Another meal with A Wu but better bite with Li Kun

Jeez despite last night I was still up at 5am after 4 hours' sleep...this is becoming tedious. But this time when it got to 7.30pm I decided German counting wasn't going to cut it so I tried some Alprazolam that Tan had appropriated some time before from here. Jeez I can see how it's the no.1 additive drug in the US (known as Xanax) except that in my tiny experience all it does is make me sleep. I guess that's reason enough in our modern world but my, within 30 minutes I could literally feel myself falling in a way that German counting could only wish for. Luckily, I am not of the addictive personality type, at least in my opinion. I remember talking to the doctor about this re Tramadol and she said she was happy for me to take it when my zuo gu shenjing tong flared up as I said I never take more than one dose in a day and almost never more than one day in a row. But I can see how people would take Alprazolam on a daily/nightly basis. It's literally night and day as I woke up later at 11.30am feeling so refreshed and having no side-effects. I don't know why this year has been so different so far.

A Wu called me around 12.30pm after I'd told him I was quite refreshed and he said we'd to to play "snooker" after he'd had a shower. I said I'd grab one too but knew better than to expect to be there in half an hour so didn't. And indeed I was proved right as I didn't get a call from him till 2.19pm when he said he was outside. Well I wasn't ready so I said I'd get a shower and he said he'd meet me at Pingguo International Hotel which was fair enough. When I got there half an hour later he chastised me for taking two hours for a shower and I accused him of the same, to which he could only laugh. We sat down with some woman and drank rose tea for half an hour which was quite pleasant.

Not sure about the quality of the information at the hotel

Pleasantly, we left and I left the dian dong che to take A Wu's slightly aging X6 to the supermarket to get some flavour to cook chicken wings with. 

But of course first we went to play "snooker". There is a perfectly ok word for billiards or pool, but of course he didn't use that. He said that for each game lost we would have to drink half a bottle. I agree of course as why not? I got him to explain the rules and for once it was pretty simple. It's pretty much English rules as in 1-7 is red (or yellow) and 9-15 is yellow (or red). What you pot first is what you are stuck with. There are a few minor differences though. If you pot your opponent's colour it's not a foul. Pretty much any other foul means yor opponent gets to put the white ball anywhere. And there is no two-shots rule. Fair enough. Oh, and annoyingly at least one of the balls you hit has to hit the edge or go in. That somewhat screwed my strategy of covering pockets and snookering him. In fact it massively did. So he was leading 6-2 when I made a cracking snooker with him just needing the black. I had hidden the white so he had no chance, but he just lay into my balls to split them and leave a relatively easy black if I didn't pot (no two shots for me). So I told him if you foul on purpose you forfeit the game, and I think he sort of got it. That is most unfair!

Playing "snooker" but the table was ace

Then we went to his house where he proceeded to cook and I help his son Li Yun write some English homework. It was incredibly tiring for me as a non-teacher...it seemed he had memorised some words and could write "goodbye" but couldn't write "arm", as though he had no idea about the alphabet. Had I been a teacher I may have been more effective but I just helped him learn more words. At least I hope he learnt something and I know A Wu appreciates that. Despite the amount of sleep I'd had, after 45 minutes with Li Yun I lay down on the sofa and put my coat over me and counted to 60 in German before A Wu touched me to say we were going to eat.

Well at least his kids had eaten the chicken wings. So we got a box of La rou and left the kids at home and got a didi che under 1km away to one of his xiong di's place where there were only three other blokes. It wasn't the most interesting of places but I felt I had to stay for a bit. Then Li Kun pinged me to go over and I would have much preferred to go there so said I'd go in a bit. But the bloke here had ordered beer to be delivered for me and A Wu so I felt I should stay to at least drink half of the 12 cans. They also ordered some noodles to put in the huo guo so I felt obliged to have some of them too.

During most of the meal A Wu was working out lottery numbers in a way I'll never fathom

Luckily, A Wu complained that his stomach was "zhang le". I'm still to learn the character for that but I've heard it a lot as when your stomach is full, like Venky 45 minutes after starting drinking beer. But he really meant it and we left before 10pm to walk back. We spent 15 minutes walking to our respective destinations and when we split I realised not only did I need a shit but I also needed a piss. I logicked myself that my bladder was pushing whatever it is that was holding in my poo so I made a detour to a building site and had a massive wee that I should have had a few minutes earlier. And indeed it did seem to relieve a bit of pressure on the old poo front. I knew I had 10 minutes to get to Li Kun's office so now should make it.

Indeed I did. Thanks to Awl I spoke to him on WhatsApp (thanks to VPN) and that helped me get to Li Kun's office, to cheers of "Ming Ge!". It's times like these that totally justify me being here in my opinion. We're not special people. I'm not, they're not. We like each other's company that's all. We spent a great 2 hours together chatting about normal stuff and decided at midnight to call it a night. That transpire to 12.30am but the music teacher gave me a lift back then and although I didn't need it I was grateful to him.

Being naughty, or silly, after a lot of sleep, I went to our local shop to buy some beer. The old bloke was there and seemed so happy to see me. I gave him a big smile while picking out a box of Li Quan 1998. He showed me a card that I think explained the Li Quan deal re the ring pulls...so maybe it's that you only get one can per two ring-pulls and you still have to pay 1 kuai per can. If so it's still a great deal I think. Anyway I got home and managed a chat with Mat and Awl till nearly 2.30am before crashing...that will be me for 10 hours right?

The owner showed me the real deal...a can for each "lucky" ring-pull + 1kuai. Still seems like a great deal!

A winning pull-ring?

I wish I could be at six places at once...lovely meal with Haiwei and family though

This is getting silly now. Yet again up at 5am after 4 hours' sleep. But at least this time I knew I was in China as I'm quite used to this room in this house now. I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep for a while but reasoned that a siesta shouldn't be too hard later so at 7am I ventured out for a longish walk to make that possibility even greater.

On the way to the guangchang I heard the sounds of cai ma and indeed saw a table of four or five people playing...no doubt having been there throughout the night. I had no inclination to join them though, even if they'd seen me and called me over. I managed about 7km and picked up some jiaozi on the way back. But this time there was someone new serving. I asked if he was the new boss and he said no but the boss is visiting France till after Chinese New Year. Wow, that seems a long way away for a long time.

So breakfast over and it was barely gone 9am. No-one I knew would be awake, so I paid a visit to the supermarket to pick up some provisions, not that I needed much. By 10am I was really feeling it so went back to bed where it just seemed to laugh at me and any prospect of sleep. At 10.45 I countered by opening a beer. I tried to justify it by thinking what time it was in the UK but 2.45am is hardly sufficient. But I needed the sleep so I did it but I might as well have been drinking coffee for all the effect it had though. Then A Wu called to remind me we were going fishing now. Oh shit I'd completely forgotten about that. So I was honest and said I couldn't do anything without some sleep and randomly said I'd need 50 minutes. More like 3h50. But that gave me more incentive to sleep so I grabbed another beer and put the alarm on for midday.

So much for that. Midday wheeled around and all I had for my efforts at sleeping were two visits to the toilet. But I didn't give up and persevered with another beer. Luckily they were weak of course. But maybe that was the problem, but I didn't have anything else and didn't actually want to be drunk as such. At least A Wu hadn't called back, so this time I laid down and counted methodically in German, one number per breath and although I made it to 100 it look a lot longer than 100 breaths as I'd lose count at 64 and have to keep going back to 60 with some strict rules I made to myself. I found thoughts interspersing with the counting, like preludes to dreams without the satisfaction of dreams themselves. Or maybe foreplay to dreams is better...important but not the real thing. So it was marginally better than no sleep, but frustrating as I'm used to be able to get a decent 2 hours in normally.

I hadn't forgotten Haiwei had invited me to eat with him and his son and sure enough at 4.20pm he sent a ding wei and said we'd start at 6.30pm. I told him I'd get some kip first and he was fine. I'd moved on to Spanish counting by now and was having limited success, stalling in the 60s and 70s but not really getting sleep. Of course he called at 6.03pm to say to come now so I told him I'd get a shower and come over. It took minutes for the hot water to come through and I was really worried about having a cold shower now that it's only 12-13 degrees outside. But finally I found if I turned the know all the way to the left it would just be hot enough, and would hopefully wake me up enough. Before I was dry, Haiwei called again at 6.26, then at 6.40, then at 6.47 when I finally got there as it was further than I thought. But I couldn't get in the xiao qu as it was a sort of gated community. I called to say I was at a main exit, and was able to read all five characters of the shop outside, so they sent someone to collect me.

Except a car came to leave the complex and while the barrier was raised a delivery driver on a bike sneaked through, as did I, narrowly missing its return. It was actually a silly move on my part as I'd said I was outside and now I was in. I found a little garden and called Haiwei but he was upstairs sorting out the food and the girls had gone to collect me. So I walked back to the barrier when Huang Qian called me. I told her I'd seen a little garden and she said to meet there so I walked back and a couple of minutes later I could see a young girl running towards me to give me a big hug. I guess I should have remembered her from the last time but I certainly pretended I did. She was with Huang Qian and Baoli, and challenged me to a race, so I called out 一、二、三 and we ran off. I let her win because she knew the way to the house and I didn't (no, I'd have let her win anyway of course).

Upstairs was a typical family affair with three generations again. Baoli's elder brother and wife were there, and I gathered the young girl I raced with was their daughter and they had a baby son too. Baoli's mum was happy to shake hands with me and laughed with joy when I said some words in Bangxu hua. Of course the meal was lovely despite me flagging. Huang Qian was sat next to me and was doting on the little son of 6 months. If I wasn't married I would have thought they were trying to pair us off. As if to make it worse, Baoli asked to see a pic of my kids and was cooing over them and when Huang Qian saw them she reiterated the fact that she wanted mixed-race kids herself....

The food was top-notch of course, especially the duck (and Baoli's mum was particularly enamoured with my "ngo bit ndei gun!" (the duck is tasty)), and I was quite interested that when I opened the first can of Li Quan 1998 beer Huang Qian was excited to see that we'd "won" something. I didn't quite understand what we'd won (was it a caravan or a boat, a la Bullseye?) but didn't want to stilt the conversation by asking too much. But the next can also had the same writing on the underside of the ring-pull and it made me realise that in the 21+ years I've been coming here nearly all of the beer cans have had these hitherto throwaway ring-pulls until finally there has been a use for them. But the next can, and then the next, and the next all had the same writing underneath. It was like winning the lottery with every ticket until I smelt a rat (it took 4 cans). But regardless, we kept the winning ring-pulls in a plastic cup as apparently we'll get a free can for each one next time we go to buy more beer. It sounds too good to be true so probably is!

Lovely meal with Haiwei, his girlfriend Baoli, and some of her family (and Huang Qian)

Then it was my turn to take a couple of photos with the baby and his big sister. But Huang Lei had pinged me to go for a bite so I told Haiwei I'd better go in a bit as I won't necessarily get much time to see him due to job constraints. So I left around tennish and drove to near the police station I'd need to go to to register in a couple of days. It took a couple of minutes' video call but I finally found the place and met just Huang Lei, A Ning, and Lao li, in various states of inebriation. In fact A Ning was already wasted, but it was fine and I only stayed till 11.30am as they could see I was knackered.

Me with Baoli's brother's youngest

Me with Baoli's brother's oldest

During this time Lu Feng from the Haliao supporters' club had heard I was in town and invited me to drink at the new place over the bridge, and advertising friend Nong had also done the same. I would dearly have loved to do both or either but was so flagging even Huang Lei had noticed and said we'd make a move. This was after Lao Li had taken A Ning back due to his wasted state. I think literally every one of my six best friends here had invited me out tonight...if only I had been more awake....

But A Wu had also pinged me to say he was outside our place so after following Huang Lei back to nearly home I got him to send a ding wei and I made a last effort for a beer. I found where he was thanks to a "hello!" and a "do you remember me?" from a pretty lady cooking some bbq. I would normally remember a pretty lady cooking bbq who speaks English but I guess I was too tired, but used her to help me find where A Wu was. In fact she was useless, saying he was in a housing place opposite the road when in fact he was literally eating next door to her. Still, I thanked her in English and said I'd come back to eat there some time. Then she pointed to a skinny bloke and said he was her boyfriend and I shook his hand as though genuinely congratulating him on having a pretty girlfriend, and then felt there was something wrong about that (the congratulations...not having a lovely girlfriend).

Oh jeez, there were about six of us around the table and I was by far the soberest. A Wu wasn't far behind and after a few ganbeis even he could see my flaggishness. He slightly tried to get me to go with them to sing song (with the "temptation" that there would be "beautiful woman" but I only had sleep on my mind) so I raised my plastic glass for the last time and wished them a good night.

Back home I should have slept as soon as I was horizontal but I put on the last half an hour of the Palace v City match and it was typically not great viewing. We managed to equalise through a lovely move but we are a shadow of the team we were. Congrats Liverpool on a well-deserved title this year. Let's hope to regroup and rekindle that spirit.

Slightly surreal afternoon but nice "sheep soup" with A Wu's family

I shouldn't be surprised that I woke up after under 4h30m of sleep again because it always bloody happens during the first week. At least I was awake enough to realise I should really register myself although it's not as important yet as technically I've been registered by the hotel for the last two days. So I checked out at 10.30 and took my stuff to the house and washed the clothes and put them out to hopefully dry within a couple of days. By the time I got to the police station it had just turned midday and I was told to come back some time between 3-6pm. Well at least I tried...but a 3 hour lunch break for the police sounds rather nice (for them).

I called A Wu to go for duck noodle soup and he drove to meet me at the usual place but he said it was too busy so took me to another place we'd been to before and indeed had a lovely duck breast noodle soup. I noticed he left almost all of his noodles though. He's definitely put on weight in the last few years so maybe he's recognised this now and is cutting down on the carbs. I did the same but mainly because it doesn't take much to fill me up if I've not been exercising. Then it got a little surreal for a while...partly because I badly needed a sleep. We got to Boss Zhou's office and I gave him and another bloke a bit of a hug as they beamed smiles which I hope were the consequence of seeing me back. Then A Wu gave me two tubs of condoms out of the blue. I thought it was some sort of joke but apparently they got a load of them for free from the hospital. I didn't ask too many questions as I didn't really want to know. What the eff am I going to do with them? And just imagine the mess that would happen if I left them in the house....I'll dump them somewhere.

Duck breast soup as you do

What to do with two tubs of CDs?

Then he said he'd take me back to where he met me and I'd left the dian dong che, but first we were to go to an injection place to get an injection in the bottom. At least he was.... Thankfully it was not done in full view, and he paid the 50 kuai for the experience and again I just didn't ask what it was for...it was almost hallucination time by now. So he dropped me off sometime after 1pm and I got home and grabbed a couple of beers to encourage some sleep that finally came but only for an hour or so before A Wu called me again as we were going to eat lamb soup.

He kept saying "sheep soup" and I had to correct him for the umpteenth time that us Brits don't like to use the word of the animal when eating them so we change it. Then he asked how to say "dog meat" in English and I had to admit it was the same word but only because we don't eat the bloody things. I'm glad he didn't ask about chickens. Anyway, at 5pm he called to say he was already outside our house so I told him I'd be 5 minutes and then we drove to the north of the town to pick up his daughter who was happy enough to see me and held my hand as I protected her from drizzle and we went to pick up her big brother from another school. A Wu asked me to get out to pick him up while he parked so I did but there was no sign of him for a good 10 minutes. I got the inevitable call from A Wu to ask where I was and of course I was at the school gate looking for his son. So A Wu came and eventually Li Yun turned up, one of the last to get out.

We drove to a place I felt I'd been to before, near the Vienna hotel. And indeed it was lamb soup...just a lot more than that. A Wu's wife turned up and we enjoyed a hearty meal with a particularly nice haggis-like plate of sliced lamb in lamb stomach. Of course after a while A Wu's wife took the kids back (though not to do homework as it was a Friday) and then some beer and men turned up. I recognised some faces but could not recall any names, but it was very pleasant to have a few beers with these chaps, even if the beer was rather on the strong side at 3.3% and came from near Shanghai.

A nice family meal with "sheep soup"

And then more blokes turned up and finally a couple of women and I realised it was starting to get let and I was getting light-headed. Then Nong called me to go and have a beer with her and some mates so I thought I would do that. The blokes all said to meet up tomorrow at 10.30am to go fishing and then for a meal and I said I would (though that will depend on sleep patterns). So I picked up my coat from A Wu's car and headed off home on foot as I'd need my dian dong che to get to Jiang Bing Lu and I got at least three calls from Nong to ask where I was as you do. Well I got there and joined in playing cards but was flagging yet again so within an hour I apologised and said I'd have to get home as it was midnight already. That was accepted and I was asleep within 30 minutes of getting back, not even managing to finish a beer yet again.

The meal somewhat changed a bit later as more and more blokes turned up

More lack of sleep but fun evening at Huang Qian's followed by KTV

For some reason I was up after not much more than 4h30m of sleep. Two nights in a row is not great. But I made the effort to get up and go to our house to see if the water was pouring and of course it wasn't. It was too early to do anything about it so I went back to the hotel to ask if I could stay another day. Of course I could. I booked it in trip.com again and within seconds the bloke scanned my card and confirmed I could stay in the same upgraded room so that was nice. It was very nice actually, but I still could barely sleep. I even tried a beer at midday and finally managed some awakish hallucinations counting to 100 in German and Spanish again.

I decided to go back to the house to enquire about the water again and this time the security bloke came with me to look at the external pipes. I told him which one was probably ours as it lead to our house but I'd not noticed they have the house numbers daubed in yellow above them anyway so he may have been a bit bemused by my gesticulation at how the pipe made its way up and along the wall when he already knew we are number 102. But at least this security guard made a phone call to someone and a lady turned up 5 minutes later with a tool to twist the smaller of two tap-like things and finally yes! We had water! Well I had water...I don't think anyone has been here for months....

Obviously it was the smaller tap on the right that needed to be opened...

Then I got a message from Huang Qian, Baoli's ex-colleague and friend I ate with last night who wants an English boyfriend. She invited me to her place as Yang Haiwei and Baoli were also going and were going to cook there. I said thank you and I should be able to go but I'd need a siesta first. I naughtily went and got a little bit of vodka from the supermarket by the guangchang and after a couple of those finally managed 45 minutes' kip. It was really hard to wake up but she said not to worry about being there dead on 7pm so I took advantage and got there at 7.30.

Annoyingly, my phone wouldn't get online and I saw I had an SMS saying I was out of funds and they would cut me off on the 5th December if I didn't pay. So bugger, they had. Which meant I couldn't call Huang Qian when I got there but at least I had the address and it wasn't that hard to find someone to point me in the right direction. In fact it was better that way as I got some interaction with a human and I got there just as food was being served. It was another nice family affair with three generations around the table and on the sofa, and a splendid feast to boot.

About to eat at Huang Qian's

The inevitable cai ma after a few beers

Of course the beer was opened after a short while and we got through a fair amount during the meal as more people turned up. I was flagging but the beer and the company gave me a little energy but I couldn't care too much for going to sing song when Haiwei suggested we go there at 11.30pm. But it was all arranged and I didn't really have much of an option. So I hopped on the bike with Haiwei and we went to the KTV near the supermarket by the guangchang, only a few yards from the bar I went to with Li Kun last night.  There were only 6 or 7 of us but it was pretty good fun and did join in with both Chinese and English songs (well the usual ones) until around 2am where I could feel any remaining energy seeping out from me.

So I dropped off Haiwei at the International Hotel (I don't know if he's staying there or what), then got to my hotel where I didn't find it too hard to fall asleep in the comfortable massive bed.

Lovely long day back in Pingguo...

Annoyingly I was woken up by a phone call at 8am after no more than 4 hours' sleep. I couldn't get back to sleep so went to the security place to enquire about the water. He said something about it but it wouldn't be back for a bit, even though Tan said last night she'd definitely paid the bill. Oh well, I can't live without a shower so at 9am I booked the Vienna hotel on trip.com and to my gratitude (?) the lady at the desk said they only had a more expensive room but she'd upgrade me at no extra cost. So finally showered and refreshed, very refreshed, I went to pick up some jiaozi and baozi. As I didn't have the dian dong che I walked over to where I used to go in the summer and passed by racist Huang having lunch with his wife and a friend. There was no utterance of surprise whatsoever, though I was beckoned to eat with them. On another day I would have but I just wanted to get a small bite and get some sleep, so I said I'd definitely be back one evening.

I came across a cool cat while out getting a bite to eat

After a nice bite I lay down and tried in vain to sleep again. I very nearly managed it but after making it to 100 in German and Spanish Li Kun called me to come over and pick up the dian dong che. It was getting on for 5pm so I thought I would, then get registered again, but once there he told me it would be too late and to drink tea instead. Which we did for 10 minutes with Luo and some other bloke, until Haiwei rang to invite me to eat at 7.30pm. But Li Kun wanted me to go out with him later for drinks, so I passed the phone to him and they agreed I'd do Haiwei first, but Li Kun told him not to let me drink too much there...as if I would.

But I was uncomfortably tired, so used this as an excuse to go back to the hotel for a final attempt at a siesta, and assisted by half a can of beer I think I managed a few minutes before Haiwei called me again to tell me not to come early (I hadn't even seen his ding wei he'd sent a few minutes earlier). Oh well, at least I'd remembered to pick up a bottle of wine I'd bought in Sainsbury's a couple of days ago. I downed the half can of now room-temperature beer and drove the 5 minutes to the International Hotel where his girlfriend works, except I'd forgotten that her office was on the 3rd floor, not the 2nd so I looked like a bit of a wally walking into the wrong rooms...not that that hasn't happened before.

There were a couple of women there eating sweetcorn as you do, and one of them drank the water from the clear kettle they boiled the sweetcorn in while the rest of us drank red tea. I'd normally avoid this after the afternoon but it was necessary caffeine to perk me up. The four of us sat down to eat and then Haiwei's girlfriend, Baoli joined us. It transpired that the three women had known each other since sixth form, and that one of them was pregnant with her third (although only second pregnancy due to twins the first time around). The other was single, but asked me to find her an English boyfriend as she wanted to have mixed-race kids. Er...yeah I've been asked this before but not quite so brazenly.

"Brewing" sweetcorn as you do...

Huang Qian and friend cutting a zongzi with the wrapping. The former wants mixed-race babies and the latter will have her third (not mixed-race) in 5 months.

It was a good laugh and after the customary eating for 15 minutes Haiwei cracked open the beer but only the two of us drank at first as Baoli was still technically working. To be fair she was on and off the phone for a while and had to pop out. But when she was back she no longer had her name tag on and promptly poured herself a beer. Then the pregnant woman's husband entered but he'd eaten so just had some beer. Then the English boyfriend-seeker decided she'd have some beer too. And then another bloke turned up for beer. So of course we moved on to cai ma, which I'd not played for over 3 months but was able to beat Haiwei quite easily, if not Baoli.

Li Kun called around 9.30pm as expected and then at 10pm asked where I was so I decided to leave and that was accepted as Haiwei knew where I was due to go. And it was some new place by the supermarket by the guangchang, so of course I couldn't find it. I couldn't even find the 4th floor so Li Kun had to come outside to find me and chastise me for not having taken the lift.... Anyway it was a dark place with a stage in the centre that I had no mind to occupy, at least not tonight. At our table was a "lao da", a senior bloke I sat next to and had to gan bei first. They were all drinking Heineken Silver and it was too dark to see what percentage it was but I could make out 9.5du so I guess around 4%.

Low-level lighting at the new bar

Well I managed, and did some table-hopping until gone midnight where I had to admit defeat to fatigue, so got back to the hotel before 1am to thank Li Kun for inviting me out and letting him know I was back safely. I didn't indulge in any more beer after that.

Sleeping in planes and smooth journeys

I woke up with under two hours to go yet again. Thanks to drugs basically. I managed to watch most of a film I've now forgotten and barely noticed the landing. Had I managed to get the flight I originally intended I'd have had only had 2 hours to change, including immigration, and that almost certainly wouldn't have been enough. So I leisurely filled in my immigration form in Chinese until I forgot how to write Chuan Chuan's name so had to put it in Pinyin to my chagrin. And this time, unlike a few months ago, they let me take my duty free through security and I didn't have to re-check-in my big suitcase. It doesn't sound like a big deal but it's massive if you're bringing in "yang jiu" as presents and you aren't able to take it through. This summer we only managed it as Xixi hadn't checked in hold luggage and we were able to put four bottles into one of our hand luggages and check it in in her name. Pure luck.

Anyway, so far so good, and I found the CHUM lounge where I enjoyed a couple of servings of won tun soup washed down with a little vin rouge self-served from a tap that was attached to a bottle in a fridge that didn't open, so you had to hope they would refill them which they did. Thankfully my phone and laptop connected to the wifi and the laptop VPN was still working so was able to ping a few people. Then after a couple of drinks I started video-calling some friends in Pingguo to tell them to watch out for me in the coming days. That made the 5 hour layover go a lot quicker and before I knew it it was time to board again. I'd once again been given seat 49B for some reason, but this time in a Boeing, and the next thing I knew there was an hour to go before landing. As I went to the loo one of the flight attendants asked if I spoke Chinese so I answered in the affirmative of course and she preceded to inform me what the menu was. I realised I'd slept through the sitting and she kindly suggested I could have both options so I thought why not? And a minute after sitting back down I was served my excellent meals.

Not the first time I've seen this in a Chinese lounge...why? It's the equivalent of the Red Light District in Amsterdam showing its wares but saying you can look but not touch.

But the won tun was excellent even if the rouge was a bit froid

Li Kun had arranged a driver for me and topped up my phone so as soon as we touched down and flight mode was disabled I received a call from an unknown number and indeed it was the driver telling me to go up to the third floor when I had my luggage. Not 5 minutes later mine was one of the first so I hopped into the lift but when I got there all the doors to the outside were locked. I wasn't the only one in this position and it took a couple of minutes and another call to the driver to realise I had to go down to the 2nd floor then outside and up an external escalator. I think it was because that was Departures and there were no more flights today as it was midnight hence they'd locked the doors. Whatever, it didn't take long for him to find me and we spent the next 100 minutes or so chatting as we drove up to his home town of Pingguo.

We pulled up outside Li Kun's office where he was sitting with Meng and Luo (the guy who does compering at weddings etc). It was like I'd never left, and somehow we managed to chat and drink beer for over 2 hours when I realised I had no duty being up at 3.30am, save for the snooze I'd had on the flight. But I did remember my duty free and dutifully gave Li Kun his bottle of single malt I'd picked up in a rush not knowing if it was any good. He wouldn't let me wheel my suitcase the 300 yards home and got me a didi che. So at nearly 4am I was finally home only to find that there was no running water in the flat. Well I found out after taking a number two so it really wasn't convenient. Hey ho, there was no-one else around to witness so I dumped my stuff and was asleep within minutes next to a half-drunk bottle of beer appropriated from the lounge 6 hours previously.

A literally last-minute decision to go back for what may be the last time in a long while

It was rather a last-minute decision. I do need to get a job next month although that's been my excuse for going back the last four times. And it's only just over three weeks till Xmas. So I booked a flight that was leaving in five hours. But I had nearly done the same yesterday so was mostly packed. I actually tried to book a 5.50pm flight which had trip.com allowed me to book I may well have missed. But I told Xixi and she seemed happy as I would be able to bring stuff back for her...and somewhat similar with Tan although she didn't seem quite so happy.

I would have taken the tube but there were delays on the Piccadilly so I ended up back on the Lizzie line which had its own delays but I managed to get to T4 just over two hours before my flight, and with no queue for bags or security I made the lounge via a detour of duty free and was surprised to see that it was self-pour. That meant three meaty G&Ts and a tiny W chaser before being called to board. I was pretty tired so sleep wasn't that hard after a couple of white wines with the meal even though I was stuck in a middle seat for the whole journey and didn't spot a single empty seat anywhere.

 Jetpunk and G&T...nice combination

Last lounge...

Well I was well annoyed that according to Amex and Priority Pass, all the lounges in Beijing were closed at 10pm. We did immigration with relatively no problems and found ourselves in the right area at not too long after midnight with nowhere to wait. But I did a little recce and found a lounge, but they didn't accept Amex, but pointed me to another one. I followed their instructions (in Chinese) and found it but it was bloody closed as expected. I was out of hope but walked around and happened upon another lounge, and with no expectations I asked if they accepted Priority Pass. "对", she said, and with that I found the kids and nearly dragged them upstairs. I asked them what time they closed and they said 3 or 3.30am. 

Last lounge

To be fair the kids weren't that excited. But I was, and went to the bar and asked the lady for a G&T, and she said it was "self-service". I appreciated that but didn't want to speak English so was happy that she spoke to me in Mandarin after that. I hope she was ok with that, though understand if she would have preferred to speak English. But it was my last couple of hours here.

Jeez, it was 47% gin and after two months of mostly 2.5% beer it took its toll, and I was more pissed than I'd been for years. I didn't want to go for the flight so early but the kids suggested I should and we got on last for not the first time. Sorry kids. For a 10.5 hour flight I woke up with 2h48 to go so that's a bonus.

And that was it. We landed safely after a bit of turbulence that by now when tired I don't care about. I'm no longer sad to be back. It's more like waking up from a good dream, or going to sleep. Gosh I will miss it like anything and will try to find excuses to get back. But now my priorities are getting Leilei to uni and Xixi to 6th form. They are so independent now...I wonder if I'll get the chance to be independent in China again. I really hope so.

Last day in Pingguo yet again, but great to meet up and eat with Ma Laoban

I'd bumped into Ma Laoban yesterday, who'd told me to ping him tomorrow (today) at 9am to meet up. I'd bargained with him to make it 11am as I knew 9am would be optimistic. Nevertheless I was up soon after 10am, and as almost everything was packed I pinged Ma Laoban to let him know I was about. He told me he was at his new office and sent a dingwei but it was literally miles away (about three), but the dian dong che was full so I had no worries about not making it.

It seemed to be a new place north of the city where there were a couple of outdoor swimming pools, but I wasn't sure so I pinged him and yep indeed he emerged from a building and we went in and drank tea for the next 45 minutes. Then he said we'd have lunch in half an hour and he'd send a ding wei. Fair enough. So I went home and remembered to get my cleaned Converse from the local place. Not only were they nearly as clean as new, but the owner also noticed the rubber on the sides had started splitting away from the material of the shoe, so fixed them with glue. Now they really were nearly as good as new. All that for 10 kuai. Damn, so many things I'll miss about being here. Not long after I received Ma Laoban's dingwei to eat near A Wu's office from last year. For once it was a relatively simple affair; just him and a woman with her kid and some other bloke (her husband I think).

Fixing a clean shoe

The main course was fish, which I was a bit concerned about knowing that I was due to fly in seven hours, but there was some lovely deep fried pork and nice soup, and I even had some rice this time. But the company was the most important...we ate and chatted till 1.30pm when I said I'd better leave as Tan had already ordered a cab for 3pm and I still had last-minute stuff to do.

Finally a meal with one of my best mates Ma Laoban (right)

We go back 18 years...

So I drove to Li Kun's as you do, as I said I'd leave my dian dong che with him. I hope he or his family can use it, rather than the 80% of its life it's spent doing nothing while we were away. I entered his studio and he invited me for tea. I probably shouldn't, but I did, and I grabbed the guitar for some reason and started playing 有没有人告诉你？ and we both broke out into song for a couple of minutes. Actually it was quite moving...I'm so going to miss this place. Damn, I should have played it at Xiao Bai de Tian but never really mastered it. An excuse to go back if ever there was one. But this lovely moment could only last a moment or two, and Li Kun said he'd take me back. He did and I hoped he'd make use of the dian dong che. Of course I got a call 5 minutes after he'd dropped me off to say I'd left my Converse in the back that I'd just had cleaned and repaired for 10 kuai. I laughed a belly-laugh as you do and a couple of minutes later picked them up and said my final goodbye to Li Kun.

So back home I had half an hour to do any last-minute stuff, and indeed Tan foisted upon me two large boxes of tea to take back. Thankfully my luggage had come to 21.5kg so they just about fitted, but bloody hell dear, couldn't you have asked me a day or so ago? Then she reminded me that the house may be up for sale soon so I put all my clothes and shoes that I couldn't bring back into a black bag, and sent a pic to Li Kun to ask if he wouldn't mind looking after them for a while. How long a while may be I have no idea...it could be weeks, months, years, or never.... But it's important as it will really affect how much stuff I have to bring back next time if there is a next time. Anyway, Li Kun said he'd be able to store it...and more importantly my guitar I'd bought 6 years ago.

And that was it. 3pm came around as did the cab driver, and the three of us got in after managing to get most of the suitcases into the boot, and the rest in the middle of the back seats. I may have had a wee drink on the way to Nanning airport as it was two hours away. But, as with most of the last years it wasn't without a bit of fuss. Both my and Leilei's check-in luggage were stopped, but they found nothing untoward, and let us through after we'd opened them up. It almost seems like a power trip with the security people these days but we don't get angry in any way.

I'd told the kids that one of them wouldn't do the lounge as it would be £20 for an hour or so of wasabi peas and crappy sugary drinks, but when we got there I wasn't that tight and let them both be my guests. We'd spent a cracking couple of months after all and I didn't want them to miss out on a tiny bit of luxury. The flight to Beijing was on time and pretty straightforward, and we arrived before 11pm, five hours before our next one to London Gatwick.

It would have been wrong not to let one of them in...

Another suitcase, some more clothes, and a last supper yet again

Another latish morning turned into lunch of Xiaolongbao for me and Zhu za noodles for Tan. She wanted me to take a load of stuff back but I had to put my foot down a bit, as this time I have more clothing to take back. She actually said to take back all my clothing to the UK as they are thinking of selling the house soon. There's no way I'd be able to do that though.

Predictably, Xixi said she didn't have enough space for her stuff. I told her in the UK we should take a large suitcase each but she said it was too embarrassing for each of us to take a large one. I absolutely knew this would happen so I said she could get one with her own money. We drove down to the centre and found a place selling them by the Zhongxin supermarket. We decided that a hard hand luggage one should be sufficient, which makes sense as we have enough large suitcases between us anyway, but not enough hard hand ones. So we ended up getting a silver one for 169 kuai, and of course I had to send 50 kuai to Xixi so she could actually pay for it.

Xixi got her nails done a couple of days ago

Luckily it was big enough, so next I wanted to go back to the Pingguo Haliao shop and pick up a top for Awl and maybe some more for myself. And this time Xixi accompanied me as I said I'd appreciate her opinion. Unfortunately the dark blue top wasn't available in XXL, so I ended up getting another black one for him, the same as mine. In the 50% off section there wasn't a great deal in XXL/XXXL in colours I wanted but I got a blue track suit top and a black and grey running top that met with Xixi's approval. And when I went to pay I had to pick up a mini fan that when spinning displayed lights to say something like "Fight, Guangxi team", but unfortunately is not picked up on the camera.

Awl's top on the left, my track suit top and running top in the middle and right, and three tickets to the next game they gave us that I won't be able to go to

On the way back Xixi and I stopped off at the place Lu Hai and Lao Ma used to live at, and where Tan and I spent our first days in Pingguo back in 2003/2004. Not that it really matters but I have taken photos in 10 year intervals since then (so three in all), and this time it's not changed so much since 10 years ago.

2004

2014

2024

Next, for the first time in over a year, I posted on Weixin to show the tickets I had for the match that I wouldn't be able to see, and to offer them to whoever wanted them. I instantly got a few replies, mostly asking if I was still in Pingguo (yes, obviously), and to go for a drink later. I got quite an lovely message in English from the bloke whose family I'd shared bbq with a few weeks ago. I'll definitely arrange to meet up with him again if I can.

Nice message from the bloke I met the other week

So that was pretty much everything done that we needed to do, at least in terms of buying stuff. At 5pm Tan said we were going to eat bbq but the rest of us reasoned that that was rather early and we'd go in half an hour at least. That gave me time to grab a shower and a beer, and we walked the 150 yards to a relatively new place where you choose your raw food and cook it yourself at the table. It proved to be a fun and tasty experience, and Tan and I shared a single bottle of beer only. We thought it would be 300 kuai for the three of us but it only came to 178 and we were all stuffed by the end. I'll definitely come back here given the chance, but they don't open till 4pm and we need to leave at 3pm tomorrow.

Last family meal together in Pingguo this year

I decided I'd do another last supper at Zhang Hua's so pinged my friends and without exception each of them said they'd make it over. I knew A Wu was in Nanning again so didn't bother about him. I did ask him where I could get snooker gloves though as I'd checked a handful of shops and not come up with anything. After a somewhat lengthy exchange he told me to go to the place we'd played pool last summer, so I got there to find the boss wasn't there, and there was just some kid who found me a single glove. Oh well, better than nothing and anyway I'm sure I'll be able to find some on Amazon. Then Tan asked me to get some fabric conditioner, as you do, but it was already getting on for 9pm so I stopped off en route to the supermarket by the guangchang but couldn't find any after 5 minutes, but bought a little V for the journey tomorrow.

Then up to Zhang Hua's and luckily I was the first one, followed a few minutes later by Lu zong. One by one they turned up, some with friends, and we filled the table until we needed to add another. Nong helped me order more bbq, and at some later stage more non-bbq food came too. Chen had been pinging me since 8pm and I said I'd try to make it down to the oyster place. I would have invited him up but I know he doesn't get on with Huang Lei, and the latter is a better friend, and was with me tonight. I talked to Haiwei's girlfriend, Li Baoli, and got her to agree to come too so Nong wouldn't be the only lady.

My last Guangxi bbq for a while...

A few mates for the last supper of summer 2024

And the view from the first floor where I had a couple of beers with some other friends

It was a great evening and we didn't disband till well gone 1am, when I asked Zhang Hua for the bill. He only wanted 500+ kuai but I insisted on paying 700; there had been a good 10 of us eating and drinking for up to four hours after all. Li Kun and Nong went to Xiao Bai de Tian, and I said I'd try to join them in 20 minutes after meeting up with Chen, but thought it was unlikely. At least I did meet up with Chen at getting on for 2am, and managed nearly an hour there but was getting really tired so left before 3am after saying goodbye to the owner too. I did check with Nong but they had already left for the night, and I was secretly glad, so navigated the way home safely this time and remembered to but the dian dong che on charge as I would be leaving it with Li Kun tomorrow. It didn't take too long to get to sleep after that, and I knew there would be no rush tomorrow as we were pretty much packed.

Finally managed to take the dian dong che to 6000km after nine years

A very, very expensive mistake

After one of the best night's sleep for several weeks I woke up unhungover at around 10am and then Tan called to say Leilei had said I'd changed the flight dates to the 25th. Well I had but I thought I could change it, and indeed she was adamant that I change it as we "had" to be back for GCSE results day on the 22nd. Well we didn't; Xixi had already emailed school to request the results be sent via email， but unfortunately that was a detail Tan didn't care too much about, nor the fact you can enrol online these days. So it was another call to Air China to change back to the Beijing flight they'd suggested a couple of days ago. But bloody hell I'd already used up my one "free" change, and now they wanted 7080 kuai to change again. Shit. There was nothing I could do. I'd made a decision on the spur of the moment a couple of days ago and thought I had an extra five days in Pingguo, and in the space of a few minutes I'd had those days, and £750 snatched from me for a reason I could argue against, but at the same time couldn't. Sometimes life sucks, as Americans would say.

So it was back to exchanging some crypto for ugly fiat, then sending the said fiat to Li Kun again and within 45 minutes it was sorted. I received an SMS with a link to pay from Weixin, and got a call from Air China (this time in Mandarin for some reason) to confirm. So now I was poorer, and would be getting the 7.40pm flight from Nanning to Beijing. Trying to be positive at least it meant another few hours in Pingguo, and potentially another meal, if expensive.

I made the most out of the midday checkout by staying till gone then (and maybe had a little bit of V as it was now nearly the last day), and walked back via racist Huang's place, where I saw him and his wife and younger daughter eating. Of course they bade me come over to join them, and having not eaten anything I was more than happy to. It does make a change to have a sober meal with him, at least in the sense of not drinking with the meal, and I knew it was likely my last time with him this year. These family meals where I'm invited mean the most to me; it's so nice to just have a normal chat and not have to ganbei or caima sometimes.

Lunch with Beihai Huang and family

Half an our later I was comfortably full and went home and had a quick beer before falling asleep for an hour or so about 3pm. I wouldn't normally have done so as I'd slept ok but maybe I'm becoming a bit more Chinese now (or maybe it was the drink). I must have needed the rest as felt much better when I got up. Zhang Hongping then pinged me soon after 7pm to ask what I was up to and if I could go for a drink. Well I had no plans so told him and he said to wait a minute then go for a midnight snack. He literally wrote that in English and it wasn't yet 8pm. And then said to go back quickly before my lover would scold me. I guess he was referring to Tan's curfew, at least I hope so.

So, a haircut at Lao Ma's later, he sent me a dingwei of the place we'd met up at before, and an hour later I turned up after first stopping off at the supermarket to get some last V for the trip back in two days, and trying to find some fabric conditioner but unfortunately failing as I'd not got it before at this supermarket. As I pulled up I found Zhang Hongping and A Hoc, together with the owner of the alcohol-selling place. It was a rather fun evening and I also invited Haiwei and Huang Lei to come around and of course we ended up caimaiing. I guess around 11pm people left (some people have work the next day), so I ended up going to Zhang Hua's bbq place for what might have been a last bite there.

Haiwei, Zhang Hongping, A Hoc, Huang Lei, and the boss of the alcohol shop for a nice drink

I didn't care too much about the time...Li Kun was there at least, and three women turned up too which made it a bit more fun. One of them said she wanted me to find her an English boyfriend...this is not the first time I've had such a request, and I still don't know quite how to deal with it, so I said I'd look into it. We stayed till around 2am and thankfully no-one had locked the door when I got back. So another delightful evening and again I didn't pay although I wanted to. So I resolved to go back to Zhang Hua's tomorrow for my last supper.

Back to Zhang Hua's bbq place for a late snack

Football tops and football starts

Managed to be up by 11am at least, and bought a couple of portions of xiaolongbao for the umpteenth time and had all but two of one portion. I wanted to pick up a non-football-looking Pingguo Haliao top from the official shop but rain again delayed pay. During the meanwhile Awl called me, and said he'd like a dark blue Pingguo Haliao top, so I said I'd take a look. The rain stopped so I eventually got there around 2.30pm under scalding heat...it's normally cooler after a rain storm but not today. Of course I overshot the shop by 1km at least as I realised the road was turning left and I'd not seen that before. Had I had much more exposure to the sun this could have been a problem but I've not come close to getting sunburnt here for years.

Arriving at the shop I picked up the other red top in M size for Weiwei, and found a black top I really liked for myself, though the largest they had was XXL and only just about the right fit. I did find a navy blue one for Awl but annoyingly it was 349 kuai and I'm not sure the largest size would have fitted. Still, if it's a birthday present I'm more than willing to get one if they have the biggest size.

I'll get this for Awl if they have XXL

Today was the first Man City game this season after last week's Charity Shield, so I definitely wanted to watch it, and thought watching it outside would be better. But it would end at 1.30am and I had the risk of Tan locking the door again so I thought "sod it" and booked a hotel for £19. It was worth it. I'll never understand a lot about China, but the thing I'll most not understand is the hard beds. The hotel bed was so shufu I didn't even end up going out to watch the footy, only to get a chicken and duck leg to sate my appetite.

I managed to stay up only till 2.30am and welcomed the comfort for the last time in Pingguo. A tiny bit of luxury at the cost of three pints back home. And a decent well-deserved 2-0 victory at Chelsea to boot!

Rearranging flights, meal with Huang Lei and back to Xiao Bai de Tian with Li Kun

I woke up after 3 hours' sleep at 8.30 and confirmed with my Zepp app that that indeed was the case. I went out but wasn't hungry so ended up coming back and managing maybe an hour and a half more sleep before it was lunchtime, which was the usual portion of xiaolongbao. More rain meant I didn't get out in the afternoon, so tried to sleep again, this time with a couple of beers. It did the trick, although I chased them with a wee V and cola while chatting to Awl as he was up early after a horrid three cases yesterday.

So I'd managed to sleep from about 4.30-6pm, meaning a grand total of six hours since 5.30am, not too bad. Tan and the kids got back around 7pm after having had a cracking time in Chongqing by all accounts, and spending a lot of money. 

A couple of days ago I found out that our Nanning to Shanghai flight had been cancelled on 21st and I'd been in contact with trip.com but they said as the flight was so soon I'd need to call Air China myself. Fair enough, the internal flight two months ago was also cancelled and trip.com were useless then anyway. So I called Air China and sadly chose the "English" option as I didn't want to risk screwing up stuff. The lady suggested we could take an evening flight to Beijing instead, and then a 3am flight to London. Actually that would probably be better than the original 11.15am flight to Shanghai, despite it being too late for lounges. But then I had the idea of asking if it would be possible to change the date, and indeed it was, so I asked to move it back two days, which she did, and then I realised Pingguo were playing on Saturday at home and could we move it to Sunday? Yes. Wow, I may have "bought" a few more days here! Except I told Xixi and she said no she wanted to get back and see her friends and also do her 6th form induction. Bollocks, I guess I need to call them back tomorrow to go for the Beijing option.

At 7.30pm I realised I still had the bottle of Gordon's gin. In previous years it wouldn't have lasted nearly two months at home, but I've mostly been avoiding anything stronger than beer recently. I had planned to give it to Huang Lei but the two or three times I'd seen him were with other mates and it may have been a bit awkward giving something to him but not them. So I pinged him to say I had this bottle and he asked if I was drinking. Well I may have had a beer but I said I wasn't, and he said he'd just arrived at Li Jun's house and could I come over? Well yes I could, though it was next to the police station where I register us, and Leilei had taken the bike. But as Tan was home I sent her the location and got her to order a didi che, and was there 10 minutes later.

I do like these unexpected meals, and they do like my company, but again, did it have to be me to trigger the invite. Yes, I suppose so. Inviting me to every meal might look a little desperate or something, probably why they normally wait till they're drunk and don't care so much. I called Huang Lei when I arrived and he turned up to take my bottle and put it into a car, before leading me to a newish complex where we took the lift to the fourth floor. Inside were about four families, the wives and kids as usual in the living area eating and watching tv, while the blokes were around the table. A Ning was there, as usual, as was a kettle of gongwenbao in which there were actually two types of gongwenbao - mostly a white one but with about 10% brown one. I still find it quite funny that regardless of the colour, they always call Chinese spirits baijiu, even if they're dark brown.

The owner only had one bottle of beer in the fridge, but by the time that had gone down, one of the wives opened the front door with a crate of more. Strangely, I don't recall playing caima for once. And I was feeling a bit more tipsy than normally, despite checking the beer % (3.7% for the first Russian one, 2.5% for the delivered ones). Maybe that was because we weren't playing drinking games. Li Kun then pinged me at 8.20pm to ask where I was, so I told him and he said he was taking Leilei to have bbq and for me to come around. I thanked him and said 等一下 (wait a bit) I would, but I'd barely been with Huang Lei for 45 minutes. 40 minutes later Li Kun pinged me again simply to say Xiao Bai de Tian, so I guess that's where he'd taken Leilei to eat. I said I would 等一下 go over there.

Huang Lei and A Ning at another unexpected meal

50 minutes later at 10pm the other blokes had finished their second kettle of gongwenbao and we all decided it was time to go and take the kids back too. For once I sat in the back of a car with Huang Lei, as A Ning's wife took the wheel with A Ning in the passenger's seat. I asked Huang Lei to come with me to Xiao Bai de Tian but he said he didn't like the boss there. Fair enough. At least I got a lift, and found Li Kun with his wife and two younger kids, his actual younger brother with his wife, and his fun colleague Haiyang.

Yet more ganbeis were had and I must have been more tipsy than usual as I can't remember if I table-hopped or not. Either way, Leilei wasn't there anymore so I didn't need to act too sober. One way or another we made it to well past midnight before deciding to call it a night. I think I got a lift home, though I'd have preferred to have the 5 minute walk. And then once back it was another little drink with a chat with Awl, and somehow I didn't sleep till 4am.

Li Kun's colleague Haiyang, his second daughter, his actual little brother's wife