Nice long walk and more afternoon and night time KTV

Well I didn't wake early enough to see off Tan and the kids but at 9am I did check to make sure they'd actually made it out of the house, as I had a big doubt they wouldn't have. But I was up now, and rather than go back to bed I decided I'd take another walk here while I can as it was rather overcast and not massively boiling.

I ate the remainders of the birthday cakes for energy and walked up Deng Xiaoping hill until I realised my thick shorts and cotton tee-shirt were really not the right attire as the former was chafing and the latter, by the time I got back down, was soaking. So I decided to walk home for a change of clothes. It was such a good idea to put on light shorts and top, and put some water in a bag to take with me. I walked up through the guangchang and followed the route I'd walked with Zhang Liangwen a few weeks ago. I decided I would make it 10km this time, so calculated I would have to walk 2.5km north of the guangchang before heading back.

View of the city from the top of the pagoda on Deng Xiaoping hill

Bloody annoyingly as I was nearly at the most northern point, I glanced up and saw a western person on a dian dong che. Damn, I've gone so long without this. He was mostly bald and had a beard, and I really hope he is one of the several new Brazilian coaches we've recently employed. And I saw him again when I headed south and then turned right, as he had started jogging, which gave me more hope he was involved in the sport.

But I now had a more pressing problem, down below, and I wondered how many minutes I could hold out as I was pretty much as far from the house as I've ever been on foot. So I sped up my walking...worst case I could probably use the loo of a shop so I wasn't overly worried except there were very few shops in this neck of the woods as the houses were still being built. But I just made it, and even dared get some jiaozi to take home. At the jiaozi place I bumped into Lu zong who said we were to go for a drink at his bar on Jiang Bing Lu tomorrow at 9pm, cool.

Our ant tree, but sadly the main "ant" bit has now been removed

They actually have a form of pinyin for the local language

The angry cat near the jiaozi place is getting bigger

My 11.36km route to the north of Pingguo

I only just managed to get my shoes and socks off before relieving myself on the squatter. Annoyingly the proper toilet is blocked again and it's not unblocking as easily as the last few times. Ahh, such relief.... I'd noticed Xiao Nong had sent me a message earlier at 11.45am but not had time to check. She asked if I was up and I answered that I was. Then she said how about going to KTV? When? 1-2 o'clock. What? Yep, she was going to go with her bestie she known since childhood. Well I'd had only 5+ hours' sleep and had just cracked open a beer to go with my jiaozi and a siesta and now had to make a decision. I decided to drink some cola and go for it. I thought seriously about grabbing 30 minutes of rest but I said I'd pick up food and drink and I know myself and that I wouldn't be that quick. I also ate all my jiaozi as I'd managed 11.36km in the end with only that tiny bit of cake as sustenance.

She said it was just one friend and her kids, but you never know how many people will turn up, so at Guanmart I bought some extra beer and more food than last time. And like last time I bought a box of cold yellow Li Quan 4.1%ers from the local shop while she was asking where I was. So I turned up fashionably late and she was the only one there with her youngest son, and it was like that for another half an hour till her bestie turned up. After an hour or so of beers I finally got round to singing a couple of songs, much to Xiao Nong's appreciation, and we stayed till getting on for 6pm when it was decided we'd go to eat.

So to the underground mall it was to the place we ate last year, for won ton, which Xiao Nong's son threw up under the table of course. I picked up some tea for me and the kids, and after that it was goodbye to her friend and kids, and over to the hospital for Xiao Nong's son's drip after dropping off the rest of the food and beer at her place. I let him watch cartoons on my phone as Xiao Nong slept for 45 minutes or so, then we were off again to another place when the drip was done. Some friend or another I guess, and we sat down to restart on the beer. This went on till about midnight when I heard that we were going to another KTV.

And indeed we did, for at least another hour. Then around 2am I went to take her home but she'd forgotten her keys. We thought they were at the previous place but no, nothing there, so went back the the KTV where fortunately we found them, but then we were taken to another room for more beers and I ended up playing the dice game with one of the women there. I think I finally got her home at well gone 2.30am.

Gym and Tan's birthday

Happy Birthday Tan!

I didn't have a present for her as I thought it would be nicer to have a meal with friends later (obviously unplanned), but A Xia is away and Tan wasn't really in the mood. Well I guess 51 is not a major celebration anywhere...

At least, for the first time in too long, after a tiny bowl of noodles and yoghurt (not mixed) I finally forced myself to go to the gym just before 2pm and made it an hour session. With only just over a week to go I need to make the most out of this. Back home I was hungry after my shower so probably shouldn't have cracked open that beer, but it felt rather justified.

Still don't trust the distance on the elliptical

There was precious little to eat though, and I didn't really want the carby zongzi, so I opened a pack of sunflower seeds and snacked on them while I pinged Li Kun about the order of the suits in the nine-grid card game last night. I had remembered correctly, it was 黑桃、红心、梅花、方块 (Spades, Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds), and probably applies to other Chinese card games. I also found out he didn't get home till 4am, but he is on holiday this week so fair enough.

At 4.45pm Xixi arose to tell me to get mama a cake. Ah yes, I'd forgotten about that. She said she was nearly ready to go so half an hour later we rode down to Guanmart to pick up some stuff for their journey tomorrow plus we ended up buying two small cakes at the bakery as they didn't have any big ones (we should have ordered days in advance really). Then, once back we decided to go to Xiao Tang zong for our meal, except for Leilei who'd decided to go to Li Kun's and eat elsewhere. It was a nice spicy dish and afterwards Xixi decided to go home with me while Tan went to see Laoma for a chat.

Shopping with Xixi and her coloured hair

Stroppy birthday! It's ok, we're all on our phones while waiting for food...

It can't have been much of a chat as she was home 20 minutes later, but at least it meant we could do the cake. And they do do good cakes here, that even I can eat. So light and fluffy and not even that sweet. I had one slice of each. As they had booked a didi che for 8.10am tomorrow they needed to try to get an early night though I have a suspicion most of the sleeping will be done on the train. An although I was tempted to go to get some bbq I decided at 11pm I'd stay at home and not disturb. I'd done my job of sending GBP via Wise to Li Kun's WeiXin and he'd sent it to me in time for me to send it to Tan before sleep. Although it took a worrying hour or so to come through, as recently it's been as quick as 2 minutes. First World problem ultimately.

Taking a photo of taking photos of gorgeous Chinese birthday cake

No gym but meet Li Kun and end up at Xiao Bai de Tian again

Oh no! We've run out of the Coffee-Mate I brought over. This meant a trip to Guanmart in the morning to pick some up where I also stocked up on 雪花啤酒 as you do. Plus four more dragon fruit for Tan to take to Chongqing the day after tomorrow with the kids. I did suggest she might be able to pick them up there but she said she didn't want to waste time there. I daresay you wouldn't waste any time finding a street vendor selling them in Chongqing instead of lugging 2kg's worth of fruit for eight hours. Except I didn't dare say that.

For the ninth time out of the last 10 days I went out to get fen for Tan, now she's on a streak of about five days, of 猪杂老友粉,微辣, which literally translates as pig offal rice noodles, slightly spicy. 微辣 is a useful term I've strangely only learnt this summer, and is often used to apply to bbq too especially if kids will be having some. I picked up a couple of portions of xiaolongbao too hoping that the kids would partake, and managed a whole portion to myself hoping it would incentivise me to go to the gym. I shouldn't need such an incentive; the copious beers from the previous day should be enough. And I probably would have gone had Tan made the effort but her bum was hurting from yesterday's session (in the gym), and I found I still needed to be quite close to the toilet for other bum-related issues. So sadly in the end I ended up not going either. It must be two weeks since the last time now.

To make up for it I did manage a session of dumbbells at least for half an hour or so before a shower and a thirst-quenching Snowflake beer. My appetite was back, but the kids had still barely stirred so I had the second portion of xiaolongbao for tea and Tan ordered pizza and chips for the kids as it would get them out.

I thought of going to see Zhang Hua but ended up first pinging Li Kun to see what he was up to as I'd not seen him in four days. "Drinking tea" of course, so I suggested I bring over a few beers and he said to come over. I bought a box of 12 beers and the old shopkeeper asked me if they were for myself and I said no of course, I was going to meet some friends. So he advised me to buy another box. I think he genuinely meant that as advice rather than trying to sell more wares, and he was right. I didn't know how many people would be there and turning up with 12 is not the way we do it here. If I'm going to identify in any way as being Chinese then I have to get these sorts of things right. And blimey it was only 120 kuai after all.

I turned up to find only Li Kun, little man, and another bloke there. Only little man was drinking beer as usual, but he opened one of my boxes and poured me and Li Kun a beer. Li Kun was busy playing a fighting game on his phone as usual, and although it's mostly Chinese you often hear "enemy slain!", so I made sure he understood such phrases. Then, after a while at getting on for 11.30pm he said he had a message from Xiao Bai de Tian's husband who said he was a little bored as there weren't many people in the bar and to come over for a drink. So Li Kun and I took our bikes there and indeed there was only one table with guests, so we sat with him and Xiao Bai for a couple of drinks and to play a card game called 九宫格 (nine-grid).

This time, finally, the rules were really straightforward; Xiao Bai dealt nine cards in a 3x3 oblong. She explained that Ace was low and King was high except black and white joker was higher and colour joker was higher than that, with the extra card you sometimes get being the absolute highest. The idea was simple: the player whose turn it is points at any of the cards and say "big" or "small", or rather it would be "higher" or "lower", and the dealer lays a card from the rest of the pack on top. If you are right you have the option of having another go, or passing to the next player. If you are wrong you pick the pile of cards. The exception is that if you are right but the card is a 7 or 8 you are obliged to guess again. There is an order to the suits and I know trumps are highest but can't remember the rest of the order.

The end of the game is when the last pile has been picked up. Now come the forfeits: for every 10 cards in your hand you have to drink a glass of beer, but you have to round up, so 5 to 9 becomes 10, 15-19 becomes 20 etc. Secondly, those damn jokers and the special card count for an extra glass each, so you want to be careful about choosing piles you know have these cards. It's an incredibly fun drinking game that I was incredibly unlucky at, much to the mirth of the others, and I'll definitely bring it back to the UK.

Xiao Bai's husband was obliged to do a couple of songs by the one table that had guests, so we had more live entertainment

Xiao Bai bought us lots of bbq including beef ribs that I've not seen on a skewer before. By 1am Li Kun pinged Tan to tell her not to lock the door as I was with him, but I left at 1.30am anyway and he said if there was any issue I could stay with him. But I pinged Leilei and Xixi came to unlock the door 5 minutes later so no real problem.

Waterless walk up 马头山, two good deeds, and a late bite

Up 9ish for a change, but I still couldn't stomach breakfast, so to burn off some excessiveness from the last few days and weeks I decided at 11.15am to do something I haven't done in about 10 years and walk up Horse Head Mountain. And to walk there instead of taking the dian dong che. It was a good idea but imperfectly executed. Although it was rather overcast, after 5 minutes of walking the sun burst out and I hadn't put on any sunscreen, so I had to keep under the overhangs of the shops to get as much shade as possible. Then when I got to the base I found the normal entrance boarded up. I walked around and found another one boarded up too. I had to walk around to a mini guangchang to find an actual way in, and totally forgot to pick up some water before mounting the stairs.

I'd forgotten how much the relentless steps can take it out of you, but resolved to carry on, with or without water. Well, without. It took a while and a couple of pauses but I managed it, and found a dad and his two sons there wearing sandals as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I forced myself to continue on the path to the pagoda and just made it to the top of that, shaking at the effort. I noticed a young couple each with a bottle of water and nearly asked for a sip but I knew now that the rest of the mountain steps would be downhill and I should make it, which I did and treated myself to a 5 kuai bottle of vitamin water before walking back a more direct route. Back home, despite having walked nearly 7.5km I still wasn't that hungry and only had a bit of leftover duck and chicken that Tan had brought back from a meal with Huang Chun two days ago.

View of the pagoda from the highest point of 马头山

The ever-changing Pingguo skyline

You can't even see our old place from here anymore

Ha, the house we stayed at in 2009...memories of relentless music emanating from the mobile phone shops

Unfortunately Xiao Nong's youngest son of 3 is in hospital with 喉咙长泡 that translates to "blisters in the throat". I guess there's an English term for it but I can't find it. She pinged me at 2pm to say she was shattered (困) and I asked how her son was. Apparently as she been going to get some food he'd been administered more medicine so she'd had to stay so was also starving, so of course I offered my assistance. She said she feared I wouldn't find her but sent me a dingwei anyway. At least the hospital was only 300 yards away. After a shower it proved harder to find the 粥 she wanted as not that many eating places do it and anyway it was getting on for 3pm so a lot of stuff was sold out. But luckily the fourth place had some so I brought that plus some drinks plus some yoghurt from home. I saw a message asking me to get some baby oil and some wipes from the mother and baby shop outside the hospital and indeed found the oil with the help of the assistant, but there were choices so I sent a picture but she said she wanted 喷水 which means one with a spray thing on top. Then she just video called and spoke to the assistant which made sense as she needed one that had certain medicinal qualities that I wouldn't have understood.

She'd sent written instructions on how to find her son's bed, so I showed these to the receptionist and told me to go to another building opposite. Fair enough, I went there and showed the receptionist the instructions and she pointed to a lift, so up I went to the 3rd floor. The instructions were once out of the lift to turn left and then left again. Simple, but it just led to a dead end with toilets. So I turned around and found a nurse, who told me I was in the wrong building, and to take the bridge back to the original one. Once there another nurse told me I was on the wrong floor, and to go upstairs. Finally, when I got to the top I heard 明哥 (I think), and it was her calling me. Had the first receptionist just told me to take the lift near the first entrance I'd have been there 5 minutes earlier, not that it really mattered. Her poor little kid had a lot of dressing on that she, despite her hunger, focused on changing first while he watched 动画片 (cartoons) on his pad, before feeding him the 粥 first.

So having done my good deed for the day I left 40 minutes later as I noticed my top was a bit smelly. It was washed but probably brought in before fully dry and had a dank, musty smell. So once changed, it was a trip to Guanmart again to get the tissues and other stuff I forgot yesterday, and top up a bit on beer as I only have the 4.1% stuff left in the fridge and need something weaker. As I'd missed the gym yet again I did some weights at home for a while. I think I waited till well after 5pm before succumbing to a cold one, which then sparked my appetite a little and my tea was a duplicate of lunch, with a beer providing the carbs to make it "balanced".

I pinged Haiwei to apologise for not coming back last night and he told me they were drinking till 1am in the end. Then he said to go to the CBD office/shop I'd been to a couple of times before, to have a drink at 8pm. It was 7.30pm by now so I said "ok", and managed to get there at 8.30pm. There were a handful of people there and not that much to eat other than marinated chicken claws and duck stomach and the ever-present peanuts. But it was quite good fun and for once everyone was speaking fairly standard Mandarin most of the time, and I could follow the majority. We stayed till the beer, wine, and gongwenbao were finished and though it would have been a few taps on the phone to get more we decided to call it a night soon after 11pm.

Another social evening with Haiwei and friends

On my way back I passed by Huang's Beihai Haixian place and saw him there so went to say hello, but I didn't make it passed the table full of people who bade me sit down and eat and drink with them. That was quite good fun and I got a little tipsy with them before Huang said he had to go home. Just before midnight I told Xiao Nong I was going home in a bit and did they want anything to eat as I was only 150 yards away? Yep, but she didn't know what. I suggested bbq but no, then after a while (half an hour at least) of to'ing and fro'ing I said I'd get seafood zhou as there was a large bowl of it on our table so she said yeah, and then yeah to bbq too. But in the end the latter would have taken too long so I got a fresh bowl of zhou cooked for her and a can of cola and a bottle of water and enforced 25 kuai on the boss who only wanted 10. I explained that I'd been eating and drinking their stuff for the last half an hour or so but it doesn't work like that here. Anyway, I'd paid and there was nothing she do.

Back at the hospital for the second time today (technically the first as it was gone midnight) I did my second good deed of the day (technically first) and delivered the stuff and didn't stay more than 5 minutes as they were getting ready for bed, and by now it was already beyond curfew and Leilei was asking where I was.

Lunch and sport with A Wu and son, tea with alcohol boss, then meal with Haiwei

Well I had no call in the morning to play sports with A Wu, but this was more than expected. It had meant I'd taken my phone off silent though, so kept receiving calls from people I don't know that I never answer. But I managed to doze on and off (thanks to no drilling this morning) till getting on for lunch, when I thought I'd ping A Wu to see if he'd eaten. In typical style he replied with a video from the place that does duck fen and said to hurry up and come over. Well this wasn't really that unexpected though he could have invited me like a few minutes before or something. I wasn't going to bother with a shower yet so thought "why not?" and drove over there where my portion was waiting at the counter, so I added some spring onion and chilli as you do and sat down with him and his second son, Li Yun, for much more than I could really eat.

Duck leg and breast fen for lunch

I noticed that for once, A Wu left some of his noodles. I've noticed his stomach is a bit more protruding than before, so maybe he's noticed and doing something about it. Li Yun, on the other hand finished every last bit. I maybe managed a third of my noodles but finished the duck breast and leg easily. Ok, so in a bit we were to go to his apartment complex and play badminton and table tennis just as we'd done before. Cool. I'd go home to change and get my bat and take that crap that had been boiling up over the last few minutes.

Of course when I got there half an hour later they were not about so I went to his house to find him cooking. He said to speak English to Li Yun, which wasn't easy as he had a vocabulary consisting of a few colours, a few fruits, and "my name is" and "I'm fine thanks, and you?". But I did what I could for 20 minutes or so before Li Yun and I went outside to play badminton. I had had the foresight to bring sun cream and definitely needed it, except after a few minutes of playing under the sun Li Yun said it was too hot and we then played in a narrow strip under the trees.

Playing badminton with Li Yun in a strip of shade

After a while he said it was too tiring (he was by now sitting on a bench hitting shots back to me) so we went to the children's playing area where they have table tennis tables with metal nets. We played for 15 minutes before A Wu finally came down to take his place. This is sadly only the second time I've played table tennis this time in Pingguo, and it hardly counts. We then moved on to badminton, using the exercise machines as nets, and for the first time in a while I did better than him, doing trick shots behind my back that he tried to copy with little success but with much laughter. But the heat had sapped out most of our energy so after 15 minutes we called it a day. He pointed to a building behind us and said that tonight we'd be drinking there. I said that should be fine and that I'd go over after eating with Haiwei.

So I got back and grabbed a shower after 4pm, after which I got a message from 小娟, the woman who works at the alcohol shop, to come over and drink tea. Haiwei had just pinged me to ask if 7pm would be ok to eat, so as it had just turned 5pm that gave me the time to tell her sure I'd be able to pop over in half an hour (after a quick 3.3% can). So I duly did, and she was there with a couple of friends indeed drinking tea. I thought they were playing mopai so joined in only to find it was a completely different game I didn't know how to play. I duly lost, but my forfeit was to drink a glass of water which was quite fitting as the A/C was putting out a pathetic amount of cool air and everyone was complaining about it and sweating.

It turned out it was the boss's daughter's birthday, and a cake turned up, then food, then more food, then the table was put out as more and more people arrived. Oh no, I mentioned I had another meal to go to but the boss lady said "you are eating here, right?". They'd assumed that I would be, while only inviting me for tea. On another evening I'd have been pleased as punch, but I apologised and I think they understood I'd already been invited out. Not that it stopped them asking me to eat a few more times, and giving me a rose...oh shit, it's Chinese Valentines' day today! At well gone 7pm I left them saying I'd come back later if they were still around, and they said most of them should be.

Preparing for the boss's daughter's birthday meal outside the alcohol shop

Of course I got a call from Haiwei when I was driving to the youcha place by the guangchang where he was eating. Well not just eating but when I arrived he was doing the cooking too. So we ended up waiting 20 minutes for the food to be prepared. I wasn't complaining in the least but I could have spent that time at the other place having a perfunctory bowl of something and maybe a glass of wine. But the meal was great of course, and only his younger son was there who wasn't too interested in speaking with me in English, preferring his phone games of course.

Great meal with Haiwei and son and friends

After one beer Haiwei moved onto the gongwenbao when some other bloke turned up with two bottles of the stuff. The other cook stated he wasn't drinking today, and Haiwei's girlfriend, 李宝丽, and her best friend weren't drinking as they were both on medicine. Well I got some English out of second son, and lots of Mandarin from the others, until at around 10pm I'd literally had enough beer, and said I'd try to pop back later but was honest about meeting up with 小娟 by using the jokey excuse that there were many beautiful ladies there, and it was accepted with a "see you later" goodbye.

Unfortunately 小娟 had left, presumably to take care of her young kids, but I was welcomed by all and had to ganbei quite a few glasses of red wine which at this stage was more welcoming than beer. The bloke to my right had a lit cigarette in his right hand and an unlit one in his left. He slowly bent over while sitting and I could tell he'd fallen asleep, so I took the lit fag from his hand and threw it away thoughtfully. I do like the way it's totally acceptable to fall asleep at table though, a little bit like burping at a Japanese meal (if that's true) to show that you've appreciated what the host has done.

But I only stayed 20 minutes or so as A Wu and his mates were waiting. He had a jokey go at me for being so late but I told him I'd just been with some beautiful women and what would he have done? And to be fair when I got there it was a sausage fest of half naked, drunken men, and might have been more fun had it not been contrasted to the last place I'd been. I managed to leave around midnight and had no inclination to go anywhere else, and got home and fell asleep to S2E2 of Breaking Bad so I'm going to have to watch it again.

The last meal of the day was a bit of a sausage fest

A less exciting day...

Why is it almost every day, at any time, there's so much drilling? I mean this building is about 15 years old. I know now and again you have to fix things but every bloody day? It was another day I'd not had much sleep and woken up after about 5 hours and not been able to get back to sleep easily due to this....

After yesterday's shenanigans today was almost the most boring day ever, not that any day is. At least I managed some weights at home as I couldn't pull myself to the gym as I still had some ladu. Lunch and tea were xiaolongbao from the place diagonally opposite our place. Normally the kids wolf them down but lately they've been getting up late afternoon. Xixi said that Leilei often goes to the stadium at 5am and I can believe it. I'm not sure what I can do to stop this as I'd probably be doing the same at his age. At least he's not drinking alcohol.

But the xiaolongbao were barely touched so I finished them off after the weights, when Haiwei pinged me to go and eat with him tomorrow and speak English with his sons. Fair enough, speaking English, singing, and generally being a foreigner who speaks the lingo often get me a nice free meal, and I guess I entertain enough or I wouldn't be invited back. So went for piano practice a bit late after 8pm. Annoyingly for the last 25 minutes the C♯ key, or I suppose in context it should be D♭, stuck. It was annoying because I was practising The Easy Winners and the C section (as in AABBACCDD typical in ragtime) has five ♭. I don't even know what key that makes it, though I'm sure I could work it out. In fact the whole piece is in either four or five ♭ so the D is mostly ♭. But it really knocked me out of my rhythm in the C section. I'll have to find a different piano next time, or maybe go digital like home. Afterwards I picked up a bit more beer and washing liquid and hand tissues as you do.

Back home I thought I'd pay a visit to Zhang Hua again, or maybe Li Kun. It was a Friday night after all so Li Kun should be up for it. But after a couple of beers I was also 困 (kun, tired), and while I could have forced myself out I decided for the first time in a while to stay at home. Even Tan, at gone 11pm, was surprised I wasn't going out. It wasn't beyond the bounds of possibility of course, if someone I liked had called me to go out, but for once they didn't, and I had a quite enjoyable evening in re-watching Breaking Bad.

Except A Wu called me at 12.15am wanting me to come over to his to drink. I thought about it, but it wasn't worth the risk/hassle, but I knew now he was back in Pingguo so we arranged to play sports in the morning, then snooker in the afternoon, then do something later. I explained that I wouldn't be around for much in the evening due to Haiwei but the sports and snooker (snooker is a sport?) would be good. And it would give me an incentive to get up a bit earlier that usual.

Afternoon and night KTV with Xiao Nong

Woke up briefly at 6.30am after three hours' sleep to hear a message from a presumably drunken Xiao Nong that simply said "！？？？". I ignored it and went back to sleep till nearly midday, when I heard and saw another message from her asking if I was up yet. I said I'd just got up and asked if she'd eaten as you do, but didn't hear anything back, as you don't. Then, two and a half hours later she pinged to say she'd just got up, and ask if I was with friends as we were going to sing song. What? I jokingly asked at what time and she seriously replied "now" and sent a dingwei. It wasn't yet 3pm, but I thought "why not?" and said I'd be a few minutes. She said to bring six cans of beer, the yellow Li Quan ones that are 4.1% as she likes the taste, and a bag of sunflower seeds.

Fair enough, I grabbed a shower and missed a couple of her calls and picked up the only cold crate of yellow Li Quan in the local shop. Thoughtfully, I asked the shopkeeper to put in one more crate, lest we run out (a crate is only six 1 litre cans that have a bottle top, so I'm not really sure they're cans or bottles, cottles?). I met her on the third floor and she scolded me for not having taken the lift all the way, which is what anyone else would have done had they known where it was. Inside room 306 was just one bloke and his daughter, so we sat down for a ganbei. It really is the best tasting Li Quan, but at 4.1% not the safest for drinking games.

Yellow Li Quan beer at KTV at 3.30pm...as you do

And indeed after a couple more ganbeis, a woman turned up and we started to play mopai. The bloke had early only been taking sips while Xiao Nong and I were ganbeing, but started to lose, meaning sometimes drinking one or two glasses at the end of the round. Xiao Nong also was losing quite a bit. The other woman and I were doing ok though and I was starting to get a bit thirsty. Well Xiao Nong was starting to get a bit drunk and just as I was about to suggest it, the next time she lost she suggested I share her drink. Yes, a win-win! And by now the bloke who had been previously sipping his drink was saying "oh yeah, come on baby!" whenever someone else lost. I told him that the more he drank, the more his English came back, but then realised it might sound like bad advice for language learners. Lord knows it does work to some extent though.

We were now down to the last bottle, so I said I'd go and pick up another crate, and promised I'd be back in ten and a bit minutes. I'd earlier told Tan that I was going to the supermarket and would have done earlier if not running late, so took the opportunity to go to Guanmart to pick up her red dragon fruit, plus some more food for the KTV. Unfortunately they didn't have the yellow Li Quan in the fridge, and I had my doubts about how cold the ones in the local shop would be after only two hours in the freezer. And indeed as I got there I found they'd put four crates of warm beer together in the freezer and even the bottom one was barely cool to the touch.

Back in the KTV room there were now a couple more women and another kid, but Xiao Nong was leaning against a cushion looking a bit the worse for wear. The food was appreciated, especially by the kids, but the beer wasn't as it was clearly barely above room temperature. As the bloke was going to ask about getting ice cubes, Nong fell fast asleep against me. We'd stopped playing cards now, no-one was singing, and just music was playing and we were chatting. The women gave Xiao Nong a bit of a slap on the legs and arms to wake her up but she was out cold. I said it was fine and to let her rest. We chatted for another 20 minutes or so, and ate most of the food I brought, but then it was time for those with kids to take them home so everyone else went home telling me not to forget to bring home the beer, and me telling them I'd not forget to make sure Xiao Nong was ok, and take her home when she awoke.

Which wouldn't be for a while, after which one of the workers came in and I explained the situation. I understood that we'd paid for a certain slot, but wasn't sure if there was a specific time we had to be out. He said something about there being a break between afternoon sessions and evening sessions, and could he clear the table? Of course he could, just don't take the beer! I tried to rustle Xiao Nong from her slumber but she wouldn't rouse until a good hour after everyone else had left. Finally she did, got up for a bit then promptly fell asleep against me again. I let her have five minutes and really had to force her after that. But she made it, said she felt a little sick and went to the toilet but I didn't hear any retching.

I got her home safely and realised I was hungry. For the last hour I wasn't able to reach the table for any food or the one opened beer bottle. Thinking back I should just have moved her off me but at that time I didn't want to awaken her as she obviously needed the sleep. I realise now she'd have been oblivious if I'd just plonked her onto the sofa and poured myself a drink waiting for her to wake up. It had been a weird afternoon, and I was in that tired and uncomfortable window of having had a few drinks, then nothing for 90 minutes. So I drove north and thought I'd find myself an area on my own and have a bite to eat and a cold beer.

I drove up to where I'd had a meal with Li Kun's colleague the other week and found a little shop where I bought two cans of weak Li Quan and a packet of crisps. But whereas in London I'd have no issue finding a bench somewhere and having my can, here it just seemed wrong. People don't eat alone, let alone drink alone. While I was driving through some dark back streets I got a message from Xixi that they were eating at the same western food place as the other day. That gave me some direction at last. I said to order the Thai rice and I'd be there in 20 minutes.

I was starving though, so back home I ate most of the bag of crisps and drank half a can of beer as I didn't want to be too late, and arrived to find Tan on the phone in front of her spaghetti and Xixi just starting her pizza. She been craving cheese recently and this is one of the only place we can find any. I had my Thai rice and by the time I'd finished Tan had only just got off the phone. But I didn't want to stay for desert, so said thanks and I'd see them a bit later, and went home to finish my beer.

A bit later Xiao Nong pinged to apologise to say she'd drunk a lot and was sorry. I was slightly confused as I first read it as "I have drunk a lot, I'm sorry", and without any other information that's what it would have meant (i.e. at this present moment I am drunk). But what she actually meant was "I had drunk a lot (earlier), I'm sorry". I told her not to be so polite and not to be sorry. Then, half an hour later, she sent a message saying she wanted to go for a drink. Ha...well I was ok but that but she asked if I had any friends who would come but I said they had to work tomorrow and it was too late as it was already nearly 10.30pm. She said she was with her sister's kids, so I suggested going to Xiao Bai de Tian. She asked what if there were too many people, so I just answered we'd go next door. But a few minutes later she asked if we could go somewhere else and have bbq fish. Yes, of course.

So during a call with Mat I met her and her sister's kids, a bloke of 17, driving the dian dong che, and a woman of 16 sitting behind, with Xiao Nong in front. We ended up going to Miss You KTV. It seems this is the sort of place she prefers. We went to a public room with booths that I'd not seen the like of before, and ordered the fish and beers and other foods. Try as I might, the beer would not pour and I found it was mostly ice, so we had to return some. I found it interesting how the kids were quite willing and able to drink beer like anyone else. Then Xiao Nong said the kids would prefer to go to a private room to sing songs so presently we moved across the corridor to one of them, just the four of us.

I had no appetite to eat though, despite, or because of having stuff thrust into my mouth. So we played a few games of 0, 5, 10, 15 ,20 or whatever its proper name is, and I didn't do too well, but I was pretty sober so it didn't matter. Apparently we got another 12 cans of beer for free, so I was slightly glad when another bloke turned up at 1am to help us out with some ganbeis and caima. 1am, the bloody curfew. Sod it, I was out enjoying myself and I would stay a little longer. A little longer turned into 2.30am, by which time we'd finally finished the beer and agreed to leave, although there was talk of getting more.

So that was it, another very full and "interesting" day and night in Pingguo. At home the door was indeed locked but I pinged Xixi to open it and of course she was up and opened it seconds later. I wasn't as tired as I should have been and Mat was up so we had another chat about how weird life can be here sometimes. Xiao Nong also pinged me to say that her nephew and niece were up playing games on their phones and she couldn't get to sleep. That made two of us.

Haiwei's son's birthday and a bit more late KTV

Again, I wasn't feeling good enough to go gym due to ladu. Haiwai pinged me to eat tea at his family's house at midday so that was the evening meal sorted. I only had three xiaolongbao for lunch then played with Tan Shiyun before Jiuma unexpectedly said they were going back to Baise and that was that. I may well not see them again for a year or so.

Tan Shiyun looking like she'd half-inched a pint glass from the local

So at 6pm I left to picked up a watermelon on the way to Haiwei's err...mum's? I'm not really sure. I was going to pick up the biggest one and asked the vendor on the side of the road if it was ripe but he said "no" and started slapping various ones until he found one that sounded ripe enough. I've seen buyers do this before but not vendors. He decided on one for 27.8 kuai and it was the first time I've ever spent a fraction of a kuai on WeiXin.

It was a much better than average meal, with large "black tiger" prawns, or at least that's what they translate to, plus roast chicken etc. Haiwai was saying that this meal would have cost 1000 kuai in a restaurant, but cooking at home made it less than half price. Both his sons were there, the elder with two of his best mates, and the younger playing on his phone and barely putting two words of English together. After the customary 15 minutes of eating, Haiwei opened a bottle of red for himself and beers for elder son and one of his mates and me. I asked the elder son if he was driving tonight and he pointed to the mate next to him. Ah good...they were responsible enough to have a designated driver.

Lovely birthday meal for Haiwei's elder son in the blue

Then, after we'd had a couple of beers the elder son, I've got to remember his name, said it was his birthday today. I chastised Haiwei for not telling me and he laughed and said to ganbei of course. The ganbeis continued as we moved on to caima, during which I beat his son several times in a row and he got quite red-faced. In the end Haiwei finished his bottle of wine and we finished the beer. The lady of the house was about to open my watermelon but we said not to as we were full and we didn't want it to go off (I guess it was too big to put in the fridge). So it was the end of an excellent and jolly meal during which I did manage to speak a reasonable amount of English with the elder son, despite him being with his two mates who didn't understand a word.

Me doing rather well against Haiwei's elder son at caima

Elder son's mate, elder son's other mate (dd), Haiwei's elder sister's daughter, elder son, me, younger son

A bit later I went for a walk to the guangchang and bumped into Tan and Xixi eating bbq at where other than Tianyang Po's. They were just finishing but had loads left, and as I'd just turned up I was to pay and take the rest home. Great timing. But I continued to the guangchang and met who I think is called Ranran but I don't know. She was with a friend and her kid so I managed to offload a little bit of bbq to him, before going home to chill. Then Xiao Nong pinged to go to KTV asked if I had friends to go with, as it would be me inviting I suppose. I thought about asking a couple of people but it was already late and I knew they'd be working tomorrow so I told her and said we could meet for a drink instead, but heard nothing back. Then, in true Pingguo style, at midnight Ranran pinged me to say she'd been dragged to a KTV to celebrate a friend's birthday. Knowing my 1am curfew I said I could make it but only for 40 minutes.

So I got to the "Party" KTV place, which is in the same car park area as "Miss You" KTV and "Calorie" KTV, and she came down to get me. Why they wait till midnight to invite me I don't know. Do they have to reach a certain level of inebriation to do this (to be fair Xiao Nong had pinged me at 9.30pm)? Is not like it's daring or anything. I hadn't had time to grab another beer before leaving so was happy to do a few ganbeis with people who had clearly been doing that for some hours. It looked like the beer was running out so Ranran poured me a rather unwelcome glass of gongbaowen and I sipped on that for the next few minutes as we played caima.

I said hello to the birthday girl who was clearly sozzled, then went to another room. Blimey, they weren't messing about there. A very portly bloke stood up, took the empty glass out of my hand, and picked up two (probably 330ml) cans of beers and shoved one in my hands before opening and chugging his. I managed it, but rather slower. Then it was back to glasses to ganbei a couple of the ladies, before the same bloke reached down for two more cans of beer. I bet he could put away a fair few, but as I was getting mine down me I realised it was 12.55am and I felt a bit like Central Europe Cinderella (an hour ahead, no it doesn't make sense, and anyway I'm in China). I didn't have time for goodbyes, so walked to the door without looking back and beat a quick exit, getting home just a couple of minutes after 1am. Of course I had a missed call from Ranran, and I got back to her apologising, but saying next time let me know a bit earlier please!

小猪佩奇 and more Zhang Hua bbq

After a lunch of mantou and yoghurt it was again too hot to do anything meaningful outside so I stayed with Tan Shiyun and we ended up watching Peppa Pig (小猪佩奇) which was quite fun in Mandarin and I could probably understand a bit more than half. Peppa Pig turned into Paw Patrol which was a bit tougher, so I left her watching it while I put the washing on. Then, a few minutes later the electricity went. Jiuma asked me if I'd paid the bill and the honest answer would have been "no" as Tan had, but to the best of my knowledge it had been paid. I was halfway through writing a message to Ling Ming to check if we needed to top up when I thought I'd check the fuse box. Yep, one of the switches had tripped. There had been three A/C units on in the house and I guess the washing machine was the last straw.

小猪佩奇

Annoyingly, that meant after resetting the switch Jiuma didn't want to start the A/C again, and I had to restart washing clothes. Could have been a lot worse though. By the time it was clothes drying time it was also mouth wetting time due to the heat and a beer was the only option. Well not literally, but the only fizzy one.

I might have had another one before teatime, but I wasn't really hungry enough to eat. Tan then took Xixi to a western-style eating place and I said I'd meet them there after a shower, and an hour later I turned up as Xixi was on her tiramisu. I managed to finish off Tan's Thai rice and that was more than enough for me. The girls then went shopping, so I went home to chill for a while. Zhang Hua had sent a message asking how 嫂子 (sister in law/Tan) had liked the bbq. I had answered that she was very positive about it, and that I may well come back for some more tonight. Well it was now tonight, and I asked what people wanted and it would be the usual, except no chilli for Tan Shiyun's sweetcorn.

Half an hour later I was back with the bbq but Tan Shiyun had already gone to bed. I dumped it on the table then went back to Zhang Hua's to have a couple more beers and a chat. Of course they wouldn't let me pay after yesterday. Then it was back before the 1am curfew.

Back at Zhang Hua's for succulent bbq