Brown boiled egg at Boss Zhou's

I managed to avoid the DFC order by forcing myself to take the kids out to the yumi tang place. We don’t even have to give our order now. Work and weather dictated spending the afternoon at home until I took the kids to A Hua’s place for tea where she was with Tan nattering, then got back to my own tea of a single egg. It rained on the way back and was a welcome coolness on the dian dong che, which I was to experience again soon after as the kids called me to pick them up again.

They took themselves to the guangchang for skating and I picked them up at 9.30 to go home and left them there as I’d been asked to go to Boss Zhou’s for an evening meal, and there was no way they’d want to accompany me there. I was the only one with him for a while and we shared a beer. But after a couple of messages to a WeChat group I’d recently been added to more people started arriving in dribs and drabs as photos of the food being served were shared. I made a joke that I had brought a brown boiled egg and for some reason one woman didn’t get the joke and when she arrived promptly ate it. The last person arrived after 1am, but we were relatively sensible with the Snowflake beer and finished by 2.30am, although for some reason didn’t sleep till well gone 4am.

My brown boiled egg

Boss Zhou's cat keeping a watchful eye over me

Evening entertainment with Bank President

I forced myself to a reasonably early start to work as judging by the last few days oftentimes (gosh, that is an Americanism) people call me a couple of hours before to go out even though I’ve told them I’m working. Indeed, in the late morning Li Kun asked me to go out at 8pm with a “bank president”. The kids’ lunch was another crappy delivered DFC but I had three 1000 year old eggs instead. I also managed to get Leilei to do some maths hw and Xixi to do some violin practice for the second day in a row so at least I’m hoping they’re keeping on track. I’ve realised why I’m not totally disparaged by the term “oftentimes”. It’s because it encourages the silent “t” in the word. I’m well aware that there are two ways of pronouncing “often” and many people interchange between the two (though if there is a rule for this I’ve not found it yet). Even Christopher Hitchens, in his audiobook “God is not Great”, used both pronunciations. My interpretation of this is that the silent “t” is the educated way to pronounce it (not that that makes it right), and that the pronounced “t” version arose from less-educated people thinking that those silent-”t”ers were wrong. But I also notice it’s more prevalent in British people than Americans, not that that makes it right. The bottom line is that when people use “often” in a sentence I am more likely to pay attention to their pronunciation of it than the rest of the sentence...more fool me. But nobody pronounces “soften” with a sounded “t” do they?

At 9pm I caved in and IM’d “hi” to Li Kun, who got back to me saying he was about to go out. So I needn’t have worried about 8pm. I went to the new music bar he’d invited me to around 9.30ish leaving the kids at home. Typically I was the first of his guests to turn up, so we sat at a big reserved table eating sunflower seeds until even Li Kun couldn’t wait and we cracked open a couple of beers. Slowly but surely people turned up, including the bank president at 10.30.

I had to bite my tongue not to talk about Bitcoin and how it could replace banking as we know it. Actually his English was fairly good and he surely wanted to practise it, so who was I to language-bully him? I managed what I was internally showing off to myself as my first English conversation in weeks, when Xixi rang to remind me I was clearly speaking English every single day, and that she was hungry although Tan was home. So I temporarily excused myself in order to get three sausages for her and returned back 20 minutes later.

It was only 20 minutes but in that time the blokes at the table appeared to have become a lot more drunk than when I left...maybe it had just kicked in. Bank president was explaining that he had attended a wedding between one of his relatives and a western man. Within seconds the conversation turned to penis sizes and I engaged in the conversation as little as I was politely able to. The upshot of it was, according to bank president, that although Chinese penises were smaller, they were hard. I thought it best to raise my glass to him and gan bei at that point, and we all roared with laughter (well them more than me).

Mr Bank President near right, token female middle left

Then he showed me his alarm on his phone that was set to 5.45am, and said no matter what time he went to bed he’d always be up at this time in order to be in the bank. I admired his resolve, and understood when a few beers later he went on his way. Advertising friend IM’d me at 11.30 to go for a drink but I couldn’t really leave LI Kun. Obviously inviting bank president was a really big deal for him and he was so happy I had been there to talk to him. He was now saying “thank you, thank you” in English to me and I realised he was really drunk. But so did Guitar Teacher, so managed to take him home without too much fuss...I’m not sure how he paid the bill or who took care of it.

It was 1am so I pinged Advertising friend just in case and of course within seconds I was sent a wei zhi pinpointing the location of where they were. There were also six pissed blokes there, each of whom I should probably know, but it didn’t really matter as we had a great time chatting and a bit more gan bei’ing till hum o’clock.

Finally get to invite some mates out and pay

I woke up at 9.30am but decided against it and dosed till 11ish till guilt got me up to work till lunchtime which admittedly wasn’t long after. I had lunch at Luwen’s and couldn’t finish but I was starving at 6.30 so walked to the supermarket to get some eggs and found a new shortcut back. I hadn’t walked for ages and it was good to stretch my legs, so in a way finding a shortcut was the opposite of what I should have done but it’s good to explore.

Finding a shortcut behind Jun Lin Tian Xia

Tonight Tan took the kids to the guangchang to skate and I decided I’d stop work at 10.30, then contacted Boss Zhou at 9.30 to ask if he’d be about and indeed he would so I’d finally arranged my turn to invite people out. And it was great that quite a few mates came out. I’m starting to remember their names now, like A Guang, the portly man with glasses and a great sense of humour, who eventually fell asleep in his chair. Even Uncle Yellow I know is called Huang Lei came despite baby duties for a two month old. We stayed out till 2ish and I guess because I’d arranged it I was allowed to pay - result.

A Guang had had a busy day...

Late night with advertising friend

Twas a day of work till teatime when I took the kids to the new jiao zi place I’d discovered with Xixi yesterday and we ate in despite the lack of AC, before dumping them off at the guangchang as I really don’t need to be there any more and could be more fruitful at home. Then at 9.30 I took the sweaty things to Tian Yang Po’s where Tan was eating bbq with her school friends from 40 years ago, but they didn’t want to stay. Tan said she’d bring back food for the kids in a bit. At 11pm advertising friend IM’d me to go for a drink but I said maybe in an hour as I needed to sort the kids. Tan was still not back and not answering her phone and the kids were starving so I went there by myself. They were deep in chat when I came to tell them I needed to feed the kids, and I was told there was no pork or beef as the pork had gone up in price thanks to the African swine flu - but what about the beef? So I asked Tian Yang Po and she said she had beef so I ordered 10 for the kids (which could have been done an hour ago) plus sausages which if they weren’t pork certainly looked like it.

Our new jiao zi place

At least it gave me the chance to talk to some of her friends and have a couple of beers.
Then a bloke walked past me and told me he knew me from years ago, and I had another one of those moments where I lied blatantly and said yes I recalled the face but not the name. Anyway he was a mate of the waterman and showed me a pic of him, and of us cai ma’ing a few years back. I told him I couldn’t go for a beer during the week, then straight away broke that rule as we sat down for two bottles until the bbq was ready, by which time he’d arranged for us to meet up this weekend.

Tan was back by midnight and advertising friend said they were going to another place to drink, which conveniently was close to us. We had great fun in this place on the corner opposite Waipo’s. There was some weird drunk girl in a red dress who joined us from another table when her friends had left her who was harmless if loud. Back at nearly 4am!

Finally I can pay via WeChat

I got up only in time to see the kids eating Tan-ordered KFC crap so afterwards I took just Xixi out to help me find something to eat. I didn’t want to go to the yumi tang place yet again so we found a place slightly further down the same road that sold dumplings, and I bought five of them. We drove to the exercise place by the ant tree and I managed to eat them all...pork mince and shredded greens in equal measure and sumptuous. But it was crazy hot and that beat us back to the house for respite shortly after as exercise on the equipment around us would have been torture.

Well someone decided to exercise at 40 degrees

Li Kun had IM’d me to drink tea at his place so went by myself at 4.30. We had a really good chat about the economy and I explained my interest in cryptocurrency which is always a slightly dodgy topic here as although there is a huge crypto community in China, the very fact you see something in it sort of puts you against the government-controlled ren min bi. I treaded carefully and mainly pointed out its advantages and not fiat’s disadvantages. He seemed to get it.

But the reality of fiat here had dawned on me, and I explained how I couldn’t use WeChat pay without a Chinese back account, something that would prove hard to get on a family/tourist visa. This made Li Kun call a mate who works in the bank to see if he could sort it but apparently it wasn’t that easy. I had to make my excuse to take the kids to the guangchang so took advantage of this to invite Li Kun and his family to eat where we often have since the guangchang has become a regular thing.

I picked up the kids at 6.30 and left them to do their thing in the guangchang while getting to the food place and waiting for Li Kun and family, who duly arrived and ordered food on my part. After 20 mins the kids had had their fare and went straight back to skate, and took Ava, Li Kun’s first daughter, with them, while we engaged in a couple of beers while his wife looked after the one-year old.

As we had a bit of  time Li Kun told me he had a dormant bank account and I could use that to sort out WeChat pay. Well it was a long, convoluted path that took nearly an hour but afterwards I had a “valid” account, albeit it with his name as the securitor. We tested it by sending each other a bit of money and it worked! This was a significant step in me feeling I belong here as now I’ll be able to pay for stuff like Xixi’s rollerskate hire by phone and more importantly not be weighed down by small change. At the cost, quite a big cost, of some conglomerate knowing exactly what I am purchasing and building up a profile of me. I vowed to use it for simple purchases such as the skating and food. But it also showed me how crypto could really work in the real world; if...and it’s not just a huge if but the biggest if, if people accepted it then there would be no such hoops to go through as I just did, and I’m not even sure which side of the law I’m on using Li Kun’s details. I think it was in this context that Li Kun sort of “gets it”, but at the moment the legal hoops I experienced are equivalent to the technical hoops, not to mention fiat onboarding, that you get with crypto. So fascinating how this will pan out.

"My" Chinese bank account

This had stirred my passion but I still had the kids to think about...they were supposed to be looking after Ava but I had my doubts so went to find them and indeed they’d sort of left her to her own devices after sorting her out with skates and probably becoming bored of looking after her. We all stayed with the kids for another half an hour until they were positively soaked, and we said our goodbyes and I got them home and showered.

And we seem to have local Tescos...not so sure about that

But that was not the end of the evening of course...Boss Zhou IM’d me to go and sing song for the second time in a week. Fair enough, I thought, and as the kids were getting ready for bed I popped out at 11pm to do my duties...back 2am with a sore throat and happy to stay in the spare room.