Table tennis excess and boss lunch

I was awoken at 6am by Tan telling me not to snore. I couldn't sleep after that so decided to go for a jog again at 7.30. But when I had just started I noticed some movement in the old folks' leisure centre and went to have a look, and noticed there were a couple of people playing table tennis. I was invited to play but didn't have my bat so I popped home and picked it up, together with two bottles of water and a towel. I'd never played in the morning before but it made sense as it was a little cooler. However I was rather out of practice, so caught up with a 62 year old who wasn't actually that much better than me. When thoroughly drenched with sweat (and I was topless), another bloke came along and after two minutes challenged me to five games.

I hoped he had meant best of five but thought better of trying to work this out by asking as I'd find out soon enough anyway. Indeed it was five games up to 11 points, and I lost every one, though by slightly better margins each time. Then before I had the time to gulp some more water another, rather portly chap, came to play me. Barely a rally was played before he told me to start the first of five games again. I was caned 11-3 in the first game but lost the second by only two points. I had noticed he was left-handed so changed my approach and won the next two games to my surprise. At every single point, win or lose, this man let out a huge guffaw in the manor that only Roger Hargreaves could illustrate. However, Mr Table Tennis beat me in the next game and I walked over to shake his hand. Then he said "hai you yi ge" and I realised it was only 2-2 in games. I must have totally imagined I lost the second game as we'd changed sides after every game and I indeed was on the same side I had started on. Despite my best efforts I was somewhat tiring and I lost the finale by two points.

Shattered, I flopped down on the bench and supped the rest of my water while watching Mr Table Tennis proceed to wallop the next bloke who was five times better than me. And then I noticed he was playing with his right hand. The clever bastard had used his weaker hand to beat me and I hadn't noticed. I need to practise.

I didn't get a photo of Mr Table Tennis but he looked rather like this

It was now 9.30am but instead of leaving straight away I found myself embroiled in conversation with a few of the locals. One of the blokes had a northern accent and I found out he'd come to Pingguo in 1992 from the North East to work in the aluminium company and stayed there since. He was now retired but I found out he was only 56...oh what a lovely thought.... The other people were very nice and very positive about me having two kids, especially one of each.

As it was gone 10 I made my excuses and went home, promising to come back soon. I grabbed a shower and tried to grab some rest but couldn't sleep so soon after exercise. Tan woke up a bit later and asked when I'd taken the kids to school. Shit, I'd forgotten about that. I called Waipo, where both had slept last night and indeed they were still at home playing. I went round to see them and Er Jie was there saying "bu gei tamen qu xue xiao" (don't let them get to school). I conferred with Tan on the phone and because Er Jie won't be here for much longer we agreed they didn't have to go it today and Er Jie could take them out to play.

I got a call from Yang Heiwei at 11.30 to ask me to come around to eat. For some reason Tan doesn't like me eating with him so I told her generically that I was going out to eat lunch. He picked me up from outside the house and we went straight to his office where I met up with Boss Huang and a couple of other bosses I recognised from the last couple of years, plus A Wu was there. We spent the next 45 minutes drinking tea as one does when one is a boss, before ordering some food from the restaurant downstairs and then going down there to eat. I was rather hungry and noshed on pig liver with bitter greens, lamb, more pork, and plenty of greens. As one boss left, another came, then A Ni came and said Tan would be coming too, which she did half an hour later, so all in all a fairly long and fairly simple meal.

I got home before 2pm and managed a siesta yet again until 5pm when Tan called me to hurry to Waipo's for food. When I got there she texted to say to not wait for her as she was having her hair done...what a cheek. I'm beginning to think that "kuai yi dian" (hurry up) means more like a simple "ok?" at the end of a sentence rather than anything to make you actually hurry up - certainly I now ignore the hurrying nature of it when told to "kuai yi dian".

As I'd eaten so much at lunchtime and had just got up I didn't have an appetite, but I forced a little down so as not to disappoint Waipo too much. Then I played with the kids as I haven't had that much time with them over the last few days. They were taken out a tad later but I didn't really mind as I was feeling a bit queezy, so I went home to relax.

I found that one of the cute goldfish was lying on the floor slightly floundering and I noticed its stomach was eaten away. Despite the fact we'd fed them it seemed that one of them had started devouring the other - what a piece of shit. After flushing away stomach-less I lay down and I nearly fell asleep again but was almost having minor hallucinations so stayed till Tan came home after midnight and had a bit of the bbq she brought home.