Homeward bound 2023

Managed to get up by 8am and grab a shower before breakfast which I'm ashamed to say was egg and bacon. Not that I'd planned a western one but I fancied the bacon, and then the fried eggs which were pretty much attached to the fried bread. But it went down well despite the knife and fork. I've eaten fried eggs with chopsticks before but we didn't have a great deal of time. Leilei and I left Nezha to finish his food and went to bring down the luggage, and although it was 5 minutes before the bus (this time an actual Spacecruiser-sized mianbao che) was due to leave it was already out there with the engine running.

Pathetic last breakfast in China

So we fetched Nezha's stuff and just about managed to get the luggage fitted around the other people's stuff, and understood that luckily T2 would be the first stop, so 10 minutes later we were there. I could probably have chosen the 10am shuttle bus but was really worried there would be issues ahead. But as it was, even though there were nearly four hours till the flight we were ushered to a queue-free China Southern check-in area and I gave the lady the three passports and said I'd had no problem reserving the seats for the boys but thought there may be an issue with mine. But I was massively relieved to find that I was fine and we were all on the same row. Once the hold luggage had gone through we were told to wait one or two minutes before we could go as there were evidently people checking the x-rays. This is why I told the boys not to take the bibi guns. We were given the international "ok" sign of a thumb and first finger ring by the lady and Nezha gave a bigger sigh of relief than most people would have needed to. I just hope he didn't have anything dodgy in there....

I was relieved, Nezha was relieved, but Leilei wasn't as he had a decidedly dodgy tummy and wanted to go the toilet before security. Fine, go, we had plenty of time, so he went but a minute later he was back saying they only had squatters. Jeez, even I've managed to negotiate squatters...a few times this trip nonetheless, but as "desperate" as he was he said he could hold it through security. The airport wasn't particularly busy so security was 10 minutes and none of us were held up this time although neither of the boys had liquids bags annoyingly and I had to take their perfume and deodorant into mine. They so need to start learning to think ahead....

Of course normally after security that's it...you go to duty free or the lounge. But next was the health declaration we hadn't planned on. I thought that was just for entering China. But no, we needed to scan a QR card with Weixin, then fill in a picky questionnaire with a very unintuitive interface. But after a good 15 minutes we eventually got our new QR codes, which we scanned to get through this next fence. But then was passport control...yes fair enough, we hadn't had our passports stamped out of the country yet, so yet another queue of about 20 minutes, but Leilei appeared to prefer that than squat.

Finally we were into the duty free area and I remembered to pick up some Esse menthols for Awl, who for some reason was awake at 3am UK time. The boys decided to go for a wander as is their wont, but I told them I wanted to find a lounge as the Amex app said there was only one but I doubted that. A couple of minutes later I found the China Southern lounge and it accepted Priority Pass, so I said the boys would be around shortly, but it turned out it would be better to wait for them so I called Leilei and they said they'd be there soon. So I scanned the code and boarding pass and added two guests (Nezha better appreciate he's cost me £20 for both times).

Eventually the boys turned up and scanned in and we availed ourselves of some decent food as is normal in my experience in lounges in the three or four biggest Chinese cities. I waited till 11am before having a 5% wheat beer as I was too embarrassed to ask for a G&T at the bar (at least until someone else had). I chatted with Awl again who still hadn't got to sleep at 4am but only for 20 minutes or so. The 1.20pm flight was to board at 12.40pm, which gave us only another hour, so I managed a 2nd beer and after went to the bar to ask for a G&T. Well I said it in Mandarin and I said it in English but she didn't understand - so I ended up pointing at the Beefeater bottle and she said that was just for show and wasn't actually available, before pointing at a selection of red wines and a whisky to say I could have that. I asked what about cold white wine and she pointed to the fridge on the bar...hmmm...champagne...well that might be a nice way to say goodbye to China so I poured myself a decent sized one before a Chinese bloke came up to me and said something I knew was an attempt at English but couldn't understand so asked him in Mandarin what he wanted. In fact he just wanted the same as me so I handed him the bottle. I would have liked to respond in English but I was in my last hour in the country so really appreciated possibly my last mini-conversation.

I offered the boys a small glass too but Leilei wasn't interested. Nezha accepted one though and I had another small one to join him. Then the notice came that the London flight was boarding. We never leave at this point. We knew we had a short 10 minute walk to the gate, so I followed what the boys had been eating - two mini hamburgers and some more beef, and maybe poured myself a first and last whisky as I knew I'd require sleep on the 12 hour flight.

Gorgeous mini-hamburgers

Maybe a last nip before vacating the lounge

So appetites sated, we left at 12.50pm and got there as some of the last people to get on. No problem, there was plenty of hand luggage space at row 60 near the back. No problem with the flight either as it left on time and despite eating in the lounge we all pretty much finished lunch, after which thanks to the lounge and some Phenergan and maybe we each had a melatonin, we each managed to sleep relatively quickly afterwards, despite the usual turbulence.

Maybe I got four to five hours' sleep but it was more than many times, and I managed a couple of late James Bond films that I'd not seen before, before another meal and some more shuteye. With a couple of hours to go we all found ourselves hungry again so went the few feet back to the back to get ourselves a sandwich each. By now it was 5pm UK time, so a bit later I sneaked out a beer I might have appropriated from the lounge and sneaked a bit into my cup while the attendants weren't around, and another and another till it was gone and I hoped the cleaning people wouldn't report me as I left it under my seat. I started watching Star Trek: into the darkness, which was pretty crap in many ways but being tired and tiddly helps one with such films. The turbulence came again, but ultimately we landed pretty firmly, but safely.

This time passport control and getting luggage was a breeze, and we were on the Piccadilly line soon after. We would have taken the Lizzie line but it would have been £17+ each rather than the £6 tube which only took a few minutes longer. And that was it. The boys had had the China experience of a lifetime. They would no doubt experience the homecoming blues, but I've done that for 20 years now and you just have to adjust. We have no idea when we might come back. Well, I have an idea that I'll do it soon if I can sort out Leilei with uni stuff...it's been literally like a long dream and I just want to go back to sleep....

Leilei reunited with Ami back home

Back to Guangzhou

Up at 8am for a very short time before 11.30am came around and I managed to get up at midday as I knew I'd not packed properly. I'd decided to leave about half the clothes I'd turned up with as Tan had plonked 12kg of clothes for her and Xixi in my suitcase yesterday and said that was fine as I still had 11kg. Blimey my suitcase was full and above 20kg when I came here and that was without presents.

So I went to get four portions of jiaozi from our local place but she only had one. But this time I was willing to wait seven minutes, so popped next door and had a nice chat with the bloke looking after Lu zong's water shop, whom I'd known for some time but not really had a proper conversation with before. Yes it was a simple conversation but he didn't know it would be one of my last for a while and I really appreciated it and drank it up. Even after saying goodbye to the jiaozi woman I took the long way back just to stop at the second hand dian dong che place to say thank you again to the bloke who fixed our bike four weeks ago.

I also spent time playing with a poor kitty in a bird cage but I guess had she not been there she'd have been run over by now...and how dare I define it as a she?

Back home it was gone 1pm and I knew I should sort out seats for the flight tomorrow, but I first had my portion of jiaozi and allowed myself a Li Quan pijiu as I wouldn't have the chance for a long while. Frustratingly, China Southern wouldn't accept my flight details. I'm sure this is all to do with asking for a quote for changing the date to go back 10 days ago when BA insisted that I get another booking reference. But this booking reference wouldn't work, and neither would the original ticket number. I tried with Leilei's and it went through fine and he was seat 60J. Then with Nezha his was fine and already 60H so at least they'd been put together. But for the sin of requesting a quote for a later flight I was not able to find my flight and for all I know I may not even get on the flight tomorrow. It's these sort of times that I have hope for my Amex travel insurance should something bad happen tomorrow.

At least the boys managed to rumble of out bed and grab a shower by 2pm. We did our last minute stuff and I realised I'd be leaving two pairs of shoes, three or four pairs of trousers, and at least six tops. But I'd be coming back with two Pingguo Haliao football tops to put that in perspective. I grabbed my shower last minute at 2.30pm as didn't want to be sweating before the train, and Tan said she and Xixi would come to the train station with us to book their tickets to Nanning tomorrow. At 2.59pm, 58 minutes before our train was due, she booked a didi che, but for some reason couldn't book two. As it was we managed to get all our luggage in the boot and front seat of the car and then Tan said they weren't going as Xixi wasn't ready or something. So in typical Pingguo style we left in a single car to minimal goodbyes.

And under 10 minutes later we were at Pingguo Huoche Zhan, and it cost a whole 5.4 kuai! My bags went through fine despite having a portable charger but Leilei's got found. Nezha had four lighters, which they found and said he was only allowed to take two - and that was fine apparently as two didn't work anyway...but still why take them? Luckily I'd told them not to take the bibi guns or the knives they'd bought, so five minutes later we were in the waiting room with only 10 minutes to go before queuing up for our train. I imagined what it would have been like had we had to take a 4pm flight from Nanning...we'd have probably had to leave Pingguo soon after 10am with no time for last minute packing or lunch. Not to mention the only flight to Guangzhou was at 7.20am which would have meant hotels and 4am waking up - no thank you!

Apparently this is a "happy" look, though sad to be leaving Pingguo

Now I know what is different about Pingguo this time. It's quiet, at least relatively. There's very little bibbing, far fewer fireworks, and just in general there's been less noise where we live. I quite appreciate that. And indeed the journey to the station was as calm as any journey I've taken in this city. Even in our 1st class carriage (as all the other tickets had sold out a day after going on sale) there were not so many people with loud mobile games playing, or shouting on their phones. It's all just a little bit perceptibly calmer.

The 4h29m journey was spent mostly asleep by the boys, who have rarely got up before 4pm, but that wouldn't happen for me so I ended up having the cold beer I'd brought with me with the silly idea of bringing it to the UK. At the tube station I bought three 9 kuai tickets as I'd done back in June, except this time using Weixin. You'd have thought they'd tell you how much it would be but I was just given the option of various prices so worked on memory. Of course an hour and a bit later the tokens we were given would not let us out and I had to find the service person who told us that we needed to pay 1 kuai more each. Inflation? Some other reason? I certainly wasn't going to find out there and then and ended up paying 1 kuai with Weixin but for some reason I needed to pay the other two with cash.

I called the hotel, who gave me the number of the driver, then called him to find out he'd be outside door 46. As luck would have it we were at number 44 so 50 yards later we went to wait and didn't see anything. Fair enough he did say he'd be a few minutes but after 10 minutes I called him again and he said he was already there. In my mind I'd imagined a Spacecruiser-sized mianbao che but after a few shouts I heard his voice emanating from a much larger vehicle and we got in with only just enough space for our luggage, and 10 minutes later we were in what actually looked to be a decent hotel. As soon as I had checked in and we'd dumped the luggage we went downstairs to get our free noodles. There were only two sets left in the warmer so I let the boys have them and they went out straight away to find drinks because the noodles would be "too dry" without that. Whatever. The lady gave me a new set of noodles and I couldn't be bothered to wait for them to get warm and they were actually rather nice for free.

The boys came back saying there were no shops but I took that as a bit of a challenge as I rather fancied a cold beer. So I left them and walked for around 45 minutes and indeed there was nothing. Plenty of living areas and work areas but this place 3.7km from the airport did not want to sell me anything. So back at the hotel I asked if they happened to have any cold beers and of course they did, and I chose four local brews at a costly 16 kuai each but I didn't care...they went down very well and I even got two more when the boys decided they wanted an ice lolly each. The hotel room was ok but lacked the sofa the trip.com app said it would have. But Leilei set about putting a few cushions on the floor inside some sort of kid's wigwam (the hotel room was family-oriented) as fair enough at his age he didn't want to share even a king-size bed with me and my snoring. Well it was to be my last night in China for a while, and after a brief chat with Awl fell asleep by 2am.