Last lounge...

Well I was well annoyed that according to Amex and Priority Pass, all the lounges in Beijing were closed at 10pm. We did immigration with relatively no problems and found ourselves in the right area at not too long after midnight with nowhere to wait. But I did a little recce and found a lounge, but they didn't accept Amex, but pointed me to another one. I followed their instructions (in Chinese) and found it but it was bloody closed as expected. I was out of hope but walked around and happened upon another lounge, and with no expectations I asked if they accepted Priority Pass. "对", she said, and with that I found the kids and nearly dragged them upstairs. I asked them what time they closed and they said 3 or 3.30am. 

Last lounge

To be fair the kids weren't that excited. But I was, and went to the bar and asked the lady for a G&T, and she said it was "self-service". I appreciated that but didn't want to speak English so was happy that she spoke to me in Mandarin after that. I hope she was ok with that, though understand if she would have preferred to speak English. But it was my last couple of hours here.

Jeez, it was 47% gin and after two months of mostly 2.5% beer it took its toll, and I was more pissed than I'd been for years. I didn't want to go for the flight so early but the kids suggested I should and we got on last for not the first time. Sorry kids. For a 10.5 hour flight I woke up with 2h48 to go so that's a bonus.

And that was it. We landed safely after a bit of turbulence that by now when tired I don't care about. I'm no longer sad to be back. It's more like waking up from a good dream, or going to sleep. Gosh I will miss it like anything and will try to find excuses to get back. But now my priorities are getting Leilei to uni and Xixi to 6th form. They are so independent now...I wonder if I'll get the chance to be independent in China again. I really hope so.

Last day in Pingguo yet again, but great to meet up and eat with Ma Laoban

I'd bumped into Ma Laoban yesterday, who'd told me to ping him tomorrow (today) at 9am to meet up. I'd bargained with him to make it 11am as I knew 9am would be optimistic. Nevertheless I was up soon after 10am, and as almost everything was packed I pinged Ma Laoban to let him know I was about. He told me he was at his new office and sent a dingwei but it was literally miles away (about three), but the dian dong che was full so I had no worries about not making it.

It seemed to be a new place north of the city where there were a couple of outdoor swimming pools, but I wasn't sure so I pinged him and yep indeed he emerged from a building and we went in and drank tea for the next 45 minutes. Then he said we'd have lunch in half an hour and he'd send a ding wei. Fair enough. So I went home and remembered to get my cleaned Converse from the local place. Not only were they nearly as clean as new, but the owner also noticed the rubber on the sides had started splitting away from the material of the shoe, so fixed them with glue. Now they really were nearly as good as new. All that for 10 kuai. Damn, so many things I'll miss about being here. Not long after I received Ma Laoban's dingwei to eat near A Wu's office from last year. For once it was a relatively simple affair; just him and a woman with her kid and some other bloke (her husband I think).

Fixing a clean shoe

The main course was fish, which I was a bit concerned about knowing that I was due to fly in seven hours, but there was some lovely deep fried pork and nice soup, and I even had some rice this time. But the company was the most important...we ate and chatted till 1.30pm when I said I'd better leave as Tan had already ordered a cab for 3pm and I still had last-minute stuff to do.

Finally a meal with one of my best mates Ma Laoban (right)

We go back 18 years...

So I drove to Li Kun's as you do, as I said I'd leave my dian dong che with him. I hope he or his family can use it, rather than the 80% of its life it's spent doing nothing while we were away. I entered his studio and he invited me for tea. I probably shouldn't, but I did, and I grabbed the guitar for some reason and started playing 有没有人告诉你？ and we both broke out into song for a couple of minutes. Actually it was quite moving...I'm so going to miss this place. Damn, I should have played it at Xiao Bai de Tian but never really mastered it. An excuse to go back if ever there was one. But this lovely moment could only last a moment or two, and Li Kun said he'd take me back. He did and I hoped he'd make use of the dian dong che. Of course I got a call 5 minutes after he'd dropped me off to say I'd left my Converse in the back that I'd just had cleaned and repaired for 10 kuai. I laughed a belly-laugh as you do and a couple of minutes later picked them up and said my final goodbye to Li Kun.

So back home I had half an hour to do any last-minute stuff, and indeed Tan foisted upon me two large boxes of tea to take back. Thankfully my luggage had come to 21.5kg so they just about fitted, but bloody hell dear, couldn't you have asked me a day or so ago? Then she reminded me that the house may be up for sale soon so I put all my clothes and shoes that I couldn't bring back into a black bag, and sent a pic to Li Kun to ask if he wouldn't mind looking after them for a while. How long a while may be I have no idea...it could be weeks, months, years, or never.... But it's important as it will really affect how much stuff I have to bring back next time if there is a next time. Anyway, Li Kun said he'd be able to store it...and more importantly my guitar I'd bought 6 years ago.

And that was it. 3pm came around as did the cab driver, and the three of us got in after managing to get most of the suitcases into the boot, and the rest in the middle of the back seats. I may have had a wee drink on the way to Nanning airport as it was two hours away. But, as with most of the last years it wasn't without a bit of fuss. Both my and Leilei's check-in luggage were stopped, but they found nothing untoward, and let us through after we'd opened them up. It almost seems like a power trip with the security people these days but we don't get angry in any way.

I'd told the kids that one of them wouldn't do the lounge as it would be £20 for an hour or so of wasabi peas and crappy sugary drinks, but when we got there I wasn't that tight and let them both be my guests. We'd spent a cracking couple of months after all and I didn't want them to miss out on a tiny bit of luxury. The flight to Beijing was on time and pretty straightforward, and we arrived before 11pm, five hours before our next one to London Gatwick.

It would have been wrong not to let one of them in...

Another suitcase, some more clothes, and a last supper yet again

Another latish morning turned into lunch of Xiaolongbao for me and Zhu za noodles for Tan. She wanted me to take a load of stuff back but I had to put my foot down a bit, as this time I have more clothing to take back. She actually said to take back all my clothing to the UK as they are thinking of selling the house soon. There's no way I'd be able to do that though.

Predictably, Xixi said she didn't have enough space for her stuff. I told her in the UK we should take a large suitcase each but she said it was too embarrassing for each of us to take a large one. I absolutely knew this would happen so I said she could get one with her own money. We drove down to the centre and found a place selling them by the Zhongxin supermarket. We decided that a hard hand luggage one should be sufficient, which makes sense as we have enough large suitcases between us anyway, but not enough hard hand ones. So we ended up getting a silver one for 169 kuai, and of course I had to send 50 kuai to Xixi so she could actually pay for it.

Xixi got her nails done a couple of days ago

Luckily it was big enough, so next I wanted to go back to the Pingguo Haliao shop and pick up a top for Awl and maybe some more for myself. And this time Xixi accompanied me as I said I'd appreciate her opinion. Unfortunately the dark blue top wasn't available in XXL, so I ended up getting another black one for him, the same as mine. In the 50% off section there wasn't a great deal in XXL/XXXL in colours I wanted but I got a blue track suit top and a black and grey running top that met with Xixi's approval. And when I went to pay I had to pick up a mini fan that when spinning displayed lights to say something like "Fight, Guangxi team", but unfortunately is not picked up on the camera.

Awl's top on the left, my track suit top and running top in the middle and right, and three tickets to the next game they gave us that I won't be able to go to

On the way back Xixi and I stopped off at the place Lu Hai and Lao Ma used to live at, and where Tan and I spent our first days in Pingguo back in 2003/2004. Not that it really matters but I have taken photos in 10 year intervals since then (so three in all), and this time it's not changed so much since 10 years ago.

2004

2014

2024

Next, for the first time in over a year, I posted on Weixin to show the tickets I had for the match that I wouldn't be able to see, and to offer them to whoever wanted them. I instantly got a few replies, mostly asking if I was still in Pingguo (yes, obviously), and to go for a drink later. I got quite an lovely message in English from the bloke whose family I'd shared bbq with a few weeks ago. I'll definitely arrange to meet up with him again if I can.

Nice message from the bloke I met the other week

So that was pretty much everything done that we needed to do, at least in terms of buying stuff. At 5pm Tan said we were going to eat bbq but the rest of us reasoned that that was rather early and we'd go in half an hour at least. That gave me time to grab a shower and a beer, and we walked the 150 yards to a relatively new place where you choose your raw food and cook it yourself at the table. It proved to be a fun and tasty experience, and Tan and I shared a single bottle of beer only. We thought it would be 300 kuai for the three of us but it only came to 178 and we were all stuffed by the end. I'll definitely come back here given the chance, but they don't open till 4pm and we need to leave at 3pm tomorrow.

Last family meal together in Pingguo this year

I decided I'd do another last supper at Zhang Hua's so pinged my friends and without exception each of them said they'd make it over. I knew A Wu was in Nanning again so didn't bother about him. I did ask him where I could get snooker gloves though as I'd checked a handful of shops and not come up with anything. After a somewhat lengthy exchange he told me to go to the place we'd played pool last summer, so I got there to find the boss wasn't there, and there was just some kid who found me a single glove. Oh well, better than nothing and anyway I'm sure I'll be able to find some on Amazon. Then Tan asked me to get some fabric conditioner, as you do, but it was already getting on for 9pm so I stopped off en route to the supermarket by the guangchang but couldn't find any after 5 minutes, but bought a little V for the journey tomorrow.

Then up to Zhang Hua's and luckily I was the first one, followed a few minutes later by Lu zong. One by one they turned up, some with friends, and we filled the table until we needed to add another. Nong helped me order more bbq, and at some later stage more non-bbq food came too. Chen had been pinging me since 8pm and I said I'd try to make it down to the oyster place. I would have invited him up but I know he doesn't get on with Huang Lei, and the latter is a better friend, and was with me tonight. I talked to Haiwei's girlfriend, Li Baoli, and got her to agree to come too so Nong wouldn't be the only lady.

My last Guangxi bbq for a while...

A few mates for the last supper of summer 2024

And the view from the first floor where I had a couple of beers with some other friends

It was a great evening and we didn't disband till well gone 1am, when I asked Zhang Hua for the bill. He only wanted 500+ kuai but I insisted on paying 700; there had been a good 10 of us eating and drinking for up to four hours after all. Li Kun and Nong went to Xiao Bai de Tian, and I said I'd try to join them in 20 minutes after meeting up with Chen, but thought it was unlikely. At least I did meet up with Chen at getting on for 2am, and managed nearly an hour there but was getting really tired so left before 3am after saying goodbye to the owner too. I did check with Nong but they had already left for the night, and I was secretly glad, so navigated the way home safely this time and remembered to but the dian dong che on charge as I would be leaving it with Li Kun tomorrow. It didn't take too long to get to sleep after that, and I knew there would be no rush tomorrow as we were pretty much packed.

Finally managed to take the dian dong che to 6000km after nine years

A very, very expensive mistake

After one of the best night's sleep for several weeks I woke up unhungover at around 10am and then Tan called to say Leilei had said I'd changed the flight dates to the 25th. Well I had but I thought I could change it, and indeed she was adamant that I change it as we "had" to be back for GCSE results day on the 22nd. Well we didn't; Xixi had already emailed school to request the results be sent via email， but unfortunately that was a detail Tan didn't care too much about, nor the fact you can enrol online these days. So it was another call to Air China to change back to the Beijing flight they'd suggested a couple of days ago. But bloody hell I'd already used up my one "free" change, and now they wanted 7080 kuai to change again. Shit. There was nothing I could do. I'd made a decision on the spur of the moment a couple of days ago and thought I had an extra five days in Pingguo, and in the space of a few minutes I'd had those days, and £750 snatched from me for a reason I could argue against, but at the same time couldn't. Sometimes life sucks, as Americans would say.

So it was back to exchanging some crypto for ugly fiat, then sending the said fiat to Li Kun again and within 45 minutes it was sorted. I received an SMS with a link to pay from Weixin, and got a call from Air China (this time in Mandarin for some reason) to confirm. So now I was poorer, and would be getting the 7.40pm flight from Nanning to Beijing. Trying to be positive at least it meant another few hours in Pingguo, and potentially another meal, if expensive.

I made the most out of the midday checkout by staying till gone then (and maybe had a little bit of V as it was now nearly the last day), and walked back via racist Huang's place, where I saw him and his wife and younger daughter eating. Of course they bade me come over to join them, and having not eaten anything I was more than happy to. It does make a change to have a sober meal with him, at least in the sense of not drinking with the meal, and I knew it was likely my last time with him this year. These family meals where I'm invited mean the most to me; it's so nice to just have a normal chat and not have to ganbei or caima sometimes.

Lunch with Beihai Huang and family

Half an our later I was comfortably full and went home and had a quick beer before falling asleep for an hour or so about 3pm. I wouldn't normally have done so as I'd slept ok but maybe I'm becoming a bit more Chinese now (or maybe it was the drink). I must have needed the rest as felt much better when I got up. Zhang Hongping then pinged me soon after 7pm to ask what I was up to and if I could go for a drink. Well I had no plans so told him and he said to wait a minute then go for a midnight snack. He literally wrote that in English and it wasn't yet 8pm. And then said to go back quickly before my lover would scold me. I guess he was referring to Tan's curfew, at least I hope so.

So, a haircut at Lao Ma's later, he sent me a dingwei of the place we'd met up at before, and an hour later I turned up after first stopping off at the supermarket to get some last V for the trip back in two days, and trying to find some fabric conditioner but unfortunately failing as I'd not got it before at this supermarket. As I pulled up I found Zhang Hongping and A Hoc, together with the owner of the alcohol-selling place. It was a rather fun evening and I also invited Haiwei and Huang Lei to come around and of course we ended up caimaiing. I guess around 11pm people left (some people have work the next day), so I ended up going to Zhang Hua's bbq place for what might have been a last bite there.

Haiwei, Zhang Hongping, A Hoc, Huang Lei, and the boss of the alcohol shop for a nice drink

I didn't care too much about the time...Li Kun was there at least, and three women turned up too which made it a bit more fun. One of them said she wanted me to find her an English boyfriend...this is not the first time I've had such a request, and I still don't know quite how to deal with it, so I said I'd look into it. We stayed till around 2am and thankfully no-one had locked the door when I got back. So another delightful evening and again I didn't pay although I wanted to. So I resolved to go back to Zhang Hua's tomorrow for my last supper.

Back to Zhang Hua's bbq place for a late snack

Football tops and football starts

Managed to be up by 11am at least, and bought a couple of portions of xiaolongbao for the umpteenth time and had all but two of one portion. I wanted to pick up a non-football-looking Pingguo Haliao top from the official shop but rain again delayed pay. During the meanwhile Awl called me, and said he'd like a dark blue Pingguo Haliao top, so I said I'd take a look. The rain stopped so I eventually got there around 2.30pm under scalding heat...it's normally cooler after a rain storm but not today. Of course I overshot the shop by 1km at least as I realised the road was turning left and I'd not seen that before. Had I had much more exposure to the sun this could have been a problem but I've not come close to getting sunburnt here for years.

Arriving at the shop I picked up the other red top in M size for Weiwei, and found a black top I really liked for myself, though the largest they had was XXL and only just about the right fit. I did find a navy blue one for Awl but annoyingly it was 349 kuai and I'm not sure the largest size would have fitted. Still, if it's a birthday present I'm more than willing to get one if they have the biggest size.

I'll get this for Awl if they have XXL

Today was the first Man City game this season after last week's Charity Shield, so I definitely wanted to watch it, and thought watching it outside would be better. But it would end at 1.30am and I had the risk of Tan locking the door again so I thought "sod it" and booked a hotel for £19. It was worth it. I'll never understand a lot about China, but the thing I'll most not understand is the hard beds. The hotel bed was so shufu I didn't even end up going out to watch the footy, only to get a chicken and duck leg to sate my appetite.

I managed to stay up only till 2.30am and welcomed the comfort for the last time in Pingguo. A tiny bit of luxury at the cost of three pints back home. And a decent well-deserved 2-0 victory at Chelsea to boot!

Rearranging flights, meal with Huang Lei and back to Xiao Bai de Tian with Li Kun

I woke up after 3 hours' sleep at 8.30 and confirmed with my Zepp app that that indeed was the case. I went out but wasn't hungry so ended up coming back and managing maybe an hour and a half more sleep before it was lunchtime, which was the usual portion of xiaolongbao. More rain meant I didn't get out in the afternoon, so tried to sleep again, this time with a couple of beers. It did the trick, although I chased them with a wee V and cola while chatting to Awl as he was up early after a horrid three cases yesterday.

So I'd managed to sleep from about 4.30-6pm, meaning a grand total of six hours since 5.30am, not too bad. Tan and the kids got back around 7pm after having had a cracking time in Chongqing by all accounts, and spending a lot of money. 

A couple of days ago I found out that our Nanning to Shanghai flight had been cancelled on 21st and I'd been in contact with trip.com but they said as the flight was so soon I'd need to call Air China myself. Fair enough, the internal flight two months ago was also cancelled and trip.com were useless then anyway. So I called Air China and sadly chose the "English" option as I didn't want to risk screwing up stuff. The lady suggested we could take an evening flight to Beijing instead, and then a 3am flight to London. Actually that would probably be better than the original 11.15am flight to Shanghai, despite it being too late for lounges. But then I had the idea of asking if it would be possible to change the date, and indeed it was, so I asked to move it back two days, which she did, and then I realised Pingguo were playing on Saturday at home and could we move it to Sunday? Yes. Wow, I may have "bought" a few more days here! Except I told Xixi and she said no she wanted to get back and see her friends and also do her 6th form induction. Bollocks, I guess I need to call them back tomorrow to go for the Beijing option.

At 7.30pm I realised I still had the bottle of Gordon's gin. In previous years it wouldn't have lasted nearly two months at home, but I've mostly been avoiding anything stronger than beer recently. I had planned to give it to Huang Lei but the two or three times I'd seen him were with other mates and it may have been a bit awkward giving something to him but not them. So I pinged him to say I had this bottle and he asked if I was drinking. Well I may have had a beer but I said I wasn't, and he said he'd just arrived at Li Jun's house and could I come over? Well yes I could, though it was next to the police station where I register us, and Leilei had taken the bike. But as Tan was home I sent her the location and got her to order a didi che, and was there 10 minutes later.

I do like these unexpected meals, and they do like my company, but again, did it have to be me to trigger the invite. Yes, I suppose so. Inviting me to every meal might look a little desperate or something, probably why they normally wait till they're drunk and don't care so much. I called Huang Lei when I arrived and he turned up to take my bottle and put it into a car, before leading me to a newish complex where we took the lift to the fourth floor. Inside were about four families, the wives and kids as usual in the living area eating and watching tv, while the blokes were around the table. A Ning was there, as usual, as was a kettle of gongwenbao in which there were actually two types of gongwenbao - mostly a white one but with about 10% brown one. I still find it quite funny that regardless of the colour, they always call Chinese spirits baijiu, even if they're dark brown.

The owner only had one bottle of beer in the fridge, but by the time that had gone down, one of the wives opened the front door with a crate of more. Strangely, I don't recall playing caima for once. And I was feeling a bit more tipsy than normally, despite checking the beer % (3.7% for the first Russian one, 2.5% for the delivered ones). Maybe that was because we weren't playing drinking games. Li Kun then pinged me at 8.20pm to ask where I was, so I told him and he said he was taking Leilei to have bbq and for me to come around. I thanked him and said 等一下 (wait a bit) I would, but I'd barely been with Huang Lei for 45 minutes. 40 minutes later Li Kun pinged me again simply to say Xiao Bai de Tian, so I guess that's where he'd taken Leilei to eat. I said I would 等一下 go over there.

Huang Lei and A Ning at another unexpected meal

50 minutes later at 10pm the other blokes had finished their second kettle of gongwenbao and we all decided it was time to go and take the kids back too. For once I sat in the back of a car with Huang Lei, as A Ning's wife took the wheel with A Ning in the passenger's seat. I asked Huang Lei to come with me to Xiao Bai de Tian but he said he didn't like the boss there. Fair enough. At least I got a lift, and found Li Kun with his wife and two younger kids, his actual younger brother with his wife, and his fun colleague Haiyang.

Yet more ganbeis were had and I must have been more tipsy than usual as I can't remember if I table-hopped or not. Either way, Leilei wasn't there anymore so I didn't need to act too sober. One way or another we made it to well past midnight before deciding to call it a night. I think I got a lift home, though I'd have preferred to have the 5 minute walk. And then once back it was another little drink with a chat with Awl, and somehow I didn't sleep till 4am.

Li Kun's colleague Haiyang, his second daughter, his actual little brother's wife

A bit late to a traditional Guangxi meal at Boss Tang's friend's new business opening

Managed to get up reasonably late for a change and they had already sold out of most stuff at the xiaolongbao shop so I picked up five pouches of nuomi fan for only 5 kuai. Ok, a bit carby but I felt I needed that, and three of them were enough to fill me up for lunch. More rain kept me house-locked for much of the early afternoon, and then I received a call from Boss Tang, the other part-owner of the bar with Lu zong that I was at last night. He asked me to go over to his friend's new opening of a business and that he'd come and pick me up in a bit. Oh no, I think we'd talked about this last night and I'd probably agreed to come, but I had a few plans first and said to send a dingwei and I would try to leave at 7pm. He explained that it was far away but I said I would sort it. A bit later he did send a dingwei and indeed it looked to be 10km away, doable on the dian dong che if charged up.

But I needed it now to go and pick up an item of Pingguo Haliao clothing from the official shop, which itself is a good 3km away from our house, so as it had finally stopped raining I went there first at gone 4.30pm. I managed to find what I wanted and got back. But also Jiuma had got back and she was busy folding some coloured paper on the floor for some reason I may never know. I asked Xixi what time they were back and it transpired they'd take the 9am train tomorrow from Chongqing, and it looks like they had a good time as Leilei asked me for 500 kuai "for the last time"...hmm.... Oh well, my tea was the two leftover nuomi fan things heated up. 2 kuai's worth was enough for me.

The kids in Chongqing...no smiles here please...

The monorail Tan and the kids took

By the time I had sorted out the stuff I needed to sort out it was gone 8pm, but at least the bike was mostly charged. The journey took 25 minutes and part of it was on unlit industrial roads with lorries going past. Without a headlight it was a bit dangerous, but I found if I held down the switch I could keep it on for a while. Finally, when I turned up there was a bit of a roar, as most of the people had been drinking for nearly two hours. I was poured a beer, but before I could take it I had to do some Guangxi tradition of being poured two pots of baijiu. Luckily this was much weaker than the normal stuff, and not having drunk before I didn't mind too much. But of course it had to be poured down a sort of chute into a bowl that a lady dressed in traditional clothes held to my mouth, with another bowl below to catch the drips. As they started pouring they started singing, and I just know this was being filmed and uploaded to douyin within seconds. But it was quite good fun.

It actually lasts a lot longer than this as I can testify as I was next!

My turn

And the inevitable caima, followed by "gou rou!" when you win a round! I think it means "dog meat" but I still don't really understand the significance

A new friend

I managed a few rounds of caima with some of the blokes, to their great amusement, and managed to stay a "healthy" 90 minutes during which both Nong and Li Kun pinged me to go out but I had to tell them I was miles away. When I left I promised to drive carefully and indeed did, and got back with I'm sure a few km left in the batteries. But try as I might, sleep would not come, and I ended up watching the Man U v Fulham game to kick off the season and Fulham didn't deserve to lose 1-0. Finally managed a bit of kip at 5.30am.

Errands and evening with Lu zong and mates

Another relatively early rise so I went for a bit of a walk before the rain stopped any notion of anything close to yesterday's one. I recognised the place I was was where I have drunk tea in the past with Weiwei, so I took a picture and let her know, and she called me to pick her up from her office so I did. Then Xiao Nong asked if I could bring her and her son some lean meat zhou and some green tea, so I did that too, but didn't stay more than a couple of minutes before leaving just as the heavens opened. Then Weiwei said she'd messed up some paperwork and could I take her back to the office to fix it? Blimey am I becoming some sort of errand boy here? Anyway of course I did after a change of trousers. I have the time after all.

Three minutes of rain and one change of trousers

A bit later I took her to some place a few km away where she gave the papers to another woman. I didn't ask. I wanted to but by now was bloody knackered and just needed to sleep, even if it was getting on for 4pm. I hope it isn't dodgy business though, as I could be an accessory.

Finally, back home by myself I allowed myself a couple of beers and before 7pm set the alarm for 9pm, which was when I should be at Lu zong's. Two hours was just about the right time to get some rest, but hopefully not have me up all night. I pinged Lu zong to let him know I'd be around soon, but then Xiao Nong pinged me to say she was in KTV (yet again) and to come round. Well it was sort of on the way to Jiang Bing Lu in the sense it was south of our house, so I thought I would, and found her there with just some other bloke. Well I guess 9.30pm is a bit early for raucousness, even here. I stayed no more than half an hour and though she complained at leaving so early I did say I'd told her I'd been invited out (yesterday) for 9pm and it was already nearly 10pm. I said I'd try to be back in an hour, but thought it was unlikely, very unlikely.

There was no problem with me turning up at gone 10pm of course; the guys were already in good spirits and the tricolour of baijiu, hongjiu, and pijiu were in full flow. It was a great laugh and I think I'm really starting to appreciate my improved Chinese now; I can speak with new people and pretty much understand them without too much translating on the phone. I met some boss who said something about drinking tomorrow, and some muscley bloke who said he works out at the same gym and we'd go together one afternoon. I did ping Xiao Nong some time after 1am but she was already home, and anyway I'd had enough so we decided to call it a night some time between 1 and 2am, but at least this time I didn't get lost on the way back.

Great company and food at Lu zong's part-owned bar in Jiang Bing Lu

Nice long walk and more afternoon and night time KTV

Well I didn't wake early enough to see off Tan and the kids but at 9am I did check to make sure they'd actually made it out of the house, as I had a big doubt they wouldn't have. But I was up now, and rather than go back to bed I decided I'd take another walk here while I can as it was rather overcast and not massively boiling.

I ate the remainders of the birthday cakes for energy and walked up Deng Xiaoping hill until I realised my thick shorts and cotton tee-shirt were really not the right attire as the former was chafing and the latter, by the time I got back down, was soaking. So I decided to walk home for a change of clothes. It was such a good idea to put on light shorts and top, and put some water in a bag to take with me. I walked up through the guangchang and followed the route I'd walked with Zhang Liangwen a few weeks ago. I decided I would make it 10km this time, so calculated I would have to walk 2.5km north of the guangchang before heading back.

View of the city from the top of the pagoda on Deng Xiaoping hill

Bloody annoyingly as I was nearly at the most northern point, I glanced up and saw a western person on a dian dong che. Damn, I've gone so long without this. He was mostly bald and had a beard, and I really hope he is one of the several new Brazilian coaches we've recently employed. And I saw him again when I headed south and then turned right, as he had started jogging, which gave me more hope he was involved in the sport.

But I now had a more pressing problem, down below, and I wondered how many minutes I could hold out as I was pretty much as far from the house as I've ever been on foot. So I sped up my walking...worst case I could probably use the loo of a shop so I wasn't overly worried except there were very few shops in this neck of the woods as the houses were still being built. But I just made it, and even dared get some jiaozi to take home. At the jiaozi place I bumped into Lu zong who said we were to go for a drink at his bar on Jiang Bing Lu tomorrow at 9pm, cool.

Our ant tree, but sadly the main "ant" bit has now been removed

They actually have a form of pinyin for the local language

The angry cat near the jiaozi place is getting bigger

My 11.36km route to the north of Pingguo

I only just managed to get my shoes and socks off before relieving myself on the squatter. Annoyingly the proper toilet is blocked again and it's not unblocking as easily as the last few times. Ahh, such relief.... I'd noticed Xiao Nong had sent me a message earlier at 11.45am but not had time to check. She asked if I was up and I answered that I was. Then she said how about going to KTV? When? 1-2 o'clock. What? Yep, she was going to go with her bestie she known since childhood. Well I'd had only 5+ hours' sleep and had just cracked open a beer to go with my jiaozi and a siesta and now had to make a decision. I decided to drink some cola and go for it. I thought seriously about grabbing 30 minutes of rest but I said I'd pick up food and drink and I know myself and that I wouldn't be that quick. I also ate all my jiaozi as I'd managed 11.36km in the end with only that tiny bit of cake as sustenance.

She said it was just one friend and her kids, but you never know how many people will turn up, so at Guanmart I bought some extra beer and more food than last time. And like last time I bought a box of cold yellow Li Quan 4.1%ers from the local shop while she was asking where I was. So I turned up fashionably late and she was the only one there with her youngest son, and it was like that for another half an hour till her bestie turned up. After an hour or so of beers I finally got round to singing a couple of songs, much to Xiao Nong's appreciation, and we stayed till getting on for 6pm when it was decided we'd go to eat.

So to the underground mall it was to the place we ate last year, for won ton, which Xiao Nong's son threw up under the table of course. I picked up some tea for me and the kids, and after that it was goodbye to her friend and kids, and over to the hospital for Xiao Nong's son's drip after dropping off the rest of the food and beer at her place. I let him watch cartoons on my phone as Xiao Nong slept for 45 minutes or so, then we were off again to another place when the drip was done. Some friend or another I guess, and we sat down to restart on the beer. This went on till about midnight when I heard that we were going to another KTV.

And indeed we did, for at least another hour. Then around 2am I went to take her home but she'd forgotten her keys. We thought they were at the previous place but no, nothing there, so went back the the KTV where fortunately we found them, but then we were taken to another room for more beers and I ended up playing the dice game with one of the women there. I think I finally got her home at well gone 2.30am.

Gym and Tan's birthday

Happy Birthday Tan!

I didn't have a present for her as I thought it would be nicer to have a meal with friends later (obviously unplanned), but A Xia is away and Tan wasn't really in the mood. Well I guess 51 is not a major celebration anywhere...

At least, for the first time in too long, after a tiny bowl of noodles and yoghurt (not mixed) I finally forced myself to go to the gym just before 2pm and made it an hour session. With only just over a week to go I need to make the most out of this. Back home I was hungry after my shower so probably shouldn't have cracked open that beer, but it felt rather justified.

Still don't trust the distance on the elliptical

There was precious little to eat though, and I didn't really want the carby zongzi, so I opened a pack of sunflower seeds and snacked on them while I pinged Li Kun about the order of the suits in the nine-grid card game last night. I had remembered correctly, it was 黑桃、红心、梅花、方块 (Spades, Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds), and probably applies to other Chinese card games. I also found out he didn't get home till 4am, but he is on holiday this week so fair enough.

At 4.45pm Xixi arose to tell me to get mama a cake. Ah yes, I'd forgotten about that. She said she was nearly ready to go so half an hour later we rode down to Guanmart to pick up some stuff for their journey tomorrow plus we ended up buying two small cakes at the bakery as they didn't have any big ones (we should have ordered days in advance really). Then, once back we decided to go to Xiao Tang zong for our meal, except for Leilei who'd decided to go to Li Kun's and eat elsewhere. It was a nice spicy dish and afterwards Xixi decided to go home with me while Tan went to see Laoma for a chat.

Shopping with Xixi and her coloured hair

Stroppy birthday! It's ok, we're all on our phones while waiting for food...

It can't have been much of a chat as she was home 20 minutes later, but at least it meant we could do the cake. And they do do good cakes here, that even I can eat. So light and fluffy and not even that sweet. I had one slice of each. As they had booked a didi che for 8.10am tomorrow they needed to try to get an early night though I have a suspicion most of the sleeping will be done on the train. An although I was tempted to go to get some bbq I decided at 11pm I'd stay at home and not disturb. I'd done my job of sending GBP via Wise to Li Kun's WeiXin and he'd sent it to me in time for me to send it to Tan before sleep. Although it took a worrying hour or so to come through, as recently it's been as quick as 2 minutes. First World problem ultimately.

Taking a photo of taking photos of gorgeous Chinese birthday cake

No gym but meet Li Kun and end up at Xiao Bai de Tian again

Oh no! We've run out of the Coffee-Mate I brought over. This meant a trip to Guanmart in the morning to pick some up where I also stocked up on 雪花啤酒 as you do. Plus four more dragon fruit for Tan to take to Chongqing the day after tomorrow with the kids. I did suggest she might be able to pick them up there but she said she didn't want to waste time there. I daresay you wouldn't waste any time finding a street vendor selling them in Chongqing instead of lugging 2kg's worth of fruit for eight hours. Except I didn't dare say that.

For the ninth time out of the last 10 days I went out to get fen for Tan, now she's on a streak of about five days, of 猪杂老友粉,微辣, which literally translates as pig offal rice noodles, slightly spicy. 微辣 is a useful term I've strangely only learnt this summer, and is often used to apply to bbq too especially if kids will be having some. I picked up a couple of portions of xiaolongbao too hoping that the kids would partake, and managed a whole portion to myself hoping it would incentivise me to go to the gym. I shouldn't need such an incentive; the copious beers from the previous day should be enough. And I probably would have gone had Tan made the effort but her bum was hurting from yesterday's session (in the gym), and I found I still needed to be quite close to the toilet for other bum-related issues. So sadly in the end I ended up not going either. It must be two weeks since the last time now.

To make up for it I did manage a session of dumbbells at least for half an hour or so before a shower and a thirst-quenching Snowflake beer. My appetite was back, but the kids had still barely stirred so I had the second portion of xiaolongbao for tea and Tan ordered pizza and chips for the kids as it would get them out.

I thought of going to see Zhang Hua but ended up first pinging Li Kun to see what he was up to as I'd not seen him in four days. "Drinking tea" of course, so I suggested I bring over a few beers and he said to come over. I bought a box of 12 beers and the old shopkeeper asked me if they were for myself and I said no of course, I was going to meet some friends. So he advised me to buy another box. I think he genuinely meant that as advice rather than trying to sell more wares, and he was right. I didn't know how many people would be there and turning up with 12 is not the way we do it here. If I'm going to identify in any way as being Chinese then I have to get these sorts of things right. And blimey it was only 120 kuai after all.

I turned up to find only Li Kun, little man, and another bloke there. Only little man was drinking beer as usual, but he opened one of my boxes and poured me and Li Kun a beer. Li Kun was busy playing a fighting game on his phone as usual, and although it's mostly Chinese you often hear "enemy slain!", so I made sure he understood such phrases. Then, after a while at getting on for 11.30pm he said he had a message from Xiao Bai de Tian's husband who said he was a little bored as there weren't many people in the bar and to come over for a drink. So Li Kun and I took our bikes there and indeed there was only one table with guests, so we sat with him and Xiao Bai for a couple of drinks and to play a card game called 九宫格 (nine-grid).

This time, finally, the rules were really straightforward; Xiao Bai dealt nine cards in a 3x3 oblong. She explained that Ace was low and King was high except black and white joker was higher and colour joker was higher than that, with the extra card you sometimes get being the absolute highest. The idea was simple: the player whose turn it is points at any of the cards and say "big" or "small", or rather it would be "higher" or "lower", and the dealer lays a card from the rest of the pack on top. If you are right you have the option of having another go, or passing to the next player. If you are wrong you pick the pile of cards. The exception is that if you are right but the card is a 7 or 8 you are obliged to guess again. There is an order to the suits and I know trumps are highest but can't remember the rest of the order.

The end of the game is when the last pile has been picked up. Now come the forfeits: for every 10 cards in your hand you have to drink a glass of beer, but you have to round up, so 5 to 9 becomes 10, 15-19 becomes 20 etc. Secondly, those damn jokers and the special card count for an extra glass each, so you want to be careful about choosing piles you know have these cards. It's an incredibly fun drinking game that I was incredibly unlucky at, much to the mirth of the others, and I'll definitely bring it back to the UK.

Xiao Bai's husband was obliged to do a couple of songs by the one table that had guests, so we had more live entertainment

Xiao Bai bought us lots of bbq including beef ribs that I've not seen on a skewer before. By 1am Li Kun pinged Tan to tell her not to lock the door as I was with him, but I left at 1.30am anyway and he said if there was any issue I could stay with him. But I pinged Leilei and Xixi came to unlock the door 5 minutes later so no real problem.

Waterless walk up 马头山, two good deeds, and a late bite

Up 9ish for a change, but I still couldn't stomach breakfast, so to burn off some excessiveness from the last few days and weeks I decided at 11.15am to do something I haven't done in about 10 years and walk up Horse Head Mountain. And to walk there instead of taking the dian dong che. It was a good idea but imperfectly executed. Although it was rather overcast, after 5 minutes of walking the sun burst out and I hadn't put on any sunscreen, so I had to keep under the overhangs of the shops to get as much shade as possible. Then when I got to the base I found the normal entrance boarded up. I walked around and found another one boarded up too. I had to walk around to a mini guangchang to find an actual way in, and totally forgot to pick up some water before mounting the stairs.

I'd forgotten how much the relentless steps can take it out of you, but resolved to carry on, with or without water. Well, without. It took a while and a couple of pauses but I managed it, and found a dad and his two sons there wearing sandals as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I forced myself to continue on the path to the pagoda and just made it to the top of that, shaking at the effort. I noticed a young couple each with a bottle of water and nearly asked for a sip but I knew now that the rest of the mountain steps would be downhill and I should make it, which I did and treated myself to a 5 kuai bottle of vitamin water before walking back a more direct route. Back home, despite having walked nearly 7.5km I still wasn't that hungry and only had a bit of leftover duck and chicken that Tan had brought back from a meal with Huang Chun two days ago.

View of the pagoda from the highest point of 马头山

The ever-changing Pingguo skyline

You can't even see our old place from here anymore

Ha, the house we stayed at in 2009...memories of relentless music emanating from the mobile phone shops

Unfortunately Xiao Nong's youngest son of 3 is in hospital with 喉咙长泡 that translates to "blisters in the throat". I guess there's an English term for it but I can't find it. She pinged me at 2pm to say she was shattered (困) and I asked how her son was. Apparently as she been going to get some food he'd been administered more medicine so she'd had to stay so was also starving, so of course I offered my assistance. She said she feared I wouldn't find her but sent me a dingwei anyway. At least the hospital was only 300 yards away. After a shower it proved harder to find the 粥 she wanted as not that many eating places do it and anyway it was getting on for 3pm so a lot of stuff was sold out. But luckily the fourth place had some so I brought that plus some drinks plus some yoghurt from home. I saw a message asking me to get some baby oil and some wipes from the mother and baby shop outside the hospital and indeed found the oil with the help of the assistant, but there were choices so I sent a picture but she said she wanted 喷水 which means one with a spray thing on top. Then she just video called and spoke to the assistant which made sense as she needed one that had certain medicinal qualities that I wouldn't have understood.

She'd sent written instructions on how to find her son's bed, so I showed these to the receptionist and told me to go to another building opposite. Fair enough, I went there and showed the receptionist the instructions and she pointed to a lift, so up I went to the 3rd floor. The instructions were once out of the lift to turn left and then left again. Simple, but it just led to a dead end with toilets. So I turned around and found a nurse, who told me I was in the wrong building, and to take the bridge back to the original one. Once there another nurse told me I was on the wrong floor, and to go upstairs. Finally, when I got to the top I heard 明哥 (I think), and it was her calling me. Had the first receptionist just told me to take the lift near the first entrance I'd have been there 5 minutes earlier, not that it really mattered. Her poor little kid had a lot of dressing on that she, despite her hunger, focused on changing first while he watched 动画片 (cartoons) on his pad, before feeding him the 粥 first.

So having done my good deed for the day I left 40 minutes later as I noticed my top was a bit smelly. It was washed but probably brought in before fully dry and had a dank, musty smell. So once changed, it was a trip to Guanmart again to get the tissues and other stuff I forgot yesterday, and top up a bit on beer as I only have the 4.1% stuff left in the fridge and need something weaker. As I'd missed the gym yet again I did some weights at home for a while. I think I waited till well after 5pm before succumbing to a cold one, which then sparked my appetite a little and my tea was a duplicate of lunch, with a beer providing the carbs to make it "balanced".

I pinged Haiwei to apologise for not coming back last night and he told me they were drinking till 1am in the end. Then he said to go to the CBD office/shop I'd been to a couple of times before, to have a drink at 8pm. It was 7.30pm by now so I said "ok", and managed to get there at 8.30pm. There were a handful of people there and not that much to eat other than marinated chicken claws and duck stomach and the ever-present peanuts. But it was quite good fun and for once everyone was speaking fairly standard Mandarin most of the time, and I could follow the majority. We stayed till the beer, wine, and gongwenbao were finished and though it would have been a few taps on the phone to get more we decided to call it a night soon after 11pm.

Another social evening with Haiwei and friends

On my way back I passed by Huang's Beihai Haixian place and saw him there so went to say hello, but I didn't make it passed the table full of people who bade me sit down and eat and drink with them. That was quite good fun and I got a little tipsy with them before Huang said he had to go home. Just before midnight I told Xiao Nong I was going home in a bit and did they want anything to eat as I was only 150 yards away? Yep, but she didn't know what. I suggested bbq but no, then after a while (half an hour at least) of to'ing and fro'ing I said I'd get seafood zhou as there was a large bowl of it on our table so she said yeah, and then yeah to bbq too. But in the end the latter would have taken too long so I got a fresh bowl of zhou cooked for her and a can of cola and a bottle of water and enforced 25 kuai on the boss who only wanted 10. I explained that I'd been eating and drinking their stuff for the last half an hour or so but it doesn't work like that here. Anyway, I'd paid and there was nothing she do.

Back at the hospital for the second time today (technically the first as it was gone midnight) I did my second good deed of the day (technically first) and delivered the stuff and didn't stay more than 5 minutes as they were getting ready for bed, and by now it was already beyond curfew and Leilei was asking where I was.

Lunch and sport with A Wu and son, tea with alcohol boss, then meal with Haiwei

Well I had no call in the morning to play sports with A Wu, but this was more than expected. It had meant I'd taken my phone off silent though, so kept receiving calls from people I don't know that I never answer. But I managed to doze on and off (thanks to no drilling this morning) till getting on for lunch, when I thought I'd ping A Wu to see if he'd eaten. In typical style he replied with a video from the place that does duck fen and said to hurry up and come over. Well this wasn't really that unexpected though he could have invited me like a few minutes before or something. I wasn't going to bother with a shower yet so thought "why not?" and drove over there where my portion was waiting at the counter, so I added some spring onion and chilli as you do and sat down with him and his second son, Li Yun, for much more than I could really eat.

Duck leg and breast fen for lunch

I noticed that for once, A Wu left some of his noodles. I've noticed his stomach is a bit more protruding than before, so maybe he's noticed and doing something about it. Li Yun, on the other hand finished every last bit. I maybe managed a third of my noodles but finished the duck breast and leg easily. Ok, so in a bit we were to go to his apartment complex and play badminton and table tennis just as we'd done before. Cool. I'd go home to change and get my bat and take that crap that had been boiling up over the last few minutes.

Of course when I got there half an hour later they were not about so I went to his house to find him cooking. He said to speak English to Li Yun, which wasn't easy as he had a vocabulary consisting of a few colours, a few fruits, and "my name is" and "I'm fine thanks, and you?". But I did what I could for 20 minutes or so before Li Yun and I went outside to play badminton. I had had the foresight to bring sun cream and definitely needed it, except after a few minutes of playing under the sun Li Yun said it was too hot and we then played in a narrow strip under the trees.

Playing badminton with Li Yun in a strip of shade

After a while he said it was too tiring (he was by now sitting on a bench hitting shots back to me) so we went to the children's playing area where they have table tennis tables with metal nets. We played for 15 minutes before A Wu finally came down to take his place. This is sadly only the second time I've played table tennis this time in Pingguo, and it hardly counts. We then moved on to badminton, using the exercise machines as nets, and for the first time in a while I did better than him, doing trick shots behind my back that he tried to copy with little success but with much laughter. But the heat had sapped out most of our energy so after 15 minutes we called it a day. He pointed to a building behind us and said that tonight we'd be drinking there. I said that should be fine and that I'd go over after eating with Haiwei.

So I got back and grabbed a shower after 4pm, after which I got a message from 小娟, the woman who works at the alcohol shop, to come over and drink tea. Haiwei had just pinged me to ask if 7pm would be ok to eat, so as it had just turned 5pm that gave me the time to tell her sure I'd be able to pop over in half an hour (after a quick 3.3% can). So I duly did, and she was there with a couple of friends indeed drinking tea. I thought they were playing mopai so joined in only to find it was a completely different game I didn't know how to play. I duly lost, but my forfeit was to drink a glass of water which was quite fitting as the A/C was putting out a pathetic amount of cool air and everyone was complaining about it and sweating.

It turned out it was the boss's daughter's birthday, and a cake turned up, then food, then more food, then the table was put out as more and more people arrived. Oh no, I mentioned I had another meal to go to but the boss lady said "you are eating here, right?". They'd assumed that I would be, while only inviting me for tea. On another evening I'd have been pleased as punch, but I apologised and I think they understood I'd already been invited out. Not that it stopped them asking me to eat a few more times, and giving me a rose...oh shit, it's Chinese Valentines' day today! At well gone 7pm I left them saying I'd come back later if they were still around, and they said most of them should be.

Preparing for the boss's daughter's birthday meal outside the alcohol shop

Of course I got a call from Haiwei when I was driving to the youcha place by the guangchang where he was eating. Well not just eating but when I arrived he was doing the cooking too. So we ended up waiting 20 minutes for the food to be prepared. I wasn't complaining in the least but I could have spent that time at the other place having a perfunctory bowl of something and maybe a glass of wine. But the meal was great of course, and only his younger son was there who wasn't too interested in speaking with me in English, preferring his phone games of course.

Great meal with Haiwei and son and friends

After one beer Haiwei moved onto the gongwenbao when some other bloke turned up with two bottles of the stuff. The other cook stated he wasn't drinking today, and Haiwei's girlfriend, 李宝丽, and her best friend weren't drinking as they were both on medicine. Well I got some English out of second son, and lots of Mandarin from the others, until at around 10pm I'd literally had enough beer, and said I'd try to pop back later but was honest about meeting up with 小娟 by using the jokey excuse that there were many beautiful ladies there, and it was accepted with a "see you later" goodbye.

Unfortunately 小娟 had left, presumably to take care of her young kids, but I was welcomed by all and had to ganbei quite a few glasses of red wine which at this stage was more welcoming than beer. The bloke to my right had a lit cigarette in his right hand and an unlit one in his left. He slowly bent over while sitting and I could tell he'd fallen asleep, so I took the lit fag from his hand and threw it away thoughtfully. I do like the way it's totally acceptable to fall asleep at table though, a little bit like burping at a Japanese meal (if that's true) to show that you've appreciated what the host has done.

But I only stayed 20 minutes or so as A Wu and his mates were waiting. He had a jokey go at me for being so late but I told him I'd just been with some beautiful women and what would he have done? And to be fair when I got there it was a sausage fest of half naked, drunken men, and might have been more fun had it not been contrasted to the last place I'd been. I managed to leave around midnight and had no inclination to go anywhere else, and got home and fell asleep to S2E2 of Breaking Bad so I'm going to have to watch it again.

The last meal of the day was a bit of a sausage fest