Another lazy morning stopped when A Wu pinged me at 11.45am to ask if I wanted to to catch fish in a net, as opposed to "normal" fishing. As it was my last full day I thought "why not?" for the umpteenth time. So I managed to get up at midday and A Wu said he was on his way to pick me up but I said 5-10 minutes. As it was I thought it would be a sweaty affair so I just washed my face and told him I was ready. Then he said to take the dian dong che to his house as people were waiting for me there, and of course to hurry up! Ha, so one minute he's on his way then the next I'm to go to meet him...I almost don't think about it anymore. But the annoying thing was that someone was now in the bathroom where the sun cream was, meaning I couldn't take that and I didn't have a hat either. Damn, but there was no way I was going to get sunburnt the day before we were going back.
So I rode over to his house and as I parked up I heard a bloke call me from a shitty car. Oh, that's what we were supposed to be going in to catch fish. A Wu turned up and we bibbed at him and he looked bemused at the car so we drove up to him and he finally understood we'd be taking this tiny four seater so got in the back with me. We drove five minutes to south of the river and turned up at a dead end. After a few minutes it was clear we were in the wrong place so moved on another minute or so, till the road was so steep us three passengers had to get out to let the driver drive the car up. But we were nearly there and indeed after a bit of a downhill climb during which one bloke slipped and skidded down on his arse for a bit we found a small orange boat by the side of the river.
Whoops - wrong place
No way I was getting into that for two hours
The next half an hour was one of the blokes re-sorting out the large net, while the rest of us were able to drink some water and generally sweat. It was pretty much the hottest day here so far and A Wu then said we should have come in the morning. Well yes if you'd told me before 11.45am maybe we could have. I then told A Wu I would not be getting in the boat and he agreed that the sun was just too vicious. I knew I'd be fried to a crisp, and when finally the other three blokes moved off, using a stick as an oar, I knew I'd made the correct decision. After half an hour of them going to the other side of the river and starting to lay the nets I told A Wu I reckoned they'd be at least another two hours and he agreed. He was happily watching douyin so I said I'd go for a walk.
And indeed I walked into the hamlet past kids playing in the street and hunted the shadows as I felt myself burning within seconds of being in the sun. I made my way to the dual carriageway then moved back as felt I wanted something more cultural. So I found myself in what looked like a shop. A couple of old women who were making aeroplane headsets were looking at me rather intently, but I ignored them and shouted "laoban!" calling for the boss. But no-one was there, even though I could see a couple of Li Quan in the fridge calling to me. I asked at another house next door and they pointed to a house two doors down and I walked in to find another shop with an ancient pool table in the middle that would never see any more cue balls. But at least there was someone there. There was no fridge but a freezer and I asked the bloke if he had a cold beer. Indeed he did so for 5 kuai he dug inside the freezer and picked one out.
Oh it was heaven to have a cold, fizzy, non-sugary drink, and as it was well gone 2pm quite justifiable. He bade me sit by the pool table under the fan and as I opened the can three little girls and a boy came in. They were young enough not to be afraid and delighted in seeing this wai guo ren. So many comments about being tall, having blue eyes and fair hair I've heard before but this was literally the first time they'd seen a foreigner and I indulged them by making them speak a little English and shaking their hands. It was the closest I'd felt to being in Bangxu in 2003 since...well 2003.
Cute kids in the shop with Chairman Mao looking on in the background
The name of the commune I spent a couple of hours in
A Wu called to say he was also leaving that place, and somehow we met up just outside where I had had my beer, and we continued to walk for a few minutes until it was too hot even for him and we found refuge under the shade of some trees. Awl happened to call me and we spoke for a few minutes while avoiding getting burnt. But after 5 minutes we got cut off from Telegram as is often the case. So A Wu and I walked another 10 minutes or so before arriving at the place that is being built south of the bridge where I'd been to the other week to have you cha. By now it was really boiling so we found an estate agent's with a big model of all the houses that were being built, and it looked actually really nice, but at an appropriate price.
We got a didi che to his house where we spent a few minutes until his wife turned up and we went down for me to take my dian dong che and him to take this car. He called Tan to arrange to "sing song" later but I could hear her say she had a cold and a headache, so he called Boss Zhou and arranged to meet up later for a drink. Whatever, Tan had said the family would all be over so I had to go back there to eat. She said to come back by 4pm which I did but of course nothing was ready then. But it was a good chance to get the kids out for a last photoshoot (at least with Leilei) and we did eat at 5pm. Er Jie's husband was there and I genuinely didn't recognise him; he was pretty slim now, and is Qiqi's father so I'm sure I've eaten with him before. Eventually he suggested having a drink with the meal but we only had two Li Quan cans left. No problem that sorted us out till the end of the meal.
Lovely last family meal
Try as I might I'll probably never understand such conversations in Bangxuhua
Haiwei pinged me to go for a bite but I told him I was due to go with A Wu and he should contact him. But at gone 7pm I hadn't heard from A Wu so pinged Haiwei to ask where he was. Well he was just around the corner according to the weizhi, so I turned up at the place and showed the weizhi to an employee and she told me it was opposite, so I went opposite and the person there said it was opposite. So I went opposite again then thought to call Haiwei and indeed he was in the place opposite to where I was now and next door to the place that had just told me opposite. Every time I think I'm used to living here something happens to prove that wrong. But Haiwei came out to see me which was the only way I could be sure where to go, and indeed it was the same place I'd been to a couple of weeks ago to eat beef.
There were only four blokes there so not majorly exciting, but two of them also had Bangxu wives and one was the son of a Bangxu woman, which meant gan bei'ing before descending into cai ma, which I did rather well at. Then a bit later a bloke turned up that I recognised. He was the ex-pilot I'd met four years ago in Bangxu, and had clearly had a couple already. But he was in good spirits and shortly after challenged me to cai ma, which I won to his joking disgust. This followed for another hour before I made my excuses and said I needed to meet up with Xixi. As I was leaving the place I noted the various cow parts in the fridge and told the boss I was impressed that they didn't waste anything. He seemed grateful for my compliment and reached into another fridge to get a bottle of cold water to give to me. I knew better than to return it and gratefully accepted it and said I hoped I'd be back soon.
Beef meal with Haiwei and ex-pilot second from right
They really don't waste anything
Well Xixi had been out with Leilei buying presents but wanted a lesson on the dian dong che. So we took it to Pingguo International hotel carpark, and after a few nerves she mostly got the hang of it but would refuse to move when people were around, but it was a good start. We then had a nice ride around town for the second time this year, and stopped off at the ant tree for old time's sake. On the way back I stopped off at Boss Zhou's where A Wu had been apparently but was no longer. I stayed for 15 minutes that must have seemed longer for Xixi who was bored but in her phone, and I enjoyed the heated up duck and bamboo, before wishing him a heartfelt goodbye, and told him if I could I'd be back later in the month. Even Xixi for some reason said he was one of the people she liked.
Xixi's first time on the dian dong che
So we got back and that was pretty much that. No silly invitations to go out at gone midnight, no silly drinking till 3am. I did take a last walk at 1am just to drink in a last evening of Pingguo, and came back drenched due to the humidity after the rain we'd had all day, and realised that the clothes I'd put out to hang probably wouldn't be dry by the time we had to leave tomorrow. And finally I managed to get a hotel in Guangzhou not too far from the airport. They're all "airport hotels" but at 3.7km away this was one of the closest that would sleep three adults. Well there were two big beds and a sofa so I hope it will be ok. Chuan Chuan could probably have found something cheaper but I wanted to ensure we were not far away as needed to be at the airport for soon after 10am.
As I was doing my packing the boys said they were going for a last ride in town at 2.30am. My reaction would have been to say no, as would Tan's no doubt have been, but I've been in this situation before and clearly would have done the same, so I let them go. I allowed myself one last session on Mario Kart Wii, making sure I invited my other Wiis in England for a reason that will never really make sense, other than ticking off another box in my mind. Then I played a quick race online and managed to come 3rd out of 10 meaning +53 points and above 6000 points again! No-one other than me will ever appreciate that. With not a little sadness I packed up the Wii and hoped it wouldn't be so long before I'd fire it up again. And that was it. A little nightcap or two but sleep happened around 4am.
Quite a subdued day due to both the heat and then the rain that made going out not much of an option, so Tan ordered some crappy chicken burgers for the kids and I made do with a boiled egg and bag of la tiao again. I'd decided to make this a Last Supper evening so after a tiny 30 minutes of siesta following a few lunchtime beers I started pinging my xiong di men and one by one they got back to me to say they would make it, except for Ling Ming who was looking after his wife in hospital. Uncle Yellow said he'd try his best but family might get in the way and of course I said family first.
I went to pick up a couple of beers from the local shop and while there noticed the people I'd sat with three days ago were sitting drinking tea and I felt I'd better go and see them. They welcomed me and said they'd seen me walking past a few times and why hadn't I stopped in? I was honest and said I'd been invited to various places, but sat down to have some lovely tea for the next half an hour before I said I needed to go and anyway they were going out to eat.
Back home I had a quick beer until 8pm rolled around and Beihai Huang told me to start earlier and come round now, but I said I'd told all my mates we'd be there from 9pm. He wanted me earlier and as Mat had fallen asleep in the UK I turned up shortly after 8.30pm and sat with Huang and some other mates for a while. Strangely he was on apple juice with no alcohol, but still insisted on gan bei'ing me with beer. A Wu turned up early pretty much bang on 9pm on his dian dong che, and we sat at Huang's table eating his food for a bit.
Haiwei then turned up and sat with us for a while too. But when a couple more mates turned up we moved to our own table where I'd already ordered portions of prawns, snails, qing cai, razor fish, and my favourite octopus. Then Uncle Yellow turned up, telling me he'd already drunk a load...so much for being with family! I then called Jiefu and he answered and said he'd be around presently...cool, he's one of my favourite people but I never seem to get the chance to see him until the Last Supper. Zhang Hongping, Zhang Hua, Lu zong, Boss Zhou all turned up in the next half an hour and it turned into a really friendly evening out with a few people meeting other people for the first time. Li Kun and his wife turned up at 10.40 to complete the complement.
Clockwise from left - A Wu, Haiwei, Lu zong, Zhang Hua, Jiefu, Boss Zhou, Zhang Hongping
But I could feel my tummy playing up again and as I was 2 minutes away from home I borrowed A Wu's dian dong che and just made it in time and was back within the promised 15 minutes, but Haiwei had already left it seemed. Well he did seem well-oiled when he turned up in a didi che, as did Zhang Hongping, as did Boss Zhou. Do these people do nothing else than drink and eat of an evening? But all were in good spirits and I managed to order a pot of haixian zhou and another portion of octopus and nearly everything was gone by the time we decided to call it at night at 1am. And for a total of 1000 kuai for four hours with so many people I cannot complain!
Well, that meant going to A Wu's to finish of some beers with his wife, Teacher Lu, and a couple of other friends I didn't know (or remember). The conversation turned to business and they all thought I should really start an English school, despite the fact I'd said the Chinese government was cracking down on such things. No, apparently the rich parents still want their kids to learn English and go to foreign universities. But it was 1.30am, and as much as I like A Wu's wife she kept referring to me as Mis-si-ter Peng (i.e. 3 syllables for "mister") she kept saying how much money I'd make if I set foot on such a venture. I must admit I'm tempted, and would need someone like A Wu to be a middleman between me and the government but I didn't venture to ask the important questions like getting a work visa etc. as it didn't seem the time nor the place. But I would like to pick up this conversation in a completely sober environment.
A Wu gave me a lift home around 2am which he shouldn't have done, and for some reason I managed a chat with Mat and Awl shortly after, meaning I got to sleep and not long before 4am....
Oh nothing was planned so today could have been a chill-out session, and indeed it was until Tan said we were to meet her secondary school Teacher Ling this evening at 6pm. That was cool by me, I like the bloke and he definitely helps build my vocabulary.
Typically the boys got up late, but at least Leilei was out to Li Kun's music studio by 3pm and Nezha went out by himself to get some fodder. Tan had gone to A Xia's again so I just made sure Xixi was not hungry and my lunch comprised a boiled egg and a mini pack of la tiao. I then got a text to say we'd meet at the wine shop for tea at 6.30pm, which was fine by me so later we all left the house together at 6.35pm to be fashionably a little late.
Three of the 30-something young entrepreneurs from the previous meal were there drinking tea, and we immediately went upstairs to a sumptuous room to sit down and the lady of the shop laid the table with lots of meaty goods. I learnt that no Chinese meal was complete without chicken, duck, and fish. That's clearly not true so I asked if that was Guangxi culture. No! This was Chinese culture! I suppose it means a grand meal when you're inviting multiple people but whatever. Nezha was feeling sick as apparently the boys had been to some place where you cook your own chicken but his was probably underdone and was too chewy. Nevertheless he did manage to eat a reasonable amount.
As it was a "wine" shop (selling wine and spirits) I deigned to have some for about the first time this year. The lady poured about half a bottle into a small jug and it actually had measurements on it so I could see it was 400ml. Everyone was playing the game of not wanting to be the first person to eat, so as I was starving I sort of cheated by pouring a bowl of soup for Tan. That was a timely trigger as Teacher Ling then poured one for me, but wouldn't allow me to pour his, preferring to pour the wine shop boss's to his left. But by now people were tucking into the food so after a few minutes I took the initiative of offering a gan bei to the boss, but he said no! I should first gan bei Teacher Ling. But Teacher Ling said no! We should all gan bei together first, so that we did a couple of times before the personal gan bei'ing began.
I realised I'd been pouring too much red wine into my glass for each gan bei as after half an hour my jug was nearly empty but the boss's was only half so. I had planned just to have that much red wine before moving on to beer but I found my jug filled up by the woman again, and felt it would be rude to put it back in the bottle. So I drastically reduced the amount I was pouring into my glass and made sure I gan bei'd every non-family member in the room. At 7.15pm the boys were asking to go and I told them to stay till at least 7.30pm and to gan bei Teacher Ling and the boss at least once. They agreed and were good to their word, and Leilei stuck to the water though Nezha managed a small beer. Then Leilei asked to take the black dian dong che I'd driven here instead of the 3 minute walk to avoid sweat, and I said he could as long as they initiated a final group gan bei. So they both stood up and raised their glasses, and the rest of us did too, before saying thank you and "man man chi".
Another great meal with Teacher Ling
I managed to finish the second lot of wine (350 ml, so in total a whole bottle) by gan bei'ing each of the four young men, and then asked for two beer glasses as Teacher Ling also said he was moving to beer after baijiu. But unlike boss meals we didn't descend into cai ma, rather we were just talking about stuff as Teacher Ling likes to do and I was trying to hang on, using Tan to translate much more than I wanted to.
Zhang Hua had pinged me earlier in the day to meet up tonight at 8.01pm. Yes he specifically said one minute past eight, to celebrate the opening of a friend's shop. I'd IM'd back to say thanks but I'd be late due to a previous engagement. But the previous engagement was still going strong when I told Tan I'd take Xixi home as an excuse. But Tan wanted that excuse too, so they left together and I had to tell Zhang I'd be even longer than I expected. But we wound up before 10pm as we finished what beers were on the table and didn't open a new pack. They all seemed satisfied and we had the opportunity for a photo shoot downstairs, and Ling said they may use me to advertise their wares.
Looking interested at the baijiu they sell here but not yet advertising it
By this time A Wu had also pinged me to go for a beer but I was not going to miss Zhang so after saying my goodbyes asked him to send a weizhi. The red bike was its usual slovenly self but it got me there where I was met by one of his friends who is an art teacher. We got on the bike and drove around the corner to get off by some mates eating outside. But Zhang Hua wasn't one of them, and I just had to perform a perfunctory gan bei before being led around another corner and up some stairs to some outside place by some football and basketball courts that were in the process of being built.
Ah, then I saw about four or five tables set out with copious food and drinks, and Zhang Hua was at the head and I was to sit with him. I found out after a gan bei that it was his birthday and he'd not told me that! So another gan bei ensued, and another, and another, and it descended into an enjoyable evening I wouldn't be able to leave from until the cake turned up at midnight. One person I sat next to for a while turned out to be the doctor (or surgeon) who had stitched up my leg back in 2017, and I thought he may berate me for being out drinking but to be fair so was he.
When the cake arrived I did the usual putting my finger in the cream and spreading it on Zhang's face, though this time only about two of us did that and I wondered if it was not the done thing anymore. Still, I forced myself to eat a slice and it's about the only thing you can eat when you're full as it's sooo light. Finally at around 12.45 I was able to leave with copious hugs from Zhang as he walked me to the bike.
Happy Birthday Zhang Hua!
A Wu was still about and sent me a weizhi and 10 minutes later I was in some shop upstairs with a huge table with the remnants of a meal and only three other blokes. It was a total change of atmosphere and I wished I could be back with Zhang, so limited myself to a few games of cai ma before giving A Wu a lift back. Except the dian dong che was really suffering and stopped at the slightest incline, so A Wu got off and on to his mate's one which was in fine fettle. And that was it for another night in Pingguo, only two to go now. Leilei had sent a picture of the QR code he'd plugged the black dian dong che into so he must have really gone a great distance in order to have used up the charge so soon. So when I got back at 1.45 I set it on charge then home to get to sleep pre 3am just.
A lazy morning risked turning into a lazy afternoon so I went to the supermarket to top up on washing liquid, yoghurt, hair spray, and beer. I checked the red envelope I was given last night when I paid 200 kuai at the funeral and found it contained 30 kuai. I could have been logical about it and asked why not just pay 170 kuai and not bother with the change but I've been here long enough not to. So I used most of it to come back with four portions of jiaozi, which were eventually polished off by the kids as Tan said she didn't want any due to her mouth (well she did have two wisdom teeth removed). However she managed to share some of Xixi's portion so it can't have been that bad.
At about 3pm Nezha reminded me that I'd said I'd arranged going swimming today. Oh damn I'd totally forgotten about that, and couldn't really get out of it so I said I'd check it out. I called A Wu who told me the name of the place. I thought it was the reservoir but he said it was Luxian Hu and when I looked it up it pretty much was the same reservoir, and only a few minutes away by car. So I said I'd get some more stuff from the supermarket and we could have a bite to eat there as you do. But Tan was saying it was dangerous and we shouldn't swim there. Well I've been there a couple of times before and there are plenty of people swimming with suitable rings and life jackets, even if there is no guard.
So I went out to pick up more beer and various snacks from Guanmart, but not before I saw a lorry trundling past shooting out sprays of water into the air behind it. I've seen these before from a distance and always thought it was some sort of disgusting exhaust, but this year someone had explained that it was just to put more moisture in the atmosphere (apparently not for the trees but it can't harm them). So I followed it for a few seconds and indeed got a bit wet in its wake, and refreshed a little I continued to Guanmart to get the stuff.
Watering Pingguo
Back home we packed towels and a change of underwear and Tan scolded us again saying you weren't allowed to swim there and sent a message from a friend who's said it was dangerous and every year someone drowns there. We said we'd get life jackets but she still kept insisting we mustn't go in the water, and Leilei was getting really embarrassed in front of Nezha. I got a bit annoyed and said I'd been there before with A Wu and the kids, and that if she wouldn't order a didi che we'd just find one ourselves. This would be the only chance this holiday for going for a swim in the lake, so she reluctantly ordered one which turned up not a minute later.
10 minutes later we were there, but there were very few people swimming and nowhere to get a life jacket, so Leilei led us along a path for a couple of hundred metres until we happened upon a second car park with far more cars and people, and yes this was the place we'd been to before. We saw some people getting into a dinghy and I asked a shopkeeper if we could hire one but she answered in the negative. I asked why and she gave some answer I didn't really get, so asked how the other people were getting on the boat. Ah, apparently they'd brought their own one. So unfortunately we couldn't get a boat ride unlike 10 years ago with A Wu, but at least she sold life jackets for 25 kuai each which I thought was pretty cheap considering they could indeed save one. I got one each for the boys and they got changed and ventured down to the side of the lake, but try as he might, Leilei wasn't having any of it as he really unfortunately never mastered the art of swimming despite my best efforts taking them when younger. In fact he could swim a bit but stopped going and just lost confidence. He was really upset about it and I was too - it made me think of that Topsy and Tim book where Tim was too scared to go in the pool.
Ready but not really able yet
Not as busy as usual due to the weather apparently
But it just wasn't going to happen and he angrily snorted "I fucking hate swimming", which really meant "I can't stand the fact that I can't swim" even though he would have floated fine in the warm water. Nezha was pretty confident out in the lake so I had a beer and some cucumber crisps before he came back half an hour later. I sort of wanted to go, and in the end logicked myself into doing it as I knew I wouldn't regret it. Annoyingly my swimming shorts had lost any elasticity they may have had, so once in the water as soon as I started my front crawl they were half way down my bum. Whatever, what would anyone do if they saw? I swam to the middle easily as I wasn't slowed down by a life jacket, then thought sod it I'd go all the way to the other side. There I got chatting to a bloke and some kids for a bit which seemed to entertain them, then made my excuses and headed back, but I met Nezha halfway back and he said he wanted to go to the other side too and could I join him as he couldn't speak Chinese. Fair enough, it was a bit more exercise and it wasn't sunny so there was little chance of sunburn. We went, we didn't talk much, then we turned and headed the 200 metres or so back. I've hardly done any exercise at all in the last six weeks but it felt pretty easy and a couple of people commented on how well I could swim. I was one of the few who was not in a life jacket, or attached to some buoyancy aid of one type or another so I guess looked a bit more professional.
Use your imagination for a buoyancy aid
I noticed that actually there was a sign saying the lake was deep and swimming was not allowed, but in this case there were plenty of families with young kids all in the water. I mean with a buoyancy aid there's not much to worry about right? A father who was there with his kids asked Nezha if they could borrow the life jackets we bought, and I said of course they could. And then later as they were leaving they asked if they could keep them which I thought was a bit cheeky but we wouldn't need them again and I wasn't planning on taking them home.
A sign on the right saying swimming is forbidden and a shop in the background selling life jackets and inflatable rings
After getting changed I walked down to the shaded eating area to find five blokes eating and drinking. Of course they invited me over and I sat with them for a quick chat. I didn't want to drink the baijiu they were drinking so went and fetched four cans of beer and Nezha joined for a few minutes while we cai ma'd. They'd evidently been there most of the afternoon and were fairly well-oiled, so after a few photographs I left them to get on and called Tan to get us a didi che back, and after a couple of phone calls the driver managed to find us. 10.5 kuai for the whole journey was ridiculously cheap!
As we'd only really had a few snacks by the time we got back after 7pm, I was quite ok to receive an IM from A Wu telling me to come to the bosses office to drink beer. I said I'd grab a quick shower and be over soon, and got the usual "kuai yi dian" in response. Leilei decided to go to Li Kun's studio by himself and I had no problem with him being independent, but he'd taken the black dian dong che, leaving only the crappy big red one with knackered batteries. But it was better than walking and soon after 8pm I was there, but it was the house next door for some reason.
A Wu saw me through the half-opened door and pulled me in to great cheers. Apparently it was his boss Li Laoban's birthday, and I was made to sit next to him and before I knew it I was gan bei'ing left, right, and centre. I was even forced by A Wu to do a little speech. I had nothing planned so on the spot said Li Laoban didn't know me but was so welcoming to me that he must be a great boss to all of you (yes apparently he was the other bosses' boss too), and A Wu beamed a great smile to let me know I'd done well.
Li Laoban thrust a tiny glass of baijiu and begrudgingly I gan bei'd it with him as if to acknowledge his superiority over the others, but quickly followed up with a beer to attempt to remove the taste. He also told me to come back tomorrow to continue, but somehow I doubted he'd remember that. I had chicken breast thrust in my bowl and did my best to eat it before more stuff was put there. After half an hour or so I noticed Li Laoban was no longer there, but I'm learning this is pretty normal, he'd probably gone next door for a snooze. Then the fairly pretty lady who walked in the other day walked in again in her white dress looking relatively angelic. She proceeded to smile and sit down and eat a full meal without engaging in conversation. Maybe she was one of their wives? I sort of wanted to find out but I felt a rumbling down below that didn't feel at all good. I might have had the time to go home on the black dian dong che but the red one was far too slow so I realised I'd have to eject on a squatter again. In fact I realised even the black bike wouldn't have got me home in time...I wonder what it was...had I imbibed some water from the lake?
A few bosses left at table after Li Laoban when for a snooze
Advertising friend had texted me to ask what I was doing and I told her I was in a boss meal, and apparently she was too, and that we were to go a bar about an hour later. This worked for me and gave me an excuse to leave half an hour later, and go home to heat up the last leftover jiaozi for Xixi and chill for a bit before the next stint of the evening.
Luckily Leilei was back so I could take the black bike, and met Advertising friend and her mates in the open area of the "Club" I'd been to a couple of weeks earlier with bbq friend. Oh dear, it was Belgian beer, but whatever, I knew I wouldn't be under too much pressure here, and the food was a lot more edible than that at the bosses' place I'd just been to. It ended up being a cool evening and yeah a little cai ma of course. At around half past midnight I used the genuine excuse of getting some bbq sweetcorn for Xixi and Advertising friend sorted it out on Weixin including paying for it (only 10 kuai), and I was glad to see it was on the way back home just next to Huang's seafood place. So I had a happy daughter who devoured all 10 sticks of the stuff, then had a beer or two catching up with Mat and Awl before bed at 3am.
Happy sweetcorn lady
And shortly after Xixi asked me for the PureVPN password. Xixi? She already had it...ah it was for mama.... I had told Tan to download the client and set it up before going to China but she said she'd have no time to use it but suddenly after a few days she wanted to access YouTube...luckily my account allows for up to 10 devices concurrently.
Well I got up at 10.30am but needed a little more time as my tummy wasn't ready by 11.30 and of course that was fine. The boys had already gone to the cat cafe and five minutes after I got to the hotel foyer I saw them coming back with Chuan Chuan and Xiao He. Apparently they had paid to eat but the food hadn't turned up after 45 minutes so Chuan Chuan had ordered a refund...so I suppose they got the best of both worlds - playing with the cats and not paying anything. Which was good as Chuan Chuan announced that instead of eating at the white water place we would eat here as there wasn't food there, unlike what she'd planned yesterday. As much as I doubted this I didn't want to argue and we ended up having a lovely brunch at midday and of course we had to da bao a fair bit of it. Someone had mentioned their dian dong che batteries getting stolen and then it dawned on me why the bloke had to use an axle grinder to remove my old ones; they were there simply to keep them from being stolen and now I was able to worry about how easy they would be to steal now...oh well it's out of my hands.
Cute cat at the cat cafe
It got to 12.45pm so we found the car and left for the hour's journey to Dawanglin through the windy roads of northern Baise county, hardly noticing the mountains anymore. About 15 minutes from our destination Leilei announced that he really needed to go to the loo. In fact one minute earlier I had felt rumblings from my nether regions and feared I wouldn't be able to hold on either so his request saved my embarrassment of asking the same thing. They asked if he could hold on but he couldn't so Xiao He found a short driveway off the main road and we went to look for a suitable bush on the other side of the road but Chuan Chuan walked straight up to the first house where the front door was wide open of course and shouted for the houseowner who duly turned up, where she explained the need and of course there was no problem. In fact Nezha wanted to go too so while we waited for them we chatted to the grandparents, the mother, and the little girl on douyin on the sofa. They could have been long lost friends for all the smiles they showed, and seemed genuinely happy that we'd come to use their loo. I suppose seeing 2.5 foreigners turn up unannounced is not an everyday occurrence. For the eighth or so time this year I managed a squat and was happier to do it in such a residence than a public one. But you had to really lower your head to get to the toilet and the door was barely 5' high, I'm not sure if by design. We said our thank yous and goodbyes to more smiles after a very successful pitstop (or should it be piss-stop?), and indeed arrived 15 minutes later.
Poky little entrance to the loo
Some slightly surprised inhabitants of the place we stopped off at for the loo
Indeed I'd forgotten to bring a pair of shorts but no worries I could buy a pair there for 30 kuai, although when I went to pay the woman said 40 kuai for some reason but Chuan Chuan came over and refused to let me pay anything. I went into the small building by the shop and they pulled the shutters down allowing me to change. I naughtily whipped out the other small bottle of medicine alcohol and necked it during the three minutes I was changing as I knew from experience that this rafting can be scary, very scary. But in fact it should have been Leilei who was scared as he'd had literally the fright of his life almost 11 years ago and I thought he'd never get in a boat again. However, Nezha was really looking forward to doing this and Leilei showed no signs of wanting to go back at all. I wonder if it would have been the same had Nezha not been there.
By now it was gone 2pm and we were ready and being told to "kuai yi dian" so we left our effects with Xiao He who apparently didn't want to go but probably was kindly looking after our stuff instead to allow the four of us to take two boats. Chuan Chuan explained she had got tickets from the place I got my shorts, which wasn't technically part of the rafting place, so she got them for 100 kuai each instead of 150. A Similar thing happened 10 years ago in Dali where A Wu somehow got our tickets for cheaper for this reason. Again, I had my doubts but thought better than to enquire more lest it sound rude. We went to a shaded waiting area and indeed waited 10 minutes for a bus to arrive. It duly did but we weren't on the list of numbers they called out so had to wait a few more minutes for the next one. I started talking to the lady next to me and found out she was a local. I was interested in the transparent, waterproof phone holdall she had around her neck and asked how much it was - 20 kuai - at which Chuan Chuan interrupted to say she could have got it for 10 kuai at the place I got my shorts.
Eventually we got in the bus and took the shortish 10 minute journey to where we were to start. There were about 100 people milling about choosing 救生衣，船桨，头盔 (life jackets, paddles, helmets) so we did the same and after finding a quiet place to take a leak without everyone seeing me we went to find our boats. We started on a still pond with numerous boats ahead of us queueing to start the white water where there's a person-made boat-sized gap ensuring you can only go one at a time down a steep slope to start you off with a big adrenalin buzz. I wanted to be behind the boys but somehow Chuan Chuan and I got ahead of them. I made her sit facing the same way so we could see where we were going and when it was our time the bloke with a pole pulled us forward and for about five seconds it was like one of those log flumes and we nearly leapt into the air when we eventually landed at the pool at the bottom. Well I think I justified the quick nip I'd had 20 minutes previously and forgot about the boys for a bit but when I looked back they were there with big grins on their faces having survived the initial "fall".
The next couple of minutes would be the smoothest for the best part of the next hour. This one really was more aggressive than the Pingguo or Dali ones I'd done before. After a short while I realised all we had to do was sit face-to-face, put the paddles in the boat, and just grip the handles making sure nothing was protruding out of the boat. Blimey it really was white water almost all the three or so kilometres, constantly being buffeted rather viciously by the rocks and going at quite some speed at times. It was at least four times more bumpy than any bumper car, with the added dimensions of going up and down and being splashed to high heaven. Every 50 yards or so there was a sign saying "big fall" and I hoped Leilei was ok. Eventually I managed to see them, stupidly with paddles out as if they could control anything. You need to respect the water and I could easily see a rock smashing a paddle into a face so gestured at them to put them away and hold on. Obviously my gesturing had no effect (it's difficult to gesture that when you're trying to hold on for dear life) but I think they got the message soon after they'd experienced nearly capsizing again.
The boys having a whale of a time!
Chuan Chuan and me descending a person-made fall for the second time
Genuine smiles towards the end
2.2km to go, 2.1km to go, every 100 yards or so there were blokes dotted about so they must experience capsizing from time to time but I didn't witness any luckily. There was a sign saying if you capsize just abandon the boat and walk down the path created by the side of the river. Very different from 11 years ago where we were made to get straight back on the boat again. Finally we arrived after about 50 minutes of almost pure adrenalin, and the boys were stoked too. This is definitely something I'd like to do again, and I hope Tan takes Xixi here while they are about. Nezha said he really wanted to go swimming in a lake but it was clear there was no swimming allowed here, so I said I'd organise something for tomorrow in Pingguo as I'd been to a reservoir there a few times, and assumed it would still be there.
So we'd ticked off one of the very few boxes we'd created for ourselves and were very satisfied with it. We'd all forgotten to bring towels but luckily Chuan Chuan had three so the boys shared one and I took one for myself and we all changed in the same small shop building, before getting in the car back to Baise, where the boys promptly fell asleep. I would have liked to too but find this almost impossible in a Chinese car. Xiao He was a very safe driver in the posh Lexus, but it's about the other drivers and for some reason I feel the need to keep alert.
Sleeping after rafting
I noticed a message on Weixin - Uncle Yellow had IM'd me to say Boss Zhou's father had died recently, and that they were at the funeral and I was to come. I explained that I was in Baise and wouldn't be around till 9pm and would that be too late? No, they'd still be there apparently. This would be a first time for me, although Waipo's should have been had we been able to get back for it.
We arrived safely back at Baise around 4ish and had a slow walk through the shopping area before finding a nice looking restaurant in the inside area and were told we'd need to wait five minutes before we could enter, which was ample time for another quick wander. The place specialised in Guangxi delicacies and was one of the top two meals we had, with roast duck accompanied by tiny glasses of hawthorn juice to counter the oil of the duck apparently, mini pork ribs, omelette, beans, skewers of succulent port, and gorgeous octopus. This time there was nothing to da bao, and Nezha kept asking for more of the crisps which were meant to be just a snack before the meal and accompanied cold radish, so we had to keep eating the radish lest it be wasted. The four of them ordered huge plastic glasses of various mango-tea and other stuff to be delivered to the restaurant and I just kept to the supplied tea and tiny hawthorn glasses, making it one of the few evening meals I'd managed to avoid beer.
Another perfect Guangxi meal
I mentioned the funeral to Chuan Chuan and wanted to know as much information as possible in order to avoid offending anyone. She said I'd probably need 200 kuai, or up to 500 kuai if he is a good friend. I had no idea what type of friend I would be classed as - I mean I give him a hug when I see him, but generally see him a handful of times a year...oh well no doubt I'll find out somehow. I also said I would change out of my pink top and she said most definitely I would not wear colourful clothes - white or black would do. Yes, white is a colour associated with death here, so a bright white top would be fine, but I planned to play it safe with black. Also, I would need to find a white hong bao (a white red envelope?) to put the money in. I IM'd Tan to corroborate this and she said yes it would be 100-200 kuai but it didn't matter what colour I wore. I think I'll stick with Chuan Chuan on this one.
As we had time, we went for a walk after Chuan Chuan had paid another 300+ kuai, well the boys went off on their own and us three walked by the new stadium for a bit before realising it was far too hot to be doing so. But we did manage to have a decent conversation about Baise and the differences with Pingguo. Here, the football team is pretty weak and literally not in the same league as Pingguo. But I guess if someone with money decides it will happen then it will. The subject of the conversation wasn't so important, but it flowed nicely and that alone gave me a bit of a boost. I'm very slowly climbing the second wall of language acquisition despite having slipped a few times. I'll almost definitely never be bilingual but I can at least aim for it, and attain a higher degree of fluency than I'm currently capable of. It's really a question of vocabulary from a speaking and writing perspective now, and I'm realising that just socialising has some limitations. Even for Weixin I'm not translating messages most of the time now but if I were to pick up a newspaper I'd still be lost, knowing around a third of the characters. So it's going to have to be putting my head down now, and choosing more challenging topics for conversation than I'm likely to find at a boss meal.
It was gone 6.30pm so we headed back to the shopping centre to find that the boys had gone to an iced tea place and were just being served, so back to the car and we were at the station soon after 7pm, well in time for the train. But I found I still had a can of beer and I was worried that security wouldn't let it through, so what would any self-respecting Englishman do with a can of Guangxi room temperature Li Quan? It wasn't that refreshing but somehow I had the confidence to pick one from a fridge in the shop nearby and ask the woman if I could take it on the train with me. She had the honesty to say she didn't know (how could she not know?) and I so appreciated that that I paid the 6 kuai for it and put it in my bag determined to find out.
Ha, it went through security with no problems and when we sat down to wait I found the empty medicine alcohol bottle that also hadn't been found. Maybe the machines in Pingguo are more sensitive. I considered going back out and getting another can but I wasn't that desperate. We were in the same carriage but different rows so I didn't feel guilty cracking it open once on our way and made it last nearly all the 45 minutes or so to Pingguo, hiding it under my tray when security walked past just in case. I decided to double check with Tan about the colour of clothes to wear, and after having said it didn't matter she changed it to "wear a black top" - ha. Back at Pingguo we decided to take a san lun che again for what may be the last time in a long time, or ever if they end up being killed by didi ches.
After a quick shower at home I IM'd Uncle Yellow to check they were still there and indeed they were and he sent me a weizhi for where to go, plus he told me to bring 200 kuai - phew I found out last minute. I picked up my bank card and hopped on the appropriately coloured black dian dong che to find a bank. Memory didn't serve me very well but I eventually happened upon one as Uncle Yellow was calling to ask where I was - I told him exactly what I was doing and should be 5 minutes but of course the bank didn't accept my card. Unfortunately, looking for another bank, I came across a police road block where they were only allowing one vehicle at a time, and stopping many cars. Of course I'd forgotten to put on my helmet and feared I'd be stopped, as I saw other dian dong ches stopping before the road block presumably for fear of something similar. But I'd also seen police further back on the road and guessed they would be catching those people who had stopped as it would be easy pickings for whatever they were guilty of. So instead of stopping I just drove through and if I got a fine then fine. But it was fine and no-one stopped me so I gratefully moved on. The next bank's ATMs were out of order so I searched for the nearest other bank and went out of my way to find one that normally is ok, but this time remembering to put on the helmet.
At the third bank there was a bloke already in there and seemingly not finished after his first withdrawal. This is not that unusual as there are limits on how much you can take out and if you need more than that you simply start the progress again like it would be back home I suppose. But unlike back home I was dripping with sweat, partly worried about being so late to the funeral and partly just annoyed about this bloke taking so long. I asked how much longer and of course he said "zhun bei" which could mean anything, but meant one minute and after another call from Uncle Yellow was finally able to withdraw some cash.
At least Uncle Yellow had told me they had white red envelopes there so that was one less thing to slow me down and I eventually got there around half past nine. Wow, there were probably well over 100 people there on various tables strewn about the street, which had been probably blocked off all day for the festivities. Tan's loud classmate shrieked when she saw me and bade me to sit down but I said I'd first have a gan bei with Uncle Yellow as he was the one who invited me here and was my actual friend, so we did, and then he said I should sit down with A Qiu (I'd totally forgotten her name) which I was not exactly in the mood for as she can drink most men under the table. But it was fine as I hadn't been drinking all day unlike everyone else. For a funeral most people were in fine spirits although the pissed gentleman to my right kept leaning on me and spouting random crap most of which I couldn't understand and what I did understand I didn't care about. So I nodded and gan bei'd him once, after which A Qiu told him to shut up and stop leaning on me, and I think he got the message for 5 minutes at least.
After a few more gan bei's Uncle Yellow lead me to the stripey tent that had been erected outside presumably Boss Zhou's dad's house. But first I went to pay my dues and indeed we put the 200 kuai into a white envelope, and he made me write 彭多明 in my best handwriting on it, so it would be registered. With whom, I had no idea, but it was fine, I was officially in attendance, and received a small red envelope in return. I was then led into the house where there was a table with a dead, boiled chicken and duck, and half a lamb's head. There was incense burning and five small glasses. Then I saw Boss Zhou wearing a white robe with a sort of pointed top that had a slight KKK look about it but I knew it was properly holy. He gave me a big smile and said "sup see lo!" as if we'd just met in a bar, but I didn't have the heart to reply "ham sup lo!" as it just didn't feel like the right place or time, not to mention there were a few rows of similarly clad people sitting in rows at the rear of the room, who I guessed were family. I nearly had the instinct to take some photos but again this wasn't the time or place, or at least I wasn't going to take the risk.
Uncle Yellow lit a few incense sticks and gave one to me and a couple of other blokes. Someone put a bright green towelette on each of our right shoulders, then we all bowed towards the table three times together, before sticking the incense sticks in the pots. Next I had to use a spoon to take some white alcohol from a pot and pour a little into each of the five glasses. I had to do this three times according to tradition, before we stepped back again and gave three more bows to the alter. The whole experience was over in a few minutes but was quite emotional too. I'd actually participated in something that was almost in no way related to my ethnicity or Tan's family, just the funeral of one of my oldest and best friends here. Would I have met him had I not been a foreigner? I can't say for certain but I knew him through Uncle Yellow about 15 or so years ago, and I knew Uncle Yellow through Tan from around 19 years ago if that means anything.
The tent with the magic men outside the house that had the alter where we bowed
Haiwei had also called me to go for a drink but I explained the funeral came first, which he sort of accepted, but said I just needed to go and give the white envelope then leave. But there was no way I was doing that with all these people here, especially two of my best friends, so when he called to ask where I was I said I'd be here for a short while. Uncle Yellow had evidently been there all day and came round to my table to apologise that he was going as he was so tired, and I told him I totally understood and had been in that situation multiple times before. The meal went on but I could barely eat anything, still stuffed from Baise but did a few gan beis here and there. I managed another 45 minutes or so chatting with various ex-colleagues of Tan's and other people who said they knew her. I guess she should really have come too, but was as usual at A Hua's place with the ladies chatting.
A Qiu front left with some ex-colleagues
Finally I made what I thought would be my final gan bei to the table to take my leave, but as soon as I made my first steps towards the dian dong che the next table ordered me to sit down and have a drink. I told them I needed to go so compromised by standing up and doing a gan bei with them, before moving on to the sounds of them telling me to take another. The same fate befell me at the next table too but this time the two blokes almost physically pulled me onto the stool where I managed two more gan beis before apologising and saying I needed to leave at 10.30.
I checked that Haiwei was still about and indeed he was, and sent a weizhi that was exactly the same place as A Wu's office. Hmmm...then his elder son sent the same weizhi and told me to call him when I arrived, and indeed when I did it was the same building. And we took the lift to the 4th floor where indeed A Wu was there in a not too sober state, as was his wife, while his kids were playing on their phones in the other room. There had evidently been a meal and I realised it was for A Wu's wife's father, with whom I had to gan bei twice. And then again with the few blokes who were left from the meal. I was slightly confused as it was Haiwei who had invited me but he was nowhere to be seen, but the mystery was solved a minute later when A Wu told me to take the lift one floor down to the third, where I found Haiwei, a couple of other blokes, and four ladies around a table with the remnants of a meal there.
It didn't take long to be stuck in cai ma and the young lady to my right absolutely smashed me something like 10-1. We continued like this for a while and I managed a morsel to eat, but the bosses were drunk and teetering on the lecherous, which the ladies and I were aware of so unfortunately they left soon after, leaving the blokes to cai ma till I said I was just too tired, which was semi-true. So soon after midnight I was taking Haiwei very slowly on the dian dong che back to wherever it was he was sleeping, and slowly continued home from there for a relatively early night.
I nearly got up when I woke up at 7am but thought better of it and dozed till 9am when I realised it would be a good idea to get up if we were going to Baise soon. Tan pinged me to say Chuan Chuan couldn't get tickets for us due to ID issues again. I really don't understand the issue and neither do they if they are honest. But Tan did show me a picture of Leilei's passport showing that he was born in 2004! What? He's had the passport for like three years and it's never been an issue? Well I suppose he's not been to China since he's had this passport, or even abroad at all I think. But still, the Chinese visa place surely would have caught this. And could this have implications for going back? Apparently Tan had sent that picture to Chuan Chuan which may explain the ID problems for booking the ticket....
As silly as it is fake
So I looked at booking tickets myself as I'd done for us getting here from Guangzhou. I double-checked Leilei's passport and to my relief it did say 2005 as the year of birth. I checked with Tan and found out he'd been showing off that he could alter the picture of his passport to make him look older. Stupider more like as he could have caused us not to be able to go, not to mention doing something like that is probably illegal. Having thought that would I definitely not have done something similar had I had the tools at that age?
Tan told me not to book too early as it would be too hot. As Nezha was up I asked what time he'd like to go and he said someone was picking them up at 11am. What? I knocked on Leilei's door and he said something to the affinitive even though 11am was only 45 minutes away and he was still in bed unpacked. Tan knew nothing about this and neither did Chuan Chuan so I said I'd book a train for around 5ish if I could. Then Tan asked why I was so preoccupied with the time. I said I didn't really care what time but you told me to book for the evening as it would be too hot before, and anyway I had to choose a time before I could book and find out if it would work anyway. I mean how could Chuan Chuan say there was a problem with the booking if she hadn't chosen a time. I might be wrong but what else was I supposed to do? So we finally settled on 3.13pm as it would give us time to eat, and I was still accused of being anal about the time...sometimes I have to bite my lip so hard it really hurts.
Five minutes later I had safely booked the tickets with no issue at all except I had to pay a £6 booking fee on trip.com but at least it was done. It was getting on for midday so I thought I'd pick up some jiaozi for the kids and some toilet bleach Tan had been asking me to get for days now (er I'm not the only one with legs here...). Then I thought I may get an hour's shuteye before we left. I came back with the requisite toilet bleach (洁厕灵 - another word that will no doubt be very useful in the future) and the jiaozi, and a six pack of 3.3% beers for 9.90 kuai - bargain! I had a couple of the beers with some baozi as they only had two portions of jiaozi, then waited in vain for sleep to come. So much for that idea. Tan had a dentist's appointment at 3pm so said she could order us a didi che before hers, and indeed it was ready one minute after it was ordered. Chuan Chuan had told us to bring a change of clothes for after the rafting which meant we each needed two changes for the overnight stay, and I just managed to get my stuff (including my laptop) into my laptop bag. I should be good at travelling light by now but when it's going to be 36 degrees you can never really have enough tops.
Blimey it was only 6 kuai to take the didi che all the way to the station. No wonder san lun ches are becoming extinct. We were there half an hour early which was about right as my luggage got stopped as I had a glass bottle in it plus a battery pack, as did the boys'. I can hardly describe the journey through the lush countryside as nondescript but for everyone else it was. Living within mountains here is a bit like living in London with all the aeroplanes - you just get used to them and they're nothing special. Anyway Chuan Chuan called us to tell us to wait outside the station for one minute as she and her boyfriend Xiao He were just a minute away. Indeed she just needed to tell us the colour of the car and part of the numberplate and a couple of minutes later we were in. She said we were going to "play", which can mean anything, so I asked where and she said "some place". So I expected a 5-10 minute ride but 20 minutes later I noticed we were outside of Baise heading north. In fact it transpired we were to drive for an hour to some scenic place where we could take a boat on the lake.
Well the lake was there ok, and it started really lashing it down by the time we got there. We went for a walk and found some shelter and Nezha said he wanted to swim, but apparently that was not allowed, so we said we could take the boats out but then he said he was starving and needed to eat first. We thought we could just get him a snack but he really wanted a hot meal so we found a place that served egg fried rice and that did the trick as we ate some watermelon they gave us and drank the complimentary tea. The boss asked if she could take a few photos with us and some kids and of course we complied, and I guess justified the watermelon. Then as we left Chuan Chuan announce in a matter-of-fact way that the boating place had closed at 4.30pm, an hour or so before we'd even arrived, so that was out of the question.
Leilei and Nezha with a moody backdrop after the rain
One of the very few western style public toilets I'll see here
So after walking about for a bit now that the rain had subsided, we were to drive back to Baise to eat a proper meal. At least Xiao He is a pretty safe driver as I had no Dutch courage for such a drive, and we arrived safely before 8pm before going to our hotel to check in. I didn't quite understand what the problem was but apparently there was one which meant that our rooms got upgraded. The boys had a huge room with a pull-out second bed, and I had a more than substantial one that I would never have chosen myself as we'd only be using it for sleeping. I don't really get why people choose such posh rooms if they're only going to be used for sleeping and washing. If you're with a lover sure, get something special for a special night, but as with travelling for work all I require is something comfortable, safe, and quiet (and with wifi).
Chuan Chuan and Xiao He went back to their place and we said we'd meet in 20 minutes downstairs. So I had a sneaky medicine alcohol while I waited for her message and it was a good half an hour later, during which time the boys had gone out and found a cat cafe as you do. Oh I do miss Ami, especially since Anzhe sent a short video of her yesterday. Apparently the place Chuan Chuan had ordered from was already running out of food as it was getting on for 9pm, so we went to another "bbq" place instead, which ended up being fantastic. We had a hotplate in the middle of the table, and used tongs to place various slices of meat and vegetables on and wait for it to cook before either eating it just like that or putting it, plus some other stuff, into a lettuce leaf and stuffing it in our mouths. It was another fantastic meal and Nezha asked for two extra portions of beef and nothing was wasted. I also ordered a couple of cans of beer but Xiao He wouldn't join me as he needed to move the car a bit later - very sensible. Unfortunately the beer wasn't cold so they remedied this by adding a load of ice cubes to the large glass. Very Chinese and very practical actually.
Then we were to move on to bar Swag 2.0, so Xiao He took the car back and a few minutes later we actually walked the whole 15 minutes to the bar. It was pretty small, and being a Saturday night pretty busy with youths, but we had a table booked and pretty soon it would be full of "Budweiser". I didn't massively want the boys to get pissed so Chuan Chuan booked a 3 litre keg-like thing of fairly sweet orange-flavoured drink that I was told was 2% alcohol and could believe it. Luckily, Leilei preferred that to the beer and Nezha mixed them.
We're too cool for Swag 2.0
Xiao He came out of his shell a bit after a few beers and then I decided I wanted to play the dice game. So we started a game and I learnt a new variant which meant the one was a wildcard and really changed the tactics. I also learnt if you had four of the same that counted as five, and five of the same counted as seven. I guess it was a regional variant, but we had some pretty fun games, including having 10 threes due to having lots of ones. But even the boys got a bit bored soon after midnight and went for a walk, so we finished the last four beers and made our way back soon after.
It was a refreshing walk and the boys had made their way back to the hotel so we parted at 1amish and agreed to meet up at 11.30am tomorrow. I nearly got to the hotel but decided to go for a quick walk and ended up finding only one place open that sold me a couple of beers and medicine alcohol just in case I'd need it tomorrow. But I ended up drinking three beers in the hotel while chatting to western friends. I also managed to book three tickets for the last train to Pingguo tomorrow at 7.42pm.
Up at a reasonable 10am considering it was nearly 4am by the time I got to sleep. But it didn't take long before it turned to 12.30pm as I'd put on another documentary about space and it spaced me out. Before I could think about grabbing a little more shuteye I suddenly remembered that I'd agreed to meet Ma Laoban for lunch, so splashed a little water on my face and had a quick brush before driving over to his new office just before 1pm. I thought I got to the wrong place as all I saw was a load of photocopying machines, but I asked for Ma Laoban and the bloke pointed me in the direction of an office, and sure enough there he was sitting behind his desk with a load a tea figurines in front of him.
He greeted me like a long lost friend, and indeed we've known each other for 17 years or so, and I've been sort of lost to China for nearly four years, so it was a well reciprocated hug. We sat down to chat and drink tea and just catch up in general, and I gave him his tiny present of three tins of tea I won at our street party for the coronation. Some bloke came in for a bit, then another, and they drank tea and watched douyin on their phones. Then Ma Laoban chastised me for getting there so late as it was gone lunchtime and we'd go for an evening meal instead. Ok that was fine by me, so he offered me a bar of beef jerky which actually hit the spot, together with some nuts that looked to me like Macademia nuts but I couldn't find the translation for that. He just called them "jian guo" which didn't help as it literally means "nut".
Meeting up with Ma Laoban after four years
After an hour or so I reasoned that we had plenty of time and said I'd go home to grab a shower. Of course he said I didn't need to but I said I did, and when I got on the bike he rushed out with a big red box of tea as a present plus a pack of sachets of local honey from a friend who works at such a factory. Apparently this would be good to ease Leilei's cough.
It ended up being well over an hour as I ended up having a chat with Awl and maybe a can of something cold, but I got back before 4pm to find one of the blokes still there douyinning as you do, and we picked up the conversation from there, before his wife came along with their two sons, the younger of whom I'd not seen before as he'd just been born the last time I met Ma Laoban. Both the parents complained about the two kids constantly arguing and all I could say is that it's very normal. I suppose it's a relatively new generation of parents with more than one child now and many have not had to put up with that before. Well the older one was screaming about something that was the younger's fault and just wouldn't stop until he seemed physically unable to scream any more, and I wasn't really able to intervene and discharge the situation.
The bloke with the phone then decided to get up and lie down on the couch as you do, and Ma Laoban called a restaurant to order tonight's food, then some mates to make sure there would be company. I decided I had to know what the nuts were, and that just "nuts" wouldn't do, so specifically told Ma Laoban I needed to know, so he said they were from "Xiaweiyi" which meant little to me, but after a bit of help writing it out in Chinese I found out it meant Hawaii. So doing a quick search for "Hawaii nuts" the first result was indeed MacadAmia nuts and not MacadEmia as I'd looked for before. Oh well I was armed with a little more knowledge, but also knew it was unlikely to come in useful in the future.
5.30pm eventually rolled around and I said I'd follow Ma Laoban on the bike but he said I'd be drinking beer so it was best to leave the bike at home. I couldn't argue with that so he followed me back to Yu Jing Hua Ting where I dumped it and got in his 4x4 to go to a place I hadn't been before near the new hotel, where of course we had a private room waiting for us. Being the inviters we were the first of course and it wasn't until 6pm that the others had all turned up. First were two rather red-faced plump blokes who looked like they'd been drinking all afternoon and were in good spirits. Then Huang Laoban turned up, who I hadn't seen for years and had meant to. He was in good spirits too and sat next to me. Then a bloke I'm sure I've met before turned up with his 18 year-old son who was nearly as skinny as Leilei (I'd asked the kids to come but no answer), then Ma Laoban's wife and other kid turned up so there was a full complement of 10 people just fitting round the table. Interestingly the two large blokes weren't drinking so moved down to let the dad sit next to Huang Laoban, who set about pouring three glasses of beer before we even started eating.
Ma had specifically said we were to eat yu sheng (raw fish) but a whole load of other stuff was already on the table, most of which I really like especially the deep fried pork ribs. I'd only had some beef jerky and MacadAmia nuts all day but still wasn't able to gorge myself on the fantastic food. But I did make space for the raw fish even though Ma had done a typically Chinese thing and dumped a duck leg in my bowl even though I said I preferred the breast. Ma's wife tried to teach me some local terms for food, and said she'd make me some "em go" which is a bit like a flat zongzi and due to start in August.
Ma Laoban's wife, me, elder son, Ma Laoban, younger son
Huang Laoban, friend, friend's son, me, Ma Laoban
All in all it was another cracking meal, culminating in cai ma at Ma's request even though he doesn't drink. Fine...Huang Laoban was up for it and beat me badly for the first few minutes to Ma's delight. And I realised in some way I was providing entertainment and therefore paying for my meal in a real way, though I'd like to think that with Ma Laoban it was more down to genuine friendship.
I do sometimes think my meals, and indeed other times here in Guangxi, are sort of walled gardens. A meal will have great food, great company, A/C, gan beis, and cai ma. But that is pretty much it. I wonder if it is a self-enforced walled garden due to my lack of Chinese, or lack of various local languages, and doubtless it is to some extent. Ok sometimes we might play mo pai or dice but in a way the only things that change are the company and the conversation. And that fact that it still feels a bit foreign is why I still like it so much. What would happen if I actually did live here for a year or two? Would I get bored? There's only so much cai ma you can play, but I get it that it's the conversation that counts. In a pub in the UK it's not like we do anything other than drink beer and talk...with the occasional pub quiz. So maybe I'm looking into things too much again. But it is an incentive to improve my Chinese in various ways even if Tan doesn't think I should be learning the local language.
Towards the end of the meal A Wu rang for me to go and drink with some bosses which would be less cultural than the meal I just had but told him I'd be around in half an hour after Ma Laoban dropped me off, which he did 15 minutes later. So as there was no-one in the house I went over to the place near A Wu's house and indeed there were about six blokes in various states of inebriatedness, all at least twice as much as me as I'd been fairly sensible after losing cai ma to Huang Laoban and got my own back on him later. A Wu poured me a glass of beer from a 1 litre can of what definitely wasn't Chinese 2.8% beer. He pointed to some Chinese and even I knew from experience that 比利时 meant Belgium. I suppose I should be grateful that it was only 4.8% and not 8.4%, as I still had to gan bei the first glass.
Most of the bosses were drinking baijiu of course and I was invited (forced) to play cai ma. Well I enforced a rule that losing with this beer was 1/3 of the glass and not 1/2, which they just about accepted. Then, as is almost expected, a rather attractive woman dressed in an immaculate white dress walked in and sat down and started eating. It was in complete contrast to all the bosses with sweat-stained clothes and rolled up teeshirts revealing...well I just know I'll never be Chinese enough to do that, and hopefully won't have a belly capable of keeping such a teeshirt from falling down. The bloke to my right was pretty pissed and said years ago he could speak English but now it had all gone. Except it hadn't really and he insisted in spurting out whatever random words came into his head. Then he pointed at the woman who was sitting to my left and said out loud that she had big, beautiful balls. I gathered he was referring to her breasts and told him in no uncertain terms he was not to say such things, but he just laughed and repeated himself. I have no idea if the woman understood what he was saying but the fact he was pointing as well meant she probably did. Sadly, I guess she's used to it and who knows maybe puts up with it for free food and drink?
Soon after 10pm A Wu said we'd go to "sing song", for which I was quite grateful and half an hour later indeed we left the bosses' place with the woman and the pissed bloke. I followed the woman on the dian dong che and instead of going to the closest one as we normally do, we went to the one by the side of the guangchang. A Wu called to complain that I hadn't picked him up but when I left the bosses I saw him going to a dian dong che too so assumed he had his own. Well he turned up on foot which at least was a little bit of exercise for him as he's put on weight since I last saw him.
The KTV was almost worse than the bosses' place we'd just been to. A sausagefest of drunks and no amount of gan bei'ing the "Budweiser" would bring me anywhere close to their level, not that I wanted that at all. I kept it fairly short and polite and didn't sing anything, preferring to come home by midnight where I had a brief chat with Mat and Andge and Awl where they were in my back garden in London. It was 1am and I told myself I should go out for a walk and maybe get invited for a bite to eat, but Tan had told me that I was to take the boys to Baise tomorrow to see Chuan Chuan and go rafting the next day, so I took the sensible option of getting a relatively early night.
Up early but had a morning siesta again after I had a missed call from an unrecognised number. Well I tried to answer but there was no sound on the other end then they just hung up. I realised later it could have been the police registering place telling me Xixi's deng ji biao was ready so I tried to call back but it was the same...no sound then hang up. Then I noticed a new friend request in Weixin that had been there since 9am and I'd missed. No sooner had I accepted the request when I got a message saying indeed the deng ji biao was ready, so I thanked her and said I'd be there at 5pm.
A slightly scary sight if not expecting, but far from the KKK this is simply a way to keep the sun off one's skin (I hope)
Then Tan sent me a message (in Chinese for a change) to say we were going to eat at A Hua's again. That was great, but a friend had pinged me to invite them for a bite to eat this evening as well. Ok I've managed that before, I said 6.30pm would be better than 6pm and realised I didn't have much time now to sort stuff. So I grabbed a shower and got to the police place shortly after 5pm where indeed Xixi's passport and register form were waiting for me. When I got back Tan and the kids were waiting for a didi che to take them to A Hua's and I said I'd meet them later. Indeed I even found time for a quick cold Li Quan and a chat with Awl before leaving for A Hua's at 6pm. And I'm glad I didn't leave earlier as I found the kids all sitting on the sofa bored, but two minutes later it was time to eat. I made sure I stuck to the sweetcorn and other cai, and only had a few slices of the lovely crispy pork, before making my excuses and telling the truth that I'd been invited (well I was the inviter) to another meal. Of course no offence was taken and I wasn't even the first to leave.
Another delightful meal at A Hua's I wasn't able to enjoy too much but at least the kids did
So it was a case of popping home then I should have walked the 50 yards or so to the beef restaurant but I didn't want to turn up sweaty, so took the dian dong che for 30 seconds. The meal consisted of a large frying pan-like thing in the middle of the table (in a private room of course) with a load of raw meat from various parts of the cow. Then you just turn on the heat and a few minutes later it's cooked. But it was a little spicy for the friend's daughter so we ordered a non-spicy dish and a huge one turned up shortly after. I said I thought they'd screwed up the order, and indeed after we'd already made a start on it someone came and swapped it for a smaller dish. We had homemade berry alcohol at first which was a little sweet for my liking, then plum alcohol which was quite a bit nicer. During the meal Ma Laoban got in contact again to ask whether I'd like to meet him for lunch or dinner tomorrow so I said the former would work and he sent me a weizhi so I'd know where to go. Wow, something planned more than 12 hours in advance.
I was glad that nothing to eat was wasted, but then we (they) decided to go to south of the river to follow up with something called you cha which is basically like soup but with lots of bits you can put in like nuts. I wasn't at all hungry and could barely have the soup without other bits in it but the others somehow managed to finish it over the 2.5 hours or so, and I gathered it was to sober you up as there was not a drop of alcohol and I certainly didn't complain.
Finally they've developed south of the bridge and it looks very tasteful...will have to come back
Back home I wasn't that tired so tried to watch the next Black Mirror episode but despite the British VPN this time it wasn't available so I ended up watching a sci-fi film that I got bored with before the end and it will join an ever-growing list of films that I'll never see the end of.
