Short trip to Nanning then a couple of late meals

I admit to sleeping in my own place rather than Lin Hong's last night...I've bloody paid for it so thought I'd better justify it. I got up too late for breakfast and not sure I'd had any lunch too before Xiao Nong pinged me to say she was having her hair done and we were to go to Nanning in a bit. Oh, fair enough, so something planned was actually going to happen. I barely had time to shower before she announced she'd arrived downstairs. Sure enough she shouted at me from a car as I walked to my bike to get my charger.

I really wish more people would take the train to Nanning rather than a bloody car. Not only is it cheaper, but so much faster, given we were going to the centre. But no, it was a car, and just the two of us so probably over £20 but hey. We got there, we walked around, and it was bloody warm with most people in tee-shirts. We walked past A Wu's hotpot place and I suggested getting food a bit later but as luck would have it she got a message to say there was no-one to look after her kids so we would have to go back in a bit...pretty typical I suppose but no complaining. It was a question of booking a didi che to some other place in Nanning to be picked up a few minutes later by another car that was going back to Pingguo and already had a mother and daughter inside.

Yuck...the golden arches in Nanning

A Wu was pinging me to go and eat with some friends on the way back but we first stopped off at mine and grabbed a needed bite to eat, and only at getting on for 9pm did I check with A Wu that he was still there and indeed he was so I left by myself and got there 10 minutes later. At least I got to where he'd sent the dingwei, it even had the name of the hotel. I walked into the hotel and confirmed this with the woman at the desk. But of course this wasn't correct, and it took a 5 minute video call with A Wu for him to finally locate me. Couldn't he have just sent a more accurate dingwei in the first place?

Well it was fine, and we walked around the back of the hotel until finally arriving at some rural looking shack that was apparently Boss Wei's place. As usual there were a couple of women accompanying about 10 pissed blokes, and as I was about 3 hours late it was slightly messy. I managed a few ganbeis with them before realising Tan had tried to call me 10 times this evening but I'd missed them all. So I called her back and explained I'd been busy (true) and now was with A Wu and Boss Wei. "Boss who?", oh, she didn't know him so I explained I'd known him since the summer of 2023 and the boys had eaten with him too. I even let her speak to him on the phone but I think she still didn't trust that he was safe. That's just the way it is.

First meal of the evening with Wei Laoban

Anyway we only stayed there for half an hour before A Wu announced we were going somewhere else, just the two of us. I was grateful that for once he decided it would be a good idea to walk there, I just didn't expect it to take over 20 minutes but he'd been drinking since 6pm and I hadn't really. But it ended up being a pretty fun meal outside some rural house except for the fact that I needed to relieve my bowels which wasn't much fun. But bloody hell I've done it enough times here now and I should be used to it. At least now I don't have to remove my trousers and boxer shorts.

And the final meal where I made some friends and played caima again as you do

Of course there was a lot of caima, and I finally felt a bit drunk, so eventually A Wu and I left and this time after 5 minutes on foot he scanned a couple of public electric bikes and we took those back to where I'd left my bike earlier. Li Kun had pinged me to go and have a drink with him but as it was already getting one for 1am he said he was on his way home. Fair enough. I'd had another wonderful day and evening in Pingguo and I think got back to my place relatively early to sleep, wherever that was.

"Moving" to Lin Hong's dad's place and late bite with Li Kun and friends

Lin Hong had sorted out her dad's place so I thought I'd better go over and bring my stuff there. I couldn't tell her about the place I'd already sorted out so took over minimal clothes and toiletries to echo the ones I have in my place, and resolved to stay there at least some of the time as she's made such an effort for me. Not just for this place but the last 21 years.

Unrelated but slightly amusing jing jiu...I hope it wasn't really from the deer

My new bedroom...could be worse though those curtains bleed light

Lunch and tea were both leftover duck leg, which was fine by me, and separated by a good 2-3 hour siesta. I'd been invited to eat with someone this evening but that was two days ago so I figured it wouldn't happen and I was right. I've been here long enough to know that things generally only go ahead if planned under 24 hours in advance. Indeed a bit later in the evening Xiao Nong pinged me to go to Nanning to "play". In all these years I've not found a better translation. It literally means "play" but also means "relax", or "walk about", I guess anything that isn't necessary or work. So of course I said I could, but knew there would only be a 50/50 chance of it happening.

So I bit later I popped in to see Li Kun for a cuppa but he was about to leave for a few minutes for some reason to do with music. I ended up chatting with a woman I'd seen before and had quite a "normal" chat for this neck of the woods. She didn't have children and I was almost surprised she didn't ask me to find her an English boyfriend as so many others have done. Presently Li Kun came back at about 11pm as did more people and we ate and chatted till the early hours as you do...

Having one of the few "normal" conversations in Pingguo

A bit more lively when Li Kun and friends got back a bit later

Big sausagefest

Woke up to find it wasn't that far from lunchtime so pinged A Wu to see if he wanted to go for a bite. Indeed he said he did and pinged a dingwei and said to meet him very soon of course. Blimey I was expecting to go and eat duck soup but we ended up at Shang hui. I've asked Tan about this. It literally means "chamber of commerce" and I've told her it clearly isn't and she agrees. But A Wu swears it's genuine.

Preparing food for later this afternoon

Well they were definitely gearing up for some big feast later in the day but A Wu and I just had a bowl of noodles and some meat and soup, and then I was allowed to leave but told to come back by 5pm which sounded suspiciously early. I went home to grab a shower and indeed by 4.30pm A Wu was already calling me to come over, so I left around 5pm got stuck in the worst Pingguo traffic jam I've ever encountered. Fair enough, 5.15pm is about the busiest time you can get, with people going home to eat, but even the dian dong ches were stuck.

Of course I received more calls but I got there around 5.30pm and it looked like people had been drinking for two hours or more. I was really not in the mood but had to do three cans' worth of ganbeiing till I had to explain "肚子胀了" (my tummy is bloated) and said I'd be back in 10 minutes as I needed a walk. Needed a break from the booze more like. It ended up being a half hour walk with just my City top on as it was still warmish. Back in Shang hui I managed a couple more ganbeis but still couldn't get into it. It was about four tables all with blokes around them save for a couple of token ladies.

A sausagefest

Then at 8.20pm Ma Yong pinged me to go over to his little shop to have a few drinks. Finally I was getting into the swing of things at Shang hui so said I should be able to make it a bit later. And indeed around 9.30pm I made my excuses to the red-faced gentlemen and drove over to Ma Yong's place. Apparently it was A Ning's son's birthday and they were having a party for him. Well, the kids were - in a different room - and I was given a slice of birthday cake which I actually ate because I couldn't eat most of the stuff at the previous meal.

Nicer late meal with mates

It ended up being a much nicer meal, with wives in tow as well and in general friendly faces. Much more enjoyable than the previous sausagefest. And because it was a kid's birthday party we didn't stay much beyond midnight so I had a relatively early night.

Late night, another performance, and wildcat

Jeez...a drunken Xiao Nong called me at 3.30am to take her "home" and of course I bloody agreed as that is what you do here. But it meant getting to sleep at nearly 5am and I had to be up at 9.30am for the dress rehearsal. And they bloody meant it. Lin Hong told me to go and fetch my guitar as I didn't think they'd need me to do such a practice (last year they didn't anyway) so I had the excuse to leave for a short while. It was rather surreal...four hours' sleep and having to play the guitar on stage in the late morning...but hey. I'd taken a Tramadol and was ok with it. I came back before midday and did my stint on the stage, but the guitar was not loud enough it seemed; the microphone was not close enough to it or something, and they didn't have a 10 metre cable to plug me in. So I said I'd try to find one.

I met Tan's ex-boss at the dress rehearsal

Of course that wasn't to be a big problem, and I should have worded the problem not as it was worded to me, i.e. "try to find a 10 metre guitar (3.5mm) cable". The problem was more "how can we connect the guitar to the sound system?". Because when I pinged Li Kun about the problem he proposed a wireless solution. Of course. So I let Lin Hong know I had a solution and Li Kun told me to pop around when I had time and he would charge them up.

I'd not had much sleep so after a meal of jiaozi at my local place went back for a small siesta and then practised 有没有人告诉你 with Xiao Nong and she said she had confidence in me, which helped quite a bit. Then it was already gone 6pm so I left with my guitar in tow and stopped off at Li Kun's to pick up the wireless transmitter and receiver. We had a quick test run and it seemed to work ok so I had high hopes for the actual stage.

Ah...a guitar and a laptop make a house a home...

Li Kun's excellent solution for the guitar issue

At 6.45pm I got a message from one of us presenters to hurry up to take my place so I told them I was on my way and 10 minutes later I turned up to see there were about 200 people already in the audience. I had the presence of mind to mention the wireless solution to the sound engineer and we did a quick test which meant me getting up on stage to ensure that the connection would work over the 8 metres or so between him and me. Even that was a little nerve-wracking but at least it bloody worked and I didn't have to sing anything. But next it was time to do the presenting....

Presenting all of the eight characters I had to say...

I knew I only had eight characters to say though and this time didn't need to translate them to pinyin. I also knew I was 24th out of 25 acts so I might have time a bit later for a bit of Dutch courage. Except when I saw the printout of the performances they'd "promoted" me to 5th on the list! Bloody hell. That would be about 15 minutes into the show and we were about to go on stage for the opening presentation. Well we had a couple of minutes to prepare and I was to be the first on stage, but wouldn't have to talk till for a minute or so. I guess having done this before in Bangxu made me a bit less jinzhang (nervous) but this was Pingguo so I felt a little bit of pressure. But the opening passed fine and I didn't screw up at least. Then I saw the semi-professional dancers and wondered what the hell I was doing here...they'd been practising for months and I learnt my song in a few days.

Luckily, I'd had the forethought to buy some jingjiu and happily admit to downing a little of it neat before I was due. It was not the most-prepared set in the world as they had to find a stool for me to sit on and set up the microphone at the right height. But I didn't rush. I introduced myself as husband of Bangxu woman who comes from the UK (me, not her), and said I would sing a Chinese song. And just bloody did it. It's not the easiest of songs and I tuned down the highest notes, but it got a better reception than the other acts and I realise of course it's because of my ethnicity rather than my talent. And afterwards I thanked everyone, said I loved Pingguo (true), and especially Bangxu (sort of true), which got another round of applause. And I walked off a very relieved man. I believe relief, or whatever the neurotransmitter is that it triggers, is the best drug, and I daresay related to whatever it is that is transmitted during an orgasm.

有没有人告诉你？

Lu zong had already invited me to go to his bar at 7pm tonight but I'd told him I mightn't be able to make it till a lot later, but at 9pm I noticed one of the presenters had left already, so I asked A Ge permission to leave and he said I could. So 10 minutes later I was in his bar in Jiangbin Lu again and this time I was happy to indulge in a few ganbeis as I'd been relatively good up till then. I didn't know too many of the people there be got on like a house on fire. What a strange expression.

Another great meal with Lu zong and mates

Anyway, it turned out that what I was eating was wildcat. I had to doublecheck that it wasn't doublespeech for something else but no, apparently it really was. I guess I felt like people who have eaten dog for the first time without realising it. Oh well, c'est la vie (except not for the wildcat). Lu zong got a bit drunk and was taken home soon after midnight and I think I followed pretty soon after. All-in-all a quite exhausting day but in a very nice way.

Wildcat meat...

A Wu's new car and first full day in new flat

Well it was a bit strange waking up in yet another bed, but hopefully I become used to this one. I'd slept well, and knew there was no chance of any family coming in. But I felt bad about Lin Hong who had sorted out her dad's place, so I resolved to spend some time there at least.

Around midday I pinged A Wu to go for a bite and he sent me a dingwei so half an hour later I turned up and gave him a call. It was at a BYD dealership and he was apparently having a test drive, so I walked about a bit to soak up some sun until he got back, when we had a chat with woman from the dealership about certain options, and which colour he'd like (a sort of greyish beige I wasn't too keen on). Then he sent me another dingwei and I presumed that was where we were to eat so I set off there and met him 10 minutes later. But it was just another BYD dealership where we were looking at the new model he was soon to buy. For someone deep in debt (according to Tan) he does seem to have quite deep pockets.

A Wu's soon-to-be new car (or at least this model)

Then Xiao Nong called to have something to eat and as I realised I could be waiting a while for A Wu I told him I had other arrangements for eating and that was totally acceptable. Ha, sometimes it works the other way round. So I picked her up and we ended up simply getting pao mian from the shop outside my new place and turning on the water dispenser so it fed boiling water for them. Sometimes the simple things in life are just fine. We had a couple of beers and afterwards I managed another siesta as you do.

In the evening I got some duck legs as you do and we maybe had a couple more beers. Much later Li Kun pinged me to go to KTV but as I knew I had to do my performance tomorrow I said I'd just come for half an hour. So much for that...I was back home at gone 2am and we needed to do a dress-rehearsal at 10am.

New flat sorted

Despite my relatively early night last night I didn't stir in time for breakfast and I think I had pao mian for lunch. But yeah I realised I had sorted out a flat for me for the next four weeks. I really appreciate Lin Hong's dad's apartment but don't feel comfortable there, so Xiao Nong helped me get in contact with someone and I saw this place for 800 kuai for a month so booked it there and then, and I should be able to move in today or tomorrow. It's a bit far away from the centre but still only about 7 minutes on the dian dong che. So now it was a question of sorting out more house stuff that would take the best part of a day.

So bedding, bowls, beer and other stuff not beginning with "b" were bought. But I'd also bought 15 sessions with a personal trainer and I wasn't going to waste them so I'd arranged a session at 3pm. I'm not massively impressed but more importantly it gets me to go to the gym and I'm not alone. Most people there are with mates and it feels slightly weird to be there by oneself.

I grabbed a shower at Jiuma's place as I don't have my stuff at Lin Hong's place, then rode down to the new flat to sign the contract. I was embarrassingly nearly half an hour late, but it didn't seem to be a problem. I hadn't thought about the length of stay but of course they don't do short-term rents so I negotiated a three-month contract, saying I'd extend it if I could, and though I doubt it will be possible I really hope I'm able to come back to take advantage of it.

In the evening Xiao Nong said to come out to KTV so I said ok but she just said she was waiting for Boss Zhou to send her the number of the room and I heard nothing after that. So typical for here...not even a simple "oh...maybe we won't be going" but instead radio silence. But I'm so used to it now I don't really care, and when Li Kun pinged me an hour later to go to the new bar on the 4th floor above the supermarket by the guangchang I had no qualms in accepting, as I was already somewhat in the mood to go out. In the mood to go out, but not to perform on the stage but one evening maybe I will. The thing on my mind though was in two evenings' time I'm due to perform on a proper stage in front of maybe a few hundred people. Anyway, it was a nice evening with not too much caima, and a relatively early night in my new place.

I quite like the LEDs at this new bar on the 4th floor

North-eastern dumplings and raucousness

Well clearly I wasn't up in time for breakfast but Li Kun pinged me at 9.53am to send me the money that had only finally come through well after 48 hours. Well at least it had come through.... At midday I asked if he wanted to eat and he responded by saying we'd go to Liang ge's place to eat North-eastern dumplings. Fair enough. He sent a dingwei and I said I'd be there in 25 minutes and was only 20 minutes late. Li Kun was there with his wife, and before long we were served with delicious starters before the dumplings. Of course Liang ge wouldn't let me pay afterwards but I'll definitely come back to be a paying customer in the future.

Li Kun's wife and Li Kun about to enjoy North-eastern dumplings

We went back to Li Kun's office afterwards to drink tea, but as I'd only had 4-5 hours' sleep I said I'd take a beer and get a nap in a bit. That was fine of course but of course more people turned up over the next hour. It was getting on for 3pm and I asked Li Kun when he had to get back to work but he seemed to say "soon" with a wave of the hand. I'd like his job. But I manly managed my way through two cans of 2.8% beer before excusing myself, and did indeed indulge in a bit of a siesta for a couple of hours.

Enjoying post-prandial tea (or beer in my case) with friends after lunch...does anyone work here?

Then Nong pinged me to eat beef as you do. I was grateful for having a plan again so told her I'd be there in an hour as I had to do boring house stuff like hang out clothes as you do. So I got there a bit later and of course muscle boss was there, as well as a few people I knew and didn't know. Well it was mighty fun until a guitar was thrust into my arms but I didn't thrust it back and managed a few tunes to their satisfaction. Paying for my supper yet again, but very happily again.

Nong (in the foreground) and friends for a music-riddled evening

Of course we played caima, and I ping Li Kun to come, which indeed he did 20 minutes later. It got nicely raucous and there was caima and dancing and laughs all round. But I knew my limits and around 12.30am I made my excuses and went home...possibly one of my earlier nights this year so far. At 1am Li Kun pinged me to say he was at another place and to come and join him but this time I was too done in and told him I'd just got home. One of the few decent decisions I've made here.

A bit raucous but very fun

Meal with hosts and KTV

It was weird and nice waking up in a new place. Not as nice and weird as my first morning this year in China but still....

Anyway after lunch Lin Hong pinged me to eat at 5.30pm with the other presenters. They really take this sort of thing seriously, which is totally fair enough. I've been put in a new Weixin group for this year and they were discussing how many lines I'd have to say. I'm guessing after last year they don't want me to have too many! Indeed they had only planned to let me introduce two acts which is fair enough and I said I'd be up for it.

In the end I got to the restaurant fashionably late as usual and the same people from last year were there except for one bloke who wasn't. The young woman is fabulously attractive, and I would wager would pass for one of the objectively most beautiful women in the world. Annoyingly, she is also one of those born leaders. She oozes confidence and I guess it's partly a result of pretty-privilege but she doesn't in any way use it to put others down. I predict she will be the first female premiere of China in the modern era.

A meal with us hosts to discuss the festival in a few days

I didn't care too much for beer, but A Ge ordered four bottles for the two of us. And the food was amazing so I didn't waste it by having any rice. We talked a little about the show on the 18th but didn't go into too many details; I guess it was more an excuse to get together for a nice nosh. Two more beers were ordered, or maybe it was four, but we didn't go to excess.

I had no plans for the evening but that changed when Nong pinged me to go to sing song at Miss You KYV at nearly 10pm. Well of course, why not? I said I'd be half an hour and turned up 45 minutes later after a couple of beers as I knew I'd have a microphone thrust into my hands before I'd have time for two more. And of course it was a fun time...more friends I knew turned up and it turned into another night that I put in the justification bank for coming back again this year. Looking at Weixin messages it looks like I got back at 3am to let her know I was home safely.... Surely I'm too old for this.

Surely I'm too old for this...

New place to live...

Well apparently it's not great that I'm living at Waipo's place as Jiuma and Tan are still in disagreements about the housing situation, so Tan told me to get in contact with Lin Hong about moving into her late father's two-bedroom flat. And a matter of hours later I was there. Hmm...no wifi and only one bar on the phone was not a good sign, but first world problems that can be fixed. Lin Hong already had an army of aunties cleaning out the place, though it had the signs that a hoarder had been living there and they didn't remove all the excess furniture. Still....

The bedroom of the flat I'm supposed to go to

and the ladies cleaning it out

A bit later I arrived at the gym to meet A Xia. We ended up arranging what I think is a very expensive 2980 kuai order of 15 hours of personal trainer time. The selling point was that any I didn't use, Tan could use when she's back in Pingguo, which may be May for Chuan Chuan's wedding. 

Includes 15 private lessons, 1 monthly family card, 1 fitness water cup. One-to-one tracking of diet plan, exclusive training plan, fitness emotion management, exclusive training area.

But I did it mainly because that was the excuse I gave Tan for my last-minute return to Pingguo. Maybe she'll learn now that I do listen to her. So the next thing was to send money to Li Kun so he could fund my Weixin account. But this was an expensive one as I needed money for the near future as well so sent 6000 kuai. At least that what I hoped. Normally it takes a few minutes to arrive but it hadn't arrived by the evening and I had to message the woman at the gym that I'd pay asap, but of course it wasn't an issue.

I met Xiao Nong for a bite to eat later and although wanted an early night that wasn't forthcoming of course.