Lin Hong sorting out "my" flat and another bloke meal

I slept at my place and awoke to the sound of an incoming Weixin call from Lin Hong that I didn't answer. Then she sent a PDF of the concert to take place on the 12th February that I was supposed to be involved in yet again. But I got back to her to say my flight was due on the morning of the 12th so I wouldn't be able to make it. So she changed the subject and asked if I was at home. Hmm...she meant her home of course, not mine, so I sort of lied and said I wasn't currently there, and that I was getting something to eat, and that I'd be there in a bit. She said she was going to change the key. What? Or was it that she had the key and was going to change something? No online translation service made much sense of 我有锁匙我去换了 so I figured I'd better get there to see what she was doing.

By now it was getting on for 11.30am so the roads were packed with people travelling to lunch, and I noticed a missed call from Lin Hong, so I called her back to see what was going on and apparently she was waiting for me so I told her I'd be 3 minutes and indeed was, and indeed she was waiting for me outside the flat. So much for having a key. I appeared to be the only one with one and let her in. It ended up being the curtains that she wanted to change; apparently the existing ones were too light and let in the light. I immediately felt bad as I hadn't yet spent a night here. She got to work putting on the new hooks and within 15 minutes had changed the curtains and indeed they were far darker and I resolved to spend at least a few nghts there. She had also bought a red New Year thing to stick on the front door but there was no tape to stick it up so I said I'd sort it soon.

Lin Hong fixing darker curtains

The living room is not exactly pristine

Then she heard me cough and said I must have a cold. That's the way it is here. One cough and they're all telling you how you shouldn't be outside etc. when in fact this annoying cough has been dragging on and off since December when I caught it here. But of course it meant the duvet wasn't thick enough and I couldn't argue, so I ended up following her to her house to pick up another one. We ended up spending 10 minutes trying to put the blanket in the cover and fold it up but eventually sorted it out. Then she got most of a crate of water bottles and we went downstairs where finally she let me go back alone. So back "home" I added the second duvet and now had pretty much all I needed were I to be living here. I'd brought over the stuff I'd need for washing so that was about it; there was hot water, electricity, but somehow it really didn't feel like "home", even when I'd picked up some red Sellotape to stick up the New Year thing on the front door.

Lunch ended up being jiaozi, which is my favourite default, before going to the gym for another personal session. I don't really like my personal trainer; he smells a bit of smoke. But at least I'm not alone in the gym.

Later on at 6.30pm A Wu pinged me to "eat pig" as one does. I told him I'd grab a shower and he said to "hurry up" so nothing has changed in 21 years. Oh blimey, I met him and we got a didi che to the same place we'd gone to last year...almost all blokes and too much alcohol. I wasn't massively in the mood but at least I'd been to the gym. Of course they'd been drinking for an hour or two before I got there so I was forced to ganbei multiple times.

Well I had to table-hop multiple times and play caima with many people but I mostly managed it before coming back to the original table I'd started at. At least there was woman there, so I thought it would be safe, but she appeared to have drunk more than the blokes. But at least her husband was there and she proved it by giving him a kiss on the lips, something that is so rare here. Then she caima'd with me and lost quite a bit and I worried she might be too drunk (a rarity on 2.5% beer but you never know). Then she went round to the other side of the table and announced she was three months pregnant, showing her rather rotund tummy as if proof. Then she came back and sat next to me and lit a cigarette. Jeez I really don't know if "pregnant" just meant "fat", and I really hope it does, or did in this context.

Is she really preggars? I hope not

Eventually enough of us decided it was time to go back, and a didi che was ordered, and we ended up going to the "Chamber of Commerce", which basically means "blokes' drinking place" but I couldn't stand the bloat for that long so around midnight decided to walk it back "home" to Waipo's instead of Lin Hong's. But I wasn't sleepy so went for a bit of a walk and ended up getting called to a table to drink with some folk(s) for half an hour or so. Blimey it was really fun, much more so than the sausagefest earlier. I ended up sleeping at my house rather than Lin Hong's place but didn't feel too guilty.

No nearing...as if I would

Meeting random strangers as you do

Tea with Teacher Yan and night at Xiao Bai de Tian's

I woke up not really knowing where I was but it was my place; I'd streamed the match last night while tethering my phone as of course there's no wifi here despite trying to connect to neighbouring SSIDs with the usual 888888888 password to no effect. But now it was lunchtime so I boringly made use of one of the new bowls and made myself some pao mian. It filled a hole at least.

A bit later in the afternoon I popped in to see Li Kun and drink some tea (and this time it was only tea) before I made the decision to go and practise the piano for the first time in over two weeks. It was a bit of a relief not to be sweating, until of course I started as ragtime is apt to make you. Oh why hadn't I done this before? Of course it's because I get up too late in the morning, sometimes have gym in the afternoon, and am almost always out in the evening. It felt better than a gym session though. But unfortunately they are closing tomorrow afternoon for the New Year so it may be a while before I get the next chance.

But it wasn't long before Li Kun asked if I'd finished practising, and could I come for a meal with music teacher Yan? Well of course. So I got back to his place and we decided to walk to the pig stomach and chicken hotpot place as you do. Or as you don't, as I rarely walk more than 5 minutes with anyone, and this was at least 15. Of course it was a cracking meal...I didn't truthfully remember Yan Laoshi but apparently I'd eaten with him 6 or 7 years ago. Li Laoshi turned up, and Mong was there so at least there were some people I knew. Some other bloke seemed to be in charge and bade us drink some beer but he only had a sip as apparently he had to be somewhere soon to do something.

Some of us at Yan Laoshi's meal

The only thing to disturb my evening was a horrid tummy problem that would only be fixed by a good shit. As we'd walked here in 15 minutes I reckoned I wouldn't have time to go home to Waipo's place to the porcelain princess, so I manly decided I would have to do the deed at the restaurant. Thankfully, from experience, I always check the tissue situation first, and indeed the first loo didn't have any. The second did, but the bloody toilet/keyhole was annoyingly right next to the wall. But I didn't have any more time to negotiate a better deal. There were tissues and that was what counted (yes I had a few in my back pocket but maybe not enough). And with some leaning to my left I managed to perch over the hole and do the deed without too much mess, and got back without people asking why I'd been so long. It felt like a victory.

The oddly-orientated toilet I was forced to use (tissues in the holder)

Eventually after a few more people arrived, Li Kun and I made our excuses and left after ganbeiing with Yan Laoshi who was a bit sad we couldn't stay much longer. But I needed the walk and we went back to Li Kun's studio for a bit of tea before he got a message from Xiao Bai's husband to come over to their bar for a drink. Well I hadn't done so so far this year so was up for it, and took the dian dong che I'd left at Li Kun's earlier. But for some reason, despite having been there numerous times before, I couldn't see where it was. I stopped off where I felt it should be and saw a tiny light from inside. I wandered in and found I was correct, it was just that they had no electricity and only had some battery-powered night-lights to light the two tables that were populated.

Xiao Bai de Tian's by electric-light

Well, that wasn't a problem of course; there was beer and stuff to eat. Xiao Bai and I had a joke about being non-locals and after that she insisted on calling me "bendi ren" (local person) as she thinks I'm more local than her, which I hope is true in a way. Anyway, it was a great time to wind down another great evening

Hanging up toilet tissues and staying up far too late to see us lose again...happy days

Haha it's not that important but it was for me. I'd nicked a pack of toilet tissues for my apartment from Waipo's house but they were the ones that needed to be hung up so that gravity enabled you to take the lowest one. Until now it hadn't been a problem but the packet was effectively upside-down, and by now I'd used it enough that it was difficult to finger-down to pick up a tissue. But no problem! I'd bought a couple of hooks (at the same time as buying a couple of large noodle bowls) and now finally had the tissues using gravity to their effect. And lord knows how much I hate a keyhole toilet but I'm going to have to get more used to it and crowned it while alone in the flat.

Quite satisfying to have a white rabbit to hang toilet tissues on

Haiwei had kindly invited me to his mum's place to eat tonight at 6.30pm, and my personal trainer had suggested this afternoon at 3pm, so after lunch of jiaozi I had a fairly-well planned rest of day. Well as planned as it gets here. Then at 5.23pm Li Kun pinged me to ask where I was eating tonight. I told him I had plans to go to Haiwei's mum's place and he explained that today was 小年, which is effectively the beginning of the New Year period as I recalled from last year. He had only pinged me as he didn't want me to be alone on such an important date. I told him I really appreciated his thinking of me. Really a best friend sort of thing to do.

At 6.30pm I set off on the 3 minute journey to Haiwei's mum's place and by the time I got 100 yards of course he was on the blower to me asking where I was. I didn't get the chance to buy any fruit but it was of no matter as I'm pretty much accepted as family here. I good deal of the family were there, as well as 80s looking calligraphy man who probably has a name, and of course it was a fun family affair, during which I did my best to speak English to Haiwei's two sons.

Cracking evening meal at Haiwei's mum's house

I don't recall how long the meal went on for but I was fully sated of course. A bit later when home, Lin Hong pinged me to ask if I was free for a concert on the 24th. Err...hadn't you just said the other day that it was the 25th? Well yes, but it had changed...ha...so what? Yeah, in for a penny and all that. So I pinged Li Kun to ask if I may be able to borrow the wireless things I used at the concert nearly four weeks ago and of course I could, but then he asked me to come over for a drink at Yang Ming park, the place of the previous concert. Well, "why not?" seems to be the order of the day for most days here, so I ask "now?" and he said yes, so 10 minutes later I was at Feng ge's place for a late bite. So much for my plan of sleeping for 5 hours at 11pm in order to get up for the Paris St Germain match at 4am.

Late night bites at Feng ge's new place near Yang Ming park

But of course it was a great evening, better than sleeping, although I didn't really appreciate the massive lamb bone that was thrust into my bowl that didn't even have any meat on it...as if I was to gnaw on that! Finally home at 2am I somehow managed to stay up to see us put on a pretty crap display with a couple of goals we barely deserved before PSG steam-rollered us...I fell asleep at 3-2 knowing it would end worse.

Short trip to Nanning then a couple of late meals

I admit to sleeping in my own place rather than Lin Hong's last night...I've bloody paid for it so thought I'd better justify it. I got up too late for breakfast and not sure I'd had any lunch too before Xiao Nong pinged me to say she was having her hair done and we were to go to Nanning in a bit. Oh, fair enough, so something planned was actually going to happen. I barely had time to shower before she announced she'd arrived downstairs. Sure enough she shouted at me from a car as I walked to my bike to get my charger.

I really wish more people would take the train to Nanning rather than a bloody car. Not only is it cheaper, but so much faster, given we were going to the centre. But no, it was a car, and just the two of us so probably over £20 but hey. We got there, we walked around, and it was bloody warm with most people in tee-shirts. We walked past A Wu's hotpot place and I suggested getting food a bit later but as luck would have it she got a message to say there was no-one to look after her kids so we would have to go back in a bit...pretty typical I suppose but no complaining. It was a question of booking a didi che to some other place in Nanning to be picked up a few minutes later by another car that was going back to Pingguo and already had a mother and daughter inside.

Yuck...the golden arches in Nanning

A Wu was pinging me to go and eat with some friends on the way back but we first stopped off at mine and grabbed a needed bite to eat, and only at getting on for 9pm did I check with A Wu that he was still there and indeed he was so I left by myself and got there 10 minutes later. At least I got to where he'd sent the dingwei, it even had the name of the hotel. I walked into the hotel and confirmed this with the woman at the desk. But of course this wasn't correct, and it took a 5 minute video call with A Wu for him to finally locate me. Couldn't he have just sent a more accurate dingwei in the first place?

Well it was fine, and we walked around the back of the hotel until finally arriving at some rural looking shack that was apparently Boss Wei's place. As usual there were a couple of women accompanying about 10 pissed blokes, and as I was about 3 hours late it was slightly messy. I managed a few ganbeis with them before realising Tan had tried to call me 10 times this evening but I'd missed them all. So I called her back and explained I'd been busy (true) and now was with A Wu and Boss Wei. "Boss who?", oh, she didn't know him so I explained I'd known him since the summer of 2023 and the boys had eaten with him too. I even let her speak to him on the phone but I think she still didn't trust that he was safe. That's just the way it is.

First meal of the evening with Wei Laoban

Anyway we only stayed there for half an hour before A Wu announced we were going somewhere else, just the two of us. I was grateful that for once he decided it would be a good idea to walk there, I just didn't expect it to take over 20 minutes but he'd been drinking since 6pm and I hadn't really. But it ended up being a pretty fun meal outside some rural house except for the fact that I needed to relieve my bowels which wasn't much fun. But bloody hell I've done it enough times here now and I should be used to it. At least now I don't have to remove my trousers and boxer shorts.

And the final meal where I made some friends and played caima again as you do

Of course there was a lot of caima, and I finally felt a bit drunk, so eventually A Wu and I left and this time after 5 minutes on foot he scanned a couple of public electric bikes and we took those back to where I'd left my bike earlier. Li Kun had pinged me to go and have a drink with him but as it was already getting one for 1am he said he was on his way home. Fair enough. I'd had another wonderful day and evening in Pingguo and I think got back to my place relatively early to sleep, wherever that was.

"Moving" to Lin Hong's dad's place and late bite with Li Kun and friends

Lin Hong had sorted out her dad's place so I thought I'd better go over and bring my stuff there. I couldn't tell her about the place I'd already sorted out so took over minimal clothes and toiletries to echo the ones I have in my place, and resolved to stay there at least some of the time as she's made such an effort for me. Not just for this place but the last 21 years.

Unrelated but slightly amusing jing jiu...I hope it wasn't really from the deer

My new bedroom...could be worse though those curtains bleed light

Lunch and tea were both leftover duck leg, which was fine by me, and separated by a good 2-3 hour siesta. I'd been invited to eat with someone this evening but that was two days ago so I figured it wouldn't happen and I was right. I've been here long enough to know that things generally only go ahead if planned under 24 hours in advance. Indeed a bit later in the evening Xiao Nong pinged me to go to Nanning to "play". In all these years I've not found a better translation. It literally means "play" but also means "relax", or "walk about", I guess anything that isn't necessary or work. So of course I said I could, but knew there would only be a 50/50 chance of it happening.

So I bit later I popped in to see Li Kun for a cuppa but he was about to leave for a few minutes for some reason to do with music. I ended up chatting with a woman I'd seen before and had quite a "normal" chat for this neck of the woods. She didn't have children and I was almost surprised she didn't ask me to find her an English boyfriend as so many others have done. Presently Li Kun came back at about 11pm as did more people and we ate and chatted till the early hours as you do...

Having one of the few "normal" conversations in Pingguo

A bit more lively when Li Kun and friends got back a bit later

Big sausagefest

Woke up to find it wasn't that far from lunchtime so pinged A Wu to see if he wanted to go for a bite. Indeed he said he did and pinged a dingwei and said to meet him very soon of course. Blimey I was expecting to go and eat duck soup but we ended up at Shang hui. I've asked Tan about this. It literally means "chamber of commerce" and I've told her it clearly isn't and she agrees. But A Wu swears it's genuine.

Preparing food for later this afternoon

Well they were definitely gearing up for some big feast later in the day but A Wu and I just had a bowl of noodles and some meat and soup, and then I was allowed to leave but told to come back by 5pm which sounded suspiciously early. I went home to grab a shower and indeed by 4.30pm A Wu was already calling me to come over, so I left around 5pm got stuck in the worst Pingguo traffic jam I've ever encountered. Fair enough, 5.15pm is about the busiest time you can get, with people going home to eat, but even the dian dong ches were stuck.

Of course I received more calls but I got there around 5.30pm and it looked like people had been drinking for two hours or more. I was really not in the mood but had to do three cans' worth of ganbeiing till I had to explain "肚子胀了" (my tummy is bloated) and said I'd be back in 10 minutes as I needed a walk. Needed a break from the booze more like. It ended up being a half hour walk with just my City top on as it was still warmish. Back in Shang hui I managed a couple more ganbeis but still couldn't get into it. It was about four tables all with blokes around them save for a couple of token ladies.

A sausagefest

Then at 8.20pm Ma Yong pinged me to go over to his little shop to have a few drinks. Finally I was getting into the swing of things at Shang hui so said I should be able to make it a bit later. And indeed around 9.30pm I made my excuses to the red-faced gentlemen and drove over to Ma Yong's place. Apparently it was A Ning's son's birthday and they were having a party for him. Well, the kids were - in a different room - and I was given a slice of birthday cake which I actually ate because I couldn't eat most of the stuff at the previous meal.

Nicer late meal with mates

It ended up being a much nicer meal, with wives in tow as well and in general friendly faces. Much more enjoyable than the previous sausagefest. And because it was a kid's birthday party we didn't stay much beyond midnight so I had a relatively early night.

Late night, another performance, and wildcat

Jeez...a drunken Xiao Nong called me at 3.30am to take her "home" and of course I bloody agreed as that is what you do here. But it meant getting to sleep at nearly 5am and I had to be up at 9.30am for the dress rehearsal. And they bloody meant it. Lin Hong told me to go and fetch my guitar as I didn't think they'd need me to do such a practice (last year they didn't anyway) so I had the excuse to leave for a short while. It was rather surreal...four hours' sleep and having to play the guitar on stage in the late morning...but hey. I'd taken a Tramadol and was ok with it. I came back before midday and did my stint on the stage, but the guitar was not loud enough it seemed; the microphone was not close enough to it or something, and they didn't have a 10 metre cable to plug me in. So I said I'd try to find one.

I met Tan's ex-boss at the dress rehearsal

Of course that wasn't to be a big problem, and I should have worded the problem not as it was worded to me, i.e. "try to find a 10 metre guitar (3.5mm) cable". The problem was more "how can we connect the guitar to the sound system?". Because when I pinged Li Kun about the problem he proposed a wireless solution. Of course. So I let Lin Hong know I had a solution and Li Kun told me to pop around when I had time and he would charge them up.

I'd not had much sleep so after a meal of jiaozi at my local place went back for a small siesta and then practised 有没有人告诉你 with Xiao Nong and she said she had confidence in me, which helped quite a bit. Then it was already gone 6pm so I left with my guitar in tow and stopped off at Li Kun's to pick up the wireless transmitter and receiver. We had a quick test run and it seemed to work ok so I had high hopes for the actual stage.

Ah...a guitar and a laptop make a house a home...

Li Kun's excellent solution for the guitar issue

At 6.45pm I got a message from one of us presenters to hurry up to take my place so I told them I was on my way and 10 minutes later I turned up to see there were about 200 people already in the audience. I had the presence of mind to mention the wireless solution to the sound engineer and we did a quick test which meant me getting up on stage to ensure that the connection would work over the 8 metres or so between him and me. Even that was a little nerve-wracking but at least it bloody worked and I didn't have to sing anything. But next it was time to do the presenting....

Presenting all of the eight characters I had to say...

I knew I only had eight characters to say though and this time didn't need to translate them to pinyin. I also knew I was 24th out of 25 acts so I might have time a bit later for a bit of Dutch courage. Except when I saw the printout of the performances they'd "promoted" me to 5th on the list! Bloody hell. That would be about 15 minutes into the show and we were about to go on stage for the opening presentation. Well we had a couple of minutes to prepare and I was to be the first on stage, but wouldn't have to talk till for a minute or so. I guess having done this before in Bangxu made me a bit less jinzhang (nervous) but this was Pingguo so I felt a little bit of pressure. But the opening passed fine and I didn't screw up at least. Then I saw the semi-professional dancers and wondered what the hell I was doing here...they'd been practising for months and I learnt my song in a few days.

Luckily, I'd had the forethought to buy some jingjiu and happily admit to downing a little of it neat before I was due. It was not the most-prepared set in the world as they had to find a stool for me to sit on and set up the microphone at the right height. But I didn't rush. I introduced myself as husband of Bangxu woman who comes from the UK (me, not her), and said I would sing a Chinese song. And just bloody did it. It's not the easiest of songs and I tuned down the highest notes, but it got a better reception than the other acts and I realise of course it's because of my ethnicity rather than my talent. And afterwards I thanked everyone, said I loved Pingguo (true), and especially Bangxu (sort of true), which got another round of applause. And I walked off a very relieved man. I believe relief, or whatever the neurotransmitter is that it triggers, is the best drug, and I daresay related to whatever it is that is transmitted during an orgasm.

有没有人告诉你？

Lu zong had already invited me to go to his bar at 7pm tonight but I'd told him I mightn't be able to make it till a lot later, but at 9pm I noticed one of the presenters had left already, so I asked A Ge permission to leave and he said I could. So 10 minutes later I was in his bar in Jiangbin Lu again and this time I was happy to indulge in a few ganbeis as I'd been relatively good up till then. I didn't know too many of the people there be got on like a house on fire. What a strange expression.

Another great meal with Lu zong and mates

Anyway, it turned out that what I was eating was wildcat. I had to doublecheck that it wasn't doublespeech for something else but no, apparently it really was. I guess I felt like people who have eaten dog for the first time without realising it. Oh well, c'est la vie (except not for the wildcat). Lu zong got a bit drunk and was taken home soon after midnight and I think I followed pretty soon after. All-in-all a quite exhausting day but in a very nice way.

Wildcat meat...

A Wu's new car and first full day in new flat

Well it was a bit strange waking up in yet another bed, but hopefully I become used to this one. I'd slept well, and knew there was no chance of any family coming in. But I felt bad about Lin Hong who had sorted out her dad's place, so I resolved to spend some time there at least.

Around midday I pinged A Wu to go for a bite and he sent me a dingwei so half an hour later I turned up and gave him a call. It was at a BYD dealership and he was apparently having a test drive, so I walked about a bit to soak up some sun until he got back, when we had a chat with woman from the dealership about certain options, and which colour he'd like (a sort of greyish beige I wasn't too keen on). Then he sent me another dingwei and I presumed that was where we were to eat so I set off there and met him 10 minutes later. But it was just another BYD dealership where we were looking at the new model he was soon to buy. For someone deep in debt (according to Tan) he does seem to have quite deep pockets.

A Wu's soon-to-be new car (or at least this model)

Then Xiao Nong called to have something to eat and as I realised I could be waiting a while for A Wu I told him I had other arrangements for eating and that was totally acceptable. Ha, sometimes it works the other way round. So I picked her up and we ended up simply getting pao mian from the shop outside my new place and turning on the water dispenser so it fed boiling water for them. Sometimes the simple things in life are just fine. We had a couple of beers and afterwards I managed another siesta as you do.

In the evening I got some duck legs as you do and we maybe had a couple more beers. Much later Li Kun pinged me to go to KTV but as I knew I had to do my performance tomorrow I said I'd just come for half an hour. So much for that...I was back home at gone 2am and we needed to do a dress-rehearsal at 10am.

New flat sorted

Despite my relatively early night last night I didn't stir in time for breakfast and I think I had pao mian for lunch. But yeah I realised I had sorted out a flat for me for the next four weeks. I really appreciate Lin Hong's dad's apartment but don't feel comfortable there, so Xiao Nong helped me get in contact with someone and I saw this place for 800 kuai for a month so booked it there and then, and I should be able to move in today or tomorrow. It's a bit far away from the centre but still only about 7 minutes on the dian dong che. So now it was a question of sorting out more house stuff that would take the best part of a day.

So bedding, bowls, beer and other stuff not beginning with "b" were bought. But I'd also bought 15 sessions with a personal trainer and I wasn't going to waste them so I'd arranged a session at 3pm. I'm not massively impressed but more importantly it gets me to go to the gym and I'm not alone. Most people there are with mates and it feels slightly weird to be there by oneself.

I grabbed a shower at Jiuma's place as I don't have my stuff at Lin Hong's place, then rode down to the new flat to sign the contract. I was embarrassingly nearly half an hour late, but it didn't seem to be a problem. I hadn't thought about the length of stay but of course they don't do short-term rents so I negotiated a three-month contract, saying I'd extend it if I could, and though I doubt it will be possible I really hope I'm able to come back to take advantage of it.

In the evening Xiao Nong said to come out to KTV so I said ok but she just said she was waiting for Boss Zhou to send her the number of the room and I heard nothing after that. So typical for here...not even a simple "oh...maybe we won't be going" but instead radio silence. But I'm so used to it now I don't really care, and when Li Kun pinged me an hour later to go to the new bar on the 4th floor above the supermarket by the guangchang I had no qualms in accepting, as I was already somewhat in the mood to go out. In the mood to go out, but not to perform on the stage but one evening maybe I will. The thing on my mind though was in two evenings' time I'm due to perform on a proper stage in front of maybe a few hundred people. Anyway, it was a nice evening with not too much caima, and a relatively early night in my new place.

I quite like the LEDs at this new bar on the 4th floor

North-eastern dumplings and raucousness

Well clearly I wasn't up in time for breakfast but Li Kun pinged me at 9.53am to send me the money that had only finally come through well after 48 hours. Well at least it had come through.... At midday I asked if he wanted to eat and he responded by saying we'd go to Liang ge's place to eat North-eastern dumplings. Fair enough. He sent a dingwei and I said I'd be there in 25 minutes and was only 20 minutes late. Li Kun was there with his wife, and before long we were served with delicious starters before the dumplings. Of course Liang ge wouldn't let me pay afterwards but I'll definitely come back to be a paying customer in the future.

Li Kun's wife and Li Kun about to enjoy North-eastern dumplings

We went back to Li Kun's office afterwards to drink tea, but as I'd only had 4-5 hours' sleep I said I'd take a beer and get a nap in a bit. That was fine of course but of course more people turned up over the next hour. It was getting on for 3pm and I asked Li Kun when he had to get back to work but he seemed to say "soon" with a wave of the hand. I'd like his job. But I manly managed my way through two cans of 2.8% beer before excusing myself, and did indeed indulge in a bit of a siesta for a couple of hours.

Enjoying post-prandial tea (or beer in my case) with friends after lunch...does anyone work here?

Then Nong pinged me to eat beef as you do. I was grateful for having a plan again so told her I'd be there in an hour as I had to do boring house stuff like hang out clothes as you do. So I got there a bit later and of course muscle boss was there, as well as a few people I knew and didn't know. Well it was mighty fun until a guitar was thrust into my arms but I didn't thrust it back and managed a few tunes to their satisfaction. Paying for my supper yet again, but very happily again.

Nong (in the foreground) and friends for a music-riddled evening

Of course we played caima, and I ping Li Kun to come, which indeed he did 20 minutes later. It got nicely raucous and there was caima and dancing and laughs all round. But I knew my limits and around 12.30am I made my excuses and went home...possibly one of my earlier nights this year so far. At 1am Li Kun pinged me to say he was at another place and to come and join him but this time I was too done in and told him I'd just got home. One of the few decent decisions I've made here.

A bit raucous but very fun

Meal with hosts and KTV

It was weird and nice waking up in a new place. Not as nice and weird as my first morning this year in China but still....

Anyway after lunch Lin Hong pinged me to eat at 5.30pm with the other presenters. They really take this sort of thing seriously, which is totally fair enough. I've been put in a new Weixin group for this year and they were discussing how many lines I'd have to say. I'm guessing after last year they don't want me to have too many! Indeed they had only planned to let me introduce two acts which is fair enough and I said I'd be up for it.

In the end I got to the restaurant fashionably late as usual and the same people from last year were there except for one bloke who wasn't. The young woman is fabulously attractive, and I would wager would pass for one of the objectively most beautiful women in the world. Annoyingly, she is also one of those born leaders. She oozes confidence and I guess it's partly a result of pretty-privilege but she doesn't in any way use it to put others down. I predict she will be the first female premiere of China in the modern era.

A meal with us hosts to discuss the festival in a few days

I didn't care too much for beer, but A Ge ordered four bottles for the two of us. And the food was amazing so I didn't waste it by having any rice. We talked a little about the show on the 18th but didn't go into too many details; I guess it was more an excuse to get together for a nice nosh. Two more beers were ordered, or maybe it was four, but we didn't go to excess.

I had no plans for the evening but that changed when Nong pinged me to go to sing song at Miss You KYV at nearly 10pm. Well of course, why not? I said I'd be half an hour and turned up 45 minutes later after a couple of beers as I knew I'd have a microphone thrust into my hands before I'd have time for two more. And of course it was a fun time...more friends I knew turned up and it turned into another night that I put in the justification bank for coming back again this year. Looking at Weixin messages it looks like I got back at 3am to let her know I was home safely.... Surely I'm too old for this.

Surely I'm too old for this...

New place to live...

Well apparently it's not great that I'm living at Waipo's place as Jiuma and Tan are still in disagreements about the housing situation, so Tan told me to get in contact with Lin Hong about moving into her late father's two-bedroom flat. And a matter of hours later I was there. Hmm...no wifi and only one bar on the phone was not a good sign, but first world problems that can be fixed. Lin Hong already had an army of aunties cleaning out the place, though it had the signs that a hoarder had been living there and they didn't remove all the excess furniture. Still....

The bedroom of the flat I'm supposed to go to

and the ladies cleaning it out

A bit later I arrived at the gym to meet A Xia. We ended up arranging what I think is a very expensive 2980 kuai order of 15 hours of personal trainer time. The selling point was that any I didn't use, Tan could use when she's back in Pingguo, which may be May for Chuan Chuan's wedding. 

Includes 15 private lessons, 1 monthly family card, 1 fitness water cup. One-to-one tracking of diet plan, exclusive training plan, fitness emotion management, exclusive training area.

But I did it mainly because that was the excuse I gave Tan for my last-minute return to Pingguo. Maybe she'll learn now that I do listen to her. So the next thing was to send money to Li Kun so he could fund my Weixin account. But this was an expensive one as I needed money for the near future as well so sent 6000 kuai. At least that what I hoped. Normally it takes a few minutes to arrive but it hadn't arrived by the evening and I had to message the woman at the gym that I'd pay asap, but of course it wasn't an issue.

I met Xiao Nong for a bite to eat later and although wanted an early night that wasn't forthcoming of course.

1000th day in China, arranging a flat, and impromptu drink with Li Kun and Nong

I think today is my 1000th day in China! Some milestone I guess. At least if you count in base 10. It's not so impressive in hexadecimal, though if I reach 1024 days it might be a binary win. Sadly I have a spreadsheet for this sort of stuff, and by the time I'm due to go back I should have spent 1031 days of my life in China, being 2.82 years, or 5.3% of my life here (or 13% since I first came here), above 3.46% for France in 3rd place.

It was another weird day though, falling asleep late at 3.20am and up at 8am. I watched some American football as you do and dozed for 20 minutes till 10am and then 90 minutes later dozed another 20 minutes till midday. That should have been me up for the day but I forced myself to eat a boiled egg and some pao mian and that seemed to do the trick as I then slept nearly 3h30 from 1pm to 4.30pm.

Strange sleep patterns

The weather report said it was 20° but I didn't trust it and indeed I was glad to have my hoodie with me as I went for a walk to the guangchang. I ended up at Lu zong's water shop again drinking tea after I'd bought some xiaolongbao from next door where the normal woman boss is still away from. During this time I pinged Lin Hong to see if it would be ok to stay at her late father's place and of course it would be. We could sort it out tomorrow. More importantly she invited me over for tea in half an hour, so I made my excuses and went home where I barely had time to grab half a beer before being told to hurry up as they were about to eat at the milk shop I'd been to a few times before.

I bought a few jin of wo gan (沃柑) to take to Lin Hong's meal

It was a typically friendly meal and I did a video call with Tan to see her big sisters from Bangxu before we started to eat and I made the most of some chicken and duck breasts to the delight of the ladies. I was the only one on the beer as two and then three blokes worked on the baijiu. The meal maybe lasted 90 minutes and I helped clean up before popping to Guanmart to top up on beers for home, when I decided I should pop out to see Zhang Hua around 10pm. But his bbq place was closed for some reason (on a Sunday night) so I decided to pop to Li Kun's where of course he was there with the little man and Ma Yong. I pinged Nong whom I'd not yet seen this year and she wasn't busy so popped round and we had a nice chat after I bought some jing jiu as she doesn't really do beer, and I joined her in a glass of it.

Lovely meal again with Lin Hong...

My first four beers had 谢谢品尝 written on them (thanks for tasting, i.e. you lose)

The fifth told me I had won but to redeem it 12 days ago...I didn't moan!

Nong, Li Kun, Huang Song (I now know his name), and music teacher (I've forgotten his)

Some music mixer that cost 10000 second hand

Li Kun had some new second hand mixing station that Ma Yong had recently bought for 10000 kuai (30k new) and I had no idea how it worked. But we listened to music they had created recently and it seemed fairly professional. But by 2am I was flaking as were all of us so we said our goodbyes and I was glad to have instigated a bit of a social evening, even though Li Kun had ordered the raw fish we devoured.

I'd had thoughts of watching the Eagles-Packers game at 5.30am but had also been in contact with A Xia, who is now a gym addict, and arranged to meet her tomorrow at 3pm to arrange a personal trainer for the next 4 weeks as this was my main excuse to come to China this time. I fell asleep soon after 3am.

Walk followed by great evening with Lu zong

I woke up at 8.30am to find some messages from home I needed to attend to. Well over seven hours' sleep was more than usual so I was quite happy and considered myself beyond jetlag and up for the day. Until I woke up at midday, and then again at 12.45pm. Oh well, according to my app I'd had over 11 hours' sleep so I must have needed it.

I had lunch of the three leftover xiaolongbao, a pack of nuts from the aeroplane, and the last yoghurt to go with my supplements. I thought about doing some exercise but I found the 95% full can of beer I'd somehow managed to open and take a swig of last night, and decided it would be wrong to let it go flat. And then another found itself open but I didn't go silly...it would have been a waste of the day, so decided a long walk would be the best way of catching up on exercise that otherwise wouldn't happen.

I walked up Deng Xiaoping hill and was physically shaking by the time I got to the top. It was apparently 16° but had felt half that when I left the house. By the top of the hill it felt like the 20s and shortly after I removed my coat. It was actually lovely to be outside in this weather rather than the 2° I'd left in London, and after an hour, while on the phone to Awl, I heard someone shout that I'd come back, and it was coming from Lu zong's water shop.

He was very happy to see me and we had a hug and I was invited to drink tea, which I happily did. We spent the next 30 minutes chatting and he invited me to his bar in Jiangbin Lu and as I had nothing on I happily accepted again. He asked me to invite Huang Lei, but he said he had a celebration to attend and would see the situation later, at least that's a literal translation. I also asked Zhang Hua, but fair enough he'd probably be busy in his bbq place, so I said we'd go and eat there another day.

Lu zong on the right and a couple of mates with whom I drank tea in the water shop as you do

Next it was to Guanmart to pick up the usual beer and yoghurt, and some dried squid and boiled eggs as I'd not been invited to eat tea and would need something before the bbq we'd no doubt have in three hours. So a pack of squid and one boiled egg later I was full enough, but started to feel tired again. Should I have a coffee and risk being up all night, or should I have a beer to try to get into the mood for a couple of hours' time. Well I did the latter, then felt a bit guilty and more tired, so after a couple of sips of my second beer I stopped and made the coffee from the small jar I'd bought last month and the small jar of Coffee-mate I'd bought last summer.

When I got home it was 6.97km so I went out again in my slippers to walk enough to get to 7km

I don't know if it did the trick but I didn't sleep but did finish the second beer after the coffee. Then I realised I'd better put out the clothes I'd just washed. But then Tan decided to call and we chatted about where I should stay. I shouldn't really be here at Waipo's house due to her falling out with Jiuma, and I'd had no response re staying a month at a hotel for 800 kuai for a month. So Tan said I should get in contact with Lin Hong and go to stay at her dad's place which was empty, so I said I'd call her later, though I'm not in a massive rush as I don't think anyone will be here for a while.

According to the weather report it was 4° but it didn't feel much different from earlier. It meant the clothes wouldn't dry for a long while although it's supposed to be 20° tomorrow so who knows? I grabbed my first shower in 33 hours and at 9.05pm pinged Lu zong to let him know I was on my way. I've spent a decent amount of time at his bar so brought my second and last bottle of duty-free, being Sicilian lemon gin, plus a bottle of tonic water bought from my local Co-op, and he was genuinely appreciative of it and thanked me very much. I'd invited Huang Lei but he was at a wedding celebration and may come later, Zhang Hua but he was working, and Li Kun, who said he'd be along later.

I got to the bar at 9.20pm and Lu zong was there with a woman who I think works there. I immediately had two pig eyeballs thrust in my bowl which I wasn't massively happy with but I'd had a light tea and was hungry. I much preferred the duck foot that was passed my way later. He was on the white stuff but poured me a beer and it was like old time. As time passed more people turned up, meaning more ganbeis. Presently Huang Lei turned up, the worse for wear, but it was cool as he decided to drink beer rather than bai jiu. Some young bloke turned up and we made him sit with us for a couple of beers before we went to his table and ended up drinking four beers with that lot. That's just how it is here.

I know where Lu zong's bar is now thanks to this graphic that is beamed onto the pavement outside...I'm not drunk...i...i can drink

The other part-owner of the bar in the foreground, Lu zong on the right then anti-clockwise Li Kun, Huang Lei, and another mate

We proceeded to eat snails and pig foot before cooking pig innards which I didn't massively appreciate. Li Kun turned up and an hour later Huang Lei declared he was going home, which I was grateful for because earlier he asked if he could crash at my place but I knew Tan wouldn't be happy about that. Apparently he'd been up at 5am to do a lot of driving for the wedding, before indulging in rather a lot of booze, so I was grateful he'd turned up in the first place.

A better quality pic from the other part--owner's phone...well mine is over 7 years old now so I'm due a new one

A bit later Lu zong declared he'd had enough too and made a move home. Li Kun and and the rest of us stayed maybe an hour longer during which we played caima of course, before we finished the beer and decided to leave at getting on for 1.30am. That was perfect timing as City were to play Salford at 1.45am, so I just had enough juice to get the dian dong che back home and put it on charge as now with the cold it's not getting much more than 20km per charge. I'm considering getting new batteries for about 500 kuai but I could probably get a new dian dong che for 3000...though would I get the chance to use it?

Anyway I was home and found a good stream and it was a relatively predictable victory over a team three leagues' lower, and I only had three beers during the whole match, although I was dropping off halfway through the second half. All-in-all another great day in Pingguo.

Sleep, Incense, Huang Lei, Wu ge's birthday, Li Kun bar...

Although I awoke at 11am I managed another 30 minutes' shuteye in the comfortable hotel bed, before it dawned on me I was really back in Pingguo! After a shower I checked out 15 minutes late, not that they care a jot. Actually, the Trip app did say I had late checkout but I never actually checked how late that would be. I walked home and lunch was yesterday's leftovers with supplements and yoghurt I'd left in the fridge a couple of weeks ago. I thought at first they may be out of date but recalled that the 4th December must be the date of creation (not in the holy sense) rather than the best-before date, and took a chance.

Soon after I'd eaten, Chuan Chuan pinged me to ask if I'd come back to Pingguo, by which she meant someone had told her I'd come back and of course she knew. But the reason she messaged me was nice and unexpected; she asked me to burn some incense for Waipo. This I did of course, and bowed three times even though there was no-one there to witness. I also sent a picture to show that I'd understood and done it. I asked if she'd be coming to Pingguo and she said probably for New Year so I told her we'd go for a drink as I won't be able to make it for her wedding in early May.

Burning incense for Waipo and her husband

Huang Lei pinged me to eat at the "2nd floor" where we'd eaten a couple of times in the past, most recently 3 weeks ago for his wife's birthday. I didn't ask the occasion but said I should be able to make it. Then I may have had a beer or two as somehow, I lay down and managed to doze for 90 minutes so I must have needed it.

I got up soon after 6pm and realised I wouldn't have time to shower before going to meet Huang Lei so just got my stuff together. Of course he called me to ask where I was so I told him 2 minutes and found the place but couldn't find any shop selling fruit but instead happened upon Huang Lei himself who presumably had come downstairs to find me. So I went up empty-handed but it was cool...some other bloke turned up also empty-handed and in fact I don't think anyone brought any fruit. It was just blokes, and we were arranged in groups around the table in terms of what we were drinking. Huang Lei, A Ning, and a couple of other blokes were on the 53% baijiu, two or three blokes were on the 22% baijiu, and then another bloke and me were on the 3% beers. Fair enough, it meant pouring your neighbour's (or neighbours') drink more practical.

About to eat a hearty huoguo at the 2nd floor

It was a fine meal and everything except some fish was raw as there was a huoguo in the middle of the table, as is quite usual for the winter. And to be fair it was pretty cold and I kept my coat on for the first hour or so. Then, around 9.30pm Wu ge called me to go to A Hoc's place where I was last night so I said I'd be there shortly. Shortly being nearly an hour later when he called again. But it's quite normal here...already three other blokes had turned up during the meal, and one had already left. So I made my excuses and drove over to A Hoc's fried chicken place again.

Wu ge's and another bloke's birthday meal

Traditional Guangxi drinking song?

Well I recognised A Hoc and Wu ge but not the others. It transpired it was Wu ge's and some other bloke's birthday, so after a bite to eat a cake arrived and they had the tradition of smearing some of the cream onto the birthday boys' foreheads. The token woman had clearly had a few, and broke into a song which was probably a traditional Guangxi drinking song rather than a birthday song. Ma Yong had messaged me to ask where I was but I'd not got back to him. He said he was at Li Kun's drinking "tea" so a bit later I made my excuses again and went over there.

But Li Kun wasn't there. Rather, he sent a dingwei to show that he was at a bar at the football stadium. So Ma Yong and I drove over there at midnight. I suddenly realised I was flaking and didn't even manage to stay a whole hour, and somehow managed to get home and was asleep not long after 1.15am for a change.

Final destination of the night...