Hitchless trip back from Baise and meal with Haiwei and friends and 公文包

Neither Leilei nor I got up before 11am, but I needed to as unlike him I haven't adopted the Chinese habit of showering before bed rather than in the morning. In addition to the morning, fair enough, but once a day I've generally turned into a "just before you go out for evening stuff" shower guy. Thinking about it though, if you are going to shower just once in a day, just before bed seems more logical (especially if you're sharing a bed with someone - we weren't). I mean much of the sweat and grime you can pick up during the day will just get moved to pyjamas and bed clothes if you don't. Having said that, if you've had a rather heavy night out, and are not sharing a bed, then a shower in the morning makes a lot of sense. Other than using up a lot of water though, the best policy should be both last thing at night and morning and/or early evening. Or of course just after the gym, which could an issue to your shower rhythm if you don't have a fixed time of going to the gym. And the last Zoe podcast I listened to (while in the gym), said you should really exercise at the same time of day. Something to do with circadian rhythms.

So I was ready and packed by 11.30am, and still had the drinks and crisps I bought from yesterday in a separate bag. I didn't want Tan to see the leftover beer though, so at 11.41am I thoughtfully chugged it (330ml of 3.3% isn't going to get you tiddly, whatever time of the day).

We checked out soon after midday and walked to find a noodle place. I managed maybe half of mine, as did Leilei with his chao fen. The ladies did a little better. Still, a whole lunch for four of us for under £4 can't be sniffed at. We then planned to walk around the corner to Er jie's house. Tan couldn't contact her as she's blocked her on Weixin and has done for months if not years. They seem to get on much better in person than digitally, and were sitting next to each other last night. But it meant as I had Er jie as a contact I needed to call her to find out her address. She answered and I asked her address and of course the words she used were not in my vocabulary so I handed the phone to Tan who got the relevant details and indeed it was only a three minute walk away.

So up to the 24th floor it was. Apparently the kids had stayed here before in the past when in Baise, but I don't think I had. But it looked like any other modern apartment, and the huge tv was showing highlights of last night's opening ceremony of the Olympics, so we drank tea and watched that till 2.30pm when Er jie's bloke took us downstairs to his car and we all piled in to go to the station and got there 15 minutes later.

I was sweating not just because of the weather but I knew any mistake in my online ordering of tickets would have resulted in a commotion like yesterday's, if not worse, but we were all beeped through successfully and I mini-fist-pumped.

It was an uneventful journey with the kids on their phones and me on my laptop, and Pingguo was the first stop 40 minutes later. Interestingly (for me) there were a couple of policemen after the exit (where we had to scan our passports to exit), who needed to check our passports. Not for ID as such but for visas. This is the first time it's ever happened to us outside of an international airport. But I guess as now there are free three-day visas for some of the big cities here they need to check that people are not leaving those cities for other places. Anyway, a casual glance at the visas was more than enough proof we were legit.

As we were in person at the station, Tan decided to go to the ticket office to sort out once and for all what the problem was with her booking tickets for Xixi. I followed the conversation as much as I could, and it transpired Tan needed to download a separate app for the railways, that wasn't in Weixin. I wasn't going to wait in this heat for that so stood by the open doors of the station where the A/C wafted out keeping me cool. It took another 20 minutes before she'd downloaded the 1.7GB app that has 1.6 stars out of five on average, and is apparently really crap to use. Whether she'll be able to use it in the future to book tickets for Xixi we don't know. But I can so it will probably be my job in the future.

I didn't worry about meeting Haiwei for 5pm, that is early even for China, and got there after 5.30pm as his son was arriving, to find him cooking and no table set. It gave me the opportunity to go out and get 24 cans of Li Quan beer though. Around 6pm we finally sat down to eat the lovely roast duck they'd ordered and the rest of the stuff they'd cooked. After 15 minutes the drinks were poured and I was the only one on the beer I'd brought. Haiwei, on the other hand got through a nearly full bottle of rouge before opening another one and getting through that too, with the help of some caima.

I'd had some forced conversations with his sons, so had done my job, and the younger one told me he was bored and I completely understood, so he booked a didi che himself to go and find his friends, and elder son left a bit later on his dian dong che to play games. Haiwei started on the beer but his girlfriend made him drink some water first. 

A mate I hadn't seen for some time, Haiwei's girlfriend Li Baoli, Haiwei and his rouge

Some woman had come to deliver 公文包 as you do, and seemed to have delivered a whole box of the plastic bottles, then sat down with us to eat as you do again. I was looking at the box of bottles and a bloke thrust two of them into my hands. I genuinely didn't want them and it must have looked fake as I couldn't get away with not taking them, so hopefully they'll come in useful as a gift to someone.

I am now the proud owner of two 1.25l bottles of 22% 公文包

By 11pm Haiwei was pissed enough that we decided to call it a night. I don't know why his girlfriend didn't give him a lift back so it was left to me to bring him to the same place he's been staying for the last year or so.

As it was only 11.20pm I pinged Li Kun who said to come round to his office where there were a few people drinking. I managed an hour and played with his kids for a while until his son tried to jump on my back and fell off and collapsed into tears so he had to be taken back home with middle sister. I realise I'd probably had enough too so called it a night soon after midnight and managed to get another reasonably early night falling asleep to the Olympics.

Up to Baise with a hitch for Chuan Chuan and Xiao He's wedding

Although I woke up at a godly 8am I lingered in bed till 10am before getting up and washing etc. It shouldn't take more than 5 minutes to pack but I still wasn't sure how long we were going for. Er jie had created a family group on Weixin and I'd asked on there as I needed to know how much to bring. She'd said pack for two days but Tan said we'd be back the next day. I ask Tan again in the morning and she shouted that we'd be back tomorrow, not that any ticket had been purchased. So I packed two pairs of boxer shorts and socks and an extra thin tee-shirt just in case.

I had just poured a bit of V into lemonade when I was called by the kids to say they were outside and the cab was coming in 2 minutes! So I grabbed what toiletries I could and went out keyless as I couldn't afford any more time or anger. The didi che indeed turned up when I did and we got to the station 35 minutes before the train was due. Leilei and Xixi duly showed their passports and got through, but Tan's ID card was refused. She went to the manual place where we have to go and the lady said she didn't have a ticket. Well she did as I'd bought it, and I showed her the trip.com app with the details. But as I did my heart sank as I realised the problem as I showed her; I'd used Tan's passport number as that was what I had saved in the app for booking flights. But of course she only had her ID on her and not her passport.

I guess it was my fault, but can't China marry-up IDs and passports? So an angry woman was even angrier, and we walked to the manual ticket office. I tried to tell her that they should just change the ID info on the existing ticket, or at the very least cancel the ticket and reissue it via the ID. But Tan wasn't listening and Xixi was asking where I was, so I came back with Tan saying she'd get the next train if this one was full. I even tried cancelling it on the app but it said it was too close to the time of departure and I should go to the ticket office to do it. It probably would have been worth it but there was no value standing with an angry Tan, and anyhow at least it meant I could be in the same carriage as Xixi.

So Xixi and I did security and this time they didn't make me taste my carry-ons, and not two minutes later Tan came through security after having bought a business class ticket as that's all that were left. So much for all the fuss.

The journey was the typical 55 minutes and the young lady next to me offered me some grapes, as well as to the people opposite, and for once I accepted, and a bit of starfruit, which she taught me was called 杨桃 here. Everyone's so friendly here, and not just to me as a foreign-looking person.

杨桃in the foreground and葡萄in the background, kindly shared by my temporary neighbour on the train to Baise

Baise was even hotter than Pingguo at 39° and Chuan Chuan had come to pick us up luckily but even the walk from the train to outside was so sultry. As soon as we got in the car Tan said something to Chuan Chuan and then said who wanted to stay a few days? Jeez, I got told off earlier for asking if we were staying more than one night. Obviously no-one was prepared for a few days so it was declared we would come back later in the week.

We got to the hotel and just chilled. Well Tan and I did but the kids wanted to see the cat café Leilei and Nezha had gone to last year. Tan then asked me to book tickets for 3pm tomorrow and there were only 10 seats left. Ok so it was to be a single night after all. But I was to book it via the Weixin app, which I'd not used before. Luckily it was mostly in English, but a good 10% hadn't been translated. I needed to input all of our details manually, and couldn't even paste in Tan's long ID number. It took nearly an hour of inputting and double-checking as a single wrong digit would cause more disproportionate anger. But eventually I'd managed it and three of us were actually sitting next to each other (and there there 14 seats left on the 15:13 train, not 10). 210 kuai was more-or-less what I'd paid with trip.com anyway. I've now added Tan's ID to my trip.com contacts but I have no idea which ID they'll use if I use it to book train tickets again.

Apparently we weren't to eat till 6.30pm and I'd had a little of the carry-on so I went out and found a supermarket to get some beer and crisps for afterwards should the need arise, then pinged the kids to come back as I knew we'd not be given 5 minutes' notice before we'd have to leave the hotel for the restaurant next door. Indeed when we got back and I was brushing my teeth Tan announced we were going and chastised me for not being ready.

But it was a fantastic meal, the best this year. Crispy bits of pre-cut meat that you poured a bit of watermelon juice over (although Tan said it was sour red berry juice she was wrong, but I didn't go on about it). The duck was out of this world, and I couldn't stop munching the eggy fried things and the lotus root and mangetout. And although at another table I knew that the kids would be stuffed too.

Most splendid meal of the year

My favourite - I think crispy duck on the left and crispy pork on the right, with mini jars of watermelon juice to add if you like

Due to the nature of the occasion, I decided to join most of the drinkers in red wine. Yes, it tasted a bit crap, but I've done worse. The grooms parents were great fun, and both seemed rather happy to toast everyone. I did my bit and toasted almost all of the adult drinkers one-by-one and could tell it was appreciated. Then I went to toast the younger people with their full-fat Coke at the two other tables. In fact I think all the women bar the broom's mother were on the Coke.

Relatively unposed pic of some of the ladies

After about an hour and four glasses of wine I said I'd move to the beer, and interestingly just about everyone else did too. It wasn't long before caima started and I think I impressed the Baise folk as much as I did the Pingguoans. People came and went, a cake was cut, lots of photos were taken, and it was a very jolly evening all told till around 9.30pm when people started to leave.

Not my first toast with Xiao He, the groom, as by now we were on the beer

The happy couple slicing the cake

Clockwise from top left: A Heng, Qiqi gege, Leilei, Xixi, Chuan Chuan, Tan

Back at the hotel I was glad to have put those beers from the supermarket in the mini-fridge as it was too early to go to bed, and a bit later went for a walk. Blimey, it was busier than Pingguo with all the people eating outside. Of course I was called over to one after a while and sat down with them for a few brews and a chat till midnight when I reckoned I'd better call it a night.

For some reason (beer) I found I didn't know where the hotel was and rather than check the name of the hotel on the keycard and search online, I just asked Leilei to send a dingwei, which he did and I was back 15 minutes later, and didn't last too much later before getting another early night.

Gym, last of V, evening with Haiwei and son

Managed a little bit of yesterday's bbq and a yoghurt just to have some energy to go to the gym with Tan before 1pm. I hoped it would be empty due to people eating but it was busy with mostly young men. I wonder to what extent they are trying to improve their looks in order to attract the reduced supply of women here. I saw only two women in the hour or so I spent doing my leg exercises and 25 minutes of elliptical that apparently was worth 7.5km, though I doubt it.

I don't trust 7.5km in 25 minutes but I had raised the difficulty so maybe that affected the distance

I didn't want to waste yesterday's duck, so although the breast had gone I heated up and ate what I could of the rest for tea， before Haiwei pinged me to ask if I had time later. As nothing is planned here I answered in the affirmative, and he said to meet at 9.30pm in 100 minutes, and he'd ping me a dingwei at the time. 

So I paid a visit to the supermarket by the guangchang to pick up the last of the V in case it would be of use for tomorrow's journey to Baise. As it was 1.15pm it probably wouldn't be but you never know. Of course at 8.45pm, just as I was leaving the supermarket, I got a dingwei followed by a phone call from Haiwei to say he'd already arrived and to come over now. Well I couldn't pretend I was busy so I got home, poured a quick one, and popped over.

Possibly the last unflavoured vodka in Pingguo

I had miss-read the dingwei and thought it was by the Calorie KTV bar, and as I pulled up Nong also pulled up next to me. Consequentially she was there to pick up her son from drum lessons, and I rechecked my dingwei to find I was still a few hundred yards away. So I told her to go on and to meet up later if we had time.

Haiwei was at some friend's shop of some sort, and a handful of people were sat around a table eating and drinking and talking as to be expected. Like most of the others I was on the beer, and a bloke I recognised's girlfriend kept making me ganbei, but she was big enough to manage it. Then followed some forced conversation with Haiwei's second son for a while, but I did manage to talk about Leilei's music and got him to send over a portion that wasn't rap. I sent it to second son and when I asked what he thought he typed something into his phone and came back with "elegant", not a word I would have used.

Caima then ensued and I did annoyingly well, till around midnight when I said I needed to go. It was true though as I need to be up in the morning tomorrow and there may be a queue for the shower. But Leilei needed me to sort out his university accommodation so there was that to do first before another relatively early night.

Half a duck for returning family and "Land sheep" at Li Kun's with Feng ge

After continuing my habit of a tiny pao mian for lunch I pinged Xixi around 2pm to check they were on the train back from Guangzhou, which they duly were and had been for 20 minutes, so I knew they'd be back some time after 6.30pm, which gave me a little over four and a half hours of freedom. But it was daytime freedom which isn't so fun, so I ended up doing household chores, clothes washing etc. and getting some shopping in, before deciding to go for piano practice at the usual place. I'd like to go to the woman's place I went to last week but without A/C it's just too hot to do physical activity, which certain pieces certainly are.

So I got to the music centre and put on the A/C before going to the place a couple of doors down to order a watermelon juice with reduced sugar. That done, I went next door to Guanmart for more provisions and dumped them home before going to find something to eat as Tan said she was too tired to go out to eat. The duck leg woman wasn't there, so I found a shop that sold roast duck and got a half one that weighed nearly 2 jin so a bit under a kilo for 61 kuai, and got him to cut it up. He tried to sell me the head and neck to make it up to 2 jin but I told him no-one at home would eat it. But we all had some of the succulent breast and there was plenty left over despite Tan saying it wasn't enough and there should be rice to make it a meal.

At 8.18pm Feng ge sent me a message to go to Li Kun's studio for a drink. Well I had no plans so was about to answer in the affirmative when he called me to say that Li Kun wouldn't be back till 9pm so to meet then. Well that was time enough for a beer and I also popped to Guanmart again as Tan said we needed more washing liquid and conditioner. I didn't mention the discussion I had with Li Kun and Ma Yong the other day when they said Chinese people don't buy fabric conditioner separately as it's included in the washing liquid.

So I was running a little late when I stopped off en-route to pick up 12 1998 cans even though just two days ago Li Kun had said not to bring beer when seeing friends. I got a missed call from Feng ge of course and arrived a couple of minutes later after having to change the beer the bloke in the shop got for me as it wasn't the Li Quan I'd asked for. And it was a good thing I did bring some beer as there wasn't any there, at least it wasn't visible.

Feng ge had brought a load of lamb, and other than Li Kun and little man (got to find out his name too) there was another bloke who apparently I'd met before but if he knew me he'd forgotten that I don't smoke. I was quite peckish as I'd only had four slices of duck breast three hours earlier and tried that very foreign thing of looking for a piece of meat that was just that...meat...and not a massive hunk of skin or fat or bone, of which there was plenty. At least I had a bowl of sauce with coriander and lajiao to dip it into. But yeah it was a bit like one of those grabber games where instead of coming back empty-handed my chopsticks generally brought back some rubbery skin, which would have been a result had I been a local.

Feng ge referred to the lamb as 地羊, so "land sheep", as opposed to 山羊 which is "mountain sheep", or goat. I'd not heard this term before so asked why. To which he laughed and said 地羊 is the term they use when they don't want to say 狗! Oh, I'd just been eating dog. Every time I've had dog for the last five years I've said it would be the last time, and maybe last time it would have been had I known "land sheep". Luckily I'm not sensitive about it but imagine Awl or some dog lover coming over and I tell them it's sheep and they go and stuff themselves only to find out later....

"Land sheep", otherwise known as "dog"

Oh well, whatever. Feng ge then ordered some of the local speciality raw fish and although it was nice they'd cut it much thicker than I'm used to and it was rather tough compared to the thin slices we normally get. Then I remembered I'd promised Xixi to get her some bbq. Sweetcorn and beef as per usual, so I asked if they'd still be there in 20+ minutes. I didn't need to ask that but it was my excuse to pop out to get some.

I realised when there that I ought to bring some back to Li Kun's, so ordered 20 beef, 20 pork, and 20 sweetcorn. I asked if they had them all in stock and the lady told me they did. I started to wait outside, considering popping to a table to be invited to a beer, when she said something about the sweetcorn. I asked again if they had some, and she paused before saying they did. I didn't know if this was one of those fear-of-losing-face moments so I said it would be no problem to get it next door, and she affirmed. So I popped next door to Tan's "uncle's" place and felt a bit embarrassed that I'd not ordered there in the first place.

But I didn't want to sit about waiting for 20 minutes, so I thought I'd go back to Li Kun's to wait. I got all of 50 yards before I heard someone shout at me. I stopped and looked back and realised I should recognise this person. But he beckoned me over so over I went and he ordered a couple of bottles of beer as they were drinking baijiu. The new term I've heard for the Guangxi version of this is 公文包, or "briefcase". It's generally "only" about 22% but I don't yet understand the briefcase nature of the name. I also still won't drink it. But it was a pleasant enough 15 minutes or so where I only had the one bottle of beer. The bloke said he'd stopped drinking beer at the age of 32 as it made his tummy "zhang le", yet another word I need to learn. I'd have understood if he'd said "pang le", which simply means "fat". Apparently he'd known Feng ge for years so I took a photo and said I'd show him. And of course that I'd come back another day for longer.

Having a beer with Feng ge's mate while waiting for bbq

The 40 chuan of meat was only 140 kuai, and another 20 kuai for the 20 chuan of sweetcorn, so I brought them home only for Tan to chastise me for keeping on coming in and out of the house so she couldn't sleep. Blimey I'd left over two hours ago and that was all. Apparently it was Xixi who'd been moving about. But the bbq shut her up and I left them noshing while I took the 20 pork back with me to Li Kun's. 

It was very well received, as the raw fish had gone, and it seemed I wasn't the only one not really into dog as there was so much left. Handsome singer had turned up, as had some other bloke who was playing the guitar and singing something. Handsome singer said the bbq was definitely beef and not the pork I thought it was, so I'd left the wrong thing at home. But I pinged Xixi without telling her my mistake and she said the bbq was fine so good.

I wasn't even tempted to play the guitar. I'd not drunk that much and now we were on a different kind of beer that I guess they keep round the back anyway. It was yet another night of most of the others chatting in the local lingo so I didn't get too much of it...something about Putin, something about Ukraine. And by 12.45am I knew better than to try my luck and said I'd better go back. It was just a couple of beers back home as I used the sleeping tablets again and was asleep around 3am for the second time this visit.

Big meal at Li Kun's colleague's house followed by bbq at Zhang Hua's and a very late night

Up stupidly early then back to sleep till gone midday, as I'd slept in the kids' room and it was a lot quieter and more comfortable with a proper working A/C. Lunch was a tiny pao mian yet again for the fourth time in five days. Li Kun then pinged me to eat at his colleague's place this evening, except I miss-read it as at his house, so that was the evening sorted, at least the first half of it.

Rather than the gym, I managed a session of dumbbells before Li Kun called me to see if I was ready. I said I'd grab a shower and he said he'd send me a dingwei. I was in no rush as I thought it would be at market but when I received the dingwei (or weizhi...I guess they mean the same thing) I could see it was well north of guangchang so I only got there just before 7, but managed to get 12 cold beers in a shop downstairs. Luckily the dian dong che was full of dian. 

Tan called me just before I got there to say she couldn't buy train tickets to Baise for Friday, even though there had been no issue getting them to and from Guangzhou. This didn't make sense to me, but she said I should go to the station now with my ID and book tickets. What? She had the kids' passports so there was no way I'd be able to book theirs in person, and no point booking mine alone, so I said I'd try to sort out booking online tonight, though if it failed for her it should do for me. She told me there were only 10 seats left to Baise on the 1.15pm train though so I'd better hurry up.

The meal was a typically bustily affair and I wasn't late at all; the kids were eating at the table by the tv, and some of the food was still being cooked. I placed my measly 12 beers on top of three other boxes of beers and was met with great merriment from the blokes and most of the women, a couple of whom at least I recognised. Li Kun was rightly proud of the squid he cooked and it was probably my favourite dish on the table. I refused rice politely and Li Kun then took one half of his portion and put it into little man's bowl, as if to recognise he should lower his carb intake a little too.

It was one of those not-quite-expected-but-a-little-expected evenings with the blokes sitting round the big table and the women and children running around. But I remembered I'd said I'd look at getting train tickets so spent five minutes on the trip.com app and after adding Tan's Chinese name to the travellers, and confirming passport details were correct, made the booking for £26, £8 more than it should have been due to booking fees with trip.com, but a small price to pay for peace of mind. A few minutes later I got the confirmation email and we had our tickets, and I smugly sent a screenshot of them to Tan.

In the meantime Tan had IM'd me to say the reason we couldn't get tickets online was that Xixi is a minor and minors can only get four tickets online before needing to go and show their ID in person at a station. Apparently she'd called the station to find that out. Well I'd pretty much proved her wrong. But did I get any praise? Oh No...the seats were in different carriages and we weren't sitting together! You just told me less than an hour ago there were only 10 seats left, and I confirmed that when ordering hence I didn't waste time. So of course it was extremely unlikely that any of the seats would be next to each other! At least two of them are in the same carriage. Sometimes it seems like any excuse to have a go! But it's water off a duck's back now....

Li Kun then opened up the caimaiing with me, and then sent me on a round-the-table run, during which I won a good two thirds of the rounds to even more merriment and mirth. But it wouldn't have been fair had it only been me doing a round, so Li Kun followed with a bit less success. We ate till around 9.30pm or so before some people had to go and the rest of us went to sit round the tea table and drank pu er cha. I normally would have avoided that but sod it I didn't have to be in early or have an early night. So we spent the next 40 minutes or so drinking only tea and sobering up a little while playing with a toy with Li Kun's son, which was more amusing than it should have been.

Me with Li Kun after a few rounds of caima

Whenever it was we left, I headed south and as I was going to pass by Zhang Hua's anyway I thought I'd take a look to see if he was there. Of course he was, he runs the place, but luckily he wasn't alone so I turned up to shake hands and be pointed to a table with a few blokes. So it was back to the ganbeiing, and then bbq was brought around of course. One of the wives turned up and drank the local equivalent of red wine rather quickly, considering she had a two year-old on tow. I did the usual table-hopping, although it was rather limited considering there were only two tables downstairs, and I don't think I went upstairs this time. But there was certainly a lot of mopaiing going on and I managed to do ok for once.

I'm not sure giving your dad a light at the age of 2 is very responsible...he should have told him to light it himself

At mopai I got a really good hand and made the dealer drink more than usual (though I still don't 100% understand the rules)

I finally left around 2.30am, and it was so nice not to have to worry about a 1am curfew. I then went for a ride at 3am just because I could. It was only a Tuesday night but other than a minority of people it seems every day is the weekend here. I even found what I presume was a massage place that was open and was so tempted. Though at this time of night it may be something more than just a massage...having said that last year with muscle boss we did go for a genuine massage at gone 2am....

Meal at the place that helped me charge the dian dong che a couple of weeks ago

Woke up at 8am, then 10.30, but didn't get up till 11am so was so refreshed for a change. Say what you will about sleeping pills but if they work (and you don't get addicted to them) then bloody hell they are worth it. I was quite annoyed that I couldn't get my Phenergan at the airport and should have planned better but these are more effective but I must use them sparingly.

After lunch I pinged Ma Yong to confirm what time we were going to Tiandong. Oh, he replied that he temporarily had a work matter and we'd not be going. Bleeding hell that's fine but please let me know rather than make me find out. This is the second day in a row that a planned meet-up has been cancelled and just makes it more clear that this is the reason nothing is planned here. But I was actually quite looking forward to an evening out in Tiandong with no pressure from the family. Whatever.

Well I forced myself to have some jiaozi outside, which wasn't really that hard, then forced myself to go to the gym, which was a lot harder. But even after a month I can feel my belly protruding so it's a must-do.

I had no plans for the evening so thought I'd go to see the family I'd charged up my dian dong che with the other week when I'd left it 7km away. I'd left them saying I'd come back so wanted to be as good as my word. Why not this evening? The dian dong che was charged up so at around 6pm I took the 20 minute ride over there. I remembered that I should bring some beer so found a tiny place nearby and the owner had to come over to meet me when she saw I was there as I guess they don't get too many patrons. "Have you got any cold beer?" I asked, and she answered in the affirmative. Well she was technically correct as she had a grand total of five cans of snowflake beer in the fridge. Well, that would do, along with six warm ones.

I arrived to find the husband fixing some pallets and moving some sawdust from old broken sacks to new ones. As you do. I ended up playing with one of his sons and then he went to one of the places where they yang chickens and started talking to one of them. I guess he is a chicken whisperer.

Chicken whisperer

Then the dad pulled out a chicken and slit its throat and after washing it in boiling water started plucking it. Oh no, I really hoped he wasn't doing this for me. I really didn't as I wanted to get back, but luckily some bloke turned up to pick it up and I realised this bloke's business was raising chickens and ducks for food. Fair enough.

Then his portly wife said we were about to eat. Well, I'd had the wherewithall to put the warm beers in the freezer and the cold ones in the fridge, and after a few minutes of eating we cracked them open. Even his wife joined in after half an hour and it was a really enjoyable hour or so. They were somewhat apologetic about their "simple" fair, but I was having none of it. The tiny eggs and sour greens were worth the admission alone, but I didn't tell them that. I would love to have heard that they really appreciated the chocolate that I left them a couple of weeks ago but they didn't mention it, and I didn't push it. I guess it's possible that the grandpa I left it with ate it all and didn't tell the kids but I very much doubt it!

Really lovely meal with this family on the outskirts of  Pingguo

I managed to leave around 8.30pm, when the husband was trying to get friends to come round to meet me as he was starting to get pissed. It was good timing on my behalf as I'd given the family a more interesting meal and said I'd likely come back, and I hope I will. I drove to Li Kun's after that and of course there were people there, and I sat down as a local and we ended up chatting till 1.30am, and it would have been longer had Li Kun not been working tomorrow. And indeed Li Kun said I'd done the right thing to bring beers to the family for the meal (even though I'd effectively invited myself, or more likely because), but he said as we knew each other I shouldn't bring beers when coming to drink with him. Though this seems rather unfair as it's not as though people ever come to ours.

His place has become a bit of a refuge. Just a comfortable place to be and chat and not much more. Tan doesn't really get it although her mates fill a similar hole I suspect. At least I wasn't being told to come home before 1am for once.

Sleepless in Pingguo but reasonable sport

Well my Zepp app told me I'd slept between 4-9am but I definitely remember being awake after 4am. I heard Tan and the kids leaving for the train station and tried to get up but couldn't. But I couldn't sleep either and was feeling not great after last night.

So when lunchtime came around I forced another tiny pao mian down, thinking it may help sleep arrive. I even added two quail eggs but to no effect. I had some V left over from yesterday and even considered having some of that with the leftover lemonade. Well I considered it for an hour before actually pouring it and it tasted crap but I really needed some sleep before meeting Haiwei later. I thought if I didn't have it by 2pm it would probably be too late, but it was 1.55pm so somehow justifiable. I only had a couple, and it still didn't make me feel sleepy.

So I grabbed a shower then remembered to ping Haiwei to say I could make it over, but he responded to say that a work matter had turned up and we wouldn't be meeting up. Ok, so much for organising stuff more than a day in advance...this is probably why they don't. Stuff, "matters", just turn up and change things. Well I was awake after the shower so did some exercise inside which tired me enough to grab about an hour of dozing from about 4pm, not that I needed to get up, but my body wouldn't let me sleep more.

But I still felt pretty crap. I managed to go to Guanmart to get some provisions after watching some of the test match v West Indies, but I had no plans to go out and fancied watching the Hungarian GP. Slightly annoyingly as I was riding back the heavens opened and although I was only under it for a minute I was pretty soaked when I got back. It also meant the towels I had just washed would take an age to dry. Ha, first world problems. I forced a beer down but it wasn't really working, and I maybe managed two or three during the whole race, which was actually very absorbing again, if not quite so exciting as the British GP.

First world problems

I somehow dozed off as the cricket became exciting and it looked like we had a small chance of winning tonight, then annoyingly woke up some time after 1am to see we had won but I'd missed it. Of course now I had the prospect of a sleepless night so I took a couple of Tan's Chinese sleeping pills and before half an hour was out like a light.

Last Haliao football game of the year for us (probably)

Another lack of appetite meant I forced down a tiny pao mian. These are becoming more and more of my diet and do nothing more than give me a few calories rather than beer as I've been pretty good about not drinking before the evening.

But today was to be the third and final Pingguo Haliao football match I'd be going to see this season. I didn't really fancy two hours of pre-match shouting and singing so turned up after 6pm to Wuming bar where we had some pre-match noodles and beef as you do, and went to check some loudspeakers. A few minutes later we were walking to the south gate and I had four of the bloody things about my person, but luckily there was not a big away contingent so nothing like the Chongqing match the other week. Rather we just stood about and Feng ge got me an iced coffee whether I wanted it or not. Well I had a carry-on of V and diet cola but it tasted horrible as that's what V does to cola. But I manfully finished it by the time Leilei turned up and we entered the ground well after 7pm for a change.

Feng ge standing in front of the stadium under the national flag

Me and Leilei just after kickoff...still a sizable crowd if not from the away contingent

For once we didn't stand right in the middle of the Wuming supporters' group, but to one side, and even Feng ge got a bit tired of shouting as he sometimes sat down. It was not a great match; Dalian took their chances and probably deserved the win as we seemed incapable of putting any shots on target despite a new Luxembourgish forward who may have Brazilian roots, and is on loan from Dynamo Kyiv till the end of the year.

My last bit of cheerleading for the season

This time we didn't even wait for the team to come round after the match to cheer them; Feng ge had booked two tables at...yeah...Xiao Bai de Tian, so for the fourth night in a row I was to go there for ye xiao. I dropped off Leilei at home as he'd walked over, and changed to last year's kit as I did the other week with Haiwei. It was more fun than the football; his wife was there, and a number of young nurses from her hospital were at the table drinking mostly cocktails. Feng ge ordered a dispenser of beer, which made sense but I couldn't check how strong it was. However, after a nearly dry two hours of football I didn't really care. Ma Yong was there too, and reminded me that we were to go to a meal in Tiandong at 4pm on Monday afternoon. Wow, another day+ notice before being invited out. Is something changing?

The ladies played a game where they stuck playing cards on their foreheads and had to bet each other who was higher or lower. I think there was one main person, and she was bet by the others, so by the time there were a couple of guesses she must have had an idea if she had a low or high card. I would have liked to join in but it seemed to be just a ladies' thing, and anyway I was chatting with Feng ge then ganbeiing with other people until 12.30 when Leilei pinged to go back home as they were leaving early tomorrow to go to Guangzhou. So it should have been an early night but for whatever reason I just couldn't sleep even after a couple more beers and I'm sure I remember it turning 6am.

A pitcher of beer and ladies with playing cards on their foreheads

Xiao Bai de Tian's birthday party

Oh dear at 4am it was more diarrhoea and then every few minutes for the next few hours, getting micro-sleeps between micro-leaks. I did the correct thing of drinking lots and lots of water, but couldn't manage any solids. I wonder which solids it was/were that caused it in the first place. I suppose it could have been something at Xiao Bai de Tian's but their bbq is known to be very fresh. It more likely was Xixi's chicken on a stick that she didn't want. Her loss was my greater loss in that case.

I had a break from the toilet for about four hours in the early afternoon and managed to take advantage from half of it by dozing， during which time I received a message I couldn't be bothered to check. But it was followed up by a call from Haiwei asking me to meet up Sunday evening for a meal with his kids. Wow, a plan more than 48 hours before it was due to take place. Makes a change from 48 minutes! I said that assuming I had nothing planned (I hadn't) that I'd confirm later.

I then realised soon after 5pm that I had not practised for Xiao Bai's party tonight, when she pinged to say they were starting at 9.30pm. I was in no mood to practise, and had had to go back to the loo a few times too, but I couldn't not go. So I forced myself and realised the music wasn't the problem, just getting out the words so quickly. It really is a tongue twister to say "Zao xihuan chuansuo chongmang youhuo de heiye" (the third line of the second verse). In fact that's one of about nine tongue twisting lines (I can manage three of the four chorus lines no problem). Then I found out that the lines I could sing better were those that I actually understood; it wasn't that they were necessarily more difficult to pronounce physically. The problem is that the translation of the particularly difficult one is "I've long been accustomed to traveling through the night full of temptations", and I still don't really understand it. I guess I'll need to break it down but I won't have much time this evening.

Oh but I needed some food, and found Xixi had a bag of "toast", which really means very sweet bread. I'd normally not touch this but reckoned I needed the calories so had half a slice followed by a yoghurt. Followed by another half slice.

At 8.30pm Li Kun pinged me to say he was en route back home from Baise and that he'd let me know when at his studio so I could pick him up. Fair enough, It would be no earlier than 9.30pm then. Indeed it was gone 10pm and we got to Xiao Bai de Tian's at 10.30pm and it was heaving, but we found a couple of seats at a table with mostly young women and I recognised one or two of them from the other night. The beer was room temperature and I wasn't really in the mood but managed the usual ganbeis. I called Nong to tell her to turn up, then received a call from Zhang Hongping to ask where I was. As it was noisy and sweaty I went outside to talk and explained it was really busy and we could meet "gaitian", a really useful term for "another day". But someone had spied me in the youcha place and called me over, and I found Haiwei at a table with his girlfriend and some other mates, who bade me sit down, which I duly did. For three minutes until it started pissing down so we moved to a covered place.

I was actually a little peckish and the raw salmon was appreciated, and I stayed longer than was polite as I got a message from Li Kun asking where I was, so I made my excuses and went back next door to find Nong outside so we went in and found the same table for a bit before table-hopping as you do. Handsome singer bloke turned up with his wife, who for some reason didn't look like a popstar's wife, rather a nice, normal person, and when I needed some more fresh air I had a nice conversation with her outside. I was aware I'd said I'd sing but wasn't in the mood even after a couple more beers, and it was gone midnight now, plus there were better singers on the stage. I considered asking handsome singer bloke to accompany me but a bit later had Tan on the blower telling me to come back and for once I thought that would be a good excuse and told her I was on my way and didn't even tell the others as I wouldn't have had time for the ganbeis.

Xiao Bai de Tian's birthday in full swing

I pinged Xiao Bai to apologise and said i could do it "gaitian" and really meant it, and she was fine with it of course. And it was probably for the better.