Well it was New Year's Day today and I had no plans. But that changed when Haiwei called me at 11am to go to his mum's for lunch, which was very nice of him. I probably could have called any number of people and invited myself as I guess it's quite an auspicious day. But anyway, 1h40m later I was being called again asking where I was. Well I'd stopped off to buy some cherries for 88 kuai which was the least I could do.
Lunch was great and for the first time in a long time we actually had a few beers with it. But that was it and afterwards I went back to Lin Hong's. I maybe could have slept after the couple of beers but instead decided to go for walk and pick up some cola as I'd noticed that the larger supermarkets were open, even if the majority of other shops were not. It wasn't even cold so I ended up sitting on a bench at the guangchang approving the sunset with no plans whatsoever.
Not the most interesting of sunsets but it made me warm inside
So I just walked back to Lin Hong's but just as I got to the main gate I heard a "hello!" from the shop opposite. There was a family sitting down outside it and they bade me sit down with them and speak some English with the son. Well how could I refuse? I ended up staying the best part of two hours and ingratiating them a little with what English the son understood. His elder sister didn't speak any but explained that she made her living making films, mainly for douyin, and politely asked if she could film me, but promised she wouldn't use it for commercial purposes. Yes of course, so I was filmed picking up some duck and saying it was delicious in the local language. I guess I'll check douyin in a while....
Great chat with a family outside Lin Hong's place
Then as I was about to contemplate an early night, Nong pinged me to go to her hometown in Bangxu tomorrow, and as I'd not had a siesta I told her I'd probably be able to make it. You can't really turn these things down.
Well today it was New Year's Eve (Chu Xi), and although I'd been invited out by a friend, Ling Ming had pinged me to eat with them and as it is traditional to eat with family I said I would. So they came to pick me up at 5ish as I was at Lin Hong's place. Of course it wasn't that simple and they said to meet by the large bins outside but I couldn't find them. Finally I just sent a picture of where I was and his wife Nong turned up in her car and we drove to her parents' place.
Most houses have these huge incense sticks outside to remember the dead
Family meal with Ling Ming and his wife Nong
I was a bit worried about drinking arrangements as Ling Ming had told me in December that his wife didn't let him drink alcohol, but there was a pack of six cans of 1998 luckily, and even better, he was allowed to drink a few glasses, together with some other bloke. But during the whole meal the three of us only had those six beers. Until an uncle brought out a large bottle and said it contained monkey-alcohol. I genuinely thought he was joking for a bit but no, they put the body of a monkey into a vat of booze for a couple of years or so and then drink it. Of course I tried a little...it wasn't dreadful but I wouldn't have said it tasted of monkey...not that I would have known.
Monkey alcohol of course
Li Kun had pinged me to go to drink with him and as I was pretty sober I made my excuses and got a lift home a bit later, from where I took the dian dong che the long 10 minute drive to his elder brother's place I'd visited a year or so ago. It was much more of a fun affair sinking the 2.8%ers and playing with the kids. I'd had the presence of mind to withdraw some cash and also bought some red envelopes, and even though there was no countdown to midnight when we went out to watch the fireworks I handed three red envelopes to each of Li Kun's kids, and got big kisses from his youngest son. Li Kun then berated me for putting 100 kuai in each envelope as apparently now it is only appropriate to put in 20 kuai, otherwise other people giving red envelopes might feel bad. Whatever, I told him I don't see his kids that often but in fact I've seen them more than Andrew's kids in the last couple of years.
Cooking bbq at Li Kun's elder brother's house as you do on New Year's Eve
Around 1am we went to his studio where the kids were still wide awake, and quaffed a few more beers until I noticed that Nong had pinged me to wish me a Happy New Year. She was out of course and presently at 2am I asked if she still was, and this being Pingguo, yes she was, at the youcha place by Xiao Bai de Tian's so of course I drove over as Li Kun was taking the kids home. It was a cool 90 minutes with her and a mate and the boss...not too much ganbeiing and eventually we called it a night at getting on for 3.30am. I think I went back to Lin Hong's place after that but can't be sure.
Blooming Xiao Nong called me at 8.58am to say she was coming over for breakfast. Oh, fair enough, but I was at Lin Hong's place so was glad I'd had the presence of mind to charge up the dian dong che last night as I made my way over to my place 15 minutes later. She arrived 10 minutes later and indeed we ate dumplings as you do. A bit later I got some sleep as hadn't had enough and it was catching up on me. At least this time I was in my own place.
But of course at 3pm A Wu called to go to eat lamb in the place I'd been to before, and I found it was only a couple of minutes walk from my place. Not that I had much to eat though. Apparently we were to go to have a meal with a load of blokes shortly afterwards as you do. It was another sausagefest but this time outdoors and had clearly started before 5pm. Huang Lei was there too at least. I managed some ganbeis and caima but felt something wrong in my tummy and as I wasn't too far from Lin Hong's place thought it better to go "home" to take a dump.
"Lunch" at the lamb place near my place with A Wu and daughter
Another sausagefest, this time outside
While this was a reasonable idea, I found myself lying down on the bed two and a half hours later so pinged Huang Lei to ask if he was still there but heard nothing so rode over to find that they were finishing. But fear not, he was there, and said we were to go to another place for drinks, and we ended up riding to Zhang Hua's bbq place where we met up with a load of his ex-colleagues who were all blokes. Someone had brought a bottle of brandy, but this was poured into a large jug together with two large bottles of red tea. Needless to say I stuck to the beer. It was quite a good laugh as I was wide awake after my nap, and of course it was good to catch up with Zhang Hua. Huang Lei was plastered though, so left a bit earlier than me, and I think I got back to Lin Hong's around 1am.
I think I spent the night at my place and after getting up too late for breakfast decided to go to Liang ge's Dongbei jiaozi place I'd been to a few days ago with Li Kun and his wife. And for once I actually managed a whole portion and some of the side salad, and he even let me pay 13 kuai for it.
Being the only customer at Liang ge's place
A bit later at getting on for 6pm A Wu pinged me to go for a drink at some garage from what it looked like, but I'd fallen asleep and only awoke at gone 7pm so asked if he was still about and yes he was but we were to go to a different place. In the end we ended up at A Zhu's place, which at least is pretty central, and where the womenfolk were cooking bbq and chatting as you do, and the menfolk were playing cards and drinking alcohol as you do. I managed to do ok in mopai, despite still not really understanding the rules 100%, something I intend to fix by the end of my stay here this time. Finally at gone midnight I went to Lin Hong's place to stay the night for what may be the first time since I technically moved in.
I awoke to a message from a woman who wasn't the person who helped me get my flat, but was somehow affiliated with it, and to whom I'd paid 231 kuai the other day for "service upkeep" or something similar. It is 77 kuai a month and obviously wasn't mentioned when I signed the contract. But this morning she wrote to say that I had run out of money for electricity, and that I should sort it out via Weixin. This is rather a big deal, so I got out of bed and followed her instructions and somehow after 20 minutes I'd managed not only to top-up 100 kuai, but also somehow set it to auto-top-up, which I'm not really sure is a good idea.
I managed to pay the electricity bill almost on my own
By now it was a bit late for breakfast as usual but I managed to get a portion of xiaolongbao for lunch after Huang Lei pinged me to go to eat with his family tonight to celebrate the first birthday of his wife's son's daughter as you do. He'd actually told me last night to pick up a present for her, and to bring some fruit. So of course when I pinged him to confirm who the meal was for he said not to bring anything. Well I wasn't buying that, and went to the supermarket to pick up some booze and a teddy for 30 kuai. Of course it wasn't as simple as that; the lady at the till made me register my phone number so I would have discounts for future visits that I would probably never make.
Bear and booze...
Of course I got a phone call at 5pm to come over an hour early but I insisted on getting a box of cherries for about 15 quid. And when I did turn up the cherries and the teddy weren't even looked at, instead put away to the side, so it probably wasn't really worth getting them. We ended up standing around for about half an hour but it was cool and I got to speak to people I wouldn't normally have done. The kids were really cute and seemed to enjoy speaking to "foreign uncle" until eventually more people turned up and we started to eat well after 6pm.
Delightful company before the meal...
...and not quite so delightful company at the meal
Of course it was a great meal, and caima ensued as it does, until 9pm or so when the heavens opened just when I thought it would be a good idea to go back. So I ended up staying longer than I'd planned until it died down and I can't remember when or where I went after that.
I slept at my place and awoke to the sound of an incoming Weixin call from Lin Hong that I didn't answer. Then she sent a PDF of the concert to take place on the 12th February that I was supposed to be involved in yet again. But I got back to her to say my flight was due on the morning of the 12th so I wouldn't be able to make it. So she changed the subject and asked if I was at home. Hmm...she meant her home of course, not mine, so I sort of lied and said I wasn't currently there, and that I was getting something to eat, and that I'd be there in a bit. She said she was going to change the key. What? Or was it that she had the key and was going to change something? No online translation service made much sense of 我有锁匙我去换了 so I figured I'd better get there to see what she was doing.
By now it was getting on for 11.30am so the roads were packed with people travelling to lunch, and I noticed a missed call from Lin Hong, so I called her back to see what was going on and apparently she was waiting for me so I told her I'd be 3 minutes and indeed was, and indeed she was waiting for me outside the flat. So much for having a key. I appeared to be the only one with one and let her in. It ended up being the curtains that she wanted to change; apparently the existing ones were too light and let in the light. I immediately felt bad as I hadn't yet spent a night here. She got to work putting on the new hooks and within 15 minutes had changed the curtains and indeed they were far darker and I resolved to spend at least a few nghts there. She had also bought a red New Year thing to stick on the front door but there was no tape to stick it up so I said I'd sort it soon.
Lin Hong fixing darker curtains
The living room is not exactly pristine
Then she heard me cough and said I must have a cold. That's the way it is here. One cough and they're all telling you how you shouldn't be outside etc. when in fact this annoying cough has been dragging on and off since December when I caught it here. But of course it meant the duvet wasn't thick enough and I couldn't argue, so I ended up following her to her house to pick up another one. We ended up spending 10 minutes trying to put the blanket in the cover and fold it up but eventually sorted it out. Then she got most of a crate of water bottles and we went downstairs where finally she let me go back alone. So back "home" I added the second duvet and now had pretty much all I needed were I to be living here. I'd brought over the stuff I'd need for washing so that was about it; there was hot water, electricity, but somehow it really didn't feel like "home", even when I'd picked up some red Sellotape to stick up the New Year thing on the front door.
Lunch ended up being jiaozi, which is my favourite default, before going to the gym for another personal session. I don't really like my personal trainer; he smells a bit of smoke. But at least I'm not alone in the gym.
Later on at 6.30pm A Wu pinged me to "eat pig" as one does. I told him I'd grab a shower and he said to "hurry up" so nothing has changed in 21 years. Oh blimey, I met him and we got a didi che to the same place we'd gone to last year...almost all blokes and too much alcohol. I wasn't massively in the mood but at least I'd been to the gym. Of course they'd been drinking for an hour or two before I got there so I was forced to ganbei multiple times.
Well I had to table-hop multiple times and play caima with many people but I mostly managed it before coming back to the original table I'd started at. At least there was woman there, so I thought it would be safe, but she appeared to have drunk more than the blokes. But at least her husband was there and she proved it by giving him a kiss on the lips, something that is so rare here. Then she caima'd with me and lost quite a bit and I worried she might be too drunk (a rarity on 2.5% beer but you never know). Then she went round to the other side of the table and announced she was three months pregnant, showing her rather rotund tummy as if proof. Then she came back and sat next to me and lit a cigarette. Jeez I really don't know if "pregnant" just meant "fat", and I really hope it does, or did in this context.
Is she really preggars? I hope not
Eventually enough of us decided it was time to go back, and a didi che was ordered, and we ended up going to the "Chamber of Commerce", which basically means "blokes' drinking place" but I couldn't stand the bloat for that long so around midnight decided to walk it back "home" to Waipo's instead of Lin Hong's. But I wasn't sleepy so went for a bit of a walk and ended up getting called to a table to drink with some folk(s) for half an hour or so. Blimey it was really fun, much more so than the sausagefest earlier. I ended up sleeping at my house rather than Lin Hong's place but didn't feel too guilty.
I woke up not really knowing where I was but it was my place; I'd streamed the match last night while tethering my phone as of course there's no wifi here despite trying to connect to neighbouring SSIDs with the usual 888888888 password to no effect. But now it was lunchtime so I boringly made use of one of the new bowls and made myself some pao mian. It filled a hole at least.
A bit later in the afternoon I popped in to see Li Kun and drink some tea (and this time it was only tea) before I made the decision to go and practise the piano for the first time in over two weeks. It was a bit of a relief not to be sweating, until of course I started as ragtime is apt to make you. Oh why hadn't I done this before? Of course it's because I get up too late in the morning, sometimes have gym in the afternoon, and am almost always out in the evening. It felt better than a gym session though. But unfortunately they are closing tomorrow afternoon for the New Year so it may be a while before I get the next chance.
But it wasn't long before Li Kun asked if I'd finished practising, and could I come for a meal with music teacher Yan? Well of course. So I got back to his place and we decided to walk to the pig stomach and chicken hotpot place as you do. Or as you don't, as I rarely walk more than 5 minutes with anyone, and this was at least 15. Of course it was a cracking meal...I didn't truthfully remember Yan Laoshi but apparently I'd eaten with him 6 or 7 years ago. Li Laoshi turned up, and Mong was there so at least there were some people I knew. Some other bloke seemed to be in charge and bade us drink some beer but he only had a sip as apparently he had to be somewhere soon to do something.
Some of us at Yan Laoshi's meal
The only thing to disturb my evening was a horrid tummy problem that would only be fixed by a good shit. As we'd walked here in 15 minutes I reckoned I wouldn't have time to go home to Waipo's place to the porcelain princess, so I manly decided I would have to do the deed at the restaurant. Thankfully, from experience, I always check the tissue situation first, and indeed the first loo didn't have any. The second did, but the bloody toilet/keyhole was annoyingly right next to the wall. But I didn't have any more time to negotiate a better deal. There were tissues and that was what counted (yes I had a few in my back pocket but maybe not enough). And with some leaning to my left I managed to perch over the hole and do the deed without too much mess, and got back without people asking why I'd been so long. It felt like a victory.
The oddly-orientated toilet I was forced to use (tissues in the holder)
Eventually after a few more people arrived, Li Kun and I made our excuses and left after ganbeiing with Yan Laoshi who was a bit sad we couldn't stay much longer. But I needed the walk and we went back to Li Kun's studio for a bit of tea before he got a message from Xiao Bai's husband to come over to their bar for a drink. Well I hadn't done so so far this year so was up for it, and took the dian dong che I'd left at Li Kun's earlier. But for some reason, despite having been there numerous times before, I couldn't see where it was. I stopped off where I felt it should be and saw a tiny light from inside. I wandered in and found I was correct, it was just that they had no electricity and only had some battery-powered night-lights to light the two tables that were populated.
Xiao Bai de Tian's by electric-light
Well, that wasn't a problem of course; there was beer and stuff to eat. Xiao Bai and I had a joke about being non-locals and after that she insisted on calling me "bendi ren" (local person) as she thinks I'm more local than her, which I hope is true in a way. Anyway, it was a great time to wind down another great evening
Haha it's not that important but it was for me. I'd nicked a pack of toilet tissues for my apartment from Waipo's house but they were the ones that needed to be hung up so that gravity enabled you to take the lowest one. Until now it hadn't been a problem but the packet was effectively upside-down, and by now I'd used it enough that it was difficult to finger-down to pick up a tissue. But no problem! I'd bought a couple of hooks (at the same time as buying a couple of large noodle bowls) and now finally had the tissues using gravity to their effect. And lord knows how much I hate a keyhole toilet but I'm going to have to get more used to it and crowned it while alone in the flat.
Quite satisfying to have a white rabbit to hang toilet tissues on
Haiwei had kindly invited me to his mum's place to eat tonight at 6.30pm, and my personal trainer had suggested this afternoon at 3pm, so after lunch of jiaozi I had a fairly-well planned rest of day. Well as planned as it gets here. Then at 5.23pm Li Kun pinged me to ask where I was eating tonight. I told him I had plans to go to Haiwei's mum's place and he explained that today was 小年, which is effectively the beginning of the New Year period as I recalled from last year. He had only pinged me as he didn't want me to be alone on such an important date. I told him I really appreciated his thinking of me. Really a best friend sort of thing to do.
At 6.30pm I set off on the 3 minute journey to Haiwei's mum's place and by the time I got 100 yards of course he was on the blower to me asking where I was. I didn't get the chance to buy any fruit but it was of no matter as I'm pretty much accepted as family here. I good deal of the family were there, as well as 80s looking calligraphy man who probably has a name, and of course it was a fun family affair, during which I did my best to speak English to Haiwei's two sons.
Cracking evening meal at Haiwei's mum's house
I don't recall how long the meal went on for but I was fully sated of course. A bit later when home, Lin Hong pinged me to ask if I was free for a concert on the 24th. Err...hadn't you just said the other day that it was the 25th? Well yes, but it had changed...ha...so what? Yeah, in for a penny and all that. So I pinged Li Kun to ask if I may be able to borrow the wireless things I used at the concert nearly four weeks ago and of course I could, but then he asked me to come over for a drink at Yang Ming park, the place of the previous concert. Well, "why not?" seems to be the order of the day for most days here, so I ask "now?" and he said yes, so 10 minutes later I was at Feng ge's place for a late bite. So much for my plan of sleeping for 5 hours at 11pm in order to get up for the Paris St Germain match at 4am.
Late night bites at Feng ge's new place near Yang Ming park
But of course it was a great evening, better than sleeping, although I didn't really appreciate the massive lamb bone that was thrust into my bowl that didn't even have any meat on it...as if I was to gnaw on that! Finally home at 2am I somehow managed to stay up to see us put on a pretty crap display with a couple of goals we barely deserved before PSG steam-rollered us...I fell asleep at 3-2 knowing it would end worse.
I admit to sleeping in my own place rather than Lin Hong's last night...I've bloody paid for it so thought I'd better justify it. I got up too late for breakfast and not sure I'd had any lunch too before Xiao Nong pinged me to say she was having her hair done and we were to go to Nanning in a bit. Oh, fair enough, so something planned was actually going to happen. I barely had time to shower before she announced she'd arrived downstairs. Sure enough she shouted at me from a car as I walked to my bike to get my charger.
I really wish more people would take the train to Nanning rather than a bloody car. Not only is it cheaper, but so much faster, given we were going to the centre. But no, it was a car, and just the two of us so probably over £20 but hey. We got there, we walked around, and it was bloody warm with most people in tee-shirts. We walked past A Wu's hotpot place and I suggested getting food a bit later but as luck would have it she got a message to say there was no-one to look after her kids so we would have to go back in a bit...pretty typical I suppose but no complaining. It was a question of booking a didi che to some other place in Nanning to be picked up a few minutes later by another car that was going back to Pingguo and already had a mother and daughter inside.
Yuck...the golden arches in Nanning
A Wu was pinging me to go and eat with some friends on the way back but we first stopped off at mine and grabbed a needed bite to eat, and only at getting on for 9pm did I check with A Wu that he was still there and indeed he was so I left by myself and got there 10 minutes later. At least I got to where he'd sent the dingwei, it even had the name of the hotel. I walked into the hotel and confirmed this with the woman at the desk. But of course this wasn't correct, and it took a 5 minute video call with A Wu for him to finally locate me. Couldn't he have just sent a more accurate dingwei in the first place?
Well it was fine, and we walked around the back of the hotel until finally arriving at some rural looking shack that was apparently Boss Wei's place. As usual there were a couple of women accompanying about 10 pissed blokes, and as I was about 3 hours late it was slightly messy. I managed a few ganbeis with them before realising Tan had tried to call me 10 times this evening but I'd missed them all. So I called her back and explained I'd been busy (true) and now was with A Wu and Boss Wei. "Boss who?", oh, she didn't know him so I explained I'd known him since the summer of 2023 and the boys had eaten with him too. I even let her speak to him on the phone but I think she still didn't trust that he was safe. That's just the way it is.
First meal of the evening with Wei Laoban
Anyway we only stayed there for half an hour before A Wu announced we were going somewhere else, just the two of us. I was grateful that for once he decided it would be a good idea to walk there, I just didn't expect it to take over 20 minutes but he'd been drinking since 6pm and I hadn't really. But it ended up being a pretty fun meal outside some rural house except for the fact that I needed to relieve my bowels which wasn't much fun. But bloody hell I've done it enough times here now and I should be used to it. At least now I don't have to remove my trousers and boxer shorts.
And the final meal where I made some friends and played caima again as you do
Of course there was a lot of caima, and I finally felt a bit drunk, so eventually A Wu and I left and this time after 5 minutes on foot he scanned a couple of public electric bikes and we took those back to where I'd left my bike earlier. Li Kun had pinged me to go and have a drink with him but as it was already getting one for 1am he said he was on his way home. Fair enough. I'd had another wonderful day and evening in Pingguo and I think got back to my place relatively early to sleep, wherever that was.
Lin Hong had sorted out her dad's place so I thought I'd better go over and bring my stuff there. I couldn't tell her about the place I'd already sorted out so took over minimal clothes and toiletries to echo the ones I have in my place, and resolved to stay there at least some of the time as she's made such an effort for me. Not just for this place but the last 21 years.
Unrelated but slightly amusing jing jiu...I hope it wasn't really from the deer
My new bedroom...could be worse though those curtains bleed light
Lunch and tea were both leftover duck leg, which was fine by me, and separated by a good 2-3 hour siesta. I'd been invited to eat with someone this evening but that was two days ago so I figured it wouldn't happen and I was right. I've been here long enough to know that things generally only go ahead if planned under 24 hours in advance. Indeed a bit later in the evening Xiao Nong pinged me to go to Nanning to "play". In all these years I've not found a better translation. It literally means "play" but also means "relax", or "walk about", I guess anything that isn't necessary or work. So of course I said I could, but knew there would only be a 50/50 chance of it happening.
So I bit later I popped in to see Li Kun for a cuppa but he was about to leave for a few minutes for some reason to do with music. I ended up chatting with a woman I'd seen before and had quite a "normal" chat for this neck of the woods. She didn't have children and I was almost surprised she didn't ask me to find her an English boyfriend as so many others have done. Presently Li Kun came back at about 11pm as did more people and we ate and chatted till the early hours as you do...
Having one of the few "normal" conversations in Pingguo
A bit more lively when Li Kun and friends got back a bit later
Woke up to find it wasn't that far from lunchtime so pinged A Wu to see if he wanted to go for a bite. Indeed he said he did and pinged a dingwei and said to meet him very soon of course. Blimey I was expecting to go and eat duck soup but we ended up at Shang hui. I've asked Tan about this. It literally means "chamber of commerce" and I've told her it clearly isn't and she agrees. But A Wu swears it's genuine.
Preparing food for later this afternoon
Well they were definitely gearing up for some big feast later in the day but A Wu and I just had a bowl of noodles and some meat and soup, and then I was allowed to leave but told to come back by 5pm which sounded suspiciously early. I went home to grab a shower and indeed by 4.30pm A Wu was already calling me to come over, so I left around 5pm got stuck in the worst Pingguo traffic jam I've ever encountered. Fair enough, 5.15pm is about the busiest time you can get, with people going home to eat, but even the dian dong ches were stuck.
Of course I received more calls but I got there around 5.30pm and it looked like people had been drinking for two hours or more. I was really not in the mood but had to do three cans' worth of ganbeiing till I had to explain "肚子胀了" (my tummy is bloated) and said I'd be back in 10 minutes as I needed a walk. Needed a break from the booze more like. It ended up being a half hour walk with just my City top on as it was still warmish. Back in Shang hui I managed a couple more ganbeis but still couldn't get into it. It was about four tables all with blokes around them save for a couple of token ladies.
A sausagefest
Then at 8.20pm Ma Yong pinged me to go over to his little shop to have a few drinks. Finally I was getting into the swing of things at Shang hui so said I should be able to make it a bit later. And indeed around 9.30pm I made my excuses to the red-faced gentlemen and drove over to Ma Yong's place. Apparently it was A Ning's son's birthday and they were having a party for him. Well, the kids were - in a different room - and I was given a slice of birthday cake which I actually ate because I couldn't eat most of the stuff at the previous meal.
Nicer late meal with mates
It ended up being a much nicer meal, with wives in tow as well and in general friendly faces. Much more enjoyable than the previous sausagefest. And because it was a kid's birthday party we didn't stay much beyond midnight so I had a relatively early night.
Jeez...a drunken Xiao Nong called me at 3.30am to take her "home" and of course I bloody agreed as that is what you do here. But it meant getting to sleep at nearly 5am and I had to be up at 9.30am for the dress rehearsal. And they bloody meant it. Lin Hong told me to go and fetch my guitar as I didn't think they'd need me to do such a practice (last year they didn't anyway) so I had the excuse to leave for a short while. It was rather surreal...four hours' sleep and having to play the guitar on stage in the late morning...but hey. I'd taken a Tramadol and was ok with it. I came back before midday and did my stint on the stage, but the guitar was not loud enough it seemed; the microphone was not close enough to it or something, and they didn't have a 10 metre cable to plug me in. So I said I'd try to find one.
I met Tan's ex-boss at the dress rehearsal
Of course that wasn't to be a big problem, and I should have worded the problem not as it was worded to me, i.e. "try to find a 10 metre guitar (3.5mm) cable". The problem was more "how can we connect the guitar to the sound system?". Because when I pinged Li Kun about the problem he proposed a wireless solution. Of course. So I let Lin Hong know I had a solution and Li Kun told me to pop around when I had time and he would charge them up.
I'd not had much sleep so after a meal of jiaozi at my local place went back for a small siesta and then practised 有没有人告诉你 with Xiao Nong and she said she had confidence in me, which helped quite a bit. Then it was already gone 6pm so I left with my guitar in tow and stopped off at Li Kun's to pick up the wireless transmitter and receiver. We had a quick test run and it seemed to work ok so I had high hopes for the actual stage.
Ah...a guitar and a laptop make a house a home...
Li Kun's excellent solution for the guitar issue
At 6.45pm I got a message from one of us presenters to hurry up to take my place so I told them I was on my way and 10 minutes later I turned up to see there were about 200 people already in the audience. I had the presence of mind to mention the wireless solution to the sound engineer and we did a quick test which meant me getting up on stage to ensure that the connection would work over the 8 metres or so between him and me. Even that was a little nerve-wracking but at least it bloody worked and I didn't have to sing anything. But next it was time to do the presenting....
Presenting all of the eight characters I had to say...
I knew I only had eight characters to say though and this time didn't need to translate them to pinyin. I also knew I was 24th out of 25 acts so I might have time a bit later for a bit of Dutch courage. Except when I saw the printout of the performances they'd "promoted" me to 5th on the list! Bloody hell. That would be about 15 minutes into the show and we were about to go on stage for the opening presentation. Well we had a couple of minutes to prepare and I was to be the first on stage, but wouldn't have to talk till for a minute or so. I guess having done this before in Bangxu made me a bit less jinzhang (nervous) but this was Pingguo so I felt a little bit of pressure. But the opening passed fine and I didn't screw up at least. Then I saw the semi-professional dancers and wondered what the hell I was doing here...they'd been practising for months and I learnt my song in a few days.
Luckily, I'd had the forethought to buy some jingjiu and happily admit to downing a little of it neat before I was due. It was not the most-prepared set in the world as they had to find a stool for me to sit on and set up the microphone at the right height. But I didn't rush. I introduced myself as husband of Bangxu woman who comes from the UK (me, not her), and said I would sing a Chinese song. And just bloody did it. It's not the easiest of songs and I tuned down the highest notes, but it got a better reception than the other acts and I realise of course it's because of my ethnicity rather than my talent. And afterwards I thanked everyone, said I loved Pingguo (true), and especially Bangxu (sort of true), which got another round of applause. And I walked off a very relieved man. I believe relief, or whatever the neurotransmitter is that it triggers, is the best drug, and I daresay related to whatever it is that is transmitted during an orgasm.
有没有人告诉你？
Lu zong had already invited me to go to his bar at 7pm tonight but I'd told him I mightn't be able to make it till a lot later, but at 9pm I noticed one of the presenters had left already, so I asked A Ge permission to leave and he said I could. So 10 minutes later I was in his bar in Jiangbin Lu again and this time I was happy to indulge in a few ganbeis as I'd been relatively good up till then. I didn't know too many of the people there be got on like a house on fire. What a strange expression.
Another great meal with Lu zong and mates
Anyway, it turned out that what I was eating was wildcat. I had to doublecheck that it wasn't doublespeech for something else but no, apparently it really was. I guess I felt like people who have eaten dog for the first time without realising it. Oh well, c'est la vie (except not for the wildcat). Lu zong got a bit drunk and was taken home soon after midnight and I think I followed pretty soon after. All-in-all a quite exhausting day but in a very nice way.
Well it was a bit strange waking up in yet another bed, but hopefully I become used to this one. I'd slept well, and knew there was no chance of any family coming in. But I felt bad about Lin Hong who had sorted out her dad's place, so I resolved to spend some time there at least.
Around midday I pinged A Wu to go for a bite and he sent me a dingwei so half an hour later I turned up and gave him a call. It was at a BYD dealership and he was apparently having a test drive, so I walked about a bit to soak up some sun until he got back, when we had a chat with woman from the dealership about certain options, and which colour he'd like (a sort of greyish beige I wasn't too keen on). Then he sent me another dingwei and I presumed that was where we were to eat so I set off there and met him 10 minutes later. But it was just another BYD dealership where we were looking at the new model he was soon to buy. For someone deep in debt (according to Tan) he does seem to have quite deep pockets.
A Wu's soon-to-be new car (or at least this model)
Then Xiao Nong called to have something to eat and as I realised I could be waiting a while for A Wu I told him I had other arrangements for eating and that was totally acceptable. Ha, sometimes it works the other way round. So I picked her up and we ended up simply getting pao mian from the shop outside my new place and turning on the water dispenser so it fed boiling water for them. Sometimes the simple things in life are just fine. We had a couple of beers and afterwards I managed another siesta as you do.
In the evening I got some duck legs as you do and we maybe had a couple more beers. Much later Li Kun pinged me to go to KTV but as I knew I had to do my performance tomorrow I said I'd just come for half an hour. So much for that...I was back home at gone 2am and we needed to do a dress-rehearsal at 10am.
Despite my relatively early night last night I didn't stir in time for breakfast and I think I had pao mian for lunch. But yeah I realised I had sorted out a flat for me for the next four weeks. I really appreciate Lin Hong's dad's apartment but don't feel comfortable there, so Xiao Nong helped me get in contact with someone and I saw this place for 800 kuai for a month so booked it there and then, and I should be able to move in today or tomorrow. It's a bit far away from the centre but still only about 7 minutes on the dian dong che. So now it was a question of sorting out more house stuff that would take the best part of a day.
So bedding, bowls, beer and other stuff not beginning with "b" were bought. But I'd also bought 15 sessions with a personal trainer and I wasn't going to waste them so I'd arranged a session at 3pm. I'm not massively impressed but more importantly it gets me to go to the gym and I'm not alone. Most people there are with mates and it feels slightly weird to be there by oneself.
I grabbed a shower at Jiuma's place as I don't have my stuff at Lin Hong's place, then rode down to the new flat to sign the contract. I was embarrassingly nearly half an hour late, but it didn't seem to be a problem. I hadn't thought about the length of stay but of course they don't do short-term rents so I negotiated a three-month contract, saying I'd extend it if I could, and though I doubt it will be possible I really hope I'm able to come back to take advantage of it.
In the evening Xiao Nong said to come out to KTV so I said ok but she just said she was waiting for Boss Zhou to send her the number of the room and I heard nothing after that. So typical for here...not even a simple "oh...maybe we won't be going" but instead radio silence. But I'm so used to it now I don't really care, and when Li Kun pinged me an hour later to go to the new bar on the 4th floor above the supermarket by the guangchang I had no qualms in accepting, as I was already somewhat in the mood to go out. In the mood to go out, but not to perform on the stage but one evening maybe I will. The thing on my mind though was in two evenings' time I'm due to perform on a proper stage in front of maybe a few hundred people. Anyway, it was a nice evening with not too much caima, and a relatively early night in my new place.
I quite like the LEDs at this new bar on the 4th floor
Well clearly I wasn't up in time for breakfast but Li Kun pinged me at 9.53am to send me the money that had only finally come through well after 48 hours. Well at least it had come through.... At midday I asked if he wanted to eat and he responded by saying we'd go to Liang ge's place to eat North-eastern dumplings. Fair enough. He sent a dingwei and I said I'd be there in 25 minutes and was only 20 minutes late. Li Kun was there with his wife, and before long we were served with delicious starters before the dumplings. Of course Liang ge wouldn't let me pay afterwards but I'll definitely come back to be a paying customer in the future.
Li Kun's wife and Li Kun about to enjoy North-eastern dumplings
We went back to Li Kun's office afterwards to drink tea, but as I'd only had 4-5 hours' sleep I said I'd take a beer and get a nap in a bit. That was fine of course but of course more people turned up over the next hour. It was getting on for 3pm and I asked Li Kun when he had to get back to work but he seemed to say "soon" with a wave of the hand. I'd like his job. But I manly managed my way through two cans of 2.8% beer before excusing myself, and did indeed indulge in a bit of a siesta for a couple of hours.
Enjoying post-prandial tea (or beer in my case) with friends after lunch...does anyone work here?
Then Nong pinged me to eat beef as you do. I was grateful for having a plan again so told her I'd be there in an hour as I had to do boring house stuff like hang out clothes as you do. So I got there a bit later and of course muscle boss was there, as well as a few people I knew and didn't know. Well it was mighty fun until a guitar was thrust into my arms but I didn't thrust it back and managed a few tunes to their satisfaction. Paying for my supper yet again, but very happily again.
Nong (in the foreground) and friends for a music-riddled evening
Of course we played caima, and I ping Li Kun to come, which indeed he did 20 minutes later. It got nicely raucous and there was caima and dancing and laughs all round. But I knew my limits and around 12.30am I made my excuses and went home...possibly one of my earlier nights this year so far. At 1am Li Kun pinged me to say he was at another place and to come and join him but this time I was too done in and told him I'd just got home. One of the few decent decisions I've made here.
It was weird and nice waking up in a new place. Not as nice and weird as my first morning this year in China but still....
Anyway after lunch Lin Hong pinged me to eat at 5.30pm with the other presenters. They really take this sort of thing seriously, which is totally fair enough. I've been put in a new Weixin group for this year and they were discussing how many lines I'd have to say. I'm guessing after last year they don't want me to have too many! Indeed they had only planned to let me introduce two acts which is fair enough and I said I'd be up for it.
In the end I got to the restaurant fashionably late as usual and the same people from last year were there except for one bloke who wasn't. The young woman is fabulously attractive, and I would wager would pass for one of the objectively most beautiful women in the world. Annoyingly, she is also one of those born leaders. She oozes confidence and I guess it's partly a result of pretty-privilege but she doesn't in any way use it to put others down. I predict she will be the first female premiere of China in the modern era.
A meal with us hosts to discuss the festival in a few days
I didn't care too much for beer, but A Ge ordered four bottles for the two of us. And the food was amazing so I didn't waste it by having any rice. We talked a little about the show on the 18th but didn't go into too many details; I guess it was more an excuse to get together for a nice nosh. Two more beers were ordered, or maybe it was four, but we didn't go to excess.
I had no plans for the evening but that changed when Nong pinged me to go to sing song at Miss You KYV at nearly 10pm. Well of course, why not? I said I'd be half an hour and turned up 45 minutes later after a couple of beers as I knew I'd have a microphone thrust into my hands before I'd have time for two more. And of course it was a fun time...more friends I knew turned up and it turned into another night that I put in the justification bank for coming back again this year. Looking at Weixin messages it looks like I got back at 3am to let her know I was home safely.... Surely I'm too old for this.
Well apparently it's not great that I'm living at Waipo's place as Jiuma and Tan are still in disagreements about the housing situation, so Tan told me to get in contact with Lin Hong about moving into her late father's two-bedroom flat. And a matter of hours later I was there. Hmm...no wifi and only one bar on the phone was not a good sign, but first world problems that can be fixed. Lin Hong already had an army of aunties cleaning out the place, though it had the signs that a hoarder had been living there and they didn't remove all the excess furniture. Still....
The bedroom of the flat I'm supposed to go to
and the ladies cleaning it out
A bit later I arrived at the gym to meet A Xia. We ended up arranging what I think is a very expensive 2980 kuai order of 15 hours of personal trainer time. The selling point was that any I didn't use, Tan could use when she's back in Pingguo, which may be May for Chuan Chuan's wedding.
Includes 15 private lessons, 1 monthly family card, 1 fitness water cup. One-to-one tracking of diet plan, exclusive training plan, fitness emotion management, exclusive training area.
But I did it mainly because that was the excuse I gave Tan for my last-minute return to Pingguo. Maybe she'll learn now that I do listen to her. So the next thing was to send money to Li Kun so he could fund my Weixin account. But this was an expensive one as I needed money for the near future as well so sent 6000 kuai. At least that what I hoped. Normally it takes a few minutes to arrive but it hadn't arrived by the evening and I had to message the woman at the gym that I'd pay asap, but of course it wasn't an issue.
I met Xiao Nong for a bite to eat later and although wanted an early night that wasn't forthcoming of course.
