Finally Going Back from Hong Kong

I hadn’t had much sleep but I didn’t forget to pick up Tan’s suitcase of clothes and various dried medicines. It was mid-morning and my flight to Europe was leaving soon after midday.

This time I was told I had access to some special lounge so went there and gosh it really was a special experience. Normally just having nice drinks and good wifi is all you can experience from a lounge but this one was streets ahead.

I’d brought spare undies, which was a good thing as I went for a magical shower (after a 9h30 flight any shower is magical) and despite my lack of sleep from Melbourne, felt great. I had a couple of nice decaf coffees, but felt it rude not to partake of a G&T before I left, but made sure it was after opening hours somewhere. But that was all I took.

I was in the top deck of what I think was an Airbus A380, and was for the second time in my life treated to an experience I didn’t really want to waste by sleeping. But after hardly noticing taking off, having a lovely meal, and watching some ok Brazilian film to a cognac or two I dozed off….

It was bliss to wake up with under four hours to go. The Dutch bloke closest to me who’d also slept woke up and ordered vodka and apple juice about three times. I felt superior and had but orange juice. Actually I think I may have had one more G&T for good measure.

And then we were in Amsterdam. Boring. And I didn’t even care for more drinks in the lounge as I waited for my short haul to Heathrow. A decision I instantly regretted as soon as in the air. But hey I was still “business” so got a white wine before landing close to home. And it hit me I’d been both privileged, yet polarised from family. Going to Pingguo was both the highlight and the lowlight this year, and I don’t want to go alone again. But I’m missing it already….

Blooming Australia

So much for Australia. I found my way to the office around midday but found nothing to eat. I  had a quick meeting with some woman who was on such another wavelength I didn’t even bother with. Then she was gone, and the only people left were drinking beers and as much as I’d like to have joined them I felt as far away as if I were back home. And that was what I was hankering for. But my flight wasn’t till midnight and I had heavy luggage with me.

So I stayed at the office till it was too late to get out and I had to ask a cleaner to get my to the lifts (or probably they call them elevators here). I thought I’d treat myself to a decent meal and found the most expensive place within walking distance. Great. I turned up and it was filled with rich and happy people 10 years younger than me, but I thought “sod it” and went in and asked for a table for one. I would have been a lot happier in a corner but I was thrust into the middle of the bustling place, for all to see I was a loner. At least if I had been David Mitchell I could have written a great three-minute soap box piece on this but I just didn’t have the talent or energy.

So I geeked. The female servers were lovely to be fair - as if they could sense my situation and so called me “darling” (or is that just Australian). But I read stories and comments from fark.com on Opera Mini browser (in order to save some data). I would have swapped my $40 Steak for a $3 hamburger and some company though, or even lack of, given where I was. After the meal I asked for a decaffeinated Irish coffee and the young lady was embarrassed to say they were out of decaf. Instead she brought me a compensatory armagnac of proportion to get me to the airport.

And so I got the cab, went to the airport, got there and maybe had a glass or deux of rouge, and had a thankfully boring flight back to Hong Kong.

Ok Flight to Shenzhen, Bad Flight from HK.

Luckily I wasn’t back at stupid’o’clock last night, and because I’d cleaned up there wasn’t too much to do in the morning. I left the clean fridge door open (unlike last year) and just accepted the fact that the dust would return before us.

I did pop into the local supermarket and get just a little bottle of the local “Finnish” v and poured some into carryons for the journey ahead. A Wu came in time and I suppose due to the fact that I’d not been here for a couple of months with the family, it didn’t seem that hard to leave. But it did nevertheless conjure up some sad emotions to be leaving what many may consider a nondescript apartment in a smallish rural town that almost no-one has heard of. But it has been around 15% of my life in the last 12 years so that was the significance.

The drive to Nanning was more dangerous than the flight as you can see

Statistically the drive to Nanning was more dangerous than the flight to Shenzhen but my warped brain didn’t make it feel so. A Wu’s and my goodbyes were as brotherly as any, and I think we were both genuinely rather sad. But a few pictures later I was in the lounge and he was gone, but for a couple of phone calls later on.

Saying goodbye to AWu outside the lounge

I didn’t feel too guilty adding some carryon v to the sugary shui bi (7-Up) even though it was not quite the afternoon. I tried to reason that it was another time in Europe but in fact it was 5am so didn’t really excuse the booze.

The flight to Shenzhen, possibly because of the medication, was fine. Meeting Ma Si’s mates in the car park afterwards was also ok thanks to mobile phones. But that’s where it became quite Chinese. I could have easily got a bus to Hong Kong from the airport, and indeed have done with the family a couple of times, but the two blokes I met and their lovely new white BMW decided they knew a better way.

To cut a much longer story than I wanted short, they eventually found a place where there were Hong Kong taxis to drive you to the airport at much more expense than my original boat would have been. Plus we were with other mainland Chinese, each of whom was interrogated by the border police. In the end I did get to Hong Kong airport but with only a couple of hours before my Australia flight - two hours later than had I taken the boat by myself.

Two hours before a flight would normally be a good thing, but after I’d put all the ginseng and various clothes away in the stored luggage (I was only due to be in Australia for a day and a half) it was close to boarding time. I went to check in to be told I needed a bloody visa. British people going to Australia need a visa? Well yes apparently so, not that anyone had told me, so I rushed to another part of the airport and was luckily able to buy one for 40 quid, after which they let me check in.

I do admit to slightly hustling to the lounge for the 7pmish flight in order to liquidate the effects of any turbulence. I quaffed probably the quickest four smallish Skols I had ever done before before hustling to the gate that had been called during my second. Despite my wee near the gate by the time I got on the plane I needed to go again but as I was about the last one on board I didn’t have time. It would have been less rushed if I'd been allowed to take something on with me to imbibe but I found out in Duty Free that Australia has special rules; they wouldn't let me buy a half bottle when I showed them my boarding pass and as annoyed as I was, I found out why when actually boarding - they have their own security just before you get on board, including checking for liquids. Why they couldn't just seal up the bag like they do for other flights? I don't know but you don't argue these things.

Gosh it does seem sometimes that the blooming seat belt light takes an age to go out, but as soon as it did I didn’t complain about my near back-of-the-aircraft seat as I was able to get to the loo without a queue. Ahhh. Then I started to relax...the flight was calm, I was sitting next to an elderly Chinese woman with whom I was having a gentle conversation, and I ordered a nice red wine. I was contemplating sleep.

The the captain talked on the tannoy: some of you may have noticed that we are travelling at 20,000 feet. This is because one of our engines is experiencing a lack of oil pressure. I’m sorry to have to tell you we will need to go back to Hong Kong to change planes.

Bugger, I didn’t need this. I went for a last wee, and on the way back asked if I could have a red wine refill. I was told no as they were preparing for landing. Thankfully my elderly Chinese co-traveller had ordered a red wine she no longer had any interested in, and was happy for me to appropriate it, which I did obligingly.

It did not help to be told that the landing would take longer than usual to stop, due basically to one of the engines not working. But I managed a sense of calm dictated mainly by the fact I knew there was nothing I could do (and to the glass of rouge from my co-traveller). In the end we landed in a manner I couldn’t differentiate from any other, for which I was rather grateful.

It was a five hour delay in the end. Normally this would not be a big deal but in this case it was as I was involved literally in a big deal. But it was out of my hands, so I found myself back in a different lounge which was pretty busy. I didn’t mind that you had to pay for anything above beer, and served myself some pretty decent food. But after my second beer I found myself nodding off in a way that wasn’t sleep-inducing, and realised I’d been up for 20+ hours with a not great flying experience in between.

We finally left some time after midnight and I was awake enough to have a meal, but also tired enough to get some sleep on the 9h30 flight. When I arrived, for my first time in Australia, I was singled out to be searched. Thankfully all the dried tea and ginseng and stuff from A Xia I’d left in Hong Kong airport, but still the bloke rifled through everything I had. Fair enough, he was just doing his job. We talked about football but during this the Aussie sales guys were trying to call me to ask where the f**k I was as the meeting was starting...WTF could I do about it? After being given the all-clear I went to the bogs to change into business attire, then grabbed a taxi and got to the sales meeting 20 minutes late. But I got the job done. Then, to my surprise, my colleagues got their taxis to the airport to go home to Sydney, leaving me to spend a night in Melbourne as I’d been told I’d be needed for two days.

So there was me, stood outside a prospect’s office, abandoned by my colleagues, freezing in just a shirt in the Australian winter, waiting for a cab that eventually arrived where I found out I was half an hour from the hotel I was told was crap anyway.

And it was. But with the lack of sleep I was grateful for a hot meal and a glass of rouge. I even opened the full bottle in the room and managed a couple of glasses before the arms of Morpheus strangled my Pommy body and dragged me to the land of nod. At least for a couple of hours. I’d been told I should go to the Melbourne office tomorrow but given the fact I’d been abandoned yesterday afternoon I thought “screw you” and in my awakeness had another glass of rouge as I had no-one to talk to and just wanted to get home. I managed to sleep again not so long after.

Last Night in Pingguo for the Twelfth Time or so...

I had originally planned to go to Nanning tonight in order to be close to the airport for my 12.40 flight on 2nd September, based on recent stressful experiences with And and Awl not knowing when we’d get through the Nanning traffic as we were always picking up/dropping off someone else. But it seemed too much of a waste of Pingguo time, and I’d been offered a lift by A Wu and Lin Hong for tomorrow anyway so I thought I’d take the risk and have an extra night here.

For some reason “breakfast” was with A Wu and some people from China Mobile, in a building not far from the university. It consisted of no food or drink but A Wu had declared it breakfast so that it must have been.

We invited these people for lunch but none turned up, rather a couple of colleagues did, but no beer did which I could have done with, it being my last day and all. After lunch A Wu and I went back to his office but I said I had a matter to attend to, which I’ve learnt after many years is the standard way of excusing yourself.

As I left A Wu’s office Lin Hong called me to say she would sort out the water in the house but I said not to bother. But then she said she was already at our house. As I was across the road I went to meet her but too late she’d already paid for the water and whatever else. Anyway I went and finished tidying up the place after which it finally felt like a proper home again. It felt quite cathartic despite the fact it was my last full day here.

I still hankered after a tinkle on a piano so went out in the mid-afternoon scorch to look for a place. I finally managed to find one I’d frequented last year only to find it was supposed to open at 3pm and it was already 3.30pm and I didn’t think waiting under the beating sun would help speed things up. So I thought “sod it” and went to A Xia’s where I knew I needed to pick up a year’s supply of ginseng and something else. It thoughtfully started to rain just as I called A Xia, but I went there anyway as I didn’t have much choice. 1100 kuai poorer and 4kg heavier in luggage terms I had Tan’s stuff. Well that’s buggered the packing. What will have to go? Tan’s ginseng, Tan’s clothes, or something of mine? Well I didn’t need so many clothes anyway - who needs more than two shirts?

I had to go to the bank to pay A Xia, and thought I’d also need to pay for red envelopes for A Wu’s and Ling Ming’s new babies. That would set me back a fair whack so I took out 3000 and hoped it would be the last time for a long time. But tradition is tradition and I’m quite glad I was able to give the red envelopes in Tan’s absence.

Back at Waipo’s house she was asking me about the microwave. Apparently it was broken but I had no time or inclination to fix it. I suggested I could bring the one from our house but remembered someone had appropriated it already in our absence (not that we ever really used it). So I offered to buy one but she would not hear of it and I was secretly glad, not because of the expense, but more the time and effort getting it around.

I had asked my mates to come to the Beihai seafood place for my traditional last supper, and as usual nearly all said they could come. Now I had three hours to kill so I could relax. Until suddenly I remembered Tan’s red trousers that I’d left at the market to be adjusted. Shit - it was 6.15pm and they’d be closed! I hurried off on the dian dong che and arrived to a half closed door but with no-one in. Some little kid came scraping around and I asked where his mum was and he pointed to another closed shop a few yards away where a few women were eating outside on tiny stools. One of them was the owner and she went to get the trousers - phew.

Then, before I could do anything else Haiwei called demanding my presence at a meal as it was someone’s birthday. Well actually I could make it so I thought “why not?”, a thought that hasn’t always produced the best results but doing nothing for an hour or so on one’s last night was not really forgivable. I arrived at the place at the other end of town, near where A Wu used to live a few years ago, and climbed up to the third floor where I found Haiwei and his wife and sons, together with a rather redly inebriated Lou Lan. That’s what people call Nong Kaicheng’s dad anyway, but actually it means something like “alcohol addict” literally, though I suppose in a humorous way. There were a couple of other blokes too and by the number of empty cans I got a good idea of the situation.

We had a good time actually and I allowed myself to eat and drink a little and of course cai ma. But at about 8pm I got a call from Ma Si, the bloke with the BMW X6 and the land outside Pingguo with the wonderful tea. I’d invited him tonight but didn’t expect it when he said he was already at the Beihai seafood place.

I made my excuses to Haiwei and said I would see him soon, as I didn’t want to keep one of the richest people I knew waiting. Actually I shouldn’t have minded so much but thought maybe I’d told him 8pm instead of 9. I rushed as fast as the electrons would carry me and arrived at the seafood place under 10 minutes later. Ma Si was standing outside his X6 with a piece of paper in his hand. I apologised about the time and he really didn’t give a monkey’s. In fact the only reason he’d come was to give me the number of a couple of mates in Shenzhen, who would come and meet me at the airport to take me to Hong Kong in their car.

Well this was very kind of him, so I asked if he would sit down and have a beer or a bite but he said he couldn’t as he had a matter to attend to. Fair enough - someone in his position probably does. I was actually quite looking forward to sorting my journey to HK tomorrow but sod it - it will give me some company.

Well I was there now - at the Beihai food place nearly an hour before I expected others, but at least my friend, the Japanese-hating-but-otherwise-nice-bloke who owns the place, and he joined me for a beer. I sent out some messages to let people know I was already here and it wasn’t long before they started arriving.

A Ni and a female colleague of hers at our meal - yes ladies were allowed!

Saying goodbye to one of my favourite Pingguo pals - Jiefu (A Wu's eldest daughter's husband)

And it never fails to be a great evening. Food was ordered, beer was a-flowing, and more importantly the company was there...Li Kun, Uncle Yellow, A Wu and Haiwei, Jiefu and more...only Ling Ming couldn’t make it due to baby commitments. When I finally settled the bill at gone midnight it was only 900 kuai, peanuts for feeding and oiling so many of us.

That was it - I went back to our lonely house after a last ride around Pingguo. But at least it was clean.