Sleep, Incense, Huang Lei, Wu ge's birthday, Li Kun bar...

Although I awoke at 11am I managed another 30 minutes' shuteye in the comfortable hotel bed, before it dawned on me I was really back in Pingguo! After a shower I checked out 15 minutes late, not that they care a jot. Actually, the Trip app did say I had late checkout but I never actually checked how late that would be. I walked home and lunch was yesterday's leftovers with supplements and yoghurt I'd left in the fridge a couple of weeks ago. I thought at first they may be out of date but recalled that the 4th December must be the date of creation (not in the holy sense) rather than the best-before date, and took a chance.

Soon after I'd eaten, Chuan Chuan pinged me to ask if I'd come back to Pingguo, by which she meant someone had told her I'd come back and of course she knew. But the reason she messaged me was nice and unexpected; she asked me to burn some incense for Waipo. This I did of course, and bowed three times even though there was no-one there to witness. I also sent a picture to show that I'd understood and done it. I asked if she'd be coming to Pingguo and she said probably for New Year so I told her we'd go for a drink as I won't be able to make it for her wedding in early May.

Burning incense for Waipo and her husband

Huang Lei pinged me to eat at the "2nd floor" where we'd eaten a couple of times in the past, most recently 3 weeks ago for his wife's birthday. I didn't ask the occasion but said I should be able to make it. Then I may have had a beer or two as somehow, I lay down and managed to doze for 90 minutes so I must have needed it.

I got up soon after 6pm and realised I wouldn't have time to shower before going to meet Huang Lei so just got my stuff together. Of course he called me to ask where I was so I told him 2 minutes and found the place but couldn't find any shop selling fruit but instead happened upon Huang Lei himself who presumably had come downstairs to find me. So I went up empty-handed but it was cool...some other bloke turned up also empty-handed and in fact I don't think anyone brought any fruit. It was just blokes, and we were arranged in groups around the table in terms of what we were drinking. Huang Lei, A Ning, and a couple of other blokes were on the 53% baijiu, two or three blokes were on the 22% baijiu, and then another bloke and me were on the 3% beers. Fair enough, it meant pouring your neighbour's (or neighbours') drink more practical.

About to eat a hearty huoguo at the 2nd floor

It was a fine meal and everything except some fish was raw as there was a huoguo in the middle of the table, as is quite usual for the winter. And to be fair it was pretty cold and I kept my coat on for the first hour or so. Then, around 9.30pm Wu ge called me to go to A Hoc's place where I was last night so I said I'd be there shortly. Shortly being nearly an hour later when he called again. But it's quite normal here...already three other blokes had turned up during the meal, and one had already left. So I made my excuses and drove over to A Hoc's fried chicken place again.

Wu ge's and another bloke's birthday meal

Traditional Guangxi drinking song?

Well I recognised A Hoc and Wu ge but not the others. It transpired it was Wu ge's and some other bloke's birthday, so after a bite to eat a cake arrived and they had the tradition of smearing some of the cream onto the birthday boys' foreheads. The token woman had clearly had a few, and broke into a song which was probably a traditional Guangxi drinking song rather than a birthday song. Ma Yong had messaged me to ask where I was but I'd not got back to him. He said he was at Li Kun's drinking "tea" so a bit later I made my excuses again and went over there.

But Li Kun wasn't there. Rather, he sent a dingwei to show that he was at a bar at the football stadium. So Ma Yong and I drove over there at midnight. I suddenly realised I was flaking and didn't even manage to stay a whole hour, and somehow managed to get home and was asleep not long after 1.15am for a change.

Final destination of the night...

Dog and Mouse

Tan had said it wasn't really appropriate for me to stay in Waipo's house as she (Tan) has recently fallen out with Jiuma about paying the bills. I don't understand the details but last night I came back here without thinking about it as it was so late. So when I woke up to a phone call from a friend I found I'd had nearly 5 hours' sleep which wasn't too bad for a first night. Now I remembered about the house and decided to book a hotel for a night to give me time to sort out lodgings for the next month. I had had a conversation with a friend of Zhang Hua's in the summer who said she could sort out some sort of hotel room where it's not serviced and you only pay 800 kuai a month but I have my suspicions.

Luckily, before 9am they had a room for me and oh those beds are so much more comfortable than the normal ones in Chinese houses. I considered trying to get some more sleep but ended up getting a shower and feeling very refreshed, so I did some exercise till lunchtime and felt much the better for it. I ended up getting some xiaolongbao and nuomi rice things which were better than expected as I'd not had breakfast. I took them back to the hotel and unguiltily washed them down with a beer or two. I managed to do a bit more exercise before realising I'd better get some kip even though I'd not been invited out anywhere this evening, probably because I've so far only let a handful of people know I've come back (though word will get around).

It took till 4pm to get to sleep according to my watch and app, and I was woken at 8pm to Huang Lei calling me. I missed his call but texted him I'd get back, and he replied with a picture of the dog meat he was eating together with A Hoc and mates. Indeed A Hoc had also sent me a message to come over. It took me over an hour to get things sorted but eventually I turned up to the place I'd been on my last night two weeks ago. I wasn't quite sure where it was though, so video-called Huang Lei who was on his bike with his younger son who he was taking back to shower. Damn, I'd missed him, but maybe he'd come back. Anyway, pointed me to the place I thought I remembered but there were just two blokes sitting there I didn't recognise, but then A Hoc jumped out of the kitchen area and bade me sit down with them.

Best dog meat I've tried

I keep promising myself this will be the last time I eat dog, but I'd not had any tea and was really hungry, and it was the only thing on the table other than greens. But A Hoc had cooked it perfectly and there wasn't loads of tough skin and broken bones as per usual. As the others had had their fill and gorged on the lovely stuff and commented it was the best dog I'd ever eaten. I was the only beer drinker of course and they got out a crate of non-chilled Snowflake bottles for me, and I'd barely got through one bottle when A Hoc challenged me to caima for the first time this year.

Dog and Mouse - it almost sounds like the name of a pub

A bit later Wu ge called me to invite himself over. He must have seen one of the films A Hoc had shared of me playing caima, and he knew A Hoc as he'd been at that meal with him on my last night last year a couple of weeks ago. So when he asked if he could come over I said that A Hoc said "no!", which the blokes found funnier than it really was. Of course he could come over, and indeed not 10 minutes later he was sitting with us, already a tad for the worse, but it was good to be with another friend.

After a bit, A Hoc disappeared to the kitchen again to make another dish, and a bit later came back with a mouse dish. I really tried to understand if he really meant rat, but he was convincing while describing it as only being 2-3 inches long, so he was probably right. So I guess that's another animal ticked off, not that I'm keeping a spreadsheet for this. And yes, I managed to pick up a tiny paw but didn't really want to put it in my mouth. A Hoc asked if I could manage a crate of 12 beers and I said quite honestly maybe in the past but not now. I'd got through 5 of them by now and was bloated, so I made my excuses and left a bit later.

I wasn't sure the dian dong che would make it back as I'd planned to charge it up while I was charging up myself in the hotel but never got round to it. On the way home I passed by Li Kun's office and saw the light was on. He was there with the small man, so I stopped for a couple of beers as you do. Li Kun was working on a piece of music using FL studio, but I knew he wanted to use the pro version of Suno. Last week, from the UK, I'd sent him the APK of Mullvad, which he'd installed and got working as all his other VPNs no longer worked. He was so happy when he successfully connected, and I was glad they allowed 5 devices as I saw he'd also installed it on his desktop so that's 4/5 used up. He'd managed to register a Google account and use that to log in to Suno. Last week he had to use my UK number to send an SMS but now he'd managed to create a Google account and was able to get the SMS sent to his Chinese number, which was lucky as I didn't want to have to keep swapping SIMs every time he wanted to log in. But in order to upgrade to pro he'd need to pay $10 a month which is fair enough but they didn't accept his Chinese bank cards. Of course I offered but I didn't have my cards on me so we said 改天 (another day) as you do. I'm more than happy to pay $10 a month for this, given the amount of time I spend here.

We then sat down to a few more beers and a chat and I finally left before 1.30am as the UK lads were starting a Zoom call. I just managed to get home and plug in the dian dong che before grabbing a change of socks from the house and walking to the hotel while chatting with them. Although it was nearly 2am we ended up chatting till about 4am when I crashed out.

Back in Pingguo yet yet again

I've been blessed with relatively smooth flights over the last 20 months or so going to and from China, but bloody hell those last 40 minutes or so going through the clouds o'er the mountains west of Beijing were pretty hairy and droppy, even causing some screams from a couple of people. I held tightly to the left armrest, knowing the protocol that the middle seat has priority over both their armrests, and did my best to sink into my seat. It was very uncomfortable but probably only lasted 30 seconds. But it then started again but I dealt with it better than the time I was arriving in Bangkok in a storm when I grabbed the knee of the woman who was sitting to my left.

The last few minutes were ok

But the last 15 minutes were ok and we arrived more-or-less on time, meaning I had 2 hours to make my connection. I wasn't too worried as I figured they'd put me on the later flight to Nanning as I took a month ago, but wanted to be in Pingguo around 11pm so as to catch up with Li Kun, who is one of the few people I've told I was coming back so soon.

At least I knew what to expect...the luggage (baggage) should go straight through, and I'd made the excellent decision of taking a spare entry document with me back home on the last visit, and I'd filled it in during the flight, so didn't have to waste 10 minutes after landing. They used to give you these in the flights themselves and I remember spending the best part of an hour filling them in for me and the kids, mainly because I insisted on writing our address in Chinese. But it meant that once I'd scanned my passport I instantly got a receipt as I'd already done my fingerprints, and I waltzed pass the foreigners filling in their entry forms, only to be stopped by security before immigration. The bloke said in broken English that I needed to fill in an entry form. I pulled out my passport and showed him it was already done and felt very smug.

It was only a 5 minute or so queue for immigration and the lady who did me commented on my Chinese name, and I confirmed how to say it, and then for the first time ever in such a place she said I spoke very good Mandarin! Of course I said "nali" which is a way of playing down compliments, but after doing fingerprints to confirm they were the same as they had on record, and a facial scan for the same thing, I was officially in China again!

But of course that meant doing security again. I keep forgetting when they do proper security. I think last time it must have been between the domestic and international flight that they didn't do it. So it meant dumping the three cans of tonic I'd appropriated from the Heathrow T4 lounge and was hoping to appreciate in Pingguo with friends, and then annoyingly my laptop bag didn't pass security. Why? Apparently because it had the laptop charger inside, which they never tell you to take out. I didn't need this with so little time to get my flight, but I took it out and they re-scanned it and it failed again. Jeez...I waited my turn and said this was the second time but this time after a quick glance at the screen they seemed happy to let it go.

By now it was 4.25pm and the flight was due to leave at 5.25pm and knowing China they'd be boarding pretty soon. So I made a beeline for the China Southern lounge with was annoyingly at the other side of the terminal from my flight. But I was determined to get something out of it. The poor woman took an age with the Amex platinum card but Priority Pass wasn't an option it seemed. Eventually she managed to input my name and it accepted, and I saw a selection of drinks, only one of which was beer, and warm to boot. So I asked the attendant if they had cold drinks and she led me to a fridge where she pointed out the beer. May I have two? Of course, so I found a seat and chugged on while putting the other in my bag. The flight still said "go to gate" rather than "boarding", so I braved another two, chugging and saving respectively, before the inevitable "boarding" came up.

Quick beer while transferring

By the time I got to the gate under 10 minutes later it was of course "final call" but at least there was still a queue. But I reckoned it would be too risky going for a wee now. Once on the plane I found despite being in row 34, it was actually the fourth row after the two business class rows, and there were no toilets in the front. So I had to walk all the way to the back which took a couple of minutes with all the people still putting up their hand luggage. What a relief though! I was grateful they served beer with the meal, and I only made one more toilet trip in the whole of the 3h10m flight, even though I enjoyed one of the beers I took from the lounge.

Flying still amazes me

Despite some turbulence it could have been a lot worse, and we arrived within 2 minutes of schedule. I called the driver and he said he was on his way. Luckily this time my hold luggage was one of the first out so by 9.30 I was back on my way to Pingguo. Not before picking up some other bloke though. I had my second lounge-takeaway on the journey as I knew Li Kun and friends would be drinking already, and before 11.30pm I was at his office and it was like I'd never been away.

Back at Li Kun's studio!

And to be fair it had been all of 17 days, as Ma Yong had calculated. Possibly the shortest gap between trips to the motherland. We drank and chatted till gone 2am when I was really flagging, and as last time, Li Kun got me a didi che back home where it was all I could do to dump my suitcases, open a beer, and promptly fall asleep, happy I was back home.

Another lastish-minute decision to go back for what really will be the last time in a long time

Whoops I did it again. Another last-minute decision as this time it would surely be the last time for who knows who long? The kids want to go to other countries and assuming I'm working I won't likely have the opportunity to come again. That's pretty logical but I knew it wouldn't fly in Tan's mind and despite having actually booked the tickets 3 days ago on the 4th I still hadn't told her as I feared the consequences.

Xixi was cool about it when she got back from school, partly as she knew I'd be able to bring her back a load of fake Taobao stuff. But Tan was still at the gym and I needed to leave for the airport. I thought I'd just send a message but as "luck" would have it as I got to the end of our road there she was on the way back from the gym. Of course she asked what I was doing and I reminded her of a conversation we had had earlier that day. She literally encouraged me to have a personal trainer and said I should do so in Pingguo as she had. Well I didn't tell her I'd booked the tickets 3 days ago but did say I'd taken her advice and would get a personal trainer in Pingguo. She didn't take too kindly to this but I said I had a train to catch and would be back in about 4 weeks.

It was probably actually better that way as at least I got to tell her face-to-face. Then it was up to the Lizzie line to get the same flight I'd taken barely a month ago to Beijing Daxing, except this time I'd somehow ordered the ongoing flight to Nanning for 2 hours after we were due to arrive, giving me precious little time to do immigration, let alone lounge.

But after 30 minutes queueing for baggage drop-off (30 minutes more than a month ago) and 20 minutes in security where I was one of the few to pass all my bags, it was off to pick up duty-free for Li Kun and whoever else, then to the Plaza Premium lounge where they let you pour your own drinks. I rather like T4. I had a bit more time this time so enjoyed a meal with my drinks and remembered I'd better arrange a lift from the airport, so I sent a message to the bloke who drove me to Nanning a couple of weeks ago. To my surprise he got back to me at 8.30pm, even though it was 4.30am his time. I confirmed my flight would arrive tomorrow (Wednesday) at 9pm, and he got back to me to say that meant this evening. I said no, tomorrow, before realising it was today for him so acknowledged my mistake and we had a laugh about it. So for the first time I'd arranged travel to Pingguo by myself (outside of taking trains).

Cheers

I grabbed a last drink and left at the "final boarding" call as per usual. Of course I was one of the last on board but no-one checked the weight of my carry-on luggage and there was enough space above for it. No spare seats to lie down on though so it was a cocktail of melatonin and Phenergan (that I'd bought for the first time in over a year a few minutes prior to boarding), and soon after the meal I was dozing over Ocean's 13 which was very boring and really just an excuse for good-looking men to show off. Not that I was jealous...