearly an hour before their train, so complied and enjoyed a few mini glasses of red tea at his place until 20 mins before the train, when he drove me to the station and it would have been cutting it very fine had there been a queue at security (or had they wanted to search my bags). I barely had time to go to the loo before we were called to board. And so much for goodbyes here...it was more of a “seeya” and maybe it’s better that way.

This place has become so important in the last few years...I can have a full meal with the kids for 18 kuai - and today Li Kun also appreciated her dumplings

A little bit sad at seeing Li Kun shutting up shop for what was probably only an hour or so

I got to the Nanning coach stop to the airport not too long after 2.30pm, and the driver asked me what time my flight was. I instantly thought about it and decided it was better to lie and tell him it was 4pm instead of 5pm. I don’t know if I thought that would give him more urgency or something but he then said “no”,  I couldn’t get on the coach. What? I remonstrated with him that I certainly needed to get on this coach but again he said “no”. As we were outside of the coach I walked around the front of it and thought sod it, I’d put my suitcase inside and get on anyway, and paid my 20 kuai for the ticket. I was hoping he meant that if I took the coach I’d miss my four o’clock flight, and he didn’t want to be in any way responsible. Bloody hell if only I’d told the truth. As it transpired we arrived soon after 3.30 so probably would have made a 4pm flight due to VIP access to the lounge security, but he wasn’t to have known that.

The sanitary bags have become a bit more readable

So, bag checked in, I went to my friendly landside lounge and had a quick decant before thinking sod it I could manage an internal flight without Dutch courage, though I may have partaken in the train and coach. And indeed the flight to Wuhan was fine. I grabbed my luggage and looked for the shuttle to my hotel. It wasn’t really clear but some security guards pointed me to where it should be. When the bus arrived I got on and asked the driver if he was going to my hotel. He didn’t know, but I thought I’d take a chance, but before that he closed the doors while my luggage was outside. I was more than annoyed and told him that was my bloody luggage outside and without changing his expression he opened the door to enable me to fetch them. As I walked inside the bus I saw a western girl and sort of up-nodded my head in a way to “tut tut”, and immediately felt a bit racist.

Then, a little later into the journey when I was trying to see where we were relative to my hotel when we were at a stop, the western girl spoke to the driver in perfect Mandarin asking if he could leave the doors open a little longer as more people needed to alight. Damn I was jealous, and it took all my resolve not to try to talk to the driver so that I could let people know I could also speak the lingo. But for once in my life I didn’t take the opportunity to show off or steal her thunder; she had spoken for a good reason, and I wouldn’t have. And then a voice (a Chinese voice, thankfully) told me I should get off here for my hotel too. I thought we were some way away but took the advice and indeed it was 100 yards away, and in fact the western lady (she was a lady more than a girl now in my book) was going to the same place.

I was still jealous listening to her in front of me at the reception explaining that she had a flight early tomorrow morning. Not jealous that her Mandarin was better than mine (it almost certainly was), but that there was another Mandarin-speaking westerner in my midst.

Well it was a shitty hotel but I didn’t really care. I had a bite to eat (and thankfully the western woman wasn’t there) and got the chance to speak to the waitresses. And I managed to stay awake till midnight to that fateful match I knew we’d lose to Liverpool. Damn, it couldn’t have come at a worse time for us really, and in a way I’m not too pissed off the stream was crap. We’ve had two massive years, winning the PL twice...Liverpool probably deserve it and they’re being bloody efficient about it.

The cheap hotel room had clearly not been cleaned

Penultimate Pingguo full day and found a supermarket with gin and more

It was another 9am wake up that transformed into an 11.30am proper wake and get up, but I was alone and not stressed about it being the last full day (for the second time this year). And it was a Saturday, which made it better.

I somehow thought I’d be invited out to lunch but should not make such assumptions - at least it should be me doing more of the inviting. So lunch ended up being another delicious serving of dumplings for 6 kuai. As it was my last full day I took a little time to soak in the sun when I realised in London it was currently 2 degrees. I found that my newly found supermarket actually sold gin! For the first time in about five years I’ve found this spirit here, but it was a bit late. Anyhow I got a bottle for some reason, along with some more brown eggs and sugar-free lemonade, and at the till was told I could use my receipt to get a bonus. And indeed when I gave in my receipt I was asked if I would like a 12 pack of water bottles. I was honest and told them I’d prefer the 12 pack of toilet tissues but for some reason these weren’t available to me. So I graciously accepted the water and indeed I probably had more need for that at home.

Best selection in Pingguo!

The prizes you could get...in the end water was not a bad one despite the plastic bottles

And indeed back home I found myself not wanting for time, despite it being the last day. There have been plenty of last days in the last 16 years and they’re getting easier to deal with each time, especially this time as it’s only nine weeks since we were last here doing our last last day. Plus there is a possibility I could have another last day before next summer, though I won’t rely on that. But I sort of used that as an excuse to have a wee G&diet lemonade, and it went down pretty well as I perused the news after congratulating myself on having done most of my packing already.

I did find time to grab a few cuppas with Haiwei though

But I was in need of food, and not sure what to do, so I had another brown egg. Sometimes people would call me to go out, but no-one had. I pinged Luwen, who sent me a video of where he was eating and drinking with mates but told me to catch up with him later rather than invite me over. Then I pinged Huahua to ask what he was doing as I hadn’t seen him this sojourn except in passing, but he had already eaten.

Even for Pingguo, at gone 6pm it seemed a little late to find someone else to “invite” for a meal, and I accepted that I would have to eat alone. I went out on the bike to find somewhere but within a minute Uncle Yellow was calling me to come to eat at some restaurant. Saved by the bell! There didn’t seem any point going home first (even for another sneaky snifter) and by the wei zhi I guessed it was the same fish restaurant Li Kun had taken me three or four years ago which was the first time I’d managed to get rather pissed on 2.8% beer, and I realised it meant I was getting old.

As I approached the destination on the wei zhi I realised I was right - it was indeed the fish restaurant I’d got pissed at a few years ago. There were two private rooms being used; one for the men and one for the women and children. I like to think there is nothing sexist about this and that it’s just that one is smoky and one isn’t. And the best thing about the non-smoky room was that Uncle Yellow’s wife Xiao Chong was there with their new baby, so I finally got to see him.

A Ming plying people with red wine

Xiao Chong with her and Uncle Yellow's gorgeous addition whom I got to see for the first time tonight (I'd given the red envelope in the summer)

It was great to see his new son (and Xiao Chong again) but the blokes tried to ply me with red wine, and this time there was no beer alternative. So I did my best to sip but sometimes you have to fall in a bit with the crowd. But luckily I managed to craft an escape not too long after 8pm, as Luwen had pinged me to meet up as he’d suggested earlier.

I asked if it would be ok to invite Huahua to come as well and of course it was so we ended up soon after 9pm sitting outside some place I’d not been to before pretty much opposite the guangchang, and Huahua turned up a bit later. I was in my element with a few mates and just soaking up the atmosphere in my last night in Pingguo for a while. It wasn’t half as sad as some last nights have been in the past.

I should have paid the $3 to book train tickets online....

Up 8.45am! Yes, a decent time! But for some reason the next time I looked at my phone it was nearly midday. Bugger. Being Friday I still had work to do but almost as importantly I needed to arrange getting to Nanning tomorrow for the week-delayed flight to Wuhan. I checked trip.com to make sure there were still tickets for tomorrow but refused to pay their exorbitant $3 booking fee for a $4 ticket, so went across our road to find the place I’d bought train tickets from last year. Of course it wasn’t there. Things change big time in Pingguo, especially when you’re generally only here once a year.

I still appreciate the way that cans are often stored upside-down, but not as much as the fact there are more and more choices regarding sugar-free

So instead of paying the $3 I took the best part of an hour to drive down to the train station (and pay for the privilege of parking the dian dong che), queue up and buy my ticket in person, before finding the dian dong che and driving back home.

After work I pinged Uncle Yellow to see what he was up to and he told me to meet up in a bit. A “bit” was 17 minutes, which seems quite reasonable really. Then he sent me a weizhi and I realised we were to go to A Ming’s place to have a bite to drink. Unlike a usual meal it was very much drink first eat later, and I did the latter as I was rather hungry. A Ming’s father and son were there so it was quite a family affair despite the cigarette smoke. I managed to leave relatively soberly not long after midnight and called it a night. Too many times I’ve decided to “just pop in” to somewhere around this time and it has consumed the early hours. Tonight I was good. Well, better.

The rather pretty outside of A Ming's family place where we spent a couple of hours