Waking Up Alone in Pingguo

I woke up to a headache and a ⅘ full glass of Skol beer at around 8am. I lingered for a bit dropping in and out of sleep. It wasn't like normal when you have jet lag after a long journey. Rather it was just empty without family.

Ling Ming’s wife, Xiao Nong, messaged me around 10am to invite me to theirs for dinner tonight, and once I accepted told me not to stand them up. Well that was the early evening meal sorted, and important as I wanted to see Ling Ming and their six month old son.

But I also needed to see Waipo, so IM’d Chuan Chuan to see if it was ok to come around for lunch. Of course it was, and I was to come round for midday. So I had nearly two hours. I looked around and found the two glasses of water I’d made by boiling tap water in the kettle in the hope that they’d become potable (as I do in hotels). Judging by the slight film on top they were not as potable as I would have liked. Had I been drinking Stella or wine or something else last night I’d be gagging for a pint of water now but as it had been 3.1% Li Quans I was quite ok except for a slight headache, so took an ibuprofen washed down with what was left from the water bottle from Hong Kong Airlines, NOT the undrunken Skol.

Outside it was raining cats and dogs, and I barely needed the air-con so turned it off. Unfortunately even though I’d remembered to turn the hot water on, none came out of the taps. It seems there was a blockage. I was in dire need of a shower, not having taken one for 24 hours, so bravely put it to as low power as I could muster and had a semi shower that I would call cold but some may call room temperature. Well I got the soap out of my hair and body but that was all I could manage. It was horrible and I suppose I just have to accept I am sensitive to non-warm water.

Chuan Chuan called at 11.30 to say I should come now as the food was already ready. Actually, due to my short shower I was pretty much ready, so found some boxer shorts from last year and some other clean clothes and walked over to Waipo’s. I didn’t feel like I was in a foreign country. It reminded me of driving into France after having driven through most of Western Europe with Mat in the late 90s. I’ve been here so many times it just did feel like home. Possibly the most home-feeling part about it was not thinking about taking pictures all the time.

And when I arrived at Waipo’s it was similar. She seemed to be accepting of my hug of her bony body, and talked to me about normal stuff during the meal, saying she was so sad Leilei and Xixi weren’t here, and asking how they were doing. I could only explain that I was just here because I happened to be in Hong Kong on business, but couldn't not visit as I was so close.

I was keen to get back on our dian dong che to feel the freedom of Pingguo, and Chuan Chuan gave me its keys. Then she explained that it was a completely different vehicle as the last one broke down and had to be replaced (as it was within one year of purchase date). She (or someone) had chosen the new one, which was black, and quite a bit bigger than the last. I would rather have been consulted about this, but I have to admit the new beast is quite nice. It needs some stickers to make it more personalised though - I’ll leave that to Leilei and Xixi next time.

Our new dian dong che

Two of the things I need to do as soon as I get to Pingguo are replace the necklace of my jade pig and report myself to the police, and not in that order. As we’d finished lunch by midday, and I had the dian dong che’s keys in my hand, I thought I’d take it out and search for the police place to declare myself. Well the dian dong che told me it had six bars of battery, and it looked like a limit of 45 km to go. Better than the last one!

But try as I might I couldn’t find the bloody police place. I knew it wasn’t by the river, like two years ago, or by the guang chang, like four years ago. It was somewhere I went with Uncle Yellow in his car last year. So I rang him and he told me the address, which meant as much as saying it in Russian as I still don’t know where any roads are here except for our own and the one that has the bbq. But he did text it at least so I could ask others.

I ended up going to the police station at the guang chang as I couldn’t find the new place. But it was closed till 2.30 so I called Li Kun to arrange to meet to drink tea. But as soon as I’d done that A Xia called me to go to pick up a load of clothes for Tan. As I wasn’t sure how long A Xia would be there, I first went to hers to get the clothes and as soon as I arrived it  started raining. I stayed for a bit with her and her son and drank some hot water and ginger. It was really hot and strong, and felt good, so asked for a second cup. Then A Xia brought out Tan’s clothes. Oh no! How would I fit that many into my luggage?

A Xia's son is growing up...

I’d let Li Kun know I’d be delayed due to wife’s clothes and rain that would potentially ruin them, and make me wet. But I eventually got there and we had a laugh about stuff and looked at a video of the Renault Zoe that I hope to be getting soon. It’s funny that while electric bikes are all the rage here, there doesn’t appear to be a single electric car. I suppose this is because the infrastructural changes are significant, whereas you can plug a bike into a normal domestic plug overnight and it is completely charged by the morning.

After copious cups of tea at Li Kun’s I decided it was time to report myself to the police, and thus become a legal resident for all of the six days I would be here. Uncle Yellow had told me where the police station was and Li Kun found it on the map for me so it should have been very easy to find. It took ages in the end and I even asked the doctor who does Tan’s and A Xia’s backs the way. All of them pointed in the same direction, which was fruitless so I went back to the guangchang police place again, and a woman there told me quite simply how to go there. I found it 5 mins later.

Typically they didn’t know what to do until they called someone. That someone happened to be someone I met last night but I didn’t have very clear recollections of him until I asked him to add me to WeChat and he told me he did that last night with me. Whoops. I then remembered there was only one person who added me last night (I think) so it must have been him. Then we found the woman who registered us last year and began the folly that is re-registering with last year’s details to help. At least my name hasn’t changed, but visa expiry dates and phone numbers had, and she had to print out three times before it was correct.

Finally being a legal temporary resident, I set off to look for a place to practise the piano. It was at this point I noticed that the number of kilometres remaining on the bike had grown from its original 45, and I grimly realised it wasn't an estimate of km left, but simply an odometer, and the battery fullness indicator had reduced to three bars, which I had no idea how to translate into km left.

I did find the piano place, the one with the pretty, tall teacher who didn’t want to charge for me to practise, but it was closed till 3pm, and as it was already 3.45 I didn’t hang around to find out how much longer it would be closed for. So I headed towards the other place not far from A Hua’s house. This one was closed too, and I guessed it must be because of the school summer holidays. I hoped to find the third place I’d been to last year but as the battery was now on one bar I decided to leave it for another day.

Instead I went to the supermarket by the market to stock up on provisions. I got on the up-escalator, and was thinking how I’d had so few calls due to my new phone number when I heard “Peng Duoming!” and I noticed it was the Doctor, the table tennis guru, at the top. I shook hands with him and he asked me why I’d not been playing table tennis recently (well I hadn't been in the country for a year) - I just said just I’d only got in last night and had a bad back. He retorted that I had a bad back because I hadn't been playing table tennis. I was about to explain how it actually happened two years ago because of table tennis but thought better of it. Then I realised my back was actually quite ok at the moment. Could it actually be due to stress or lack thereof? I’d only had one ibuprofen in the morning…

Well I had no time to dwell as I heard “Peng Duoming!” again, and this time recognised a bloke in the queue for the tills. I didn’t recognise him enough to remember his name but he certainly remembered me and invited me for a meal that night. I just recalled he wasn't Pingguo born and bred, but was married to a native, so it gave us something in common. I said I was booked but to add me on WeiXin and we’d sort something out.

Finally inside the supermarket, to my horror they had no Cola Zero. A step backwards from the last seven years I think - I hope my more local supermarket does. I ended up just picking up something for breakfast and a little medicine alcohol just in case.

Outside I picked up some grapes from the Bangxu stallholders and noticed them playing cards with about four decks each. I wanted to ask why four decks but for once my cat-like curiosity took a turn for the dog, and I just fancied getting home.

The dian dong che started dying on me but just managed to get me back to our apartment building at what would be a walking pace in the UK. The bloke then charged me 5 kuai to charge up! Last year and every other year it had been 1 kuai! Inflation of the astronomical kind!

It was now 4.45 and I remembered to call for water to be delivered with the number that was still in my phone after all these years. There was no answer but when they called back I tried to explain our 14/15 floor address problem but it was apparently solved when I said I was the English bloke and they remembered me. That didn’t stop the woman calling from outside the building as she couldn't work out which number on the pad to push, and few people ever can - I still don't know. 14 being unlucky is just a self-fulfilling prophecy. For some reason she recalled that last year we’d bought a second dispenser bottle and she asked if we still had it. Indeed we did, so I left her carrying two large empties back with her. She must have been thinking about that for nearly a year.

I was ready by 5pm for the meal with Ling Ming and family, when got a text from him saying he would pick me up at 6. I judged it an appropriate time to nip a tiny whisky. The meal at Ling Ming’s, with his wife, kid, and extended family was very nice, punctuated with various phone calls, mainly from Li Kun and the bloke I met in the supermarket earlier. Finally I agreed something with Li Kun. But then shit started to happen.

The bloke from the supermarket was adamant we’d arranged something for tonight, but I had arranged something with Li Kun. To make matters worse, A Wu was coming to pick me up from Ling Ming’s in a bit. While in A Wu’s car I received another call from the supermarket bloke and just handed over the phone to A Wu. A Wu took the call then we went to the new KTV near A Xia’s place. He said I should meet these blokes for a bit then call him. I guessed it was something about not losing face, so got out of car just as the bloke from the supermarket and his cohorts were crossing the road in my direction.

They looked as drunk as the devil himself after several mouthfuls of medicine alcohol followed by rice wine; their faces were as red as the horned man from hell, and they walked like they wore cloven boots. All told there were six of us. A Wu had left and I was alone with them. Supermarket bloke was actually Chen, who I remembered a bit more from last year, and actually wasn't a quarter as drunk as his mates. But he seemed just as excited about getting me to join them in KTV merriment.

Even before the weak beer was served, the other blokes started singing in dreadful tones that even I couldn't emit. They reminded me of comic book characters, some of them in army garb. One of them evidently had a business in Christmas trees, and made me look through his wares of plastic white trees on his phone while others screeched away in drunken non-tones. I was having a really bad time.

I was aware Li Kun had invited me out, and I also knew that these five blokes really wanted my company in the KTV place, so at some stage I had to be completely blunt with Chen and say I had to be somewhere else. It required a couple of gan beis with each of the blokes, but it was easier than it might have been to get away, considering it was nearly midnight, except for being made to sit through about 48 more pictures of white Xmas trees..

Thankful to be out of the room, I thought I would find the lift by myself, but no such luck. They all considered I would be incapable of doing so, so accompanied me down the two whole stories to the street below, where I thankfully hailed a san lun che. I hadn't banked on the price to the new bbq place, a whole 10 kuai. I would have thought he had done me if it hadn't taken so long. But finally I found Li Kun and mates, and felt bad that they had been kept waiting so long.

But I wasn't pissed really so was able to join them in a few beers. Some old friends were there and that made it an infinitely better section of the evening than I had hitherto spent. A Wu was also there, and took me home at 1ish. Another night where home was merely a bed.