My new guitar and unexpected meal with singing

Oh it was horrid without A/C. I woke up early but still managed a bit more dripping sleep.

Tan called a bloke about electricity and he said he’d come at 12.10 which was in 20 mins so I stayed in rather than go to get lunch, which was horrible DFC delivered for the kids as Tan was about to go out.

The electric bloke arrived and quickly determined that one of the electric switches was not working as it was too hot. He removed the surrounding plastic of the main fuse box to expose a load of wires but didn’t turn off the mains (if that was even an option). Then he tested all the main switches and did some other tests before stating that something was wrong with the water heater. He left, then came back 15 mins later, Tan was by this time gone so I was all by my own trying to understand something quite important. He showed me that when he stuck one end of a voltmeter(?) In the socket and one on a tap there was virtually nothing but when he stuck the other end on the actual water boiler it went to 256 (volts?). Then he said it was dangerous and we shouldn’t take a shower near it when it’s on yi fan wan yi (just in case). Then he said something about safety first, which I understood and appreciated, but was still mindful about his working with the mains without turning them off first.

The one on the left was buggered apparently...cost us three nights' sleep without A/C and saved us probably a quid of leccy

Disgusting DFC again - I will not touch it

As we were talking he mentioned something about Yang Shuo and Guilin, and I belatedly realised he’d turned the conversation to where to visit on holiday, which was slightly weird. Anyway the work cost 80 kuai and I gave him 100 and he tried to send me the change via WeChat, and although I told him it wouldn’t work he insisted. So now I have a useless red envelope that will expire soon. I have read that it’s possible to get a Chinese bank account on a tourist visa - it’s just that it may take several attempts. I should at least give it a go, then I could pay like a local.

So, with a semi-fix for the electricity we now were able to turn on three or more A/C units at a time but we should not leave the water boiler on when it was not necessary...well we could live with that.

Next I planned to take the kids to meet up with Li Kun. I’d decided I wanted to upgrade my rather crappy guitar I’d had for nearly 11 years here so went to the guitar teacher’s place by the stadium we’d gone to on our first day here.

Li Kun insisted on giving us a lift in his white 4x4 though, which given the now searing heat actually seemed like a better idea. We broke into a sweat just walking to his car, and from it to the guitar place. Once there he brought out a selection of guitars as if he owned the place and gave them to me one at a time, as if I could actually value them in a glance. I did make the time to tune them up and pluck a little, but didn’t have enough of it to check each fret for each string. He told me this one was 2600 kuai and it was really good and I told him I was here for a few weeks each year and wasn’t going to frivolously spend £300 just like that. The last one he brought out was a dark shade of green, but it played nicely and the action wasn’t too high unlike some of the others. I took a bit of a liking to it despite its colour, then when he told me it was 680 kuai I pretty much made my decision on the spot. It had the hole for an amp, which I’d been told was necessary (did that mean I was expected to play??) and it just felt and sounded nice.

I told him I wanted the green one and I had the slight feeling he would have preferred me to take the expensive one, but I explained what I saved could go towards other things, and I think he got it. It was a Chinese brand hence the price but I think they all were really. Next he got out a cable and plugged me into an amp and then shoved a microphone in front of my gob. I wouldn’t have minded late at night after a few beers but we’d just barged in the guitar teacher’s shop and disturbed him teaching three young students, and now I had to perform. Well I couldn’t not really, so grabbed a capo (which was included in the price) and banged out Sounds of Silence for the first time soberly in front of people in Pingguo - and they seemed to appreciate it as they asked for more…. So I thought I’d give my fingers a bigger test and let out a couple of verses of Bleecker Street, which guitar teacher appeared to appreciate more than Li Kun as it is rather more complicated than SoS. Li Kun managed to arrange a new case for the guitar as well, but it would be delivered in a couple of days so I took an old one for the purposes of getting it home.

But we didn’t go straight home. For some reason I’d told Li Kun I missed playing the piano, which is very true when I come here even though in previous years I’ve managed to find piano schools and have a little practice now and again. So now, keeping in the musical theme, and rather to the chagrin of the kids, he drove us to the music shop of the keyboard player of his band. Once there I was tempted to have a go on the electric piano, but he seemed to think I would prefer the real piano. Most times I would have done but Pingguo pianos have never been in tune in my experience. In this case it was certainly not in tune but so much better than any other one. I went through some of my Scott Joplin repertoire, knowing full well that no-one had heard any before, and got polite applause from all except my kids, who had started bashing about on the electric piano rather rudely.

I liked it more than I showed...gosh if I lived here I'd definitely get an electric one to wile away the evenings that I wasn't out

My lovely new guitar with my old one which has served me well over the last 11 years (the clothing in the background is the teeshirt Li Kun's group wears - it's as if I'm a semi-member)

Well, it had been a productive afternoon for me, but not so much for the kids, so when we got back I forced Leilei to do some maths homework that he really didn’t want to, and as I had two guitars now, helped Xixi to learn G, C, and D chords on the old one. To be fair she did ok, having had her callouses developed by violin playing over the last couple of years, though it was a bit of a stretch, being full-sized. She took it away and practised in her room, and I didn’t try to force it too much. If you want to learn a musical instrument that’s the point - it should be because you want to. I would be ok with her stopping the violin if she really put an effort into another instrument.

As teatime came around we were rather lazy as Tan was out so I made the kids convenient noodles. I suppose we would call them instant noodles but I prefer the literal translation. I didn’t have any though as I’ve had enough carbs from weak beer, but I realised I’d had no lunch either so I forced myself to have a couple of really light, salty biscuits, the size of those rich tea fingers, before we went to the guangchang again but this time at 7.15pm when it was still quite light.

We went to the basketball area first for Leilei to try out the ball we got him the other day and he was sort of forced to join in with a couple of other people as there were only two hoops, then 20 minutes later we were back at the rollerskating area and Xixi had another 5 kuai to spend on hiring a pair. This time Leilei had brought his skateboard, that he’d brought from UK, so they were both on wheels for a good hour or so and I learnt two new words - liu bing for roller skates, and hua ban for skateboard.

While they were skating I got an IM from a contact in WeChat, but wasn’t really sure who they were. They said they’d invite me to eat in a few days. Fair enough - that seemed jolly nice and I responded as such. Then a couple of minutes later I got a video call to go for a drink with them and some colleagues now. It was a woman who was apparently an ex-colleague of Tan’s and I guess we’d met a year or so ago. I told them I was with the kids and I’d be an hour or so and that seemed ok.

At about 9pm we went straight from the guangchang to the location they’d sent on WeChat. Sometimes locations are not that accurate and indeed this was one of those cases. So when we were off the bike I called them and within a minute someone was outside shouting to us to come over. It appeared that it was a woman from Bangxu with about 14 other friends, mostly other women. As the three of us entered we received a cheer - just for being white (or half-white), which is a bit like positive racism. I guess being on the receiving end of that is literally the opposite of being on the receiving end of “normal” racism.

They proceeded to order food we didn’t want, and beer I did, as the alternative was red wine. The main bloke of the party then stood up and sang a song and which made everyone laugh (except for my kids), and all in all it was a very jovial time. Very random, very silly, and very funny, especially when I gave them my well-rehearsed one-liner - “I fear nothing in the sky, nothing on the ground, I only fear my wife speaking Bangxu language” which put them in fits of laughter. I’ll probably never understand 100% why it’s so funny….

This bloke was the life and soul of the party

We had to make our excuses and leave by around 9.45pm as Haiwei had invited me to his office to talk with his eldest son in English, but I first left Leilei at home as he was tired. Xixi though was hungry and wanted jiu gui yumi, which is a lovely fried sweetcorn dish, so we took the bike to Zhou Laoban’s place, where we bumped into him and some mates having a meal so I was obliged to have a couple of glasses while they did the yumi. Then on the way back we bumped into Zhang Hongping, whom I hadn’t seen for years so gave him a hug, and told him to call my phone so we could meet up soon. I honestly thought he had died six or seven years ago as contact had stopped abruptly between us. Then I finally got Xixi home and left her as Tan was back, and finally went for for a couple of beers with Haiwei, strangely drunken out of champagne glasses, and I think he was happy as I did speak with his son in English for a while.

Back home I should have slept but for the same reason that always happens here I didn’t. 5am swung around and I decided sod it I’d stay up till 6 and go for a jog, but that was the last conscious thought I had.

Back to the guangchang

Up at 6am again! Dammit, or damnit, I did try to sleep but thought I might as well make use of the situation as Liangwen had just IM’d me that he was going for a jog in the guangchang. But my legs were leaden after yesterday’s effort so I made it a walk instead, and as he’d already run 11.64km he accompanied me to Lu Wen’s place for breakfast of beef noodles and insisted on paying.

The boring things in life happen here too, and I was obliged to pay the water and service bill, so went to the place downstairs and interrupted the woman from her brunch noodles. I said I could come back later but she was adamant it was fine. And a few minutes later I handed over 954 kuai. That paid for either the last year or the next - I wasn’t quite sure even though I asked. But whatever the amount it sounded reasonable for whatever it was. I really want to know more about utilities here; it seems I only hear about them when they stop. Like suddenly there’s no water because we haven’t paid the bill, or worse, no electricity. If I just knew what we owed it would be so much easier. To be fair Tan did say that the blue electricity book had our unique number on it and there was some way of checking what the balance was.

I'm not sure this was supposed to add up to 964.48 kuai...

It was quite easy in the end - prepend 040100 to the number in the book and the electronic display shows how much credit you have for electricity...at least it was easy when the person in the shop showed me how...and we had 354 kuai

We needed a couple of things from the supermarket, including a bath mat. Such a simple thing I thought I could get at a local market, but try as I might no-one had any, until I found one in a supermarket for 80 kuai. No way I was paying that much for one. I was at Guan Mart and since I’ve been coming here I’ve been tempted to buy a replica shopping trolley for what reason I cannot explain other than I can’t get one in the UK. One was 20 kuai and definitely less than a quarter useful as a bathmat but for some reason much more satisfactory.

Somehow we have ended up with an autonomous vacuum cleaner that we don't really need but Er Jie gave it to Tan when they went to Baise - hmm...

As darkness arrived I took the kids out for our first together trip to the guangchang this year. They both really wanted to go on the bouncy castles but I had to insist Leilei at least, at virtually 6 foot could not go. Xixi wouldn’t go without him so they both pushed me but I held firm. The average age there was 5 and I wasn’t having them increase that to 7. They were really bitter until I let them have a go on the guns to shoot balloons to win a prize. Then it was my turn to be bitter as after giving them a few goes each and spending a fiver during it I realised the red balloons appeared to be made of tougher rubber than the others that popped easily with the ball-bearings. I nearly had a go at the stall keepers but thought better of it, as we walked away without any teddy bears they’d been hoping for.

Shitty non-popping red balloons - we won't be going back there...

So far the night was a bit of a failure but then Xixi saw all the kids on roller skates. We walked over and women came up to her offering skates for hire and we found out it was only 5 kuai, so she got a pair straight away. She spent the next hour learning to inline skate, half the time holding on to me, and got 100x the money’s worth than from the shooting.

At last some fun on the in-line skates

Drenched in sweat, I had to take them home as Waterman had invited me out at 9pm for a drink at his shop. I duly obliged and had a great time until I was also obliged to meet Haiwei at 11.30 for a few beers. And then Li Kun contacted me for a few more after midnight. Gosh my social life is fairly busy at the moment - this should quieten down soon I think.

Keeping track of the kms on the dian dong che

More food at Li Kun's while the teacher was falling asleep

I probably would have been more annoyed at the lack of A/C had I been more awake and more sober but I made my way to my sofabed in my study and just managed to put on the sheet before slumber called to me in a way that my friends just couldn’t.

First jog in ages

Despite the late night I was up bang on 6am and knew I wouldn’t be getting any more sleep any time soon, so for the first time in nearly three months I decided to go for a jog. It’s been a grim time with sciatica but the pain has now changed to numbness down part of my left leg. But the jog itself was pretty painful though I did just manage 5km. For some reason I thought one lap of the guangchang was 2.5k but in fact it’s bang on a mile, so as I turned into the last straight and checked the Strava app I was mightily disappointed to see I wasn’t approaching 5k at all...more like 4k...and the extra half lap I did really took it out of me.

View from my jog

5k round the guangchang

But it least it meant I was up in time for a quick drive to Po Xiang village, outside of which we stopped for a noodle breakfast and people were cutting up their own bits of meat and paying for it in a sort of serve-yourself butchery way that this place apparently was. Indeed some paperwork was done in an office that had more people working in it than was really necessary, and I took the opportunity to have a wander in the searing heat, and came across surprised looking old people as this really was out in the sticks.

I had to go the bank and noticed that 3,4,5, and 9 were not so popular!

Girls about to go in a bigger car than before

Back in Pingguo for midday I gave Haiwei a ring and was happy to hear he hadn’t eaten so I invited him, although he was the one to pick me up and decide where to go, which thankfully was a relatively simple place near his office. Oh these sorts of meals are most satisfying...no beer and just a decent conversation with Haiwei and his second son. I learnt that he is no longer on speaking terms with the business partner from last year. Apparently he had invested money with him and something had gone wrong. Last year he seemed so excited about me helping out in his aluminium venture but I sensed he didn’t really want to talk about it. He also had plans to send his first son to university in the UK or Australia but that appears to be off the cards now too. He did let me pay the 89 kuai bill, which I appreciated. He agreed that you don’t always have to go to a posh place to eat, and that was pretty good value for three people.

Only got to sleep at 3pm at home catching up on the news. Still no blinking wifi so I hope I’m not cutting too much into my 4G - I’d love to know how much I have left of the 30GB, and whether it will stop after one month, and whether the kids’ SIM cards that are linked to mine share the data allowance (better not). Then at 6pm went to Li Jia He Xian with the friend from this morning...yes! two meals without alcohol for the first time this year in China!

Later I felt the duty to go to the bike shop that I’d only spent 15 minutes at yesterday to drink tea. I found he also sells some sort of magic medicine but he didn’t call it medicine as he admitted he wasn’t a doctor. But he didn’t stop telling me how amazing this stuff was and insisted it would fix my sciatic issues. He put some on my leg and wrapped it in clingfilm and it started to get very hot. I had to leave it for 15 minutes but when it came off I said it felt the same, but of course he said I needed to have several sessions for it to work…. Oh yes that old one. Basically with issues that can resolve themselves whatever you are taking at the time it gets better is considered to be the cure...it’s probably the only reason some people still believe in homoeopathy, and this is likely no different. I didn’t say that of course, but said I’d be back sometime which might end up being a lie. I’m sure he believes in it himself and I would have liked to know how much one bottle was but that would have shown too much interest.

The bottle I was too scared to ask how much it was in case he thought I was interested

...but I ended up having a wrap of it and it was bloody hot...not that it solved anything other than my inquisitiveness as to how hot it might be

A Wu and Huang both bade me out but first I went to see Li Kun who was on own at his place so we drank hong cha before I left to meet Huang for the first time this year. He was well and we enjoyed a couple of drinks but not too much as I had to fit in A Wu too. He had said to go to the KTV place by his Boss Zhou’s office, but first I checked the office itself. It was a good idea as there were about 25 pissed blokes sitting around a table and my entry was greeted by more cheers than were necessary. I was pretty much forced to gan bei with most of them and had to play some cai ma too for the next half an hour until about half of them broke off to go to KTV. It was actually a little boring with so many pissed blokes so soon after midnight I made excuses and left them to enjoy themselves and A Wu seemed to understand.

I shouldn't complain - last year I barely went to "sing song"

But I wasn’t that tired and had what I thought was the good idea of going for a massage. I didn’t think I’d actually find one but happened upon one with a woman sitting in it at half midnight. She didn’t seem too pissed off that it was late, though the bloke who arrived just after me did when she said she was closing and I was clearly the last client. We talked about families and our kids and where she was from etc., except then she pulled my boxers down more than I thought was decent but I had explained about the sciatica and it was actually very comfortable.

I got home not a great deal before 2am and slept for one hour before annoyingly waking up at 3.15 for another 45m. What is going on?

Tea

Up at a reasonable 8am mainly because it was just so hot and sweaty as it seems when we put on a third air-con the electricity goes. I went for a walk around the guangchang at 8.30 before it became too blistering to do much more. Maybe I’ll try a short jog soon when get up earlier. I should have seen Li Kun yesterday afternoon but forgot his invitation of tea so made amends and went to see him before 10am. At least at this time “drink tea” meant that, and I had a nice 40 mins or so chatting with two colleagues/clients. They were in the business of discussing budget for some facial recognition system. I looked at the papers and realised this was for businesses to keep track of who was coming in and out of their premises, and worked with infrared so it could work when dark. Li Kun reminded me of a music concert he was in tonight and said I should sing a song too. I told him in no uncertain terms there was no way I was doing that. This was not some little pub like last year.

Smackface

Li Kun in his work garb though I don't know what his work really is

Tan rang to say she and the kids were going to Er Jie’s new house in Baise at lunchtime with A Xia and her son Su Liyi. They’d already ordered lunch to be delivered as is the norm now, except we often have to go downstairs to let the delivery people in as the door opener thing on the entryphone doesn’t work and we’ve been meaning to get it fixed for years. They hadn’t ordered for me but it wasn’t necessary as I had leftover dumplings and noodles.

I went to the bank to get out some cash - you can tell which numbers are less popular

Another thing that annoyingly needs to be fixed is the internet. It just stopped this morning, though no-one noticed as they all have 4G SIM cards on their phones...but I don’t on my laptop so tether when necessary.

They finally left at around three, by which time I was bursting for a sleep, and duly did as soon as they were gone. After a refreshing couple of hours or so I was feeling a little peckish but didn’t want a meal as I knew I’d be eating with Li Kun at 9.30pm, so I went to the supermarket and bought two black eggs and some sunflower seeds and a bottle of 0% sugar, added fibre Coke, before Li Kun pinged me at 7 to remind me about the concert. I asked what time he’d be there and he said he already was. I was worried he’d want me there early too so I said I’d come along later.

I was really worried he’d try to make me sing, and this was an outdoor concert at the foot of Horsehead Mountain, a busy area of town. I was so concerned that I appropriated a bit of V into the fibreful Coke just in case the worst came to the worst. And a little into a bottle of fibreful Sprite Zero to take with me. As it was, when I turned up at 8pm on the dot there were not that many people taking up the 50 or so plastic stools. But that became more as the show went on... and was pretty good. Mostly Li Kun’s band, with a variation of guest singers, interspersed with some kids playing guitar and singing. After half an hour I stopped worrying about being called up to play - they were quite organised and had a proper schedule of music. Plus I was hidden away in the dark of the seats and even Li Kun called me during one of his intervals to ask me where I was.

Guitar solo from the concert...so glad I didn't have to go on stage

By the end Haiwei had also called me to go for a drink, but I told him I needed to be with Li Kun first. However, Li Kun said he’d be a good half an hour sorting out the instruments so I ended up paying a quickish visit to see Haiwei at 同老田螺 near our place. As the name suggests, they specialise in snails, which wasn’t ideal for me as by now I was much more than peckish, I was gobblish, but the amount you get out of a snail, and the time it takes, does not make for a very efficient input of energy; it’s basically beer food. It was hot inside despite the fans, so we moved outside, where it was hotter still, but no-one seemed to admit this and I didn’t want to lose anyone’s face by saying so, and to be fair it was less smoky. Cai ma ensued, until I felt I had to go to meet Li Kun. The good thing about Haiwei (well, one of the good things) is that he’ll understand such a motive and won’t try to keep you.

But first I “had” to meet a friend to drink tea close by to where the concert was. There were various soft drink shops around, but we sat with the manager of a bicycle shop nestled in between the other shops, as he poured red tea and chatted with us. It was quite nice but I was aware Li Kun was awaiting my company so after 15 minutes I was made to promise I’d come out with them tomorrow to a neighbouring town while they do some paperwork. Well...why not?

Li Kun and the group were sitting outside the pub I played at last year. It was great to gan bei with them and tell them how good and professional they were, especially the piano player, who didn’t get a big round of applause when he did his solo piece. I managed to stay till midnight, by which time even the effects of the siesta had fallen away, and made my excuses to go home for an “early” night. But for a stupid reason I was up till gone 2am.

Milton Friedman and beer

Up at 5am as the electricity, and therefore A/C went again. I switched it back on then went to turn on the kids’ A/C and then got moaned at for turning on AC in main bedroom because I woke Tan up. You just can’t win. I wasn’t in the mood to get up just yet so put on a Youtube video of Milton Friedman and although I found him interesting I also found the subject had a slightly soporific effect. I mainly dozed for the next four hours as Youtube auto-played several Friedman videos. I woke up properly when I heard him say he hated the Federal Reserve and wished the system could be replaced by a computer. What a pity he wasn’t around to witness the birth of Bitcoin - I’m sure he would have loved it.

Xixi was also up so the two of us went to register ourselves at the police station. This time they just said to leave our passports as all the details were the same as last year, and they’d call me when it was ready or if there was a problem. We’d been expecting to wait there for up to an hour as per previous years so we took advantage of the time to get provisions from the supermarket before picking up Leilei and going to the underground shopping centre to see if we could find A Xia who moved there three months previously. Boringly we guessed the right entrance (no. 32) and found her shop within a minute, something that could have taken loads more. But A Xia wasn’t there, so as it was getting on for midday we went to the Yumi tang place for lunch, where the woman stopped me in mid-order and finished it for me - she remembered our usual from last year.

As we got back home after sweetcorn soup and fried egg and egg fried rice I received a picture text from Li Kun that appeared to be for some sort of concert for tomorrow...I possibly could have translated it if I’d had a spare hour but that wasn’t happening, so I left it. It was more important to take the kids out to have a drink of watermelon juice and zhen zhu nai cha. And even more important to get a siesta….

A Xia's new shop in the underground mall

I put on Milton Friedman again and dozed from 1.15pm to 3pm. At first I was listening, then two out of every 10 words I wouldn’t hear, this increased gradually until I only recognised a noise in the background. Oh how I wish hypnopaedia worked - I would be on the way to being an economist by now. Whether I knew any more about fractional lending or not, I was certainly refreshed.

Tan told me about a mate who was in debt and shamed by being on a public website. I’d heard about how a number of citizens had been blacklisted, and how they were not allowed to travel by train or plane, and now I knew one. It’s sad in multiple ways. Being in debt itself, but being publicly shamed seems a little old-fashioned though our media does it all the time for different offences. But also from an institutional perspective how did banks make so many “bad” loans? Especially after the 2008 crisis - did they not ensure people had collateral? What will happen if they don’t get the money back? Government bailouts I expect, like in the West, and the banks will get a slight slap on the wrist.

Waterman had invited me out for 9pm. I didn’t really want to eat but met a friend for eight jiaozi for 6 kuai before picking up the bottle of Jim Beam Red Stag I’d bought in duty free for him and waited until he contacted me at 9.02pm to say he was there. I had some memories of being there last year, and certainly remembered the “English” beer with the Union Flag on it that was probably brewed a few miles away. Still, as I’d had a little rest in the afternoon it was more than doable and although I got back around midnight I still didn’t sleep till 3.15.

At the bar with Waterman - a "friendly" between Spurs and Man U

Nice bar food

First full day in Pingguo - meals and getting dian dong che back, and the ladies

Jeepers I woke up at 3am sharp, and couldn’t get back to sleep due to excitement about being home, so I did some unpacking and put some clothes on to wash before putting on some Youtube video about money and falling asleep again at 5.30 until 9, though Leilei was not getting up at that time.

We needed SIM cards and Li Kun had kindly offered to sort us out as these days you need an ID to get one. In fact we needed three as Tan had already sorted hers out. This meant the best part of an hour in a China Mobile shop, including choosing our numbers. I chose one that ended in the year of my birth and then the date of my birth, while choosing the kids’ ones which would be next to each other. Not that it matters these days - almost everyone uses WeChat so numbers need not apply. The good thing is that apparently my number won’t change again so for those that do the old-fashioned thing of calling a number it should be more convenient. I noticed that for each of our new numbers Li Kun had to do a face ID in front of a screen while touching his ID card. It’s really happening, though I guess not too different from e-passports where they scan your face.

Happily we now have two lifts working in out building, but it means less time for taking pics of the view that I rather like...

Li Kun showing his face ID to help us get SIM cards for this year (and hopefully the future) - who's the person in the background with the Bengals teeshirt?

Happy to be online outside of wifi, I went to deliver a few presents from the UK while Leilei stayed inside. Yang Haiwei knew I was in town and video called me to drink tea so of course I said I would. And it genuinely was only tea, which was a good thing. On the way back I stopped at Lu Wen’s to say hello. Although I was only 30 seconds from home the heavens opened and I was “forced” to stay for a few beers with him. I did explain to Leilei and he was fine as he had food and A/C. But it was nice to get back an hour later and grab an hour’s shuteye even if Leilei didn’t.

Good to meet up with Lu Wen again but wasn't expecting a beer so early...at least it was to help a siesta

I woke up at 5pm to a call from Xixi as they were in Hong Kong and about to board their flight to Nanning. They’d originally told me they would be arriving in Pingguo after 10pm but I worked out it would be nearer 8pm as A Heng was picking them up. So I made sure the house was reasonable but most of that had already been done. Just a question of washing some clothes from last year that smelled a bit really. Then I realised Leilei and I only really had a couple of hours of proper freedom left in Pingguo.

So I contacted Chuan Chuan about the dian dong che and she said it was sorted and was at Jiuma’s place (previously Waipo’s - a bit sad). So we walked over and picked it up and were not too surprised to find it had little dian, but it got us back home and our card still had space for the security to sign with the date and give us electricity. This is probably the longest running electricity card in Pingguo, having been going strong for three years now, but will run out after another 10 or so charges and I dread to think how much the next one will be.

Our dian dong che has an official number plate, and not a bad one IMO

I'll have to work out how many km it's done since we've been away...hopefully it has been used...

My friend Chen then pinged me to ask me to go out to eat. Well why not? We had nothing planned so went to the place not far from home, and thankfully Leilei ate very well. He is coming out of his shell a bit more this year and talking to people in Mandarin in a way he’s been very reluctant to in the last few years. But even he was bored after two hours so excused himself and I took him home.

Shortly afterwards I got a call from Er Jie. She invited me to drink alcohol, which I found slightly surprising, until I found out she really wanted to be with Leilei. So I explained the that he was not with me but I ended up needing to pick him up and walk to meet her at some bbq place where she was eating. On the way there we met Ghanian Steve, and promised to meet up soon for a drink. Almost as soon as we met Er Jie, we left with her and what may be her new boyfriend, and got the second san lun che this year to Tian Yang Po’s bbq place where we met Tan and Xixi, and A Heng, gouging themselves on delicious wares.

So much for being tired - we got home and the ladies showered and then annoyingly as three A/Cs were turned on the electricity went. It happened at 1am so I turned it back on, but had to go where the ladies were sleeping to turn on the A/C again, but it went again at nearly 3am too. This time I also turned the A/C back on. But when it went again at 5am I just accepted I would sleep in the beer bedroom and suffer the heat, but still went to turn on the A/C for Tan and Xixi (and Leilei’s room). Did I get any thanks for it? No, I got told off for waking them up! What justice is there when you do your utmost to make others comfortable and get criticised for it? I can imagine the criticism if I’d not bothered...you can’t win sometimes….

A semi-civilised journey to Pingguo - definitely back in the mainland

9.30am wake up wasn’t easy but I had no choice as I went downstairs to take and steal breakfast as per yesterday as Leilei showed no signs of stirring. But stir he had to soon after 10, as although the train to Guangzhou wasn’t until 12:51, we had been advised to get there at least an hour early for immigration. He wolfed down all the croissanty crap while I grabbed a shower. A few minutes later we were checked-out and in the 5 minute taxi ride to Kowloon West. Indeed the hour would have been necessary had there been more than a handful of people in the station. As it was it still took well over half an hour with the various immigration and security points, plus having to write our address in Chinese twice on the arrival cards for China as this immigration would only be done in Kowloon, a bit like the Eurostar.

One of the reasons for choosing the train was the convenience, and the ability to take liquid. I hadn’t counted on seven aerosol cans being found as indeed they were on the list of things you couldn’t bring. But they were pretty small presents for mates’ wives mainly, and I explained this and the lady kindly did not confiscate them. I did pick up a G at duty-free as it will probably be the last chance for five weeks unless this Vietnam project kicks off in the meantime.

Kowloon West station is very modern and clean

I was well peeved that the wifi on the train required that you download a train app that wanted permission to look at your photos and make phone calls. And then I found it would only work with a Chinese phone number to rub salt into the wounds. At least the journey was only one hour to Guangzhou. Leilei was less miffed than I was, perhaps because he’s always known being online and takes it for granted so not having it gives him the opportunity to do other stuff like look out of the window. I’m of the generation where we remember having a whiff of free wifi and making as much use of it as we could, such as reading the news. Anyway, it felt like the first step in China this year. The second was when we stopped at Shenzhen and the train went from 10% to 100% full and it was so loud, full of people shouting, and we immediately were reminded of one of the main differences between here and HK. Not to mention another was the SMS I received to tell me I’d used GBP5.99 of my data allowance. Oh shit I’d forgotten that Three works as per home in Hong Kong but there’s no such agreement with the mainland. I immediately switched off roaming but a few minutes later I got another text saying I’d spent another five quid - it’s bloody six quid a megabyte here….

I was a little confused as to which was the actual child size but needn't have worried as Leilei is about 1.8m

The third step was finding that we had to queue for half an hour in Guangzhou to pick up the tickets I’d booked and paid for over a month ago. It took all of thirty seconds to get my tickets after giving passport numbers - why couldn’t I do that at a machine? Maybe next year. During the queuing I’d looked in vain for wifi hotspots until I saw one with a couple of bars. It got me to a landing page that had a QR code on it and some instructions that I somewhat sheepishly had to paste into a translator in order to ascertain that the code needed to be scanned. But how to scan something that was on the screen you wanted to scan from? I thought of calling Leilei over to take a photo of my screen so I could scan that, but I reckoned there may be an easier way. I made a screenshot of the page with the QR code then opened WeChat and chose to scan QR code. That opened the camera, but I looked at the options and at the top right there were three little dots. Tapping on them revealed some other options including one to scan from album. This I did, and it worked. At least I got a step further as another page turned up, this time with another QR code. After a little translating it seemed I needed to scan this too, which got me to a new step where I had to “follow” some WeChat user and apparently respond to their greeting with the answer “256”. Then there were more taps to play a game and get shown adverts, but after about 15 minutes I was at least online on WeChat. But the reception was getting worse as I made my way down the queue, and I couldn’t lose my place there or I’d start worrying about being late for the train. I tried in vain to get the VPN to connect, with or without obfuscated servers, and I’m now in fear that this year they’ll somehow have managed to stop them, as it appears they have in HK 4G. At least I managed to get a message to Beihai Huang, to tell him when I was arriving, as he had voiced interest in picking us up, but I let him know we’d be offline for the rest of the journey.

By the time we’d got a bit of fodder for the journey we only had 45 mins till the train departed, and as we’d seen massive queues we went to gate A27 to find the train before us boarding, but not 20 minutes later it was our turn, and it was a good thing we were early on as we there was just enough space for our two large suitcases at the back of the train. I’m not sure what we got for our 120 kuai upgrades to First Class - probably just bigger seats. This time the noises came from mobile phones; many people watch programmes and play games without headphones, or the thought that that might bother others. We didn’t hear that once in HK. But it’s something we’ll adjust too - this is the first time we’ve spent time in HK before going to the mainland and I realise that other than visually, it’s a lot closer to the UK than I’d really appreciated.

I really needed a sleep but something wouldn’t let me - oh yes it was the bloke sitting across the aisle playing a stupid game on full volume on his phone - he spent half the journey asleep so I guess other noises don’t annoy him, as in fact they don’t with most mainlanders - noise is something they grow up with and therefore must learn to ignore when in need of shuteye. I need to evolve this ability soon.

The journey was otherwise stressless, and far more preferable than flying, not least because when we arrived in Pingguo 4h17m after setting off we were effectively home. There was no Huang to pick us up which was quite surprising, and I dismissed the taxi drivers trying to get us to spend money with them until we got down some steps and I realised we clearly needed help to get us home. So I said ok to a woman and she took us to her san lun che, probably the least practical vehicle with all our cases, but she insisted and helped shove them all in so we rested our legs on them and saw the funny side - we were certainly back in mainland China. It did take 10 minutes to get home after holding on to the suitcases going round corners, and although she said it would be 10 kuai I gave her 20 as it was still cheaper than a taxi and far more interesting.

Recently Tan had said the rules for driving a dian dong che had changed, and indeed we now needed to have a genuine number plate. But now you couldn’t have passengers above (yes, above) 10 years old on tow, and helmets were compulsory. But based on what we saw from the san lun che literally no-one was abiding by these new laws, other than the number plate and a couple of helmets, so Leilei and I smiled at each other, knowing we would probably be ok and not look out of place driving around as we normally do.

Back in Pingguo - first san lun che for years

Unlike literally every other year when we set foot in the house we were neither that tired or sweaty when we arrived (well ok I was tired but not 15 hours in aeroplanes tired). We took the first 2019 step into our flat, went to turn on the light and nothing. Oh no, hadn’t Lingming said he’d sorted the leccy? Phone torches were turned on and at least we could see that the place had been cleaned. I couldn’t even call Lingming, and the prospect of an AC-less dark night loomed. Then I remembered the mains board on the wall literally three feet away from my head, and saw that it was off - I flicked up the switch, took a breath, flicked up the light switched and beheld that there was light. Leilei and I high-fived, then held our breath again as we waited for the router to turn on - a double high-five met the fact we now had internet, and a minute later I performed an internal high-five as I got my VPN working. Result. We could now relax.

I'm so glad the soda siphon cap I bought fits - looking forward to fizzy drinks of my own choice again for the first time in a few years in Pingguo

I thought it said Squid Sick, but Leilei pointed out it was Squid Silk

I saw that Huang had left a message apologising but he was ill and couldn’t come to pick us up, so I let him know we were fine and told him to get better. Then I pinged Li Kun and he came over immediately to bring us to a guitar workshop where his friend was practising with another mate and a female singer. I had left Leilei at home where he wanted to be, online and chatting with Momo, so after staying there for half an hour, where I was told I would be able to buy a guitar very soon, we went to a pub/cafe that had a guitarist who was a tad too loud, but where we sat down to some beers and food. First just the two of us but over the next hour and a half it became closer to 10. But I realised I had to make it nine as I was flagging. The time had really caught up on me and I didn’t want to leave Leilei too long by himself, and Li Kun took no offence as he took me back home. And I took little time to sleep as it was already midnight.

Ladies Market and not-so-abandoned Ma Wan Village

Apparently Leilei was up till 5am, while I got some fractured sleep till 10am when I knew I had to go down for breakfast. I roused Leilei but he was having none of it and I didn’t argue. As I arrived at the eating place I was told breakfast finished at 10.30, and then again by the same person as I sat down to eat after making sure I had a second plate full of pains au chocolat. The people on the table next to me had the same plan of appropriating such pains, and I felt it was a little cheeky as my need was genuine and these people had already stuffed themselves and didn’t look like they’d starve in a long while. Something about the lure of free food I suppose. But my plan was slightly better as I actually had a small plastic bag to put my stolen wares into, plus a genuine excuse if I got caught.

Back upstairs I saw some startling news about whiteshirts beating blackshirts, and had no idea how true it was. But it made me realise that wearing pink yesterday was probably a good idea. Never have I had to worry about what colour to wear on holiday before but for the moment it has to be a consideration.

By the time we left the hotel it was 1pm but we weren’t planning on lunch. Instead Leilei wanted to go to Ladies Market, which didn’t sound his style, until he mentioned it sold electronic goods and had five floors. I had a dubious memory about having taken Xixi to such a place ten years previous, so was happy to hop up two stops on the MTR to Monkok, after first dropping off my broken laptop at a repair shop and spending 350 HKD to get it looked at. We went to where Google said it would be but all we found was a market like Temple Street but about twice the size. Leilei was in the mood to buy a cap and a “purple bape top” whatever that was. I explained about the art of haggling and how to be able to walk away always.

Leilei at Ladies Market

I needed a couple of universal-to-UK/HK adapters, and found some and asked the stallholder how much in Mandarin (I told Leilei that using Mandarin would definitely get you an extra 20% off as they’d know you knew something). She said 25 kuai each and I looked surprised. I told her that last time I was here three years ago they were 5 kuai (actually it was 10 years since I’d been to the market), and she laughed and said it was inflation, but I could have one for 20. I walked away, and disappointingly she didn’t chase after me.

But at the next place the stallholder wanted 10 for one, so I said I’d give her 20 for three and she said ok and that was that. A more reasonable inflation as I really did get them for 5 each 10 years ago. We were still looking for this five storey building and when I checked again on Google Maps there was a picture of exactly where we were and it dawned on us Ladies Market was just a bigger version of Temple Street and we had no idea where Leilei had got his five storey idea from.

In the hotel I looked up unusual things to do in Hong Kong as we had no appetite to go to Disney, and the thing that grabbed my interest was an abandoned village named Ma Wan village. Looking on the map I saw it was in the south east, and not that far on the tube from Wanchai where we were to meet up with my mate tonight. So we took the tube to the nearest stop and walked in the general direction, into an interesting old area that had the air of a fishing village but with many restaurants. The village seemed to go on for a while, and as we walked we saw a few abandoned houses but certainly the place wasn’t abandoned; there was even a clean public toilet and I managed to get a cold beer and something for Leilei. Well I wanted to wander further and he didn’t so this time I let him have his way as we didn’t want to be late in Wanchai.

Joey Bees - some cool number plates around here

Leilei in the not-so-abandoned Ma Wan Village

Not too far off from touching the hoop

What else would you do while waiting for the tube?

At Wanchai you’d never have guessed the place was the centre of mass protests yesterday. Literally no sign of unrest, just a fairly bustily place with many westerners. We met up with my mate’s wife, and two kids who I hadn’t seen for eight years, then met him a few mins later as he’d been to the doctor. We walked to his wife’s friend’s place and had some glorious goose and pork and Leilei also had his fill. They had brought their own beers and I asked if that was ok here but apparently it was only ok as they knew the owner. The owner spoke perfect Mandarin so it was easy to communicate and tell her how good the food was. We talked about the protests, Brexit, education in general, and hoped the kids were taking in what we were saying, not to give them specific opinions, but just in general to make them aware. I like how being good at maths is normal here, and literally any cashier here will ask you for the extra bit of cash to make giving change easier. Leilei for the first time refused zhen zhu nai cha (or sometimes they call it bubble tea) as he’d had one last night and we realised the caffeine in that was probably partly responsible for staying up till 5am. We left them at Causeway and didn’t have any cause to go out as it was already 10.30pm and I didn’t want to do any last-minute packing as I was doing three days ago.

Back at the hotel, family in the UK, after having seen some photos of the “abandoned” Ma Wan, thought it appropriate to let me know that I had mistaken my Ma Wan for the actual abandoned Ma Wan which is actually nearby Disneyland. Well bloody Google didn’t tell me that it was that one and as much as I would have liked to visit it was much further away and quite honestly I rather like our own Ma Wan, and have resolved to come back and have a meal there one time, even if I never get to see the abandoned one. In the end I was up till 1am packing, including ironing all five shirts as it may be the last chance I get before I may have to use them for work. Leilei also fell asleep at that time but this time I couldn’t until 6am for a reason I’ll never know.

Long walks and avoiding the protests

And yet I woke up at 5.30am on the nose. I mean bang on 5.30am not on my nose. It was that wide awake feeling you know will not be quashed any time soon with German counting so I browsed for a while.

I managed to get Leilei up just before 10 as breakfast finishes at 10:30, and I just managed to get a last-minute omelette and he managed loads of pains au chocolat after a sweet cereal - well we are on holiday I suppose. Blimey there were a lot of fatties eating breakfast...this is certainly not mainland China.

After breakfast we went for a longish walk towards the harbour in the heat and the rain that Hong Kong sometimes affords. While he was taking a few photos a couple of mainland girls came up to him to ask to take a photo with him - I was jealous! It wasn’t that long ago that would happen to me but he has stolen my thunder (well that is part of his Chinese name).

Looking over the harbour before he got accosted by women

We found a tube station and got an Octopus card though I keep calling it an Oyster card, and took the tube back one stop to the hotel. Lunch was simple noodles for Leilei and a sandwich for me from 7-11 as we were planning to see a Hong Kong-based mate tonight. I also managed a wee Skol and a tad of sleep before 4pm when I got up to check the news. I’d heard about the recent protests and it was Sunday, and then I saw what was happening. Apparently people were already setting up and it was around where we were due to meet up at Wanchai. In fact, according to some reports Wanchai was to be where the march would end. I IM’d my mate who seemed to think all the action was in Victoria Park so we should be ok.

Well I checked again and saw a tweet that didn’t fill me with such confidence, and he checked and found the MTR tube was filling up. Then I got a phone call and realised he’d realised the extent of the situation, and that even if we managed to meet up we’d be taken by the throngs of the crowd and wouldn’t have any say as to where we’d want to go. Not to mention I’d be responsible for a minor, and even if I wasn’t there were reports of bomb-making equipment having been found. We agreed to postpone till tomorrow. Relieved, I looked at some more news and it dawned on me this was taking place not much more than a mile away, but with a harbour between us.

With a little time on our hands Leilei and I took the MTR a few stops to Lok Fu to see the sight of Kowloon Walled City. It would have been great to explore before it was knocked down in the early 90s, but there are still a couple of places here with thin alleyways that feel seedy but safe. Leilei was in his element looking at the cars; the skirted vans, each one apparently unique, and a supercar every few minutes.

We walked through strange walkways in the general direction of the park, noting the different pathways for joggers, cylists, and walkers. Kowloon Walled City Park reminded me of something, and I wondered if it was where I went in 2008 to restart my visa. We had hoped to go to the old landing strip of Kai Tak airport, but they were busy building a new MTR station.

Strange walkways

We were in the area I had to stay with Xixi in 2008 and it brought back mixed emotions. We then took the MTR to Tsim Sha Tsui to see the lights from HK Island. It was far more packed than this morning, and loads of people were walking against our direction. As it was 8.15pm I guessed we’d just missed a fireworks display. Literally more than half the people were taking pictures of the anonymous lights on the other side of the river. At least put some people in them. I wonder if WeChat has a clever algorithm that finds these pictures and replaces them with a stock picture (that is actually better) and displays a copy of this instead of the hundreds of thousands of virtually identical ones. Like they may do for sunsets over the sea. Wouldn’t it be funny if they did? Like Google (reasonably) does to people’s uploaded MP3s.

Almost everyone was taking pictures of the lights with no human in them

One more stop up north to Jordan and we went to see the Temple Street Night Market, but it dawned on us that it was in fact the same place we went to last night. We’d planned to get a bite to eat there but Ll was tired and to be fair we’d walked over 20,000 steps today according to my phone, so as I still had a pack of noodles we went back and he had that, and had a shower while I went out to get a bite. 65 HKD for a bit of beef on rice was pretty pricey even for here, given the size of the place, but I didn’t complain, and ate it as quickly as possible as I was being asked why I was taking so long….

First night in Hong Kong with Leilei

Managed four hours’ sleep thanks to pillow so looking like a good investment so far though wonder if a cheaper one wouldn’t have been so good. It was interesting to see the plane landing from a camera underneath, and since we’d both managed over four hours’ sleep we weren’t complaining. We certainly didn’t complain when the luggage arrived on time (for the first time with Air France). Then the airport Express to Kowloon was only 15 quid for us both (take note Heathrow Express at 37 return when a single tube was 5.60). The free shuttle to Jordan was rather slow in the traffic that could have taken 5 minutes. Then the 10 minute walk in the rain with luggage that the girls wouldn’t have appreciated was ok. And that was that - we had arrived in our Hong Kong destination with no hassle whatsover.

I nearly forced Leilei to have a shower when he reasoned that if we were going out we might as well get one later. He was right, and I was acting as if Tan was there. So we walked out into the busy streets and probably found Temple Street night market, but I was keen to find somewhere to eat. I spoke Mandarin to the woman and she pretended not to understand...maybe it was my accent, or maybe she genuinely didn’t understand when I asked for goose. I relented and went back to English but she still didn’t understand what “goose” was. I said not to worry and ordered beef on rice, and Leilei ordered the dumplings and noodles in soup. He also seemed to recognise the characters for milk tea (奶茶) and ordered that, while I ordered a Qingdao.

When the woman returned with the drinks she asked me in Mandarin if I was trying to order er gou tou before, that sickening paint-stripper of a drink, and I said no I couldn’t abide such stuff, and why was she asking that anyway? Before it dawned on me that the “e” of goose and “rou” of meat must have sounded a little like the first and last words of the aforementioned drink. So I laughed and showed her the word for goose on my phone and then it clicked for her too. Oh yes we’re certainly back in the East now, and this is just the first step. Then, to Leilei’s his disgust he found the dumplings were not only vegetarian but also mostly filled with his most hated food - mushrooms. So after trying to get him to be more outgoing we basically swapped dishes and he did a good job despite the fact I’d already put hot chilli sauce on the rice. He enjoyed what he had and ate most of it, but I didn’t fancy the carby noodles, though for some reason the carby beer went down fine.

Back to China via CDG and Hong Kong 2019

I’m such a wally I should have taken two days off before we planned to leave. Leilei and I really wanted to take the train from Guangzhou to Pingguo and I suggested this to Tan and she came back with the realistic repost that if the plane arrived late what would you do? The trains get booked up weeks in advance. But Leilei really wanted to spend some time in Hong Kong and actually after the relatively smooth journey last year (well, stressless) I was happy to travel at a different time from the girls. So I’d booked them to fly out on the 23rd July and us boys on 19th as we saved over 300 quid on the air tickets although I knew the train tickets wouldn’t be free.

But what it did mean was that us boys could stay in Hong Kong for a couple of days and not worry about missing the train to Pingguo very much. Ok it did mean Leilei missing 1.5 days of school but I did email to explain and they were fine about it, plus I’d booked our Guangzhou to Pingguo tickets a few weeks before. I hadn’t expected such high hotel prices but due to work I had some points that paid 320 of the 340 quid it would have cost to stay in the Novotel on Nathan Road, near to the street markets that Leilei was keen to go to.

But that was the bookings. Now we had to actually get to the airport and annoyingly I had a meeting at 1pm when I’d hoped to be leaving at 2. So it was genuinely last minute. As we left the house to go to the train station I went for a last minute pee and found I’d forgotten my razor plus the interdental brushes I’d just got delivered from Amazon. I shudder to think what else I may have forgotten.

Anyway we rushed off to the station but Awl called to say he’d pick up our spare keys. He met us at Pitfold and we managed to get all our luggage into his little Yaris hybrid and that saved us three minutes and some stress getting to the station. Cheers Awl.

The trip to Heathrow T4 was not that bad but there were a few steps that would have made it awkward had we been with Tan and Xixi. But after a bit of sweating and choosing to take steps rather than wait for the lifts we got to the Piccadilly line and the 50 minutes flew by, and was definitely quicker than going to Paddington to take the Express, and 30 quid cheaper each.

We may have been 25 minutes early for the drop-off of luggage, and I was sorely tempted to go to the arrivals lounge for a bite to eat and drink, but we did the self-service baggage tags and when I asked the bloke how long we’d have to wait he said we could go along now and drop off at the VIP place. I’m glad I asked as we dropped them off good’n’quick and the gaggle of Chinese students only cottoned on after we'd done that.

Both of us enjoying some decent grub - makes the journey part of the adventure

Is that how much they really charge? Now I know it's worth it...

Security was fine except for me being an idiot and leaving the fourth laptop in a bag. That wasted 10 minutes but we were in very good time and we found the lounge after I bought some duty free presents for friends in Pingguo. I’m slightly sad that the kids have grown up for the last six years pretty much expecting lounge access. For me it’s still a luxury and I get a buzz every time we get accepted even though I’ve bloody paid for it…. I also know it pays for itself in so many ways, but this year was annoyed to get a fancy cardboard thing in the post telling me of the amazing new features (none of which apply to me) and in the small-print telling me the price has gone up by 125 quid. Why not save on the postage and up it by less, or at least give the option?

Anyway the short hop to Paris Charles de Gaulle was pretty much that and the short delay was made up for in the air. We probably had the time to have a quick drink in the lounge but thought better of it as the risk of missing the long flight was not worth thinking about. Annoyingly, after passport control we did have 50 minutes, and I wondered about going back to enjoy the lounge but thought better of it again. To my shame I hadn’t bought a neck pillow, and based on my recent experiences going to and from Egypt I wish I had. Now I was prisoner in an airport with the prospect of a 12 hour flight and all I could see were 30, 40, 60 Euro such neck pillows. I made a decision I may well regret. I paid a whole 40 Euro for one that could be squashed down to a fraction of its size....lord I hope I live to justify this decision...if only I’d done it on Amazon last week.

Leilei on the way to Paris

Gosh the mix of my noise-cancelling headphones and the neck thing did seem to help - I didn’t get through the first film and then after dinner I started playing “Who wants to be a Millionaire?” and after losing the first few rounds (well, making 32,000) I hit the jackpot!

I hit the jackpot, and probably no-one cares! Well I'll be in Hong Kong soon so there....

Thankfully Leilei and I were both so tired we didn’t need to make a fuss of things, and we both got to sleep for a little bit after about three hours. Hope it lasts.