Flights

I'd planned it all so that I wouldn't disturb Tan at 4am. I even woke before the alarm and turned it off. Everything was sorted so I only had to get out of the room to the non-ensuite shower, then wash and be on my way.

But for some reason I left my phone in our room. I normally use my phone as a light but as it was there I couldn't so I ventured back like a cat to pick it up. Unlike a cat I forgot that it was still attached to the charger so as I held it lightly it jumped out of my hand a second later like a kitten, except it didn't make the sound that kittens make when they land on a wooden floor and immediately I was treated to a loud "TUT" as only woken women can make. Oh I tried so hard.

So cats, kittens, and women out of the way I was sorting out some last minute things post-shower when I noticed I had two missed calls, and that A Wu and A Ni were downstairs bang on 5am. I called them to say I'd be down there within two shakes of a rat's tail, but not literally and got down there five minutes later.

We exchanged pleasantries but by the time we were out of Pingguo both A Wu and A Ni were asleep in the back of the car. I didn't sleep one notch as I feared it would affect si ji (the driver). The goodbye at the airport was not what I am used to because I'm coming back (planes allowing in two weeks) so it was a quick hug and that was it.

I didn't need the hassle that ensued at the airport, with after having queued for a bit being told to go to another queue, from which I was told to go back to the first queue. I argued with a representative that I did not want to be queue swapping again and he soon realised that it was better to speak to me in Mandarin (I find it easier to argue in Mandarin but maybe that is just a marriage thing). I was bloody livid when I was told to swap queue again so I went to the previous bloke and told him this was just unacceptable. So I was advised to go to the business class queue and there I explained that I would not budge until I had a boarding pass. It seemed to work; apparently the problem was that I was flying to Xiamen, and that there I would have to get my luggage and re-check-in. Not the biggest problem in the world and if I had been told that in the first place it would have been a lot smoother.

Lounge access was nice after that. I saw black and white people for the first time in nearly two weeks (black people and white people I mean, not "black and white" people). Though it was only 7.30am I was worried about a flight to a city I'd never heard of before so forced myself to have a couple of gin-impregnated lemonades before the flight. I asked when we were going to be called about 20 minutes before my flight and the woman said we'd be called presently. She obviously assumed I was on the same flight as the Westerners as after 2 minutes she seemed alarmed and told me to hurry along to board now.

Putting practisers in the Nanning lounge - just what I wanted at 7.30am

Not the busiest time of the day

As is the wont at Nanning you get a VIP security channel and within a minute I was "plane side" and got on the flight. I didn't sleep, and I didn't enjoy it much, but those two Gs did help make it manageable. And I got to speak with some bloke from near Xiamen whose wife lived in Nanning, which was quite pleasant. Though I didn't have the heart to ask how you can live so far apart for so much of the year. I'm about to do that for just over two weeks and it hurts already.

At Xiamen I tried to get some Golden Virginia for Tel but they only had proper fags. Sorry Tel. So I spent the rest of the time in the lounge after getting my suitcase and re-checking it in. Chinese red wine is not great. But if you have to fly it is manageable and I managed three very small glasses.

The flight to Amsterdam was relatively OK. It was KLM so I had a G&T with my meal but needn't have bothered as I seemed to be dropping on and off for some of the flight. Similarly for the next Amsterdam to Brussels flight. Almost pointless as only 25 mins in the air but that still required a take-off and landing so made it just as dangerous as the previous one. But I was too tired to care. Worst thing was probably waiting 50 minutes for luggage in Brussels before could get taxi to hotel. I don't think I crashed until 1am, or 7am Chinese time. Travelling may seem romantic to some but it's bloody shit if you don't like flying and have a family.