Macau and City's first of the season

Happy 43rd to Tan!

As it just rather overcast but not raining we got our passports and at around midday went to look for taxis to take us to Gongbei. We had been lucky on Friday that a London cab turned up when we were queueing in the taxi rank in Gongbei, but hailing a cab would prove to be more difficult. The first 10 or so that went passed were all full - then we saw people down the road before us hailing what we would have caught, so had to make our own way further down the road. I'm sure there is an Uber equivalent here but at this moment I had no data on my phone and even when I did it was only Edge (2.5G) so would have taken an age to download - and then what? I'd need some Chinese bank account or credit card probably. Momo, his mum, and Leilei then caught a cab and luckily a couple of minutes later Momo's brother and I got another.

I noticed that the taxi's odometer read 999999

We beat them to Gongbei somehow and when they arrived we decided it was best (cheapest) to eat here first, so went to a bustling Guangdong tea house, which really means a restaurant where they also serve tea. Of course we ordered too much but it was lovely food and we ended up da bao'ing what we couldn't finish. None of us really knew what to do to get to Macau - I'd not even bothered looking anything up online. So we entered some shopping area underground where we found signs to Aomen and eventually found ourselves in a queue. This lasted 15 minutes and we were relieved to see we'd kept our Chinese departure cards in our passports as we hadn't so much considered leaving China as much as entering Macau. Once our passports were stamped we thought that was it as we walked past a coach park and wondered where to go. But oh no, now there was the queue to get into Macau - about 20 minutes. I said "obrigado" to the customs bloke when I was let through and he just nodded at me in a queer manner as if I'd spoken gobbledigook.

It's customary here to use hot tea or water to wash the bowls and chopsticks you are about to use first - you have to make sure not to drink it as it comes out of a teapot the same shape as the tea teapot

Finally we were in, but like an ignorant Brexiteer, we realised we had no plan on what to do when we had reached our goal. We'd heard about free shuttle buses to get to casinos but that wasn't exactly what we wanted to do, so we found an underground bus stop and went inside the first bus that came and asked the driver which bus would take us to the centre. He didn't really know what we were on about. Macau is about the size of Lewisham and it's pretty much walkable from north to south in 45 minutes. So he advised the number 3 and straight away the number 3 came. We weren't the only people wanting the number 3 though, and there was not enough space to get on. But actually this was good news. We'd all connected to wifi here and found suddenly we could connect to Google!

The boys were totally transfixed on their phones as they checked their youtube messages and instagram this and that. To be honest I also managed to download an offline map of Macau from Google, as long as I missed out most of the mainland which was not downloadable. This would prove to be handy. But it was like oxygen had been injected into the air and we breathed deeply until the next bus came.

We got off 20 minutes later in a bustling part of town and spent the next half an hour walking around the charming windy streets. Macau had resembled Hong Kong until we reached this area, but now had a touch of Lisbon's Alfama district about it. It was pretty touristy though, and we saw a fair few westerners. Every sign and nearly every shop was written in Portuguese and Traditional Chinese characters, which I've heard mainlanders express a preference for. Certainly they are more intricate and I suppose prettier, but they were simplified in the mainland to help the less educated learn to read and write. I can't say whether this is a good or bad thing, though for me it hasn't been a bad thing from a learning perspective.

Momo and Leilei were adamant that they wanted zhenzhu naicha, pearl tea, or "bubble tea" as it's often translated. We happened upon a Taiwanese tea shop that served exactly that and rested in the freezing air-conditioned premises where I chose a more mature lemon tea with only a tad of sugar and the boys paid a little extra for extra pearls in their tea. We decided when we left we would head in the direction of Da San Ba, whatever that was. Then I found out why the young boys wanted the pearl tea - they'd finished the drink and were left with the soft, sugary pearls, which they were sucking up then firing pea-shooter style at various (non-human) targets. I really felt I should tell them off but I equally wanted to do the same thing. I compromised by telling them not to aim in any vicinity of people which they mostly did.

The boys in one of Macau's more bustling thin streets

Da San Ba was apparently the Chinese pronunciation of Saint Paul's Cathedral - I suppose from the Portuguese, which sort of makes sense as Saint Paul would be São Paulo. I gather it was built soon after the Portuguese arrived some 400 years ago but all that remains is the front wall and a few other bits. It was sprawling with tourists and not massively interesting to be fair, so a bit later we walked through another thin street known for food, where loads of bits of jerky and little cakes were being given out as samples. Of course the boys took advantage of this and by the time we'd walked the length of the street were pretty much stuffed.

Outside Da San Ba

As we were in the gambling capital of Asia, we thought we should at least pay a visit to one of the many casinos, so went to the Hotel Lisboa in new Pujing the "Pu" is the first syllable of Putaoya (Portugal) and the "jing" is the last syllable of Beijing (Beijing) but I'm not sure what the significance of that is, other than it is the main gambling area. Unfortunately or not, the casinos were strictly over-21, and although either of us over-21s could have stayed with the kids and let the other gamble, it wasn't really in the spirit of the outing, and I had no problems with not losing money.

Feet were getting tired, so we walked back and tried to get a bus from the other side of the road from whence we came, but found out we actually needed to be on the other side for some strange reason. At least crossing the road here is easier as they drive on the left with right-hand drive cars as per Hong Kong. Although we'd changed 500 kuai into HK dollars, we weren't sure we'd have enough to buy a meal here; we'd both bought some massage medicine for our respective Waipo's at 78 kuai each, plus the pearl tea, so thought it best to go back to the mainland for tea.

Back at the underground bus stop again we got a quick 5 minute fix of Google and other mainland-blocked-related services before finding our way to leave Macau again. It was a longer queue this time I suppose as it was evening. Despite reading loads of Portuguese all afternoon I was a little sad I'd not heard a single word the whole time, not even from the officials. A pity as it's pretty much going to be a dead language here soon at this rate. Of course we had to re-write landing cards to get back into the mainland, which meant writing Waipo's address in characters again. And the queue was a good half an hour this time in the "Foreigners" channel, which we all had to take. But the customs official was very friendly and commented very positively on my scrawl of our address. After he stamped me back in, I noticed that Momo's mum had written their address in pinyin and I guess I could have done the same if I only knew what the pinyin was.

The mainland did feel like home though, and we got a late bite to eat as it was getting on for 10pm after the near hour it took from the 300 metres from the bus stop back to Gongbei. We found a Guilin noodles place where Momo's mum could have her motherland food and I could have rice and a nice cold beer. Yet another 20 minute queue for the taxis and we were home not that long before midnight. The City game was to start at 12.30 and I'd got a couple of beers for the occasion. We had been due to stay in a hotel tonight but Momo's mum's younger brother had decided to delay coming to Zhuhai by a day to allow us to stay here an extra night. Of course I tried to change this and in fact had been secretly looking forward to a hotel where I might have more chance of watching the match, but the decision had been made and that was it.

Guilin noodles that make you sneeze

The wifi in Momo's house only works when the computer is on, as it has the only Internet connection and shares it via its wifi. I thought this would be well annoying but on the first night I'd looked around at other SSIDs for the first I tried the usual passwords: 888888888, 12345678, and 123456789, with no joy, then I tried the second, 88888888 - no, 12345678 - bingo! I had connected and had decent Internet and a fairly strong signal. I'd even used that last night to dial into a meeting. So tonight after searching in vain for a tv channel that would show the match, I found a dodgy stream just in time for the kickoff. It was a bit stuttery but yes, we got a penalty in the fourth minute that Aguero converted! Oh I was looking forward to the next 85 minutes. But bollocks, suddenly the wifi went. I tried resetting the adapter but nothing. I tried my work laptop and phones but it was down! Of course the computer was turned off now and people were going to bed. So I found all the SSIDs I could and tried the various passwords but none worked. I was gutted. All I could do in the end was use my work SIM roam. I didn't want to take the micky so I used UC Browser which is good at filtering images and adverts and focusing on text, and followed the match via a forum, which I find is more up-to-date and informative than sports websites like the BBC. Damn, Sunderland of course scored despite our 75% possession - will nothing change? But with 3 minutes to go we went ahead thanks to an ex-Man U defender heading in a Navas cross to his own goal and we managed to defend our lead till the end. I'll take the three points but this was a shaky start. Sleep came soon after the 2.30 finish.

Rainy and language-bullying and no train tickets back to Pingguo

Momo's mum and Waipo were moaning about how hot it was in Zhuhai, and how Guiyang was much more liang kuai. Leilei and I didn't know what she meant as liang kuai to us was 2 kuai, or about 23p. It transpires that it means "pleasantly cool". Well today we were going to go to the park as compared to yesterday it was liang kuai. But what we didn't notice from up on the 21st floor of Momo's building was that it was actually still raining, so when we got to the bottom it was decided we wouldn't go out after all and Momo's brother went to get some jiaozi that we'd eat at home for lunch.

The kids had wanted to go swimming, so I suggested as it was raining wouldn't it be a good idea to do that in the complex's outdoor pool. It was decided that that was a good idea, but that we'd play ping pong first to have some sweat to wash off. There are a few outside tables with metal nets, but the only table tennis set they had was a really cheap one with bats with short handles designed to be held in the spoon fashion, and balls that were quite clearly not round. But it didn't matter that much; the table had pools on it that affected the bounce so I had my first not-very-competitive game of the year in China, and played some basketball with a football too.

I was surprised that it appeared to cost 100 kuai for the four of us to use the pool. Ok, it had an attendant but I would have thought some sort of monthly cost would have paid for this. And even if it didn't it was more expensive than when the four of us go in London. But it was quite good fun and one of the older blokes in the pool saw me swim and said "good swimming!" This is a far more educated place than somewhere like Pingguo - not just because it has good schools and universities, but it has some sort of "special economic region" label attached to it. I understand as Shenzhen is to Hong Kong, so Zhuhai is to Macau. It's also a damn sight cleaner than any other mainland city I've been to. And the infrastructe is noticeably better, and better looked after.

Ah Macao - I'd never considered going there before but thought given we had no option but to buy bloody expensive two-year multi-entry visas, why not? Momo's mum was interested too, as they all have the same type of visa, so we said we'd look at going tomorrow if the weather was clement.

The weather didn't change all day so we decided to have tea at home too - Momo's Waipo cooked rice and his mum ordered meat to be delivered. Unfortunately each portion of "meat" was a whole meal, i.e. loads of rice and a little meat, and Momo's mum realised how different ordering food can be between different cities. It didn't matter one jot about the weather - Momo and Leilei were having a great time together so I didn't matter when I had to disappear for a couple of hours to work. In the evening I nipped out for a quick walk on my own and happened upon the Chinese equivalent of a mini Tesco. I sneaked a small bottle of Lemon-vodka as I was hoping to watch the first day of the Premier League tomorrow, or Ying Chao as it is known here. Annoyingly, the cashier spoke to me in English and said I needed ID. I told him in Chinese if he wanted it he'd have to wait for me to go home and get my passport. Then I realised I was taking part in language-bullying.

Language-bullying is something I've been a victim of more times than most. It really should be some sort of crime. If someone speaks to you in one language, it should be a common courtesy to reply to them in the same one if you are able. I know I prefer it when people do that to me in a foreign language. But I'd replied to him in Mandarin and immediately felt guilty, so I made up some conversation just to speak to the shopkeeper bloke in English to make him feel better. He seemed to appreciate that and then said it was ok I didn't need to go and get my ID. He asked if I was an English teacher and we had a mini conversation so we both won - he got his little English hit and I saved time getting my passport. So many times in France and Portugal, not to mention the UK, I've been language-bullied - the person hears that you have an accent and responds to you in English, basically saying "my English is better than your French/Portuguese". Yeah maybe that's true but then everyone learns English, it's on the tv and so many day-to-day objects, and you need it to have just about any professional job - yet you call us lazy for not learning other languages? What chance do you give us when we make such an effort to communicate with you in your country in your language and you respond to us in ours, when we've not had your language osmosified into us from a very early age? But not the Spanish though, in general I've found them to be more than happy to respond in their own language. And the Chinese in general.

Outside the supermarket there were some signs showing good values we should all seek to instill - friendship, hard work, honesty, democracy...what? Democracy? Where was I? Was there corruption happening in Zhuhai? Was Zhuhai really so different from the rest of China - a stepping stone from mainland to Macau? I'd love to know how that sign got there but feel I never will.

Even the characters read minzhu - democracy - the first such "sign" in the mainland?

It dawned on me that the train was rather full on the way to Guangzhou, and maybe I should look at ordering tickets for the return journey. To my considerable annoyance I found they were all sold out till Tuesday, and even Tuesday only had standing tickets - for 5h14m I don't think so. We couldn't really stay later than Monday as there would be family meals etc., so I thought about the coach - but 12 hours on a stinky coach was one journey I'd made before in 2008 and wasn't going to do again in a hurry, especially with Leilei. So I looked at dreaded flights. It was going to be about £130 to fly to Nanning from Guangzhou, so was just about to click to buy when I thought I'd check if there was a Zhuhai airport. Indeed there was, and it was a few quid cheaper, not to mention we wouldn't have to get a train to Guangzhou, then spend another hour and a half getting to the airport. So I booked it for Sunday evening (checking there was lounge access first) - Leilei was only 380 kuai with no tax and I was more than double - had it been a European flight he'd have been nearly the same cost. We had planned to go Monday afternoon but it made sense to go Sunday; we might not be able to get back to Pingguo Sunday anyway. And it saved a night in a hotel in Zhuhai; we were only going to stay the first two nights at Momo's as his mum's brother and family were coming back Saturday.