For the first time here this year (which isn't really that long) I managed to wake up at 8.30am and pinged Nong. Surprisingly for a Guangxi person she got back to me a bit later to confirm she'd pick me up at 10am. So I managed to get myself to my flat. At least that was my intention. I was waiting at the last red light and all of a sudden I found myself 10' further forwards. It took me a few seconds to realise some idiotic bloke had rammed right into the back of me. "Mei shi mei shi!" he shouted from the floor...one hand clutching a cigarette and another his mobile phone. He was literally saying "no problem" while writhing on the road next to his stricken bike and I wasn't in the mood to argue as he looked physically ok and so did my bike. It's very uncommon to say something rude to someone here but I told him to use his eyes in the future before getting on and riding the 200 or so yards to my place.
I grabbed a wash and indeed Nong pinged at 9.45am to say she'd be there in 10 minutes. I had my coat, my charger, my tissues, and my phone, and reckoned that was all I'd need till 7pm when she'd said we'd be back in Pingguo. so at 9.55am I was in her car and we went to pick up her mum and an aunt, and spent the next hour driving up to Bangxu. It was quite enjoyable as we had a sensible conversation about all the languages people speak here, as I'd heard three of them in the last few minutes. Finally I think I understand: putonghua is Mandarin, which just about everyone speaks; Guiliuhua is a relative of Mandarin, but with different tones and and some vastly different pronunciations, which people of my age tend to speak with locals, and Zhuang hua is the local lingo which seems barely related and is spoken by the elder/older. On top of this many people also speak Bai hua, or Yue yu, or Guangdong hua (all basically Cantonese). So now I can finally more-or-less compartmentalise which language someone is speaking.
We got to Bangxu and Nong thought about stopping off at "jie shang", which is Tan's part of Bangxu, but we reasoned that it might not look good if people took pics of me there if we weren't staying there...what would Tan think? So we drove on another 10 minutes to Nong's cun (village), and then on to her mum's tun (group of houses within a village).
Wow, it was pretty pretty, and I realised I'd been taking in these green landscapes for granted for too long. Nong had mentioned that all the trees were green and it was January and then I learnt the words for deciduous and evergreen that I will definitely forget very soon. As it was nearly midday, and neither Nong nor I had eaten, some aunties cooked some soup for us for "breakfast" which was actually really nice, and then we went to drink tea in front of the mountains. Yet again, I realised I shouldn't take this for granted...how many opportunities does a Londoner get to drink tea in front of mountains?
Then Nong suggested going to go for a walk in a cave. Well I was up for this; I've done it a couple of times and it can be fun, if scary. So we ended up driving 10 minutes away with a couple of aunties till we came upon a place which was clearly touristy. Oh, it reminded me of the Bangxu caves we once went to 21 years ago which were raw and lovely, and then a couple of years later when they'd been touristified and were ridden with colourful lights and denied their natural beauty. But anyway Nong paid 320 kuai for the four of us and we entered and took a couple of photos at the designated photo place as you have to do, before going for a walk as it would be 20 minutes before the next scheduled "walk" through the caves.
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| Not destroying the rabbits while waiting... |
Well it took a couple of hours and we were with about 20 other people. It was "fun" in the sense that it was different but I argued with Nong that I saw other animals in the forms of the stalactites and stalagmites than the tour operator was telling us to see. At least I thought that meant I had imagination but she had a bit of a go at me for not agreeing...at least she saw the humour about it. The last hour comprised a boat trip going back during which I nearly capsized the thing as I was the last of nine to get on and thought it was stable. It was anything but. But I gingerly stepped into the only free seat which thankfully was in the middle and sat there the whole time just hoping not to drop into the freezing water with my phone and clothes in that order.
The hour took two in my mind, and wasn't so relaxing as it could have been had we not nearly capsized...but it was a great new experience in the end. Once back at Nong's hometown I insisted on paying the 320 kuai but she refused, saying it wasn't that often she could invite me anywhere...well that's not true but I appreciated the sentiment.
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| During the boat ride back through the caves...would have been cool if I wasn't worried about tipping over |
By now many people were preparing food. I wanted to help but knew I'd just get in the way, so found a couple of young boys lighting bangers. Oh, this is something dear to my heart...it reminds me of France in the 80s when that was a thing. They were dangerously lighting them and putting them in tin cans and the like and no parent was scolding them as though it wasn't dangerous. That meant it couldn't be dangerous for me right? Of course not! As soon as I walked over to them to join in one of them leapt into the house and brought back a few packs of bangers and mini Catherine wheels. I do declare for the next hour I had one of my favourite experiences (non-sexual) in China letting off scores of bangers and other fireworks until we were told to be quiet as some kids were sleeping. No worries, we just walked 50 yards down the lane and dropped the big bangers into the ditch that had water and watched them fire up. I was literally in my element (not in the classic sense of "literal" which I'm still angry about).
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| This has to be up with one of my top experiences...how can you go wrong with bangers? |
Finally we were called to eat at gone 5pm, and there was a massive spread. I'd already met many of the people in the tun, and I knew some were pissed. But I wasn't ready for how much drinking was to come in the next hour or so. I had to explain to many people that I was a Bangxu guye, and that Nong wasn't my wife, but it was pretty cool and I managed to eat for a good hour until I was really full. Unfortunately it looked like we wouldn't be leaving at 6pm, or 7pm, but I finally agreed with Nong to leave around 7.30pm as I'd arranged to meet up with Xiao Nong. However, it proved difficult to leave, having to ganbei with literally everyone there for the umpteenth time. Not that I was unhappy about it!
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| Cracking meal at Nong's hometown |
Well I was a bit, as Xiao Nong had had to go to pick up her kids, so I instead I got in contact with A Wu, who told me to meet up at the place I'd been to a couple of times in the past. A Zhu's? Anyway I got there and there were quite a few people, so I sat down and joined in as you do. This is the way life should be. So I said goodnight to her and drove the 6 minutes to where A Wu and his family were and ended up playing mo pai for a while even though I still don't really understand the rules.
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| Playing mo pai with A Wu and family/friends |
Li Kun pinged me a bit later to say he was going for a drink at 3000° and I said I'd meet him in a bit. A "bit" for once met like an English "bit"; he was there by himself when I got there a few minutes later. This is almost unheard of here; I've never turned up to find only the host by themselves. But we had a couple of bottles and I mentioned I'd been to Nong's hometown so we contacted her and a few minutes later she turned up, along with a load of oysters that hadn't been eaten earlier in the day. No problem, she gave the bag to the pretty boss (I've known her for years) and asked her to cook them). 15 minutes later we had a stack of oysters on our table. The boss joined us for a couple of drinks, and I told her I was sorry if I was a bit drunk in August 2023 (which I was) to which she just waved it off and made me ganbei as you do.
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| Late bite with Li Kun and Nong...to be regurgitated later |
All in all it was a very pleasant evening and we left around 2am. But once home, despite not opening a beer, I had a weird feeling in my stomach. Two minutes later I was retching in the toilet and all of those oysters came up. I'd like to think it was just the oysters but quite honestly it could be a combination of that plus beers for the last x weeks.
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